Original subtitles

Narrator: IN EVERY GENERATION THERE IS A CHOSEN ONE.

SHE ALONE WILL STAND AGAINST THE VAMPIRES,

THE DEMONS, AND THE FORCES OF DARKNESS.

SHE IS THE SLAYER.

COME ON, STEPHAN. RISE AND SHINE.

SOME OF US HAVE A TON OF TRIG HOMEWORK WAITING.

[FOOTSTEPS RUSTLE]

HEY. [GASPS]

IS THIS A BAD TIME?

ARE YOU CRAZY?

YOU DON'T JUST SNEAK UP ON PEOPLE IN A GRAVEYARD.

YOU MAKE NOISE WHEN YOU WALK.

YOU STOMP OR YODEL.

I HEARD YOU WERE ON THE HUNT.

I'M SUPPOSED TO BE,

BUT LAZYBONES HERE DOESN'T WANT TO COME OUT AND PLAY.

WHEN YOU FIRST WAKE UP, IT'S A LITTLE DISORIENTING.

HE'LL SHOW.

IT'S WEIRD TO THINK OF YOU GOING THROUGH THAT.

IT'S WEIRD TO GO THROUGH.

SO, UH, YOU'RE HERE ALONE?

YEAH. WHY?

I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D HAVE SOMEBODY WITH YOU.

XANDER OR SOMEONE.

XANDER.

OR SOMEONE.

NO.

WHY?

ARE YOU JEALOUS?

HA. OF XANDER?

PLEASE. HE'S JUST A KID.

IS IT 'CAUSE I DANCED WITH HIM?

"DANCED WITH" IS A PRETTY LOOSE TERM.

"MADE IT WITH" MIGHT BE A LITTLE CLOSER.

DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE UNFAIR?

IT WAS ONE LITTLE DANCE, WHICH I ONLY DID TO MAKE YOU CRAZY.

BY THE WAY, BEHOLD MY SUCCESS.

I AM NOT JEALOUS.

YOU'RE NOT JEALOUS. WHAT, VAMPIRES DON'T GET JEALOUS?

SEE? WHENEVER WE FIGHT, YOU ALWAYS BRING UP THE VAMPIRE THING.

I DIDN'T COME HERE TO FIGHT.

OOH!

OH, RIGHT. I DID.

WHERE'S MY STAKE?

I KNOW I HAD A STAKE.

Angel: I DIDN'T SEE YOUR STAKE.

OHH! OH!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "HE'S JUST A KID"?

DOES THAT MEAN I'M JUST A KID, TOO?

LOOK, OBVIOUSLY I MADE A MISTAKE COMING HERE TONIGHT.

OH, NO, YOU DON'T.

YOU CAN'T JUST TURN AND WALK AWAY FROM ME LIKE THAT.

IT TAKES MORE THAN THAT TO GET RID OF ME.

OH!

YOU OK?

I'M FINE.

GEE, I WISH PEOPLE WOULDN'T LEAVE OPEN GRAVES LAYING AROUND LIKE THIS.

SO...

OOH.

ANOTHER VAMPIRE HAS RISEN TONIGHT.

I DON'T THINK SO. LOOK AT THOSE TRACKS.

WHOEVER WAS BURIED HERE

DIDN'T RISE FROM THIS GRAVE.

SHE WAS DRAGGED FROM IT.

[HOWLING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

Giles: WHAT I'M PROPOSING IS,

AND I DON'T MEAN TO APPEAR INDECOROUS,

IS, UM, A SOCIAL ENGAGEMENT,

A--A DATE, IF YOU'RE AMENABLE.

YOU IDIOT!

BOY, I GUESS WE NEVER REALIZED

HOW MUCH YOU LIKE THAT CHAIR.

I WAS JUST WORKING ON...

YOUR PICK-UP LINES?

IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING, YES.

THEN IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND A LITTLE GENE AND ROGER,

YOU MIGHT WANT TO LEAVE OFF THE IDIOT PART.

BEING CALLED AN IDIOT TENDS TO TAKE PEOPLE OUT OF THE DATING MOOD.

ACTUALLY KIND OF TURNS ME ON.

I FEAR YOU.

YOU ALSO MIGHT WANT TO AVOID WORDS LIKE AMENABLE AND INDECOROUS.

YOU KNOW? SPEAK ENGLISH, NOT WHATEVER THEY SPEAK IN, UH...

ENGLAND?

YEAH. YOU JUST SAY,

"HEY, I GOT A THING. YOU MAYBE HAVE A THING.

MAYBE WE COULD HAVE A THING."

WELL, THANK YOU, CYRANO.

I'M NOT FINISHED.

THEN YOU SAY, "HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MEXICAN?"

MEXICANS?

MEXICAN.

FOOD. YOU TAKE HER FOR FOOD,

FOR WHICH YOU THEN PAY.

OH. RIGHT.

SO THIS CHAIR WOMAN, WE ARE TALKING MS. CALENDAR, RIGHT?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?

SIMPLE DEDUCTION.

MS. CALENDAR IS REASONABLY DOLLSOME,

ESPECIALLY FOR SOMEONE IN YOUR AGE BRACKET.

SHE ALREADY KNOWS THAT YOU'RE A SCHOOL LIBRARIAN,

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT

HOW TO BREAK THAT EMBARRASSING NEWS TO HER.

AND SHE'S THE ONLY WOMAN

WE'VE ACTUALLY EVER SEEN SPEAK TO YOU.

ADD IT UP, IT ALL SPELLS DUH!

NOW IS A TIME TO HAVE A TALK ABOUT THE FACTS OF LIFE.

YOU KNOW, I'M SUDDENLY DECIDING THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THAT WHOLE STORK THING IS A SMOKE SCREEN.

SO, UM...

HOW DID THINGS GO LAST NIGHT?

DID MR. KORSHAK SHOW UP ON SCHEDULE?

MORE OR LESS.

ANGEL AND I TOOK CARE OF HIM.

ANGEL.

THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE, THOUGH.

WE FOUND AN EMPTY GRAVE.

ANOTHER VAMPIRE?

NO. NO, THIS ONE WAS DUG UP AND THE BODY WAS TAKEN OUT.

GRAVE ROBBING?

THAT'S NEW. INTERESTING.

I KNOW YOU MEANT TO SAY GROSS AND DISTURBING.

YES, YES, YES, OF COURSE. TERRIBLE THING.

MUST PUT A STOP TO IT.

DAMN IT.

SO, WHY DOES SOMEONE WANT TO DIG UP GRAVES?

WELL, I'LL, UH, COLLECT SOME THEORIES.

IT WOULD HELP IF WE KNEW WHO THE BODY BELONGED TO.

MEREDITH TODD.

RING A BELL?

NO.

SHE DIED RECENTLY. SHE WAS OUR AGE.

DRAWING A BLANK.

WHY DON'T WE ASK WILLOW TO FIRE THIS...

THING UP AND TRACK MEREDITH DOWN?

SMILE.

HEY!

OHH, LOOK AT THOSE LEGS.

NO, THANK YOU.

ERIC.

WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF?

HEY, CHRIS.

HEY.

OH. I--I WAS JUST WONDERING

WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO DO THIS YEAR.

WHY?

'CAUSE EVERY YEAR YOU WIN, AND I PLACE SECOND,

SO I JUST THOUGHT I'D SEE WHAT I'M UP AGAINST.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE KEY IS?

IF DR. CLARK DOESN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR EXPERIMENT,

HE GIVES YOU HIGHER MARKS,

SO IT LOOKS LIKE HE UNDERSTANDS YOUR EXPERIMENT.

"EFFECTS OF SUBVIOLET LIGHT SPECTRUM DEPRIVATION

ON THE DEVELOPMENT OF FRUIT FLIES."

THAT SHOULD DO THE TRICK.

OK. I'M DOING THIS UNDER PROTEST.

IT IS NOT FAIR

THAT THEY'RE MAKING PARTICIPATION IN THIS YEAR'S SCIENCE FAIR

MANDATORY. I DON'T THINK ANYONE

SHOULD HAVE TO DO ANYTHING EDUCATIONAL

IN SCHOOL IF THEY DON'T WANT TO.

"THE TOMATO: FRUIT OR VEGETABLE."

I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING I COULD FINISH IN A WEEKEND, ALL RIGHT?

STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WE ARE UNDER FLUORESCENT LIGHTS, FOR GOD'S SAKE!

THE CAMERA LOVES YOU!

I DIDN'T THINK YEARBOOK NERDS

CAME OUT OF HIBERNATION TILL SPRING.

IT'S FOR MY PRIVATE COLLECTION.

ERIC, WILL YOU QUIT IT?

Buffy: COMING THROUGH.

SORRY.

UH, SORRY TO INTERRUPT, WILLOW,

BUT IT'S THE BAT SIGNAL.

OK, SURE. SEE YOU LATER, CHRIS. THANKS FOR THE TIP.

OK.

OH!

CORDELIA'S SO FINE.

YOU KNOW, SHE'D BE JUST PERFECT FOR US.

DON'T BE AN IDIOT. SHE'S ALIVE.

THIS SHOULDN'T TAKE LONG.

I'M PROBABLY THE ONLY GIRL IN SCHOOL

WHO HAS THE CORONER'S OFFICE

BOOKMARKED AS A FAVORITE PLACE.

HI. SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR LITTLE UNDEAD PLAY GROUP,

BUT I NEED TO ASK WILLOW IF SHE'LL HELP ME

WITH MY SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT.

IT'S A FRUIT.

I WOULD'VE ASKED CHRIS TO HELP ME,

BUT THEN IT WOULD'VE BROUGHT BACK TOO MANY MEMORIES OF DARYL.

I FOUND IT!

MEREDITH TODD DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT LAST WEEK.

OF COURSE, I HAVE LEARNED TO DEAL WITH MY PAIN.

HOW WAS HER NECK?

FINE, EXCEPT FOR BEING BROKEN.

HELLO. CAN WE DEAL WITH MY PAIN, PLEASE?

THERE, THERE.

IT SAYS THAT MEREDITH AND 2 OTHER GIRLS IN THE CAR

WERE KILLED INSTANTLY.

THEY WERE ALL ON THE FONDREN HIGH PEP SQUAD,

ON THE WAY TO A GAME.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

THAT FONDREN MIGHT ACTUALLY BEAT SUNNYDALE

IN THE CROSS-TOWN BODY COUNT COMPETITION THIS YEAR?

SHE WASN'T KILLED BY VAMPIRES.

SOMEBODY DID DIG UP HER CORPSE.

EEUW!

WHY IS IT THAT EVERY CONVERSATION YOU PEOPLE HAVE

HAS THE WORD CORPSE IN IT?

OK, SO WE GOT A BODY SNATCHER. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

HERE'S WHAT I'VE COME UP WITH.

DEMONS WHO EAT THE FLESH OF THE DEAD TO ABSORB THEIR SOULS,

OR IT COULD OBVIOUSLY BE A VOODOO PRACTITIONER.

YOU MEAN, MAKING A ZOMBIE?

ZOMBIES, MORE LIKELY.

FOR MOST TRADITIONAL PURPOSES, A VOODOO PRIEST WOULD REQUIRE MORE THAN ONE.

SO WE SHOULD SEE IF THE OTHER GIRLS IN THE ACCIDENT

ARE AWOL, TOO.

MAYBE WE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THIS CREEP HAS IN MIND

IF WE KNOW WHETHER OR NOT HE'S DEALING IN VOLUME.

SO WE DIG UP SOME GRAVES TONIGHT?

OH, BOY. A FIELD TRIP. YOU GOING TO CALL ANGEL?

I DON'T THINK SO.

YEAH, WHY BOTHER HIM, HUH?

ANGE AND I HAVE BEEN, UM--NEVER MIND.

AS FAR AS ANGEL'S CONCERNED, I'M TAKING THE NIGHT OFF, OK?

SO WE'RE SET, THEN. SAY, NINE-ISH?

B.Y.O. SHOVEL.

AND I'LL PACK SOME FOOD.

WHO ELSE LIKES THOSE LITTLE POWDERED DOUGHNUTS?

ME.

CORDELIA?

DARN. I HAVE CHEERLEADER PRACTICE TONIGHT.

BOY, I WISH I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO BE

DIGGING UP DEAD PEOPLE SOONER.

I WOULD'VE CANCELED.

ALL RIGHT, BUT IF YOU COME ACROSS THE ARMY OF ZOMBIES,

CAN YOU PAGE US BEFORE THEY EAT YOUR FLESH?

OH!

XANDER?

HUH?

ZOMBIES DON'T EAT THE FLESH OF THE LIVING.

HA. YEAH, I KNEW THAT,

BUT DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON HER FACE?

I COULDN'T BELIEVE ANGEL.

HE WAS ACTING ALL JEALOUS, AND HE WOULDN'T EVEN ADMIT IT.

JEALOUS OF WHAT?

OF XANDER.

'CAUSE YOU DID THAT SEXY DANCE WITH HIM?

AM I EVER GOING TO LIVE THAT DOWN?

NO.

ANYWAY, HE WAS BEING TOTALLY IRRATIONAL.

LOVE MAKES YOU DO THE WACKY.

THAT'S THE TRUTH.

Xander: YOU KNOW, THIS MIGHT GO A LOT FASTER IF YOU FEMS

ACTUALLY PICKED UP A SHOVEL, TOO.

HERE, HERE.

SORRY, BUT I'M AN OLD-FASHIONED GAL.

I WAS RAISED TO BELIEVE THAT MEN DIG UP THE CORPSES

AND WOMEN HAVE THE BABIES.

SO, SPEAKING OF THE WACKY,

WHAT WAS CORDELIA'S WHOLE RIFF ABOUT PAINFUL MEMORIES?

WHO'S DARYL?

DARYL EPPS, CHRIS' OLDER BROTHER.

HE WAS A BIG FOOTBALL STAR.

ALL-STATE 2 YEARS AGO.

HE WAS A RUNNING--

HE WAS A RUNNING--

UH, SOMEONE WHO RUNS AND CATCHES.

WAS HE A STUDLY?

BIG TIME. ALL THE GIRLS WERE CRAZY FOR HIM.

AND HE BROKE CORDY'S HEART?

THUS POSSIBLY PROVING ITS EXISTENCE.

HE DIED.

ROCK CLIMBING OR SOMETHING.

HE FELL.

OH, MAN. THAT'S LOUSY.

POOR CHRIS.

EVER SINCE THEN, CHRIS HAS BEEN REAL QUIET,

KIND OF IN HIS OWN WORLD.

AND I HEARD THEIR MOTHER DOESN'T EVEN LEAVE THEIR HOUSE ANYMORE.

Giles: I THINK WE'RE THERE.

BY THE WAY,

ARE WE HOPING TO FIND A BODY OR NO BODY?

CALL ME AN OPTIMIST,

BUT I'M HOPING TO FIND A FORTUNE IN GOLD DOUBLOONS.

A BODY WOULD MEAN FLESH-EATING DEMON.

NO BODY WOULD POINT TOWARDS THE ARMY OF ZOMBIES THING.

TAKE YOUR PICK, REALLY.

ALL RIGHT, THEN. GO ON.

YOU'RE CLOSER.

PATHETIC MUCH?

MOVE OVER.

GUYS, IF WE DON'T GET THIS DOWN BY TOMORROW,

NO ONE'S GOING TO BE LED BY OUR CHEERS.

PRACTICE.

OKAY, SEE YOU LATER.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[GATE SCRAPES]

[FOOTSTEPS]

HELLO?

[KEYS JINGLE]

XANDER HARRIS, IF THIS IS SOME KIND OF JOKE...

OH!

OH!

CORDELIA.

THIS IS THE LAST PLACE I EXPECTED YOU TO HANG OUT.

OH, GOD.

GOD, IT'S YOU. WHY WERE YOU FOLLOWING ME?

I WASN'T SURE IT WAS YOU AT FIRST.

I'M LOOKING FOR BUFFY.

BUFFY? WELL, SHE'S, UH...

BIG SHOCK. SHE'S AT THE GRAVEYARD.

SHE SAID SHE'D BE HOME.

SHE LIED. ISN'T SHE A RASCAL?

WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK.

IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT MY NIGHT IS FREE.

HOLD ON. MY SKIRT IS CAUGHT.

THERE.

AAH!

AAH!

AAH!

SO BOTH COFFINS ARE EMPTY.

THAT MAKES 3 GIRLS SIGNED UP FOR THE ARMY OF ZOMBIES.

IS IT AN ARMY IF YOU JUST HAVE 3?

Buffy: WELL, ZOMBIE DRILL TEAM, THEN?

YOU'RE BACK.

ANGEL.

XANDER.

ANGEL.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE TAKING THE NIGHT OFF.

I WAS.

BUT SOMETHING CAME UP.

CORDELIA TOLD ME THE TRUTH.

HA HA! THAT'S GOT TO BE A FIRST.

AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE,

PERHAPS YOU COULD BE OF SOME HELP. HMM?

HMM?

WE WERE INVESTIGATING.

SOMEBODY'S BEEN DIGGING UP THE BODIES OF DEAD GIRLS.

I KNOW. WE FOUND SOME OF THEM.

YOU MEAN, LIKE, 2 OF THE 3?

I MEAN, LIKE SOME OF THEM. LIKE PARTS.

IT WAS HORRIBLE.

ANGEL SAVED ME FROM AN ARM.

GOD, THERE WERE SO MANY PARTS. THEY WERE EVERYWHERE.

WHY ARE THESE TERRIBLE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME?

KARMA! [COUGHS]

SO MUCH FOR OUR ZOMBIE THEORY.

SO MUCH FOR ALL OUR THEORIES.

Buffy: I DON'T GET IT.

WHY GO TO ALL THE TROUBLE TO DIG UP 3 GIRLS

ONLY TO CHOP THEM UP AND THROW THEM AWAY?

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

ESPECIALLY FROM A TIME MANAGEMENT STANDPOINT.

Angel: WHAT I SAW

DIDN'T ADD UP TO 3 WHOLE GIRLS.

I THINK THEY KEPT SOME PARTS.

COULD THIS GET YUCKIER?

THEY PROBABLY KEPT THE OTHER PARTS TO EAT.

QUESTION ANSWERED.

WHY DISPOSE OF THE REMAINS 5 MILES FROM THE CEMETERY

AT A SCHOOL, OF ALL PLACES?

Buffy: MAYBE BECAUSE WHOEVER DID IT

HAD SOME BUSINESS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

LIKE, SAY, CLASSES?

OH.

AHH.

Angel: THIS WAS NO HATCHET JOB.

WHOEVER MADE THOSE INCISIONS REALLY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING.

YES, REALLY.

WHAT STUDENT HERE

IS GOING TO BE THAT WELL-VERSED IN PHYSIOLOGY?

I CAN THINK OF 5 OR 6 GUYS IN THE SCIENCE CLUB.

AND ME.

Xander: SO, WILL, COME CLEAN.

PROMISE TO NEVER TO DO IT AGAIN, AND WE'LL CALL IT A NIGHT.

HE JOKED.

WILLOW, WHY DON'T YOU GET THESE GUYS' LOCKER NUMBERS

SO WE CAN DO SOME CHECKING?

NO! I HAVE TO GO HOME NOW.

I HAVE TO TAKE A BATH AND BURN MY CLOTHES.

YOU HAVE TO GO? AW, TOO BAD.

KEEP IN TOUCH. BYE-BYE.

I DON'T WANT TO GO ALONE.

I'M STILL FRAGILE.

CAN YOU TAKE ME?

GREAT. I'LL DRIVE.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

I ALWAYS PEGGED HIM AS A ONE-WOMAN VAMPIRE.

[TELEVISION NOISE]

[CHEERING]

I'M GOING OUT, MOM.

I'LL BE BACK LATER, OK?

MOM?

DARYL! DARYL! DARYL!

[CHANTING CONTINUES]

YOU UNDERSTAND IN MY CAPACITY AS A SCHOOL OFFICIAL,

THIS SEARCH IS COMPLETELY UNAUTHORIZED.

I CANNOT CONDONE IT.

FINE. YOUR BUTT'S COVERED.

WANT TO GRAB A LOCKER?

YES. YES, OF COURSE.

OK, ERIC. LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON YOUR ANNOYING LITTLE MIND.

NOTHING IN HERE BUT BACK ISSUES OF SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN.

OOH! I HAVEN'T READ THIS ONE.

NOTHING REMARKABLE HERE.

GUYS.

YOUR FRIEND CHRIS EPPS' LOCKER.

"GREY'S ANATOMY, MORTICIAN'S DESK REFERENCE.

ROBICHEAUX'S GUIDE TO MUSCLES AND TENDONS."

I THINK IT'S FAIR TO SAY THAT CHRIS IS INVOLVED.

HE'S INTO CORPSES, ALL RIGHT, BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHY.

YES, WE DO.

♪ I GUESS YOU'LL SAY ♪

♪ WHAT CAN MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY ♪

♪ MY GIRL ♪

♪ TALKIN' 'BOUT MY GIRL ♪

♪ MY GIRL ♪

HOW'S MY BABY?

SHE'S NOT YOUR BABY.

SHE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANYBODY'S BABY

IF WE DON'T FINISH HER SOON.

I'M WORKING ON IT.

SO AM I, FRIEND.

SO AM I.

ANY SIGN OF OUR SUSPECTS?

NOT YET.

I DON'T GET IT.

WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT TO MAKE A GIRL?

YOU MEAN WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY PREMADE ONES JUST LYING AROUND?

THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE.

LOVE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS.

MAYBE NOT, BUT I'LL TELL YOU THIS.

PEOPLE DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM.

PEOPLE WANT THE DREAM.

WHAT THEY CAN'T HAVE.

THE MORE UNATTAINABLE, THE MORE ATTRACTIVE.

AND FOR ERIC, THE UNATTAINABLE WOULD INCLUDE EVERYONE...

THAT'S ALIVE.

ERIC'S SICK ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS,

BUT WHAT ABOUT CHRIS?

HE SEEMS LIKE A HUMAN PERSON.

I DON'T KNOW.

THAT THING WITH HIS BROTHER WAS REALLY HARD ON HIM.

HE TALKED ABOUT DEATH A LOT.

MAYBE HE JUST WANTED TO GET ONE UP ON IT.

BUT IT'S NOT DOABLE.

I MEAN, MAKING SOMEONE FROM SCRAPS. ACTUALLY MAKING THEM LIVE.

IF IT IS,

MY SCIENCE PROJECT'S DEFINITELY COMING IN SECOND THIS YEAR.

AND SPEAKING OF LOVE.

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE REANIMATION OF DEAD TISSUE.

DO I DECONSTRUCT YOUR SEGUES?

NAH.

HEY.

OH.

YES, HELLO.

STILL NO SIGN OF OUR MAD DOCTORS?

WHAT?

OH, CORPSES. YES, EVIL. VERY GOOD.

DID YOU BRING IT? TOMORROW.

Giles: VERY, VERY GOOD.

OK, GILES. JUST REMEMBER.

I FEEL A THING. YOU FEEL A THING,

BUT PERSONALIZE IT.

PERSONALIZE IT.

SHE'S A TECHNO-PAGAN, RIGHT?

ASK HER TO BLESS YOUR LAPTOP.

HAVE FUN.

OH, DON'T...

BEST OF LUCK.

LEAVE.

GOOD MORNING, RUPERT.

MS. CALENDAR?

OH, NO, PLEASE. CALL ME JENNY.

MS. CALENDAR'S MY FATHER.

JENNY, THEN.

YOU KNOW, UH, JENNY, UM...

WOULD IT APPEAR INDECOROUS OF ME-- NO, NOT INDECOROUS,

UM...

YEAH?

W-W-W...

I--I--

UM...

RUPERT, LOOK, I'VE GOT TO GET INSIDE AND SET UP THE LAB.

WHAT I'M PROPOSING IS--

[BELL RINGS]

AAH. I GOT TO GO. SORRY.

IDIOT!

HEY, LISTEN, IF IT'S IMPORTANT,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME AT THE GAME?

GAME? OH. YOU'RE GOING TO THE FOOTBALL GAME?

YEAH. YOU SEEM SURPRISED.

NO, NO. I--I--I JUST ASSUMED THAT YOU SPEND YOUR EVENINGS

DOWNLOADING INCANTATIONS AND--AND CASTING BONES.

ON GAME NIGHT?

ARE YOU NUTS?

YOU'RE GOING, TOO, RIGHT?

OH, OF COURSE.

I ALWAYS--ALWAYS DO.

SO...

WE SHOULD JUST GO TOGETHER.

LOOK. I COULD PICK YOU UP AFTER SCHOOL,

AND WE'LL GRAB A BITE TO EAT ON THE WAY,

IF YOU LIKE.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MEXICAN?

OK.

GOOD. OKAY.

AND THEN WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT TO TELL ME,

YOU CAN JUST TELL ME THEN. OK?

OK.

TONIGHT, THEN.

THAT WENT WELL.

I THINK.

I STILL DON'T GET HOW CHRIS COULD DO IT.

I MEAN, ARRESTING THE CELL DETERIORATION IS ONE THING, BUT--

HELLO!

I WANT TO GET AHEAD.

MAYBE AN ELECTRICAL CURRENT

COMBINED WITH AN ADRENALINE BOOST.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,

CAN SOMEBODY SCRATCH MY NOSE?

WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL.

CHRIS AND ERIC DIDN'T COME TO SCHOOL TODAY.

THAT'S NO COINCIDENCE.

MAYBE THEY FINISHED THEIR PROJECT.

GOD. WHAT IF IT WORKED?

WHAT IF THAT POOR GIRL IS WALKING AROUND?

POOR GIRLS, TECHNICALLY.

WHAT COULD SHE BE THINKING?

AND WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO WITH HER?

I DON'T THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT JUST YET.

I SPOKE TO A PRESS PERSON THIS MORNING

ABOUT THE REMAINS.

THE POLICE HAVE FINISHED SORTING THROUGH THEM.

APPARENTLY THEY FOUND 3 HEADS IN THE DUMPSTER.

THEY ONLY HAD 3 GIRLS.

PRECISELY.

SO THEY DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE, UH, PACKAGE?

THE HEADS MUST BE NO GOOD.

HUH!

I FOUND THEM ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY, I'M NOT AS SICK AS CHRIS AND ERIC.

BASED ON WHAT THE POLICE HAVE PUT TOGETHER,

I WOULD SAY THEY'RE ONE STEP SHORT

OF COMPLETING THEIR MASTERPIECE.

ONE STEP?

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

IF WE WAIT TOO LONG, THE ONSET OF ATROPHY

IN THE LIMBS WILL BE IRREVERSIBLE.

WE CAN TURN UP THE CURRENT.

THAT'LL BUY US A DAY AT LEAST.

WE WILL LOSE THE ENTIRE BODY

IF WE DON'T ATTACH A HEAD SOON.

WE HAVE TIME.

WE DON'T!

THE CRASH WITH THE GIRLS WAS LUCKY.

WE CAN'T JUST KEEP WAITING AROUND

FOR ANOTHER LUCKY ACCIDENT TO DROP A HEAD IN OUR LAPS.

YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVE TO DO.

HELL, IT'S JUST ONE LOUSY GIRL.

I WON'T DO IT.

I--I CAN'T KILL ANYONE.

PLEASE.

UNDERSTAND, I--

I CAN'T DO THAT.

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME.

BUT YOU GAVE ME YOUR WORD.

YOU PROMISED ME, LITTLE BROTHER...

I WOULDN'T BE ALONE.

THE BODY'S PERFECT,

AND IF WE HARVEST A HEAD TONIGHT,

SHE'LL BE READY BY SUNRISE.

WHEN YOU BROUGHT ME BACK,

YOU PROMISED YOU'D TAKE CARE OF ME.

I NEED THIS, CHRIS.

I NEED SOMEONE.

PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO DO THIS.

DON'T ASK ME TO TAKE A LIFE.

I TRIED TO TELL HIM,

IF YOU TAKE A LIFE IN ORDER TO MAKE A LIFE,

THE WHOLE THING IS A WASH.

NO HARM, NO FOUL.

MAYBE YOU COULD-- YOU COULD GO OUT.

NO! LET PEOPLE KNOW.

THEY CAN'T SEE ME.

CHRIS, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN SMARTER THAN ME.

YOU WERE ALWAYS THE BRAINS.

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP ME NOW.

THIRD AND LONG, SECONDS TO GO.

WHERE DO YOU THROW?

WHERE DO YOU THROW?

NUMBER 5.

DARYL'S GOING TO DRIVE.

HELP ME, BROTHER.

THANK YOU.

SHOW ME.

THIS ONE.

HA HA.

A MAN OF TASTE.

♪ MY GIRL ♪

♪ TALKIN' 'BOUT ♪

♪ MY GIRL ♪

♪ MY GIRL... ♪

I CHECKED THE OBITS.

NOTHING THAT WOULD MAKE FOR A LIKELY CANDIDATE.

THEY SEEM KIND OF PICKY FOR GUYS WITH 3 HEADS TO BEGIN WITH.

FORMALDEHYDE.

COME AGAIN?

FORMALDEHYDE. OH, YES, YES, YES, YES.

YES, OF COURSE.

IT ACCELERATES NEURAL DECAY IN THE BRAIN CELLS.

AFTER A COUPLE DAYS, THEY'RE USELESS.

THEY'RE GOING TO NEED SOMETHING REALLY FRESH.

HOW FRESH?

Willow: AS FRESH AS POSSIBLE.

BUFFY, YOU DON'T THINK THAT THEY WOULD--

I THINK ANYONE

WHO CUTS DEAD GIRLS INTO LITTLE PIECES

DOES NOT GET THE BENEFIT OF ANY DOUBT.

I WANT TO END THIS THING NOW.

I SECOND THAT.

Buffy: FINE. YOU GUYS GO TO ERIC'S.

WE CAN GO TO CHRIS' AND MEET UP.

I'M--I'M SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE BIG GAME, I BELIEVE IT'S CALLED.

THAT'S FINE. GO AHEAD. WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS.

Giles: BUT SHOULDN'T I-- I'M...

Buffy: OK, THEN. WHY DON'T WE ALL MEET THERE?

FINE. YES.

BUFFY?

DON'T BE TOO HARD ON CHRIS.

I MEAN, HE'S NOT A VAMPIRE.

NO. HE'S JUST A GHOUL.

HI. UM, I'M A FRIEND OF CHRIS'.

I KIND OF NEED TO TALK TO HIM.

DO YOU KNOW IF HE'S HOME?

SO, IS HE HOME?

WESTBURY GAME.

NOVEMBER 17, '95.

DARYL RUSHED 185 YARDS THAT NIGHT, 4 TDs.

HE WAS MVP AND HE MADE ALL-CITY THAT SEASON.

YEAH, THAT WAS A GREAT ONE,

BUT IS CHRIS HOME?

I DON'T KNOW.

IS TODAY A SCHOOL DAY?

OH, WATCH! WATCH THIS MOVE.

DARYL TAKES A KICKOFF.

HE SHEDS 1, 2, 3 DEFENDERS,

AND HE BREAKS INTO THE OPEN FIELD

FOR A 95-YARD TOUCHDOWN.

HE WOULD'VE BEEN 19 NEXT WEEK.

CORDELIA.

CORDELIA, YOU COMING?

YEAH, I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.

OH, GOD! CHRIS, YOU SCARED ME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

AAH!

AAH!

AAH! AAH!

OH, JOY, LISA, WHERE'S CORDELIA?

CORDELIA HAS A GAME TO THINK ABOUT.

SHE DOESN'T NEED LOSERS LIKE YOU.

I'M SORRY, WHERE DID YOU SAY?

AAH!

ARE YOU OK?

OH, MY GOD. BUFFY.

DON'T WORRY.

HE'S GONE.

I WAS ON MY WAY DOWN TO THE FIELD

WHEN CHRIS CAME IN, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SOMEONE JUMPED ME.

SHH. BE QUIET. RELAX. TAKE IT EASY.

THERE'S THE FIGHT SONG!

OH, MY GOD. IT'S TIME FOR THE CHEERLEADER PYRAMID IN MIDFIELD.

I'VE GOT TO GO.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK TO GO THERE?

YEAH. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I HAVE TO GO, I'M THE APEX.

CHRIS?

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO.

YOU AND ERIC.

I KNOW ABOUT THE BODIES FROM THE CEMETERY,

BUT YOU HAVEN'T HURT ANYONE YET.

LOOK, I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE

TO LOSE SOMEONE THAT YOU'RE CLOSE TO,

BUT THAT'S NO EXCUSE.

WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS WRONG.

I HAVE TO DO THIS FOR HIM.

HE NEEDS SOMEONE.

WHO, ERIC?

HE NEEDS INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH THERAPY.

HE ALWAYS LOOKED OUT FOR ME.

STOOD UP FOR ME.

HE'S ALL ALONE.

EVERYBODY LOVED HIM.

AND NOW HE'S ALL ALONE.

WHO ARE YOU TALKING--

OH, MY GOD.

YOU PROMISED ME!

YOU PROMISED I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE ALONE!

IT'S NOT TOO LATE.

ARRGH!

NOTHING'S CHANGED.

WE CAN STILL DO THIS.

YOU AND ME.

YOUR BROTHER'S NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CREATE LIFE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

LET'S GO SCARE YOU UP A DATE.

Buffy: DARYL!

DARYL?

DARYL!

DARYL!

WH...

HE'S NOT HERE.

WHERE ELSE COULD HE BE?

BUT HE WOULD NEVER GO OUT

UNLESS...

HE'S GOING TO PICK UP WHERE YOU LEFT OFF.

OH!

GO, RAZORBACKS, GO!

GO, TEAM, GO!

GO, RAZORBACKS, GO!

GO, TEAM, GO!

[CHEERING AND SHOUTING]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT FOOTBALL THAT DOES IT FOR ME.

I MEAN, IT LACKS THE GRACE OF BASKETBALL,

THE POETRY OF BASEBALL.

AT ITS BEST, IT'S UNADORNED AGGRESSION.

IT'S JUST SUCH A RUGGED CONTEST.

RUGGED? AMERICAN FOOTBALL?

AND THAT'S FUNNY BECAUSE?

NO, I JUST THINK IT'S RATHER ODD

THAT A NATION THAT PRIDES ITSELF ON ITS VIRILITY

SHOULD FEEL COMPELLED TO STRAP ON 40 POUNDS OF PROTECTIVE GEAR

JUST IN ORDER TO PLAY RUGBY.

IS THIS YOUR NORMAL STRATEGY FOR A FIRST DATE,

DISSING MY COUNTRY'S NATIONAL PASTIME?

DID YOU JUST SAY...

DATE?

YOU NOTICED THAT, HUH?

HI, MS. CALENDAR. HI, GILES.

HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S UP?

ERIC'S WAS A BUST. NOTHING THERE.

YEAH, NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF COMPUTER EQUIPMENT

AND A PORNOGRAPHY COLLECTION SO PRODIGIOUS, IT EVEN SCARED ME.

DID BUFFY GET BACK YET?

NO. NO. PERHAPS YOU SHOULD CIRCULATE NEARER THE FIELD.

SEE WHAT YOU CAN FIND.

[CROWD CHEERS]

SO WHAT'S THE SCORE?

GO, RAZORBACKS, GO!

GO, TEAM, GO!

AAH!

[CROWD SCREAMS]

GO, RAZORBACKS, GO!

GO, TEAM, GO!

I DON'T SEE HER, DO YOU?

GO, TEAM, GO! NO.

GO, RAZORBACKS, GO!

PLEASE, WHAT'S GOING ON?

JUST TAKE OFF THE BLINDFOLD.

I PROMISE I WON'T SCREAM.

I PROMISE.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!

NO!

IT'S BAD LUCK FOR THE GROOM TO SEE THE BRIDE

BEFORE THE WEDDING.

PLEASE, JUST TAKE OFF THE BLINDFOLD.

I PROMISE I WON'T SCREAM.

I PROMISE.

CORDELIA.

AAH!

AAH!

SCREAM ALL YOU WANT.

WE'RE IN AN ABANDONED BUILDING.

HELP!

OK. THAT S ENOUGH.

[WHIMPERS]

YOU WERE ALWAYS GOOD TO ME.

YOU ALWAYS NOTICED ME,

BUT I IGNORED YOU.

I'M SORRY.

I'M GLAD I HAVE A SECOND CHANCE TO TELL YOU THAT.

D-D-DARYL?

I WAS THOUGHTLESS.

I SEE THAT NOW.

I'VE CHANGED.

I'VE LEARNED TO APPRECIATE HOW MUCH IT MEANT

THAT YOU WANTED TO BE WITH ME.

Eric: WE'RE READY.

READY? READY FOR WHAT?

YOU'RE GOING TO FEEL A LITTLE PINCH,

MAYBE SOME DISCOMFORT AROUND THE NECK AREA,

BUT DON'T WORRY.

WHEN YOU WAKE UP, YOU'LL HAVE THE BODY OF A 17-YEAR-OLD.

IN FACT, YOU'LL HAVE THE BODY OF SEVERAL.

AAH!

HE WAS HERE, CHRIS?

WHERE DID HE TAKE HER?

TO THE REST OF THE BODY. TO THE LAB.

WHERE IS THAT?

I PROMISED HIM THAT--

LOOK, HE'LL KILL CORDELIA!

YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE AND TAKE LIVES LIKE THAT.

IT'S NOT YOUR JOB.

HE'S IN THE OLD SCIENCE LAB.

EVERYTHING'S SET UP THERE.

THANK YOU.

GO FIND XANDER AND WILLOW

AND TELL THEM WHAT'S GOING ON.

DARYL, PLEASE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

WE HAVE TO SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER.

WE'LL BE TOGETHER ANYWAY.

I'LL BE HERE WITH YOU. I PROMISE.

IS THAT RIGHT?

YOU SEE ANYTHING YOU LIKE?

AND WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED,

YOU WON'T GO OUT. YOU WON'T RUN AWAY.

WE CAN HIDE TOGETHER.

PLEASE?

PLEASE?

STERILE ENOUGH FOR GOVERNMENT WORK.

[WHIMPERING]

NO.

NO! PLEASE.

BUFFY, HELP ME!

DARYL, LISTEN, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, OK?

YOUR BROTHER SENT ME TO STOP YOU.

HE WOULDN'T DO THAT.

MY BROTHER LOVES ME.

BUFFY, THEY'RE CRAZY.

IT'S OK, CORDELIA. I'M GONNA GET YOU OUT OF HERE.

I'M NOT DONE WITH HER YET.

[WHIMPERS]

I'M NOT FINISHED!

I WON'T LIVE ALONE!

I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.

YOU HAVE TO HELP ME.

LET GO!

BUFFY!

GET CORDELIA!

XANDER!

GET ME OUT OF HERE!

STOP WATCHING THEM. COME ON!

COME ON! GET IT OFF!

GET IT OFF! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

HELP ME!

HURRY UP! HURRY UP!

AAH! AAH!

Chris: DARYL!

DON'T!

SHE--SHE'S MINE!

Chris: DARYL!

NO.

DARYL!

Daryl: WE'LL BE TOGETHER ALWAYS.

SHE'S MINE!

FIRST TIME HE WOKE UP AFTER--

HE SAID I SHOULDN'T HAVE BROUGHT HIM BACK.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR HIM,

LIKE--LIKE HE WOULD'VE DONE FOR ME.

I SAW THE FIRE.

I FIGURED YOU'D BE HERE.

IS EVERYONE OK?

YEAH.

WE'RE OK.

SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS.

IT'S OK.

ALTHOUGH A GOOD RULE OF THUMB FOR A FIRST DATE IS

DON'T DO ANYTHING SO EXCITING

THAT IT'LL BE HARD TO TOP ON THE SECOND DATE.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SINCE I'VE MOVED HERE

TO LIVE ON TOP OF THE HELLMOUTH,

THE EVENTS OF THIS EVENING

ACTUALLY QUALIFY AS A SLOW NIGHT.

D-DID YOU JUST SAY "SECOND DATE"?

YOU NOTICED THAT, HUH?

WELL, I GUESS THAT MAKES IT OFFICIAL.

EVERYBODY'S PAIRED OFF.

THE VAMPIRES GET DATES.

HELL, EVEN THE SCHOOL LIBRARIAN

SEES MORE ACTION THAN ME.

YOU EVER THINK THAT THE WORLD'S A GIANT GAME OF MUSICAL CHAIRS

AND THE MUSIC'S STOPPED

AND WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO DON'T HAVE A CHAIR?

ALL THE TIME.

XANDER, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE.

WHAT YOU DID IN THERE WAS REALLY BRAVE AND HEROIC,

AND I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU

IF THERE'S ANYTHING I COULD EVER DO TO--

DO YOU MIND? WE'RE TALKING HERE.

SO WHERE WERE WE?

WONDERING WHY WE NEVER GET DATES.

YEAH! SO WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS?

GOD, THE WHOLE THING WAS SO CREEPY.

AT THE SAME TIME, I MEAN,

HE DID DO IT ALL FOR HIS BROTHER.

SOUNDS LIKE HE TOOK IT A LITTLE OVER THE EDGE.

LOVE MAKES YOU DO THE WACKY.

WHAT?

CRAZY STUFF.

OH.

CRAZY, LIKE A 241-YEAR-OLD

BEING JEALOUS OF A HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR?

ARE YOU 'FESSING UP?

I THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

MAYBE IT BOTHERS ME A LITTLE.

I DON'T LOVE XANDER.

YEAH, BUT HE'S IN YOUR LIFE.

HE GETS TO BE THERE WHEN I CAN'T.

TAKE YOUR CLASSES, EAT YOUR MEALS.

HEAR YOUR JOKES AND COMPLAINTS.

HE GETS TO SEE YOU IN THE SUNLIGHT.

I DON'T LOOK THAT GOOD IN DIRECT LIGHT.

IT'LL BE MORNING SOON.

I SHOULD PROBABLY GO.

I COULD WALK YOU HOME.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

GRR! ARGH!