Original subtitles

SEJAHTERA APARTMENT, 1 SWADAYA STREET

INCOMING CALL

Books for sale! Three for 10,000.

Three books for 10,000. With Iqro.

Children's drawing books...

We can't... you know?

Why did you tell me then?

Why did you--

I'm always wrong?

You're out of line, always coming home late...

Express train on platform three.

What? To Jakarta?

SHOWER 2,000. TOILET 1,000 PAY HERE

LADIES & GENTS

Mother, listen to me.

I'm really sorry.

I'm fine.

I'm only here to meet with my father.

I'll be back tomorrow on the first train.

My whole life, I have never met my own father.

I want to meet my father.

You have to understand me, Mother.

You can't always hide him from me.

Yes, Mother.

I want to meet him just this once.

If my father turns out to be a disappointment,

that's a chance I'm willing to take.

Okay, Mother, I have to go.

Peace be upon you.

Excuse me.

Do you know this address?

No, I don't.

Thank you.

How much is this?

Excuse me, sir?

What?

I just wanted to ask.

Is this the Sejahtera apartment complex?

Who are you looking for?

I'm looking for Mr. Saiful Herman.

Oh, you mean Ipuy?

Saiful, sir.

I know. We call him "Ipuy" over here.

What do you want with him?

I'm his daughter.

Why don't you just go in? He's not usually around at this hour.

He's gone to work.

-Oh. Thank you, sir. -Yeah.

Ipuy.

Go, go, go!

He's not home.

Do you know where he went?

He's usually at work by now.

I'll wait for him here.

Don't wait for him.

Sometimes he doesn't even come home.

What is your business with him? Who are you?

I'm his daughter.

What? So, you're Ipuy's daughter?

I didn't know he had a daughter.

Let me tell you this.

If you're looking for him...

When you walk out of this building, turn right.

You'll find a bridge there.

You'll find him there.

I thought you said he was working?

That is where he works.

I'll make my way there, then. Thank you.

Sure.

Damn.

Damn!

You're the best.

Really?

You know what?

I've tried everyone here...

But, damn,

you're the best.

I'm the first one tonight, right?

Of course. It's still early.

Do you want more?

You know what?

You're even better than my wife.

So, I guess you want more.

Hey.

Here. Get out of here!

What the... At least give me a tissue.

Go away!

Hi, honey!

Please stop by!

Honey!

Honey!

Hi!

What a cute young man.

Hi, honey!

Where's Ipuy?

Ipuy? Why do you want him? I'm so much better than him.

Don't mess with me!

Where is he?

Ipuy hasn't been around here in a while.

I don't know where he is. What's going on?

Tell him, if he wants to be a faggot, he should just be one.

He shouldn't start ripping people off. It doesn't suit him.

Tell him

to give me back my 30 million rupiah.

Don't fuck with me.

Freebies?

Honey! Don't you want to try me?

I don't steal!

Hi, honey!

-Hi, honey! -Baby! Hi!

A regular!

Bro, more rice.

Add more rendang, please.

-Don't forget the sambal. -Sure.

-Anything to drink? -Iced tea.

Sugar. Hi.

What a cute young man.

Excuse me, sir.

Ma'am.

Is there an office building around here?

Office building?

A store maybe? A stall?

There's no one else here.

Only us.

Weirdo.

Hey!

I'm looking for Mr. Saiful.

Damn this girl!

There's no Mr. Saiful here, dear.

Crazy.

Nobody will stop now. Damn it.

I'm looking for Ipuy?

Why didn't you say so?

Over there.

That one. Ipuy is the one smoking.

Now, go on, get lost!

What a nuisance.

Business is slow today.

Oh, that. She's looking for Ipuy.

Hey.

Who was that girl looking for me? Who?

I don't know.

That girl with the hijab.

She said she was looking for Mr. Saiful.

-Looking for me? -Yes.

What for?

I don't know.

Who is she?

Wait here.

Hi!

Hi, cutie!

Hey, you!

Hey!

Hey, girl!

Who are you? Why are you looking for me?

I'm nobody, sir.

Why are you looking for me?

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to disturb you.

You said you were looking for me?

Who are you?

Who?

Listen to me, little devil!

I'm going to ask you one more time. Who are you?

I'm Cahaya.

What are you doing here?

What?

Where is your mother? Where is she?

I just wanted to see my father. I didn't tell her.

I don't care!

How did you get here?

By train.

I didn't mean to...

-To... -Shut up!

I didn't mean for it to be awkward.

I just wanted to...

I wanted to give you this.

Father.

Thanks.

Hey...

Hey.

What's wrong with you?

If you're not used to the night air, don't go out at night!

Did you catch a cold?

Have you had dinner?

You should eat dinner on time.

Come on! Follow me.

So, your mother didn't let you come here.

You should have listened to your mother.

You'll be damned if you don't.

Do you know what damned means?

You'll be turned upside down.

Is that what you want?

If I keep listening to Mother, when will I get a chance to see...

What do you want?

Pick it up.

Pick up.

What is wrong?

I'm fine.

Why?

Are you embarrassed, sitting here with me?

No.

-Are you embarrassed, sitting with me? -No.

Why should I be?

I'm used to being stared at by these people.

I know what they're thinking.

They're wondering,

"Why would a transvestite sit with a little girl?

One wearing a hijab at that."

I already know.

They only want to see with their eyes but not their heart.

Excuse me.

Where are you going?

Can we talk freely now?

Yes.

Young man.

Coffee, no sugar.

-And you? -One hot tea for me.

Very well.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What grade are you in?

I just graduated from high school.

What's next?

Are you going to college?

Or getting a job?

Not yet.

I'm taking an English course.

I don't have the money yet to go to college.

So, you're here for money?

Huh?

-No. -So, what do you want?

I just want to know my father.

The last time I saw you was when I was four years old.

I'm 19 now.

-I want to know my father... -Listen.

I send you and your mother money every month.

How many months in a year?

Twelve months?

And I'm never late!

Crazy!

That's not the point.

I want to know the person

who's been sending me money for the past 15 years.

So, now that you've met me,

what next?

You want us to act like father and daughter?

Dream on!

I don't know what I want anymore.

You're as stubborn as your mother.

Stubborn.

Okay. I guess this is it.

I have to go back to work.

Usually at this hour, there are plenty of customers.

Do you have any money?

Here, take this.

Go home.

And tell your mother

that I'll send money next month like always.

Now go.

Hey, bro.

What made you change your mind and come back?

Since you're only here for one night...

I might as well keep you company, on one condition.

But why...?

Don't ask so many questions.

You accept my conditions...

or I walk away.

What do you say?

Listen closely.

I will keep you company tonight.

But after tonight, we part ways.

We're finished.

Don't expect to see me anymore,

and don't try to find me.

Get on with your life, and I will get on with mine.

Don't worry about money.

That is my responsibility.

Do you understand?

Promise?

Well?

Do you promise?

Sir. Cigarette, please.

Cigarette.

Stop staring at me.

Haven't you seen a transvestite before?

Don't look so shocked.

I'm used to that.

Don't worry about it.

Don't you want to try to find a different profession?

This is work, too.

What's wrong with this?

I mean a real job...

This is a real job!

I'm making real money,

not Monopoly money.

And I'm making more money

than I would by washing dishes or being a chauffeur.

Just so you know...

the money that I make...

pays for your schooling.

But I've finished school, Father.

What do you mean?

So, now you've seen my job, you don't want my money?

That's not what I mean.

Then what?

Don't ever think that I'm doing this because I'm forced to.

I enjoy this.

Don't ever think that way.

Matches, please.

Like I said before,

you're exactly like your mother.

Always asking questions.

-I'm her daughter, right? -So?

What do you remember about me?

I still remember some things, Father.

What do you remember?

Sometimes, late at night,

I remember playing in the rain.

But, I forget who I played with.

I just remember the situation.

And...

I remember Mother would get upset.

But, I could never remember who she was upset with.

She was upset with you, of course!

You always did like playing in the rain.

You like to sing, right?

Is that a question or a statement?

As I remember it, you do like to sing, but I remember you being all out of tune.

Hey! Excuse me?

My voice is fantastic.

You don't believe me?

Can I borrow the ukulele? Or a guitar?

Are you going to sing?

What, would I be going to dance?

I'm going to sing...

but I'm going to use my man voice.

What song do you want?

I remember you once sang "Bintang Kecil."

"Bintang Kecil," "Bintang Besar," I know them all. Wait.

Little star

High up above on long legs

You mean "in blue skies," Father?

An elbow

I saw a lot of Mamat

I saw a giant

Father, do you know him?

That person?

You wait here.

Don't be angry.

I can explain everything.

I waited for your call.

Why are you avoiding me?

Darling.

Yesterday I really had a problem which I had to settle first.

You know I usually call you.

Don't you dare lie to me.

I wouldn't lie to you.

I really love you.

I have the money. Thirty million rupiah.

It's not important where I got the money.

With this money, I'm going to get that sex change operation.

I'll get it from that surgeon in Surabaya.

I'm doing this for you.

For you, darling.

Darling?

Who is that?

Who?

She's nobody.

She's not important.

She's just someone from my past.

Just give me this one night.

I will take care of this personal matter.

Tomorrow evening,

I will go to your place, and we'll go to Surabaya.

I promise, darling. I promise.

These are the best hours in Jakarta.

Not too empty, but not too crowded.

It's 2:30 in the morning.

My point exactly.

This is the best time.

If it's still early...

there's all the traffic...

Everyone's so hot-tempered.

There's a lot of pickpockets, too.

Whereas now, you'll notice...

most of people are asleep.

All the stalls are closed.

We'll hear the call to morning prayer soon.

Do you pray?

Hell no.

I've forgotten how to do it.

But every time I hear the call to prayer,

it's soothing.

It's very comforting.

Do you pray?

I studied in an Islamic school.

So what?

Didn't you notice I was wearing a hijab?

Yeah, right. But you still got pregnant?

Just tell the truth.

How many months?

How long have you been pregnant?

Eight weeks.

Does your mother know?

-Not yet. -Why?

Why?

You have to tell her.

I still haven't built up the courage to tell her yet.

Listen to me.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

You have to be honest and tell your mother.

Do you understand?

Tell your mother!

Do you ever get tired?

I'm a night person.

-I sleep during the day. -No, I mean...

I mean, of living like this.

Why should I be tired of this?

I'm not hurting anybody.

Wearing high heels...

Dressing a certain way...

Talking a certain way...

You don't have to understand.

This is none of your business.

Hear me out.

The closer you get to people,

the more chance there is you'll get hurt.

Just get to know people enough to understand them.

How long have you been like this?

Why are you asking me all this?

Are you interrogating me?

Please don't speak to me in that tone and manner.

-I'm your daughter-- -Listen.

You think you're so smart?

I'm doing you a favor by staying with you. I can always walk away.

Wait, Father.

I was just asking. What's wrong with that?

Your fault is, you're judging me!

A daughter should learn to respect her father.

If I'm the daughter and you're the father,

then a father should learn to speak in a milder tone.

I'm pregnant now.

I need you to give me one good reason why I shouldn't get rid of this baby.

Even you abandoned your own daughter.

Is it still too much for me to ask for an answer?

I met your mother ages ago,

when I was still working at a construction site.

She lived right next door to me.

Your mother was so kind.

When I got sick, she'd usually make me tea.

Prepare noodles for me.

If she had a problem, she would always run to me.

Before we knew it, we were there for each other.

We felt comfortable with each other.

Maybe that was love.

Why did it have to end?

Nothing lasts forever, Cahaya.

Isn't having a child...

It's not as simple as that, Cahaya.

If you love each other, you can overcome--

Not everything, Cahaya.

What was the real problem?

Your mother always knew what I really was.

The construction site--

In the day! At night, I've always had this work.

What's wrong with you?

I didn't expect you to find out.

I don't expect you to understand.

So, why are you here?

You want to know the truth?

Why do you have to cry?

I came here to find my father.

But nothing turned out the way I expected.

Father, please don't be angry with me.

I don't know what to do.

Fourteen years ago...

I abandoned you.

I left your mother.

I know it's my fault.

Maybe this is my chance to apologize to you.

Who was that man at the night market?

A friend.

Right. Do you love him?

Yes.

Is it possible for two men to have feelings like that?

Why not?

Was that your boyfriend calling you?

His name is Lukman.

Why don't you pick up?

I don't know if I want to be with him or not.

Does he know you're having his baby?

I get it now.

I'm sure you're trying to avoid him.

You're going to have his baby, Cahaya.

So, he has the right to know.

I bet he already suspects it.

I know. But this was all a stupid mistake.

What do you mean?

I'm not ready to have a baby.

Even you walked out on us.

There's no difference.

We're only human.

It's different, Cahaya.

Father.

When mother had me, she was probably the same age as me.

And Lukman...

is probably the same age as you were back then.

There's no difference.

Cahaya.

Let me ask you this.

Does Lukman ever put on a dress and wear high heels? Hmm?

How could you possibly say that the situation is the same?

The point is...

you can't run away from your problems.

Don't make the same mistakes your parents made.

Regret will always find you in the end.

I know.

The fault is mine.

I'm not a good father.

I've never been a father.

It doesn't mean that I'm going to be like you,

or that you're going to be like me.

You are you.

You better answer it.

Answer it.

Hello.

Yes, I'm sorry.

I was praying earlier.

Yes. I'm in Jakarta with my father.

I'm fine. I just need time alone.

Cahaya.

Can you go in and buy me some cigarettes?

What's wrong?

Those sorts of people usually dislike transvestites.

Please?

Why don't you buy some food?

I don't have anything at home.

Okay?

Hey, miss. Why are you hanging out with a faggot?

That's my father.

Come on, let's go.

Ipuy.

Hey. Finally we meet again.

Where's my money?

Where is it?

Faggot!

Hey!

It's fine if you want to be a faggot, but don't be a thief.

Where's my money?

I don't have it anymore.

Listen to me, faggot.

I know where you work.

I know where you live.

You can't run away from me.

And tomorrow...

I'm going to your place.

You have to give back the 30 million that you stole from me.

Otherwise, I'm going to kill you.

One dead faggot in Jakarta...

No one's going to care.

Come on, let's go.

Cahaya.

Father. Oh my God!

Let's go upstairs.

Father.

Yes, she's asleep.

She's tired.

Why did you let her come here?

I'm not ready to be a father.

That's what you think.

I've let down too many people.

I don't want to disappoint my daughter.

Don't be too hard on her.

She's scared now.

You don't have to worry.

I'll let her break the news to you.

Understand?

She'll be home tomorrow.

You got all your stuff? You didn't forget anything?

Cahaya.

This is for you, Cahaya.

What is this?

You take it.

Open it.

Oh my God.

It's 30 million rupiah.

Father, I didn't come here for money.

I know you didn't.

I know you didn't ask for anything.

I've never done anything for you.

I know this will not make up for all of my shortcomings.

But this is the best that I can do for you right now.

Cahaya. You do remember our agreement, right?

This is the end for us.

There can't be more than this.

Whatever you do in life...

it's not about right or wrong.

It's just the path you take in life.

Remember when you were a kid,

and you used to like playing in the rain with me?

Right?

Well, life is more or less like that.

It's not about how to avoid or get away from the rain.

It's about how you enjoy playing in the rain.

Just remember that.

Yes, Father.

I must go now, Father.

Express train bound for Bandung at three.

Peace be upon you.

Peace be upon you, too.