Original subtitles

We almost made it to the chorus!

Into the Rektum!

Into the Rektum!

What do you think of this solo?

No...

I agree with Oula.

How do you do it?

Turo.

We booked the last gig of our Northeastern Finland tour.

- A festival? - Barfie's Basement.

Is it

a big venue?

No, it's Barfie's Basement.

Only true metalheads know it.

This tour is going to be for the chosen few.

And we might even have to turn some of them away.

Maybe our lawyer is coming.

He made it pretty clear he's not coming back.

Maybe your parents are coming, Lotvonen.

They can't afford to visit here.

I hope it's Satan.

I've been calling him.

Hello.

Hello.

We just said no to Wacken.

And to 50,000 euros.

That's metal.

You're next.

LOTVONEN SLAUGHTERHOUSE

What the hell...

Pekka.

Pekka!

Mr. Pettersen, you asked me to let you know

when the guests from PrisonAdvisor have arrived.

Yes, great. Thank you, Hilde.

Make sure everyone is smiling.

Everything has to be perfect.

Okay. Great.

A big day.

Why do we always have salmon?

They didn't let you go home?

This is just like prison.

Dad had a seizure

when they found out they need 30,000 euros

or they'll lose the farm.

They don't have that kind of money.

I'm going to escape.

You're not serious.

I have to see Dad while he's still alive.

Do you know how much more time we'll have to do for that?

We only have a couple of months left.

We could save the slaughterhouse with the money from Wacken.

Pekka is like a dad to me.

The farm is like a home to us.

I say we go play that gig.

A mainstream festival for metal posers.

But escaping prison would be cool, though.

Let's go.

You can't be serious.

You're going to change your mind when you see my plan.

I planned this thoroughly.

Timing is really important here.

Come help me!

We've been waiting an hour.

It takes a long time to do this.

Sometimes you could make a compromise.

Compromises are for amateurs.

Try bareback.

Let's get the hell out of here. Fast!

Close the gate!

Close the gate!

Why did you have to eat the key card?

I'll take care of this. My metabolism is fast.

Guys!

I have a librarian's keycard.

I get new records from the mainland once a week.

Stop!

Oh, dear.

This is not good. Not good at all.

When PrisonAdvisor finds out prisoners have left us...

- We can be happy if they give us a six. - If they find out.

Let's find them on our own. Nobody needs to find out.

- What do you mean? - Let's catch them.

Throw them into the sea.

What are you talking about?

I was just kidding.

I meant we should bring them back for rehabilitation.

I know the perfect person for the job.

Efficient. Motivated. Trained.

Me.

Are you sure you're not taking this personally?

Oh, no. Absolutely not.

I'm worried about the boys.

They're like children to me.

I'm a very motherly person.

I just want this to be

a prison people want to come to.

NORWEGIAN COD

I'm bringing Mom fish so she doesn't always have to eat lamb.

I wonder if it was overripe.

Get the hell out!

I ain't trading with you!

I would've given it to you for free.

Kristian.

Oh, Lord.

How come you're here?

I thought you were the guys from the bank.

I came to see Dad.

Aw.

Turo.

Oula.

Hello.

Zyrtec.

- Xytrax. - Right.

The men in suits demand we invest money

in renovating the slaughterhouse,

but we don't have that kind of money.

The vultures are already waiting,

wanting to bulldoze the yard

and build a darn supermarket.

But we won't give up without a fight.

The doctor suspects

the fear of losing the farm has caused a mental breakdown.

He's shed so much blood in this place

that they're tied together.

I'm going to lose my old man, home and job.

And our rehearsal space.

If we had money,

we'd help.

I know that. You're good boys.

But now we can only wait for a miracle.

We have a plan.

You were so young and excited in that picture.

- Jynkky was still alive. - Yeah.

It's ringing.

Well?

We need a ride.

Is Dad's Saab still broken?

What do you think?

Could we borrow that?

What?

Darn it!

I think our ride is here.

Coffee and buns.

No!

Come back!

Guys, we're in deep shit.

I can't feel my ass.

We should cross the sea.

And we have no money.

Well,

we don't have passports, either.

Shit.

There's a dead person there.

Darn it.

Do you know who they are?

Bloodmotor.

The most brutal band in the world.

Five albums ago.

Covers.

We have to play this gig!

I can't believe I'm feeling this shitty at a Bloodmotor gig.

I can.

Hey,

Turo's singing on the main stage! Come see him sing.

What's this?

This is the worst thing you can do to metal.

What's wrong with them?

Well, just look at them.

They look ridiculous.

You don't have to look at them, do you?

I think you like them.

I definitely don't.

This plastic pop is just used for selling merchandise.

Right.

Okay, why don't you stay here and not like them.

I'm gonna go watch Turo melt faces.

Turo! Turo.

Insane!

My love, Armando.

Everything's gonna be okay.

I'll get them for doing this to you.

- These stylists know what they're doing. - Speak for yourself.

I think that looks damn good.

- Who are you? - Lotvonen.

You had stylists?

Maybe this will look better in the photos.

Let's try with the hammer.

All right.

Wrap the song up.

I have a suggestion.

This won't take long.

No. Wait.

I think that's enough.

What the hell was that?

I couldn't get it right.

I was thinking too much.

You weren't thinking at all.

We looked ridiculous.

First time abroad.

We've been in Norway for the past five years.

Abroad for real for the first time.

This is so cool.

It's so different here from back home.

Guys, you think it's a good idea to be walking around here?

Let's get this thing over with and go back to prison.

And let's pray we don't have to sit there for the rest of our lives.

Let's enjoy now that we're not in prison.

You smell that?

Stroetzels!

You think we could ask Fisto for an advance?

We haven't eaten in days.

Let's not be difficult.

Run!

Run!

Get in!

Here's Lou Reed's old liver.

Who cares.

Let's get the hell out of here and fast. Where's the exit?

Oh, shit.

Hide!

Guys.

Come.

Easy now. It's me, Turo.

Oula, easy.

Let's go.

What happened?

Well...

Not much.

What?

Dokken busted in,

and I almost took her down all by myself,

but then you came

and threw her across the room like a rag doll.

Darn brutal!

Not good.

I don't like this at all.

Let's go back.

We can't. We have to move forward.

We're in this together.

Obviously.

At least I don't have to be ashamed of those clothes.

Hey! I'll talk to Fisto.

Hey, guys!

What is it?

The guys are disappointed because the poster focuses on you.

It's like a Turo show where the rest of us

are mere shadows in the background.

I got it.

It's nice, but it's no band photo.

More like a solo artist's advertisement.

And the font...

You won't believe this,

but these girls are from the band you dig, BABYMETAL.

Turo, look!

Darn it.

Let's go.

I think the sound is okay.

We can't be selfish.

We have to save the slaughterhouse.

And Pekka.

What do you think?

Dad needs me.

We have to play the gig.

You can't leave now, Xytrax.

Could you listen to other people's opinions, for once?

I listen to them. They're just not good.

Just this once.

Wait.

We don't all want to play for a handful of people.

Do you always have to be so inflexible?

You could make compromises sometimes. Pasi.

Say something.

You're gonna make a fine solo artist, Turo.

Fine, go!

You're a mediocre bass player anyway.

Satan.

Cops!

There!

Shit!

Are you okay?

Saturday.

He's good.

Nope, we're going this way.

Get in.

Oula, let's go.

Are we stealing cars again? Is that it?

What next?

A dead body.

On our way to a festival with a dead body in the trunk, again.

He's not in a hurry to go anywhere.

What. Has. Happened. To. You?

Nothing.

Someone's gotta take responsibility here.

Responsibility? Turo, you just want to play the gig.

You don't care about anyone but yourself.

I've done all the work!

You've just tagged along.

You're welcome!

Oula.

You wouldn't have gotten anywhere without me.

Oula.

Oula!

Oula!

Oula, no!

Oula!

Oula, calm down!

Oula, listen.

Oula!

Let him go.

The drums will be playback anyway.

Are you coming?

Darn it.

C'mon, let's go.

I did it for us.

Darn it!

Thomas. What are you doing here?

I'm taking a big risk. I hope you know what you're doing.

Of course.

I came to save you.

We were doing fine on our own.

Guys.

I'm so sorry.

I know I screwed up.

I just wanted to do the gig so bad.

It's just so cool to be onstage.

I just wanted everyone to like me.

It wasn't worth it because you weren't there.

It was a shitty gig.

Do you have the money?

- The money? - We still have time to save Dad.

Let's get the money.

Together.

Into the Rektum.

Oh, Lord.

How many cans do we have to collect?

A hundred and twenty thousand.

I have 16 already.

Can you hear that?

I see.

Turo found a better way to collect cans.

He just wants attention.

Where you going?

To make a compromise.

Nice solo.

It had a little bit of Necrofilius Christ Puncher's scales,

but mostly it was original.

I don't care what you think of it.

- This was just for me. - That's the way.

You came.

We came to save the farm.

That's all.

Right.

It looked like you needed us.

Where did you get the instruments?

These are from Xytrax's new favorite band.

Well, it's not my favorite band.

They're number seven on my list, between Goreyhole and Vominatrix.

But they might move up when their new record comes out.

Let's play the most brutal gig in the world.

No.

Are you all right?

I'm okay.

I just have a little headache.

- Does it look bad? - Yeah... No...

A bullet went through your head.

There's a nasty-looking hole.

Darn it.

Yeah, well,

I guess it didn't hit anything important.

You might want to put a bandage on it anyway.

You saved me.

It's the guitarist's job.

People commit all kinds of crimes just so they can see the show.

It's great.

Pekka!

Come down from your throne, King.

There are so many holes that need to be filled!

Keep your pants on.

I'll fill my missus's holes.

All is well in the kingdom.