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1
00:00:57,304 --> 00:00:59,238
Sweetheart, remember that
you're doing pickup today
2
00:00:59,306 --> 00:01:01,069
and you need to
call the face painter
for the party.
3
00:01:01,141 --> 00:01:02,438
Oh, and Henry
needs more Lactaid.
4
00:01:02,509 --> 00:01:03,635
All right. Got it.
5
00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:06,235
Pick up the kids,
call the face painter,
get Lactaid. I got it.
6
00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:07,506
Also, I'm gonna drop
by the new house
7
00:01:07,581 --> 00:01:08,605
and see how
the work's coming.
8
00:01:08,682 --> 00:01:09,740
Oh, okay, awesome.
9
00:01:09,816 --> 00:01:10,908
Can you make sure
that you measure
10
00:01:10,984 --> 00:01:12,144
the backyard for
the bouncy castle?
11
00:01:12,219 --> 00:01:14,187
We're gonna have
a bouncy castle
at our birthday party?
12
00:01:14,254 --> 00:01:15,551
Do you want a bouncy castle?
Yeah.
13
00:01:15,655 --> 00:01:17,919
Then, yes, we'll have
the best bouncy castle
in the whole world!
14
00:01:17,991 --> 00:01:19,822
Bouncy castle!
Bouncy castle!
Bouncy castle...
15
00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:21,622
And an Ultimate
Fighting Octagon?
16
00:01:21,862 --> 00:01:23,090
Uh... I don't know
about that.
17
00:01:23,163 --> 00:01:24,460
But, hey, you talked to me!
18
00:01:24,564 --> 00:01:26,589
I was talking to Mommy.
19
00:01:26,967 --> 00:01:28,662
Okay, but just now,
you talked to me
by saying that.
20
00:01:28,735 --> 00:01:29,861
Why does she have
such a problem?
21
00:01:29,936 --> 00:01:30,994
It's just a phase.
Don't push it.
22
00:01:31,071 --> 00:01:32,629
PAM: Hey, sweetheart,
it hurts Daddy's feelings
23
00:01:32,706 --> 00:01:34,173
when you give him
the silent treatment.
24
00:01:34,474 --> 00:01:37,443
I'm ready for school,
I'm ready for school!
Pick me up, pick me up!
25
00:01:37,511 --> 00:01:38,808
All right. Hey, Henry,
26
00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:40,278
you know
you can't bring
Arthur to school.
27
00:01:40,347 --> 00:01:41,780
But he's my best friend.
28
00:01:41,848 --> 00:01:43,008
Honey, he's your
best lizard friend.
29
00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:44,880
You've got lots of
non-lizard friends.
30
00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:46,007
Not really.
31
00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:47,809
Really?
32
00:01:47,888 --> 00:01:48,877
Nope.
33
00:01:49,289 --> 00:01:50,415
Oh. All right,
have a good day.
I love you.
34
00:01:50,490 --> 00:01:51,582
You're kidding me!
35
00:01:51,658 --> 00:01:53,649
You can't take that
to school, monkey.
Go put that in your room.
36
00:01:53,994 --> 00:01:55,256
Sam, I will see you.
I love you.
37
00:01:55,328 --> 00:01:56,317
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
38
00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:57,590
Sam.
Hey.
39
00:01:57,664 --> 00:01:59,154
What? Yeah,
oh, golly, okay.
See you.
40
00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:01,596
Thanks. Love you.
41
00:02:01,868 --> 00:02:02,857
(DOOR BANGS)
42
00:02:08,074 --> 00:02:09,507
There he is!
43
00:02:10,811 --> 00:02:13,644
Hey, Randy. How you doing?
44
00:02:13,713 --> 00:02:14,702
Gregory Focker!
45
00:02:14,781 --> 00:02:15,941
How's it going?
46
00:02:16,082 --> 00:02:17,572
Wonderful to see you.
Great to see you.
47
00:02:17,651 --> 00:02:20,119
Listen, I just
came by to check out
the backyard and measure
48
00:02:20,187 --> 00:02:22,587
'cause we want to do
a bouncy castle for
the kids' birthday party.
49
00:02:22,689 --> 00:02:24,020
Aw.
50
00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:25,819
That's terrific, Gregory.
51
00:02:40,307 --> 00:02:41,569
Okay, you're about
five minutes late.
52
00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:42,835
Yeah, I know.
53
00:02:42,909 --> 00:02:45,207
A Miss Denslow
from the administrative
board called.
54
00:02:45,278 --> 00:02:47,212
She wants to get a list
of the budget cuts.
55
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,271
You have a meeting
in 20 minutes
with John Raider
56
00:02:49,349 --> 00:02:53,251
and some drug rep
from Pfosten Pharmaceuticals
57
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,117
is waiting in your office.
Andi something.
58
00:02:55,188 --> 00:02:56,246
There's a drug rep in there?
59
00:02:56,323 --> 00:02:57,347
Mmm-hmm.
60
00:02:57,424 --> 00:02:58,857
(SIGHS) Okay, look,
in three minutes,
61
00:02:58,925 --> 00:03:00,825
pop your head in
and tell me I have to
go to my next meeting.
62
00:03:00,894 --> 00:03:01,883
Okay.
All right?
63
00:03:02,329 --> 00:03:05,787
Sorry, I got to
make this really quick.
I got a very busy morning.
64
00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:10,067
I understand,
Nurse Focker.
I'm Andi Garcia.
65
00:03:10,136 --> 00:03:11,125
Oh, hi.
66
00:03:11,571 --> 00:03:13,596
You have a lot less
stubble in person.
67
00:03:16,176 --> 00:03:18,269
I'm... There's an actor
named Andy Garcia.
68
00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:19,601
Who?
69
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,545
Widow's peak.
Sort of tough guy.
70
00:03:22,916 --> 00:03:26,579
I was just kidding.
Of course, I know
who Andy Garcia is.
71
00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:27,677
I get that all the time.
72
00:03:27,754 --> 00:03:29,278
Yeah. You must
get it all the time
73
00:03:29,356 --> 00:03:30,823
'cause you're named
Andi Garcia.
74
00:03:30,891 --> 00:03:33,951
I loved the article
you wrote in the
AMA Journal,
75
00:03:34,027 --> 00:03:35,517
"Putting Patients First."
76
00:03:35,762 --> 00:03:37,229
You read that?
I loved it.
77
00:03:37,531 --> 00:03:41,023
It was so cool getting
a nurse's perspective
on the health care crisis.
78
00:03:41,134 --> 00:03:42,567
Yeah, that was the idea.
79
00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:44,968
I actually started out
as a nurse, myself.
80
00:03:45,171 --> 00:03:47,435
Really? Oh, well, nowadays,
I do less nursing and more...
81
00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:49,973
Annoying meetings
with drug reps you'd rather
not deal with?
82
00:03:50,877 --> 00:03:52,777
Hey, Greg, it's time
for your next meeting.
83
00:03:53,046 --> 00:03:54,479
That's okay,
I'm fine, Kristen.
Thank you.
84
00:03:54,548 --> 00:03:55,742
Yeah, but he doesn't
like to wait.
85
00:03:55,815 --> 00:03:57,077
You know
how he is, you know.
86
00:03:57,183 --> 00:03:58,445
Well, it's John Raider?
87
00:03:58,518 --> 00:03:59,746
Yeah, he's really picky...
88
00:03:59,819 --> 00:04:01,980
He always runs late.
Always runs late. Thanks.
89
00:04:02,756 --> 00:04:04,621
ANDI: You're swamped.
No, I'm good.
You want to have a seat?
90
00:04:04,925 --> 00:04:05,949
Yeah.
Okay.
91
00:04:06,026 --> 00:04:07,357
I'll make this quick.
92
00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:10,692
So we are launching
a killer new product
at Pfosten
93
00:04:10,764 --> 00:04:15,701
and, while we usually
hire doctors to lead
our presentations,
94
00:04:15,769 --> 00:04:17,066
I have a feeling about you.
95
00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:21,531
I think you have the potential
to be a medical superstar.
96
00:04:22,208 --> 00:04:27,646
And you'd be perfect
to represent
our new drug, Sustengo.
97
00:04:28,648 --> 00:04:33,551
Ah. Sustengo. All right.
It's an erectile
dysfunction medicine.
98
00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:36,180
It's not just any erectile
dysfunction medicine.
99
00:04:36,256 --> 00:04:39,885
It's the first ED pill
on the market
safe for heart patients.
100
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:44,624
Because, in addition
to increasing the penile
blood flow...
101
00:04:44,698 --> 00:04:46,131
See that penis?
102
00:04:46,199 --> 00:04:47,962
It acts as
a beta blocker
103
00:04:48,034 --> 00:04:51,401
to keep the heart rate down
during intercourse.
104
00:04:51,471 --> 00:04:52,836
I mean, how dope is that?
105
00:04:52,939 --> 00:04:53,963
(CHUCKLES)
106
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,234
That's pretty dope.
107
00:04:55,308 --> 00:04:56,798
WOMAN ON PA:
Nurse Focker needed
in room 220 B, stat.
108
00:04:56,876 --> 00:04:59,140
I'm sorry,
hang on one second.
109
00:04:59,212 --> 00:05:01,305
Nurse Focker, room 220 B.
110
00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:02,709
ANDROVSKY:
Will you get out of my ass?
111
00:05:02,949 --> 00:05:04,177
If you would stop
squirming around...
112
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:05,581
But you don't know
what you're doing.
113
00:05:05,652 --> 00:05:07,347
It could have
been over, sir.
Hey, hey, hey,
114
00:05:07,420 --> 00:05:09,285
how you doing there,
Mr. Androvsky?
Everything okay?
115
00:05:09,356 --> 00:05:10,687
Well, this nurse
is a barbarian.
116
00:05:10,757 --> 00:05:11,883
Okay, I'm not a barbarian.
117
00:05:11,958 --> 00:05:13,357
He keeps clenching
and I can't make an insertion.
118
00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:14,586
Louis, it's...
119
00:05:14,661 --> 00:05:15,787
It's a natural response
to protect that cavity.
120
00:05:15,862 --> 00:05:17,261
You're right,
it is a natural response.
121
00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:19,298
I would protect
my cavity, too.
122
00:05:19,366 --> 00:05:20,765
And we just got to do it
a little bit gentler.
123
00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:22,425
May I suggest something?
124
00:05:22,969 --> 00:05:25,267
Sir, why don't you
extend your left leg
125
00:05:25,338 --> 00:05:27,602
and put your right knee
right up to your chest.
126
00:05:27,674 --> 00:05:30,302
It'll help relax
things down there.
127
00:05:30,377 --> 00:05:31,639
She's right.
128
00:05:31,711 --> 00:05:34,236
You just do that
and you just grab the side
of the bed there, like that,
129
00:05:34,314 --> 00:05:35,474
and exhale...
There you go.
130
00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:37,607
Nurse, did you sufficiently
lubricate the nozzle?
131
00:05:37,817 --> 00:05:39,114
I did do that.
Great.
132
00:05:39,185 --> 00:05:40,777
Good, good, okay.
You got this?
133
00:05:40,854 --> 00:05:42,116
Yep.
134
00:05:42,188 --> 00:05:43,951
GREG: All right.
Take a nice deep breath.
135
00:05:44,024 --> 00:05:45,013
(INHALES DEEPLY)
136
00:05:45,725 --> 00:05:50,526
And focus
on relaxing your anus.
137
00:05:50,597 --> 00:05:53,657
Right. That's right.
You just want
to let it dilate,
138
00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:56,759
sort of like
a flower opening up.
139
00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:58,469
Blossoming lotus.
140
00:05:59,172 --> 00:06:01,333
Sort of like
a desert cactus.
141
00:06:01,675 --> 00:06:02,699
Maturing.
142
00:06:02,776 --> 00:06:03,834
(ANDROVSKY GROANS)
It's okay.
143
00:06:03,910 --> 00:06:07,505
Just a little,
friendly visitor
just saying hello.
144
00:06:08,481 --> 00:06:10,745
All right, I'm just gonna
stick it in a little further.
145
00:06:10,817 --> 00:06:11,909
Oh!
146
00:06:12,952 --> 00:06:14,442
Good smooth insertion.
147
00:06:14,521 --> 00:06:15,852
Thank you.
148
00:06:15,922 --> 00:06:19,756
I'm gonna release the clamp.
And let it flow.
149
00:06:20,093 --> 00:06:21,492
(SIGHS) Better.
150
00:06:21,995 --> 00:06:23,189
How's that?
151
00:06:23,263 --> 00:06:24,287
That was great.
152
00:06:28,468 --> 00:06:29,992
Nice technique.
153
00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,560
That was so fun.
154
00:06:31,838 --> 00:06:33,772
Yeah, yeah.
155
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,400
I was thinking about it
and, honestly,
156
00:06:36,476 --> 00:06:39,240
I just don't have time
to moonlight pitching
a drug right now.
157
00:06:39,312 --> 00:06:40,540
Shot down. (LAUGHS)
158
00:06:40,747 --> 00:06:42,271
No, it's not you.
It's just...
159
00:06:42,348 --> 00:06:44,373
No, I get it, you know.
160
00:06:44,451 --> 00:06:46,851
Running nursing
in med-surge is a big job.
161
00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,587
Yeah, yeah, so big,
162
00:06:48,655 --> 00:06:50,418
I'm making less than I did
when I was in the ER.
163
00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:53,050
Look, we are sponsoring
a convention at the Hilton.
164
00:06:53,126 --> 00:06:54,150
Mmm-hmm.
165
00:06:54,227 --> 00:06:58,027
You can make tons of dough
for, like, one speech.
166
00:06:58,098 --> 00:06:59,087
Think about it.
167
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,795
Okay. I will,
I'll think about it.
Okay.
168
00:07:02,135 --> 00:07:03,466
Knuckles?
169
00:07:03,536 --> 00:07:04,525
Knuckles.
170
00:07:04,604 --> 00:07:06,731
That was bad-ass,
by the way.
171
00:07:06,806 --> 00:07:08,899
Yeah. Literally.
172
00:07:40,006 --> 00:07:41,496
JACK: Dr. Bob.
173
00:07:42,709 --> 00:07:44,142
Scumbag.
174
00:07:45,678 --> 00:07:48,112
DINA: Jack, my taxi's here.
175
00:07:49,249 --> 00:07:51,183
Oh, honey,
I just got off with Deb.
176
00:07:51,251 --> 00:07:53,344
They are
officially separated.
177
00:07:53,419 --> 00:07:55,649
Dr. Bob finished moving out.
178
00:07:55,722 --> 00:07:57,349
That lowlife.
179
00:07:57,423 --> 00:07:59,118
Yeah. You can
say that again.
180
00:07:59,192 --> 00:08:00,318
You sure you don't want me
to come with you?
181
00:08:00,426 --> 00:08:01,757
No, you know,
I think Deb needs
182
00:08:01,828 --> 00:08:03,227
a little mother-daughter
time, honey.
183
00:08:03,296 --> 00:08:04,285
All right?
184
00:08:04,564 --> 00:08:05,758
Having an affair
with a nurse.
185
00:08:05,832 --> 00:08:07,424
I can't believe
I didn't see
the warning signs.
186
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,933
He was very discreet.
187
00:08:09,002 --> 00:08:12,403
She didn't even know
until she saw
those text messages.
188
00:08:12,472 --> 00:08:13,461
Whatever you call them.
189
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:15,531
Yeah, but I'm trained
to detect that sort
of behavior, honey,
190
00:08:15,608 --> 00:08:18,042
and the truth is
I was so busy putting
Focker through the wringer,
191
00:08:18,111 --> 00:08:19,806
Dr. Bob slipped
right under my radar.
192
00:08:19,879 --> 00:08:21,540
Oh, don't be
so hard on yourself.
193
00:08:21,614 --> 00:08:24,845
Well, I'll never
let that happen again.
194
00:08:26,753 --> 00:08:29,449
Are you having one of
your little heart palpies
again, Jack?
195
00:08:29,522 --> 00:08:31,854
My muscles are
a little tight!
196
00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,290
Yeah, yeah.
From stress.
197
00:08:33,359 --> 00:08:37,455
I can see that.
Okay, will you just,
please, just relax, okay?
198
00:08:37,530 --> 00:08:39,828
Everything is gonna be
all right. Honest.
199
00:08:39,899 --> 00:08:41,059
(GRUNTS)
(TAXI HORN HONKING)
200
00:08:41,134 --> 00:08:43,034
Oh, I got to go.
Okay.
201
00:08:43,102 --> 00:08:44,364
I'm gonna miss you.
202
00:08:49,642 --> 00:08:50,939
(PHONE RINGING)
203
00:08:52,612 --> 00:08:53,601
Hey, Mom.
204
00:08:53,746 --> 00:08:56,840
Hello, my precious prince,
how are you, darling?
205
00:08:56,916 --> 00:08:58,383
Good. How's the TV show going?
206
00:08:58,618 --> 00:09:01,815
Oh, great.
You know what this
week's episode is about?
207
00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:05,221
Using the latest sexual toys
to spice up your love life.
208
00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:06,280
Really?
Yeah.
209
00:09:06,359 --> 00:09:07,724
As an early Hanukkah present,
210
00:09:07,794 --> 00:09:10,354
I'm gonna
send you and Pam a box
of these musical condoms.
211
00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:11,854
Don't do that.
212
00:09:11,931 --> 00:09:14,729
You got to hear this, honey.
There's a little
speaker inside.
213
00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:17,463
And the faster you go,
the louder it gets.
214
00:09:17,704 --> 00:09:20,400
You know what?
Mom, Pam and I are fine.
We don't need musical condoms.
215
00:09:20,773 --> 00:09:23,333
Honey, every couple can use
a little stimulation.
216
00:09:23,543 --> 00:09:25,477
Oh, by the way,
interesting episode last week.
217
00:09:25,545 --> 00:09:27,206
Which one? "Masturbation
Through The Ages"?
218
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,440
I thought we agreed
you weren't gonna
219
00:09:28,514 --> 00:09:29,640
talk about me
on the air anymore.
220
00:09:29,716 --> 00:09:32,913
Please, it was just
a little anecdote about
carpal tunnel syndrome
221
00:09:32,986 --> 00:09:34,886
from excessive
self-pleasuring.
222
00:09:35,154 --> 00:09:37,054
I have to connect
your father now, okay?
223
00:09:37,423 --> 00:09:38,981
We need to
tell you something.
224
00:09:39,659 --> 00:09:41,354
(FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYING)
225
00:09:41,427 --> 00:09:42,553
(EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH)
226
00:09:43,129 --> 00:09:44,153
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
227
00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:45,219
Ooh.
228
00:09:45,632 --> 00:09:47,429
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
229
00:09:48,501 --> 00:09:50,526
Hi! Gay? Roz?
230
00:09:50,803 --> 00:09:51,827
Hello?
Yeah, I'm here.
231
00:09:51,905 --> 00:09:52,963
Gaylord?
Dad?
232
00:09:53,039 --> 00:09:54,028
Can you hear me?
Where are you?
233
00:09:54,107 --> 00:09:55,904
You won't believe it.
I'm in Seville, Spain.
234
00:09:56,109 --> 00:09:57,303
Where... What are
you doing in Spain?
235
00:09:58,144 --> 00:09:59,168
I'm studying.
236
00:09:59,245 --> 00:10:01,372
ROZ: Sweetheart,
your father decided that
237
00:10:01,447 --> 00:10:03,005
he's not gonna make
it to the twins' party.
238
00:10:03,082 --> 00:10:04,071
What?
239
00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:05,481
Gay, you remember
when your mother's show
240
00:10:05,551 --> 00:10:06,711
hit number one
in the ratings
241
00:10:06,786 --> 00:10:08,344
and she signed on
for a second year?
242
00:10:08,421 --> 00:10:10,946
I looked in the mirror
and I said, "Who am I?"
243
00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:13,020
Then I see this
clip on the YouTube
244
00:10:13,092 --> 00:10:15,925
and there is a Spanish guy
and he's dancing the flamenco.
245
00:10:16,029 --> 00:10:18,122
And the sweat is
pouring off of his face
246
00:10:18,197 --> 00:10:19,960
and there is such
passion in his eyes
247
00:10:20,033 --> 00:10:21,796
and I said, "That's it!"
That's what?
248
00:10:22,135 --> 00:10:25,730
That's me. I am flamenco!
I will master this art.
249
00:10:25,805 --> 00:10:27,864
Dad, this is crazy.
What are you doing?
You're in Spain?
250
00:10:27,941 --> 00:10:29,067
You're gonna miss the party?
251
00:10:29,142 --> 00:10:31,667
You picked a hell of a time
to go through man-opause.
252
00:10:31,744 --> 00:10:33,541
Roz, I am not going
through man-opause,
253
00:10:33,613 --> 00:10:35,342
I'm just trying to find
my true north.
254
00:10:35,515 --> 00:10:37,483
True north, huh?
What are you,
a compass or something?
255
00:10:37,684 --> 00:10:38,673
No, but let's face it.
256
00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:39,911
I'm a stay-at-home dad
257
00:10:39,986 --> 00:10:42,079
whose kid hasn't lived
at home in 25 years.
258
00:10:42,155 --> 00:10:44,885
There's an Arthur Murray
studio right here
in Miami Beach.
259
00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:46,516
Why schlep
all the way to Spain?
260
00:10:46,659 --> 00:10:47,819
I can't believe you, Roz.
261
00:10:48,027 --> 00:10:49,426
Why can't you
support my dreams
262
00:10:49,495 --> 00:10:50,962
the way I have
always supported yours?
263
00:10:51,030 --> 00:10:52,497
Guys, guys...
BERNIE: When you
wanted to try
264
00:10:52,565 --> 00:10:55,693
new sex positions
for your research,
I was your guinea pig!
265
00:10:55,902 --> 00:10:56,891
You volunteered.
266
00:10:56,970 --> 00:10:58,437
BERNIE: I pulled
my hamstring...
Hey! Hey!
267
00:10:58,504 --> 00:10:59,732
...doing a reverse cowgirl!
268
00:10:59,872 --> 00:11:01,169
That's because
you did it backwards.
269
00:11:01,441 --> 00:11:02,669
I never went soft on you.
270
00:11:02,909 --> 00:11:04,399
ROZ: Bernie, do you hear
how you're upsetting your son?
271
00:11:04,477 --> 00:11:06,308
BERNIE: Let me talk.
Listen, will you?
272
00:11:09,649 --> 00:11:11,480
That son of a bitch.
273
00:11:26,766 --> 00:11:28,495
Oh, shit.
274
00:11:31,537 --> 00:11:33,334
Oh, shit.
275
00:11:33,973 --> 00:11:35,065
(PURRING)
276
00:11:40,179 --> 00:11:41,806
Hello?
OPERATOR: 911,
what's your emergency?
277
00:11:41,881 --> 00:11:44,441
Yeah, my name is Jack Byrnes.
I live at 28
Cherry Blossom Lane.
278
00:11:44,517 --> 00:11:45,814
I'm going into cardiac arrest.
279
00:11:45,885 --> 00:11:47,716
I need an ambulance
right away.
280
00:11:47,787 --> 00:11:49,448
I'm guessing your average
response time at this hour
281
00:11:49,522 --> 00:11:51,149
is between 12 and 17 minutes.
282
00:11:51,224 --> 00:11:53,590
I need you to do
better than that.
Thank you, goodbye.
283
00:12:03,803 --> 00:12:06,328
Stay calm, Mr. Jinx.
I'm going to
defibrillate myself.
284
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,429
Clear!
285
00:12:09,208 --> 00:12:10,300
(JACK GROANS)
286
00:12:11,110 --> 00:12:13,169
Seriously, though,
my dad, he always
sounds a little crazy,
287
00:12:13,246 --> 00:12:14,804
but this was like
a whole different level.
288
00:12:15,281 --> 00:12:17,215
No, I mean they were
really going at it.
Really?
289
00:12:17,283 --> 00:12:18,875
She accused him of
going through man-opause.
290
00:12:18,951 --> 00:12:19,940
(CHUCKLES)
291
00:12:20,219 --> 00:12:21,208
Is that a real thing?
292
00:12:21,387 --> 00:12:22,911
Your parents have
the best marriage
of anyone I know.
293
00:12:22,989 --> 00:12:23,978
They will be fine.
294
00:12:24,390 --> 00:12:25,857
Yeah, I guess so.
295
00:12:26,192 --> 00:12:27,181
You were talking
about the kids.
296
00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,387
Really, their teacher
suggested private school?
297
00:12:29,462 --> 00:12:31,862
Yeah, she said
she was concerned
about them "getting lost"
298
00:12:31,931 --> 00:12:33,455
in the public school
system or something.
299
00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:35,099
What's the name
of this place?
300
00:12:36,235 --> 00:12:37,702
The Early Human School.
301
00:12:38,304 --> 00:12:40,204
I have absolutely
heard of that place.
302
00:12:40,706 --> 00:12:42,298
Sounds like a school
for Neanderthals.
303
00:12:42,442 --> 00:12:45,639
No, it's actually considered
the Harvard of kindergartens.
304
00:12:45,845 --> 00:12:47,472
Mmm. Well, I think
Harvard's cheaper.
305
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:48,704
(BEEPING)
306
00:12:48,781 --> 00:12:49,770
I'll go see who that is.
307
00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:53,281
Hey, greetings
from the Black Sea.
You look terrific.
308
00:12:53,519 --> 00:12:56,147
Hi, stranger, thanks.
What are you doing there?
309
00:12:56,222 --> 00:12:59,191
Listen, Pam.
Is there any way
I could speak to Greg?
310
00:12:59,258 --> 00:13:01,624
I want to get his advice
on something,
believe it or not.
311
00:13:01,694 --> 00:13:02,718
Sure, absolutely. Hey, Greg?
312
00:13:02,795 --> 00:13:03,819
GREG: Yeah.
313
00:13:03,896 --> 00:13:05,921
Greg, honey,
it's your buddy, Kevin.
314
00:13:05,998 --> 00:13:07,226
Hold on.
Thank you.
315
00:13:07,533 --> 00:13:08,898
Hey.
Hey.
316
00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:10,025
How you doing, man?
317
00:13:10,303 --> 00:13:12,134
I was just doing
a little sailing
318
00:13:12,205 --> 00:13:14,298
and living the dream,
G-Diggity-Dog.
319
00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:15,529
Cheers!
Kevin.
320
00:13:15,608 --> 00:13:17,303
Hey.
You need a refill on that
321
00:13:17,376 --> 00:13:18,741
goji berry smoothie?
322
00:13:19,011 --> 00:13:21,275
You read my mind.
Fill her up, Pak-Man.
323
00:13:21,547 --> 00:13:23,242
Greg, you know
Deepak Chopra, right?
324
00:13:23,850 --> 00:13:24,839
I know of him.
325
00:13:25,051 --> 00:13:26,951
Hi, Greg.
Hi, Mr. Chopra.
326
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,644
Dr. Chopra.
327
00:13:29,255 --> 00:13:31,086
KEVIN: Get out of here,
you rascal.
328
00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:36,321
So, listen, the reason
why I'm calling is
because next week...
329
00:13:36,395 --> 00:13:38,329
Kevin, who do
you Skype with?
330
00:13:38,397 --> 00:13:41,093
I am just talking
to my friend, Greg Focker.
331
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:42,929
Hey.
KEVIN: Come here.
332
00:13:46,139 --> 00:13:47,970
Hey, honey,
what'd you do with
Henry's Lactaid?
333
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,064
(BOTH LAUGHING)
334
00:13:49,142 --> 00:13:50,905
Oh, crap, I forgot. Sorry.
335
00:13:51,177 --> 00:13:52,508
Well, okay.
But did you call
the face-paint lady?
336
00:13:53,146 --> 00:13:54,738
No, I'm sorry.
337
00:13:54,814 --> 00:13:56,577
I had, like,
97 things to do, so...
338
00:13:56,649 --> 00:13:59,482
Honey, I asked you
to do two things,
that's all I asked.
339
00:13:59,552 --> 00:14:00,985
I know. Sorry, babe.
340
00:14:02,622 --> 00:14:03,816
(CLEARS THROAT)
341
00:14:05,024 --> 00:14:07,618
Okay, so here's the dealio.
342
00:14:07,693 --> 00:14:10,025
I'm going to propose
to Svetlana.
343
00:14:10,630 --> 00:14:13,190
You're gonna propose?
That's incredible.
344
00:14:13,266 --> 00:14:16,599
I'm gonna have three Russian
MiG fighter jets fly by
345
00:14:16,702 --> 00:14:19,034
and skywrite
"Marry me, Svetlana."
346
00:14:19,105 --> 00:14:24,099
And then I'm gonna hide
a 50-carat super-tasteful
diamond ring
347
00:14:24,177 --> 00:14:26,441
in this tin of
extremely rare beluga.
348
00:14:26,512 --> 00:14:29,003
Then we will
finish the night
349
00:14:29,081 --> 00:14:31,948
with a special performance
that I choreographed
350
00:14:32,051 --> 00:14:35,543
with members of
the Bolshoi Ballet,
dedicated to our love.
351
00:14:35,621 --> 00:14:36,679
Thoughts?
352
00:14:37,390 --> 00:14:39,415
Honestly, I'm thinking
maybe it's a little
too involved.
353
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:40,614
Yeah?
354
00:14:40,693 --> 00:14:42,752
I mean, with Pam,
my whole thing was just
355
00:14:42,828 --> 00:14:45,058
keep it simple,
speak from the heart.
356
00:14:46,032 --> 00:14:50,969
Keep it simple
and speak from the heart.
I like it, hombre.
357
00:14:51,037 --> 00:14:54,404
You know what?
I'd better call off some
Russian MiG fighter jets.
358
00:14:54,473 --> 00:14:57,408
And, hey, by the time
I get to Chi-town,
359
00:14:57,476 --> 00:15:00,343
this old dog here
could be an engaged man.
360
00:15:00,413 --> 00:15:01,402
(WHOOPS)
361
00:15:01,547 --> 00:15:02,809
Hey, Kevin?
Yeah.
362
00:15:02,882 --> 00:15:03,871
The jet skis are ready!
363
00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:04,939
The jet skis are ready?
364
00:15:05,017 --> 00:15:06,678
Well, fire 'em up for me.
Okay.
365
00:15:06,752 --> 00:15:08,515
I'll be right there.
366
00:15:08,955 --> 00:15:10,286
Jet-skiing monks.
367
00:15:11,357 --> 00:15:15,020
Wow, I cannot believe
that Kevin is
finally settling down.
368
00:15:15,094 --> 00:15:16,459
Well, I think
he's found a soul mate.
369
00:15:16,529 --> 00:15:17,553
Yeah?
370
00:15:17,630 --> 00:15:19,962
Hey, you're gonna
eat some of this.
She seemed nice.
371
00:15:20,466 --> 00:15:22,900
Yeah. I am very happy
for Kevin.
372
00:15:22,969 --> 00:15:25,096
I love him,
especially when he's
not obsessed with you.
373
00:15:25,438 --> 00:15:27,099
Oh, come on.
You're being ridiculous.
374
00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:29,098
(PHONE RINGING)
PAM: Oh, you got it?
375
00:15:29,275 --> 00:15:30,469
Hey, sweetheart,
will you please
376
00:15:30,543 --> 00:15:31,703
take a bite of
the lasagna, honey?
377
00:15:31,777 --> 00:15:33,836
HENRY: No. Uh-uh.
Do you not like it?
378
00:15:34,213 --> 00:15:36,147
Hey, what's the good word,
Grandpa Jack?
379
00:15:36,582 --> 00:15:37,571
Yay!
380
00:15:37,717 --> 00:15:38,706
JACK: Greg.
381
00:15:38,918 --> 00:15:40,010
This is Jack Byrnes.
382
00:15:40,653 --> 00:15:43,144
Yeah, I know.
I could tell
from the caller ID.
383
00:15:43,389 --> 00:15:44,378
How are you doing?
384
00:15:44,457 --> 00:15:47,654
Greg, excuse yourself
from the table by saying
these exact words,
385
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,061
"I don't know
if I still have it,
but let me check my files."
386
00:15:51,831 --> 00:15:53,423
What?
If Pam asks you what I want,
387
00:15:53,666 --> 00:15:56,100
tell her that I
asked you to locate
your birth certificate
388
00:15:56,168 --> 00:15:57,499
for my genealogical work.
389
00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:59,101
Just do it.
390
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:04,432
I don't know
if I have that, Jack,
but let me check my files.
391
00:16:05,111 --> 00:16:06,601
Files? You have files?
392
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:11,046
Yes, yeah, I do.
I keep files.
393
00:16:11,117 --> 00:16:12,414
He wants me to get
my birth certificate
394
00:16:12,485 --> 00:16:14,350
for that family tree thing
he's doing.
395
00:16:15,788 --> 00:16:17,881
Jack? Everything okay?
396
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:21,455
Everything is fine, Greg,
I suffered a minor
heart attack,
397
00:16:21,527 --> 00:16:23,324
but I was able to
defibrillate myself
398
00:16:23,396 --> 00:16:25,159
before going into
fatal cardiac arrest.
399
00:16:25,464 --> 00:16:27,557
Jesus!
You defibrillated yourself?
400
00:16:27,733 --> 00:16:29,030
The doctor said
I was a lucky man
401
00:16:29,101 --> 00:16:30,363
and I've just
got to watch my diet
402
00:16:30,436 --> 00:16:31,630
and keep my stress level down.
403
00:16:31,904 --> 00:16:34,532
Wow, okay, so I guess
404
00:16:34,607 --> 00:16:36,598
you guys aren't gonna be
able to come to
the twins' birthday party.
405
00:16:36,676 --> 00:16:39,042
No, Dina and I
will be there
as planned, Greg.
406
00:16:39,111 --> 00:16:42,774
And I was able to keep this
on a need-to-know basis.
407
00:16:42,848 --> 00:16:45,544
And right now,
you're the only person
who needs to know.
408
00:16:45,751 --> 00:16:48,743
Well, come on, Jack.
I mean, I think
Dina needs to know.
409
00:16:49,021 --> 00:16:50,283
Greg, stop talking and listen.
410
00:16:50,356 --> 00:16:51,482
Okay.
411
00:16:51,691 --> 00:16:54,751
Now, my genealogical
research has allowed me
to track the Byrnes family
412
00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:56,727
as far back as 1643.
413
00:16:57,096 --> 00:16:58,358
1643?
414
00:16:58,798 --> 00:17:01,164
Now, I wouldn't be
able to do that, say,
to your family,
415
00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:03,565
what with all
the wandering peddlers
and nameless peasants.
416
00:17:03,636 --> 00:17:04,660
Mmm-hmm.
417
00:17:04,737 --> 00:17:05,726
But, as long as there
have been Byrneses,
418
00:17:05,805 --> 00:17:07,136
there's always
been a patriarch
419
00:17:07,206 --> 00:17:09,197
to lead our family through
good times and bad.
420
00:17:09,275 --> 00:17:11,140
And I've finally
come to the realization
421
00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:14,441
that the next in line
to the throne, Greg,
422
00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:15,571
is you.
423
00:17:16,215 --> 00:17:17,204
Me.
424
00:17:19,151 --> 00:17:20,641
Yes, you, Greg.
425
00:17:21,454 --> 00:17:23,115
Well...
So my question is this,
426
00:17:23,656 --> 00:17:26,523
in the event of my demise,
are you prepared
to lead this family?
427
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,053
You know, Jack,
we're right
in the middle of dinner.
428
00:17:30,129 --> 00:17:32,461
Maybe we could talk
about this, you know,
when you come into town.
429
00:17:32,932 --> 00:17:35,628
If I go down, Greg,
I need to know someone
will be responsible
430
00:17:35,701 --> 00:17:37,464
for the whole Byrnes clan.
431
00:17:37,536 --> 00:17:41,097
So I ask you, Greg,
are you prepared to be
432
00:17:42,708 --> 00:17:44,198
the Godfocker?
433
00:17:46,445 --> 00:17:48,106
The Godfocker?
434
00:17:48,614 --> 00:17:49,979
The Godfocker.
435
00:17:51,617 --> 00:17:55,314
Well, that is a very powerful
turn of phrase, Jack.
436
00:17:55,388 --> 00:18:00,018
And when you say Godfocker,
I mean... (CHUCKLES)
437
00:18:00,092 --> 00:18:03,084
I mean, I think
I know what you mean,
but I'm just...
438
00:18:03,162 --> 00:18:05,790
What exactly does that mean?
439
00:18:06,265 --> 00:18:09,598
It's an attitude, Greg.
It's a confidence.
440
00:18:09,668 --> 00:18:10,828
It's the way
you carry yourself
441
00:18:10,903 --> 00:18:13,428
that lets the world
know that the buck
stops with you.
442
00:18:15,841 --> 00:18:17,206
Yeah, I hear you. Mmm-hmm.
443
00:18:17,543 --> 00:18:20,410
None of this can be achieved
without the basics.
444
00:18:20,479 --> 00:18:21,741
A secure home for your family,
445
00:18:22,581 --> 00:18:24,742
a top-notch education
for your children...
446
00:18:24,884 --> 00:18:25,873
Okay.
447
00:18:25,985 --> 00:18:28,783
...and last but not least,
having your financial
house in order, Greg.
448
00:18:28,854 --> 00:18:29,912
Is that it? (LAUGHS)
449
00:18:30,156 --> 00:18:31,453
Are you laughing?
450
00:18:31,524 --> 00:18:33,185
Yeah, no, I'm just...
I was making... No.
451
00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:34,849
Because this is no
laughing matter, Greg.
452
00:18:35,294 --> 00:18:37,489
Good, 'cause
I'm not laughing. Okay?
453
00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:40,965
Are you saying
you have what it takes
to be the Godfocker?
454
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:44,028
Greg?
455
00:18:45,571 --> 00:18:48,768
Yes, Jack.
I have what it takes
456
00:18:50,376 --> 00:18:52,310
to be the Godfocker.
457
00:18:53,913 --> 00:18:56,882
I feel like a great weight
has been lifted
off my shoulders.
458
00:18:57,650 --> 00:19:00,414
And an equally
great weight put onto yours.
459
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,378
I like it.
I like the weight.
I want it.
460
00:19:05,357 --> 00:19:07,416
All right. Need-to-know.
461
00:19:07,526 --> 00:19:08,857
Need-to-know.
Just you and me.
462
00:19:08,928 --> 00:19:09,952
See you in two weeks.
463
00:19:10,029 --> 00:19:11,860
Okay. Bye.
464
00:19:19,572 --> 00:19:21,301
Hey, did you find it?
465
00:19:21,373 --> 00:19:23,034
Find what?
466
00:19:24,043 --> 00:19:25,032
Your birth certificate?
467
00:19:26,145 --> 00:19:27,772
Yes. It was in my files.
468
00:19:27,847 --> 00:19:28,836
Mmm.
469
00:19:29,715 --> 00:19:30,704
You know, I was thinking,
maybe we should
470
00:19:30,783 --> 00:19:33,013
take a look at that
Early Human School.
471
00:19:33,719 --> 00:19:36,210
Great. I'll make
some phone calls
and set up a tour.
472
00:19:36,655 --> 00:19:38,350
Good.
Good.
473
00:19:40,092 --> 00:19:41,081
Samantha.
474
00:19:45,064 --> 00:19:46,053
Henry.
475
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:48,660
You gonna have your lasagna?
476
00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:50,465
No, thank you.
477
00:19:54,507 --> 00:19:57,840
You know,
your mother worked very hard
making that lasagna for you.
478
00:19:58,377 --> 00:19:59,935
No. It tastes funny.
479
00:20:00,646 --> 00:20:03,046
He said he was feeling
kind of queasy, so...
480
00:20:03,682 --> 00:20:04,671
It's okay.
481
00:20:06,886 --> 00:20:08,183
Henry,
482
00:20:08,254 --> 00:20:12,315
I'm your father
and I'm requesting of you
to eat the lasagna.
483
00:20:14,593 --> 00:20:15,890
Fine.
484
00:20:17,563 --> 00:20:18,791
Good.
485
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,227
(PAM GASPS)
486
00:20:23,936 --> 00:20:24,925
(LAUGHING)
487
00:20:36,315 --> 00:20:38,215
Hello.
GREG: Hello?
488
00:20:38,284 --> 00:20:40,013
Greg? This is Jack Byrnes.
489
00:20:40,085 --> 00:20:42,053
Jack Byrnes,
this is Greg Focker.
490
00:20:42,121 --> 00:20:43,782
I know, Greg. I called you.
491
00:20:44,156 --> 00:20:47,182
Dina and I will be there
in approximately 18 seconds.
492
00:20:47,259 --> 00:20:48,658
Eighteen seconds, got it.
493
00:21:02,608 --> 00:21:04,542
Oh, no,
that's yours, honey.
494
00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:05,941
Welcome, in-laws!
495
00:21:06,178 --> 00:21:09,011
Oh, Gregor.
My goodness.
496
00:21:09,848 --> 00:21:12,715
Dina, Dina Bobina,
Banana Fana Fofina.
497
00:21:12,785 --> 00:21:14,616
I'm so happy to see you.
498
00:21:15,254 --> 00:21:16,243
Lovely Dina.
499
00:21:16,555 --> 00:21:17,715
You, too, Gregor.
500
00:21:18,457 --> 00:21:19,481
Hello, Jack.
501
00:21:19,558 --> 00:21:20,582
Greg.
502
00:21:26,565 --> 00:21:27,691
Everything okay, Greg?
503
00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:28,889
Everything's great.
504
00:21:29,168 --> 00:21:30,157
Good.
505
00:21:30,269 --> 00:21:32,362
Unfortunately,
renovations on the house,
506
00:21:32,438 --> 00:21:34,269
not quite where
I'd like them to be.
507
00:21:34,506 --> 00:21:35,803
Well, those things happen.
508
00:21:36,175 --> 00:21:38,336
They do. I mean,
never to me before.
509
00:21:44,083 --> 00:21:47,883
And Sam here has done
very, very well with her
tae kwon do lessons.
510
00:21:47,953 --> 00:21:48,942
She's a... What are you?
A yellow belt now?
511
00:21:49,021 --> 00:21:50,045
Yep.
512
00:21:50,122 --> 00:21:51,146
Yellow belt.
513
00:21:51,223 --> 00:21:52,485
Wow, sweetheart.
Very impressive.
514
00:21:52,558 --> 00:21:54,890
She's lethal.
She is a ninja.
515
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,052
PAM: Proud of her.
516
00:21:56,128 --> 00:22:00,360
Now, Henry,
you're going to drink
your milk, aren't you?
517
00:22:00,432 --> 00:22:02,559
You want to hit the same
growth spurt as your sister.
518
00:22:02,635 --> 00:22:03,659
DINA: (WHISPERS) Jack.
519
00:22:03,736 --> 00:22:04,998
I'm just saying, you know,
it's hard to believe
520
00:22:05,070 --> 00:22:06,196
that they're
three minutes apart.
521
00:22:06,271 --> 00:22:07,260
Shh.
522
00:22:07,339 --> 00:22:09,307
Henry, do what
your grandpa says.
523
00:22:09,808 --> 00:22:11,139
Aw, man.
For real.
524
00:22:12,211 --> 00:22:13,200
Good man.
525
00:22:14,213 --> 00:22:15,942
Okay. Who wants some turkey?
526
00:22:16,015 --> 00:22:17,607
I do, right here!
Right here!
527
00:22:18,150 --> 00:22:20,880
Sweetheart, you didn't
have to make a whole
turkey just for us.
528
00:22:20,953 --> 00:22:21,942
Why not?
529
00:22:22,087 --> 00:22:23,076
Actually, Greg did it.
530
00:22:23,555 --> 00:22:24,544
DINA: Greg.
531
00:22:24,690 --> 00:22:26,453
Well, I remember
at last year's Thanksgiving,
532
00:22:26,525 --> 00:22:28,220
Jack said he liked
roast turkey so much
533
00:22:28,293 --> 00:22:30,386
and he couldn't
understand why people
only had it once a year.
534
00:22:30,562 --> 00:22:32,154
Excellent memory, Greg.
535
00:22:32,264 --> 00:22:35,495
Plus, it's a wonderfully
lean meat. Healthy.
Good for your heart.
536
00:22:37,069 --> 00:22:38,195
(CHUCKLES) Such a sweetheart.
537
00:22:39,071 --> 00:22:40,470
Grandpa Jack,
can I ask you a question?
538
00:22:40,539 --> 00:22:41,870
You surely can.
539
00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:43,601
How come you're afraid
of lizards?
540
00:22:43,709 --> 00:22:47,304
Henry, that's
a very good question.
And I'll tell you why.
541
00:22:47,379 --> 00:22:50,405
When I was stationed
in the Mekong Delta
during the Vietnam War,
542
00:22:50,482 --> 00:22:54,077
a tiny gecko crawled
into my ear one night
and laid its eggs.
543
00:22:54,153 --> 00:22:58,783
And I had to endure
the torturous probing
of our unit's medic
544
00:22:58,857 --> 00:23:00,950
to remove the lizard larvae
from my ear canal
545
00:23:01,026 --> 00:23:03,085
before they hatched
into my brain.
546
00:23:03,162 --> 00:23:04,322
Jack.
547
00:23:04,396 --> 00:23:05,385
Cool.
548
00:23:05,898 --> 00:23:06,922
Yuck.
549
00:23:06,999 --> 00:23:08,489
Yes, thanks for
sharing that, Dad.
550
00:23:08,634 --> 00:23:13,298
All right,
gobble, gobble, everybody!
It's turkey time!
551
00:23:13,539 --> 00:23:14,597
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
552
00:23:15,107 --> 00:23:17,439
DINA: That looks good.
That's a work of art.
553
00:23:17,543 --> 00:23:18,601
Thank you very much.
554
00:23:18,711 --> 00:23:19,700
Looks great, Greg.
555
00:23:20,145 --> 00:23:22,613
Thank you, Jack.
And to carve it,
556
00:23:22,681 --> 00:23:26,173
I thought we might use
the beautiful
Irish hunting knife
557
00:23:26,251 --> 00:23:28,481
emblazoned with
the Byrnes family crest
558
00:23:28,554 --> 00:23:31,114
that Jack so thoughtfully
brought back for us
559
00:23:31,190 --> 00:23:33,283
from his ancestral homeland.
560
00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:35,825
Look at that, kids.
DINA: Great.
561
00:23:35,894 --> 00:23:37,191
Wow.
Look at that.
562
00:23:37,262 --> 00:23:40,231
See that crest?
That was used
by your ancestors
563
00:23:40,299 --> 00:23:43,530
long time ago,
back in the olden days,
to identify their family.
564
00:23:44,036 --> 00:23:45,469
Daddy, can I ask
you a question?
565
00:23:45,637 --> 00:23:48,470
Absolutely.
He loves history.
Just soaks it up.
566
00:23:49,308 --> 00:23:51,173
Can a girl poop
from her vagina?
567
00:23:54,179 --> 00:23:55,544
No, she cannot.
568
00:23:55,848 --> 00:23:56,906
They're a little
young for genealogy.
569
00:23:56,982 --> 00:23:58,006
GREG: Yes.
570
00:23:58,083 --> 00:23:59,710
Just a little off topic there.
571
00:24:00,185 --> 00:24:02,119
Jack. Here you go!
572
00:24:02,321 --> 00:24:05,290
Greg. You're
the turkey carver now.
573
00:24:06,525 --> 00:24:07,787
Thank you. I'm honored.
574
00:24:09,695 --> 00:24:12,425
All right. Let's carve
the roast beast!
575
00:24:12,498 --> 00:24:13,522
DINA: Mmm.
576
00:24:13,599 --> 00:24:15,157
Let's see. I think
I'll start right side.
577
00:24:15,234 --> 00:24:16,724
DINA: Nice and tender.
578
00:24:18,137 --> 00:24:20,765
So, Greg, how are you
liking your new job?
579
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:22,732
Well, I'll tell you, Dina,
580
00:24:23,642 --> 00:24:25,803
it's a lot of responsibility
on my plate.
581
00:24:26,178 --> 00:24:28,874
But that's kind of
what I love about it.
582
00:24:29,715 --> 00:24:31,979
I mean, the opportunity
to manage an entire unit,
583
00:24:32,584 --> 00:24:33,642
in a way,
it's kind of like...
584
00:24:33,719 --> 00:24:35,186
(SCREAMS)
(YELLS)
585
00:24:35,254 --> 00:24:36,687
Christ!
Shit!
586
00:24:38,190 --> 00:24:39,350
(ALL SCREAMING)
587
00:24:41,827 --> 00:24:43,727
Why couldn't you just get him
a warm-blooded animal?
588
00:24:43,829 --> 00:24:45,296
Pressure.
SAMANTHA: Mom!
589
00:24:45,364 --> 00:24:46,490
(RINGING)
590
00:24:46,565 --> 00:24:47,589
PAM: Honey. It's okay,
it's okay, honey.
591
00:24:47,666 --> 00:24:49,497
Hello.
PAM: Where is he going?
Are you okay?
592
00:24:49,568 --> 00:24:50,762
Hey, Kevin!
593
00:24:50,836 --> 00:24:52,667
It's Kevin, everybody.
594
00:24:52,738 --> 00:24:53,727
What?
Okay.
595
00:24:54,740 --> 00:24:55,900
You're in Chicago?
596
00:24:59,378 --> 00:25:00,367
(DOORBELL RINGS)
597
00:25:02,681 --> 00:25:04,581
Hey. Hey.
598
00:25:04,850 --> 00:25:06,784
Hey, everybody. Hello.
Kevin.
599
00:25:06,852 --> 00:25:08,183
J.B.
600
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,385
Oh! Good to see you.
601
00:25:11,056 --> 00:25:13,456
There he is!
The engaged guy!
602
00:25:13,525 --> 00:25:14,685
How you doing, man?
603
00:25:14,860 --> 00:25:15,918
Oh! What happened
to your pointer?
604
00:25:16,028 --> 00:25:19,486
I had a little incident
with the business end
of a turkey. It's cool.
605
00:25:19,598 --> 00:25:20,724
Where's Svetlana?
Yeah!
606
00:25:20,799 --> 00:25:23,700
Or should I say, the future
Mrs. Kevin Rawley?
607
00:25:24,636 --> 00:25:26,069
She broke up with me.
608
00:25:26,238 --> 00:25:28,035
No.
Oh.
609
00:25:28,173 --> 00:25:29,162
GREG: You're kidding.
610
00:25:29,241 --> 00:25:30,367
I'm so sorry.
611
00:25:30,442 --> 00:25:31,500
Thanks, Pam.
612
00:25:34,313 --> 00:25:36,474
You always know exactly
the right thing to say to me.
613
00:25:37,249 --> 00:25:38,238
"I'm so sorry"?
614
00:25:39,017 --> 00:25:41,008
My anchor.
615
00:25:41,486 --> 00:25:42,475
What happened?
616
00:25:42,721 --> 00:25:44,416
What?
What happened?
617
00:25:44,990 --> 00:25:47,390
I don't know.
I'm still trying to
make sense of it myself.
618
00:25:47,459 --> 00:25:49,518
We were having
some street food
619
00:25:49,595 --> 00:25:51,586
outside a government
building in Bulgaria
620
00:25:52,197 --> 00:25:53,687
and I said, "Hey, you want
to get married?"
621
00:25:53,765 --> 00:25:55,665
And I took out
a little piece of string
622
00:25:55,734 --> 00:25:57,599
and I tied the twine
around her finger,
623
00:25:57,669 --> 00:25:59,796
and she just...
She threw it on
the ground and said no.
624
00:25:59,972 --> 00:26:01,496
Or nyet,
'cause she's Russian.
625
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,609
She caught the next
plane out of there.
Adios, Kevin.
626
00:26:05,010 --> 00:26:06,807
Your proposal seems
way out of character.
627
00:26:06,879 --> 00:26:08,608
Why did you put
so little effort into it?
628
00:26:08,981 --> 00:26:09,970
Greg told me to.
629
00:26:11,550 --> 00:26:12,983
What are you...
Kevin, no, no.
630
00:26:13,252 --> 00:26:15,186
What are you talking about?
I didn't...
HENRY: Daddy?
631
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,514
I can't sleep.
632
00:26:17,155 --> 00:26:18,417
Still in diapers.
633
00:26:18,757 --> 00:26:21,225
No, Jack, they're pull-ups.
We're weaning him off diapers.
634
00:26:21,660 --> 00:26:22,649
What's up, man?
635
00:26:22,728 --> 00:26:25,390
I can't stop thinking
about all that blood.
636
00:26:25,464 --> 00:26:27,523
Really? All right, well,
how about I read you a story?
637
00:26:27,599 --> 00:26:28,998
Uncle Kevin!
638
00:26:29,067 --> 00:26:30,398
How you doing, tiger?
639
00:26:30,469 --> 00:26:32,130
Good.
Oh!
640
00:26:32,237 --> 00:26:33,226
Wow.
641
00:26:34,206 --> 00:26:35,366
Are you having
a hard time sleeping?
642
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,874
Yeah.
Oh.
643
00:26:39,111 --> 00:26:40,100
(CRACKS)
644
00:26:41,647 --> 00:26:43,171
There we go.
645
00:26:43,248 --> 00:26:44,237
Jesus. Henry?
646
00:26:45,017 --> 00:26:46,712
Are you...
Shh. He's sleeping.
647
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:50,247
He's sleeping.
I put him in a still-point.
648
00:26:50,656 --> 00:26:52,055
It's a massage technique
649
00:26:52,124 --> 00:26:54,115
that relaxes
the body by gently
650
00:26:54,192 --> 00:26:56,422
easing the flow of
cerebrospinal fluid.
651
00:26:56,662 --> 00:26:58,129
Yeah. Look at him.
652
00:26:58,196 --> 00:27:00,323
He's gonna wake up
feeling so refreshed.
653
00:27:00,732 --> 00:27:03,326
I've been studying
a lot of Eastern medicine
in my down time.
654
00:27:04,169 --> 00:27:06,364
Well, listen,
I just came by
to say my hellos,
655
00:27:06,438 --> 00:27:07,928
so I will head on out.
656
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:09,029
Good.
Okay.
657
00:27:09,107 --> 00:27:11,166
Hey, Kev, listen,
do you need a place to stay?
658
00:27:11,243 --> 00:27:13,473
No, he doesn't.
You got a place
to stay, right?
659
00:27:13,545 --> 00:27:15,103
And we're pretty full up.
Not a problem.
660
00:27:15,180 --> 00:27:17,011
I volunteer at a South Side
homeless shelter.
661
00:27:17,082 --> 00:27:18,481
So, I'll probably
stay there
662
00:27:18,550 --> 00:27:19,983
and just work
the soup kitchen line
in the morning.
663
00:27:20,052 --> 00:27:22,145
That is so
wonderful, Kevin.
664
00:27:22,220 --> 00:27:24,347
Yeah, it's funny,
I feed them food,
665
00:27:24,423 --> 00:27:26,653
but those vagrants
and drifters feed my soul,
666
00:27:27,159 --> 00:27:28,820
so it works out
pretty good for all of us.
667
00:27:29,461 --> 00:27:31,190
Perfect.
We always need extra hands,
668
00:27:31,263 --> 00:27:32,958
if you guys wanna
come on down tomorrow...
669
00:27:33,131 --> 00:27:35,531
Actually, Greg and I
are taking a tour
of this place called
670
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,295
the Early Human
School tomorrow.
671
00:27:37,369 --> 00:27:38,495
But maybe after...
You're kidding me,
672
00:27:38,603 --> 00:27:39,695
the Early Human School?
673
00:27:40,105 --> 00:27:41,094
Right.
674
00:27:41,173 --> 00:27:42,902
My investment group
handles their endowment fund.
675
00:27:42,975 --> 00:27:44,806
In fact,
the director, Prudence,
676
00:27:44,876 --> 00:27:46,639
is a dear friend
and ex-lover of mine.
677
00:27:47,713 --> 00:27:49,180
I'm gonna put in
a good word for you.
678
00:27:49,348 --> 00:27:51,339
That would be great,
wouldn't it?
679
00:27:51,583 --> 00:27:52,572
Oh, of course.
680
00:27:52,651 --> 00:27:55,313
Or not. I mean,
you know, she's an ex-lover,
I think that'd be awkward.
681
00:27:55,454 --> 00:27:58,184
No, nonsense.
I'm on great terms
with all my ex-lovers.
682
00:27:59,224 --> 00:28:01,021
Thanks.
Sure.
683
00:28:01,893 --> 00:28:05,420
Okay. All right,
well, you know,
whatever feels right.
684
00:28:05,497 --> 00:28:08,295
After the tour, Greg,
I was hoping you'd
show us your new house.
685
00:28:08,367 --> 00:28:09,664
And, Kevin,
when you're done
feeding the bums,
686
00:28:09,735 --> 00:28:10,997
why don't you meet us there?
687
00:28:11,069 --> 00:28:12,661
Okay. I'll be there.
688
00:28:12,738 --> 00:28:14,672
You know what, Jack?
I still have some items
on the punch list
689
00:28:14,740 --> 00:28:15,764
to go through
with the contractors,
690
00:28:15,841 --> 00:28:17,604
so I'm thinking
maybe we should
put it off for a few days.
691
00:28:17,709 --> 00:28:19,540
Ah, no,
let's do it tomorrow.
Well, I think...
692
00:28:19,611 --> 00:28:20,942
We'll meet you
there at noon, Kevin.
I don't know.
693
00:28:21,013 --> 00:28:22,571
At noon?
Yeah, all right.
Okay.
694
00:28:22,647 --> 00:28:24,239
And we're gonna
get you through this.
695
00:28:24,316 --> 00:28:26,511
Anything you need,
you come to me.
696
00:28:26,585 --> 00:28:27,745
Okay. Thanks, J.B.
697
00:28:27,819 --> 00:28:29,218
Yeah. Or me.
698
00:28:31,757 --> 00:28:32,815
Okay.
699
00:28:32,891 --> 00:28:34,722
Well, you can come
to either of us.
700
00:28:34,793 --> 00:28:35,987
Yeah, we're here for you.
701
00:28:36,061 --> 00:28:37,221
Thanks.
702
00:28:38,296 --> 00:28:39,320
Careful, yeah.
703
00:28:43,702 --> 00:28:45,067
PAM: I feel like crap.
GREG: Yeah.
704
00:28:45,370 --> 00:28:46,359
You're burning up.
705
00:28:46,438 --> 00:28:49,373
Yeah, I must have
gotten the flu
the kids had last week.
706
00:28:49,441 --> 00:28:50,499
Oh, my God,
the school tour is today.
707
00:28:50,575 --> 00:28:51,564
Yeah, I know.
708
00:28:51,643 --> 00:28:52,905
Honey, what am I gonna do?
709
00:28:52,978 --> 00:28:54,206
I'll do it. Okay?
I'll handle it.
710
00:28:54,279 --> 00:28:55,268
Yeah?
Yeah, and your mom
711
00:28:55,347 --> 00:28:56,439
can take the kids
to school.
712
00:28:56,515 --> 00:28:57,982
But what about my dad?
713
00:28:58,183 --> 00:28:59,673
I got it, all right?
714
00:29:03,422 --> 00:29:06,255
I really appreciate
your including me
on the school tour, Greg.
715
00:29:06,324 --> 00:29:09,316
Oh, Jack, you are
a trusted advisor.
716
00:29:09,694 --> 00:29:13,221
I mean, your words
hit home about
a top-notch education,
717
00:29:13,298 --> 00:29:14,595
getting your
financial house in order.
718
00:29:14,699 --> 00:29:15,996
That's it. That's it.
719
00:29:16,068 --> 00:29:17,296
It's all about
the kids, right?
720
00:29:17,369 --> 00:29:18,597
The next generation.
721
00:29:18,670 --> 00:29:19,864
I'm glad to
hear you say that.
722
00:29:20,172 --> 00:29:21,696
Makes me feel that
I've chosen wisely.
723
00:29:22,774 --> 00:29:24,708
Of course,
children change
everything in a marriage,
724
00:29:24,776 --> 00:29:26,334
and that was the issue
with Debbie and Bob.
725
00:29:26,411 --> 00:29:29,073
They stopped finding
time for each other
once LJ came into their lives,
726
00:29:29,147 --> 00:29:31,445
so Bob sought
sexual fulfillment
outside the marriage.
727
00:29:31,516 --> 00:29:32,505
Mmm.
728
00:29:32,684 --> 00:29:34,584
Dr. Bob.
Dr. Bob.
729
00:29:34,686 --> 00:29:36,119
He really disappointed me.
730
00:29:36,688 --> 00:29:40,351
I'll tell you something.
I'd like to really teach
that bastard a lesson.
731
00:29:41,159 --> 00:29:42,649
I happen to have
his new address.
732
00:29:42,794 --> 00:29:44,352
Perhaps you and I should
sneak in there one night
733
00:29:44,429 --> 00:29:46,727
and plant a tiny
explosive device
in the stove.
734
00:29:46,798 --> 00:29:48,663
Make it look like a gas leak.
735
00:29:51,636 --> 00:29:52,967
Yeah. Yeah.
736
00:29:53,171 --> 00:29:55,105
Or we could,
you know, maybe
737
00:29:55,173 --> 00:29:58,472
find some less criminal way
of teaching him a lesson.
738
00:29:58,543 --> 00:30:00,636
You know, still get him.
739
00:30:01,246 --> 00:30:02,440
I'm only joking, Greg.
740
00:30:02,514 --> 00:30:03,776
(CHUCKLING) Okay.
741
00:30:04,683 --> 00:30:05,672
But it would be fun.
742
00:30:05,750 --> 00:30:06,739
Yeah, oh,
it would be great.
743
00:30:07,285 --> 00:30:10,277
I'm hoping that you and Pam
are still finding time
for each other.
744
00:30:11,189 --> 00:30:12,247
Oh, yeah.
745
00:30:12,324 --> 00:30:14,155
Yeah, are you kidding?
Yeah, no, no,
we're great, we're...
746
00:30:14,259 --> 00:30:15,248
Good.
747
00:30:15,327 --> 00:30:16,589
I mean, you know,
it's not easy.
748
00:30:16,661 --> 00:30:17,821
You got to work
at it, but...
749
00:30:18,296 --> 00:30:20,161
Are you still
physically attracted
to my daughter, Greg?
750
00:30:20,532 --> 00:30:25,367
To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes.
Jack, there's never been
a problem with that.
751
00:30:25,837 --> 00:30:29,273
Even after her body's
endured the hellish ordeal
of birthing twins?
752
00:30:29,608 --> 00:30:34,841
Yes. Even after that.
It's still... It's all good.
It's all good under the hood.
753
00:30:37,048 --> 00:30:38,515
That's disgusting.
754
00:30:40,552 --> 00:30:41,849
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
755
00:30:44,623 --> 00:30:46,090
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
756
00:30:48,460 --> 00:30:50,189
Welcome, parents.
757
00:30:51,196 --> 00:30:54,529
I'm Prudence Simmons,
director of
the Early Human School.
758
00:30:55,767 --> 00:30:59,259
And at E.H.S., we know.
759
00:31:00,438 --> 00:31:04,534
We know that no two
early humans are alike.
760
00:31:05,177 --> 00:31:09,170
So why should their
educational experiences
be identical? Right?
761
00:31:09,915 --> 00:31:11,177
Makes sense.
762
00:31:11,583 --> 00:31:15,212
It's not about
the 99.8 % of graduates
763
00:31:15,287 --> 00:31:16,914
that go on to the best
secondary schools.
764
00:31:17,689 --> 00:31:18,986
Wow, impressive.
765
00:31:19,057 --> 00:31:20,046
Yeah.
766
00:31:22,561 --> 00:31:24,654
That guy's really been
hitting the Bowflex, huh?
767
00:31:24,729 --> 00:31:25,718
What?
768
00:31:25,897 --> 00:31:28,627
It's not
the overwhelming number
of Early Human alumni
769
00:31:28,967 --> 00:31:33,961
that become civic leaders,
CEOs of Fortune
500 companies. No.
770
00:31:34,539 --> 00:31:38,908
What's important to us
is that they become
themselves.
771
00:31:39,110 --> 00:31:42,443
PRUDENCE: Please welcome
the Early Human Tumblers!
772
00:31:47,752 --> 00:31:48,741
Whoo!
773
00:31:49,988 --> 00:31:51,285
Kids are really good.
774
00:31:51,356 --> 00:31:53,153
I like what I'm seeing
from this place.
775
00:31:53,225 --> 00:31:55,022
Yeah.
And I'm sure
it doesn't come cheap.
776
00:31:55,527 --> 00:31:56,619
Mmm-mmm.
777
00:31:57,062 --> 00:31:58,188
You think you can swing it?
778
00:31:58,263 --> 00:31:59,252
Mmm-hmm.
779
00:31:59,698 --> 00:32:02,030
Yeah. Yeah,
I got it covered.
780
00:32:02,534 --> 00:32:04,263
And, you know,
781
00:32:04,336 --> 00:32:06,236
if it's not covered
right now,
it will be covered.
782
00:32:06,538 --> 00:32:09,063
It's one of those things
that you cover it.
783
00:32:09,140 --> 00:32:10,334
Do you have the money
or not, Greg?
784
00:32:10,408 --> 00:32:11,739
New friends, hello!
785
00:32:11,810 --> 00:32:12,902
Hi.
786
00:32:12,978 --> 00:32:14,002
Hi, I'm Prudence. Greg?
787
00:32:14,079 --> 00:32:15,068
Greg. How are you?
788
00:32:15,146 --> 00:32:16,340
Jack?
Jack Byrnes.
789
00:32:16,414 --> 00:32:19,781
So, Jack and Greg,
tell me what path
you've chosen.
790
00:32:22,087 --> 00:32:23,714
How do you make a "living"?
791
00:32:23,888 --> 00:32:26,152
Oh, okay, well,
I'm a nurse.
792
00:32:26,524 --> 00:32:27,548
Oh.
793
00:32:28,059 --> 00:32:29,048
He's being modest.
794
00:32:29,127 --> 00:32:31,823
He's actually
the department manager
of the medical-surgical unit
795
00:32:31,896 --> 00:32:35,627
at Chicago Memorial
and I am a retired florist.
796
00:32:35,967 --> 00:32:38,299
What a combination,
a nurse and a florist?
797
00:32:38,703 --> 00:32:40,068
How great.
798
00:32:40,138 --> 00:32:42,106
May I ask how long
you've been
in each other's lives?
799
00:32:42,607 --> 00:32:44,472
Oh, I'd say... Well,
it's about eight years,
hasn't it been?
800
00:32:44,542 --> 00:32:45,770
Yeah, eight years.
801
00:32:46,011 --> 00:32:47,239
I'd say eight years.
Really?
802
00:32:47,312 --> 00:32:48,438
Yeah, yeah.
Eight great years. Yeah.
803
00:32:48,513 --> 00:32:49,775
Eight great years.
804
00:32:49,848 --> 00:32:51,509
Well, it started out
a little rocky.
805
00:32:51,683 --> 00:32:53,048
We've had our moments.
806
00:32:53,118 --> 00:32:54,676
Yes, but then
we figured it out.
807
00:32:55,287 --> 00:32:56,914
You seem like
a wonderful couple.
808
00:32:58,623 --> 00:33:00,352
No, no, no.
We're not homosexuals.
Yeah, no.
809
00:33:00,425 --> 00:33:02,188
No, no. No, no, no, no,
this is my son-in-law.
810
00:33:03,295 --> 00:33:04,489
Yeah, yeah,
no, no, no, no.
811
00:33:05,030 --> 00:33:09,057
However, if you're
looking to fill a quota,
we can be flexible.
812
00:33:09,934 --> 00:33:12,562
Okay, that's an
interesting joke,
813
00:33:12,637 --> 00:33:15,572
but I appreciate
levity in a moment
of misunderstanding,
814
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,039
so thank you, Greg.
815
00:33:17,542 --> 00:33:18,736
I will say, Jack,
I hope I didn't offend you.
816
00:33:18,810 --> 00:33:20,004
Oh. No, no.
817
00:33:20,078 --> 00:33:21,067
Really?
818
00:33:21,146 --> 00:33:24,240
No. I mean,
I'm not gay myself,
but if I were gay,
819
00:33:24,316 --> 00:33:28,150
I would certainly be proud
to choose a life partner
like Gay Focker.
820
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,249
And that's
his actual name.
821
00:33:30,922 --> 00:33:31,911
Oh.
822
00:33:32,590 --> 00:33:36,117
It is. Well,
it's my, Gaylord was my name
when I was a kid and, yeah.
823
00:33:36,394 --> 00:33:38,919
Well, I'll complete
the conversation with that.
824
00:33:38,997 --> 00:33:40,021
Jack.
825
00:33:40,165 --> 00:33:41,496
Prudence.
Pleasure.
826
00:33:42,100 --> 00:33:43,965
Gay. Great.
Greg.
827
00:33:44,536 --> 00:33:45,833
Change that nametag.
828
00:33:45,970 --> 00:33:47,665
You can call...
It's Greg. Greg is fine.
829
00:33:47,739 --> 00:33:49,400
Why don't we just
stick with the truth?
830
00:33:58,350 --> 00:34:01,376
An original
American Foursquare,
Greg, very nice.
831
00:34:01,453 --> 00:34:05,321
Yeah, yeah.
It's got rock-solid bones
and, you know, it's...
832
00:34:05,390 --> 00:34:06,789
(CAR HORN HONKING)
833
00:34:12,430 --> 00:34:14,421
Hey! There they are.
834
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,334
Kev-O, that's quite a rental.
KEVIN: Yeah.
835
00:34:17,402 --> 00:34:19,199
Gustavo, my assistant,
hooked it up.
836
00:34:19,270 --> 00:34:21,204
I guess it's
a Tesla Roadster
or something.
837
00:34:21,740 --> 00:34:25,005
Supposedly eco-friendly,
like that 2003 Prius, Greg.
838
00:34:25,076 --> 00:34:26,202
Yeah, you got it.
839
00:34:26,277 --> 00:34:27,835
Wow. It looks great.
840
00:34:28,179 --> 00:34:29,840
Traditional
American Foursquare.
841
00:34:29,914 --> 00:34:31,541
Also known as
a Prairie Box.
842
00:34:31,850 --> 00:34:33,317
KEVIN: Yeah.
GREG: It's got
really good bones.
843
00:34:33,418 --> 00:34:35,079
Good eye, Kev.
844
00:34:35,553 --> 00:34:36,611
(MEN LAUGHING)
845
00:34:36,688 --> 00:34:38,019
MAN: Look out
for your legs.
846
00:34:39,491 --> 00:34:40,515
RANDY: That's good.
847
00:34:40,592 --> 00:34:41,581
Randy? Randy,
what is this?
848
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,628
Gregory Focker!
849
00:34:45,029 --> 00:34:46,326
Great to see you.
How you doing, Dad?
850
00:34:46,398 --> 00:34:47,422
GREG: Hey.
851
00:34:47,499 --> 00:34:49,797
Randy, what is this?
We're having the party
here in two days.
852
00:34:50,068 --> 00:34:51,330
RANDY: Um...
853
00:34:51,403 --> 00:34:52,836
Refresh my memory, Gregory.
854
00:34:53,338 --> 00:34:55,863
Are you kidding me?
Randy, the twins'
birthday party, remember?
855
00:34:56,141 --> 00:34:57,165
Yes, of course!
856
00:34:57,842 --> 00:34:58,831
The issue
we're dealing with is
857
00:34:58,910 --> 00:35:03,279
that we had to excavate
60 feet of root-infested
pipe back here!
858
00:35:03,348 --> 00:35:05,145
So, of course,
we ran into some
unexpected costs
859
00:35:05,216 --> 00:35:06,843
along with an obvious delay.
860
00:35:06,918 --> 00:35:09,409
Randy, is this yard
gonna be done or is it
not gonna be done?
861
00:35:09,487 --> 00:35:10,920
Jack, I got this.
All right?
862
00:35:11,089 --> 00:35:14,388
KEVIN: All Mr. Byrnes
is suggesting is that
maybe inadvertently
863
00:35:14,659 --> 00:35:17,526
you're taking advantage
of a gentle, trusting soul
864
00:35:17,595 --> 00:35:20,530
who clearly is an amateur
when it comes to
home construction.
865
00:35:20,598 --> 00:35:22,498
No, Kevin.
Thank you, Swami Salami.
866
00:35:22,567 --> 00:35:23,898
That's not true at all.
867
00:35:23,968 --> 00:35:25,299
It is true, Greg.
They're ripping you off.
868
00:35:25,370 --> 00:35:27,167
No, Jack...
Your plumbing excavators
869
00:35:27,305 --> 00:35:29,273
have been on coffee break
for the past eight minutes,
870
00:35:29,340 --> 00:35:32,332
this senior citizen over here
is unfit for active duty
871
00:35:32,410 --> 00:35:34,810
and your backhoe driver's
halfway through
a Sudoku puzzle.
872
00:35:34,946 --> 00:35:35,935
All right.
Gregory,
873
00:35:36,014 --> 00:35:38,847
who is this joker
questioning my honor?
874
00:35:38,917 --> 00:35:40,680
Nobody's questioning
your honor, Randy.
875
00:35:40,752 --> 00:35:42,549
I'm 34 years in the trade!
876
00:35:42,620 --> 00:35:43,814
Thirty-four years, huh?
877
00:35:43,888 --> 00:35:47,756
I got to pump, dump
and hump to get that
backyard whole again!
878
00:35:47,826 --> 00:35:50,818
Well, I got news for you.
You can pump, dump
and hump all you want!
879
00:35:50,895 --> 00:35:52,385
You're sandbagging
this damn job
and you know it.
880
00:35:52,464 --> 00:35:53,488
All right. You know what?
Jack, Jack, Jack!
881
00:35:53,565 --> 00:35:55,499
Calm down! (YELLS)
You're leaving
a big hole, you...
882
00:35:55,567 --> 00:35:58,593
Hey, General!
The Japanese surrendered!
883
00:35:58,670 --> 00:36:00,035
The Japanese surrendered!
That's it!
884
00:36:00,171 --> 00:36:01,502
What are you talking about?
885
00:36:02,273 --> 00:36:03,331
World War Il.
886
00:36:03,775 --> 00:36:06,039
I'll tell you what, Gregor.
I have a timeshare in town.
887
00:36:06,110 --> 00:36:07,338
Why don't we have
the party there?
888
00:36:07,412 --> 00:36:09,107
Beautiful meadow.
It'll be perfect.
889
00:36:09,180 --> 00:36:10,977
No, no, Kevin,
I promised the kids
890
00:36:11,049 --> 00:36:12,778
they're gonna have
the party in the yard.
891
00:36:12,851 --> 00:36:16,287
So, guess what?
We're gonna have the party
in the yard. Okay?
892
00:36:16,354 --> 00:36:18,413
Soon as our
dump truck driver's
back from lunch,
893
00:36:18,490 --> 00:36:20,185
we'll get that out,
bring the backhoe in,
894
00:36:20,258 --> 00:36:21,885
lay down your
base layer of sand.
895
00:36:22,327 --> 00:36:24,625
Wait a minute.
You're telling us that
you can't move that rig?
896
00:36:24,863 --> 00:36:26,387
That's a union job, pops.
897
00:36:26,464 --> 00:36:28,261
Screw it. I'm gonna
move that truck myself.
898
00:36:28,333 --> 00:36:29,322
RANDY: No, come on.
No, you know what, Jack?
899
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:30,731
I'll do it, okay?
You just help me
900
00:36:30,802 --> 00:36:32,360
back it out
into the street.
I got it.
901
00:36:33,671 --> 00:36:34,660
Here we go.
902
00:36:34,906 --> 00:36:36,965
All right,
start backing her up.
You're all clear.
903
00:36:42,981 --> 00:36:44,141
Coming at you, Jack!
904
00:36:44,349 --> 00:36:46,078
You're doing great,
you're doing great.
905
00:36:46,384 --> 00:36:49,547
Hey, look,
I'm not in the union, Randy!
I'm backing up the truck!
906
00:36:49,821 --> 00:36:53,313
Come on. Back, back, back.
Doing great. Doing great!
Doing great!
907
00:36:53,725 --> 00:36:55,158
Whoa! Whoa!
908
00:36:56,194 --> 00:36:57,388
Brake it!
909
00:36:57,862 --> 00:36:58,886
Oh!
910
00:36:58,963 --> 00:37:00,487
You got it!
911
00:37:01,366 --> 00:37:02,731
We're good.
RANDY: Emergency brake!
912
00:37:03,034 --> 00:37:04,023
Got it!
913
00:37:05,236 --> 00:37:06,260
(SCREAMING)
914
00:37:09,107 --> 00:37:12,042
Jack!
Holy shit!
915
00:37:12,110 --> 00:37:13,407
Hang on, I'm with you!
916
00:37:13,578 --> 00:37:15,409
Jack, I'm right here.
Jack, we're gonna get you!
917
00:37:16,214 --> 00:37:17,545
It's gonna be
all right, Jack!
918
00:37:17,882 --> 00:37:20,009
Jack, we're coming!
Hang on, Jack!
919
00:37:20,218 --> 00:37:21,207
I got him!
920
00:37:21,286 --> 00:37:22,275
I got you.
921
00:37:22,620 --> 00:37:25,248
It's Kevin.
I'm right here.
(JACK COUGHS)
922
00:37:26,491 --> 00:37:28,220
Thank you, Kevin.
Save your strength.
923
00:37:28,293 --> 00:37:31,387
Upsy-daisy.
Greg's right here.
He's okay.
924
00:37:32,263 --> 00:37:33,389
Yeah, I see him.
925
00:37:34,766 --> 00:37:35,926
Hey, Jack.
926
00:37:36,968 --> 00:37:38,196
Oh, here, it's starting.
927
00:37:38,269 --> 00:37:43,104
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's The Roz Focker Show!
928
00:37:43,174 --> 00:37:44,402
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
929
00:37:44,475 --> 00:37:49,174
And that means it's time
to sexpress yourself!
930
00:37:50,348 --> 00:37:51,645
Hello, my audience!
931
00:37:51,749 --> 00:37:53,478
Hello, my friends. Welcome.
932
00:37:54,152 --> 00:37:56,279
Today, what do you think
we're going to talk about?
933
00:37:56,487 --> 00:37:58,478
MAN: Sex!
Sex. Sex.
934
00:37:58,556 --> 00:37:59,921
Well, what else is she
gonna talk about?
935
00:38:00,491 --> 00:38:02,186
Sex after children.
936
00:38:02,727 --> 00:38:04,319
How do you find
time to make love
937
00:38:04,395 --> 00:38:05,919
with young children
in the house?
938
00:38:06,631 --> 00:38:08,656
What do you do
if it's not working?
939
00:38:08,933 --> 00:38:09,922
Do you have an affair?
940
00:38:10,201 --> 00:38:11,463
ALL: No!
941
00:38:11,836 --> 00:38:15,169
No, you say?
But Roz Focker says yes!
942
00:38:15,607 --> 00:38:17,768
Yes, you do have an affair!
943
00:38:18,009 --> 00:38:21,410
You have an affair
with your wife!
944
00:38:21,980 --> 00:38:23,174
Oh, Roz!
945
00:38:23,247 --> 00:38:24,646
ROZ: Think about it, right?
946
00:38:24,716 --> 00:38:28,152
You dress up a little nicer.
You meet at a hotel.
947
00:38:28,419 --> 00:38:29,681
You role play.
948
00:38:30,088 --> 00:38:35,890
There is absolutely no shame
in playing out a fantasy,
but with each other!
949
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:37,359
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
950
00:38:37,428 --> 00:38:38,554
All right?
951
00:38:39,530 --> 00:38:42,294
Now, he's gonna kill me,
(GIGGLES)
952
00:38:43,167 --> 00:38:48,195
but my own son,
who is the father
of two adorable twins,
953
00:38:49,340 --> 00:38:50,671
he has issues
in this department.
954
00:38:51,809 --> 00:38:54,573
He's busy at work.
She's busy at home.
955
00:38:54,679 --> 00:38:57,477
Their intimacy
numbers are down.
They're not connecting.
956
00:38:58,816 --> 00:39:00,147
And what do you do?
957
00:39:00,451 --> 00:39:02,942
It's called Sustengo.
Sustengo?
958
00:39:03,021 --> 00:39:05,012
I got to say, that sounds
pretty cheesy, Greg.
959
00:39:05,089 --> 00:39:08,320
Yeah, well,
I'm looking at these
Randy Weir bills, okay.
960
00:39:08,393 --> 00:39:09,553
And we could definitely
use the money.
961
00:39:09,727 --> 00:39:11,490
And do me a favor.
Don't tell your dad
about this, okay?
962
00:39:11,562 --> 00:39:12,859
My dad? Why?
963
00:39:12,930 --> 00:39:14,625
Just 'cause
he's been all into
964
00:39:14,799 --> 00:39:17,563
me having
my financial house
in order or whatever,
965
00:39:17,635 --> 00:39:19,296
and I just don't
want to worry him.
All right, fine.
966
00:39:19,637 --> 00:39:21,366
I won't say anything
because he's already
pretty upset
967
00:39:21,439 --> 00:39:23,464
about you trying to bury
him alive. (LAUGHS)
968
00:39:23,708 --> 00:39:24,834
Honey, it was an accident.
969
00:39:25,076 --> 00:39:26,100
Superstar!
970
00:39:26,411 --> 00:39:27,605
Hey. Hey, can you
hang on a second?
971
00:39:27,679 --> 00:39:28,668
Okay.
972
00:39:28,946 --> 00:39:30,846
I am so stoked
you changed your mind.
973
00:39:31,082 --> 00:39:34,051
You are going to rock
those urologists tonight.
974
00:39:34,118 --> 00:39:35,676
Awesome.
That's always been
a goal of mine.
975
00:39:35,987 --> 00:39:38,046
So, I'll see you
at 8:00 at the Hilton?
976
00:39:38,122 --> 00:39:39,111
Yes.
977
00:39:39,190 --> 00:39:41,158
And wear a suit.
Wear a suit, got it.
978
00:39:41,225 --> 00:39:42,749
Knuckles?
Knuckles.
979
00:39:42,927 --> 00:39:43,916
Okay, bye.
980
00:39:44,762 --> 00:39:45,854
Hey.
Hello.
981
00:39:45,930 --> 00:39:47,420
Knuckles? Who was that?
982
00:39:47,498 --> 00:39:49,159
That certainly
didn't sound like Kristen.
983
00:39:49,333 --> 00:39:51,426
No, no.
That was the drug rep.
984
00:39:51,736 --> 00:39:53,636
Andi?
Yeah, Andi.
985
00:39:54,138 --> 00:39:55,127
What does she look like?
986
00:39:55,540 --> 00:39:57,667
She's like a...
No, she's, like,
an ex-nurse.
987
00:39:57,742 --> 00:39:58,936
You wouldn't pick her
out of a lineup.
988
00:39:59,143 --> 00:40:00,371
Yeah, I know that
you're doing this for us,
989
00:40:00,445 --> 00:40:03,175
but the idea of you
and some woman
named Andi
990
00:40:03,247 --> 00:40:06,341
selling boner medicine
at a hotel, it really
kind of icks me out.
991
00:40:06,818 --> 00:40:08,683
Honey, there's nothing
to be icked out about.
992
00:40:08,753 --> 00:40:10,380
Okay, fine.
993
00:40:10,621 --> 00:40:12,589
I love you.
I love you, too, honey. Bye.
994
00:40:12,657 --> 00:40:13,851
Okay, bye.
995
00:40:15,493 --> 00:40:17,393
(MIMICKING GUNSHOTS)
996
00:40:20,331 --> 00:40:21,958
So, how come
you're not talking
to Daddy?
997
00:40:22,166 --> 00:40:23,599
'Cause he said
you were cuckoo.
998
00:40:24,402 --> 00:40:25,460
He said I was cuckoo?
999
00:40:25,803 --> 00:40:26,792
Mmm-hmm.
1000
00:40:27,205 --> 00:40:28,866
Well, we'll have
to discuss that.
1001
00:40:29,340 --> 00:40:30,329
Yeah.
1002
00:40:30,875 --> 00:40:32,035
But what about
Mommy and Daddy?
1003
00:40:32,110 --> 00:40:33,338
Is everything okay
with them?
1004
00:40:34,479 --> 00:40:36,242
I guess
they fight sometimes.
1005
00:40:36,314 --> 00:40:38,475
Mmm-hmm. And what do
they fight about?
1006
00:40:38,850 --> 00:40:39,874
Um...
1007
00:40:39,951 --> 00:40:44,047
Like Mommy got mad at Daddy
because he was going
to the hotel with Andi.
1008
00:40:44,122 --> 00:40:45,111
Andi?
1009
00:40:45,389 --> 00:40:46,447
(CHUCKLES)
1010
00:40:47,658 --> 00:40:48,682
Who's Andi?
1011
00:40:48,793 --> 00:40:51,728
I can't say because
I'm not supposed
to be spying.
1012
00:40:51,963 --> 00:40:54,955
Like I always tell you,
there's nothing
wrong with spying
1013
00:40:55,032 --> 00:40:57,466
as long as you
suspect foul play.
1014
00:40:58,536 --> 00:40:59,935
So, who's Andi?
1015
00:41:00,271 --> 00:41:02,705
Andi gives Daddy
his boners.
1016
00:41:04,375 --> 00:41:05,603
His what?
1017
00:41:06,043 --> 00:41:08,978
Andi gives Daddy his boners.
1018
00:41:09,580 --> 00:41:10,569
Uh-huh.
1019
00:41:12,717 --> 00:41:13,809
Hey, guys!
1020
00:41:13,918 --> 00:41:15,249
DINA: Hey, Greg.
How was your day?
1021
00:41:15,319 --> 00:41:16,911
HENRY: Yeah.
Great.
1022
00:41:18,389 --> 00:41:19,378
Hey.
1023
00:41:19,724 --> 00:41:20,713
How about you, Sam?
1024
00:41:20,825 --> 00:41:21,917
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
1025
00:41:21,993 --> 00:41:23,756
What? Come on,
say something to me.
1026
00:41:23,828 --> 00:41:25,022
No! I won't!
1027
00:41:25,096 --> 00:41:27,064
Ah! You just did.
1028
00:41:28,933 --> 00:41:30,264
Hey, Greg?
Yeah.
1029
00:41:30,501 --> 00:41:31,866
I'm not so sure
1030
00:41:31,936 --> 00:41:34,268
using chicanery
and subterfuge
on your daughter
1031
00:41:34,338 --> 00:41:36,431
is the best way
to get her to
communicate with you.
1032
00:41:36,541 --> 00:41:38,736
No, no, no. That's not
chicanery and subterfuge.
1033
00:41:38,943 --> 00:41:40,433
For whatever it's worth.
1034
00:41:41,479 --> 00:41:42,605
Worth a lot. Thank you.
1035
00:41:42,780 --> 00:41:44,645
And I will
see you later, okay?
1036
00:41:44,715 --> 00:41:47,809
I got roped into this hospital
administration dinner
thing tonight, so...
1037
00:41:48,152 --> 00:41:49,414
Work function?
Yeah.
1038
00:41:49,554 --> 00:41:52,648
It's the price of being
in charge of the unit, so...
1039
00:41:53,257 --> 00:41:54,724
I see.
That last minute, huh?
1040
00:41:54,792 --> 00:41:55,816
Yeah.
1041
00:41:55,893 --> 00:41:58,953
Department head called
so I gotta do
a little face time and...
1042
00:41:59,330 --> 00:42:00,592
Have fun.
Okay.
1043
00:42:01,732 --> 00:42:02,892
(VIBRATING)
1044
00:42:08,940 --> 00:42:09,929
Hmm.
1045
00:42:31,963 --> 00:42:32,952
(GRUNTS)
1046
00:42:34,398 --> 00:42:35,387
Jack?
1047
00:42:35,867 --> 00:42:36,856
Jack!
1048
00:42:37,635 --> 00:42:38,624
Is that you?
1049
00:42:39,036 --> 00:42:40,469
Greg.
What are you doing out here?
1050
00:42:40,705 --> 00:42:42,969
Just picking up
some milk
for the morning.
1051
00:42:43,307 --> 00:42:44,797
You looking
for a market?
Yeah.
1052
00:42:45,109 --> 00:42:46,667
Okay, 'cause there's one
right across from the house.
1053
00:42:46,844 --> 00:42:48,334
Oh, is there?
I didn't know that.
1054
00:42:48,412 --> 00:42:50,073
Just take a left
on Lincoln. Right there.
1055
00:42:50,248 --> 00:42:51,374
Thanks, Greg.
Okay.
1056
00:42:51,449 --> 00:42:52,609
See you later.
Okay.
1057
00:43:41,632 --> 00:43:42,621
Excuse me.
1058
00:43:46,304 --> 00:43:47,293
Hey!
1059
00:43:48,539 --> 00:43:49,699
(LAUGHS)
1060
00:43:50,608 --> 00:43:51,597
Greg.
1061
00:43:51,842 --> 00:43:54,174
Hey, man.
You following me?
1062
00:43:54,912 --> 00:43:56,641
Following you?
Why would I be
following you?
1063
00:43:56,714 --> 00:43:58,341
No, I'm just
looking for milk.
1064
00:43:59,684 --> 00:44:03,279
Okay. 'Cause, remember,
I mentioned
out on the street there,
1065
00:44:03,354 --> 00:44:04,878
there's a store
right in the neighborhood.
1066
00:44:05,122 --> 00:44:06,919
True, but Dina likes
the organic stuff
1067
00:44:06,991 --> 00:44:09,459
and I heard there was
a natural food market
downtown.
1068
00:44:09,860 --> 00:44:13,318
Amazing, you going
all this way just for
a carton of milk.
1069
00:44:16,867 --> 00:44:18,357
You know what?
You should get off here.
1070
00:44:18,436 --> 00:44:20,768
There's a really great
natural foods market
1071
00:44:20,838 --> 00:44:22,669
about two blocks
south of the station.
1072
00:44:23,274 --> 00:44:24,263
Oh.
1073
00:44:32,149 --> 00:44:33,173
Have a good night, Jack.
1074
00:44:33,451 --> 00:44:34,611
You, too, Greg.
1075
00:44:51,736 --> 00:44:52,725
GREG: Hey.
1076
00:44:53,070 --> 00:44:54,697
Oh! Hey.
1077
00:44:55,306 --> 00:44:56,398
Superstar!
1078
00:44:59,543 --> 00:45:02,103
Everything cool?
You seem a little edgy.
1079
00:45:02,313 --> 00:45:05,214
No, I'm good.
It's just my in-laws
are in town, so...
1080
00:45:05,649 --> 00:45:06,946
Anyway, I went over
the drug info
1081
00:45:07,018 --> 00:45:08,576
and I think I got
the science down
pretty well.
1082
00:45:08,652 --> 00:45:11,280
Oh, no, Greg.
These doctors don't care
about that stuff.
1083
00:45:11,555 --> 00:45:15,389
If you want to sell
a drug like Sustengo,
you have to make it personal.
1084
00:45:16,293 --> 00:45:17,783
Do you know any
sexually frustrated
1085
00:45:17,862 --> 00:45:19,420
old dudes with
a heart condition?
1086
00:45:39,750 --> 00:45:41,411
I didn't hear you come in.
1087
00:45:43,020 --> 00:45:44,885
What kept you so long?
1088
00:45:46,123 --> 00:45:48,853
I just got
a little bit lost.
Everyone asleep?
1089
00:45:48,926 --> 00:45:49,915
Yeah.
1090
00:45:50,194 --> 00:45:52,219
We've got
the house to ourselves.
1091
00:45:53,164 --> 00:45:58,966
I'm so happy that you
got away from your wife.
1092
00:46:00,137 --> 00:46:01,604
Excuse me?
1093
00:46:01,672 --> 00:46:03,435
She's been
very suspicious lately.
1094
00:46:03,941 --> 00:46:06,739
Quick, quick, quick.
We only have an hour.
1095
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,843
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
1096
00:46:10,915 --> 00:46:13,247
Jack, come on.
You've gotta play along.
1097
00:46:13,317 --> 00:46:16,252
Roz Focker said
we have to have an affair
with each other.
1098
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:17,981
I'm role playing.
1099
00:46:18,055 --> 00:46:19,249
Right, right, right.
I understand.
1100
00:46:19,323 --> 00:46:23,089
I just have
a bit of a headache,
sweetheart, tonight.
1101
00:46:23,227 --> 00:46:26,663
I know. You've had
that worried look
on your face all day.
1102
00:46:26,864 --> 00:46:30,527
I promise you,
the Focker family
is going to be fine.
1103
00:46:30,968 --> 00:46:32,299
Now, come on.
1104
00:46:32,570 --> 00:46:34,561
Before my husband
comes home.
1105
00:46:35,473 --> 00:46:38,738
Then, we'd better hurry,
my illicit lover.
Let me just brush my teeth.
1106
00:46:38,809 --> 00:46:40,106
Ooh.
1107
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:51,782
Your father-in-law
did not really put you
in a lie detector machine.
1108
00:46:52,289 --> 00:46:53,449
No, that's true.
1109
00:46:53,524 --> 00:46:54,548
That's incredible!
1110
00:46:55,326 --> 00:46:58,193
Jesus Christ, I thought
my wife's father was bad.
1111
00:46:58,262 --> 00:46:59,320
That was
a great speech, nurse.
1112
00:46:59,864 --> 00:47:00,922
Thank you.
1113
00:47:00,998 --> 00:47:02,022
And hey,
"I'm staring at you."
1114
00:47:02,366 --> 00:47:03,560
(LAUGHING)
1115
00:47:04,135 --> 00:47:06,968
It was "I'm watching you,"
but that's what he did, yes.
Thank you.
1116
00:47:07,404 --> 00:47:09,235
You killed it tonight.
1117
00:47:09,673 --> 00:47:12,233
Those stories
about your family
were hilarious.
1118
00:47:12,309 --> 00:47:14,174
Thank you.
So, I should be
getting going.
1119
00:47:14,345 --> 00:47:16,939
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You're my fiancé.
1120
00:47:17,047 --> 00:47:18,537
Hey, gorgeous.
1121
00:47:18,616 --> 00:47:21,141
Hello, Dr. Ballard.
So nice to see you.
1122
00:47:21,218 --> 00:47:24,745
Hey, can I get you 200 cc's
of anything you want, stat?
1123
00:47:25,556 --> 00:47:28,889
Only if you can buy a drink
for my fiancé as well.
1124
00:47:29,827 --> 00:47:31,454
Didn't know
you were engaged.
1125
00:47:31,629 --> 00:47:33,688
Can you
take a picture for us
for my scrapbook?
1126
00:47:33,764 --> 00:47:35,527
You know what?
You don't...
He doesn't have to do that.
1127
00:47:35,599 --> 00:47:36,623
ANDI: Yeah, it's for
our scrapbook.
1128
00:47:36,700 --> 00:47:38,691
No, you know what, bro?
I'm cool like that.
I'll do that.
1129
00:47:38,769 --> 00:47:40,293
You are such a doll.
1130
00:47:40,571 --> 00:47:41,663
Here we go.
1131
00:47:42,373 --> 00:47:43,670
One, two, three.
Whoa!
1132
00:47:44,875 --> 00:47:45,864
Best picture ever.
1133
00:47:46,777 --> 00:47:49,007
You look great
and you have, like,
a red-eye problem.
1134
00:47:49,246 --> 00:47:50,406
I'll see you later, babe.
1135
00:47:50,481 --> 00:47:52,711
I cannot believe
I ever slept with that guy.
1136
00:47:52,917 --> 00:47:53,941
Yeah, right.
1137
00:47:54,018 --> 00:47:55,246
No, seriously, I did.
1138
00:47:55,519 --> 00:47:57,749
At a convention
in Milwaukee last summer.
1139
00:47:57,821 --> 00:48:01,154
We were, like,
drinking tequila,
doing rum chasers.
1140
00:48:01,892 --> 00:48:03,450
Always a bad idea, right?
1141
00:48:03,527 --> 00:48:04,551
Yeah.
1142
00:48:04,795 --> 00:48:06,729
Can you get me a margarita
on the rocks, no salt?
1143
00:48:08,265 --> 00:48:09,732
You know what...
I'm gonna run
to the restroom.
1144
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:10,824
Gosh. You know what...
1145
00:48:10,901 --> 00:48:11,890
All right, cool.
You're the best.
1146
00:48:12,503 --> 00:48:14,130
All right? All right.
All right, okay.
1147
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:19,107
Hi. Can I get a club soda
and a margarita
on the rocks with no salt?
1148
00:48:19,610 --> 00:48:20,634
Thanks.
1149
00:48:21,011 --> 00:48:22,342
Night out
on the town, Focker?
1150
00:48:23,747 --> 00:48:25,271
Dr. Bob.
Hey, man!
1151
00:48:25,349 --> 00:48:26,338
What are you doing here?
1152
00:48:26,417 --> 00:48:28,476
I'm here for the convention.
What about you?
1153
00:48:29,420 --> 00:48:31,911
Doing some work for Pfosten
as a medical expert.
1154
00:48:33,090 --> 00:48:34,079
But you're a nurse.
1155
00:48:34,291 --> 00:48:37,624
You know what?
I don't really have
anything to say to you.
1156
00:48:38,095 --> 00:48:41,929
Okay, I get it, Greg.
I screwed up.
1157
00:48:42,533 --> 00:48:44,933
But the pressure
of being in that family
finally got to me.
1158
00:48:45,069 --> 00:48:47,060
What are you talking about?
You were his golden boy.
1159
00:48:47,238 --> 00:48:48,796
More like his golden bitch.
1160
00:48:49,039 --> 00:48:51,837
He wanted Deb and me
to get married
in Oyster Bay. Done.
1161
00:48:52,142 --> 00:48:54,201
Can we name
our baby after him?
"You got it, Jack."
1162
00:48:54,578 --> 00:48:56,910
And he gives me this
whole spiel, right,
1163
00:48:56,981 --> 00:48:59,245
about how I'm next in line
to his throne.
1164
00:49:00,117 --> 00:49:02,779
He came up with
this name for me,
the Bobfather.
1165
00:49:05,823 --> 00:49:08,189
Really? He said that to you?
1166
00:49:10,527 --> 00:49:12,085
He pulled the same shit
on you, didn't he?
1167
00:49:12,496 --> 00:49:16,330
In that family,
we're all just hamsters
on Jack Byrnes' little wheel.
1168
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,301
His Circus of Trust,
or whatever he calls it.
1169
00:49:20,004 --> 00:49:21,164
Circle of Trust.
1170
00:49:21,238 --> 00:49:23,502
I had no idea
how deep I was in
until I stepped away.
1171
00:49:23,574 --> 00:49:24,563
And I'll
tell you something,
1172
00:49:24,642 --> 00:49:27,577
once I got off the treadmill,
I've never been happier.
1173
00:49:28,646 --> 00:49:30,273
Yeah, well, I think
I got it under control.
1174
00:49:44,194 --> 00:49:45,183
Hello, Greg.
1175
00:49:46,964 --> 00:49:47,953
Hey.
1176
00:49:48,666 --> 00:49:49,997
Hey, Jack.
1177
00:49:50,701 --> 00:49:52,692
You mind explaining this?
1178
00:49:54,972 --> 00:49:55,961
What is that? Oh.
1179
00:49:56,907 --> 00:49:58,568
Sustengo. Yeah, that's...
You know.
1180
00:49:59,176 --> 00:50:01,474
These drug companies,
they give me
all these free samples.
1181
00:50:02,146 --> 00:50:03,135
Is that it?
1182
00:50:04,415 --> 00:50:05,746
Or do you need
to use this
1183
00:50:05,816 --> 00:50:07,943
because you're no longer
sexually attracted to Pam?
1184
00:50:08,852 --> 00:50:12,447
You know what, Jack?
That's ridiculous.
1185
00:50:12,523 --> 00:50:13,683
Really. You know what?
1186
00:50:13,757 --> 00:50:15,987
I'm not even gonna
go there with you.
This is...
1187
00:50:16,660 --> 00:50:19,322
Have a good night,
all right?
I'm gonna go sleep.
1188
00:50:19,430 --> 00:50:21,421
Don't walk away
from me, Focker.
1189
00:50:25,869 --> 00:50:27,359
Jack, is everything okay
down there?
1190
00:50:27,938 --> 00:50:29,030
Everything's fine.
1191
00:50:29,106 --> 00:50:32,041
Okay. All right.
'Cause you seem
to have a little, I mean...
1192
00:50:32,109 --> 00:50:34,475
I know what I have, Greg,
and I'm not concerned
about that right now.
1193
00:50:34,545 --> 00:50:36,536
Right now, what I want
from you is the truth.
1194
00:50:38,248 --> 00:50:42,275
Jack, did you take
one of those pills?
1195
00:50:42,619 --> 00:50:44,314
Well, I was
highly preoccupied
1196
00:50:44,388 --> 00:50:45,446
and Dina wanted
to make love,
1197
00:50:45,522 --> 00:50:47,956
and the label clearly
states that it's safe
for heart patients.
1198
00:50:48,025 --> 00:50:49,515
Yes, but you need
a prescription
1199
00:50:49,593 --> 00:50:51,618
after you've had
a thorough examination.
1200
00:50:51,695 --> 00:50:54,186
How long have you had that...
The situation for?
1201
00:50:55,032 --> 00:50:56,124
Stop avoiding the question.
1202
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:57,292
I'm not avoiding
the question.
1203
00:50:57,368 --> 00:50:58,926
If you've had that
for more than four hours,
1204
00:50:59,002 --> 00:51:02,062
you could bust a capillary
and have serious
permanent damage.
1205
00:51:02,139 --> 00:51:03,367
How long
have you had it?
1206
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:04,907
Been a little longer
than four hours.
1207
00:51:04,975 --> 00:51:06,101
How long?
1208
00:51:06,176 --> 00:51:07,507
Maybe about five and a half.
1209
00:51:08,212 --> 00:51:09,873
Jack, you got to get
to an ER right now
1210
00:51:09,947 --> 00:51:11,710
and get a shot of adrenaline
to counteract that drug.
1211
00:51:11,782 --> 00:51:13,716
You're a nurse.
Don't you have that kind of
stuff in the house?
1212
00:51:13,784 --> 00:51:14,944
Yeah, I have an Epi kit,
1213
00:51:15,018 --> 00:51:16,679
but I'm not gonna give you
a shot there, okay?
1214
00:51:16,754 --> 00:51:19,222
Focker, there is no way
I'm going to an ER room
with this thing.
1215
00:51:19,289 --> 00:51:21,314
Now you need to stick me
and you need to stick me now!
1216
00:51:21,392 --> 00:51:22,484
I'm having a dick attack!
Stick me!
1217
00:51:22,559 --> 00:51:25,756
(WHISPERING)
Shh. Just relax. Okay.
1218
00:51:25,829 --> 00:51:26,853
I'll get the needle.
1219
00:51:31,969 --> 00:51:36,099
All right. I need you
to drop your pants.
1220
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,770
What kind of sick drug
are you dealing
to your patients?
1221
00:51:39,843 --> 00:51:41,811
Jack, I told you,
I took home some samples.
1222
00:51:42,246 --> 00:51:43,577
All right?
Maybe read the label
1223
00:51:43,647 --> 00:51:45,410
before you just pick up
a drug and eat it.
1224
00:51:45,482 --> 00:51:46,506
Let's just do it.
1225
00:51:48,018 --> 00:51:49,713
I'm gonna
administer the shot
on the count of three.
1226
00:51:50,854 --> 00:51:52,446
Just... All right?
1227
00:51:55,159 --> 00:51:56,626
Okay. Just...
1228
00:51:56,693 --> 00:51:57,785
It's...
1229
00:51:57,861 --> 00:51:58,919
Your hands are cold.
1230
00:51:58,996 --> 00:52:00,725
I'm sorry.
It's a bit...
1231
00:52:00,798 --> 00:52:01,992
Okay.
1232
00:52:03,700 --> 00:52:04,894
One,
1233
00:52:06,370 --> 00:52:07,496
two,
1234
00:52:08,138 --> 00:52:09,230
three.
1235
00:52:09,306 --> 00:52:11,740
Focker!
1236
00:52:11,809 --> 00:52:12,798
(SCREAMING)
1237
00:52:14,211 --> 00:52:15,473
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
1238
00:52:19,817 --> 00:52:21,512
Wait, what's going on?
What happened?
1239
00:52:21,585 --> 00:52:23,780
Everything's fine.
Henry had
a little nightmare,
1240
00:52:23,854 --> 00:52:25,412
but Greg's got him
settled down, okay.
1241
00:52:25,489 --> 00:52:27,389
No, no, Jack,
I thought I heard you
screaming, too.
1242
00:52:27,458 --> 00:52:29,323
No, you didn't.
It was all Henry.
1243
00:52:29,393 --> 00:52:30,655
Well, let me go
check on him...
Oh, no, no, no.
1244
00:52:30,727 --> 00:52:32,354
...and make sure he's okay.
You guys go to sleep.
1245
00:52:32,429 --> 00:52:34,124
Everything's under control.
1246
00:52:38,735 --> 00:52:40,828
Could you and Dad
keep it down, please?
1247
00:52:41,905 --> 00:52:45,204
Here's Sirius Black.
Here's Orange Ninja, okay?
1248
00:52:45,943 --> 00:52:47,410
You all right?
Yeah.
1249
00:52:47,478 --> 00:52:48,877
JACK: (WHISPERS) Greg?
Yeah.
1250
00:52:49,813 --> 00:52:51,405
How's he doing?
He's all right.
1251
00:52:51,482 --> 00:52:53,882
You know, he's
a little shaken up, but...
1252
00:52:53,951 --> 00:52:56,818
Greg, I was involved
in some covert
CIA-sponsored
1253
00:52:56,887 --> 00:52:59,082
mind-altering techniques
back in the '70s.
1254
00:52:59,156 --> 00:53:00,817
I'd like a few minutes
alone with him
1255
00:53:00,891 --> 00:53:03,052
just to erase what
he saw from his memory.
1256
00:53:03,393 --> 00:53:05,418
You're not gonna erase
my son's memory.
1257
00:53:05,496 --> 00:53:09,159
Greg, he saw his father
inject a needle into his
grandfather's penis.
1258
00:53:09,233 --> 00:53:13,033
He already has issues.
That's something he might
never recover from.
1259
00:53:13,103 --> 00:53:15,230
I'll handle it, okay?
All right?
1260
00:53:15,305 --> 00:53:16,294
Okay, thank you.
1261
00:53:18,842 --> 00:53:21,072
Hey, buddy.
1262
00:53:21,144 --> 00:53:24,978
So, you know how sometimes
you need help when you...
1263
00:53:26,216 --> 00:53:27,808
When you make a wee-wee?
Yeah.
1264
00:53:27,885 --> 00:53:30,353
Well, when you get to be
Grandpa Jack's age,
1265
00:53:30,420 --> 00:53:33,048
sometimes you need help
making a wee-wee, too.
1266
00:53:33,123 --> 00:53:34,283
So that's what you
saw me doing.
1267
00:53:34,358 --> 00:53:37,225
I was helping Grandpa Jack
because he's old.
1268
00:53:38,829 --> 00:53:40,797
Well, why did
he scream so loud?
1269
00:53:41,565 --> 00:53:44,830
He wasn't screaming.
He was celebrating,
he was just so happy.
1270
00:53:44,902 --> 00:53:50,204
He was, like, "Oh, Focker.
Thanks for helping me
make a wee-wee."
1271
00:53:50,807 --> 00:53:52,968
He just...
He was so happy.
Right, right?
1272
00:53:53,043 --> 00:53:54,203
Right, Greg.
1273
00:53:54,278 --> 00:53:55,939
Yeah.
JACK: Understand?
1274
00:53:56,246 --> 00:53:57,713
I think so.
GREG: Good.
1275
00:54:02,219 --> 00:54:04,847
Don't think this incident
is distracting me, Focker.
1276
00:54:04,922 --> 00:54:07,720
I know
you're up to something
and I'm watching you.
1277
00:54:08,458 --> 00:54:11,586
Well, guess what?
I have eyes, too.
1278
00:54:11,662 --> 00:54:16,258
So, I'll be watching you,
watching me.
1279
00:54:16,967 --> 00:54:18,264
Okay.
All right?
1280
00:54:18,335 --> 00:54:19,563
Fair enough.
Good.
1281
00:54:19,636 --> 00:54:21,069
So we just watch
each other, all right?
1282
00:54:21,138 --> 00:54:22,503
Okay, okay.
1283
00:54:29,813 --> 00:54:31,007
I'm watching you right now.
1284
00:54:42,359 --> 00:54:43,587
(PHONE RINGING)
1285
00:54:44,127 --> 00:54:46,152
MAN: Domsey's Bakery.
How can I help you?
1286
00:54:46,897 --> 00:54:51,231
Hello, yes, do you still
have the pineapple
upside-down cake?
1287
00:54:51,301 --> 00:54:54,134
Yes, we do.
Would you like chocolate
or vanilla frosting?
1288
00:54:54,538 --> 00:54:57,029
Neither. I'm only
interested in merengue.
1289
00:54:58,008 --> 00:55:00,033
Please give me
your access code
and releasing ID.
1290
00:55:00,110 --> 00:55:04,137
This is Santa.
Releasing ID 7726548.
1291
00:55:05,382 --> 00:55:07,145
I need all-source,
derogatory only,
1292
00:55:07,217 --> 00:55:09,151
on a person
named Andi Garcia.
1293
00:55:09,252 --> 00:55:11,049
Alpha November
Delta Indigo...
1294
00:55:11,121 --> 00:55:14,215
Santa, your clearances
haven't been active
for 12 years.
1295
00:55:14,891 --> 00:55:16,552
Now, you listen to me,
Young Turk.
1296
00:55:16,627 --> 00:55:18,288
I was bugging
Ho Chi Minh's sock drawer
1297
00:55:18,395 --> 00:55:19,657
while you were
still in diapers,
1298
00:55:19,730 --> 00:55:21,391
so don't tell me
about clearances.
1299
00:55:21,465 --> 00:55:23,126
Sir, my hands are tied.
1300
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,794
But, I mean,
you could probably
just google the subject
1301
00:55:25,869 --> 00:55:28,235
and find out everything
you need to know.
1302
00:55:28,639 --> 00:55:29,628
Oh.
1303
00:55:29,740 --> 00:55:32,174
Then I'll do that.
Santa out.
1304
00:55:41,752 --> 00:55:42,741
Hmm.
1305
00:56:01,138 --> 00:56:04,869
Oh, honey, I can't wait
to see Kevin's timeshare
later today, huh?
1306
00:56:05,442 --> 00:56:07,672
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
1307
00:56:07,744 --> 00:56:08,870
What you doing?
1308
00:56:09,546 --> 00:56:11,013
Oh, just checking
the weather.
1309
00:56:11,081 --> 00:56:12,446
There's a cold front
coming in.
1310
00:56:12,516 --> 00:56:13,608
Oh, no.
1311
00:56:13,684 --> 00:56:14,708
Oh, yeah.
1312
00:56:21,692 --> 00:56:22,886
Thanks.
1313
00:56:24,861 --> 00:56:25,885
DINA: Greg.
1314
00:56:26,563 --> 00:56:28,030
Hey, how you doing?
Sorry, I'm late.
1315
00:56:28,098 --> 00:56:29,224
Hi, honey.
1316
00:56:30,434 --> 00:56:32,061
A little emergency
at the hospital.
1317
00:56:32,135 --> 00:56:34,467
Kevin was showing us
his magnificent estate.
1318
00:56:34,538 --> 00:56:35,596
GREG: It's really nice.
1319
00:56:35,672 --> 00:56:36,696
So this is where
you rough it
1320
00:56:36,773 --> 00:56:38,035
when you're not at
the homeless shelter?
1321
00:56:38,108 --> 00:56:40,770
Kind of split time
between the two.
Maybe 60l40 here.
1322
00:56:40,844 --> 00:56:42,812
Really?
Now that Greg's
finally arrived,
1323
00:56:42,879 --> 00:56:44,744
why don't I take you over
to see the meadow?
1324
00:56:54,524 --> 00:56:55,548
JACK: Yeah, this is perfect.
1325
00:56:55,625 --> 00:56:57,217
Oh, this is impressive.
GREG: Wow, nice backyard.
1326
00:56:57,327 --> 00:56:58,692
JACK: Yeah, love it.
PAM: Wow, it is.
1327
00:56:58,762 --> 00:56:59,820
Thank you.
1328
00:56:59,930 --> 00:57:01,522
JACK: Let's reserve that
quadrant over there, Kevin.
1329
00:57:01,598 --> 00:57:03,122
It's perfect for
the three-legged race,
1330
00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:04,531
egg toss,
capture-the-flag game.
1331
00:57:04,601 --> 00:57:08,537
Why don't we put up
a ring of bouncy castles
right out there
1332
00:57:08,605 --> 00:57:10,505
and we have, like,
a relay race for the kids
1333
00:57:10,574 --> 00:57:12,906
kind of intertwined
in between them.
1334
00:57:12,976 --> 00:57:14,068
Loving it, Kev-O.
1335
00:57:14,144 --> 00:57:16,169
Kevin, is that
a tattoo on your back?
1336
00:57:16,246 --> 00:57:17,406
Oh, yes, it is, Dina.
1337
00:57:17,481 --> 00:57:19,676
It looks really elaborate.
Could we take a look at it?
1338
00:57:19,750 --> 00:57:21,047
Oh, sure.
PAM: Mom.
1339
00:57:21,118 --> 00:57:23,018
Well, it's a curiosity.
1340
00:57:23,253 --> 00:57:24,277
(GASPS)
1341
00:57:24,354 --> 00:57:26,083
My gosh.
1342
00:57:27,858 --> 00:57:28,847
Hmm.
1343
00:57:29,092 --> 00:57:30,354
DINA: Wow.
1344
00:57:31,027 --> 00:57:32,358
Is that Pam?
1345
00:57:32,429 --> 00:57:33,794
Yeah, it is.
1346
00:57:33,864 --> 00:57:35,593
You know,
after the whole
Svetlana episode,
1347
00:57:35,665 --> 00:57:37,860
I went on a little bit of
a drunken bender
1348
00:57:37,934 --> 00:57:40,926
and wound up in
a tattoo shop in Moscow.
1349
00:57:41,004 --> 00:57:42,801
And I asked
the artist to ink me
1350
00:57:42,873 --> 00:57:44,272
with the image
of the one woman
1351
00:57:44,341 --> 00:57:47,037
who's always loved me
unconditionally.
1352
00:57:47,110 --> 00:57:48,873
Pam.
My grandmother.
1353
00:57:49,412 --> 00:57:51,471
The point being,
in my drunken stupor,
1354
00:57:51,548 --> 00:57:53,948
I must have handed him
a photo of Pam instead.
1355
00:57:54,251 --> 00:57:56,185
You carry a picture
of Pam in your wallet.
1356
00:57:56,253 --> 00:57:58,380
I do. I carry pictures
of many treasured friends
1357
00:57:58,455 --> 00:57:59,683
and loved ones
on my travels.
1358
00:58:00,624 --> 00:58:01,852
Got a picture of me?
1359
00:58:01,925 --> 00:58:03,950
Of course I got
a picture of you.
1360
00:58:04,027 --> 00:58:06,154
You recognize this
mensch right here?
1361
00:58:06,863 --> 00:58:08,455
Ah. There I am. Kind of.
There you are, yeah.
1362
00:58:08,532 --> 00:58:09,794
That's...
Interesting.
1363
00:58:09,866 --> 00:58:11,697
This is actually
a very flattering portrait
of you, Pam-cake.
1364
00:58:11,768 --> 00:58:12,792
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1365
00:58:12,869 --> 00:58:13,858
Excuse me.
Dad.
1366
00:58:13,937 --> 00:58:15,268
Prudence? Yes! Hello!
1367
00:58:15,338 --> 00:58:16,327
Yeah, hold on, honey.
I don't...
1368
00:58:17,374 --> 00:58:20,070
Terrific. Okay,
yes, thanks, Pru.
1369
00:58:20,710 --> 00:58:23,679
That was Prudence
and she says if you
get to E.H.S. by 3:00,
1370
00:58:23,747 --> 00:58:25,271
she can squeeze you in
for an interview.
1371
00:58:25,348 --> 00:58:26,838
PAM: All right,
that's great!
Way to go, Kev-O.
1372
00:58:26,917 --> 00:58:28,248
PAM: Thank you, Kevin.
GREG: Good job.
1373
00:58:31,121 --> 00:58:32,713
So great you two
could join us.
1374
00:58:33,023 --> 00:58:35,958
Really wonderful
when grandparents
play an integral role
1375
00:58:36,026 --> 00:58:37,926
in early humans' lives.
We love them.
1376
00:58:37,994 --> 00:58:39,586
Early humans
do need guidance.
1377
00:58:40,263 --> 00:58:42,959
Is that your role, Jack?
To guide them?
1378
00:58:43,033 --> 00:58:45,160
Yes, I see myself
as something of a shepherd,
1379
00:58:45,235 --> 00:58:47,965
guiding our family
through life's pastures.
1380
00:58:48,038 --> 00:58:51,371
Yes, I would say
Jack is sort of
an honorary shepherd.
1381
00:58:51,441 --> 00:58:54,569
Kind of a shepherd
emeritus, if you will.
1382
00:58:54,945 --> 00:58:59,109
Well, when my sheep wander,
I use my prod to keep
my flock in line.
1383
00:59:00,617 --> 00:59:04,417
Oh, there are a lot
of family dynamics
at play here.
1384
00:59:05,222 --> 00:59:07,019
Why don't we begin
the interview process?
1385
00:59:08,158 --> 00:59:11,992
Okay, Henry,
I just want you
to clear your mind
1386
00:59:12,395 --> 00:59:16,593
and draw a picture for me
of the first thing
that comes to mind
1387
00:59:16,666 --> 00:59:19,567
when you hear
the word "family."
1388
00:59:20,303 --> 00:59:21,292
Oh.
1389
00:59:22,038 --> 00:59:23,733
This is just like being
at the eye doctor.
1390
00:59:23,807 --> 00:59:25,741
Start at the top
and work your way down.
1391
00:59:25,909 --> 00:59:27,638
Why would she
give her an eye test?
1392
00:59:27,711 --> 00:59:29,872
It's called
a Heisenreich Experiment.
1393
00:59:29,946 --> 00:59:31,538
We used it
at the agency to test
1394
00:59:31,615 --> 00:59:33,310
the aptitude of
potential recruits.
1395
00:59:34,818 --> 00:59:37,719
All the letters are the same,
so it's not really
an eye test.
1396
00:59:39,222 --> 00:59:41,452
Very impressive
cognition, Samantha.
1397
00:59:41,758 --> 00:59:44,124
E... E...
1398
00:59:45,762 --> 00:59:48,526
E? I need to start over.
1399
00:59:48,899 --> 00:59:49,888
(SIGHS)
1400
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:53,431
Okay, Henry,
let's see what
you've chosen to draw.
1401
00:59:53,503 --> 00:59:54,492
(GASPS)
1402
00:59:54,905 --> 00:59:56,065
What is it?
What did he draw?
1403
00:59:58,608 --> 01:00:02,772
Dad stuck Grandpa Jack
in the wee-wee last night.
Because he's old.
1404
01:00:03,146 --> 01:00:04,670
I'm sorry?
What did he say?
1405
01:00:04,748 --> 01:00:06,045
I didn't hear him.
1406
01:00:06,416 --> 01:00:08,350
Something about
Grandpa Jack having a cold.
1407
01:00:08,718 --> 01:00:10,686
So tell me about
your parents, Samantha.
1408
01:00:11,254 --> 01:00:13,518
Tell me about
your parents, Prudence.
1409
01:00:17,294 --> 01:00:18,352
That's my girl.
1410
01:00:18,728 --> 01:00:20,389
Wanna tell me
about your family?
1411
01:00:20,463 --> 01:00:21,760
My dad is a great guy.
1412
01:00:22,032 --> 01:00:23,056
Thank you, buddy.
1413
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,094
But Grandpa Jack makes him
really, really scared.
1414
01:00:27,170 --> 01:00:29,104
So he acts all crazy
when he's with him.
1415
01:00:29,172 --> 01:00:32,266
Like he tried
to cut the turkey
with Grandpa's big knife
1416
01:00:32,342 --> 01:00:37,245
and he slipped
and he cut his finger.
And he was like, "Oh, shit!"
1417
01:00:39,349 --> 01:00:41,010
Oh, he's blowing
the interview.
1418
01:00:41,084 --> 01:00:43,382
She's setting him up to fail
with these questions.
1419
01:00:43,453 --> 01:00:45,717
I mean,
Sam's a better tester,
anyway, so...
1420
01:00:45,789 --> 01:00:47,450
Well, that's because
she takes after...
1421
01:00:47,524 --> 01:00:48,889
Takes after who, Jack?
1422
01:00:48,959 --> 01:00:51,291
Let's just say
I've done some
research on twins.
1423
01:00:51,361 --> 01:00:52,851
There's a theory that
in certain cases,
1424
01:00:52,929 --> 01:00:55,489
one twin gets
an extra chromosome
from the father,
1425
01:00:55,565 --> 01:00:57,533
while the other sibling
gets an extra chromosome
1426
01:00:57,600 --> 01:00:58,726
from the mother's side.
1427
01:00:58,802 --> 01:00:59,826
Hmm.
1428
01:01:00,070 --> 01:01:02,038
Sam might be
three quarters Byrnes,
1429
01:01:02,105 --> 01:01:03,572
whereas Henry
could very well have
1430
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:05,471
a double dose
of Focker in him.
1431
01:01:06,843 --> 01:01:08,276
And what if he does?
1432
01:01:08,778 --> 01:01:10,939
My Grandpa Bernie
taught me this.
Pull my finger.
1433
01:01:11,348 --> 01:01:12,337
Oh.
1434
01:01:12,716 --> 01:01:13,705
(MIMICS FARTING)
1435
01:01:15,819 --> 01:01:16,843
Double dose.
1436
01:01:17,253 --> 01:01:18,311
(LAUGHING)
1437
01:01:19,422 --> 01:01:22,152
Let's go out to the courtyard
for some free play.
1438
01:01:23,426 --> 01:01:25,860
I mean, what is
"free-play test"?
1439
01:01:25,929 --> 01:01:27,260
How well they hang
on the monkey bars?
1440
01:01:27,330 --> 01:01:28,422
I don't think
you get it, Greg.
1441
01:01:28,965 --> 01:01:30,330
You know when
prison guards
learn the most
1442
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,766
about their inmate
population?
1443
01:01:32,836 --> 01:01:34,098
During rec time
in the yard.
1444
01:01:34,537 --> 01:01:36,232
I'm sure Prudence is
in her office right now
1445
01:01:36,306 --> 01:01:37,933
watching every move
these kids make.
1446
01:01:39,609 --> 01:01:40,667
Dad?
Yeah.
1447
01:01:40,744 --> 01:01:42,803
Can I please go climb
that big rock wall?
1448
01:01:42,879 --> 01:01:44,346
Yeah, okay.
Just be careful,
buddy, all right?
1449
01:01:44,414 --> 01:01:45,813
All right.
1450
01:01:45,882 --> 01:01:47,349
Do you think
he can handle that?
1451
01:01:47,417 --> 01:01:48,714
What's the big deal?
1452
01:01:48,785 --> 01:01:51,253
I'm just not sure
you've instilled
the physical confidence
1453
01:01:51,321 --> 01:01:52,845
for him to shear
a face like that.
1454
01:01:53,289 --> 01:01:56,816
Jack, do me a favor.
Just let go of the reins
a little, okay?
1455
01:01:57,260 --> 01:01:59,888
I'll let go, Greg,
when you show me,
once and for all,
1456
01:01:59,963 --> 01:02:01,430
that you have
what it takes to lead.
1457
01:02:01,998 --> 01:02:04,159
I am in control
of my family, all right?
1458
01:02:04,234 --> 01:02:06,998
If I give Henry permission
to climb a wall,
he can climb a wall.
1459
01:02:07,070 --> 01:02:09,265
If he says
he wants to climb
the Empire State Building
1460
01:02:09,339 --> 01:02:10,499
and I say it's okay,
1461
01:02:10,573 --> 01:02:12,131
it's okay,
because I'm in charge.
1462
01:02:12,208 --> 01:02:14,267
All right?
I'm calling the plays now.
1463
01:02:14,344 --> 01:02:17,643
So you just got to step back
and accept the fact
that I have got this.
1464
01:02:17,714 --> 01:02:18,703
HENRY: Whoa!
1465
01:02:18,782 --> 01:02:19,771
(THUDDING)
1466
01:02:20,884 --> 01:02:23,614
Oh, he is such
a brave boy, isn't he?
1467
01:02:23,686 --> 01:02:26,177
See, it's not so bad.
It's just a slight fracture.
1468
01:02:26,289 --> 01:02:27,620
Okay, thanks.
1469
01:02:27,690 --> 01:02:28,679
Hey, Henry,
are you doing all right?
1470
01:02:30,894 --> 01:02:32,862
Hey, I came
as soon as I heard.
1471
01:02:32,929 --> 01:02:36,057
Prudence told me
there was a little bit of
a kerfuffle over at E.H.S.
1472
01:02:36,132 --> 01:02:38,100
Oh, that's an understatement.
Thanks to Greg,
1473
01:02:38,168 --> 01:02:40,466
we can wave goodbye
to their educational future.
1474
01:02:40,537 --> 01:02:41,595
DINA: Jack.
1475
01:02:41,671 --> 01:02:42,933
KEVIN: Oh, no, no.
Pru's a forgiving soul.
1476
01:02:43,006 --> 01:02:45,270
I think I can
patch things up.
In the meantime,
1477
01:02:45,341 --> 01:02:47,775
I got a little something
for Hank the Tank here.
1478
01:02:48,211 --> 01:02:51,180
Someone to
keep you company until
you're reunited with Arthur.
1479
01:02:51,981 --> 01:02:53,812
What is that?
Thanks, Papa Kev.
1480
01:02:54,250 --> 01:02:55,478
Papa Kev?
1481
01:02:55,552 --> 01:02:56,712
Yeah, old fraternity nickname.
1482
01:02:56,786 --> 01:03:00,222
I told Hank the Tank here
he could call me
by that handle.
1483
01:03:00,290 --> 01:03:02,952
You're not Hank the Tank.
Nobody calls him
Hank the Tank.
1484
01:03:03,326 --> 01:03:04,350
You wanna be Papa Greg?
1485
01:03:04,427 --> 01:03:07,487
No, I am Papa... I'm Greg.
I'm Greg, his papa.
1486
01:03:07,564 --> 01:03:08,656
So I don't need
to be Papa Greg.
1487
01:03:08,731 --> 01:03:10,392
I don't need to
put a little thing
in front of it.
1488
01:03:10,467 --> 01:03:11,559
WOMAN ON PA:
Paging Nurse Focker.
1489
01:03:11,634 --> 01:03:13,261
Pam, we need to talk
for a minute.
1490
01:03:13,670 --> 01:03:14,728
Oh, okay. Mom?
1491
01:03:17,674 --> 01:03:19,141
Hey, Louis, what's up?
1492
01:03:19,209 --> 01:03:21,370
What up, dawg?
Hey, hottie at 2:00.
1493
01:03:21,444 --> 01:03:22,570
There's the superstar!
1494
01:03:22,645 --> 01:03:23,703
Hey, hi, hi.
1495
01:03:23,780 --> 01:03:25,145
Hey!
Oh. Hello.
1496
01:03:25,849 --> 01:03:27,749
I have the raddest
news ever!
1497
01:03:27,817 --> 01:03:29,216
Really? Okay.
1498
01:03:29,619 --> 01:03:32,110
So our VP of marketing
heard how well you did
1499
01:03:32,188 --> 01:03:34,156
on your speech last night
and guess what?
1500
01:03:34,257 --> 01:03:35,281
What?
1501
01:03:35,358 --> 01:03:39,294
He wants us to lead
the Pfosten convention
in Maui next month.
1502
01:03:39,496 --> 01:03:41,589
Yeah, that sounds great.
Honestly, I'm sorry.
1503
01:03:41,664 --> 01:03:42,858
I'm just a little
distracted right now
1504
01:03:42,932 --> 01:03:44,092
'cause my son just
broke his arm and...
1505
01:03:44,167 --> 01:03:45,259
Oh, poor baby.
1506
01:03:45,335 --> 01:03:46,461
Yeah, so...
1507
01:03:46,536 --> 01:03:47,628
You're a super dad.
1508
01:03:47,704 --> 01:03:50,673
No, I'm not a super dad.
It is so cute
1509
01:03:50,740 --> 01:03:53,038
how involved you are
with your kids.
1510
01:03:53,109 --> 01:03:56,374
No, no, no,
that's just what dads do.
It's not like a super...
1511
01:03:56,446 --> 01:03:58,380
Louis! What are you doing?
Is this the book?
1512
01:03:58,448 --> 01:03:59,915
What is...
No, go. Come on.
1513
01:03:59,983 --> 01:04:01,951
In the back, right?
I got them.
1514
01:04:02,852 --> 01:04:04,183
Sorry, it's just...
1515
01:04:04,254 --> 01:04:05,516
Somebody's grumpy.
1516
01:04:05,989 --> 01:04:07,684
I'm gonna make this
brief, Pam-cake.
1517
01:04:07,757 --> 01:04:08,951
I'm not getting
any younger.
1518
01:04:09,025 --> 01:04:10,515
Dad.
No, I want to make sure
1519
01:04:10,593 --> 01:04:13,528
there's someone around
besides me who you can
fully count on.
1520
01:04:13,596 --> 01:04:15,393
I couldn't help but notice
how you and Kevin
1521
01:04:15,465 --> 01:04:17,558
have reconnected
these past few days.
1522
01:04:17,634 --> 01:04:20,068
He's financially secure.
He's great with the twins.
1523
01:04:20,136 --> 01:04:21,160
Got a heart of gold.
1524
01:04:21,571 --> 01:04:23,129
He's a little goofy,
maybe, in his dressing,
1525
01:04:23,206 --> 01:04:24,696
but if that body art
is any indication,
1526
01:04:24,774 --> 01:04:26,537
I'd say he's certainly
open to the idea.
1527
01:04:27,610 --> 01:04:28,668
What idea?
1528
01:04:29,679 --> 01:04:32,512
The idea of a simple
course correction.
1529
01:04:33,516 --> 01:04:35,074
A course correction.
1530
01:04:35,185 --> 01:04:37,210
Greg, Kevin.
1531
01:04:39,389 --> 01:04:41,789
Come on, grumpy daddy!
Come to Hawaii.
1532
01:04:41,858 --> 01:04:43,052
(LAUGHING) Okay.
1533
01:04:43,126 --> 01:04:44,753
Okay, grumpy daddy
will think about it.
1534
01:04:44,827 --> 01:04:46,021
Yes!
Okay, okay.
1535
01:04:46,095 --> 01:04:48,120
Oh! Hey, honey, hi!
1536
01:04:48,531 --> 01:04:52,592
Perfect. Pam, this is Andi.
Andi, this is Pam, my wife.
1537
01:04:53,069 --> 01:04:54,093
Hey.
1538
01:04:54,170 --> 01:04:56,263
Hi, it's a...
It's a pleasure
to meet you.
1539
01:04:56,339 --> 01:04:57,966
It's a pleasure
to meet you, too.
1540
01:04:58,041 --> 01:04:59,872
Your husband
is a freaking rock star,
1541
01:04:59,943 --> 01:05:02,343
but I'm sure you know
how lucky you are.
1542
01:05:02,412 --> 01:05:04,312
Yeah.
I'm not.
She's the rock star.
1543
01:05:04,380 --> 01:05:07,941
She's a rock star mom
and just full-on,
rocking person.
1544
01:05:08,184 --> 01:05:09,208
Oh.
1545
01:05:09,285 --> 01:05:10,684
And I'm just a groupie
1546
01:05:11,154 --> 01:05:14,453
trying to, you know,
carry her amps.
1547
01:05:14,691 --> 01:05:17,023
No, you're... You're...
You're the man.
1548
01:05:17,260 --> 01:05:19,194
Everything
all right here?
1549
01:05:20,029 --> 01:05:21,189
Yeah, Jack,
everything's all right.
1550
01:05:21,264 --> 01:05:23,459
Pam, do you wanna...
Oh, my God.
1551
01:05:23,533 --> 01:05:26,764
You must be
the famous Jack Byrnes.
1552
01:05:26,836 --> 01:05:29,634
Wow. I have heard
so much about you.
1553
01:05:30,473 --> 01:05:32,737
I've heard very little
about you, Miss Garcia.
1554
01:05:32,809 --> 01:05:35,073
But I do admire
your cheerleading
photographs.
1555
01:05:35,478 --> 01:05:36,911
Henry's doing much better.
1556
01:05:36,980 --> 01:05:39,107
We were just singing
an ancient Yanomamo song
1557
01:05:39,182 --> 01:05:41,173
about a brave warrior
who falls from a tree
1558
01:05:41,251 --> 01:05:43,549
while hunting
for chimpanzee meat.
1559
01:05:43,620 --> 01:05:45,611
He's good. Yeah.
1560
01:05:46,089 --> 01:05:47,579
Hi.
Hi.
1561
01:05:47,657 --> 01:05:50,125
Andi Garcia.
Pfosten Pharmaceuticals.
1562
01:05:50,827 --> 01:05:52,294
And you're Doctor...
1563
01:05:52,362 --> 01:05:53,727
No. He's not a doctor.
1564
01:05:53,796 --> 01:05:55,627
Not in the Western
sense of the word.
1565
01:05:55,898 --> 01:05:58,162
Not in any sense of the word.
You're an investment banker.
1566
01:05:58,968 --> 01:06:00,299
Many hats. Kevin.
1567
01:06:00,370 --> 01:06:01,359
Hi.
1568
01:06:02,872 --> 01:06:03,998
Okay, cool.
1569
01:06:04,073 --> 01:06:05,700
Well, I'm gonna
mosey on out of here.
1570
01:06:06,976 --> 01:06:08,000
All right.
1571
01:06:08,077 --> 01:06:09,066
(SPEAKS HAWAIIAN)
1572
01:06:11,214 --> 01:06:13,011
Wow, you told me she sold
boner medicine, Greg.
1573
01:06:13,082 --> 01:06:14,174
You didn't tell me
she is boner medicine.
1574
01:06:14,250 --> 01:06:15,342
Pam, that's ridiculous.
1575
01:06:15,418 --> 01:06:17,648
You also said
you wouldn't pick her out
of a lineup, too.
1576
01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:19,187
Wouldn't pick her
out of a lineup?
1577
01:06:19,255 --> 01:06:20,586
Greg, that woman
is stunning!
1578
01:06:20,657 --> 01:06:22,056
Oh, he's covering, Kevin,
1579
01:06:22,125 --> 01:06:24,093
'cause he didn't want
Pam to get suspicious.
1580
01:06:24,160 --> 01:06:25,821
Dad.
Did you see the way
his carotid artery
1581
01:06:25,895 --> 01:06:27,192
throbbed when
he looked at her?
1582
01:06:27,263 --> 01:06:28,890
Dad.
Give me a break, Jack.
Come on.
1583
01:06:28,965 --> 01:06:30,330
Now this is what
I'm talking about, Pam.
1584
01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:32,368
I'm sorry,
but this man
cannot be trusted.
1585
01:06:32,435 --> 01:06:34,801
Could you
for once in your life
stay out of my marriage?
1586
01:06:34,871 --> 01:06:36,498
Greg, come on,
don't get hysterical.
1587
01:06:36,572 --> 01:06:38,472
I'm not getting hysterical.
He's getting hysterical.
1588
01:06:38,541 --> 01:06:40,475
Look, it's natural
to get a little tempted.
1589
01:06:40,543 --> 01:06:41,567
Nobody's tempted, nobody's...
1590
01:06:41,644 --> 01:06:42,906
Look, even our dear friend,
the Buddha,
1591
01:06:42,979 --> 01:06:44,173
had to pass through
some sorrow
1592
01:06:44,247 --> 01:06:45,578
on his way to enlightenment.
1593
01:06:45,648 --> 01:06:47,275
Our dear friend,
the Buddha?
1594
01:06:47,350 --> 01:06:48,977
How's he doing?
It's been so long.
1595
01:06:49,452 --> 01:06:50,612
Do you ever
listen to yourself?
1596
01:06:50,687 --> 01:06:51,813
I try not to.
1597
01:06:51,888 --> 01:06:54,118
I speak from the heart,
off the cuff,
like my man, JC,
1598
01:06:54,190 --> 01:06:55,418
at the Sermon on the Mount.
1599
01:06:55,491 --> 01:06:57,482
I think that's what
you've always
admired about me.
1600
01:06:57,560 --> 01:06:59,653
Well, I got news for you.
You're not Jesus.
1601
01:06:59,729 --> 01:07:01,390
Well, he may not be Jesus,
1602
01:07:01,464 --> 01:07:02,988
but he's a far better
choice for Pam
than you are, Greg.
1603
01:07:03,066 --> 01:07:04,226
Dad!
1604
01:07:04,300 --> 01:07:05,358
I'm sorry.
Would you stop
1605
01:07:05,435 --> 01:07:07,027
with the
course-correction stuff?
No, that's right...
1606
01:07:07,103 --> 01:07:08,468
What's the
course-correction stuff?
It's nothing.
1607
01:07:08,538 --> 01:07:09,800
I want to hear
all about it, Jack.
1608
01:07:09,872 --> 01:07:13,273
You're leading this family
onto rocky shoals, Focker,
1609
01:07:13,343 --> 01:07:14,605
and as captain
of the ship,
1610
01:07:14,677 --> 01:07:15,974
I'm steering us away
to safety.
1611
01:07:16,045 --> 01:07:18,138
Well, you know what?
You're not a ship's
captain, Jack.
1612
01:07:18,214 --> 01:07:20,774
We're people.
We're not on a boat,
we're in a hospital. Okay?
1613
01:07:20,850 --> 01:07:23,717
We're human beings
in a hospital
and you're not the captain.
1614
01:07:23,786 --> 01:07:26,346
Well, I may not be
the captain,
Gregory Focker,
1615
01:07:26,422 --> 01:07:28,151
but you're not
the Godfocker!
1616
01:07:29,592 --> 01:07:32,425
Good. 'Cause
I don't want to be
the stupid Godfocker.
1617
01:07:33,229 --> 01:07:36,790
I'm the Greg Focker, Jack!
All right? I am Greg Focker!
1618
01:07:36,866 --> 01:07:39,357
And by the way,
Dr. Bob told me you offered
him the job first.
1619
01:07:39,435 --> 01:07:40,868
Nice to know I was
your sloppy seconds.
1620
01:07:40,937 --> 01:07:42,336
You spoke to Dr. Bob?
1621
01:07:42,405 --> 01:07:44,032
Yeah, I did, Jack.
1622
01:07:44,107 --> 01:07:45,267
Had beers with him
last night.
1623
01:07:45,341 --> 01:07:46,330
He's in town
for a convention.
1624
01:07:46,409 --> 01:07:47,967
That's it. You're done.
1625
01:07:48,044 --> 01:07:49,375
You're done,
it's over, that's it.
You know what?
1626
01:07:49,445 --> 01:07:51,003
You can't tell me I'm done
because I already quit.
1627
01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:52,377
You're done.
I'm getting off the wheel.
1628
01:07:52,448 --> 01:07:53,472
What wheel?
The wheel!
1629
01:07:53,549 --> 01:07:55,380
The little hamster wheel
that we're all running up
1630
01:07:55,451 --> 01:07:57,783
to get a little taste
of your little water thingy!
1631
01:07:57,854 --> 01:07:58,912
Just, please,
approval! Approval!
1632
01:07:58,988 --> 01:08:00,012
What the hell
are you doing?
1633
01:08:00,089 --> 01:08:01,647
Please! Give me some
of the Jack... Yeah.
1634
01:08:01,724 --> 01:08:03,248
It's like a metaphor
for your approval...
1635
01:08:03,326 --> 01:08:04,725
Thank you for
clearing that up!
1636
01:08:04,794 --> 01:08:06,352
What are you even
doing here, Kevin?
1637
01:08:06,429 --> 01:08:07,862
I'm trying to help.
Why don't you get on
1638
01:08:07,930 --> 01:08:09,090
your stupid monster yacht
1639
01:08:09,165 --> 01:08:10,689
with your bubble-butt
Russian girlfriend
1640
01:08:10,767 --> 01:08:13,759
and do Jell-O shots
off of Deepak Chopra's butt?
1641
01:08:13,836 --> 01:08:16,202
Greg, don't drag Deepak
into this. Please, Greg.
1642
01:08:17,306 --> 01:08:21,174
Hey, Dina. Jack had
a heart attack two weeks ago.
Adios, folks!
1643
01:08:28,785 --> 01:08:29,809
AUTOMATED VOICE: Going down.
1644
01:08:29,886 --> 01:08:30,875
Hey.
1645
01:08:31,654 --> 01:08:32,951
Hey.
You okay?
1646
01:08:34,624 --> 01:08:36,319
Yeah.
1647
01:08:36,392 --> 01:08:37,416
Need a ride?
1648
01:08:39,595 --> 01:08:41,859
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Hey, it's Pam.
Leave me a message.
1649
01:08:41,931 --> 01:08:43,262
GREG: Hey, I'm gonna
sleep over
1650
01:08:43,332 --> 01:08:44,856
at the new house tonight,
all right?
1651
01:08:44,934 --> 01:08:47,129
I just can't deal
with your dad right now.
1652
01:08:50,440 --> 01:08:51,907
Are you sure
you're gonna be okay?
1653
01:08:51,974 --> 01:08:55,341
Yeah, I think I just
need to clear my head.
Thanks for the ride.
1654
01:08:55,411 --> 01:08:56,435
No problem.
1655
01:09:00,383 --> 01:09:03,011
Why am I the bad guy here?
Greg was the one
who was being dishonest.
1656
01:09:03,085 --> 01:09:06,521
Oh, please. All Greg
did was downplay
that woman's looks,
1657
01:09:06,589 --> 01:09:08,955
so Pam wouldn't be jealous,
and you know it.
1658
01:09:09,025 --> 01:09:10,253
You know you did
the same thing
1659
01:09:10,326 --> 01:09:12,590
with that gorgeous
double agent in Helsinki
1660
01:09:12,662 --> 01:09:13,754
during the Cold War.
1661
01:09:13,830 --> 01:09:16,094
Oh, you're still bringing up
Aatukka Kokkonen.
1662
01:09:16,165 --> 01:09:18,599
I told you her beauty
was privileged information.
1663
01:09:18,668 --> 01:09:20,329
It was a matter of
national security.
1664
01:09:20,403 --> 01:09:22,769
Oh, yes.
Like your heart condition?
1665
01:09:22,839 --> 01:09:23,931
Listen, Jack.
1666
01:09:24,707 --> 01:09:26,868
Greg cares about his family
1667
01:09:26,943 --> 01:09:30,037
just as much as you care
about yours. All right?
1668
01:09:39,021 --> 01:09:40,010
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1669
01:09:40,289 --> 01:09:41,347
Pam?
1670
01:09:48,731 --> 01:09:51,723
Don't be mad. I totally
don't want to harass you.
1671
01:09:51,801 --> 01:09:54,964
You just seemed so sad,
I had to bring you
some treats.
1672
01:09:55,705 --> 01:09:57,696
Oh. Wow, thanks.
1673
01:09:58,307 --> 01:10:01,333
Some Chinese food.
Little wine.
1674
01:10:03,412 --> 01:10:04,902
No offense,
1675
01:10:04,981 --> 01:10:06,949
but does Pam
even realize
how dope you are?
1676
01:10:07,016 --> 01:10:10,213
Oh, yeah, no.
I think she thinks I'm dope.
1677
01:10:10,286 --> 01:10:11,344
It's just, you know,
1678
01:10:12,588 --> 01:10:13,885
it just changes
when you have kids,
1679
01:10:13,956 --> 01:10:15,856
you know, because
everything becomes
focused around them.
1680
01:10:15,925 --> 01:10:17,517
Totally. And I'm sure
you're like,
1681
01:10:17,593 --> 01:10:19,754
"Hello! Can I have
some fun, too?"
1682
01:10:20,630 --> 01:10:23,565
Yeah, no. I mean,
it's fun, but it's just
a different kind of fun.
1683
01:10:23,633 --> 01:10:24,691
More wine.
1684
01:10:24,767 --> 01:10:27,201
It's not like
old single fun,
where you go out.
1685
01:10:27,270 --> 01:10:31,070
It's more like wake up
in the morning at 6:00,
make the kids breakfast.
1686
01:10:31,140 --> 01:10:32,835
You know, that kind of fun.
1687
01:10:32,909 --> 01:10:34,570
I love it. I mean,
they're so cute.
1688
01:10:34,644 --> 01:10:36,236
Like, the other day,
Henry came in
1689
01:10:36,312 --> 01:10:38,780
and he had his little
top hat on and said,
1690
01:10:38,848 --> 01:10:40,179
"I'm the mayor
of the kitchen."
1691
01:10:40,249 --> 01:10:41,841
Oh, he's gonna be the mayor?
1692
01:10:41,951 --> 01:10:44,283
Just out of
nowhere he got this idea
he wanted to be the mayor.
1693
01:10:44,353 --> 01:10:45,980
And then he came in
and he said,
1694
01:10:46,055 --> 01:10:49,354
"And here is a proclamation.
You cannot use
the 'frigerator."
1695
01:10:49,425 --> 01:10:53,122
And he had a sash on.
I think I have
a picture of it.
1696
01:10:53,195 --> 01:10:55,925
Yeah. I mean, I'm biased,
but he's very creative.
1697
01:10:57,533 --> 01:10:59,057
I'm going to
step out for a bit
1698
01:10:59,135 --> 01:11:00,625
and get some milk
for the morning.
1699
01:11:00,703 --> 01:11:03,570
Don't, Jack. We both know
that's not true.
1700
01:11:05,308 --> 01:11:07,572
I don't know why
I still think I can
get anything by you.
1701
01:11:08,210 --> 01:11:09,199
Mmm.
1702
01:11:10,446 --> 01:11:12,880
I'm going to find Greg.
I'm going to bring him home.
1703
01:11:12,949 --> 01:11:13,973
You know where he is?
1704
01:11:14,050 --> 01:11:15,074
I have an idea.
1705
01:11:16,385 --> 01:11:19,843
And for the record,
nothing ever happened
with Aatukka Kokkonen.
1706
01:11:21,457 --> 01:11:22,446
ANDI: Aw.
1707
01:11:22,558 --> 01:11:25,493
GREG: And this is
the play that she wrote
called Tropical Seas.
1708
01:11:25,561 --> 01:11:26,892
They're so cute.
1709
01:11:26,963 --> 01:11:28,260
Yeah. They really are.
1710
01:11:30,232 --> 01:11:31,392
That's you!
1711
01:11:31,467 --> 01:11:33,594
Yes. I am
an algae-seaweed-type plant.
1712
01:11:34,370 --> 01:11:35,860
You know,
I got to go home.
1713
01:11:35,938 --> 01:11:37,929
Yeah, I totally get that.
1714
01:11:38,941 --> 01:11:40,238
(GRUNTING)
1715
01:11:40,676 --> 01:11:41,904
(EXCLAIMS)
1716
01:11:41,978 --> 01:11:43,605
Andi, Andi, no, no, no.
1717
01:11:43,679 --> 01:11:44,703
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
1718
01:11:44,780 --> 01:11:45,906
Andi, I think I gave you
the wrong idea. No...
1719
01:12:13,075 --> 01:12:14,633
Greg, ever since
we tag-teamed
on that enema,
1720
01:12:14,710 --> 01:12:15,802
I've wanted you.
1721
01:12:15,878 --> 01:12:19,712
It was just an enema.
Really, I think you're
idealizing the enema.
1722
01:12:19,782 --> 01:12:22,148
Andi, you know what,
I think you might have had
a little too much wine.
1723
01:12:22,218 --> 01:12:26,416
Wine is fine, papi!
I took a few Sustengo.
1724
01:12:26,489 --> 01:12:28,719
You took a Sustengo?
Why would you do that?
1725
01:12:30,326 --> 01:12:31,588
That's crazy.
I'm gonna call a cab.
1726
01:12:35,731 --> 01:12:37,790
Can I see more pictures
of your kids?
1727
01:12:38,934 --> 01:12:42,370
Definitely not. You can't...
You got to put
your thing back on.
1728
01:12:42,438 --> 01:12:43,803
Don't be a grumpy daddy!
1729
01:12:43,873 --> 01:12:45,568
I'm not being a grumpy...
You got to...
1730
01:12:45,641 --> 01:12:46,699
(GROWLS)
(LOUD THUDDING)
1731
01:13:11,867 --> 01:13:14,199
No, Andi!
Andi, give me the phone!
1732
01:13:14,270 --> 01:13:15,999
You want it?
I do want it.
1733
01:13:16,072 --> 01:13:17,232
Come and get it.
I want... I...
1734
01:13:18,908 --> 01:13:20,671
Andi, it's not funny.
(EXCLAIMING)
1735
01:13:21,010 --> 01:13:22,910
Let's go swimming!
1736
01:13:22,978 --> 01:13:24,104
Andi, no,
it's not a pool.
1737
01:13:24,180 --> 01:13:26,273
Is it heated?
Is there a grotto?
1738
01:13:26,348 --> 01:13:28,578
No, no, it's a pit!
Andi, don't do this.
1739
01:13:28,651 --> 01:13:30,846
Come on!
Put your clothes
back on. All right?
1740
01:13:30,920 --> 01:13:33,081
Andi, no!
That's not nice!
1741
01:13:33,155 --> 01:13:35,419
You don't throw
people's phones
in pits, okay?
1742
01:13:35,491 --> 01:13:36,583
You're mean!
1743
01:13:36,659 --> 01:13:38,058
Andi, put the clothes
back on! Come on!
1744
01:13:38,127 --> 01:13:39,492
I hate you!
1745
01:13:40,162 --> 01:13:41,459
(SCREAMS)
1746
01:13:42,098 --> 01:13:43,827
Belly flop!
1747
01:13:45,101 --> 01:13:46,159
(SCREAMING)
1748
01:13:50,206 --> 01:13:51,503
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
1749
01:14:01,517 --> 01:14:02,848
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
1750
01:14:06,422 --> 01:14:07,787
You really don't know
where Greg is?
1751
01:14:07,857 --> 01:14:10,417
Honey, I struck out.
1752
01:14:10,493 --> 01:14:13,018
I guess my skills
just aren't what
they used to be.
1753
01:14:13,095 --> 01:14:14,528
Look who it is.
There they are!
1754
01:14:14,597 --> 01:14:15,586
Hey, Kevin!
1755
01:14:15,664 --> 01:14:17,564
Kevin.
Quite a shindig.
1756
01:14:17,633 --> 01:14:19,760
Well, you only
turn five once.
1757
01:14:19,835 --> 01:14:21,097
Or twice, in this case.
1758
01:14:21,537 --> 01:14:24,199
Now, I've got a little
surprise for you, Jack.
Gustavo?
1759
01:14:26,242 --> 01:14:27,539
Is that who I think it is?
1760
01:14:27,610 --> 01:14:28,838
KEVIN: You'd better
believe it.
1761
01:14:28,911 --> 01:14:30,105
Jinxy!
1762
01:14:30,179 --> 01:14:32,010
When I heard about
your health issues
last night,
1763
01:14:32,081 --> 01:14:33,878
I knew I had to
fly him out here.
1764
01:14:33,949 --> 01:14:36,315
Kevin, incredibly
thoughtful of you.
Thank you.
1765
01:14:36,418 --> 01:14:38,511
How come Daddy's not here?
1766
01:14:38,587 --> 01:14:40,748
Is it because
I was mean to him?
1767
01:14:40,823 --> 01:14:43,690
No, honey,
absolutely not, sweetheart.
1768
01:14:43,759 --> 01:14:45,954
It's because
Grandpa was mean to him.
1769
01:14:46,028 --> 01:14:49,361
But he's coming! He's coming.
He will be here, okay?
1770
01:14:49,431 --> 01:14:51,399
So, let's go
have some more fun.
1771
01:14:51,467 --> 01:14:53,594
All right? Let's go.
Let's go see
what else there is.
1772
01:14:59,809 --> 01:15:01,174
BERNIE: Just wait one sec!
1773
01:15:02,745 --> 01:15:03,871
Gay!
1774
01:15:10,719 --> 01:15:11,845
Gay!
1775
01:15:14,523 --> 01:15:15,581
Gay?
1776
01:15:16,792 --> 01:15:18,316
Dad.
What's that hole?
1777
01:15:18,394 --> 01:15:20,794
Why are you so muddy?
Where is everyone?
1778
01:15:20,863 --> 01:15:22,160
They're at Kevin's.
1779
01:15:22,231 --> 01:15:23,823
The party's over
at Kevin's.
I got to get over there.
1780
01:15:23,899 --> 01:15:25,867
The kids' party's at Kevin's?
I thought you were in Spain.
1781
01:15:25,935 --> 01:15:29,029
I was, but I can't miss
my little gazugas
turning five.
1782
01:15:29,104 --> 01:15:30,230
How are you?
1783
01:15:30,306 --> 01:15:32,866
Hey! Oh, man.
I'm so sorry.
1784
01:15:33,943 --> 01:15:36,707
I was so messed up
last night.
1785
01:15:38,814 --> 01:15:39,872
Who's that?
1786
01:15:39,949 --> 01:15:41,246
That is...
Dad, that's Andi Garcia.
1787
01:15:41,350 --> 01:15:42,749
Oh.
She's a work
colleague of mine.
1788
01:15:42,818 --> 01:15:44,183
Oh, hi, Dad!
1789
01:15:44,253 --> 01:15:46,414
Yeah. She took
a few too many
prescription pills
1790
01:15:46,488 --> 01:15:47,614
and then she
pushed me in the pit.
1791
01:15:47,690 --> 01:15:50,022
Total party foul.
My bad on that one.
1792
01:15:50,092 --> 01:15:51,525
Garcia? Is that Spanish?
1793
01:15:51,594 --> 01:15:52,618
Okay, we got to go.
1794
01:15:52,695 --> 01:15:53,787
Yeah. My grandparents
are from Seville.
1795
01:15:53,863 --> 01:15:57,162
Are you kidding?
I was just in Seville,
mastering the flamenco!
1796
01:15:57,233 --> 01:15:58,325
No way!
Dad.
1797
01:15:58,400 --> 01:15:59,833
What? But I got to
show her a few moves.
1798
01:15:59,902 --> 01:16:01,267
Her grandparents
are from Seville.
1799
01:16:01,337 --> 01:16:02,804
Dad, no, no!
Dad, I got to go!
Okay.
1800
01:16:02,872 --> 01:16:03,861
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
1801
01:16:05,074 --> 01:16:06,063
(EXCLAIMS IN SPANISH)
1802
01:16:07,543 --> 01:16:08,840
Your dad's really good.
1803
01:16:08,911 --> 01:16:11,209
The faster you go indicates
an increase in sexual prowess.
1804
01:16:11,280 --> 01:16:12,440
Andi, good luck.
1805
01:16:12,514 --> 01:16:14,038
(BOTH BIDDING FAREWELL
IN SPANISH)
1806
01:16:16,185 --> 01:16:19,052
It's a good thing
you pulled me away.
I was starting to get a semi.
1807
01:16:19,121 --> 01:16:20,679
Oh, Dad, please.
It's involuntary.
1808
01:16:20,756 --> 01:16:24,283
It's the parasympathetic
nervous system.
Flamenco's very sexual.
1809
01:16:24,827 --> 01:16:26,488
Well, just so you know,
nothing happened with her.
1810
01:16:26,562 --> 01:16:29,360
I know that. We're Fockers.
That's not the way we roll.
1811
01:16:29,431 --> 01:16:32,457
But I know
something went down
with the family. You okay?
1812
01:16:32,534 --> 01:16:36,231
Yeah, just the usual
Jack stuff. You okay?
1813
01:16:36,305 --> 01:16:39,468
Your mom was right.
Man-opause. Makes me
act like a lunatic.
1814
01:16:39,541 --> 01:16:41,441
You know,
I get a little nutty.
1815
01:16:42,878 --> 01:16:44,573
Grandma Roz! Grandma Roz!
1816
01:16:44,647 --> 01:16:45,705
My God.
1817
01:16:45,781 --> 01:16:50,047
There she is!
My little scrunchie-munchie.
Let me look at you, baby.
1818
01:16:50,586 --> 01:16:53,749
Oh, you look so cute.
Do you mind if we
sit down, honey?
1819
01:16:53,822 --> 01:16:56,416
Have a little chat.
'Cause Grandma's feet hurt.
1820
01:16:56,859 --> 01:17:01,558
So, I hear
you're not speaking
to your father.
1821
01:17:01,630 --> 01:17:03,257
Is that true?
1822
01:17:03,332 --> 01:17:06,790
Well, let me
tell you something
about men, Samantha.
1823
01:17:07,336 --> 01:17:12,273
They... They...
They're told to be
tough and hard, you know?
1824
01:17:12,341 --> 01:17:16,209
But inside,
they're quite
soft and gooey.
1825
01:17:16,946 --> 01:17:19,210
Kind of like a cannoli.
1826
01:17:20,482 --> 01:17:22,712
A knish?
It's not exactly that.
1827
01:17:22,785 --> 01:17:26,414
It's more like
peanut butter and jelly
inside burnt toast.
1828
01:17:26,689 --> 01:17:28,179
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1829
01:17:28,991 --> 01:17:31,755
And once you know that,
you can cut them
a little slack.
1830
01:17:32,027 --> 01:17:33,324
Besides, you'll have
plenty of time
1831
01:17:33,395 --> 01:17:34,657
to aggravate him
in your teens.
1832
01:17:34,730 --> 01:17:35,958
Grandma!
1833
01:17:36,031 --> 01:17:38,829
Hi, honey!
Look at you,
how big you got!
1834
01:17:38,901 --> 01:17:40,368
Hi, sweetheart.
1835
01:17:40,436 --> 01:17:43,371
Come here and give me
a Focker sandwich.
Okay, I'm the cheese.
1836
01:17:43,439 --> 01:17:45,066
We're cheese!
I'm the cheese.
1837
01:17:45,140 --> 01:17:47,040
No, I'm the cheese
and you're the bread.
1838
01:17:47,109 --> 01:17:48,440
We're sourdough.
1839
01:17:48,877 --> 01:17:51,471
Attention! Attention!
1840
01:17:58,387 --> 01:17:59,684
(CROWD CHEERING)
1841
01:18:06,862 --> 01:18:09,990
Henry and Samantha!
Today you are five!
1842
01:18:16,005 --> 01:18:17,768
This way.
Okay, thank you.
1843
01:18:21,910 --> 01:18:22,968
Dad.
1844
01:18:23,545 --> 01:18:24,876
Yeah.
You coming?
1845
01:18:24,947 --> 01:18:26,414
Yeah. I just want
to practice the dance
1846
01:18:26,482 --> 01:18:27,881
I'm gonna surprise
your mother with.
1847
01:18:27,950 --> 01:18:28,939
Go ahead.
1848
01:18:29,018 --> 01:18:30,076
Okay. I'll see you
down there.
1849
01:18:30,152 --> 01:18:31,244
Gay?
1850
01:18:32,154 --> 01:18:34,384
My two cents.
The way to deal with Jack,
1851
01:18:34,456 --> 01:18:37,152
no matter what he does,
just smother
that guy with kisses.
1852
01:18:37,226 --> 01:18:38,250
He'll be putty
in your hands.
1853
01:18:38,327 --> 01:18:39,316
Good.
1854
01:18:39,395 --> 01:18:41,022
Love, love, love.
Good, putty, thank you.
1855
01:18:41,096 --> 01:18:42,563
Oh, Gay.
Yes.
1856
01:18:44,299 --> 01:18:45,391
You look good.
1857
01:18:45,467 --> 01:18:46,491
Thank you.
1858
01:18:47,770 --> 01:18:48,964
All right.
1859
01:18:52,808 --> 01:18:54,207
Can you do me a favor?
Okay.
1860
01:18:54,276 --> 01:18:57,370
Can you just put
this leg down slowly?
It's an old sex injury.
1861
01:18:57,446 --> 01:18:58,504
Like this?
Yeah.
1862
01:19:01,617 --> 01:19:02,606
Oh, my gosh.
1863
01:19:04,386 --> 01:19:06,877
This performance
is my gift to you!
1864
01:19:07,656 --> 01:19:09,055
You are the chosen ones!
1865
01:19:09,124 --> 01:19:10,113
Pam.
1866
01:19:12,494 --> 01:19:14,018
Pam!
Greg.
1867
01:19:14,096 --> 01:19:16,087
KEVIN: I pronounce
this your day!
1868
01:19:16,165 --> 01:19:17,496
Oh, what happened to you?
1869
01:19:17,566 --> 01:19:19,158
Oh, it's... I...
1870
01:19:20,602 --> 01:19:22,331
I'll tell you
about it later, okay?
1871
01:19:22,404 --> 01:19:24,429
Look, I'm really sorry
about what happened.
1872
01:19:24,506 --> 01:19:25,666
I just...
I'm sorry, too.
1873
01:19:25,741 --> 01:19:28,232
I let everything
get out of control
and I shouldn't have.
1874
01:19:28,310 --> 01:19:29,937
It's just...
It's just your dad.
1875
01:19:30,012 --> 01:19:31,877
You know, I...
I know. He's insane.
1876
01:19:32,881 --> 01:19:34,815
Yes. Yes.
1877
01:19:36,118 --> 01:19:38,643
Listen to me.
We've got our
own thing and it works.
1878
01:19:39,721 --> 01:19:40,881
It does, right?
1879
01:19:40,956 --> 01:19:43,220
Yeah, we actually
kind of know
what we're doing.
1880
01:19:43,292 --> 01:19:44,953
I love you.
I love you.
1881
01:19:49,131 --> 01:19:51,531
Hey, Sam! Happy birthday.
1882
01:19:51,600 --> 01:19:53,158
Look, I know
you don't want
to talk to me.
1883
01:19:53,235 --> 01:19:54,998
I just want you
to know that's okay.
1884
01:19:55,070 --> 01:19:56,935
I love you anyway.
1885
01:19:57,005 --> 01:19:58,029
I know, Daddy.
1886
01:20:02,277 --> 01:20:03,301
Dad!
1887
01:20:03,378 --> 01:20:04,402
There he is!
1888
01:20:04,480 --> 01:20:06,414
Hey, happy birthday, man!
1889
01:20:06,482 --> 01:20:08,541
Hey, look,
I think you left
something at home.
1890
01:20:10,385 --> 01:20:11,477
Arthur!
1891
01:20:11,553 --> 01:20:13,350
Yeah.
Thanks, Dad.
1892
01:20:13,422 --> 01:20:14,548
(ALL GASPING)
1893
01:20:19,962 --> 01:20:21,395
It's so beautiful.
1894
01:20:25,234 --> 01:20:26,223
(SCREAMS)
1895
01:20:26,301 --> 01:20:27,325
Oh, my God.
1896
01:20:27,402 --> 01:20:28,426
Oh, gosh.
1897
01:20:31,940 --> 01:20:33,271
I'm all right.
1898
01:20:33,342 --> 01:20:37,176
Gustavo!
Birthday cake! Birthday cake!
Try the birthday cake.
1899
01:20:37,813 --> 01:20:39,576
There's 36 different kinds!
1900
01:20:48,357 --> 01:20:49,381
Kevin?
1901
01:20:49,458 --> 01:20:50,447
Rosalind.
1902
01:20:51,693 --> 01:20:54,218
What a mitzvah that
you could make it
to the party.
1903
01:20:55,097 --> 01:20:56,223
What's wrong, honey?
1904
01:20:56,665 --> 01:20:57,859
I wish I knew.
1905
01:20:57,933 --> 01:20:59,332
Come. Sit down.
1906
01:21:01,937 --> 01:21:05,600
Look over this way
a little bit.
And a little up. Up.
1907
01:21:06,875 --> 01:21:08,240
Hey, Jack.
1908
01:21:09,945 --> 01:21:12,072
Wow, that's great.
That's a great likeness.
1909
01:21:13,615 --> 01:21:15,139
That's really...
1910
01:21:15,217 --> 01:21:18,050
It really captured
the intensity
and looks just like you.
1911
01:21:18,921 --> 01:21:20,183
All right.
So, look, last night,
1912
01:21:20,255 --> 01:21:22,314
I think we both said
some things we regret.
1913
01:21:22,391 --> 01:21:25,451
Maybe I shouldn't
have said anything
about Dr. Bob.
1914
01:21:25,928 --> 01:21:28,988
But then you did that
whole course-correction
thing. So...
1915
01:21:29,064 --> 01:21:32,465
Anyway,
"peace" of cake offering.
1916
01:21:37,139 --> 01:21:38,128
(GRUNTS)
1917
01:21:39,441 --> 01:21:40,567
What the hell?
1918
01:21:43,712 --> 01:21:44,838
Oh, shit.
1919
01:21:45,681 --> 01:21:47,444
Jack, you all right?
Jack, I'm sorry.
1920
01:21:47,950 --> 01:21:49,144
Jack, you okay?
1921
01:21:50,686 --> 01:21:54,588
Okay, Focker.
At least you're going to
make this a little fun.
1922
01:21:56,225 --> 01:21:58,716
Jack. Let's not do this.
Come on.
1923
01:21:59,261 --> 01:22:01,593
We've had this date
since the beginning, Greg.
1924
01:22:02,130 --> 01:22:03,119
(GROANS)
1925
01:22:04,967 --> 01:22:07,299
All right. Let's dance.
1926
01:22:08,170 --> 01:22:09,398
Come on, man.
1927
01:22:11,006 --> 01:22:12,871
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1928
01:22:29,725 --> 01:22:30,987
Jack?
1929
01:22:40,168 --> 01:22:41,726
Where are you? Jack!
1930
01:22:45,374 --> 01:22:46,500
Jack?
1931
01:22:53,048 --> 01:22:57,485
Get out of the ball pit!
Get out of the ball pit!
Get out!
1932
01:22:57,853 --> 01:22:58,979
Let's go.
1933
01:22:59,054 --> 01:23:00,988
Get out!
Get out of the ball pit!
1934
01:23:01,356 --> 01:23:02,550
Get out!
1935
01:23:02,958 --> 01:23:04,186
(CHILDREN SCREAMING)
1936
01:23:05,127 --> 01:23:06,219
Jack?
1937
01:23:11,466 --> 01:23:12,763
(SCREAMING)
1938
01:23:13,735 --> 01:23:15,032
(GRUNTING)
1939
01:23:17,372 --> 01:23:19,772
I saw you last night
with Andi Garcia!
1940
01:23:20,809 --> 01:23:22,037
Nothing happened!
1941
01:23:24,313 --> 01:23:25,803
I've been in the wild
for so long,
1942
01:23:25,881 --> 01:23:27,348
that maybe
it's time to come home.
1943
01:23:27,416 --> 01:23:28,940
But then where is home?
1944
01:23:29,017 --> 01:23:31,679
Honey, home is
inside of you.
1945
01:23:31,753 --> 01:23:35,450
What you have been
seeking out there
is right in here.
1946
01:23:35,957 --> 01:23:37,686
In your heart?
No, in your heart.
1947
01:23:37,759 --> 01:23:38,783
In my heart.
1948
01:23:38,860 --> 01:23:39,952
Yes, yes, Kevin.
1949
01:23:40,529 --> 01:23:41,860
(BOTH GRUNTING)
1950
01:23:57,412 --> 01:23:58,640
Suck it!
1951
01:23:58,980 --> 01:24:00,004
(GROANS)
1952
01:24:01,583 --> 01:24:06,043
Arthur? Arthur?
Mom! Arthur's missing!
1953
01:24:22,337 --> 01:24:24,237
Jack! Nothing happened.
1954
01:24:25,774 --> 01:24:27,674
What'd you say?
Jack, nothing happened.
1955
01:24:27,743 --> 01:24:29,335
I'm telling you the truth.
1956
01:24:30,379 --> 01:24:31,676
Oh, shit.
1957
01:24:34,716 --> 01:24:37,583
Jinxy! Jinxy!
Bad cat! Bad cat!
1958
01:24:38,387 --> 01:24:40,048
Jinx! Bad cat!
1959
01:24:40,989 --> 01:24:42,183
Jinx!
1960
01:24:43,759 --> 01:24:45,226
Jinx! Jinx!
1961
01:24:46,194 --> 01:24:47,456
Oh, shit.
1962
01:24:48,196 --> 01:24:51,165
Kevin, you are
a lovely young man
1963
01:24:51,233 --> 01:24:55,067
with a number of unusual
fixations and hobbies.
1964
01:24:55,137 --> 01:24:56,126
Thank you.
1965
01:24:56,204 --> 01:24:57,330
I know you're
going to find your way.
1966
01:24:57,406 --> 01:25:00,068
Trust me, honey.
Because you have
the strength of a lion
1967
01:25:00,142 --> 01:25:02,042
and the soul of a poet.
1968
01:25:04,079 --> 01:25:05,273
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
1969
01:25:06,882 --> 01:25:08,042
BERNIE: Roz?
1970
01:25:09,418 --> 01:25:11,818
Bernie?
What are you doing here?
1971
01:25:13,155 --> 01:25:14,349
What are you doing here?
1972
01:25:14,423 --> 01:25:15,549
The guy has
issues, honey.
1973
01:25:15,624 --> 01:25:18,092
Bernard, I swear this isn't
what it looks like.
1974
01:25:18,160 --> 01:25:20,788
Your wife was comforting me
in a moment of distress
1975
01:25:20,862 --> 01:25:22,887
and my soul just
reached out to her.
1976
01:25:22,964 --> 01:25:24,226
Your soul or your tongue?
1977
01:25:24,299 --> 01:25:25,561
No. There was
no tongue involved.
1978
01:25:25,634 --> 01:25:26,862
There was a little.
1979
01:25:26,935 --> 01:25:28,266
Thank you for your honesty.
1980
01:25:28,336 --> 01:25:31,271
I thought you were
in Spain, honey.
What happened?
1981
01:25:31,339 --> 01:25:32,397
What happened?
1982
01:25:32,474 --> 01:25:35,204
I went halfway around
the world to master
the flamenco,
1983
01:25:35,277 --> 01:25:37,006
but there was
one thing missing,
1984
01:25:37,779 --> 01:25:39,212
my dance partner.
1985
01:25:39,748 --> 01:25:41,113
Oh, Bernie.
1986
01:25:41,483 --> 01:25:42,882
You're my true north.
1987
01:25:43,652 --> 01:25:46,086
I know as long
as we're together,
I'll never get lost.
1988
01:25:46,154 --> 01:25:48,452
Oh, what a beautiful line.
1989
01:25:48,957 --> 01:25:50,288
Come here, baby.
1990
01:25:51,193 --> 01:25:54,788
That's beautiful.
So raw, this electricity...
1991
01:25:54,863 --> 01:25:57,354
Will you get out of here
so I can shtup my wife?
1992
01:25:57,432 --> 01:25:58,456
Shtup her? Yeah, sure.
1993
01:25:59,568 --> 01:26:00,694
GREG: Jinx!
1994
01:26:00,769 --> 01:26:02,566
HENRY: Grandpa! Grandpa!
What's wrong?
1995
01:26:03,438 --> 01:26:04,496
Jack?
1996
01:26:04,573 --> 01:26:06,404
Jack. Jack.
1997
01:26:06,475 --> 01:26:07,499
Jack.
1998
01:26:08,176 --> 01:26:09,438
Honey. Greg, do something.
1999
01:26:09,511 --> 01:26:11,001
Okay. Having some
chest pain?
Yeah.
2000
01:26:11,079 --> 01:26:12,740
All right. Just relax.
I'm gonna check you out.
2001
01:26:12,814 --> 01:26:14,281
What's wrong with Grandpa?
2002
01:26:14,349 --> 01:26:15,782
PAM: He's gonna
be fine, honey.
2003
01:26:15,851 --> 01:26:18,820
Okay, I'm here. Okay.
2004
01:26:18,887 --> 01:26:20,946
Jack, you have your
nitro tabs with you?
2005
01:26:21,022 --> 01:26:22,887
Greg, he's not responding
to my treatment.
2006
01:26:22,958 --> 01:26:26,359
Really? To you waving
your hands over him?
He's not a Ouija board, Kevin.
2007
01:26:26,428 --> 01:26:27,554
Pam? Call 911.
2008
01:26:27,629 --> 01:26:28,687
Okay.
2009
01:26:28,763 --> 01:26:30,697
Kevin,
can you go up to the house,
see if you have some aspirin?
2010
01:26:30,765 --> 01:26:31,789
Aspirin.
2011
01:26:31,867 --> 01:26:32,959
It's all right.
2012
01:26:34,069 --> 01:26:35,195
Jinx!
2013
01:26:41,142 --> 01:26:42,632
Arthur!
Wow.
2014
01:26:43,512 --> 01:26:44,911
Thanks, Dad.
2015
01:26:46,548 --> 01:26:47,742
(SIREN WAILING)
2016
01:26:47,816 --> 01:26:50,307
Just relax, Jack.
It's going to be okay.
2017
01:26:50,385 --> 01:26:51,852
Breathe, breathe.
2018
01:26:52,654 --> 01:26:53,985
I promise.
2019
01:26:55,824 --> 01:26:57,416
Is he taking
any other medications?
2020
01:27:00,128 --> 01:27:02,153
Just the 324
milligrams of aspirin
2021
01:27:02,230 --> 01:27:03,925
I gave him about
15 minutes ago.
2022
01:27:03,999 --> 01:27:06,467
Thank you, nurse.
You did good.
We'll take it from here.
2023
01:27:06,535 --> 01:27:08,059
By the way,
how'd you guys come by
2024
01:27:08,136 --> 01:27:09,626
all these bruises
and lacerations?
2025
01:27:09,704 --> 01:27:11,899
Oh, it's a long story.
2026
01:27:11,973 --> 01:27:14,806
We were in
the bouncy castle,
and then he tripped, and...
2027
01:27:14,876 --> 01:27:17,572
I get it.
My father-in-law tripped
2028
01:27:17,646 --> 01:27:20,308
through a plate glass window
at my wedding last year.
2029
01:27:21,116 --> 01:27:22,242
All right.
Let's get him loaded up.
2030
01:27:23,618 --> 01:27:25,279
Don't worry.
We'll take care
of your husband.
2031
01:27:25,353 --> 01:27:27,878
We're gonna follow
behind you in the car.
All right?
2032
01:27:28,523 --> 01:27:29,512
Greg.
2033
01:27:30,959 --> 01:27:33,985
I know you were
telling the truth
about Andi, Greg.
2034
01:27:34,062 --> 01:27:35,620
Really?
Yeah.
2035
01:27:36,464 --> 01:27:38,989
The pulse on your
carotid artery
remained steady
2036
01:27:39,067 --> 01:27:40,534
as you pleaded
your innocence.
2037
01:27:41,503 --> 01:27:42,868
Right, of course.
2038
01:27:43,905 --> 01:27:45,668
And, Greg.
Yeah.
2039
01:27:45,740 --> 01:27:49,574
It was never going to be
Dr. Bob. It was you.
2040
01:27:50,445 --> 01:27:51,503
It was always you.
2041
01:27:51,580 --> 01:27:53,980
You just relax and
stay quiet, Mr. Byrnes.
2042
01:27:54,049 --> 01:27:55,676
I'll see you
over there. Okay?
2043
01:27:55,750 --> 01:27:57,217
(MUFFLED) ...Focker.
2044
01:27:57,686 --> 01:27:58,983
Why is he cursing at us?
2045
01:27:59,054 --> 01:28:00,715
Hey, we are trying
to help you, sir.
2046
01:28:00,789 --> 01:28:02,381
What? What?
2047
01:28:05,060 --> 01:28:06,960
You're the Greg Focker.
2048
01:28:07,362 --> 01:28:08,954
I'm sorry, what?
2049
01:28:09,531 --> 01:28:12,932
You're the...
You're the Greg Focker.
2050
01:28:16,338 --> 01:28:18,101
I'm the Greg Focker.
2051
01:28:24,179 --> 01:28:27,012
Okay. Okay.
2052
01:28:28,483 --> 01:28:29,507
Okay.
2053
01:28:29,584 --> 01:28:31,211
EMT: Let's get him up.
2054
01:28:51,673 --> 01:28:52,970
(ALL CHATTERING)
2055
01:28:57,145 --> 01:28:58,544
BERNIE: One more.
I need more. I need more.
2056
01:28:58,613 --> 01:28:59,671
One more, one more.
2057
01:28:59,748 --> 01:29:00,772
No, I need more.
2058
01:29:01,282 --> 01:29:02,510
Another present.
BERNIE: Here.
2059
01:29:02,651 --> 01:29:03,879
Best Chistmakkah ever.
2060
01:29:04,452 --> 01:29:05,783
This is a very
special gift, guys.
2061
01:29:05,854 --> 01:29:06,946
HENRY: One more, cool!
2062
01:29:07,589 --> 01:29:09,022
What is it,
Grandpa Bernie?
2063
01:29:09,090 --> 01:29:10,751
I've had it with me
my entire life.
2064
01:29:10,825 --> 01:29:12,918
It's my own original
whoopee cushion.
2065
01:29:12,994 --> 01:29:14,825
What does it do?
Are you kidding me?
2066
01:29:14,896 --> 01:29:16,363
Jack, lift up your leg.
2067
01:29:18,033 --> 01:29:19,330
Jack, come on.
2068
01:29:20,368 --> 01:29:21,630
(MIMICS FARTING)
2069
01:29:21,970 --> 01:29:23,198
(ALL LAUGHING)
2070
01:29:23,271 --> 01:29:24,761
ROZ: Disgusting!
2071
01:29:24,839 --> 01:29:26,101
It farts!
2072
01:29:26,775 --> 01:29:29,710
Jack, we have to
laugh at the stuff that
makes us human, right?
2073
01:29:29,778 --> 01:29:31,973
Gas, burps.
Picking noses?
2074
01:29:32,280 --> 01:29:34,578
You kids want to pick
your nose and flick
your boogers, do it.
2075
01:29:34,649 --> 01:29:35,707
Hey, Bernie.
2076
01:29:35,784 --> 01:29:37,251
But do it only
when it's dry.
2077
01:29:37,318 --> 01:29:38,717
Don't do a wet one.
I have something for Jack.
2078
01:29:38,787 --> 01:29:39,776
Take that to your room.
2079
01:29:39,854 --> 01:29:40,843
It's what makes life, life!
2080
01:29:40,922 --> 01:29:42,514
I know. I know.
Here, Jack,
2081
01:29:42,590 --> 01:29:45,582
this is a little something
from Bernie and me to you.
2082
01:29:45,660 --> 01:29:47,127
Oh, how thoughtful.
Thank you.
2083
01:29:47,195 --> 01:29:48,685
It is a very
thoughtful gift.
2084
01:29:48,763 --> 01:29:49,752
It was your idea.
2085
01:29:49,831 --> 01:29:50,957
I know.
2086
01:29:51,466 --> 01:29:52,899
What's this?
ROZ: What is that?
2087
01:29:52,967 --> 01:29:55,527
That is your own
personal yarmulke!
2088
01:29:56,004 --> 01:29:57,062
Jack.
2089
01:29:57,138 --> 01:29:58,605
One of those
little Jewish hats.
2090
01:29:59,374 --> 01:30:00,602
ROZ: Cute.
2091
01:30:00,675 --> 01:30:03,041
BERNIE: We know
that you're into that
genealogy stuff.
2092
01:30:03,111 --> 01:30:05,136
So, when I was
nursing you back to health,
2093
01:30:05,213 --> 01:30:07,477
I took the opportunity,
when you were taking a nap,
2094
01:30:07,549 --> 01:30:09,278
of snipping
a couple of your pubes
2095
01:30:09,350 --> 01:30:12,046
and I sent it to one of
those DNA testing sites.
2096
01:30:12,120 --> 01:30:13,178
You did what?
2097
01:30:13,254 --> 01:30:16,189
We thought it'd be fun
to trace your lineage
all the way back.
2098
01:30:16,257 --> 01:30:18,282
BERNIE: Yes.
And it turns out,
Jack T. Byrnes,
2099
01:30:18,359 --> 01:30:20,452
that you are
one twenty-third Israelite!
2100
01:30:21,029 --> 01:30:23,122
Welcome to the tribe, Jack!
2101
01:30:23,198 --> 01:30:25,666
While I dispute the findings,
I appreciate the gesture.
2102
01:30:25,734 --> 01:30:26,928
Thank you, Bernard, Roz.
2103
01:30:27,001 --> 01:30:28,127
You're welcome, Ya'akov.
2104
01:30:28,203 --> 01:30:29,727
Your Hebrew name.
Ya'akov.
2105
01:30:29,804 --> 01:30:31,237
BERNIE: Ya'akov.
Ya'akov.
2106
01:30:31,306 --> 01:30:32,432
BERNIE: Two A's.
2107
01:30:32,507 --> 01:30:34,372
Well, listen, Greg,
we're in your home
2108
01:30:35,310 --> 01:30:37,938
and you're in charge here,
so why don't you
lead us in a toast?
2109
01:30:38,012 --> 01:30:39,536
Right.
2110
01:30:39,614 --> 01:30:42,082
Honestly, Jack,
I have no desire
2111
01:30:42,150 --> 01:30:43,208
to try and sound like I am
2112
01:30:43,284 --> 01:30:45,775
in any way
in charge of anything
in this house.
2113
01:30:46,321 --> 01:30:48,983
But I do love our family
very, very much.
2114
01:30:49,057 --> 01:30:53,721
And I'm really happy
that we can all be here
together for the weekend.
2115
01:30:54,629 --> 01:30:57,689
Then we'll part ways
and you guys will
return to your homes
2116
01:30:57,766 --> 01:30:59,358
in your own
respective states.
Cheers.
2117
01:30:59,434 --> 01:31:00,696
Cheers.
Cheers.
2118
01:31:00,769 --> 01:31:03,897
Actually, sweetheart,
your dad and I
have a little...
2119
01:31:03,972 --> 01:31:06,167
Gaylord, we're moving
to Chicago.
2120
01:31:07,408 --> 01:31:09,376
No, we're serious.
We sold Focker Isle.
2121
01:31:09,444 --> 01:31:12,379
We just bought
the house two doors down.
Isn't that great?
2122
01:31:12,447 --> 01:31:14,506
No, that's not great.
Oh, no,
if they're moving here,
2123
01:31:14,582 --> 01:31:15,844
then we're moving here.
Good!
2124
01:31:15,917 --> 01:31:17,077
We'll live together,
one big happy family.
2125
01:31:17,152 --> 01:31:18,210
We should discuss this.
2126
01:31:18,286 --> 01:31:20,254
No. No. No. Jack,
2127
01:31:20,321 --> 01:31:22,221
nobody's moving because
nobody's moving. Right?
2128
01:31:22,290 --> 01:31:24,850
BERNIE: How else are the kids
gonna be Fockerized
if we don't live here?
2129
01:31:24,926 --> 01:31:27,156
No. Nobody's going
to be Fockerized.
2130
01:31:27,228 --> 01:31:28,695
No.
Why not?
2131
01:31:31,132 --> 01:31:34,295
This Google is
a wonderful tool,
Jinxy cat.
2132
01:31:35,837 --> 01:31:38,829
Don't tell anyone,
but I'm going to do
a search on myself.
2133
01:31:56,791 --> 01:31:57,951
Come on. Who needs
something like this?
2134
01:31:58,026 --> 01:32:01,154
Who's the target demo
for a drug like Sustengo?
2135
01:32:01,229 --> 01:32:04,096
And I got to say
it's somebody like
my father-in-law.
2136
01:32:04,165 --> 01:32:07,191
His name is Jack Byrnes.
You know,
he had a heart attack
2137
01:32:07,268 --> 01:32:10,829
and he called me up,
he said, "Greg, I've had
a heart attack."
2138
01:32:10,905 --> 01:32:12,133
Now, I said,
"First of all, Jack,
2139
01:32:12,207 --> 01:32:13,902
"don't you have
to have a heart to
get one of those?"
2140
01:32:13,975 --> 01:32:15,135
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
2141
01:32:15,210 --> 01:32:18,270
First weekend I ever met him,
he said to me, he said,
2142
01:32:18,346 --> 01:32:23,443
"Hey, listen,
keep your snake in its cage
for the next 72 hours."
2143
01:32:24,052 --> 01:32:25,144
I didn't say it like that.
2144
01:32:25,220 --> 01:32:27,085
All right.
Maybe somebody's
had their snake
2145
01:32:27,155 --> 01:32:29,749
in their cage for
about 30 years! Okay.
2146
01:32:33,161 --> 01:32:34,822
Remix. What's a remix?
2147
01:32:34,896 --> 01:32:36,887
You know, the guy is
definitely obsessed...
(RAP SONG PLAYING)
2148
01:32:36,998 --> 01:32:38,693
GREG: (RAPPING)
Byrnes, Jack Byrnes
2149
01:32:38,766 --> 01:32:40,324
My father-in-law
My father-in-law
2150
01:32:40,401 --> 01:32:42,301
Byrnes, Jack Byrnes
2151
01:32:42,370 --> 01:32:44,235
Candidate for the drug
Obsessed with sex
2152
01:32:44,305 --> 01:32:46,034
Byrnes, Jack Byrnes
2153
01:32:46,107 --> 01:32:47,870
Not getting it up
2154
01:32:47,942 --> 01:32:49,705
Jack, Jack Byrnes
2155
01:32:49,777 --> 01:32:51,540
Talk about sexual frustration
2156
01:32:51,613 --> 01:32:52,705
Byrnes
2157
01:32:52,780 --> 01:32:54,941
Obsessed with boobs
He can breast
feed his grandson
2158
01:32:55,016 --> 01:32:56,005
Jack Byrnes
2159
01:32:56,084 --> 01:32:58,712
Mannary gland
Couple of tugs off
the thing himself
2160
01:32:58,786 --> 01:32:59,775
Hey, Focker
2161
01:32:59,854 --> 01:33:01,048
I never did that.
2162
01:33:01,122 --> 01:33:02,817
Hey, Focker, I got nipples
Okay
2163
01:33:02,891 --> 01:33:04,415
Hey, Focker, I got nipples
Wow
2164
01:33:04,492 --> 01:33:06,084
Can you milk me?
2165
01:33:06,160 --> 01:33:07,821
Circle of trust
goes round and round
2166
01:33:07,896 --> 01:33:09,659
Jack
Circle of trust
goes round and round
2167
01:33:09,731 --> 01:33:11,460
Byrnes
Circle of trust
goes round and round
2168
01:33:11,532 --> 01:33:12,897
Jack
2169
01:33:12,967 --> 01:33:15,162
Hello!
Hot little number
he's got named Jinxy
2170
01:33:15,236 --> 01:33:17,227
Now, he's talking about you.
2171
01:33:17,305 --> 01:33:18,795
Hot little number
he's got named Jinxy
2172
01:33:18,873 --> 01:33:21,034
Jinxy cat, Jinxy cat
I love you
2173
01:33:21,609 --> 01:33:22,769
The Godfocker.
161143