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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,266 --> 00:00:03,096 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:05,373 Yo, Dee, check out this book that I just got in. 3 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:11,270 Suki Slim's "How To Get Into A woman's Heart And Her wallet." 4 00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:13,230 You think people actually read this stuff? 5 00:00:13,266 --> 00:00:15,226 [scoffs] I've read all those books. 6 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,346 "How To Get A Man." "How To Keep A Man." 7 00:00:17,383 --> 00:00:19,203 "How To Treat A Man." 8 00:00:19,233 --> 00:00:21,203 They don't work. 9 00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:25,660 It's easier if you stand outside a prison 10 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:27,150 with a pizza box and cab fare. 11 00:00:31,266 --> 00:00:34,996 Oh, my God. Listen to these pick-up lines, Dee. 12 00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:38,150 "Girl, if I can rearrange the alphabet 13 00:00:38,183 --> 00:00:41,303 I'd put U and I together." 14 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:47,103 Please, I-I would never fall for that one...again. 15 00:00:48,830 --> 00:00:49,320 Wait, wait, here's a good one. 16 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:52,830 "I'm sorry, but do you have a quarter?" 17 00:00:52,116 --> 00:00:53,376 I'm afraid not. 18 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:55,220 Oh, that's too bad. 19 00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:57,380 'Cause, uh, my mama said to give her a call 20 00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:59,300 when I fell in love. 21 00:00:59,333 --> 00:01:01,283 Aww, that is so sweet. 22 00:01:01,316 --> 00:01:02,316 [coughs] 23 00:01:02,350 --> 00:01:04,830 It is? 24 00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:06,180 Yeah, it is. 25 00:01:06,216 --> 00:01:09,246 That's what it's meant to be, sweet, girl. Just like you. 26 00:01:09,283 --> 00:01:11,003 Well, listen, I gotta get ready 27 00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:13,100 to go to work, but you know what? 28 00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:14,203 Here's my card. 29 00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:16,383 Why don't you give me a call, okay? 30 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,120 Hell, most definitely. 31 00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:20,320 Now don't walk like that, girl. 32 00:01:20,350 --> 00:01:24,170 Suki ain't tellin' me what to do when you do that. 33 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,280 I can't believe she fell for that tired line. 34 00:01:27,316 --> 00:01:28,996 Neither can I. 35 00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:31,300 Alright, I got some readin' to do, girl. 36 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:33,203 - Hey, peoples. - 'Hey.' 37 00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:36,133 What the deal is? Hey, I got a good news. 38 00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:40,096 - You got your half of the rent? - What you smokin'? 39 00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:41,373 Pop, remember that audition I went up for today? 40 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,370 - Yeah. - I booked it. 41 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,660 - Oh-h-h! - I got it. 42 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,270 I got my first commercial, baby. 43 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,250 It's for that new malt liquor, Job. 44 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:51,203 Congratulations. 45 00:01:51,233 --> 00:01:53,333 - And you know that. - You know. 46 00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:54,370 - I'm really proud of you, son. - Thanks, pop. 47 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,130 - How much you makin'? - Five hundred dollars. 48 00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:01,246 Plus all the malt liquor I can drink. 49 00:02:01,283 --> 00:02:04,153 All the malt liquor you can drink? 50 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:08,233 Mm-mm. Can your family get to taste too? 51 00:02:10,183 --> 00:02:11,353 No, pop. Sorry. 52 00:02:11,383 --> 00:02:13,353 But, eh, pop, this commercial's going to be large. 53 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,253 They're gonna show it on BET, "Soul Train" 54 00:02:16,283 --> 00:02:20,003 and get this, on reruns of "That's My Mama." 55 00:02:20,330 --> 00:02:23,160 Ooh! That Mabel King was fine. 56 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:24,220 I meanfine. 57 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,220 Come on, let me fix my favorite son some lunch. 58 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:32,500 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, pop.. 59 00:02:32,830 --> 00:02:33,220 I thought I was your favorite son. 60 00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:36,160 Well, Shawn, you're just a little newsboy. 61 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,320 Marlon is a celebrity. 62 00:02:38,350 --> 00:02:40,120 The door, please. 63 00:02:40,150 --> 00:02:43,160 Uh, you won't get to taste, brother. 64 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,830 [theme song] 65 00:02:46,116 --> 00:02:47,366 ♪ We're brothers ♪ 66 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,250 ♪ We're happy and we're singing ♪ 67 00:02:49,283 --> 00:02:52,183 ♪ And we're colored ♪ 68 00:02:52,216 --> 00:02:54,296 ♪ Give me a high five ♪♪ 69 00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:56,663 (male #1) 'Alright, cut and print.' 70 00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:58,250 'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite. That is..' 71 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:06,503 [upbeat music] 72 00:03:06,830 --> 00:03:07,350 Alright, pops, I got everything. 73 00:03:07,383 --> 00:03:09,103 That's good, son. 74 00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:11,203 Shawn, what are those pliers for? 75 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,273 It's a ghetto remote. 76 00:03:15,330 --> 00:03:16,150 Well, would you hurry up, please? 77 00:03:16,183 --> 00:03:18,333 Y'all gonna miss my commercial. 78 00:03:18,660 --> 00:03:20,330 - Fix it. - Stupid. 79 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:24,166 ♪ Oo-o-o ooh ♪ 80 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:28,270 ♪ Ooh ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ♪ 81 00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:31,300 ♪ Oo-o-o ooh ♪♪ 82 00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:35,323 Man, you've been trying to hit that note all day. 83 00:03:35,350 --> 00:03:39,200 I know, it's just that my throat is so dry. 84 00:03:39,233 --> 00:03:41,333 You know, kid, we ain't gonna never 85 00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:42,380 get a record deal soundin' like this. 86 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,180 Record deal? Y'all need to get some jobs. 87 00:03:48,266 --> 00:03:52,096 You know what, fellas? She's right. 88 00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:55,203 ♪ Do-da-do-da-do-ra-ru ♪ 89 00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:57,503 ♪ Ru-da-do-da-pap ♪ 90 00:03:57,830 --> 00:03:59,330 ♪ Do-da-do ♪ 91 00:03:59,660 --> 00:04:00,120 ♪ Do-da-do ♪ 92 00:04:00,150 --> 00:04:04,830 ♪ Bap-bap-do-da-do ♪ 93 00:04:04,116 --> 00:04:08,496 ♪ Bap-bap-do-da-do ♪ 94 00:04:08,830 --> 00:04:09,180 ♪ Dap-da.. ♪ 95 00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,246 ♪ Now that we got Jobs ♪ 96 00:04:11,283 --> 00:04:15,333 ♪ Things are the way they're supposed to be ♪ 97 00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:17,370 ♪ Job Malt Liquor ♪ 98 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,370 ♪ That's our brand ♪ 99 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:24,000 ♪ Get it in a 40 ounce quarter can ♪ 100 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:30,000 ♪ Aa-a-ah ♪ 101 00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:33,220 ♪ Hoo-hoo-oo ♪♪ 102 00:04:38,316 --> 00:04:41,096 I can't believe it. Th-that's my boy on television. 103 00:04:41,133 --> 00:04:43,333 Yeah, that's all our community needs. 104 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,266 A new malt liquor commercial. 105 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:47,830 Ah, hush up, Dee, you're just mad 106 00:04:47,116 --> 00:04:50,496 'cause Billy Dee Williams wasn't in it. 107 00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:51,300 - Thought it was fab, baby boy. - Oh, thank you, brah. 108 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,663 - Proud of you. - Appreciate that. 109 00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,660 - Hello-- - 'When you make lot of money.' 110 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:56,250 - I'm buying you-- - When you make a lot of money.. 111 00:04:56,283 --> 00:04:58,183 - I want a ticket to.. - I'm buying you.. 112 00:04:58,216 --> 00:04:59,326 Excuse me. 113 00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:03,180 What it is, homeboys and hood rats? 114 00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:09,230 Yo, who let Rush Limbaugh up in here? 115 00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:10,276 - Hey, what's up, Tom? - Hey. 116 00:05:10,316 --> 00:05:11,316 Hey, guys, this is Tom 117 00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:13,170 the ad executive from Job. 118 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,150 - What you doin' up around here? - Oh, I got some good news. 119 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:18,223 Of course, corporate wouldn't risk sendin' me down 120 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,350 to thehood 121 00:05:20,383 --> 00:05:23,333 'Uh, look, the testing on your commercial' 122 00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:25,266 has been so great 123 00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:29,660 we want you to be our official Job spokesman. 124 00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:32,160 Oh, get the, huh, out of here! 125 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,180 For real? You mean, I got a job sellin' Job? 126 00:05:34,216 --> 00:05:36,326 - Oh, yeah. - Gimme some of that. 127 00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:37,130 - Hey! - Whoa, hold up. 128 00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:38,366 That's cool.. 129 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,180 Appreciate that. 130 00:05:42,266 --> 00:05:43,376 Thanks, man. 131 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:48,660 Now all I need is to see your John Hancock. 132 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,330 That a little freaky, but okay. 133 00:05:49,366 --> 00:05:52,156 [indistinct shouting] 134 00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:56,333 Marlon! Hey.. 135 00:05:58,350 --> 00:06:01,230 I just need to see your signature. 136 00:06:01,266 --> 00:06:04,326 - Signature. - Oh, wrong Hancock. 137 00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:07,096 I thought you meant the herbie. 138 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:09,333 Hey, hey, hey, don't sign anything 139 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:10,320 until you get a lawyer to look that over. 140 00:06:10,350 --> 00:06:13,330 That's right. Find out how much you gettin'paid 141 00:06:13,660 --> 00:06:16,160 Well, that would be right here. 142 00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:17,370 - Ooh! - Damn! 143 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,500 Sign that, son, hurry, before they take 144 00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:21,150 that comma out of there. 145 00:06:21,183 --> 00:06:23,153 [instrumental music] 146 00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:25,383 Shawn, what's wrong? 147 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,170 You hardly said a word all night. 148 00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:31,100 I'm sorry, I just.. 149 00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:33,303 I'm not used to having female company.. 150 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,233 ...ever since she left. 151 00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:40,126 Aww, you poor thing. 152 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:42,326 You wanna talk about it? 153 00:06:45,233 --> 00:06:46,253 No. 154 00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:48,176 [sniffles] 155 00:06:49,316 --> 00:06:52,326 I remember she was crazy about New Edition. 156 00:06:54,133 --> 00:06:57,183 I was in "Popcorn Love" with that "Candy Girl." 157 00:06:57,216 --> 00:07:00,326 But I guess she couldn't "Stand The Rain." 158 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,320 [sobbing] And now, I'm so-o-rry! 159 00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:10,330 I remember I bought her some tickets 160 00:07:10,366 --> 00:07:12,276 for their concert. 161 00:07:12,316 --> 00:07:15,826 To make a long story short.. 162 00:07:15,116 --> 00:07:17,496 ...when they left town.. 163 00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:19,150 [sobbing] ...so did she. 164 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:24,996 That tramp! Which one did she leave with? 165 00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:28,180 Ronnie, Johnny, Ricky, and Mike. 166 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:31,380 Mama was right. 167 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,160 You can't trust a big butt and a smile. 168 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,320 That girl was "Poison." 169 00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:39,300 Oh, Shawn. You poor thing. 170 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:43,003 Look, I'm gonna get you somethin' to drink, okay? 171 00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:46,150 - I-I'm.. - Okay, go and get it, girl. 172 00:07:47,116 --> 00:07:49,226 With ice. With ice, girl. 173 00:07:52,183 --> 00:07:54,353 Ah, he he he. 174 00:07:54,383 --> 00:07:56,283 Howdy-do? 175 00:07:56,316 --> 00:07:59,316 I can't believe that girl is still goin' for your mess. 176 00:07:59,350 --> 00:08:02,230 Hey, girl, she's on the Suki spell. 177 00:08:02,266 --> 00:08:04,216 - Chop-chop-chop. - 'Ugh!' 178 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,000 He he he. 179 00:08:06,330 --> 00:08:08,130 - Hey, people, what's poppin'? - Hey. Alright. 180 00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:10,266 Got a little somethin' for everybody. Here you go! 181 00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:12,660 Here you go. Alright, sister. 182 00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:15,170 Here, brother, cover up that hairline. It's gold. 183 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,300 Yo, kid. 184 00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,223 You look like you just robbed Barneys. 185 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:22,330 No, brother. I'm just bearin' the fruit of my loons. 186 00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:25,330 Kid, they ordered three more Job commercials today. 187 00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:28,280 To celebrate, I got everybody a little bit of gifts. 188 00:08:28,316 --> 00:08:30,376 That's for you, brah. 189 00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:44,500 Too much weight! 190 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,320 This is the nicest gift I ever had, man. 191 00:08:49,383 --> 00:08:52,003 I know, baby. I know. 192 00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:57,170 You're only 11 months behind now, kid. 193 00:08:58,133 --> 00:09:00,303 And, pop, this is for you. 194 00:09:05,216 --> 00:09:07,496 He never had none before. 195 00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:10,330 A Harold Melvin and The Blue Notes jacket! 196 00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:15,200 You know how many tons of Kools I gotta buy 197 00:09:15,233 --> 00:09:19,153 to get me one of these jackets? Oh, son, I love you, son. 198 00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:22,663 I love you too. 199 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:26,120 And it's now, everybody, the moment we all been waiting for. 200 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,120 My newest Job commercial. 201 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,300 - Alright. - Come on! 202 00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:30,333 Come on, everybody, gather around. 203 00:09:30,366 --> 00:09:32,276 Sit around. Y'all sit around. 204 00:09:32,316 --> 00:09:36,176 Yo, kid, you're gonna be bringin' in the Macalena dance. 205 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,660 He he he. 206 00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:43,120 I'm sorry, Mr. Jackson. There just isn't any work! 207 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,500 What'd you mean there's no work, lady? 208 00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:46,280 Look, I need a job! 209 00:09:46,316 --> 00:09:49,656 [rumbling] 210 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:51,200 Somebody say they need a job? 211 00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:53,003 'I'm in!' 212 00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:54,230 Oh! Whoa! 213 00:09:55,350 --> 00:09:57,280 Ow! Ow! 214 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:01,130 Yo, I'm back and I'm kissin' myself. 215 00:10:01,166 --> 00:10:02,996 Here you go, brother! 216 00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:05,830 Ha! There you go, brother. 217 00:10:05,116 --> 00:10:08,326 Here you go, sister. You can take one for the baby! 218 00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:10,130 There you go, brother. 219 00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:13,196 I got Job for everybody! Ha ha ha. 220 00:10:13,233 --> 00:10:15,223 What do you mean, there ain't no job? 221 00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:17,660 [shattering] 222 00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:19,180 Witch! Y'all know what I mean! 223 00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:23,166 (male #2) Job, for brothers who know 224 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,330 life isn't just about work. 225 00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:26,496 At your local liquor store. 226 00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:27,100 Looks like someone's paging me 227 00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:30,003 in the ghetto! Gotta go! 228 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,220 What y'all think, everybody? 229 00:10:32,250 --> 00:10:35,000 Hey, hold on! Where's everybody goin'? 230 00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,350 Dee, what, you didn't like the comm.. 231 00:10:36,383 --> 00:10:40,503 Dee. Wait. 232 00:10:40,830 --> 00:10:42,150 Oh, come on, Dee, what.. 233 00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:45,223 Hey, what's wrong with everybody? 234 00:10:45,250 --> 00:10:46,330 Why'd they leave? 235 00:10:46,366 --> 00:10:48,176 Because they were offended. 236 00:10:48,216 --> 00:10:50,226 Son, they're makin' a fool out of you. 237 00:10:50,266 --> 00:10:52,176 Oh, pop, you're just old school. 238 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,246 - Shawn, what do you think? - Huh? 239 00:10:54,283 --> 00:10:56,333 - What do you think? - Oh, uh, hey.. 240 00:10:56,366 --> 00:10:59,826 Well, you know, brah, I mean, you know.. 241 00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:04,370 At least there wasn't you know, like, fried chicken or pimps. 242 00:11:07,183 --> 00:11:09,303 Hell, kid. I came in front. 243 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:10,373 I was offended. 244 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,160 - Offen.. - Look, look, look. 245 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:15,830 I know I raised you guys better than this. 246 00:11:15,116 --> 00:11:18,096 I taught you never to let anybody take advantage of you. 247 00:11:18,133 --> 00:11:21,333 Son, they are taking advantage of you. 248 00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:22,300 Oh, come on, pop. Look. 249 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:25,183 I worked too hard to get where I'm at, alright? 250 00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:30,130 Alright, so I got a little lucky. 251 00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:32,126 But look, pop, this is acting. 252 00:11:32,166 --> 00:11:35,216 This is called paying dues, man. Everybody does this. 253 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:38,150 Shoot! People of my class would've killed for this chance. 254 00:11:38,183 --> 00:11:41,173 Jimmy Walker would have killed for this chance. 255 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,200 Or any chance for that matter. 256 00:11:43,233 --> 00:11:46,833 I know he tired of that damn pizza commercial. 257 00:11:48,133 --> 00:11:51,163 Look, I-I'm sorry, y'all. I'm.. 258 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:53,230 I ain't givin' this up for anybody. Sorry. 259 00:11:53,266 --> 00:11:56,656 Well, if that's the way you feel.. 260 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:58,270 ...I don't want no parts of this. 261 00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,180 Pop, come on, man. You're being ridiculous. 262 00:12:00,216 --> 00:12:03,166 Pop? Pop, come on, man! 263 00:12:08,316 --> 00:12:10,326 What about you? You feel the same way? 264 00:12:10,366 --> 00:12:12,216 Yeah, kid. 265 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,130 But you ain't gettin' your rent back. 266 00:12:16,166 --> 00:12:18,366 [instrumental music] 267 00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,153 [instrumental music] 268 00:12:23,183 --> 00:12:26,833 - Hey, Shawn. - 'Girl, look at you.' 269 00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:27,996 Looking like a glass of wine. 270 00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:31,660 You better come over here and give me a sip. 271 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:33,130 You know I really needed to hear something like that 272 00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:35,126 after the day I've been having. 273 00:12:35,166 --> 00:12:37,226 What? You been having a bad day? 274 00:12:37,266 --> 00:12:38,296 - Mm-hmm. - Come here, girl. 275 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:41,663 Come, sit down. Come on. 276 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,280 - Come, sit down. - Oh, Shawn! 277 00:12:42,316 --> 00:12:45,226 Tell me all about it. Kick your shoes off. 278 00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:48,656 Relax, get undressed. 279 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,160 Just jokin'. 280 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:51,380 Tell me all about your day 'cause I know how important 281 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,200 it is to have someone listen 282 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:59,333 Oh, Shawn. You are so sweet. 283 00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:02,660 Oh, it feel so good, you're so understandin'! 284 00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:03,200 Mmm. Mm-mm. 285 00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:06,333 I tell you, if my baby's daddy weren't so crazy 286 00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,100 I'd make you my man! 287 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,000 Your baby daddy? 288 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,170 Uh-huh, and to think 289 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,660 I just got his name tattooed across my stomach. 290 00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:21,830 See, he think he all tough, just because he done spent 291 00:13:21,116 --> 00:13:24,266 five years in the pen for killin' my last boyfriend. 292 00:13:25,366 --> 00:13:27,316 - He killed your last boyfriend? - Yeah. 293 00:13:27,350 --> 00:13:30,300 But I know you ain't work 'cause see, you ain't no sissy! 294 00:13:30,333 --> 00:13:32,203 Is you? 295 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,150 [imitating a girl] You know, Simone, huh? 296 00:13:41,116 --> 00:13:42,326 You know what, girl, I can relate to you 297 00:13:42,366 --> 00:13:46,096 'cause you need to see my man is in the pen too. Mm-hmm. 298 00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:48,153 Bubba ain't called me neither. 299 00:13:48,183 --> 00:13:51,323 You, you, you know what, I-I-I had a feeling about you. 300 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,000 It's, it's always them pretty ones. 301 00:13:57,233 --> 00:13:58,303 Isn't it? 302 00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:02,203 But don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful...fish. 303 00:14:02,233 --> 00:14:04,273 [instrumental music] 304 00:14:08,383 --> 00:14:11,663 Hey, hey, what's up, pops? 305 00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:15,330 Boy, it's really crowded in here today, huh? 306 00:14:15,366 --> 00:14:17,196 I bet it wouldn't be this crowded if they knew 307 00:14:17,233 --> 00:14:19,253 what you really put in your chili. 308 00:14:19,283 --> 00:14:21,253 Wheew! 309 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,330 Come on, pop. You still mad at me? 310 00:14:26,660 --> 00:14:28,220 You still sellin' that beer? 311 00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:30,300 Eh, pop, I got great news. 312 00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:33,183 I'm doin' a live commercial, live from the poolhall today. 313 00:14:33,216 --> 00:14:35,116 Doin' a Knicks and Lakers game. 314 00:14:35,150 --> 00:14:37,660 And guess what.. 315 00:14:38,183 --> 00:14:41,173 I guess I won't be watchin' that game. 316 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,830 Come on, pop. Why are you acting like that, man? 317 00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:48,156 [imitating a girl] Okay, girl! Work it! Work it! Work it, girl. 318 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,120 Don't even ask. 319 00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:55,380 And I only thought I had Marlon to worry about. 320 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,180 Eh, Shawnice. 321 00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,320 Let me ask you a question. 322 00:15:00,350 --> 00:15:03,130 You think me doin' these commercials is wrong? 323 00:15:05,100 --> 00:15:06,200 You're the one that gotta look yourself 324 00:15:06,233 --> 00:15:07,383 in the mirror every morning, kid. 325 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,100 Don't matter what I think. 326 00:15:09,133 --> 00:15:12,173 Exactly! I ain't hurtin' nobody. Shoot! 327 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,000 I don't know why y'all trippin' off these commercials. 328 00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:16,330 Either they're gonna drink it or they ain't. 329 00:15:16,366 --> 00:15:18,296 I ain't nobody's role model. Shoot! 330 00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:20,183 Eh, yo, G. 331 00:15:20,216 --> 00:15:22,366 Eh, aren't you the Job man? 332 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,200 - Yeah, that's me! - Man! 333 00:15:25,233 --> 00:15:27,003 Me and my homies, we've been buggin' off 334 00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:28,270 your commercials every day. 335 00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:30,000 (kid #1) 'Hey, let me get your autograph.' 336 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,500 - Oh, no problem, man. - Yeah. 337 00:15:32,830 --> 00:15:34,170 Say something from the commercial. 338 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,300 Stay in school! 339 00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:43,383 Why? You don't need school to get a...J-O-B. 340 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,130 Thank you, my brother. 341 00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:49,156 I'll take your leave. 342 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:50,380 Ha! 343 00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:57,170 I think you got something to do. 344 00:15:59,116 --> 00:16:01,376 Yeah, you're right. Come on, let's go talk to Tom. 345 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,330 [upbeat music] 346 00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:12,660 Hey, kid. 347 00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:13,250 Thanks for coming down here with me, man. 348 00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:15,383 - I appreciate it. - Oh, no sweat, baby boy. 349 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,330 You know I always got your back! 350 00:16:17,366 --> 00:16:19,126 Hey, hey, hey! 351 00:16:19,166 --> 00:16:22,146 The Job-meister is here. Ha ha. 352 00:16:22,183 --> 00:16:25,353 - Hey, are you representing.. - Eh, eh, stop, man, eh.. 353 00:16:25,383 --> 00:16:27,373 - What's wrong with you? - Alright. 354 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,100 Look, there's been a last minute change. 355 00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:33,153 Now we're still doin' the scene where there's a party goin' on 356 00:16:33,183 --> 00:16:35,283 and man is it whack? 357 00:16:35,316 --> 00:16:37,266 'But when you bust through the door' 358 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:39,120 and start passin' out Jobs 359 00:16:39,150 --> 00:16:43,250 now, now, we want you to carry a bucket of hot wings too. 360 00:16:43,283 --> 00:16:46,303 What do you think? It'sthe bomb, 361 00:16:46,333 --> 00:16:50,333 White man, have you lost your baloney-smellin' mind? 362 00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:52,370 It's a cross-promotion with Colonel Yard Bird. 363 00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:56,170 Well, at least there ain't no pimps. 364 00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,230 Places, [indistinct]. Come on, buddy. 365 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,330 You better handle your business, kid. 366 00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:06,330 - Hey, Tom, come here. - Sure. 367 00:17:06,366 --> 00:17:08,096 Can I make a couple of suggestions? 368 00:17:08,133 --> 00:17:10,003 Hey, anything you want, buddy. 369 00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:12,660 You know this world a lot better than I do, right? 370 00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:14,220 Yeah, great. Listen. 371 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,000 - I was thinkin', right? - Okay. 372 00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:18,660 I'm kinda uncomfortable with this approach. 373 00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,300 - So I'm gonna try it this way. - Okay. 374 00:17:19,333 --> 00:17:23,333 What if I start givin' Jobs to people that got jobs? 375 00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:24,500 Do you know what I'm saying? 376 00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:25,230 It's like if I start givin' Jobs 377 00:17:25,266 --> 00:17:28,326 to, like, doctors and lawyers, like, here you go. 378 00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:30,226 - You know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. Alright. 379 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:33,366 Let's just think about this for a minute, okay? 380 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,660 No. That's not our target audience. 381 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,320 Well, what is your target audience? 382 00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:42,280 Well, you know, uh, inter-city, 20 something 383 00:17:42,316 --> 00:17:44,326 uh, beeper wearers. 384 00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:48,246 Members of, uh, urban fraternal organizations. 385 00:17:48,283 --> 00:17:53,333 Oh, well, you mean the gangsters, thugs andhoes? 386 00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:55,000 Okay. 387 00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:57,380 You know what? I can't do this no more, man. 388 00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,120 That's right, kid. 389 00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:01,220 You ain't gotta do anything you don't wanna do. 390 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,160 You seen "Hollywood Shuffle." 391 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:06,300 There's always work at the post office. 392 00:18:06,333 --> 00:18:09,163 - Damn right! - Let's go. 393 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,100 Excuse me for, uh, just a second. 394 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,333 Is this your lawyer? 395 00:18:12,366 --> 00:18:16,326 'Cause you're gonna need one if you break your contract. 396 00:18:16,366 --> 00:18:18,196 Now, come on. 397 00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:20,203 You just go get ready, tiger. 398 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:23,003 We're on live in ten minutes. 399 00:18:26,183 --> 00:18:27,233 Sorry, kid. 400 00:18:27,266 --> 00:18:30,266 I guess you're stuck doin' this commercial. 401 00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,220 I'mma do it! 402 00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:35,170 But I think the script needs a little bit of rewriting. 403 00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:40,250 Ah. I got your back! I see what you're sayin'. 404 00:18:40,283 --> 00:18:43,333 They want ignorance. We're gonna give 'em ignorance. 405 00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:44,180 Come on, man. 406 00:18:44,216 --> 00:18:45,266 (male announcer) 'And that ties up the score.' 407 00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:46,330 'So at half-time, things are' 408 00:18:46,366 --> 00:18:48,176 'knotted up at 60 apiece.' 409 00:18:48,216 --> 00:18:50,156 'We'll be right back after this brief message' 410 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,220 'from Job Central live in the hood.' 411 00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:53,380 Action! 412 00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:57,150 Girl, I don't know about you 413 00:18:57,183 --> 00:18:59,183 but, uh, I think I'm about ready to go. 414 00:18:59,216 --> 00:19:01,346 Ah-ah, girl, I don't know why you rushin' it. 415 00:19:01,383 --> 00:19:04,133 It ain't like we got no drop. 416 00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:05,146 [explosion] 417 00:19:05,183 --> 00:19:07,223 (Marlon) Resolve! 418 00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:10,660 I got some Job for you stank ass hoochies. 419 00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:12,300 Eh, they're easy to get. Especially in my hood. 420 00:19:12,333 --> 00:19:14,273 'Cause there's a liquor store in every corner. Mwah. 421 00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:17,180 That's right, just look for a brother with the yellow eyes 422 00:19:17,216 --> 00:19:19,216 vomittin' in the parking lot. Yeah. 423 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:21,830 I'll tell you ladies somethin'. 424 00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:23,146 My mama, my mama started drinkin' Job 425 00:19:23,183 --> 00:19:24,273 in her third trimester. 426 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,270 Ain't affect me none, see. 427 00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:28,330 Perfect picture, huh. 428 00:19:28,660 --> 00:19:30,300 Y'all, let's tell our little cheerleaders out there 429 00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:32,333 what's inside this good stuff. 430 00:19:32,660 --> 00:19:33,330 Ah, you gotta tell 'em, 'cause you know I can't. 431 00:19:33,366 --> 00:19:36,826 I hear that, baby. We got asbestos. 432 00:19:36,116 --> 00:19:37,346 - We got rubbin' alcohol? - Right. 433 00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,323 - And grain alcohol. - Hmm. 434 00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:41,220 Hey, you know how the grains been keepin' you regular? 435 00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:43,380 Eh, don't forget to tell 'em about, about the formaldehyde 436 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,300 'cause that could really kill your brain cells. 437 00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:47,233 That's right, they'll have you sneakin' outta rehab 438 00:19:47,266 --> 00:19:49,146 like Robert Downey Jr. 439 00:19:49,183 --> 00:19:51,003 - Hey, hey! - What? 440 00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:53,150 Stick to the script. This is a live commercial. 441 00:19:53,183 --> 00:19:55,223 Eh, tut-tut-tut.. Hey, look at that Tom. 442 00:19:55,250 --> 00:19:57,230 This is Tom, dawg. Tom, come here, don't be shy. 443 00:19:57,266 --> 00:20:00,326 Say hi to people. I said say hi to people. Say hi. 444 00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:02,330 Hey, hey, Uncle Tom over here is the genius 445 00:20:02,366 --> 00:20:05,176 behind all you bubbas out there havin' Job. 446 00:20:05,216 --> 00:20:08,196 Hell, yes. So we stay drunk, high and lazy. 447 00:20:08,233 --> 00:20:10,333 This way we're too stupid to get real jobs. 448 00:20:10,366 --> 00:20:12,266 Eh, thanks for the oppression, Tom. 449 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,830 Love you, baby. That's good stuff.. 450 00:20:15,116 --> 00:20:17,326 That's it! You're out of the job. Hand 'em over. 451 00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:19,146 - Oh, you want 'em? - Oh, you want 'em? 452 00:20:19,183 --> 00:20:21,273 - I'll be more than happy to.. - There you go. 453 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:24,830 [indistinct chattering] 454 00:20:24,116 --> 00:20:27,496 Alright, there you go, man.. 455 00:20:27,830 --> 00:20:29,220 Get on back here! Break yourself, fool. 456 00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:31,300 Yo, homeboy, let's sing our theme song. 457 00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:32,383 Boom! 458 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,200 [upbeat music] 459 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,383 ♪ Chow malt liquor it's so good ♪ 460 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,150 ♪ They only sell it in the hood ♪ 461 00:20:39,183 --> 00:20:41,123 ♪ For rich people don't fret yo ♪ 462 00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:43,330 ♪ Because they only sell it in the ghetto ♪ 463 00:20:43,366 --> 00:20:46,296 ♪ Peace love and ignorance ♪♪ 464 00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:56,280 I saw you on the 11 o'clock news. 465 00:20:56,316 --> 00:21:01,156 Your commercial stunt set off a boycott on Job malt liquor. 466 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,320 Go on, baby. Go on. 467 00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:06,230 Hey, I know it took a lot to give all of that up, son. 468 00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:08,196 Thanks, pop. But you know what? 469 00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:11,123 Next time I choose a commercial, I'mma be real careful. 470 00:21:11,150 --> 00:21:13,500 - Good to hear that, son. - Speakin' of auditions. 471 00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:14,370 Hey, Shawn, I got an audition today. 472 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,350 You think you can let me off early? 473 00:21:16,383 --> 00:21:19,173 - What's it for? - Kunta Cola. 474 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,230 Ah, shoot! 475 00:21:20,266 --> 00:21:22,126 Hey, no. Listen, listen, this is the slogan. 476 00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:24,126 Listen, I'm in shackles right and I go 477 00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:29,826 Kunta Cola, The Taste Will Set You Free. 478 00:21:29,116 --> 00:21:30,996 Wait, well, uh, uh, wait, wait.. 479 00:21:31,330 --> 00:21:32,250 [stammering] How about this one? 480 00:21:32,283 --> 00:21:37,003 Kunta Cola, It's Cotton-Pickin' Good. 481 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:38,370 [blabbering] 482 00:21:40,116 --> 00:21:42,996 I'll chop my foot off for one of these. 483 00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:47,350 I'm only jokin', y'all. I'm only jokin'. 484 00:21:47,383 --> 00:21:51,323 It ain't for Kunta Cola. It's for watermelon juice. 485 00:21:55,283 --> 00:21:58,153 ♪ Wap-baap-do-do-da-ru-ru ru-ru-ra-ru ♪ 486 00:21:58,183 --> 00:22:02,663 ♪ Baap-baap-do-do-da-ru ru-ru-ru-ra-ru ♪ 487 00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:06,120 ♪ Baap-baap-do-do-da-ru-ru ru-ru-ra-ru ♪ 488 00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:10,660 ♪ Baap-baap-do-do-da-ru ru-ru-ru-ra-ru ♪ 489 00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:14,660 ♪ Baap-baap-do-do-da-ru-ru ru-ru-ra-ru ♪ 490 00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:17,160 ♪ Baap-baap-do-do-da-ru ru-ru-ru-ra-ru ♪ 491 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:19,660 [scatting] 492 00:22:21,266 --> 00:22:25,196 ♪ Baap-baap-do-do-da-ru-ru ru-ru-ra-ru ♪♪ 493 00:22:25,233 --> 00:22:28,123 (Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say cheese. 36386

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