Original subtitles

[PENGUINS CHIRP] [ALL CHEERING]

[SCREECHES] ♪ adventure time ♪

♪ come on, grab your friends ♪ ♪ we'll go to very distant

lands ♪ ♪ with Jake the dog

and Finn the human ♪ ♪ the fun will never end ♪

♪ it's adventure time ♪

ICE KING: [SNORING] [LOCK CLATTERING]

Save me, Finn and Jake. JAKE: Shh!

Save me, Finn and Jake. JAKE: We are.

Save me, Finn and Jake. JAKE: Why does she keep

saying that? FINN: I think she's

traumatized, dude. JAKE: Don't worry, princess.

We're gonna get you out of here. FINN: Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Yeah!

ICE KING: [SNORING] Huh?! What was that?!

Darling, are you all right? I thought I heard a [GASPS]

[BEARD FLAPPING] [DOOR CREAKS]

Oh, I see what happened. She broke up with me.

Well, it's your mistake, missy! This ice king's gonna be fine!

[MOANS LOUDLY] Why did she leave?

I put so much cool stuff in her little prison!

Come on, old boykeep it together.

Hey, maybe she called me! [BEARD FLAPS]

Please, please, please. Doo-doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo.

No new messages?! [GRUNTS]

[GLASS SHATTERS] [SCREAMS]

[SIGHS] This is where she used to do her

business. [SIGHS]

I'm so tired of looking at this face.

[HUMMING, RAZOR BUZZING] [SIGHS]

Heehee, not bad. And now for some healthy

exercise. [LAUGHS]

I'm forgetting about that silly old break-up already.

[BREATHING RHYTHMICALLY] All right, let's fly!

Ohh! You fool, you can't fly without

your beard. I'm going to be alone forever.

Hi! ICE KING: Beautiful princess.

Excuse me for approaching you, sir.

You just seemed so approachable. [BOTH LAUGH]

ICE KING: That's funny -- usually my looks put people off.

[GIGGLING] [BIRDS CHIRPING]

ICE KING: Is someone paying you to do this?

[GIGGLING] Tell me about yourself.

ICE KING: Well, there's not much to tell, really.

I'm an ice king. Oh, a nice king.

ICE KING: [LAUGHS] No, no, dear, you misheard me.

I'm not a nice king. I'm a...

[TWINKLE!] ...A really nice king.

[CHUCKLES] And I'm single. [GIGGLING]

Oh, my gosh! [BEEP, CELLPHONE RINGING]

Yeah, guess what? Slime princess is in the park,

and she's, like, talking to a new nice king.

[MUNCHING] And he's, like, totally single.

By the way, don't tell anybody. [TELEPHONE DIALING]

There's a new king in town. Oh, my goodness, I can't

wait to meet him. [INDISTINCT TALKING, RINGING]

FINN: [LAUGHS] And I was like, "leave him

alone!" And he was like, "make me."

And I was like, "okay." And then he was like, "agh, my

head!" [LAUGHS]

Dude, what are you doing? JAKE: I'm just trying to get

a signal. It's like everyone in ooo is on

their phones or something. Oh, man! Ohh!

Have you guys... Seen the new...

Nice king? FINN: Nice king?

Yeah... He's single...

And he's ours! Now get out of our way!

FINN: Agh! [FROG CROAKS]

JAKE: Man, now we got to kick that frog out of his new home.

FINN: Nah. Let him keep it. Hey, if there's a new king and

he's nice, we should offer our services.

JAKE: Finn and Jake-style. Yoo-hoo! Nice king!

[INDISTINCT TALKING] ICE KING: Ladies, I'll have

time to meet you individually later.

Please, just stop squirming. But this looks like a prison.

ICE KING: Pris-- [LAUGHS] Don't be ridiculous.

It's a waiting room. Stop squirming.

BOTH: Nice king! Aaaah!

ICE KING: Finn and Jake! You'll never take me alive!

BOTH: Huh? FINN: You're the nice king,

right? ICE KING: Oh, yeah.

I keep forgetting that. FINN: Well, we will honor and

serve you. ICE KING: Serve me?

FINN: Yeah. We want to be your nice knights.

ICE KING: [LAUGHS EVILLY] Uh, sounds...

Nice. With my rod of niceness, I dub

thee two my nice knights. FINN: Yay! We're knights!

BOTH: Nice! FINN: Who do you want us to

nice-knights against? Nice king, I love you!

Did I tell you that I like the opera?

But if you don't, I hate it! ALL: Nice king...

ICE KING: Please! I'm trying to tell my

nice knights something! [ALL GASP]

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Come here.

The main enemy to the nice king right now is the disorganization

of his love life. FINN: Well, what do you mean?

ICE KING: The ugly ones are all mixed up with the other

ones! I need you to catalog them or

something. JAKE: [LAUGHS]

But we punch monsters. ICE KING: After I choose my

bride, then you can go punch the monsters.

FINN: Managing admirers? We'll give it a try.

Let's move on to something easier.

Um, do you like drums? Um, am I supposed to?

JAKE: She's dodging the question.

FINN: Are you fond of men with magical abilities?

I'm really nervous right now. I just really want to meet a

nice king. JAKE: You can go back to the

waiting room now, ma'am! I screwed it up, didn't I?

[CRYING] JAKE: I think we did a good

job. FINN: I don't feel good

making a princess cry. This is not how knights are

supposed to act. JAKE: Finn, knights are loyal

to their king. FINN: I'm still not sure.

JAKE: Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Loyalty to the king.

FINN: Can't argue with that. ICE KING: Hey, nice knights,

turtle princess is about to walk out that door.

I told her that I like her a lot, but I really don't like her

all that much. Could you guys break it off for

me? FINN: The nice king is not

looking for a relationship right now.

JAKE: Get out of here! [CRYING]

FINN: He's just not ready for a relationship!

JAKE: All right! We did it, dude!

FINN: [SIGHS] I feel terrible.

I need to talk to the nice king about this.

ICE KING: Yes, yes, keep walking in a circle.

[LAUGHS] FINN: Nice king, may I speak

with you for a moment? ICE KING: Princesses, I must

speak to my knight in private. Go on, back into your cage.

BOTH: Bye, nice king! ICE KING: What's up, knight?

FINN: I don't like treating princesses this way.

I don't want to -- I don't want to do this anymore.

ICE KING: Your loyalty is in question?

FINN: It's not that. It's just, princesses are

supposed to be treated with niceness.

ICE KING: Are you implying that I'm not the nice king?

FINN: What's wrong with you?! ICE KING: [LAUGHS EVILLY]

Hey, I'm here! ICE KING: Ugh!

[WHISPERING] Finn, get rid of her.

FINN: What?! No, man! ICE KING: She's too loud and

lumpy. I like smooth princesses --

smooth. I can be smooth.

[GRUNTING] [EXHALES SHARPLY]

Finn, punch out my lumps. FINN: What?!

I can be whatever he wants. I can change!

FINN: I can't punch a princess!

ICE KING: Oh! Finn, just punch her!

Let me see what she looks like smooth.

FINN: [SIGHS] Yes! Hit me, hit me, hit me!

FINN: [GRUNTING] I'm sorry, lumpy space princess.

I just can't punch you. Are you serious?

Fine. I'll do it myself. [GRUNTING]

FINN: Princess, no! ICE KING: Wait a minute,

nice knight. Let's see what she can do.

There. How's that? Better?

ICE KING: Eh. No, I don't like her.

This is all your fault, Finn! [CRYING]

FINN: King, I'm sorry -- I just can't do this anymore.

Punching princesses, breaking hearts -- it doesn't seem nice

at all. ICE KING: Hey!

You're on thin ice, nice knight! Huh?

FINN: Huh. ICE KING: [GASPS]

The jig is up! FINN: What jig?

ICE KING: Uh... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

My jig is up -- up high. It's a highland jig.

I have a new assignment for you, one with more knight-related

stuff -- very important. FINN: Oh, wow! Awesome!

What is it? ICE KING: The ice king stole

my razor. Sneak into his trap-filled ice

castle and retrieve it. And don't look through the shoe

box that he keeps behind the laundry bag in the closet.

FINN: Wha? ICE KING: Those are my

orders! FINN: Yes -- finally

something knight-like! BOTH: Get ready, ice king,

for battle! ICE KING: And once I have my

razor, I can select my elite army of wives and take over the

world!

FINN: Whoa, Jake! Look at all his hair.

JAKE: Did the ice king shave his back or something?

FINN: [LAUGHS] [GASPS]

The nice king's razor! [RAZOR BUZZING]

Jake, look, check this out. Aaaah!

JAKE: Relax, dude. It's just me.

FINN: [LAUGHS] You look just like the ice king.

And so do I. JAKE: [LAUGHS]

These whiskers would make anyone look like the ice king.

FINN: [LAUGHS] Yeah, even the nice king.

[BOTH GASP] The nice king is the ice king!

ICE KING: Ugh. What do those princesses see in

this face? Hope I can keep this going.

So many princesses to meet. Whiskers!

I can't be growing whiskers now! [SHOUTS]

I haven't picked who I want to marry me!

FINN: Nice king! ICE KING: Did you retrieve my

stolen razor? FINN: Yeah, and also...

This! ICE KING: My beard!

Uh, I mean, what is that? JAKE: [SCOFFS]

He knows what it is. FINN: Let's get him, Jake!

Stop! We're not gonna let you beat up

the nice king. FINN: He's not the nice king!

He's the ice king! We don't believe you!

JAKE: Man, these ladies really want to get married.

FINN: Jake, we can't beat up princesses!

JAKE: Relax, dude. Just get behind my ear shield.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

ICE KING: [PANTING] Wait, I can't fly!

FINN: Let me help you! Hyah!

ICE KING: No! Wait! FINN: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Now fly, you liar! ICE KING: Ugh!

[GROANING] Huh?

Ladies, ladies... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

...I can shave it off again. And when you get fat, I'll grow

it back. Uh, aah!

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING] FINN: Now that's what I call

a close shave. JAKE: Oh!

[GROANS]