Original subtitles

CONFLICTING MOTIVES

Master Sasaki, how are your injuries?

Much better! Thanks for asking.

They even sewed up the hole in my gut.

The docs here are pretty darn good.

You should have stayed in bed, Mr. Senior Citizen.

If you stick your nose into things like this…

then next time, you'll be the one…

to die!

Sheesh! You gods are all the same.

You're all so darn selfish.

You think every darn thing is gonna go your way.

We don't think it'll go our way.

We make it go our way.

Kondo.

Yeah?

These guys look like bad gods to me.

It's okay to kill them, right?

Yep.

We must remain true to our morals!

Stand aside, Loki.

I'll show 'em who's boss.

Unless I get my payback now,

I could never rest easy again.

Ain't that right, Buddha?

You'll pay for that, Buddha!

Ebisu, what're you aimin' at?

Aw, man.

What'd you go and bust that for?

Still in your rebellious phase?

Wh-What the hell just happened?

He dodged my shots at point-blank range!

Wait! In fact, that was more like…

Quite impressive, Buddha.

Like I figured, I need you…

dead!

You know, you're startin' to tick me off.

Do you think you can beat me?

You're ticking me off as well.

You really know how to tick me off.

I think I'll send you to Niflheimr first.

If you even can.

You're dead meat!

Stop!

Oh, good grief.

You people have got way more energy than you know what to do with.

Well, well.

Gramps…

And even Uncle Odin.

I don't know what happened here,

but I seriously frown upon divisions among allies

at a time like this.

Who said you could go and get in a fight, you blockheads?

Gods fighting among themselves at a time like this is absurd!

Wow! Kondo, those crows are talking!

That's so cute!

Yes, that is cute.

Cute? Really?

Pay attention!

Hey, pal! We're Heaven's Executioners!

We ain't takin' orders from the likes of you!

This ends now!

That's one ferocious aura.

Huh?

What?

I'm not in the mood anymore.

Forget this. I'm going to watch the next bout.

Later, Buddha.

See you soon.

Traitors will be judged.

Don't you ever forget that.

Darn. What a drag.

Never mind it.

Let's go back to our room to watch the next bout too.

What about you, Master Kojiro?

Yeah, maybe I'll be going back too.

Besides, I just got to witness a bit of the power of the Shinsengumi.

Oh, ow!

Probably pushed myself a little too hard.

Oh, you there, mister god.

Sorry about sticking my nose in your business.

Later.

Let's watch a fight!

Now, now, the fight's over.

Why don't you return to you room too?

And another thing…

Make sure you don't cause any more trouble.

Huh?

The only one…

in heaven or on Earth who can tell me what to do…

is me.

Oh, good grief. That guy's a real piece of work.

And, you know, this here Ragnarok,

it sure isn't going the way I had hoped.

Don't you agree, Norse god?

Okay! I'll be heading back to the arena too!

Let's watch a fight!

L-Lord Odin!

Brünnhilde!

I… I went too far earlier. I'm sorry.

I know you've got reasons for what you've done, Brünnhilde.

I'm sure of it!

Göll,

you haven't done anything wrong at all.

There's no need to apologize.

Let's both work together,

for the sake of mankind.

Yes!

Brünnhilde's her old self again.

Ever since Ragnarok began, she'd been acting kind of funny.

Thank goodness.

You know, now we're tied at two wins each.

Mankind has finally caught up to the gods!

In fact, we have a chance to take the lead!

Yes, which is exactly why

I've come to this man.

What is that noise?

Wh-What in the world…

Gluttony… lust… sloth… He's the incarnation of carnal desire!

Who the heck is he?

TANIKAZE 4TH YOKOZUNA

Huh?

UMEGATANI 15TH YOKOZUNA

OZUTSU 18TH YOKOZUNA

Handprints of all the yokozuna?

HITACHIYAMA 19TH YOKOZUNA

That must mean…

Wake up!

It's your turn.

And I was sleeping so soundly too.

But you know…

if you've woken me up…

that must mean you want to get it on with me!

Don't be so cold, you pretty young lady.

I see you're as frisky and robust as ever, Raiden.

You mean this pervert is

mankind's greatest ever sumo wrestler, Tameemon Raiden?

I'm the type that gets more aroused when a woman plays hard-to-get.

So…

His hand's gigantic.

Who's the hottie that I'm going to merge with?

Is it you?

No.

There is someone more appropriate for you.

And let me remind you, it's not "merge." It's "Völundr."

The forging of a Divine Treasure.

Thrúd!

Right here!

Okay, hot stuff,

you're lookin' at your partner right here.

THRÚD THIRD OF THE 13 VALKYRIES

You disappointed that I'm a beast of a woman?

Nice!

Big women are just my type!

You sure are a smooth talker.

But enough of the jokes!

I never joke.

She's turned into a total girly girl!

Thrúd, the most powerful of all the Valkyries…

is making a girly face?

You're a jerk.

I get that a lot.

Come on, now.

Become one with me.

Völundr!

SELL-OUT CROWD, THANK YOU

Is this the arena for the next bout?

What an odd stadium.

Oh, this must be a Japanese sumo arena.

Something's not quite right.

At two wins apiece,

we're all tied up for the fifth bout in the final battle

between god and man, Ragnarok.

For mankind and for the gods,

this is a match that neither side can afford to lose!

VALKYRIE SALMIAK PIES AJIHITOSUJI LAND OF EDEN

VALHALLA HOMES 10,000-YEAR HOUSES BACCHUS RESTAURANT

Those are sumo prize banners!

That's so oriental!

No, there's still something a little off.

The time has come!

For mankind, in the east corner, we have this man!

EAST

From the land of the rising sun comes the greatest of the martial arts!

Sumo!

KAJINOSUKE TANIKAZE 4TH YOKOZUNA

KISABURO ONOGAWA 5TH YOKOZUNA

A sumo wrestler…

Such a virile man!

In its 2,000-year history,

there is one man that everyone recognizes as the greatest of all time!

Open-handed slap. Open-palm thrust.

Double-arm lock. Forward force-down.

Because he was so strong, he was forbidden from using these moves.

Yet, he still remained the greatest!

He won and won and won, and never stopped winning!

Nice!

The curves from his latissimus

to his gluteus maximus, soleus, and all his muscles are truly magnificent.

Yes… I'd love to dissect him.

HOKUSAI KATSUSHIKA

The man who ruled

as emperor of the sumo ring for over 20 years is known as…

the Unrivaled Rikishi!

His name is…

In the east corner, the fifth champion of mankind, from Japan,

Tameemon Raiden!

Toss those gods out of the ring!

Raiden, what a stud!

The greatest sumo wrestler ever!

The seats are packed!

No matter the era, everyone loves this stuff, right?

Huh? Uh, yeah…

Anyway… The gods' champion who'll face the Unrivaled Rikishi,

in the west corner…

is this man!

My! Such intensity!

Wait! Isn't that…

He builds worlds for sport and destroys them on a whim.

He builds then destroys, destroys then rebuilds.

Is the world his sandbox?

What is it he wants to do anyway?

Then why don't we ask him?

Don't waste your breath! Don't pander to him!

He crushes into dust anything he doesn't like!

The Bhairava of the universe!

WEST

In the west corner, from India,

the champion for the gods in the fifth bout!

At last, I get my chance.

Shiva!

I'll destroy you!

All right now, we sure as heck better not have a third loss in a row.

I wonder how they'll entertain us this time.

It's the fifth bout in the final battle between god and man, Ragnarok,

Shiva versus Tameemon Raiden!

It's time to start the bout!

Ready!

Rumble!

Subtitle translation by: Brian Athey