Original subtitles

You have to stop pestering me every morning at dawn!

Forewarned is forekilled!

It's cold!

So cold!

It's too cold!

Armaduk! Armaduk...

< Artemio! - Yes mom?

< Your latte is ready! - I'll get dressed and come down!

So cold...

Hello penguin!

You gotta move out of this room, I've decided to put a stove.

- Mom! - Yes, honey?

What the hell, this house is too cold!

Of course. The house is big, we can't heat it all up.

Let's take a smaller one. Something more modern.

What if you get married and have kids? You'll need the big house.

Who am I supposed to marry? You're the youngest girl in town!

There's Maria Rosa, the vintner's daughter.

Maria Rosa is ugly, she disgusts me, she has pimples.

- Picky, aren't we? - Come on, fill her up!

Maria Rosa is beautiful.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

- I like her. - Then you go marry her!

Are you eating? Without saying grace?

Our Father who art in heaven, I hope you are well

because my life here is hell.

Give us today our daily and possibly fresh bread.

I have no debt, there are no temptations where I live, so it is.

So it is.

Peep, peep, peep, peep ...

Artemio, have a nice day at work!

Thank you very much, very kind of you.

Cheer up! A good day starts in the morning!

Yeah, and I'm loading manure.

Then I'll transport the manure...

then I'll spread the manure.

All in all, it's a real shitty day!

- Bye! - Bye!

If somebody comes looking for me, I'm not there for anyone!

- Have a nice day at work, Artemio! - You too, Elpidio!

So foggy!

It can't go on like this! It's the same story every morning!

They need to put a double lane.

Holy hell, the soil is dry, it's arid.

It hasn't rained for two months, it looks like a desert.

There're never a drop of rain in this cursed village!

Hey you, up there! Make up your mind!

Either send down some camels or some water!

Thanks!

Thanks! Finally!

Thanks, that's okay! That's fine!

A little less! A little less!

Enough now! No more water!

That's enough!

Will you stop it, you bloody crows? Stop!

Stop for real, don't bullshit me!

All right, eat it all.

90,118...

Twelve o'clock. I did a good job this morning.

One final hit and then we go to eat!

My wine!

Holy hell!

Oh well. I won't drink today.

Yuck! I won't eat either!

Let's sleep on it.

Silence!

My tongue tastes bitter...

Artemio, how handsome you are!

How young you are! You have the beauty of the donkey!

- Every time I see you, I fall in love. - Yuck!

- I'm not beautiful, but I'm rich. - You're disgustingly rich!

THREE-HOUSE VILLAGE - part of TEN-HOUSE VILLAGE MUNICIPALITY

- Good afternoon, Artemio! - Hello.

- Are you coming to see the show? - No, I'm going home.

- Come on! - I have already seen it!

Let's all go!

OK let's go.

Last time I was late and only saw half of it.

(Artemio) You need to follow the schedule.

Here comes!

< It's so beautiful! < It's awesome!

Last time there were fewer wagons, this time it's really nice!

- Last time there were more wagons. - The train is always the train!

They should schedule it more often.

No, you'd get used to it and it wouldn't be fun anymore.

- The train is always nice. - Yes, the train is nice.

Today is the 15th of the month, I have to cut your nails.

- We cut them a month ago! - That was your left foot.

It's been two months since we last trimmed your right foot!

- Why do you buy big shoes? - Because I am a farmer:

"Big shoes, fine brains." They have the same effect of phosphorus.

Then you're a genius, honey.

Be careful!

Forget it, it's a dangerous job.

I'll have it done in the workshop, I'll feel safer.

Do me a favor, turn on the TV. I want to see the news.

- A IUMBO fell in Indochina. - Where's Indochina?

You have to go to Lugano and then always straight.

I didn't know.

274 victims. The black box is also dead.

Speaking of misfortunes, you know what happened?

< No.

Mr. Giuseppe's dog got into our courtyard.

He chased our cat, caught it,

He bit him and killed him.

- What's for dinner? - Rabbit.

Whenever a cat dies, you make rabbit! Just make me two eggs!

- Who can it be? - A surprise.

< Open the door!

- Who could beat this time of night? - Just open up!

It's Maria Rosa.

I made this myself, happy birthday.

- What's the occasion? - It's your birthday!

Holy hell, I forgot!

You were born on April 22, you are a Taurus. She is Virgo.

- In every way. < (Artemio) I believe you.

If you stay like this they'll make you a saint. It won't be difficult for you.

Stay and eat with us.

No, she has to go home. Aren't you busy?

- No! - See?

She has to go home and put on some acne cream.

Use lots of it! Or try vitriol. Bye.

Wait up!

- It must be good. - Artemio, you are a villain!

How old am I? 36, 37? I lost count.

40!

- Are you kidding? - You think I don't know?

You were born the year dad planted the chestnut tree on the property line.

You are the same age as that chestnut: 40 years exactly.

40 years? I'm old then. Drop the cake!

You are not old, you are still a boy!

40 years! And I stayed where you planted me. Just like the chestnut tree!

Let's have cake to celebrate 40 years spent among the Zulu

eating away at my youth! Go fuck yourselves!

Honey, you look crazy!

I'm fucking sick of this! I absolutely have to do something!

I don't want to end up like the chestnut tree!

40 years for a man is the last resort!

Lord, he wants to go to a resort! But he can't swim!

Why do you want to leave? The city is full of temptations!

- It's an ugly beast! - That's the world, that's life!

People communicate there, they have fun.

I've never moved from the country! I haven't even been in the military!

- I'm a widow, you're my support. - What a support...!

There's movement in the city... there are lights, skyscrapers, music!

People meet, they make a lot of money.

There are careers, "self made man".

- What does it mean? - It means I'll do myself!

You'll get bags under your eyes! You must get married!

It means I want to fulfill myself, reach any goal!

Would it disgust you to have the President of the Republic for a son?

- I like you as you are. - A farmer for life!?

- What's that? - The savings of 20 years of work.

2 million and 344 thousand lire.

Don't waste them and hide them well.

- You don't want them? - I do!

In the city, people don't live on smog alone.

< Artemio! - Yes?

- You forgot your alarm clock. - Thanks, eat it yourself.

- Bye. - What if I want to write to you?

- You can't write. - Right. What if I want to call you?

I'll find a hotel, a pension, I'll let you know.

Go to your cousin, the one who emigrated to Milan many years ago.

He's settled down, he'll give you a hand.

- What cousin? - Severino Cicerchia.

- The farter? - Yup.

I hope I won't need him. Bye.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Lord...

- (man) Go home! - (woman) Move away!

(man) Where are you going with that thing?

(man) You can't go around like that!

I get it! One moment!

Wait! Be calm! What's the hurry?

- Take him away! - That's enough!

(man) You can't! Go!

(man) Where are the cops?

Hey! Stop! Pull over!

Pull over! I told you to stop!

Stop there!

- Get out. - I'm coming.

- Good morning. - Where are you go with this vehicle?

- Why, what is it? - Where is this light?

It's gone.

- Not even this. The tires are smooth. - I know.

- Do you have the triangle? - I have nothing.

- The spare tire? - I don't have it.

- Not even that one? - No, I have nothing.

- Road tax? - No.

- Driver's license? - Never had one.

- Never had a driver's license? - Never.

This vehicle cannot circulate. It's under seizure.

- How do I get around? - On foot.

- Can I take the suitcase? - Yes.

- Is the gun loaded? - Go away, or...

Or I'll shoot for real!

These peasants are crazy!

Help! Help!

Help,stop! You locked yourselves out!

Let us through!

Go away!

I can't cross, could you take me to the other side?

- How much it is? - 10 thousand.

10 thousand to cross a street?

There's the call fee, fare supplement and luggage transport.

I get it.

I'd like to see the Duomo, how do I get there?

- Cross the street again and... - I'm no longer interested.

- Hello! - Severino Cicerchia, aka the farter?

You have reached Severino Cicerchia's answering machine.

- Hello? - I am momentarily out of prison,

speak after the AUCUSTIC signal. Ready!

Severino, it's me, I've arrived in the city, are you happy?

Hello? Who are you?

I'm your cousin Artemio, the one from Three-House Village.

I remember! You're that blond dick-face!

- But I'm not blond. - Then I distinctly remember your face.

Could I please sleep at your place for one night?

- Okay, blondie. - Thanks.

- I'm in Piazza Sant'Eustorgio. It is far? < No.

Can you pick me up? I'm not familiar with the city.

Thanks, you're very kind.

I'll wait in front of the church, there's a small square with a garden.

- I don't remember you! - Me neither.

You were a kid when you left.

You can't go wrong, if you see someone with a suitcase, that's me.

- With a suitcase. - Yes, bye.

They stole my suitcase!

Oh!

- Hello. - Hello!

- Were you waiting for me? - Yes.

- You look so different! - You're a little different too.

- Over the years... - Are you coming to my house?

- That's why I'm here. - Won't you even give me a kiss?

- But... Severino! - My name's not Severino!

- What's your name? - Margherita!

- It's a misunderstanding. - No, YOU are a misunderstanding!

- I'm waiting for Severino. - You don't know what you're missing!

You villain.

Go to hell!

- Severino! - Artemio!

- Hello, Severino. - How did you recognize me?

- From your voice. - May I tell you something?

- Tell me. - You've got a dickface!

- Maybe, but I'm not blond. - Come on, hop on.

- If you feel air, roll up the window. - Don't worry.

I let it down so the air inside can escape.

(Severino) Air of my home...

This is my house, come in.

You like?

So much stuff! It feels like we're at the market. I really like it.

You've settled down really well. The furniture is very nice.

It's my job. I pick it up and the customer buys.

Are you in trade? It's a big investment.

Virtually nil. I run a "removal and sales" business.

Where do you think is my capital?

My capital is here! Inside my "melon box"! It's boxed in!

How much would you like to spend? Tell me!

See what's here! All kinds of goodies!

Makeup powder, pants, tape recorders,

black and white or color televisions: 12-inch, 15-inch. Telephones.

- Do you have a car stereo? - I don't even have a car.

Get the stereo first, then worry about the car!

I have a truly unique opportunity for you: Korean car stereo.

Stereo cassette player!

Put your finger in it and play the tape! Look here!

Fm, Fb, Fd, five stereo ICs, stereo tape...

Off, on, off, on. Five diodes and one transistor!

I can give this to you for 100 thousand lire!

100 thousand and one, 100 thousand and two... deal!

You won't give me 100 thousand lire?

Give me 10 thousand lire! Ten thousand lire and one, two...

I'll throw in these velvet pants! Ten thousand lire!

Give me 10 thousand lire! Not even 10 thousand lire?

OK, I'll gift it to you! I'll gift it to you and one...

I'm not gifting it to you. Dickface!

I'll give it to you when I say so!

- Would you like to eat something? - I haven't eaten since this morning.

I have no food. Would you like a glass of milk?

- You never turn down a glass of milk. - I have no glasses nor milk!

Did you come to eat and drink for free? What do you want?

- I came looking for work. - Would you like to work with me?

You would be a true friend, Farter.

We could do FEEFY-FEEFY.

FEEF for me and FEEF for you, do you understand?

You like FEEFY-FEEFY?

- What's that? - I FEEF 50% and you get 50%!

But it's a very demanding job, you always have to go straight,

without ever looking back.

- Do you have a clear record? - I'm clean and own nothing.

- Good! Can you drive a Vespa? - Of course!

All right! Hired!

- When do we start? - Let's start...

Let's start right away, come.

- It is far? - Don't worry, fool!

The important thing is that you go straight when the road is straight.

- Drive well, huh? - Yup.

- Do you like the metropolis? - Yup.

Really?

- It's like being in town. - Yup.

Turn right, slowly. Yes, good, right.

Slow down.

- Slow down, slow down. - I stop?

- Go near the sidewalk. - Like this?

Go slow, like this. Pull over a little more.

Go slow... go! Go!

Bravo! Now go! Fast, fast!

Turn right! Faster than light!

Why do you keep telling me go here, go there, right or left?

- I know what to do! - You do what I say.

We are not in the country here!

- Slow! Go right! - Should I stop?

No, get next to the sidewalk.

- Speed up! - Hey!

- You bastards! - I get it! You touched her ass!

Faster than light!

- You touched her ass! - Go! Accelerate!

Criminals!

- Bravo, you drive well. Slow down. - Now fast?

No, slow down! Stop!

I get it...

- Are we bricklayers? - No, the job is done.

This is yours... and this is mine.

I get it.

Thief! Thief!

- Shut up, they'll arrest us. - They'll arrest you!

They arrest you too, we stole together!

Aren't you ashamed of robbing poor people?

Don't beat me up like a thug, shame on you!

I tried to work honestly, but I couldn't! Try it yourself!

I steal from people who have something!

I don't steal anything from people who have nothing!

Shame of shames! Holy hell...

I took her bag because she had a bag!

If she didn't have a bag... It's not like I'd steal her arm.

Dye your hair blonde... Dickface!

I suffer so much when they scold me! I feel like crying!

Corsi Angela. Via dello Statuto 19.

- Good morning. - Can't you see you're soiling my floor?

- Sorry. Does Angela Corsi live here? - Yes, so what?

Don't do that, my feet hurt! I got my nails trimmed!

- What time does she come back? - I don't know, she's always working.

She could be back in half an hour, in three hours, no one knows!

Give her this, please. Say a friend left it for you.

Okay, but now get out of the way.

He soiled everything with those shoes!

It's not so much for the money, there was only 120 thousand lire,

It's the hassle: documents, keys...

- Can you open the door without breaking it? - I'll try.

But if it breaks, I'll change the lock.

The one who drove the Vespa, I saw his face so clearly.

A thug face!

I still have it in front of my eyes.

If I met him again, I would recognize him immediately.

- It's him! - I'll take care of it, Miss, stop.

- What? What have I done? - You know very well!

Enough with your hands, let's think.

- Is it him? - Yes, I'm sure.

- It's the lady of the handbag! - He recognized me too.

- Let's go. - Where? - To the police. - Not the police!

I got her purse back to the reception, I didn't touch anything!

- I don't believe you! - Poor guy, he could be telling the truth.

- Look at that thief face! - Let's check.

Let's check! If you've been bullshitting, I'll kick your ass!

- Ouch! My arm! - Get in!

(Artemio) No! You're pulling my hair!

- Enjoy your meal. - Thank you. You don't eat?

No, I don't eat in the evening. I'm on a diet.

Two crackers, if I have to.

Pasta has too many calories, it makes you fat.

I never cook it for myself.

How is it?

Good.

Have you just arrived in Milan? Finding a place to sleep is a problem.

< Yes. - Would you go to a Residence?

- I don't know what that is. - It's a mini apartment hotel.

- It's got everything, like a home. - There's nothing in my house.

I know the director, we send him our clients.

It's just a bit expensive: 50 thousand.

- Per month? - No, per day!

- Holy Mary! - But cleaning is included.

There's furniture, cutlery, TV. They also wash your linen.

Then I'll go there.

The director won't be there until tomorrow, though.

Don't worry, I'll find accommodation for tonight.

No! You'll sleep here tonight.

There? Thanks, I'm a farmer and I'm used to sleeping on the ground.

Not here, there! There's a sofa. I'm going to fix it for you.

- It's almost ready. - Good.

- What's that dress you're wearing? - It's not a dress, it's a pajama.

- Looks very good on you. - Thanks.

White makes it all stand out.

- All what? - All...

All the furniture.

- Is that your boyfriend? - I wish!

It's Platini. Handsome, huh?

Well... He dresses sporty.

The bed is made, goodnight.

- Am I not compromising you? - What do you mean?

I sleep in your house, the door woman saw us together.

You really are a peasant!

We're not doing anything wrong!

Right.

Tac!

- Artemio, what are you doing? - I was undressing.

I'll take you to the residence tomorrow morning, okay?

Yes thanks.

This is one of my pajamas, here.

I was combing my hair, sorry.

< What are you doing? - I shut myself out.

< Why? - So I'm inside.

- Artemio! - I'm here in the bathroom.

< We have to go out in 10 minutes. - I know, but I'd like to shave.

- Do you have a razor? - In the drawer on the right.

"For a correct use of the razor, spread your legs well."

I've been working in a very solid company for four years.

I have a good salary.

- Salary increase every two years. - Like Mennea.

At 50 I can retire with the maximum pension.

Can't complain, can I? Are you not listening?

I am engaged in driving.

- My days go by quickly... - Easy!

On Sundays I feel lost, I can't be doing nothing.

I have to move, act, run!

Brake!

Left! Now right!

- Aren't you driving too fast? - The secret is to never stop.

If one stops to meditate, if one looks over his shoulder,

maybe he'll ask himself: "What have I done with my life?".

Be careful!

Take the underpass!

Ignorant! It's that simple!

Watch out! A residence crosses the street!

- Please go slower. - We aren't moving!

Come on, the director is waiting for you!

Bye!

Angela, when will I see you again?

Unfortunately the small ones are all taken. Come!

You're lucky, there's a double one left, bright and very spacious.

Please!

- Happy? - The entrance is nice.

Entrance, living room, bedroom, kitchenette and bathroom. It's all here.

It's the result of careful research on a human scale.

Kitchenette.

Private corner.

Shower corner with changing room.

Recreational corner.

TV corner.

Telephone corner with built-in seat. Hello?

Lunch-dinner corner.

With reversible chairs.

- And the sleeping corner? - You go to bed after dinner, right?

Look. Here it is!

Beautiful and functional! And it's very light.

- Done. - Isn't there a window?

Obsolete. Come here.

Hot air, cold air, dehumidifier.

- Why do you need a window? - I don't.

- Satisfied? - Yes. - Here. - Thanks.

Neighbors hate noise, so don't have parties or conferences in here.

Sure.

You owe me a month in advance: one and a half million.

- So much? - Please.

- This is a million. - A million and a half.

- This is half. - Plus 200,000 for bills.

- That's 300,000. - Plus 79,000 for the TV license.

- Give me back... - Plus 150,000 for transportation.

- Transport of what? - Funeral transport.

In case you get a stroke, a thrombosis, a heart attack.

- You keep money there too? - No, I'm touching myself for good luck.

- Good morning. - Quick, Artemio's on the phone!

Here I am.

Hello? Artemio, is that you?

Mom, I live in a very modern apartment full of corners.

You should see how elegant I look! I have a nice cat-gray dress,

almost mouse-gray. I didn't imagine I would become so elegant.

Really? How much did you spend, my little star?

< Everything, but I'll look for a job tomorrow.

I have interesting prospects.

- Ah, I fell in love! - The distance did him good.

- He finally fell in love with you. - I love you too!

- Who's talking? - Maria Rosa. She's happy you love her.

I fell in love with a city girl.

She doesn't know, but I'll tell her next time. Are you happy?

- No! She's a good girl, she has a high school diploma.

- Then she's a whore! - You're a peasant, you don't understand!

Maybe. Artemio, I prepared a nice care package for you.

I put a ham, coppa, a few eggs and a little flour in it.

- I'll send it to you right away! - Mom, don't send me anything.

In the city we eat in a more practical, more vitaminic way.

I have to go, I'm going to prepare lunch. Bye.

Folding table... tac!

Rotating chair... tac!

Place for diners who are not there... tac!

Tablecloth by the meter... tac!

Paper plate, extra strong napkin!

Plastic cup... tac!

Carton wine... tac!

Ready to use spaghetti. Frozen side dish... tac!

Tuna and breadsticks to cut it... tac!

Now that's life!

Artemio!

- I'm here... - What happened to you?

Intoxication! They even gave him gastric lavage.

- Who are you? - No beds left. They matched us.

I'm glad you came, but how did you find me?

I phoned the residence, they told me you'd gotten sick.

- Here. - Thanks.

You said you're looking for a job, would you like to be an agent?

- Policeman? - No, insurance agent.

When you feel better, go to this address.

You will only have to take a small interview.

You'll see they'll hire you. I'm going now, it's late. Bye.

You just arrived and you're already leaving? Stop for a while.

It's nice in here... well...

You have to get used to it. Visiting the ill is a good deed.

Jesus is happy.

I'm sorry, I have to go to the bank, then to the airport to see a customer

and then go to the office. Bye, Artemio, see you.

Bye Angela.

- You ate them all. - You're not well!

- Were they good? - A little dry.

Sorry, I had a gastric lavage

and I still haven't recovered.

It's a Japanese watch, I found it in my Easter egg.

Maria Rosa gave it to me. She'd like to be my girlfriend.

We don't care. Are you familiar with life insurance?

Basically...

Calculate the rate of a hypothetical customer's lifetime policy.

For example... this colleague of mine.

I would not insure the gentleman, he already has one foot in the pit!

- He won't make the night. - But how dare you?

See?

All right.

This is a contract that provides for all types of accidents.

This is the pen. You have to come to my house and get me to sign.

You are welcome.

- What time will we meet? - Where?

- At your house. - It was an example! Sit down.

Sit closer, sit forward.

Come here, perfect.

- You arrived at my house. - Riiing.

- What's that? - Your doorbell.

Oh, you have the other kind? The one that goes dling-don?

- Shall I go dling-don? - Forget it, go ahead.

What is this?

The door of his house creaks, you need to put some oil in it.

Wonderful! Signed paintings, antique furniture, silverware!

Congratulations, did you inherit it? Sure, a thief could take it all...

but you won't care because you signed this.

I have a perfect alarm, no thief can enter my house.

A lightning strike! My neighbor's farmhouse burned down.

But you won't care because you signed this.

I don't have a farmhouse, but I have a lightning rod.

Your maid waxed the floor, you slip and break two ribs,

you weigh a lot, so you break the floor and ruin the apartment below.

I have carpet and I don't slip.

A cigarette butt burns the carpet and the house.

I do not smoke.

Your dog kills the neighbor's cat, but you won't care,

with the insurance money, you'll buy some rabbit.

- I have no dogs. - Your child might break a glass?

- I have no children. - Your wife... you have no wife?

Didn't you find one your size?

- At this point I'm screwed. - Yes, you're screwed.

Let's see what you do.

I'll take the contract and write that you didn't want to insure.

This pen isn't working.

- Sorry, I splashed it! - You soiled my dress!

If you had signed, we could have paid for the damage.

- You could have gotten 30-40,000 lire. - This costs 500,000 lire!

- It's pure linen! - The assessor will have to deal with it.

If you change your mind, call me. Goodbye... condolences.

- (Angela) See you at the diner. - (colleague) All right, see you later.

- And this evening? - Let's go see a movie.

Did your boss decide on the switchboard?

He took a new digital one: 46 internal lines.

There is a funny guy trying to say hi.

- Hello. - Ah! He's a friend.

- See you later. - Bye.

- Hello. - You're so elegant!

- These were flowers for you. - Thanks.

- Red carnations. - I love them.

I was passing this way... I wanted to see where you work.

- Did they take you to insurance? - No, because...

- Because? - They wanted a taller one.

However, I have interesting prospects for the future.

- Shall we take a walk? - I have to go back to the office.

- I only have 45 minutes for lunch. - I'll pay.

We'll find a restaurant, with an orchestra, something romantic.

I told you, I only have 45 minutes. Actually 44, now.

Come and eat with me, let's go.

- Thanks. - You are welcome.

- Do you like ham? - Very much.

- It's 3,850 lire. - But I didn't take anything.

Cover charge.

Angela, what should we get the boss for his birthday?

- Let's talk about it later. - I was saying...

- Angela, did you read that memo? - Yes and I disagree.

- What were you saying? - I met a girl I really like...

- Did you get the penne? May I? - Go ahead.

- You know her too. - Good, but there is too much chili.

- So, this girl? - I realized I loved her.

I fell in love, but unfortunately I have nothing to offer her...

- Can I bum a cigarette? - Do you mind?

Thanks.

- After all, I'm just a farmer. - What's wrong with that?

Nothing, but with a job I'd be more comfortable.

Will you open the bottle for me?

I have interesting prospects for the future and I will work hard.

I'm stubborn, you know what we farmers are like.

- Angela, can you pass me the pepper? - Here's the pepper.

I can find a way to settle down ... but what do you think?

Can I tell this girl that I fell in love with her?

- Yes, after all you're a handsome boy. - Well...

- You're nice! Also, you're honest. - Thanks.

If I were you, I would confess.

- Angela... - Ah, yes, I have to go.

You'll have to introduce me to this girl. Bye!

Maybe she didn't understand.

- Good morning. - Can I help you?

- I came for that job as a caretaker. - Uncle!

You must be patient, he has a bad temper.

I am a farmer.

- I have a lot of patience. - Come on, uncle.

Good morning.

- What does he do? - He must get to know you.

How ugly you are, the dog was better.

At least I don't poop on the street.

We'll see.

- Come on, I'll take you. - Forget it, I'm driving. Walk!

- Run, quick! Walk! - Ouch!

Walk straight! Quick!

He was a very intelligent dog, then one day he died.

Beaten with sticks?

- You're doing it on purpose! - Of course I do it on purpose!

- What time is it? - 18:15.

Let's go to the movies.

- You're blind, you can't go there. - You'll watch and explain it to me.

- What movie do you want to see? - "Erica's warm lips".

A film forbidden to minors.

- Where do they show it? - At the Fantasy theater.

- I don't know where it is. - I'll take you, come. Come!

Come with me, don't worry. Walk or we'll be late!

- Watch the tree. - I saw it, I'm not blind.

- So what's going on? - Now she... she's undressing.

- She's taking it all off. - Panties too?

Yup.

- How are the panties? - They're underpants.

- Are they briefs? - Yup.

Is the breast like this, like this or like this?

It's in front, it's a kind of like a melon.

- Split in two and placed on the breast. - Stop it!

- And under? - Below the breast is the navel.

- How is it? - Like a cherry.

- Enough, we're a theater! - What about the backside?

- It's like a... - How, how?

Like a watermelon split in two and put on the ass.

That's enough!

With this newspaper...

- Is there a newspaper? - No, the newspaper is in the back.

- Is the newspaper behind her? - No!

- Silence ! - A guy's coming...

- With a courgette, two tomatoes... - I don't care about the greengrocer.

- Now stop! - You don't understand, he's blind.

- Then this is no place for him. - So what is?

- I'll punch you in the nose! - Enough, I quit.

- How do I get home? - Use your memory.

Come here! Come here!

- Hello. - What are you doing?

Get the pump.

Today I thought that we could take a trip, on the lakes, in the hills.

We find a restaurant, with an orchestra, so we are together.

Are you crazy? Do you know what day it is?

Sunday.

- What happens today? - The Mass?

- The match! There's Inter-Juve! - You want to go to the stadium?

- Where else would you like to go? - Actually...

- Don't you care about football? - Actually, as a boy...

We do stupid things as kids, but now you support Juve like me!

Okay, I support Juve.

- What are you doing with those flowers? - For you.

Get the flag.

- Show it well. - Yes.

- Get up, get up. - Should I stand?

Yes, on your feet! Shout!

- Long live Juve! - Long live Juve!

(together) Juve, Juve, Juve!

Juve! Juve!

- Juve! Juve! Juve! - Juve! Juve!

(fans) Inter! Inter!

You know, that girl I was telling you about...

She is not just any girl, you know.

That girl... it's you. I've fallen in love with you.

If that's okay with you, let me understand. Give me a sign.

- I'm shy, I have to understand... - Yes!

- Referee, it was offside! - What are you talking about?

- Shut up, stupid. - Hey, scoundrel!

- You don't talk to a young lady like that! - What's that got to do with you?

Ouch, my hand!

No!

There!

You and your Juve!

(fans) Inter! Inter!

- It went badly. - Don't get upset, I understand.

Let's take a ride up the hills, to a restaurant with an orchestra.

What orchestra? What do I care about orchestras?

Sorry, but when Juve loses I don't want to do anything.

I feel like slapping someone.

- Then I'll take the tram home. - Good, this is not a good time.

- Yes, bye. - Talk to you later.

- Don't get angry. - No, no.

The flag! Angela, the flag! You forgot the flag!

He's with Juve! Let's kill him, come on!

It's not mine, it's a friend of mine's. I don't give a damn about football!

The van! Thief!

The window!

Excuse me, would you swap your bucket for any two?

- Oh yeah. - Stop! Scratch that.

Have you gone mad? Didn't you read the script?

- You must say no! - I haven't read the script,

but it doesn't take a genius to see this is a favorable exchange.

No, you have to say no!

Wouldn't he change his 1,000 lire for 2,000 mine?

You are not paid to think, you have to advertise.

For 100,000 lire do I have to look like an idiot?

Shut up, just say the line on the script. Okay?

From the top!

- Yup.

Excuse me, would you swap your bucket for any two?

I would, but that guy doesn't want to.

I can't do it, find someone more stupid.

That's enough! Get him out!

Here's the coffee.

One moment!

Coming.

One moment, I'm coming.

Coming, coming.

- Hello? < It's Angela.

Hello.

Why weren't you answering?

I was on the far end of the apartment.

How are you? I haven't heard from you in a long time.

- I've been looking for work. - Did you find it?

No, but I have interesting prospects for the future.

- It's Sunday, do you have plans? - No, do you want to go and see Juve?

No, the season is over.

- Why don't you come here? - I'll come right away... yes, right away.

If one has a sincere feeling, he must confess it.

If anything, she will say no. Why would she ever say no?

- Is Miss Angela here? - It's me!

I didn't recognize you!

You arrived early. Excuse me while I go tidy myself up.

- You take a look at the terrace. - All right.

Scots pine.

Vidal.

- Artemio. - Yes?

Angela...

- Have you seen the plants? - What plants?

- These. - Ah, yes, beautiful.

Yes, but they are a bit neglected. I don't have time to care for them,

so you came to mind. You're a peasant, you're good with this.

And most of all, you're a friend.

So you called me because of the plants?

Yes, does it bother you? If so, tell me.

Excuse me for a moment.

- Hello. < (woman) Are you home on a Sunday?

- I had no plans. < We're having a little party.

- Who's coming? < Giorgio, Fabio and his girlfriend...

This needs to be tied there.

< Then there's Elena and her sisters, the very nice ones from Turin.

< Are you coming? - I don't know if I can, I have a guest.

< You have a man? Brava! - No, he's a friend. Artemio.

< The peasant? - Yes, he came for the flowers.

- Can I bring him too? < Sure.

I'll ask him.

He's gone, maybe he got offended, he didn't say goodbye.

< What did you expect from a peasant?

< So are you coming? - I'll get dressed and be on my way.

Angela.

Angela! Angela!

You locked yourself in.

Angela... you locked yourself in!

Angela, you locked yourself in!

It's raining here, what's the weather like inside?

Don't worry, if it's a thief I'll beat him up. Open.

It's still him!

Artemio, what were you doing there?

I was expecting you... but I was not expecting him.

- Did you have fun? - Yes.

It was very lively, with so many nice people.

Too bad you didn't come.

If I knew, I wouldn't have stayed on the terrace.

Right.

- There were a lot of girls. - Boys too?

- Sure. - Platini too?

No, he wasn't there.

- I'm sorry to bother you. - I'm the one who must apologize.

- Here, you are dry. - Thanks.

- What are you doing? - I'll get dressed and go home.

- With wet clothes? - It's raining outside!

No way. You'll stay here.

- Here? - Yes.

Yes... I sleep so well on the sofa anyway.

Wouldn't you like to sleep with me?

- In your bed? - Yes, come.

Why are you locking the door?

I don't want the blacksmith to come back.

- Does it bother you if I sleep like this? - You're shy, aren't you?

A little.

Tell me the truth, what are you thinking about?

I thought this rain must be very good for the fields.

Come closer, I want to know something.

What?

Do you prefer light or dark?

- To sleep in the dark. - Don't pretend you don't understand.

Listen, weren't you in love with another girl?

- What girl? - The one you always told me about.

That's you, didn't you notice?

Yes, I understood it, but I wanted to hear it.

Mrs. Giovanna, come! It's a long distance call!

I'm coming!

- I'm here. - Here.

Hello, Artemio? It's me, how are you?

Well, I have important news: I want to get engaged.

With Maria Rosa? He's getting engaged to Maria Rosa!

- Congratulations! - Bravo, I'm happy.

- Love, you've made up your mind! - Who's talking?

- Your Maria Rosa. - Go away, give me my mother!

He doesn't seem so convinced.

- You changed your mind already? - Mom, you don't understand.

I want to get engaged to the graduate!

The whore! I think that's a stupid thing to do!

Maria Rosa loves you!

The cheapest engagement ring that costs 120 thousand lire,

but despite my interesting prospects, I have not found a job

send me a money order.

Are you mad? 120 thousand lire can buy you a 300kg sow!

Am I supposed to give a sow to my fiancee?

I have no money, I have spent everything to buy a tractor.

- What do I do then? - You wanted to do your own thing.

Did you leave the countryside to go to the city?

Now go figure it out for yourself!

- Brava! - Well said!

- Brava! - Well said!

Brava! Well done, Giovanna!

I'd like to give blood, is it here?

May I? I came to give blood.

Take off your jacket and lie down there.

Doctor? Get on the bed.

- How much do you pay for blood per liter? - 40 thousand.

Take three liters.

Coming!

- Artemio! - Hello.

- What are you doing here at 8 AM? - I have a surprise for you.

Take a seat.

I'll finish my makeup. I have to be in the office in ten minutes.

Is something wrong? You look a little pale.

- Must be be a little anemia. - I'll come right away.

- Holy hell! - Have you lost something?

- The stone. - From the lighter?

No, from the ring.

You'll find it when you clean up, so...

- What's this? - The engagement ring.

- What engagement? - Ours.

I'd like the wedding date to be September 22nd.

That way I'll have time to find a job.

Is it not good? Do you want to move it earlier?

Artemio, I'm not someone who gets married.

I am not good for marriage, home, children.

These are things I don't understand, I don't even think about them.

After what happened between us?

Just sleeping with you once means I should commit myself forever?!

Were you sleeping?

Try to understand me, I need my freedom.

People do those crazy things at 18, I'm 26!

- Right, do you want to stay a spinster? - I think so. What?

- Then you don't love me. - What's that got to do with it?

- Do you love me or not? - Yes.

You're nice, funny, I like you,

we can meet in the evening if we are free...

For example, I'm going to the Canary Islands in August. Wanna come?

What? Did I upset you? Did you get sad?

I'm not sad. You're right, Angela,

better have a free, more modern relationship, without too many ties.

We'll see each other when we meet, we stay together if we can,

without too many problems, without too many sentimental ties.

Life is a beautiful thing, we only have one. We have to enjoy it.

Are you crazy?

- The water's gone! - You could have killed me!

- I want to kill myself! - Stop, calm down!

Let me go! I pay my taxes and I have the right to die!

Nobody has the right to die, life is sacred, irreplaceable.

If there are problems, they must be solved with reason.

You have to understand this girl you told me about.

- How can she marry someone like you? - Am I that ugly?

That's not important.

She doesn't feel the security, she wants a solid man,

someone who could give her financial peace of mind.

For example, you could invite her on a cruise, buy her a mink coat,

- A custom car? - No.

When I was penniless like you, I fell in love with a girl

she didn't want to marry me.

But when I started doing well for myself,

she said yes. Look.

You have to get busy, my dear!

I've been trying for two months,

but I couldn't even kill myself!

You know what? I like you.

- Would you be with me? - What do you mean?

What did you understand? I'm talking about business!

- I want to give you a chance. - Chance?

- Are you glad that I'll give you a chance? - Yes... eh!

I just don't know where to put it. Is it bulky?

It means a chance to work!

- Ah! - Would you like to get into trading?

Yes, I've always enjoyed trading, but no stolen stuff!

Regularly paid!

I buy wholesale, you retail.

- You can start tomorrow too. - What is it about?

- (softly) Weed. - Excuse me?

- Weed. - Should I go back to being a farmer?

No, stuff for the kids.

Retail sales outside of the schools.

I do not understand.

Are you pretending or are you really an asshole?

We'll sell marijuana.

- Drugs? - Yeah!

You didn't let me die in the water, only to drown me in shit?

I should sell drugs to kids?

Don't scream!

You think you can make money and stay clean?

That's right: I want to stay clean inside and out!

There's dirt under your white clothes! You all make me sick!

You too.

- You three too! - Is he crazy?

- She disgusts me most of all! - Are you talking to me?

He's crazy! He's a drug addict! That's what I get for helping him!

I saved him from the waters, he's in shock.

Go to hell, you and your city!

You didn't accept me, you spat in my face!

I'll reciprocate, I'll spit on you and your cars!

You stole everything from me!

My suitcase, my love, my hopes...

Sorry.

How's your water and oil?

I understand, what's the last job you had?

The last job... I donated blood.

- Blood? To whom? - I don't know, does it matter?

Forget it. Why are you dressed like this?

I came to Milan, they took my tractor away,

I was a night watchman, I fell in love... it's a long story.

Since it's long, and I don't have time or desire to listen to it.

You have no residence permit, you have no job and no money,

We'll send her back to your village. Here's your expulsion paper.

- Do I really have to leave? - Yes.

Couldn't you turn a blind eye?

- I'm sorry, Mr. Pirate. - Go away! Go away!

- Actually, I didn't want to... - Go away!

I didn't mean that!

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

Good morning. Are you a tourist?

- I'm Maria Rosa. - Maria Rosa?

I didn't recognize you, you became a beautiful...

- You no longer have pimples. - The cream worked wonders.

Indeed.

- Will you take me out tonight? - Sure!

Excuse me for a moment.

Artemio!

- Hi. - Hi.

It was so hard to find you! Nobody knows your village.

- It's a bit isolated. - Who is she?

- A friend. - A friend?

- A friend of my mom's. - Ah!

- That wasn't a nice thing to do. - What did I do?

You're gone, not even a phone call, a note...

I came back home.

I went to your residence yesterday, there was a registered letter.

- It's insurance. - I'm not insured.

No! It's for the exam you took, they accepted you.

They say you were original and full of initiative.

Artemio, aren't you happy I came to see you?

- Are you staying for a bit? - I'm leaving for the Canary Islands.

I took a detour, but I have a flight in 55 minutes.

- Then you won't stay. - No.

But we have to meet when I get back to town .

I have so many things to tell you!

I've thought a lot about you, about your proposal.

After all, I'm a lonely woman...

I might even change my mind about marriage.

I have no more time, I have to run!

It's decided, then! I'll see you.

Talk to you later! Move, come on!

Artemio, who was that?

- A friend. - A friend?

A friend of Platini's.

- What about this letter? - Nothing... advertising.

The usual advertising.

I don't want to work anymore today. There's a nice place with an orchestra.

How nice!

- I have a new car, do you like it? - Very much!

It's a Farina body Spider!

God bless you, farmer.

God bless you

You're strong because...

You're richer than a king

Around you, farmer.

AND THEY FARMED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

Around you

colors, and up above...

a blue-painted sky

Big shoes, but you have your freedom

You're a king

Golden ears of wheat shining for you

You're a king

Sunshine and fantasy, rain and happiness

You're a king

You choose fields of lilac over there

You're a king

God bless you, farmer.

God bless you.

You don't have a kingdom but...

Who's richer than you?

You're a king

You're a king

You're a king

You're a king

You're a king

You're a king