Original subtitles

Narrator: IN EVERY GENERATION THERE IS A CHOSEN ONE.

SHE ALONE WILL STAND AGAINST THE VAMPIRES,

THE DEMONS, AND THE FORCES OF DARKNESS.

SHE IS THE SLAYER.

A LOT OF EDUCATORS TELL STUDENTS,

"THINK OF YOUR PRINCIPAL AS YOUR PAL."

I SAY, THINK OF ME AS YOUR JUDGE, JURY, AND EXECUTIONER.

TELL ME,

WHO DO YOU THINK

IS THE MOST TROUBLESOME STUDENT IN THIS SCHOOL?

WELL, IT IS QUITE A MATCH BETWEEN YOU TWO.

ON THE ONE HAND,

BUFFY HASN'T STABBED A HORTICULTURE TEACHER WITH A TROWEL.

I DIDN'T STAB ANYONE WITH A TROWEL.

THEY WERE PRUNING SHEARS.

ON THE OTHER HAND,

SHEILA HAS NEVER BURNED DOWN A SCHOOL BUILDING.

WELL, THAT WAS NEVER PROVEN.

THE FIRE MARSHAL SAID IT COULD'VE BEEN MICE.

MICE.

MICE THAT WERE SMOKING?

THE TWO OF YOU SEEM TO BE TIED

IN THE CLASS-CUTTING AND FIGHT-STARTING EVENTS.

YOU REALLY ARE NECK AND NECK HERE.

IT'S QUITE EXCITING.

WHAT DOES THE WINNER GET?

EXPELLED.

THURSDAY IS PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT.

YOUR PARENTS, ASSUMING YOU HAVE ANY,

WILL MEET YOUR TEACHERS,

ASSUMING YOU HAVE ANY LEFT.

I'VE DECIDED TO PUT THE TWO OF YOU IN CHARGE OF THIS EVENT.

YOU HAVE 3 DAYS TO PREPARE THE REFRESHMENTS,

MAKE THE BANNERS,

AND TRANSFORM THE SCHOOL LOUNGE

INTO A HABITABLE PLACE FOR ADULTS.

THIS WILL INCUR MY GOODWILL...

AND MAY AFFECT WHAT I TELL YOUR PARENTS WHEN I MEET THEM.

ARE WE CLEAR?

I'M CLEAR.

DON'T YOU FEEL CLEAR?

WE'RE VERY CLEAR.

GOOD, BECAUSE YOU MESS UP THIS TIME,

AND YOUR PARENTS WILL BE COMING

TO CLEAN OUT YOUR LOCKERS.

WELL, IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD.

WE CAN WORK ON THE BANNERS AT LUNCH TOMORROW

AND FIGURE OUT REFRESHMENTS THEN?

YEAH, SURE. WHATEVER.

HEY, MEATPIE!

SNYDER'S GOT YOU GUYS MAKING PARTY FAVORS, HUH?

HIS 2 WORST STUDENTS.

THAT'S WHAT MY MOM SEES WHEN SHE LOOKS AT ME--

A SHEILA.

WELL, SHEILA'S DEFINITELY INTENSE.

THAT GUY WITH HER,

THAT'S THE GUY SHE CAN BRING HOME TO MOTHER.

SHE WAS ALREADY SMOKING IN FIFTH GRADE.

ONCE I WAS LOOK-OUT FOR HER.

YOU'RE BAD TO THE BONE.

I'M A REBEL.

IT'S NOT FAIR. I'M A SLAYER.

IT REQUIRES A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF CUTTING AND FIGHTING.

WHAT'S SHEILA'S EXCUSE?

HOMEWORK. SHE WON'T DO IT.

AND MOST TEACHERS RESPECT THAT NOW.

OH, YOU MIGHT WANT TO KEEP AWAY

ANY SHARP IMPLEMENTS WHEN YOU'RE WORKING WITH HER.

DO YOU THINK ANY OTHER SLAYERS

EVER HAD TO GO TO HIGH SCHOOL?

IT'S NO BIGGIE. YOU'LL HAVE A NICE SOIRéE.

THE PARENTS WILL LOVE IT.

AS LONG AS NOTHING REALLY BAD HAPPENS

BETWEEN NOW AND THEN, YOU'LL BE FINE.

ARE YOU CRAZY? WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?

NOW SOMETHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? NOTHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

NOT UNTIL SOME DUMMY SAYS,

"AS LONG AS NOTHING BAD HAPPENS."

IT'S THE ULTIMATE JINX.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

OR WERE YOU EVEN THINKING AT ALL?

WELL, YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE THIS TIME IT'LL BE DIFFERENT.

[SCREECH]

[INHALES]

[EXHALES]

HOME, SWEET HOME.

[HOWLING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

THE MASTER IS DEAD.

SOMEONE HAS TO TAKE HIS PLACE.

AS LONG AS THE SLAYER'S ALIVE,

WHOEVER TAKES HIS PLACE WILL BE SHARING HIS GRAVE.

THEN LET THE SOUL WHO KILLS HER WEAR HIS MANTLE.

CAN YOU DO IT?

YES.

THIS WEEKEND,

THE NIGHT OF ST. VIGEOUS,

OUR POWER SHALL BE AT ITS PEAK.

WHEN I KILL HER,

IT'LL BE THE GREATEST EVENT SINCE THE CRUCIFIXION.

AND I SHOULD KNOW.

I WAS THERE.

YOU WERE THERE?

OH, PLEASE!

IF EVERY VAMPIRE WHO SAID HE WAS AT THE CRUCIFIXION

WAS ACTUALLY THERE,

IT WOULD'VE BEEN LIKE WOODSTOCK.

I OUGHT TO RIP YOUR THROAT OUT.

I WAS ACTUALLY AT WOODSTOCK.

THAT WAS A WEIRD GIG.

I FED OFF A FLOWER PERSON,

AND I SPENT THE NEXT 6 HOURS WATCHING MY HAND MOVE.

OH!

SO, WHO DO YOU KILL FOR FUN AROUND HERE?

WHO ARE YOU?

SPIKE.

YOU'RE THAT ANOINTED GUY.

I READ ABOUT YOU.

YOU'VE GOT SLAYER PROBLEMS.

THAT'S A BAD PIECE OF LUCK.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FOUND WORKED REAL GOOD WITH SLAYERS?

KILLING THEM.

CAN YOU?

A LOT FASTER THAN NANCY BOY THERE.

YEAH, I DID A COUPLE OF SLAYERS IN MY TIME.

I DON'T LIKE TO BRAG.

WHO AM I KIDDING?

I LOVE TO BRAG!

THERE WAS THIS ONE SLAYER DURING THE BOXER REBELLION,

AND--

DRUSILLA.

YOU SHOULDN'T BE WALKING AROUND.

YOU'RE WEAK.

LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE.

ARE THESE NICE PEOPLE?

WE'RE GETTING ALONG.

THIS ONE HAS POWER.

I COULD FEEL IT FROM THE OUTSIDE.

YEAH. HE'S THE BIG NOISE IN THESE PARTS,

ANOINTED AND ALL THAT.

DO YOU LIKE DAISIES?

HMM?

I PLANT THEM, BUT THEY ALWAYS DIE.

EVERYTHING I PUT IN THE GROUND WITHERS AND DIES.

SPIKE, I'M COLD.

I GOT YOU.

I'M A PRINCESS.

THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.

ME AND DRU, WE'RE MOVING IN.

NOW, ANY OF YOU WANT TO TEST

WHO'S GOT THE BIGGEST WRINKLIES AROUND HERE,

STEP ON UP.

I'LL DO YOUR SLAYER FOR YOU,

BUT YOU KEEP YOUR FLUNKIES

FROM TRYING ANYTHING BEHIND MY BACK.

DEAL?

I CAN'T SEE HER.

THE SLAYER. I CAN'T SEE.

IT'S DARK WHERE SHE IS.

KILL HER.

KILL HER, SPIKE.

KILL HER FOR ME?

IT'S DONE, BABY.

KILL HER FOR PRINCESS?

I'LL CHOP HER INTO MESSES.

YOU ARE MY SWEET.

MY LITTLE SPIKE.

SO, HOW ABOUT THIS SLAYER?

IS SHE TOUGH?

OW!

WHAT'S WRONG?

I SPENT A GOOD PART OF MY ALLOWANCE

ON THIS NEW CREAM RINSE,

AND IT'S NEITHER CREAMY NOR RINSEY.

LIFE IS HARD, DEAR.

DON'T I KNOW IT.

IS THAT A SPLIT END?

I GOT THE MAIL.

GOOD.

WHICH INCLUDED A REMINDER NOTICE ABOUT PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT

THURSDAY.

THAT'S GOOD.

WHICH YOU WERE PLANNING ON TELLING ME ABOUT...

OH, FOR...

THE LAST 2 WEEKS.

UH-HUH.

SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK

YOUR TEACHERS ARE GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT YOU?

WELL, I THINK THEY'LL ALL AGREE

THAT I ALWAYS BRING A PEN TO CLASS,

READY TO ABSORB THE KNOWLEDGE.

AND THIS ABSORPTION RATE,

HOW IS IT REFLECTED IN YOUR HOMEWORK AND TEST SCORES?

WHAT CAN YOU REALLY TELL ABOUT A PERSON

FROM A TEST SCORE?

WHETHER OR NOT SHE'S EVER

GOING OUT WITH HER FRIENDS AGAIN.

OH, THAT.

WELL, I LOOK FORWARD TO MEETING YOUR PRINCIPAL.

WON'T THAT BE SOMETHING?

LOOK, SWEETHEART, LIFE IS MORE THAN GRADES AND HOMEWORK

AND NOT GETTING KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL,

BUT WE MOVED ONCE

BECAUSE OF YOU GETTING IN TROUBLE,

AND I HAD TO START A NEW BUSINESS,

NOT TO MENTION A NEW LIFE

IN A WHOLE NEW TOWN.

AND YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT AGAIN.

WHAT I DON'T WANT

IS TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU AGAIN.

MOM, THAT'S THE LAST THING THAT I WANT, TOO.

I'M TRYING.

I REALLY AM. I JUST--

I HAVE A LOT OF PRESSURE ON ME RIGHT NOW.

WAIT TILL YOU GET A JOB.

SLEEP TIGHT.

I HAVE A JOB.

SHEILA'S A NO-SHOW?

SHE GOES TO THIS REALLY RANK BAR, THE FISH TANK.

SOMETIMES THEY HAVE RAIDS AND OTHER STUFF THAT COULD MAKE YOU TARDY.

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HELP ME CRAM SOME FRENCH TONIGHT?

I DON'T WANT MR. DeJEAN TELLING MY MOTHER I'M AN IMBECILE.

I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO THE BRONZE TONIGHT,

'CAUSE OF HOW YOU THOUGHT ANGEL MIGHT SHOW?

IF HE DOES, HE'LL MEET SOME OTHER NICE GIRL.

STUDYING COMES FIRST.

WE'RE GOING TO THE BRONZE.

I CAN STUDY AND PARTY AND DO PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT

AND MAKE MY MOTHER PROUD AS LONG AS I DON'T HAVE TO--

Giles: BUFFY?

FIGHT VAMPIRES.

THERE IS NOTHING IN THE CHRONICLES

ABOUT AN EXTRANEOUS LUNAR CYCLE.

THE ORDER NEVER ACCURATELY CALCULATED THE MESOPOTAMIAN CALENDAR.

RUPERT, YOU HAVE GOT TO READ SOMETHING

THAT WAS PUBLISHED AFTER 1066.

VERY FUNNY.

WHAT'S THE UP, GUYS?

MS. CALENDAR HAS BEEN RESEARCHING--

WELL, SURFING ON HER COMPUTER,

AND SHE'S-- WELL, ACCORDING TO HER CALCULATIONS,

THIS SATURDAY IS THE NIGHT OF ST. VIGEOUS.

LET ME GUESS. HE DIDN'T MAKE BALLOON ANIMALS.

NO. HE LED A CRUSADE OF--OF VAMPIRES.

THEY SWEPT THROUGH EDESSA, HARRAN, AND POINTS EAST.

AND THEY DIDN'T LEAVE MUCH BEHIND.

WELL, IF I SURVIVE PARENT/TEACHER NIGHT TOMORROW,

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO ABOUT SATURDAY.

YOU'RE BEING A TAD FLIP, DON'T YOU THINK?

THIS IS SERIOUS.

AND GETTING KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL IS LAUGHS APLENTY?

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS--

WHEN YOU LET YOUR LIFE INTERFERE WITH YOUR SLAYING.

OK, WELL, IF MY SLAYING DOESN'T GET ME EXPELLED,

THEN I PROMISE MY BANNER-MAKING WON'T GET ME KILLED, OK?

JUST, PLEASE, LET ME GET THROUGH THIS WEEK.

THIS SATURDAY'S GOING TO NEED A GREAT DEAL OF PREPARATION.

WELL, WE'LL HELP.

YEAH, I'LL WHITTLE STAKES.

AND I CAN RESEARCH STUFF.

AND WHILE I'M WHITTLING,

I PLAN TO WHISTLE A JAUNTY TUNE.

YOUR HELP WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED,

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO BATTLE,

BUFFY MUST FIGHT ALONE. YOU ARE, AFTER ALL, THE SLAY--

Ms. Calendar: AHEM!

SLAY--UH...

SLAVES-- YOU'RE ALL SLAVES TO THE, UH, TELEVISION.

YES.

YOUNG PEOPLE NOWADAYS. SHALL WE GO?

LET'S.

YOU WOULDN'T BE HELPING BUFFY

IN SHEILA'S PLACE, WOULD YOU?

NO.

WE'RE HINDERING.

SHE DITCHED.

HMM!

I FEEL AN EXPULSION COMING ON.

NO, NO, ACTUALLY, SHEILA'S BEEN HELPING US FOR HOURS.

SHE JUST WENT OUT TO GET SOME MORE PAINT.

OH! OH, IS THERE NO MORE TEAL IN THE ART ROOM?

I KNOW YOU WANTED EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT,

BUT LET'S JUST GO WITH WHAT WE HAVE.

JUST MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS PERFECT ON THURSDAY.

THANKS FOR COVERING. THAT GUY'S A SERIOUS RODENT.

NO PROBLEM.

DID YOU REALLY BURN DOWN A SCHOOL BUILDING ONE TIME?

WELL, NOT ACTUALLY ONE TIME.

COOL.

♪ A DRINK YOU CAN'T RESIST. ♪

LE VACHE DOIT ME TOUCHE DE LA JEUDI.

WAS IT WRONG?

SHOULD I USE THE PLURAL?

NO, BUT YOU SAID, "THE COW SHOULD TOUCH ME FROM THURSDAY."

MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I WAS FEELING.

AND YOU SAID IT WRONG.

OH, JE STINK.

YOU'RE JUST NOT FOCUSED.

IT'S ANGEL MISSAGE.

WELL, HE DIDN'T SAY FOR SURE.

IT WAS A "MAYBE SEE YOU THERE" KIND OF DEAL.

GUYS, I'M ALL ALONE OUT THERE.

SOMEBODY HAS TO DANCE WITH ME.

WELL, WE ARE STUDYING.

COME ON, ONE DANCE.

YOU'VE BEEN STUDYING NEARLY 12 MINUTES.

NO WONDER MY BRAIN'S FRIED.

COME ON.

♪ I-- I-- I...♪

♪ DID A STUPID THING LAST NIGHT. ♪

♪ I CALLED YOU ♪

♪ A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS. ♪

♪ NO, NOT A MOMENT. ♪

♪ MORE LIKE THREE MONTHS OF WEAKNESS. ♪

♪ I'M ONE STEP AWAY ♪

♪ FROM CRASHING TO MY KNEES. ♪

♪ ONE STEP AWAY ♪

♪ FROM SPILLING MY GUTS ♪

♪ TO YOU. ♪

GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.

WHERE'S THE PHONE?

I NEED TO CALL THE POLICE.

THERE'S SOME BIG GUY OUT THERE TRYING TO BITE SOMEONE.

SLAYER.

SLAYEE.

GET HER OUT OF HERE!

AND A STAKE WOULD BE NICE!

I DON'T NEED TO WAIT FOR ST. VIGEOUS.

YOU'RE MINE.

SPIKE, GIVE ME A HAND.

BUFFY!

[CLAPPING]

NICE WORK, LOVE.

WHO ARE YOU?

YOU'LL FIND OUT ON SATURDAY.

WHAT HAPPENS ON SATURDAY?

I KILL YOU.

ALL RIGHT. WHICH ONE'S DWAYNE AND WHICH ONE'S DELL?

DON'T TELL ME.

DELL'S THE ONE WITH THE TATTOOS.

YOU GUYS WEREN'T LYING ABOUT HAVING A CADILLAC, WERE YOU?

'CAUSE I'M CRAZY ABOUT A CAD.

JUST THE FEEL OF THE LEATHER MAKES ME WANT TO...

WHERE'D YOU GO?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?

NOT FUNNY!

WHO ARE YOU?

WHO DO YOU WANT ME TO BE?

DID YOU SEE...

THOSE 2 LOSERS

WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?

WHAT HAPPENED TO 'EM?

THEY GOT SLEEPY.

HUH?

AND YOU GOT SOMETHING A WHOLE LOT BETTER.

HEY, WAIT UP.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

Giles: SPIKE...

THAT'S WHAT THE OTHER VAMPIRE CALLED HIM?

IT'S A LITTLE UNORTHODOX, ISN'T IT?

MAYBE HE'S REFORM.

PERHAPS HE WENT BY ANOTHER NAME IN TIMES PAST.

WELL, WHOEVER HE IS, WE'LL NEED ALL THE HELP

WE CAN GET COME THIS SATURDAY.

SO THIS NIGHT OF ST. VIGEOUS DEAL,

IF THEY'RE GOING TO ATTACK IN FORCE,

AREN'T WE THINKING VACATION?

WE CAN'T RUN. THAT WOULD BE WRONG.

COULD WE HIDE?

I MEAN, IF THAT SPIKE GUY IS LEADING THE ATTACK...

YEEE!

HE CAN'T BE ANY WORSE THAN ANY OTHER

CREATURES YOU'VE FACED.

Angel: HE'S WORSE.

ONCE HE STARTS SOMETHING, HE DOESN'T STOP

UNTIL EVERYTHING IN HIS PATH IS DEAD.

HMM. SO HE'S THOROUGH, GOAL-ORIENTED.

WE WERE AT THE BRONZE BEFORE.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU MIGHT SHOW.

YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T SURE IF YOU WERE GOING.

I WAS BEING COOL.

COME ON. YOU'VE BEEN DATING FOR WHAT, LIKE 200 YEARS?

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A GIRL MEANS

WHEN SHE SAYS MAYBE SHE'LL SHOW?

WOW. 2 CENTURIES OF DATING.

IF YOU ONLY HAD 2 A YEAR, THAT'S STILL, LIKE,

400 DATES WITH 400 DIFFERENT--

WHY DO THEY CALL IT A MACE?

WE DO HAVE SLIGHTLY MORE URGENT MATTERS TO DISCUSS.

YEAH, LIKE KEEPING MY MOM AWAY FROM PRINCIPAL SNYDER

TOMORROW NIGHT?

YEAH, AND NOT DYING SATURDAY.

ANGEL, DO YOU KNOW IF THIS SPIKE FELLOW

GOES UNDER ANY OTHER NAME?

OK, THAT'S IT.

I'M PUTTING A COLLAR WITH A LITTLE BELL ON THAT GUY.

[CHANTING]

Drusilla: MISS EDITH SPEAKS OUT OF TURN.

SHE'S A BAD EXAMPLE

AND WILL HAVE NO CAKES TODAY.

SHH!

DARLING, ARE YOU GOING TO EAT SOMETHING?

I'M NOT HUNGRY.

I MISS PRAGUE.

YOU NEARLY DIED IN PRAGUE.

IDIOT MOB.

THIS IS THE PLACE FOR US.

THE HELLMOUTH WILL RESTORE YOU,

PUT COLOR IN YOUR CHEEKS,

METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING,

AND IN A FEW WEEKS' TIME...

THE STARS WILL ALIGN AND SMILE DOWN ON US.

AND THEN, GOD, THIS TOWN WILL BURN.

HA HA HA. A PRETTY FIRE.

THEY'RE PREPARING.

ST. VIGEOUS IS COMING UP.

SHOULD BE A PARTY.

YOU SHOULD GO UP WITH THEM AND CLEANSE.

DRU!

THE BOY DOESN'T TRUST YOU.

THEY FOLLOW HIM.

I THINK SOMETIMES THAT ALL MY HAIR WILL FALL OUT,

AND I'LL BE BALD.

NEVER HAPPEN.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL GO UP AND GET SHANTY WITH THE FELLAS,

BUT YOU GOT TO DO ME ONE FAVOR.

EAT SOMETHING.

YOU SEE, MISS EDITH,

IF YOU'D BEEN GOOD, YOU COULD WATCH WITH THE REST.

"3 NIGHTS THE UNHOLY ONES SCOURGE THEMSELVES

"INTO A FURY,

CULMINATING IN A SAVAGE ATTACK ON THE NIGHT OF ST. VIGEOUS."

DOES ANYBODY REMEMBER WHEN SATURDAY NIGHT MEANT DATE NIGHT?

YOU SURE DON'T.

OOH. PARENTS ARE ARRIVING IN AN HOUR.

OK, SO, UM, BANNERS ARE IN PLACE,

THE LOUNGE IS COMFY. WHAT AM I FORGETTING?

PUNCH?

PUNCH! I NEED PUNCH!

MY FINGERS ARE CRAMPING. HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN DOING THIS?

3 MINUTES.

SO CAN I GO NOW?

SHE DOESN'T NEED THIS MANY STAKES.

I MEAN, IF THIS GUY SPIKE IS AS MEAN AS YOU ALL SAID,

IT SHOULD BE OVER PRETTY QUICKLY.

WE'RE STILL ALL ROOTING FOR YOU ON SATURDAY.

I'D BE THERE FOR YOU MYSELF,

IF I DIDN'T HAVE A LEG WAX.

YOU GUYS HOLD DOWN THE FORT.

I'M PUNCH BOUND.

NO.

WHAT KIND OF PUNCH DID YOU MAKE?

UH, LEMONADE.

I MADE IT FRESH AND EVERYTHING.

HOW MUCH SUGAR DID YOU USE?

SUGAR?

IT'S VERY GOOD.

OK. NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO

IS KEEP MY MOTHER AND SNYDER FROM CROSSING PATHS

FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT.

HI, MRS. SUMMERS.

HI, WILLOW. HI, HONEY.

DID YOU, UH, DO ALL THIS?

YEAH! UM, HERE. HAVE SOME LEMONADE.

RIGHT AFTER WILLOW SHOWS YOU THE LIBRARY.

I HAVE TO STAY HERE AND HOSTESS.

RIGHT, THE LIBRARY.

WELL, NO. GILES AND EVERYONE...

IS LOCKED IN THERE STUDYING.

RIGHT. FRENCH CLASS IT IS.

WAS THAT YOUR MOTHER?

HERE. OH!

OH, SORRY.

UM, YEAH. YEAH. I WAS GOING TO INTRODUCE YOU,

BUT SHE WOULDN'T HAVE SAID MUCH.

YOU KNOW, SHE DOESN'T SPEAK A WORD OF ENGLISH.

GILES HAS US LOCKED UP IN THAT LIBRARY

WORKING ON YOUR WEAPONS.

EVEN SLAVES GET MINIMUM WAGE.

WHAT?

YOU'RE STARTING TO LOOK A LITTLE SLAGGED.

WHAT, ARE YOU JUST SKIPPING FOUNDATION ENTIRELY NOW?

CORDELIA, I HAVE AT LEAST 3 LIVES TO CONTEND WITH,

NONE OF WHICH REALLY MESH.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE OIL AND WATER

AND A THIRD UNMESHABLE THING.

YEAH, AND I CAN SEE THE OIL.

IS THAT YOUR MOM?

NOW, THAT IS A WOMAN THAT KNOWS HOW TO MOISTURIZE.

DID IT, LIKE, SKIP A GENERATION?

WELL, I BELIEVE THAT I HAVE SEEN

EVERY CLASSROOM ON CAMPUS.

AND JUST AS I GET THERE,

ALL YOUR TEACHERS MIRACULOUSLY HAVE STEPPED OUT.

OH. OH.

UM, BUT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE BOILER ROOM YET,

AND YOU KNOW, THAT'S REALLY INTERESTING,

WHAT WITH THE BOILER BEING IN THE ROOM AND ALL.

HI, I'M JOYCE SUMMERS. I'M BUFFY'S MOTHER.

PRINCIPAL SNYDER.

I'M AFRAID WE NEED TO TALK.

MY OFFICE IS DOWN HERE.

HE DIDN'T LOOK VERY HAPPY.

BUT YOU DID SUCH A GOOD JOB.

WHEN THEY'RE DONE TALKING...

WHAT?

MY GUESS?

10th HIGH SCHOOL REUNION,

YOU'LL STILL BE GROUNDED.

CORDELIA, HAVE SOME LEMONADE.

OH, THERE YOU ARE.

THERE WHO IS?

OUR NEW FRIEND SPIKE.

HE'S KNOWN AS WILLIAM THE BLOODY.

EARNED HIS NICKNAME BY TORTURING HIS VICTIMS WITH RAILROAD SPIKES.

VERY PLEASANT.

OH, HERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS.

HE'S BARELY 200.

HE'S NOT EVEN AS OLD AS ANGEL.

UH-OH.

THAT'S A BAD LOOK, RIGHT?

I THINK YOUR SUGGESTION OF RUNNING AWAY THIS SATURDAY

MIGHT'VE BEEN A GOOD ONE.

SPIKE HAS FOUGHT 2 SLAYERS IN THE LAST CENTURY, AND...

HE'S KILLED THEM BOTH.

IN THE CAR, NOW.

WHAT CAN I SAY?

I COULDN'T WAIT.

COME ON!

NOBODY GETS OUT, ESPECIALLY THE GIRL!

EVERYBODY, THIS WAY. COME ON! COME ON!

AAH!

AAH! AAH! AAH!

COME ON.

OH!

WHAT THE HELL?

IT'S SPIKE AND AN ARMY!

LOOK OUT!

AAH!

BACK!

IN HERE! NOW!

ARRGGH!

ARRGGH!

WE CUT THE POWER. NOBODY GOT OUT.

AND THE SLAYER?

SHE EITHER WENT THAT WAY OR THAT WAY.

I SAW 2 OTHERS.

YOU DON'T KNOW?!

I'M A VEAL KIND OF GUY.

YOU'RE TOO OLD TO EAT.

BUT NOT TO KILL.

I FEEL BETTER.

THEY'VE CUT THE PHONES.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THERE'S AN OLD BOARDED-UP CELLAR

BEHIND THE STACKS.

YOU CAN GET OUT THAT WAY.

FIND ANGEL. HE KNOWS ABOUT SPIKE. WE NEED HIM.

NO, I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE

UNTIL I KNOW THAT BUFFY AND WILLOW ARE ALL RIGHT.

NO ONE WILL BE ALL RIGHT UNLESS WE GET SOME HELP.

WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE? WHAT DO THEY WANT?

I DIDN'T GET MUCH OF A LOOK,

BUT IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEIR FACES?

YES!

PCP.

IT'S A GANG ON PCP.

WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!

YOU CAN'T GO OUTSIDE! THEY'LL KILL YOU!

YOU DON'T TELL ME! I TELL YOU.

THEY WILL KILL EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM.

NOBODY GOES OUT, NOBODY COME IN

UNTIL I SAY SO. DO YOU HEAR ME?

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

I'M THE ONE THAT KNOWS HOW TO STOP THEM.

BUFFY, ARE YOU CRAZY?

LOOK, I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN ACCUSED OF FIGHTING AND OTHER THINGS,

BUT THOSE GUYS ARE SERIOUS.

YOU CAN'T GO OUT THERE.

I KNOW. THAT'S WHY I'M GOING UP THERE.

DON'T WORRY, MOM.

♪ SLAYER ♪

HERE, KITTY, KITTY.

I FIND ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS FIRST,

I'M GONNA SUCK HIM DRY...

AND USE THEIR BONES TO BASH YOUR HEAD IN.

ARE YOU GETTING A WORD PICTURE HERE?

OH, GOD. OH, GOD.

SPIKE!

LISTEN.

♪ SOMEONE'S IN THE CEILING ♪

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THERE ARE AT LEAST 3 VAMPIRES IN THAT HALL!

GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW MANY OTHERS IN THE BUILDING!

LISTEN, I AM THE WATCHER.

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR HER,

AND I HAVE TO GO.

RUPERT...

BE CAREFUL.

PUSH THESE BACK AS SOON AS I'M--

BUFFY.

YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

HOW ARE THE OTHERS?

PRINCIPAL SNYDER, MY MOTHER, AND 4 OTHERS

ARE LOCKED IN THE SCIENCE ROOM ACROSS THE HALL.

WILLOW AND CORDELIA RAN THE OTHER WAY.

I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE-- WHERE'S XANDER?

HE GOT OUT THROUGH THE STACKS. HE'S GETTING ANGEL.

GOOD. OK, I'M GOING TO TAKE THE VAMPS OUT IN THE HALL.

AFTER THAT, YOU GET MY MOM AND THE OTHERS OUT THE SAME WAY.

LET ME HELP YOU.

GILES, MY MOTHER'S IN THAT ROOM.

IF I DON'T MAKE IT OUT OF HERE,

I KNOW YOU'LL MAKE SURE SHE DOES.

BLOODY RIGHT, I WILL.

FAIR ENOUGH. WHAT'S YOUR PLAN?

WELL, THEY SPLIT UP TO HOLD US HERE,

SO I'M GONNA TAKE 'EM ONE ON ONE.

SET 'EM UP... AND KNOCK 'EM DOWN.

WATCH YOUR BACK.

WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN?

THIS IS MY SCHOOL.

WHAT I SAY GOES, AND I SAY THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.

WELL, THEN, I GUESS THE DANGER'S OVER.

I'M NOT WAITING FOR THEM TO OPEN THE DOORS.

I'M GETTIN' OUT!

DON'T BE AN IDIOT.

I'M BEGINNING TO SEE A CERTAIN MOTHER/DAUGHTER RESEMBLANCE.

NO! LOOK, YOU HEARD WHAT BUFFY SAID.

SHE'S A STUDENT. WHAT DOES SHE KNOW?

THE, UH, DOOR IS SOLID.

USE YOUR HEAD.

YOU! COME WITH ME!

AH! I DID IT!

HE'S GOT ME! HELP! HELP!

[SCREAMING]

YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT THIS SPIKE GUY, SO, UM,

YOU GOT A PLAN?

GOOD PLAN.

I THINK HE'S GONE.

HE COULD COME BACK.

[SIGHS] WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

PRAY?

HEY! GUARD THE DOOR!

I'M ALMOST IN.

BUFFY, ARE YOU OK?

I'M FINE, MOM.

BUFFY, LOOK, GET OUT OF HERE, OK?

WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

LOOK, JUST HANG ON FOR ONE MORE MINUTE

UNTIL I TELL YOU TO OPEN THE DOOR.

[WHISPERING] SHEILA! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

SORRY I'M LATE.

THERE'S SOME REALLY WEIRD GUYS OUTSIDE.

SHH! YEAH, I KNOW.

THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL US.

THIS SHOULD BE FUN.

ANGELUS!

YEAH! SPIKE.

[LAUGHS] I'LL BE DAMNED!

I TAUGHT YOU TO ALWAYS GUARD YOUR PERIMETER.

TSK TSK TSK.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SOMEONE OUT THERE.

I DID. I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS.

WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU?

EVERYTHING.

YEAH? COME UP AGAINST THIS SLAYER YET?

SHE'S CUTE.

NOT TOO BRIGHT, THOUGH.

GAVE THE PUPPY DOG "I'M ALL TORTURED" ACT.

KEEPS HER OFF MY BACK WHEN I FEED.

HA HA! PEOPLE STILL FALL FOR THAT ANNE RICE ROUTINE?

WHAT A WORLD.

I KNEW YOU WERE LYING, UNDEAD... LIAR GUY.

WANT A BITE BEFORE WE KILL HER? HMM?

STAY BEHIND ME.

Giles: BUFFY, LOOK OUT!

MOM, NOW!

COME ON, LET'S GO.

GET THEM OUT!

YOU'RE COMING, TOO.

IN A MINUTE. GO!

BUFFY!

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN THE KILLING FIELDS FOR AN AGE.

I'M NOT MUCH FOR COMPANY.

NO. YOU NEVER WERE.

SO, WHY ARE YOU SO SCARED OF THIS SLAYER?

SCARED?

YEAH. TIME WAS YOU WOULD HAVE TAKEN HER OUT

IN A HEARTBEAT.

NOW LOOK AT YOU.

I MEAN, THIS TORTURED THING IS AN ACT, RIGHT?

YOU'RE NOT... HOUSEBROKEN?

I SAW HER KILL THE MASTER.

HEY, YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE HER ALONE?

BE MY GUEST.

I'LL JUST FEED AND RUN.

NOW, DON'T BE SILLY.

WE'RE ALL FRIENDS. WE'LL DO IT TOGETHER.

LET'S DRINK TO IT.

NO...NO...

YOU THINK YOU CAN FOOL ME?!

YOU WERE MY SIRE, MAN! YOU WERE MY... YODA!

THINGS CHANGE.

NOT US! NOT DEMONS.

MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. YOU UNCLE TOM!

COME ON, PEOPLE.

THIS ISN'T A SPECTATOR SPORT!

FE, FI, FO, FUM.

I SMELL THE BLOOD OF A NICE...RIPE...GIRL.

DO WE REALLY NEED WEAPONS FOR THIS?

I JUST LIKE THEM.

THEY MAKE ME FEEL ALL MANLY.

THE LAST SLAYER I KILLED...

SHE BEGGED FOR HER LIFE.

YOU DON'T STRIKE ME

AS THE BEGGING KIND.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE.

NO. I MESSED UP YOUR DOILIES AND STUFF.

BUT I JUST GOT SO BORED.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

AS A PERSONAL FAVOR FROM ME TO YOU,

I'LL MAKE IT QUICK.

IT WON'T HURT A BIT.

NO, SPIKE. IT'S GONNA HURT A LOT.

COME ON, EVERYONE. THIS WAY.

NOW, THAT HURT...

BUT NOT AS MUCH AS THIS WILL.

YOU GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER.

WOMEN!

NOBODY LAYS A HAND ON MY LITTLE GIRL.

TAKE CARE OF THIS.

HELLO, BOB.

IT'S OVER. THEY ALL GOT AWAY.

I GOT A BODY INSIDE, AND I GOT ANOTHER ONE ON THE SOUTH LAWN.

IT LOOKS LIKE HE WAS PULLED RIGHT THROUGH THE WINDOW.

I TOLD HIM NOT TO GO THROUGH THAT WINDOW.

WELL, ANOTHER WONDERFUL FUN-FILLED EVENING.

EH, YES. YOU KNOWN, UM,

I WILL UNDERSTAND IF YOU DECIDE TO START AVOIDING ME.

SO WHEN YOU GAVE HIM MY NECK TO CHEW ON,

WHY DIDN'T YOU CLOCK HIM BEFORE HE HAD A CHANCE TO CLOCK YOU?

I TOLD YOU, I COULDN'T MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.

I HAD TO SEE IF HE WAS BUYING IT OR NOT.

AND IF HE'D BIT ME, WHAT THEN?

WE WOULD HAVE KNOWN HE BOUGHT IT.

HEY, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH YOU BEING SPIKE'S SIRE?

WHAT'S A SIRE?

I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING TO THE MEDIA PEOPLE.

SO?

SO...YOU WANT THE USUAL STORY?

GANG-RELATED? PCP?

WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND, THE TRUTH?

RIGHT.

GANG-RELATED. PCP.

SO WHAT DID YOU AND PRINCIPAL SNYDER TALK ABOUT, ANYWAY?

PRINCIPAL SNYDER SAID YOU WERE A TROUBLEMAKER.

AND I COULD CARE LESS.

I HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF...

WHO'S BRAVE AND RESOURCEFUL

AND THINKS OF OTHERS IN A CRISIS.

NO MATTER WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH

OR WHAT DUMB TEENAGE STUFF YOU THINK YOU NEED TO DO,

I'M GONNA SLEEP BETTER KNOWING ALL THAT.

ABOUT HOW LONG TILL THIS WEARS OFF

AND YOU START RAGGING ON ME AGAIN?

OH, AT LEAST A WEEK AND A HALF.

VERY COOL.

Cordelia: AND IF YOU GET ME OUT OF THIS, I SWEAR,

I'LL NEVER BE MEAN TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN.

UNLESS THEY REALLY DESERVE IT.

OR IF IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH,

IN WHICH CASE, I DON'T THINK YOU OR ANYONE ELSE

CAN HOLD ME RESPONSIBLE--

ASK FOR SOME ASPIRIN.

AND CAN YOU PLEASE SEND SOME ASP--HEY.

SPIKE... DID SHE HURT YOU?

IT WAS CLOSE, BABY, BUT...

AW...COME HERE.

A SLAYER WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

THAT SURE AS HELL WASN'T IN THE BROCHURE.

YOU'LL KILL HER.

AND THEN WE'LL HAVE A NICE CELEBRATION.

YEAH, A PARTY.

YEAH, WITH STREAMERS... AND SONGS.

HOW'S THE ANNOYING ONE?

HE DOESN'T WANT TO PLAY.

FIGURES.

WELL, SUPPOSE I BETTER GO MAKE NICE.

YOU FAILED.

I, UM...I OFFER PENANCE.

PENANCE?!

YOU SHOULD LAY DOWN YOUR LIFE!

OUR NUMBERS ARE DEPLETED.

THE FEAST OF ST. VIGEOUS HAS BEEN RUINED BY YOUR IMPATIENCE!

I WAS RASH...

AND IF I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN...

WHO AM I KIDDING?

I WOULD DO IT...

EXACTLY THE SAME.

ONLY I'D DO THIS...

FIRST!

ARRGGH!

FROM NOW ON...

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LITTLE LESS RITUAL...

AND A LITTLE MORE FUN AROUND HERE!

LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON TV.

GRR! ARRGGH!