All language subtitles for Lost.In.Austen.S01E01

It is a truth generally acknowledged
that we are all longing to escape.

I escape always to my favourite book,
Pride And Prejudice.

I've read it so many times now

the wordsjust say themselves in my head

and it's like a window opening.

It's like I'm actually there.

It's become a place I know
so...intimately.

I can see that world, I can...touch it.

I can see Darcy.

Whoa, Amanda!

Now, where was I?

I have no right
to complain about my life.

I want this account... de-jointed, yeah?
I want her name gone.

I mean, it's the same for everybody.

- And I...I do what we all do.
- Did you get a suck?

Do you want a slap?

I take it on the chin,

and patch myself up with Jane Austen.

Ow!

I know I sound like this...
terrible loser.

I mean, I do actually have a boyfriend.

It'sjust...sometimes I'd rather stay in
with Elizabeth Bennet.

- Piranha! I thought you weren't here.
- I'm not. Michael coming round?

No.

- Why isn't he coming round?
- Boys' night.

- He'll be round after that.
- No, he won't. I've told him not to.

I have plans that involve nobody except
me. ie, not you either. So go away.

- How do I look?
- You put your lipstick on by eating it.

This is as good as it gets.

"You are mistaken, Mr Darcy,

"if you suppose that the mode of your
declaration affected me in any other way

"than as it spared me the concern

"which I might have felt
in refusing you...

"...had you behaved
in a more gentleman-like manner."

(Doorbell buzzes)

(Man on TV) I've lost count
of the number of passes up to now.

(Second man) Yeah, they're really
taking charge of the midfield.

I just want to read my book.

(Football commentary continues)

What are you doing?

- Is this you proposing to me?
- (Burps)

Yeah.

You're drunk.

Marry me, babes.

Make an honest woman of me.

You have no idea, do you,
quite how unromantic that is?

- (Woman talking on TV)
- (Snoring)

(Clattering)

- (Clicking and rattling)
- Piranha?

(Woman whispering)

- (Clunk)
- (Woman) Ow!

(Woman mutters)

This is most extraordinary.

But I beg you, Miss Spencer,
to entertain my explanation of it,

for it will be truthful,
if a little intractable to believe.

There is a door, Miss Spencer, in
the attic portion of my father's house,

which is a place unvisited
except by servants and myself.

Were this door to open, it would give
upon the empty air four storeys high,

for there is no room beyond.

It is a door entirely without sense.

One may not pass through it,
try as one might, until this day,

for you, Miss Spencer,
have opened this door for me.

You are the key.

What makes you think
my name is Spencer?

It is tailored in your underthings.

My name is Price, Amanda Price.

How do you do, Miss Price?
I am Elizabeth...

- Bennet.
- Bennet. Yes, I know.

- (Michael) Mands?
- Just a minute!

(Michael) Sweet?

OK, Elizabeth Bennet in my bathroom.

- (Phone ringing)
- Clearly I'm hallucinating.

Why? Too much Austen?

My mother would say
not enough boyfriend.

He doesn't take drugs,
he doesn't knock you about.

This place is a mess.

It's called redecorating.
It's what women my age do

when they get divorced.

It's like sex, only you can stop
for a cup of tea and a biscuit.

- Give me a cigarette.
- Mm-mm, no.

You're telling me who I have to marry.

I'm reminding you, Amanda,
that you are what you are.

If you waste your life pretending
to be something else, you'll regret it.

- I don't trust him, Mum.
- He had it off with a waitress...

- Two nights running.
...but he's a man.

He has appetites.

I have this conversation with Piranha on
a regular basis, and she never gets it.

I'm not hung up about Darcy.

I do not sit at home with the pause
button and Colin Firth in clingy pants.

I love...

the love story.

I love Elizabeth.

I love... the manners

and the language...

and the courtesy.

It's become part of who I am
and what I want.

I'm saying, Mum, that I have standards.

Well, you have standards, pet.

I hope they help you on with your coat
when you're 70.

"I, who have valued myself
on my abilities...

"who have often disdained
the generous candour of my sister..."

"...and we are engaged."

"It is settled between us already,

"that we are to be
the happiest couple in the world."

(Clicking)

- (Clicks)
- (Gasps and chuckles)

(Gasps) Is this not astonishing?

Were such a thing at my disposal,

I should do little else but toy with it
all day.

Miss Bennet. I think I may be
having a nervous breakdown.

You see,

I am a real person

and you are a pretend person.

- You are the creation of Jane Austen.
- I am not acquainted with this person.

You are a character in a book.

This one, written by her 200 years ago.

It grieves me, Miss Price, that
I must presume to dispute with you.

I have my fleshly envelope,

as you yours.

Tell me something
I couldn't possibly know. Please.

A piece of information that simply
doesn't exist in my brain. Just do it.

- Netherfield Park is let.
- No, no, I know that.

The news was fetched only this morning.
I have told no one but Lady Ambrosia.

I know about Mr Darcy, everything.

But you don't. You haven't met him yet.

OK, something else. Please.

The part of Russian America
that most intrudes into the Arctic Sea

is called Point Barrow.

I have never heard of Russian America.

It occupies the northernmost territory
in the west of the Americas.

- But that's Alaska.
- I've never heard of Alaska.

Show me the door, Miss Bennet.

That's not a door. I mean, it could have
been a door but it's part of the wall.

It's got all the pipey stuff
behind there, the plumbing.

Yet it is the way I entered.

(Door creaks)

I don't understand.

Nor I, Miss Price.

But this is assuredly my house.

- (Birds cooing)
- (Flutter of wings)

- Huh!
- (Footsteps)

(Door opens)

(Door rattles)

Sorry, Miss, but are you dining tonight?

Mr Bennet likes to know
what number to expect at table.

Please advise Mr Bennet
that I will be down... directly.

I was just, um... Iooking for him.

Yes, ma'am.

Whom shall I say has given
the master this message, ma'am?

A friend of Miss Elizabeth.

(Gasping)

OK, this is seriously weird
and I want to go home.

Elizabeth. Elizabeth!

(Gasping)

- (Piano plays and cutlery clatters)
- (Mrs Bennet) Oh, Lydia.

(Lydia) I have said if I am to be
received at Netherfield,

I shall dress in silk, so I shall!

(Mrs Bennet) Lydia, as your father has
civilly declined to call on Mr Bingley,

the notion of such an excursion
is entirely fanciful.

- (Piano continues)
- (Door slams)

(Conversation continues, indistinct)

(Sighs)

Aaaah!

Split my windpipe! I mean, good heavens.

Forgive me.

But the noise in this... palace of lunacy
is more than a reading man can bear.

(Sighs)

- So you are...
- (Mrs Bennet squeaks)

...Elizabeth's friend.

Yes. Amanda Price.

- (Piano playing starts)
- Sir.

How marvellous to have
the society of ladies

who are not promiscuous with speech.

Allow me to introduce myself across
the wasteland of the servants' stairs.

I am Elizabeth's father, Claude Bennet.

Claude? You're kidding.

It exposed me to some comments,
but it was the name my parents chose.

- (Piano playing continues)
- (Chatter)

(Door closes)

(Gasps)

So you are not a local person,
Miss Price?

I rent in Hammersmith.
It's an area of London.

I have driven through a pleasant place
that bears the name,

- but it was some miles from London.
- It would have been.

And you are acquainted with Lizzy how?

Known Elizabeth for years.

Until yesterday I had not heard of you.

It is possible she made many speeches
on the subject and I had merely forgot.

Old age, Miss Price.
I find I cannot recommend it.

(Mrs Bennet wails)

- My wife.
- (Door slams)

Lizzy has told you
about our thrilling new neighbour?

- Mr Bingley?
- Pleasant enough. Not strong on brains.

I called on Bingley this forenoon.
I haven't told my wife that.

But she enjoys the suspense.

We really are right at the beginning,
aren't we?

You do make the most refreshingly
elliptical conversation, Miss Price.

So Lizzy has gone
to Hammersmith to see you,

but you have come to Longbourn
to see her.

You will forgive me for observing that
the arrangement seems to have a flaw.

(Sighs)

- Oh, dear, are you quite well?
- I do feel a bit... unusual.

- Might I go back upstairs?
- Of course.

We can dissect this matter further
on the morrow.

Take Lizzy's bed.
She claims it is tolerable soft.

- Sleep well in it.
- Thank you.

Hm.

(Mrs Bennet) Well, I call it perverse.

- Mr Bingham's here...
- (Lydia) Bingley, Mama.

...and your father, what kind of...

(Mrs Bennet) I said Bingley.
(Lydia) You said Bingham.

(Mrs Bennet) If you contradict me,
you will go to your room.

(Lydia) I'm as likely to meet a husband
there as anywhere in this house.

(Mrs Bennet) Oh, Lydia,
sit down at once! Mr Bennet!

(Mr Bennet) Oh, am I here?

Elizabeth.

- Miss Price.
- Oh!

- I did not mean to startle you.
- No, no, no, it's, um...

Papa sent us to see that you knew
Lizzy's room, but clearly you're...

Yes! Thank you.

You're... Kitty, aren't you?

And you're... Mary. I've read so much
about you, I feel I know you.

- Read?
- Heard.

Talking to Elizabeth, who is my...

(Whispers)... friend.

Is there anything we can get you,
Miss Price? A dish of faggots?

All right for faggots, thank you.

I think I'll just, um...

...go to sleep.

Right.

- (Door creaks)
- (Kitty and Mary giggle)

(Door closes)

- (Departing footsteps)
- (Giggling)

(Beeping)

(Failed call tone)

(Birdsong)

(Mrs Bennet) Oh! Mr Bennet!

- (Sighs)
- (Mrs Bennet wails)

Lend me your handkin, Lizzy.

(Gasps) Oh!

- You're Miss Price of Hammersmith.
- Yes.

I thought you felt funny. I often get
into bed with Lizzy in the night.

She strokes my back
when it's time to wake.

Oh, I'm Lydia, by the way.

I know.

What preparation do you use
for your hair? It's most pungent.

OK, look, I've had enough of this.

What's the deal here?
Are we live on cable or something?

Is this like the Jim Carrey thing,
but period? Where are the cameras?

Well, come on!
What are you after, guys?

A bit of girl-on-girl action
under the covers?

What do I have to do
to get out of here? Snog her?

Show you my pubes?

What have you done to yourself?

That's called a landing strip, Lydia.

Standard... pubic topiary.

(Clucking)

The fit of her britches is
extraordinary.

The britches are as nothing,
but an hour...

- Good morning.
- Good morning, Miss Price.

- Did you sleep?
- I did. Thank you.

Please, sit here next to me.

I'm Jane. My sisters
I think you've already met.

There is chocolate
and green tea and marmalade,

for which Hill makes exceptional toast.

(Miss Bennet wails)

I'm sorry we cannot offer you
anything more amusing.

It all sounds... heavenly.

Your tunic, Miss Price,
it is what is worn in town this season?

- I think it very fine.
- Kitty, you are importunate.

I am starved of fashion, is all.

This is... otter-hunting kit.

(Laughter)

Goodness! Are otters
routinely hunted in Hammersmith?

Oh, yes.

The belt therefore is
for the attachment of knives?

Absolutely. My proper clothes
are... you know, coming.

I shouldn't bother. In this house,
we may as well take the veil.

All Papa has to do, Jane, is call
on Mr Bingley. It's not arduous.

Yet to punish us being
flibbertigibbets, he will not.

- I think you'll find that...
- (Mrs Bennet wails)

- Um...
- (Mrs Bennet) Oh, Mr Bennet!

My mother, Miss Price,
is a little indisposed this morning.

I'm sorry to hear that.

- She suffers from her nerves.
- Yes.

- Have you met my mother?
- I've, um...

yet to have that pleasure.

- (Horse neighs outside)
- Oh!

- Who's that?
- He sits his horse well.

I'll tell you exactly who that is.

Oh, Mr Bingley.

It is unutterably kind of you to call.

Common courtesy, madam,
neighbours... so forth.

Ah, Bingley.
Welcome, sir, to the asylum.

What, finished already?
You have devoured Rousseau apace.

I found him eminently digestible.

- You gentlemen are acquainted?
- We've known each other hours.

We lend each other books.
It is practically a marriage.

That's Mrs Bennet!

- You did not say, Mr Bennet.
- I lacked the opportunity.

Mr Bingley,
and, yes, he's looking at Jane.

(Mr Bennet) If you've words to say
in this house, speak 'em up sharp.

Now let us sort the sheep
from the goats.

My daughters Jane, Mary, Kitty, Lydia.

Elizabeth, the very goatiest,
is not here.

In her stead we have Miss Amanda Price.

Oh. Charmed.

Charmed.

- Miss Price is of Hammersmith.
- Really?

- Excellent fox-hunting country, I hear.
- Well furnished with otters.

- Shush.
- Undoubtedly.

Elizabeth is presently
to be found disporting

in the otter-strewn thoroughfares
of Hammersmith.

Miss Price will explain.

(CIock ticking)

Lizzy's gone to my place.

She's, um...

as it were...

trying to write a book.

Mm, a novel.

She's tried to write it here,

but she finds the life
of the house distracting.

My place, it seemed logical that she
should dig in there for a day or two.

Get something down on paper.

She intimated to me
she would be gone for weeks.

Did she? Well...

anyway, we've...

done a sort of swap.

She's there and I'm, um... here.

But why, Mr Bennet,
at such a time like this with...

Lizzy begs your forgiveness for not
explaining these plans more thoroughly.

I... I think she wanted it to be a...

you know, surprise.

I call it a marvellous idea, writin'.
All in favour of that.

Mr Bingley.

Are you at all disposed
to join the dancing

tomorrow night at the assembly rooms?

(Bingley) Royally disposed, Mrs Bennet.

I've summoned hordes of friends
from London. Quite a party.

- (Amanda) He means Darcy.
- Did you hear this?

One that could only be enhanced
should you consent to join it.

(Chatter and laughter)

All of you.

Too kind, sir,
but I must beg to be excused.

Large gatherings of society
bring me out in hives...

- Oh.
...as do small gatherings.

Stop looking at me, Bingley.
Look at Jane.

It is a pity that Miss Price's
portmanteau has failed to appear.

We must endeavour
to furnish her with clothes

that are a little less
provoking of attention.

It's all so exciting.

(Chuckles) Lizzy made this for herself.

It's lovely.

What are you thinking, Miss Bennet?

I'm thinking how pretty you shall be
for Mr Bingley tomorrow.

Never mind the Bingley,
bring on the Darcy.

He's the one we want to see.

You know this gentleman
to be part of Mr Bingley's party?

I'm guessing out loud. Terrible habit.

(Chuckles)

I must say, Mr Bingley
seemed a very nice man.

- He'd be a good person to marry.
- Mm.

I'd quite like to clean my teeth.
Is that possible?

Of course.

The instruments
are all ready before you.

See, I've brought birch twigs, powdered
salt and a fresh block of chalk.

Right. Thank you. Mm.

Splendid.

Are we going to church?

Does it have architectural merit?

Probably not. But I doubt
that's the point of attendance.

What is to be done with my brother,
Mr Darcy? He has doubts.

A gentleman knows God believes in him.

It is his duty to return the compliment.

Well, I, however, desire the compliment
of your sitting down with me.

You would rather stand in church

and have all of the local womanhood
fall in love with you.

How we look forward to meeting
these fascinating Bennets and Prices

at tomorrow's ball.

- Caroline.
- You must play cards with your sister.

- (Bell chiming)
- Oh...

Poor Charles.

Do you have a Psalter, Miss Price?

Er... is that like a picnic thing
for seasoning sandwiches?

More for the recitation of Psalms.

Not on me.

How kind. Huh!

Mm.

Look, you have to tell me.

Has there been anyone else like me
turning up here?

Like you, Miss Price?

Bit odd, talks funny,
doesn't know how things operate.

Not really.

I thought for a minute
you were wearing contact lenses.

How do you get those... ringlets?

By the application of hot irons.

I'd be delighted to arrange yours
if you'd let me.

No. I may be losing grip on reality,
but I'm still in control of my hair.

- Ow!
- Sorry. Just checking.

What's a sandwich?

- Mr Collins is a parson.
- Our father's cousin. He owns us.

Longbourn is entailed to him.

Were Papa to die, Mr Collins
could put us out like that.

Therefore must we marry
to be forearmed against the worst.

I should have thought Lizzy
might have told you about Mr Collins.

She talks of little else
to that fat old sow Ambrosia.

- Oh...
- We've never met him, of course.

He might be tremendously handsome.

I wouldn't get your hopes up.

Do you expect to receive
an offer of marriage, Miss Price?

- Matter of fact, I just had one.
- No!

- What reply did you make?
- I turned him down.

Well, I didn't believe he loved me.

(Low chatter)

- Kitty, pass me your kneeler.
- Why?

You must forgive my accosting you thus
but we have not been presented.

- You're Charlotte Lucas.
- You see you've utterly beguiled me.

Kitty here tells me, "That lady
is Lizzy's friend Miss Price,"

and I'm at once consumed with jealousy

for Lizzy has never told me of you
yet you know my name before it is said.

Wherefore did Lizzy neglect to tell me
about this book?

I never knew her start it.

Well, she didn't confide in me either.
Originally.

I myself got it from somebody else.

Worse and worse.

Wicked Lizzy offends us both.

Who told you of the book?

Er... Lady Ambrosia.

How... characteristically eccentric
of our friend to have confided in her,

but odder still for Ambrosia
to have discussed it with you.

Lady Ambrosia is, after all,
a corpulent female pig.

(Snorts) What sort of trick
is this, Miss Lucas?

What sort of trick are you, Miss Price?

(Organ plays hymn)

It vexes me exceptionally

that Elizabeth should choose
to be abroad at such a time as this.

And Hammersmith, Mr Bennet.

Is... is Hammersmith
a likely sort of place?

I was not aware it was abroad,

but I salute your superior
command of geography.

Ah.

We are arrived, Miss Price,
at a particularly fine prospect.

(Gasps) Netherfield Park.

According to disposition one can marvel
at the delicate masonry of the windows

or thrill to the wealth of the tenant.

I learned in church from Mrs Lucas
that chiefest among Mr Bingley's guests

is Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy, of Pemberley.

I have attended the disclosure

with the reverence befitting
all your utterances, my dear.

Now kindly explain it to me.

(Mrs Bennet) Darcy!

- Pemberley! Why, 10,000 a year!
- 10,000!

My joy, accordingly, is unconfined.

Jane, it appears you must now marry
Mr Darcy instead of Mr Bingley.

It is not presently my plan,
sir, to marry either gentleman.

No, but it is your mother's
so choose your hymns.

What say you, Miss Price?
Shall Jane be wedded to this Mr Darcy?

Oh, Kitty, you are overstimulated!

But Miss Price is quite Delphic, Mother.
She prefigures all.

I have no idea. Perhaps it is
Elizabeth who shall be married.

Elizabeth's not here.

- (Birdsong)
- (Crow caws)

Elizabeth. Elizabeth!

I am not... you.

You should be here.

Oh!

There's going to be a ball.

At the ball you meet Darcy.

You have to meet Darcy.
Do you understand?

You have to meet him, Elizabeth.
It's what happens.

- (Wild screeches)
- (Owl hooting)

Oh, I'm so looking forward
to the prospect of Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy.

- I hate a man with too much money.
- Mary!

That's very modern, and I daresay
very clever, but you will oblige me.

Last-minute lippy, for luck.

It's all the rage in Hammersmith.

This evening, Miss Bennet,
make sure you dance with Mr Bingley.

It's important.

Miss Price, you... you really
are alarming. Explain your meaning.

I can't. I don't know
what will happen if I do.

I'm just saying tonight
is supposed to be fun.

So have a lovely time,

with Bingley.

Let's get to work.

- (♪ Folk dance music)
- Girls!

Oh, it's a post.

Ladies! How very splendid you all look.

I'm so pleased you've come.

(Dancers clapping in time)

Will you excuse me, Mr Bingley?

I think we all feel
it would have been preferable

had Miss Price remained
in Hammersmith

rather than perplexing us here
with her radical manners.

I disagree cordially, Mrs Bennet.

I find your guest... refreshing.

- (Cheering)
- (Music ends)

- Thank you. What is this, wine?
- Punch, madam.

Oh, no, don't go away.

Bit thirsty. Hm!

Miss Price, allow me
to introduce Miss Bingley.

(Coughing)

(Clears throat) How do you do?

I am not choking, which must
be counted in one's favour.

You're Charles's sister.

One cannot deny the accusation,

however unused to being defined
in terms of one's brother.

No accusation, Caroline.
Your brother's a gentleman.

- Miss, um...
- Lucas.

Lucas tells me you're come up
from town, Miss Price.

- Hammersmith.
- Oh.

Miss Price, you are quite flushed.

Another refreshing glass, perhaps?

- Ooh.
- We're both in a dream, Miss Price.

More than you know, Mr Bingley.

Now we have collided so fortuitously,

may I beg the honour
of the next excursion?

You want to dance? Oh, er...
I'm afraid that's, um... not possible.

- You cannot dance a quadrille?
- I cannot dance a quadrille.

Then it shall be my happy duty
to educate you.

Alas, that unrewarding task
has been claimed by another.

- Another?
- Mm-hm.

I fear there may have to be a duel.
Who is to be your dancing master?

- Name the dog.
- (Amanda) Don't say it.

Mr Darcy.

- Darcy?
- (Amanda) You said it.

Are you certain you have that aright,
Miss Price?

Darcy!

Darcy!

A most grievous slur
has been cast upon your character.

Miss Price says she won't dance with
me because you've already asked her.

- Yes.
- Yes? What fresh lunacy is this, sir?

You've never lifted a hoof
to dance in your life.

Until this evening,
I'd not had the honour

of being acquainted with Miss Price.

This is an event of some significance,
Miss Price. Quite unprecedented.

He regards forms of sudden locomotion
as emblematic of ill breeding.

Hunting, tennis,
rising precipitately from a chair.

When Miss Price and I dance,
there shall be nothing sudden.

I can't dance... this sort of dance.

Nor I. Together
we shall make a shambles.

But we shall do it with such authority
they will stare at us to learn the step.

Madam?

- Oh, um...
- Oh.

(Music starts)

(Giggles)

I don't know what to say.

Fortunately,
we are obliged only to dance.

Look at Miss Price dancing.

(Bennet girls giggle)

Why did you say yes?

To spare my friend
the humiliation you contrived for him.

I didn't seek to humiliate Mr Bingley.

Then your refusal to dance with him
was most ill-adapted to its purpose.

(Music ends)

(Amanda) I'm drunk. I need a fag.

I've got one fag.

Everything I do is wrong. Everything.

Please, God, I want to go home.

You even breathe fire.

(Snorts)

Oh, gosh!

(Gasps)

- Miss Price, I...
- Mr Bingley...

How can I begin?

You and I, we come from...
very different worlds,

more different than
you could possibly imagine.

Miss Price...

In my world, Mr Bingley,

all I ever do is dream
about the loveliness of your world...

(Chuckles)

...the stately, elegant rituals

and pace of courtship,

of lovemaking, as you call it,
under the gaze of chaperones,

of happiness against all odds,

and... and marriage.

Here I am,

I talk to you for two minutes,

I kiss you and you... you...

So I'm a little...

disappointed in myself, Mr Bingley.

I feel like those guys
who discovered that Stone Age tribe,

then gave them the common cold,

wiped them out.

Miss Price, I...

(Sneezes) Oh!

No doubt, Miss Bingley,

you and your brother find
these young provincial gentlemen

lacking in metropolitan refinement?

Oh, the young gentlemen we find the acme
of particularity and taste.

It is the ladies of the country
whose crassness is unparalleled.

As the mother of many daughters

you must find it wearying
to have to lead by example.

I do, Miss Bingley. I do!

Miss Price, a word.

According to the laws
of Christian hospitality, Miss Price,

I may not turn you out of my house.

Instead, I shall favour you
with a warning.

I do not know how a person like you
comes to be so friend-like with Lizzy.

I fear your influence on her.

But as to my other daughters
who remain in my care, hear this.

- Do not obstruct them.
- I promise you...

It is not necessary for you to speak.
Just listen.

Do not obstruct any one of them
in her quest for a propitious marriage.

If you do and my estate
is lost because of it,

something may come of you,
Miss Price, like a thief in the night,

which may not be quite so agreeable.

Well, you're a real ball-breaker.
Sorry, you don't know what that...

I understand the sense of your speech
well enough, Miss Price.

Do you understand mine?

(Low chatter)

I would dance but it's impossible.

- The carriage fills with freezing air.
- Shh!

- Oh!
- (Laughter)

(Amanda) Elizabeth!

It's all going...

completely... tits-up.

Bingley couldn't even
see Jane under his...

Oh! Elizabeth!

Open this door!

(Sighs)

(Rustling)

(Amanda) "My dear father,

"I pray you, sir,
not to trouble your mind

"about your most headstrong daughter.

"I quite flourish in Hammersmith.

"I am minded to sojourn here
alone a while."

Er..."alone" is underlined.

"If I might be so presumptuous
as to offer advice to my own father,

"then I would admonish him to pay
particular attention... to Miss Price.

"She is intimately acquainted
with the doings of our family,

"and I cordially believe her to be
its most devoted and formidable ally.

"Trust her.
Your affectionate daughter, Elizabeth."

When Lizzy was ten years old,
I taught her to fly a kite.

She soon mastered it.

She stood between my arms...

in front of me,

and took the strain.

I believe she has taken it ever since.

But as for my trust,

you have it.

A rare thing, Miss Price,
but Kitty was quite right.

- You are oracular.
- Hm-hm!

You prophesied Mr Darcy
would attend the ball and he duly came.

Did he prove equal
to your expectations?

Yes. And no.

I mean, he's not Colin Firth.

But even Colin Firth isn't Colin Firth.

They had to change the shape
of his head with make-up.

But, no, Mr Darcy
was pretty spectacularly unfriendly

but that's what one would expect.

Physically, he fills
his britches pretty well,

but he doesn't, you know, float my boat.

All that... aristocratic languor.

I know he can't help it, but it's really
not very attractive. To me.

He does not... float your boat?

An expression current in Hammersmith,
never to be used in front of Lydia.

(Chuckles)

Without Lizzy, the equilibrium
of this house is... fragile.

It is fruitless to pretend otherwise.

However, your presence among us
affords a certain...

reassurance.

At least to my father.

And to me.

It's very good to have you here.

Thank you.

I'm... glad I can be of service to you,
while I'm here.

It is not service, Miss Price,

it is friendship.

Yes.

Yes, it is.

(Birdsong)

OK, I have no idea
how to fix this book,

and I cannot sew this bloody pew thing
without stabbing myself in the hand.

Ow.

Ah, Miss Lucas,
how convenient you are.

How glad I am of that, Mrs Bennet.

This is all most industrious.

Miss Price, alas, is a stranger
to handiwork for the church.

I'm sure she would bless you,
were you to take charge of her kneeler.

I may need to unpick all this
and start again, Miss Price.

- Elizabeth sends news?
- She writes to her father, not to me.

She clearly intends to stay
in Hammersmith indefinitely.

And how long do you plan
to stay here, Miss Price?

I intend to trespass on the hospitality
of this household for, er...

for not much more...

time.

I hope you stay forever.

Church has had enough from me for today.

Let us have tea.

Mr Bennet... (Sighs)

Do you show me your finger
because it is injured?

I wish to know, Mr Bennet, how long
Miss Price is to remain our guest.

She does not materially contribute
to the running of this household.

She is unkempt and indelicate...
and not at all couth!

She is upsetting the servants
with all manner of improper remarks!

Ahh...

Oh!

(Amanda) Elizabeth.

In the book, your mother sends Jane
to Netherfield on a horse in the rain.

She gets a cold
and has to stay the night

and that's how Bingley
falls in love with her.

But it's not happening.

Nothing's happening the way it should.

Right. I will do my best.

OK?

For Jane.

Mr Bingley instructed you
to invite me to visit him?

Some men find it hard to speak their
love, except through an intermediary.

It's not uncommon.

You must go.

If I set off for Netherfield, Miss
Price, it will surely pour with rain.

Look at the sky.

The rain will be torrential,
and you will get very wet.

This is all how it should be.

Trust me.

(Mary) Where has my sister gone?
(Amanda) Netherfield.

But there is to be heavy rain.
She'll be soaked and catch the grippe.

Mm-hm.

But this is terrible. The infection goes
straight to her chest.

The last time she contracted it...

Oh, foolish girl! She does not know.

- Doesn't know what?
- How close she was to death! Mama!

(Mary) Mama!

- (Thunder)
- Miss Bennet!

Miss Bennet!

Jane!

Jane has gone to Netherfield Park
in this weather

and Miss Price pursues her!

Are you so obtuse, Mr Bennet, that
you do not see what is the matter here?

She has gone to queer Jane's pitch!

It is exciting when you bring the
language of the theatre into this house

but might this room be returned
to the purpose for which it was created?

For me to sleep in undisturbed.

The weather today is uncongenial.

Is it?

- One tends not to notice.
- (Thunderclap)