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1
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,166
(train chugging)
2
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,623
(train whistle blows)
3
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,130
ADULT SHELDON:
I've always loved trains.
4
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:16,013
In fact, if my career
5
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:19,468
in theoretical physics hadn't
worked out, my backup plan
6
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,099
was to become
a professional ticket taker.
7
00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:23,430
Or hobo.
8
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:25,481
(train whistle blows)
9
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,520
♪♪
10
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,482
And when I figured out
that trains allowed me
11
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,612
to prove Newton's first law...
12
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,944
an object in motion stays
in motion
13
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,450
with the same speed
and in the same direction
14
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:43,283
unless acted upon
by an unbalanced force...
15
00:00:43,502 --> 00:00:46,586
I felt like Neil Armstrong
on the moon,
16
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,538
alone and happy.
17
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,248
MARY:
Shelly, dinner's ready!
18
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,379
♪ Be-bop-a-lula,
baby, what I say ♪
19
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,302
(giggles) I don't care
how dimwitted you are.
20
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:58,678
Scientific principles
have to make you smile.
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00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,100
Of course,
nobody I knew in East Texas
22
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:04,804
in 1989 cared
about Newtonian physics.
23
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:07,060
The only Newtons
they cared about
24
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,892
were Wayne and Fig.
25
00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,318
MISSY: Sheldon, if
you don't get in here,
26
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:13,021
- I'm gonna lick your toothbrush!
- Coming!
27
00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:14,398
That's my sister.
28
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,323
And she's done it before.
29
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,610
♪ Do the walk of life ♪
30
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,695
♪ Yeah, he do
the walk of life. ♪
31
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:21,821
The hell
were you doing
32
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:22,951
- out there?
- George,
33
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:23,826
language.
34
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,453
What language? So?
35
00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:27,626
I was exploring
dimensional kinematics.
36
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:29,371
Admit it...
he's adopted.
37
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,706
SHELDON:
How can I be adopted
38
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,381
when I have a twin sister?
39
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,050
Think, monkey, think.
40
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,001
MARY:
That's enough.
41
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:35,880
No one's adopted.
42
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,007
I wish I was.
43
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,804
That can still be arranged.
44
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:39,756
Now, let's pray.
45
00:01:39,975 --> 00:01:41,591
A moment, please.
46
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:44,097
(sighs)
47
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,804
- Leave him be.
- He can hold hands
48
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,230
with his family.
It won't kill him.
49
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:48,557
We don't know that.
50
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,017
Georgie, did you wash
your hands before dinner?
51
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,352
Or even this week?
52
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:53,732
None of your business.
53
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,108
Hence the mittens.
54
00:01:57,409 --> 00:01:58,525
MARY: Thank you, God,
for this food
55
00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,906
we're about to receive and for
the nourishment of our bodies,
56
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,828
and bless the hands
that prepared it.
57
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,079
ALL:
Amen.
58
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:07,958
How come we ain't got
no tater tots?
59
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:09,251
I made tater tots last night.
60
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:10,874
GEORGE: I'd take
tater tots
61
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,455
over mashed potaters any day.
62
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,461
- Just eat what I made you.
- Can we at least
63
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:15,587
have tater tots
tomorrow?
64
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,634
ADULT SHELDON:
It was family dinners like this
65
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:20,759
that led me to adopt
a mid-Atlantic accent.
66
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,385
Nobel Prize winners...
67
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,263
(Southern accent):
ought not be orderin' tater tots.
68
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,561
Everybody excited
to start school Monday?
69
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:27,387
I am.
70
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,562
I guess so.
71
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,557
MARY:
Georgie?
72
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:32,062
Freshman year,
that's a big deal.
73
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,688
How can I be excited
when he's gonna be
74
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,111
in the same grade as me?
75
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:36,858
SHELDON: Don't worry,
Georgie, I'm not planning
76
00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,111
on being in the ninth
grade for very long.
77
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,534
All I know is he's not in
the same grade as me anymore,
78
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:42,610
and I'm thrilled.
79
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,620
Good luck
with your finger painting.
80
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,614
You're gonna get your ass kicked
in high school.
81
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,074
MARY:
Hey, language.
82
00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,663
I'm not going to be assaulted.
83
00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,710
High school is a haven
for higher learning.
84
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:52,878
Oh, dear God.
85
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:54,834
Speaking of God,
who's going to church
86
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,416
- with me tomorrow?
- GEORGE SR.: I can't.
87
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,296
I'm meeting
with the other coaches.
88
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,593
You can't meet after church?
89
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,671
No, Mary,
I can't meet after church.
90
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:04,135
Georgie?
91
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:05,842
I got to study
my playbook.
92
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:10,976
I'll go with you, Mom.
93
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:12,432
MISSY:
Why are you going?
94
00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,267
- You don't believe in God.
- No,
95
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:15,772
but I believe in Mom.
96
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,523
I'll take it. Missy?
97
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:18,695
Can't, Heather
asked me to...
98
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,648
- You're goin'.
- Son of a bitch.
99
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:22,658
- Hey.
- Ow!
100
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:23,529
(laughs)
101
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,287
MARY: Missy...
(gasps) Don't you
102
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,911
throw something at the
dinner table. George Jr.
103
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:32,210
ADULT SHELDON: Jane Goodall had
to go to Africa to study apes.
104
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:33,119
MISSY:
Hey!
105
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,288
I just had to go to dinner.
106
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,544
Never at the
dinner table!
107
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,170
You knock that
off, George!
108
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,218
D-Do not retaliate!
109
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:45,265
ALL:
♪ Onward, Christian soldiers ♪
110
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:49,890
♪ Marching as to war ♪
111
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:54,725
♪ With the cross of Jesus ♪
112
00:03:54,943 --> 00:04:00,530
♪ Going on before. ♪
113
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:04,113
In Matthew nine, verse four,
Jesus said,
114
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:08,413
"Why would you entertain
evil thoughts in your hearts?"
115
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,952
- (quietly): Do you have evil thoughts?
- Shh.
116
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,955
I just don't think
this part applies to me.
117
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,127
That's fine.
Be quiet and listen.
118
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,212
I'm only nine years old.
119
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,256
Most evil doesn't start
till puberty.
120
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:20,249
(clears throat)
121
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:21,925
Hello.
122
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,719
Philippians 4:8,
123
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,255
"Finally, brothers,
whatever is..."
124
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:27,886
Do you have
evil thoughts?
125
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,012
I'm having one
right now.
126
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,472
Really? What is it?
127
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,304
When we get home, I'm gonna
kick your little balls.
128
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,606
You can't.
They haven't descended yet.
129
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,025
- Mom?
- What?
130
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,320
When should I be expecting
my testicles?
131
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:42,692
"...whatever
is admirable..."
132
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,740
What is wrong with him?
133
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,817
Nothin' is wrong with him.
134
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,324
Now, turn around before
I knock your lights out.
135
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,031
PASTOR:...think continually
on these things.
136
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,286
A good thought
leads
137
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:54,834
to a good thing.
138
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,786
You feel it in your body.
You feel it in your...
139
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,292
ADULT SHELDON: My mom was
my Christian soldier.
140
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,716
...leads to evil things
and sits there and...
141
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:05,011
And for the record,
they descended when I was 15.
142
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,550
(whirring)
143
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,062
♪♪
144
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,479
Shelly, it's your last day
of summer. Go out and enjoy it.
145
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:20,776
But I have to learn
the student handbook.
146
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,853
Ooh, did you know
extreme hairstyles,
147
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,486
goatees and mustaches
are not allowed?
148
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:28,158
- I didn't.
- I personally find that very reassuring.
149
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,783
Look what a beautiful day it is.
150
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,956
(loud whirring)
151
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,701
(tires screeching)
152
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,247
(deep barking)
153
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,879
Go play.
154
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,678
"Go play"... if only
life were that simple.
155
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,099
There, I played.
156
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,437
Hey, Sheldon!
157
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,477
Hello, Billy Sparks.
158
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,685
- Hello, Matilda Sparks.
- I heard
159
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,270
- you're going to high school tomorrow.
- I am.
160
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,105
You're going to have
to find someone else
161
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,815
to torment on the playground.
162
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,863
"Torment"?
163
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,115
(sighs)
It means to maliciously harass.
164
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,662
"Her ass"?
(chuckles)
165
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:14,993
That's funny.
166
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,870
Well, this was nice.
167
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,075
Hey, doofus!
168
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:19,910
(squawks)
169
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,291
Mom!
170
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,543
- Good girl.
- Mom!
171
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,377
MARY: What am I supposed to do?
His feet are growing.
172
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,178
GEORGE SR.: Why can't
he wear Georgie's old shoes?
173
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,505
MARY: He won't
hold your hand.
174
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:31,680
You think he's gonna
put his feet
175
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:32,973
in his brother's smelly shoes?
176
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:34,766
GEORGE SR.: Well, we damn well
better cut back somewhere.
177
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,640
MARY: Will you please keep
your voice down?
178
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:37,891
(door shuts)
179
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,768
They're fighting
about you again.
180
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,770
They're fighting about money.
181
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:44,102
It's a common argument
in marriages.
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00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,149
(door opens)
183
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:48,110
Lights out.
184
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:49,532
Big day tomorrow.
185
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:51,859
Mom?
186
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:52,989
Hmm?
187
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,321
Do we have financial problems?
188
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,077
Don't you worry about that.
189
00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,283
We are fine.
190
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,126
Now, go to sleep.
191
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,253
(sighs)
192
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:06,253
She's lying. She just said that
to make you feel better.
193
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,585
Mom doesn't lie.
194
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,211
Sure, she thinks
195
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,796
the Earth was made in six days,
196
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,598
but that's 'cause
she's gullible, not a liar.
197
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,012
MISSY:
Mom,
198
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,147
Sheldon can't find his bowtie.
199
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,600
Really? I laid it out for him.
200
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,811
Leave it alone, Mary.
He doesn't need a bowtie.
201
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,943
It's his first day of school.
Let him wear what he wants.
202
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,150
SHELDON: Mom,
I can't find my bowtie!
203
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,452
Dear Lord, why's he
got to wear a bowtie?
204
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,329
Can I drive in with you?
205
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:38,531
Sure.
206
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,582
Everybody's gonna know
he's your brother.
207
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,160
It's gonna be awful for you.
208
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,415
Tell her to shut up.
209
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,204
She's not wrong.
210
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:46,918
(TV plays quietly)
211
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,624
- It's got to be here.
- SHELDON: It's not.
212
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,506
- It's not!
- Shelly, stay calm. We'll find it.
213
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,929
- My tie is gone! My tie is gone!
- Shelly,
214
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,221
you don't really need a tie.
215
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,597
I have to find my tie.
I have to find my tie.
216
00:07:58,895 --> 00:07:59,885
Be right back.
217
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:03,143
Professor Proton wears a bowtie!
218
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,556
George Junior,
219
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,769
- give me back that bowtie right now!
- I didn't take it!
220
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,696
- Don't you lie to me!
- I'm not lying!
221
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,317
- We'll see about that.
- Stay out of my room!
222
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,323
She's gonna find
your dirty magazines.
223
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,403
Shut up!
224
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,530
You are not having a good day.
225
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:20,910
(sighs)
226
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:25,748
(sighs)
227
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:28,919
Ugh!
228
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:30,837
(sighs)
229
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,594
Hey. Hey,
he didn't take it.
230
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,512
- Then what happened to it?!
- SHELDON: I can't find my bowtie!
231
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,681
I'll check in
the bathroom!
232
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:39,258
I took it.
233
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,511
- Why would you do that?
- Mary,
234
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,847
the boy is nine years old
and going into high school.
235
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,560
Isn't that weird enough?
236
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,141
- Give it to me.
- Come on.
237
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,771
It's not just Sheldon.
238
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,356
Georgie's gonna be
in class with him.
239
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,279
Not in the bathroom!
240
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,068
Give it.
241
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,447
♪ Think about it ♪
242
00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,579
♪ There must be higher love ♪
243
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:05,539
♪ Down in the heart
or hidden in the stars above ♪
244
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,246
♪ Without it...
♪ - Would you like to play a driving game?
245
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,172
Not really. I always lose.
246
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,874
- I know. That's why it's fun.
- (laughs)
247
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,927
How about license plates
with prime numbers
248
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,130
- followed by a cons...?
- Why don't we just talk?
249
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:18,213
Very well.
250
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:20,883
You understand
251
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,219
that some people are gonna be
intimidated by you
252
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,428
'cause of how smart you are?
253
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,852
Or maybe
they'll recognize my intellect
254
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,854
and make me their leader.
255
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,310
Lord, look after my son.
256
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,987
Don't let him get
stuffed in a gym bag.
257
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:39,027
♪ Bring me a higher love,
oh, oh ♪
258
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,078
♪ Bring me a higher love... ♪
259
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,657
(distorted sounds
and voices)
260
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:47,243
(distorted speech)
261
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:48,494
Oh, dear.
262
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:49,703
Yeah.
263
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,589
That boy has
an exposed tattoo.
264
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:53,587
He does.
265
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:54,462
I wonder if he knows
266
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,760
that's in violation
of the dress code.
267
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:01,390
Speaking of which, how
about we lose the bowtie?
268
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:02,971
Why?
269
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,727
Look around, honey. None of the
other kids are wearing one.
270
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,475
Well, perhaps I'll start a fad.
271
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,807
No, you won't.
Please trust Mommy.
272
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,392
All right,
tell you what.
273
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,070
You take it off,
and this weekend,
274
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,318
I'll take you to RadioShack.
275
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,029
Hmm?
276
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,951
(bell ringing)
277
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,404
(indistinct chatter)
278
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,915
(growling)
279
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,454
You doing okay?
280
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,494
I guess.
281
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:31,624
(roars)
282
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,251
I smell ammonia.
283
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:35,921
They must've done
a thorough cleaning recently.
284
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:37,508
I like that.
285
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:41,046
MARY: And remember, if anybody
bothers you, what do you say?
286
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,882
My dad's a football coach.
287
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:45,218
- And?
- My brother's a football player.
288
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,347
Good.
289
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:47,803
Hey, Mom, look.
290
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,513
That girl's pregnant.
291
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,686
Congratulations.
292
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,153
(toilet flushing)
293
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,947
Well, that was revolting.
294
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,950
All right.
This is your homeroom.
295
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,653
Do you want me
to go in with you?
296
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:06,580
No. Although I could've used you
in the restroom.
297
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,373
Okay, well...
298
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,250
You have a good day.
299
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:11,451
And I'll pick you up
after school,
300
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,287
same door we came in.
301
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,877
Are you crying or having
an allergy attack?
302
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,129
Allergies.
303
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,710
It's probably the ammonia.
304
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,636
Probably.
(sniffles)
305
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,677
Okay. Let the learning begin.
306
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,557
(exhales)
307
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:38,229
All right, everybody,
my name is Ms. MacElroy.
308
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,689
In addition to being
your homeroom teacher,
309
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:43,401
I'll be seeing some of you
in my English class,
310
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,612
and some of you
on the volleyball court.
311
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,037
Just to give you
a little history,
312
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,615
I've been here at Medford
for 29 years...
313
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:50,540
(mouthing)
314
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:51,959
...I taught some of your
older brothers and sisters,
315
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,583
and sadly,
some of your parents.
316
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:57,672
Not much I haven't seen.
317
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,216
Until today.
318
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,712
I'm sure you're well aware
we have a student with us,
319
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,971
who, despite his young age,
320
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,053
is remarkably gifted.
321
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:10,511
And I expect y'all
to make him feel welcome.
322
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:12,771
Yes, Sheldon?
323
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,357
Per the student dress
and grooming code,
324
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,359
this boy's hair is too long,
325
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,936
this boy is wearing
sports attire
326
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,317
outside
of a designated area
327
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,524
and this girl's blouse
is diaphanous,
328
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,609
which means
I can see her brassiere.
329
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,195
- (laughter)
- Thank you.
330
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:30,034
I will take that
into account.
331
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:31,452
All right.
332
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,660
We have a few minutes
before first period.
333
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,086
I need y'all
to fill out these forms.
334
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:36,957
What?
335
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,289
Also in violation
336
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,919
of the grooming code
on page 48,
337
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,171
article five, subsection B,
338
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,219
you have a bit of a mustache.
339
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,386
(laughter)
340
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,050
This is a stupid idea.
This boy does not
341
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,180
belong in our school.
342
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,977
PETERSEN: Come on Vicky,
it's just the first day.
343
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,895
Why don't we all just take
a deep breath here?
344
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,599
The hell with that. Five
minutes into my math class,
345
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,059
he questioned my credentials.
346
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,019
How am I supposed to control a
classroom when a kid accuses me
347
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:01,729
of being in breach
of the hygiene code?
348
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,405
Well, Hubert, it wouldn't
kill you to shower
349
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,029
a little more often. George,
you want to weigh in here?
350
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,361
- Well...
- INGRAM: Oral Roberts University
351
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:09,365
is a wonderful school.
352
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,196
He said I was intimidated
by his intelligence,
353
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,031
and then,
354
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,867
he offered to be my "leader."
355
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:16,876
(clears throat)
356
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,289
(playing Mozart's Sonata in D)
357
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,691
(piano playing)
358
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,378
(stops playing)
359
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:02,001
Do you know
this sonata?
360
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,089
No.
361
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:05,175
How long have you
played the piano?
362
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:07,928
I don't play piano.
363
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:10,381
PETERSEN:
George,
364
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,673
you got any thoughts here?
365
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:12,967
I certainly do.
366
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:16,307
Mary, tell him.
367
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,185
It's simple.
We don't have a choice.
368
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,936
Well, you gave it a shot.
369
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,651
We wish you luck
with Sheldon elsewhere...
370
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,774
MARY:
No, no, no.
371
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:25,900
We don't have a choice.
372
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,026
He's got to stay here.
373
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:28,232
We can't afford
374
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,066
private school.
375
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,446
I sure can't
homeschool him.
376
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,869
He's doing calculus and
Euclidean something or other.
377
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,288
Euclidean geometry.
378
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:35,865
Guess where I learned that.
379
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,416
Yeah, yeah, we know.
380
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,080
All I care about
is that
381
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,913
my son gets the education
he deserves, so you all
382
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:44,122
are gonna have to
figure this out.
383
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:46,208
Coach, can you help me out here,
please?
384
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:47,292
'Cause I'm dyin'.
385
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,760
I'd rather not.
386
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,554
G minor.
387
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,435
F.
388
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,566
E flat.
389
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:06,728
C minor.
390
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,403
You have perfect pitch.
391
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:12,526
Okay.
392
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:16,364
Sweetheart, you should
really pursue music.
393
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:19,158
No, thank you.
Musicians take drugs.
394
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,828
Is there a faculty
restroom I could use?
395
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:25,960
(whistle blows)
396
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:28,338
♪ Ooh... ♪
397
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:29,717
(grunting)
398
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,511
♪ Ooh... ♪
399
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:38,848
Cooper, Stinson, you're up.
400
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:42,147
(laughs) Hey, look,
it's the dumb brother.
401
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,818
Okay.
(blows whistle)
402
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,322
(grunting, yelling)
403
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:52,274
(whistle blowing)
404
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,075
BERGDOFF:
That's enough. Hey.
405
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,528
- (yelling)
- (whistle blowing)
406
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,446
BERGDOFF:
Hey, that's enough!
407
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:58,655
- GEORGE SR.: Hey, hey!
- That's enough!
408
00:15:58,875 --> 00:15:59,535
Georgie.
409
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,583
Georgie! Georgie!
410
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,251
Stop! Stop!
411
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:07,415
What the hell
is wrong with you?
412
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:12,924
You okay?
413
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,138
No, I'm not okay.
414
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,357
Where you think you're going?
415
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,355
I quit. I don't want
to play anymore!
416
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,732
- Since when?
- Since right now!
417
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,023
All right, what is going on?
418
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,198
What do you think's going on?!
419
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,576
You mean Sheldon?
420
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:40,781
You can't let that bother you.
421
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,116
It doesn't bother you?
422
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,826
You got called
to the principal's office.
423
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:46,377
Yeah, that wasn't so great.
424
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:47,955
I can't be in the same school
as him!
425
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,585
Well, I don't see
what choice you have.
426
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,544
Right. Ever since he could talk,
I quit having any choices.
427
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,012
(groans)
428
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:02,310
I know it's hard.
429
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:06,436
I'm telling you, as your coach,
quit your whining,
430
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,563
get your uniform on and you
get your ass back out there.
431
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,562
But what about as my dad?
432
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,364
Your dad is
having a bad day.
433
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,157
Listen to your coach.
434
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:26,081
Can a clock be powered
by an ordinary potato?
435
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,120
I hope so, boys and girls,
436
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:31,832
or this is going to be
a really boring episode.
437
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,382
The supplies you'll need...
438
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,301
Why can't we
watch DuckTales?
439
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:38,551
'Cause we don't learn anything
watching DuckTales.
440
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,676
It's TV; we aren't
supposed to learn.
441
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,807
...two alligator grips
and, let's see...
442
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,105
Of course, a clock.
443
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,478
Missy, go somewhere else.
I need to talk to your brother.
444
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,269
Why don't you go somewhere else
and I can watch Duck...
445
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:53,274
Go!
446
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,359
I hate everybody.
447
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,317
It's time for science.
448
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:04,323
Hey, he was about to power
a clock with a potato.
449
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:05,282
Not possible.
450
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,367
- Now, listen...
- Am I in trouble?
451
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:08,660
No.
452
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,254
Maybe. Just listen.
453
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,250
You're not gonna
make it in this school
454
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,960
if you keep ratting
people out.
455
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,670
But they were breaking
the grooming codes
456
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,096
and the dress codes.
457
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:23,267
I saw one boy with a T-shirt
that said...
458
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:24,885
(whispering):
"Bite me."
459
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,312
Yeah. That-that's terrible.
460
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,731
Sheldon, let me tell
you a little story.
461
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,229
Did you ever wonder why we moved
from Galveston to Medford?
462
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:35,779
No. I tend to wonder
about the bigger questions.
463
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,777
Okay, well, here's why.
464
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,864
Your dad had a real good
coaching job
465
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,407
and I saw some grown-ups
breaking rules.
466
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:44,495
What'd they do?
467
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,369
I-It's kind of complicated,
but...
468
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:48,913
football coaches aren't allowed
to recruit kids
469
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,211
from other high schools
to play on their teams.
470
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,538
And you told on them?
471
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,749
Yeah. You know what happened?
472
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,584
Justice descended
upon the rule breakers?
473
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,466
I got fired, Sheldon.
474
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,972
And I got a bad
reputation.
475
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,810
Oh. That's why you
drink so much beer.
476
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,398
Just do yourself a favor.
477
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:13,475
Okay? Go to
school tomorrow,
478
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,898
and mind your own business.
479
00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:17,692
All right?
480
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:20,323
Dad.
481
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,281
Are you sad that you got fired?
482
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,456
Mostly angry.
483
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,831
But yeah.
484
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,213
Maybe a little sad.
485
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,676
All right, let's say grace.
486
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:50,728
Thank you, God,
487
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,227
for this food we are
about to receive.
488
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,399
(muffled praying continues)
489
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,274
ADULT SHELDON:
That was the first time
490
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,360
I held my father's hand.
491
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,451
MARY:...our bodies and bless
the hands that prepared it.
492
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,073
Amen.
493
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,453
- GEORGIE: Amen.
- Amen.
494
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:17,419
MARY: Hey, George Jr.,
wait your turn.
495
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,295
ADULT SHELDON: I wouldn't
touch my brother's hand
496
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,172
until 17 years later,
497
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,796
thanks to the invention
of Purell.
498
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,023
You know what I find comforting?
499
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,195
What's that, baby?
500
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,440
In a world filled
with uncertainty,
501
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,275
this place will be here forever.
502
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,575
CLERK: Hey, Sheldon,
how you doing?
35433
Can't find what you're looking for?
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