Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Mail call. Got the gas bill.

The electric bill.

- Master charge. - 'Uh.'

Look, this is something from Lincoln Junior High.

- Lincoln Junior High? - 'Yeah.'

Shawn, it's my report card. Shawn, please don't tell pops.

[sobbing] Pop's gonna beat my ass.

Marlon, will you stop it? You're a grown man.

Oh yeah. Force of habit.

- Marlon, this is strange. - What's that?

It's an invitation to a retirement party for Mr. Gibbs.

Mr. Gibbs?

Our old creative writing teacher?

- Yeah. - I hated that man.

So did I. Man, he was mean.

He was so mean, that he got voted

most-hated teacher five years in a row.

Yeah, and he was only there for three years.

That guy was so mean, he caused me to overeat.

Dupree, you was a fat fetus.

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singing and we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print!'

'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite! That is..'

(Shawn) 'I can't believe it.'

Old prune face Gibbs

is finally hanging it up.

It's about time, mates

about the meanest teacher in our high school.

Yeah, I heard he spent his summer vacation

clubbing baby seals.

Boom! Arf, arf, arf, arf.

Yeah, man. I don't care, you know.

All I know is even though it was ten years ago..

...I still be having nightmares about that man.

Give me another Rain-Blo, homie.

You crazy? What you smoking, this is the last pack, B.

- Yo, what's up? What's up? - What's up, homeboy?

[indistinct chatter]

- Word. - Pe-e-eace.

- What's up, homeboy? - Ceilin'.

- Yo, homeboy, yo. - What's up?

Check out this fab beat.

Me and my man was working on last night.

- Clear the spot. - Alright, go.

[beatboxing]

♪ Purr stick 'em ha ha stick 'em ♪

♪ Purr stick 'em ha ha stick 'em♪

♪ Purr stick 'em ha ha stick 'em♪

[beatboxing]

Yeah.

[applauding]

'Yeah.'

- Yo, homeboy. - What's up, homeboy?

Yo, what you doin', chillin' up at the front of the class?

- Yo, Mr. Gibbs is wack. - 'Oh.'

Yo, he'd be 'ellin, first of all..

...he stepped on my brand-new kicks

straight from the Nancy Street.

- Oh, no! No! No! - Oh, man!

- Agony, agony, agony. - Oh, no!

Then baby 'ellin.

I've been here for the last three periods

one, two, like that.

Like that.

- That many? - Like that.

- Yo, homeboy. - What's up?

- What's this? - Whata! What's what?

"I will not eat gum from underneath the desk."

Homeboy, did you say gum underneath the desk?

- Yeah, B. - There's gum under the desk?

- Yeah, B. - Then let me peep this.

There really is some..

[babbling]

(Shawn) 'Yo, homeboy. Yo.. Yo, homeboy..'

Look out, look out, look out.

Edwards, are you talking?

No, I-I got laryngitis.

You just earned yourself three hours of detention.

And what do I smell? Is that perfume?

You're here to learn, not to peddle your flesh.

Here's a wet wipe, wipe it off.

[laughs] Got you!

Mr. Gibbs, yo, uh...I finished.

Well, you must be failing math too

that doesn't look like a 100.

[clicks tongue] Come on, Mr. Gibbs

I gotta get to lunch.

That's the only class I'm passing.

Alright, you'll finish after school..

...then you're gonna clap my erasers while I watch you.

Man, you wack.

Okay, people, I can see a lot of you

didn't stick to last week's lesson.

What was it?

(all) "Write what you feel."

(Mr. Gibbs) 'Exactly.'

Now, Lakeisha wrote what she felt..

...I guess she felt like failing.

Dupree has dissed you.

Dupree, here's your masterpiece.

"The secret life of a burrito supreme."

D minus.

D minus? What about all my research?

Well, it would've been an F.

The guacamole on the paper was a nice touch.

Are you chewing gum?

Uh, it's not mine.

See, I got it from underneath the desk, homeboy.

Dupree, you sicken me.

Unless you want the board of education.

Put it on your nose!

You look like "Full Force" with a zit.

- What's this? - Hey, hey, yo!

A note.

Wait-wait, yo, that's just some of my funky fresh lyrics

that I was kickin' to Roxanne.

Right, light skin?

Then you won't mind sharing it with rest of the class.

Come on up here and read it, Williams.

Oh, come on, yo, Mr. Gibbs. Don't diss me like that, man.

Come on, I-I can't go up there and read that.

I wrote that for my girl.

No, no. This is too good.

You get up here, and read it, Williams.

Come on!

[groans] Man!

Let us hear it, brother. Let us hear you. Go ahead.

Hold my chain, girl. Here, hold this, come on.

"Ode to Roxanne, Roxanne.

"Your love is good, so good it makes me afraid.

"I wanna drink your love..

...like a cup of red Kool-Aid."

Preach on, brother! Tell me about it!

"I'm so glad..

"...you're a girl who doesn't wear a weave..

"...'cause if you did

it would make me really heave."

(Dupree) 'Real deal, real deal.'

"Roxanne, Roxanne

"try to love me if you can.

'Cause Roxanne, Roxanne, I wanna be your man."

Well, it's a good poem, Williams.

But is that writing what you feel?

I hate you, Mr. Gibbs.

I've got news, Williams, you're not Roxanne's man.

She's dating Jeff.

Yo, three o'clock, me and you, Leroy from "Fame."

- It wasn't right, man. - It's okay, baby.

I just wasn't ready.

I had almost forgotten how evil Mr. Gibbs was, man.

Yeah, he did kinda play you out, Shawn.

And you went runnin' outta class like a little biatch!

You should've seen you.

"No!

"I hate you, Mr. Gibbs.

No!"

So..

Hey, I tell you right now..

...if Mr. Gibbs wasn't so old, I'd get him back.

Hey, they're never too old for revenge, baby.

It's an eye for an eye.

A toof for a toofus.

It's the big payback, baby, that's what it is.

Yeah, payback!

Revenge!

[instrumental music]

[doorbell rings]

You sure this stink bomb's gonna work?

Man, don't worry, man.

One went off at our house, and we had to move.

Damn!

What's up in it?

Some chitlins my grandmother ain't cleaned yet.

Oh!

Don't worry, man, when Gibbs open this box--

Ga-blam!

Chitlin dookie surprise.

Hey, hey, the surprise

is they ain't gonna be able to wash the stink of 'em.

Hey, forget y'all, I thought it was funny.

Hey, look, let's drop this off, and let's be out.

Yes, sir.

Hello, you must be former students of Donald's.

I'm Mrs. Gibbs. Come in, please.

Look, Tweety bird's grandmother.

Hey, hi, I'm-I'm Shawn Williams

and, uh, this is Marlon Williams, my brother.

- Hi! - How are you?

Cool.

Well, we're former students of your husband's.

We was in his creative writing class.

Oh, yes, yes, honey.

'Honey, look who's here.'

Shawn, Marlon, it's great to see you.

Hey. How are you doing?

Hey, how are you doing, Mr. Gibbs?

- Straight. - Good to see you.

- Damn, Mr. Gibbs, remember me? - How can I forget.

- You took my class three times. - Hey, that's right.

Yeah. You made me what I am today.

Don't blame me for that.

Actually, you better blame Ben and Jerry for that.

Get on goin', Haagen-Dazs.

Hey, Mr. Gibbs, me and Marlon were surprised that you invited

us to your retirement party.

Yeah, you know what's funny

I always thought you hated us.

I did.

But my wife invited

all my old students

before I could stop her, but..

...I'm glad you came.

Gives me a chance to tell you

how much I liked that poem you wrote.

- Poem? - Yeah.

It's the hit of all my parties.

In fact, I was just about to read it.

Hey, hey, hey, wait wait w..

(Mr. Gibbs) Gather around everybody.

"Ode to Roxanne" by Shawn Williams.

"Your love is so good, it makes me afraid.

I want to drink you up, like a cup of red Kool-Aid."

[all laughing]

(Mr. Gibbs) I'm sorry. It's hilarious..

Are you crying?

Come on! You crazy, man.

I mean.. Hey, look, j-just drop it off, alright?

Drop off the gift and I'll be out.

I'll be out in the car.

I hate you, Mr. Gibbs!

[instrumental music]

Dupree, Come on. Come on.

[laughing]

That old crow may have gotten the best of me last night

butI

That's right.

I bet his house smells

worse than a zookeeper's hands.

Boys, I hope you didn't go through that

ridiculous, stupid, stink bomb plan.

That's right, pops, he had it coming.

You boys should know better than that.

Being a teacher is the hardest job there is.

They deserve more respect.

- Morning, fellas. - Oh, hi, Dee.

Hey, girl.

Hey, weren't y'all at that Mr. Gibbs'

retirement party last night?

Oh, yeah. That party was the bomb.

Yo, it was the stink bomb.

Boom!

I see how you can joke about that?

They give a big dinner in his honor

and then the man drops dead.

- He what? - What?

What're you talkin' about?

What'd you mean he dropped dead?

It says, when he sat down

to open his presents--

Oh, lord! No, no, no, lord. My boys are killers.

Oh! Who's next, me?

You Menendez brothers.

Now, look, it doesn't even say anything in here about that.

Good looking out, son. I'll tell what you should do.

Go down there and find out what really happened.

- Yeah. - Might as well.

I just hope Mr. Gibbs ain't the first man to die

from a chitlin dookie surprise.

Our gift ain't opened.

- It's not? - It's not opened.

- It's not opened. - It's not opened.

Black, you know what that means?

We didn't kill him.

- Come on, let's go. - No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.

- What? - We can't go.

- We can't break out like that. - Why not?

Because what if his wife opens the gift?

She'll wind up smelling worse than the corpse.

Look, we gotta get the gift back.

Alright, alright.

[doorbell rings]

[sobbing] Oh, Shawn and Marlon..

...come in.

Uh, Mrs. Gibbs, we just came by to pay our respects.

Oh, I'm so glad you boys came by.

You know, you were the only students

who bothered to give him a gift.

Well, see, Mrs. Gibbs that's..

...part of the reason why we came by, see..

...we need our gift back.

Oh, but you can't have it back.

We're going to open all the gifts as a final tribute

at the memorial service.

We thought it a fitting way to say goodbye.

Oh, well, this gift doesn't really say goodbye.

It says more like, open a window.

I don't understand.

Just give me the gift.

Lady, give me the gift, I'll give you $20.

[sobbing]

Alright, come on, don't.. Shh!

Come on, be quiet. Alright, don't cry, don't cry.

I didn't mean to lowball you.

I'm sorry, I can't give you the gift back.

But you know what would mean so much to me?

If you boys would give a eulogy at the service.

- Say what? - Please, say yes.

Look, it's the only way we're gonna get our gift back.

Alright. It's cool.

Besides, funerals have a bunch of grieving vulnerable women..

...who need a shoulder to cry on.

[gibberish]

And we all remember him as a friend, a wonderful husband

'and a devoted teacher.'

I'll never forget the time Donald..

- Hey, what? - Amen. Amen.

Hey man, ready for your eulogy, huh?

You stayed up all night writing it. Better slam it, huh?

Man, the only thing that's gonna be slammin' is that coffin lid.

Gee, I was up all night, I couldn't think of one nice thing

to say about that man.

And now we'll hear from his favorite students

Shawn and Marlon Williams.

Hey, you did a great job.

[whispering]

You did good.

We are gathered here today..

Mmm. Mmm-mm-hmm.

...to pay our respect to a wonderful teacher..

...Mr. Donald Gibbs.

- We all loved him. - Oh, yes, we did.

- Can I get a witness? - Amen. Yes, lord, amen.

At Junior Lincoln High..

...we thought of him as our Mr. Kotter.

♪ And we were the sweathogs.. ♪

Our Nick Freno..

♪ The white boy on the WB ♪♪

And our Michelle Pfeiffer in that bad movie

with a good soundtrack.

Oh, lord!

Yes, the Holy Spirit, help Coolio's haircut.

I rebuke you, cornrow demon.

[babbling]

..."Wide Eye" ain't you? You may proceed, brother William.

Mr. Gibbs believed in education, not constipation.

In the land of subjugation

with 101 Dalmatians.

You better run, Jesse.

You better run, mama baby boy.

Mr. Gibbs also believed in mom and pop

not hip and hop to the hibidy-hibidy-hip-hop.

And you don't stop..

...rocking to the bang and the bang boogie da...up.

Jump the boogie the..

...to the rhythm of the boogie the beat.

So, now, ladies and gentlemen..

...I'd like to now bow our heads

and let's all say a prayer.

Coo-coo!

- Amen. - Amen. Cool.

So in closing, we just wanna say..

...Mr. Gibbs, you will always

be alive in our memories.

Keep Gibbs alive!

Keep Gibbs alive! Keep Gibbs alive!

Say it with me. Keep Gibb alive.

- Keep him alive! - Keep Gibb alive!

- Keep Gibb alive. - Keep Gibb alive.

Peace y'all. Y'all been great. We love you!

- Yeah. - Excuse me?

Why are you taking that gift?

Oh, y-you mean, this gift?

Oh, Lord, forgiveth him, rebuke him, please.

For he know not knoweth what he done doneth.

Look, I'm sorry, Mrs. Gibbs.

I can't lie to you.

Only reason why we came here

was to give him this, this stink bomb.

I never had anything nice to say about him.

[whispering] Hell, no.

In fact, the only thing I could remember he ever taught us was..

(both) Write what you feel.

Well, can't you at least do that?

You owe him that much, at least.

I think, you're right.

Mr. Gibbs was one of the meanest..

...cold-blooded, evil teachers I've ever had in my life.

He made the boy cr-r-ry.

Like Georgie Porgie puddin' pie.

Had him runnin' like a little biatch!

Look, all I know is

he was hard on us for one reason.

One reason only..

...'cause life was hard.

'Cause life is hard.

So, I guess, what I'm trying to say is..

...thank you, Mr. Gibbs.

Thank you for preparing us for life.

Rest in peace.

[sobbing] Don't take my Mr. Gibbs from me.

Lord, he was too young to die.

Oh, father..

...he was too young to die, father.

He was too young.. Oh, lord!

[indistinct chattering]

It's okay. It's okay.

Come on. It's okay. Alright. Okay, alright.

Okay.

Alright.

[Marlon screaming]

Alright. Alright.

[indistinct chattering]

Wait. Okay. Oh, wait.

Okay. Hold it. Alright.

No! No! Lord!

Oh, God!

[screaming continues]

Please, don't let him go!

[indistinct screaming]

[instrumental music]

♪ Uh ♪

Hey, good speech, man.

You know what's funny, I guess..

...I guess, Mr. Gibbs did teach us somethin' after all, huh?

Yeah, and the good news is we got our stink bomb back.

Yeah. Speakin' of stink bombs, I'm in the mood for pops chilly.

- Whoo. - Man, yeah.

That sound like the bomb, yo.

Mm-mm.

"Hope you enjoy this. Love, Shawn and Marlon."

They must be trying to make up to me.

They are so sweet!

[explosion]

(Dee) 'Oh, my God!'

'Chitlins.'

[instrumental music]

Hey man, got a little something for you.

- It's from me and him. - Oh, man.

Real Exploder.

'Must be Cuban.'

That's mighty white of you boys.

♪ Yi-ti-dee ♪♪

[explosion]

(Marlon) 'Run!'

[theme music]

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon. Say cheese.