Original subtitles

(POLICE SIRENS BLARING)

Wow, Lady Annabelle, the famous consulting dog detective.

You must be her loyal sidekick, uh, Dr. Hudson.

I don't know what you're going to find that we didn't, but, uh, Chief said to let you in.

(SNIFFING)

-(BARKS) -What is it, Lady Annabelle? What did you find?

It smells like ground. I don't even know what I'm looking for.

The trail leads to that spooky building! Excellent, Lady Annabelle.

Once again, you are so smart and I am so useless.

DANIEL: Cut!

Seriously, could we make that any more degrading?

How about putting me on a leash?

Charlene, that looked great.

You've obviously been working with your ground-sniffing coach.

It's sniffing the ground! Nose sniffs ground. I don't need a coach.

Everyone take 20 while we set up the next shot.

(BELL RINGS)

(SIGHS) Okay, guys, it's this corner that I don't like.

I wish that statue wasn't casting a shadow.

-(ALL GASP) -Oh, yeah, that's better.

Huh?

(CREATURE GROWLING)

(SCREAMS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

SCOOBY-DOO: Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

Okay, acetate sheet protectors, bindle paper, and electro-static dust lifter.

The Mystery Machine's trace evidence collection kit is now fully stocked.

Did you get lasagna?

No. As I guessed, the crime scene supplies store didn't have lasagna.

(GRUMBLING) Worth a shot.

Huh?

Uh, Daphne.

Let it go, trust me.

-But... -Fred, don't do it!

-But she's wearing a... -Shh.

-No. -But what about...

No, trust me.

(FRED GRUMBLES)

(ENGINE STARTING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Why do you have a beard?

I think a better question is, why don't you have a beard?

Here we go.

Because I don't want one.

Well, I do. I don't hear you questioning Shaggy about his beard.

Did you hear that chin fuzz?

You've officially been recognized as a beard!

Oh, I'm so proud.

Shaggy's a man!

Another first! Take that, Uncle Dave.

We're so proud.

(FRED SIGHS)

Look, Poodle Justice!

Like, Scooby-Doo, that's your favorite show.

(POLICE SIRENS BLARING)

NARRATOR: When the police get a case they can't solve,

they whistle for the world's greatest consulting detective

who is also a dog.

Look out, crooks, because this pooch is barking up the right tree.

The tree of justice!

Tuesdays at 9:00, just watch it!

(SIGHING HAPPILY) Lady Annabelle.

(CHUCKLES) Looks like Scoob's got a crush!

Maybe we should go see the set.

Well, we're just sightseeing so why not?

Cool! How do I look?

Like, this is the creepiest apartment building I've ever seen.

Makes sense that they'd want to shoot a TV show here.

Hey, no wonder people with beards do this when they think! It works.

(SIGHS)

-DANIEL: Quitting? -(GASPS)

It was just one gargoyle, it didn't hurt anyone.

Yet.

Oh my gosh, you're three-time award winning director, Daniel Valentino!

Yes, hi, that's me!

Your films are so real, so authentic.

Very sweet, thank you. Always great to meet a fan.

And yet now you're on a silly mystery show with a dog?

-Hey! -Hey!

No, you're right. This show is silly.

But my last four movies came in late and way over budget.

It's a whole thing, the studios don't trust me anymore.

This is the only job I could get.

It's my last chance to prove I can finish a project on time.

We were a day behind before the gargoyle attack!

Gargoyle attack?

Yeah, one of the gargoyles on the building came to life and attacked the set.

With my reputation, I'll be blamed if we're behind schedule.

As if I didn't have enough problems.

Oh, why do I even wake up in the morning?

(MOANS)

Sounds like you could use help solving this mystery.

It's what we do.

Great, I can use all the help I can get.

Speaking of which, this is Carlie, my assistant director.

She'll show you around.

Give you whatever you need.

Absolutely, come with me.

How you doing, sir?

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Wow, like, nice decorations.

Terrifying monsters really brighten up a room.

Yeah, we picked this building 'cause the gothic architecture was perfect for our episode.

Do people actually live in this building?

MAN: We do.

(BOTH YELP)

-SHAGGY: Yikes! -SCOOBY-DOO: Oh!

You may sneer at these beautiful works of art, but I find them comforting.

What disturbs me are these Hollywood leeches

creating their dark illusions and loud mischief late into the night

when I have to get up early for my job at the Mexican restaurant.

Mr. Sullivan, we came to an agreement with the tenant board.

Silence, foul cog! I stand apart from the tenant board.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for a good

45 minutes on my rowing machine.

(EVIL LAUGH)

And that is just one of the many fires I have to put out.

Let me know if you guys need anything.

All right, gang. We've got a gargoyle to catch.

And an important director's career to save.

Like, great. You kids enjoy yourself in this terrifying gargoyle infested building.

I'm just gonna go...

(SCREAMS) The gargoyle! I can feel the drool from its gaping maw!

It's just a statue, Shaggy. And that isn't drool.

This may be a clue.

-I think you're right. -Wait, it may be a clue? You think he's right?

What does that even mean? When will you know for sure?

Oh, well, it is a clue.

Yeah, I mean it's definitely a clue.

That's more like it!

Hey, and if you guys are hungry,

feel free to partake in the craft service table.

Huh? (CHUCKLING)

Look, Scoob! Show business.

Yeah.

(CHEWING LOUDLY)

Hmm?

Oh, Lady Annabelle.

-Like, wow, Scooby-Doo, it's Belle! -Yeah.

-And she's sitting right there. -Yeah.

And you can go talk to her!

No.

Oh, come on, Scoob. Don't be silly, this is your big chance.

(CLEARS THROAT) Lady Annabelle.

I would like to introduce you to my friend Scooby-Doo.

Huh? Scooby?

-Scooby-Doo! -(TEETH CHATTERING)

(WHIMPERING)

(BELL RINGS)

CARLIE: Quiet on set.

Roll cameras, and action.

Lady Annabelle, are we on break?

(BARKS)

I don't see why.

(BARKS)

Okay, if you insist.

Oh, of course! There was a clue in the ceiling.

(WHIMPERS)

Hey, this does feel great!

-DANIEL: Cut! -(BELL RINGS)

Nice, Charlene. Let's try that one more time, and let's hear, "Ah."

Are you kidding me?

(GRUNTS) I feel like an idiot.

Charlene, come on!

All right, Scoob, now's your chance. Go over and say hi.

Oh!

(STRUGGLING) I'm too scared.

Come on, Scoob. She might be famous, but she's just another dog.

You've faced ghosts, zombies, ghosts of zombies!

Yeah!

Hmm.

Uh...

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLS)

-Uh... -(BARKS)

Phew, thank goodness.

(SCREAMS)

(GROWLS)

One of the gargoyles did come alive.

Like, that's great. Let's make sure that we stay alive.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

-Phew. -(THUMPING ON DOOR)

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMS)

(BOTH WHIMPERING)

(GROWLS)

-Phew. -(SCREAMS)

It's a dead end.

We're doomed!

(SCREAMS)

He's got us boxed in.

That's what I meant by, "We're doomed!"

My beard. The steam is making it frizzy.

Wait, that's it!

(STEAM HISSING)

(GROWLING)

Let's get out of here, gang!

Wait, wait, where's everyone going?

Come on. What, you're gonna let

a couple of horrifying gargoyle attacks scare you away?

Please, my career is on the line here.

See, the beard got us out of that jam.

I would not give the beard full credit for that.

Like, why would anyone cover a building with monsters?

On purpose!

Actually, the use of gargoyles dates back to ancient times.

An old legend says that in the 600s AD, a monster called Gargouille

was ravaging France.

Saint Romanus, the brave and fearless defender, slayed the monster.

The creature was then mounted on a newly built church to scare off evil spirits.

From then on, gargoyles not only served to drain water,

but they were thought to protect the building and its inhabitants themselves.

Their gruesome visages can still be seen all over Europe.

What was that? It was like I was sucked into your mind there.

I mean, seriously, that was off the top of your head? What are you, Velma-pedia?

I tried convincing the crew to stay, Daniel,

but they won't listen to me either.

We're gonna have to shut down production.

Well, that's it, I'm ruined.

(MOANS)

Mr. Valentino?

My friends and I can be your crew.

And I'm back on my feet.

All right, then, I'll go get the actors back.

Let's go get some lights!

Okay, gang. While Velma's looking for Valentino,

we should be looking for clues.

(SNIFFING)

(SWALLOWING LOUDLY)

(LADY ANNABELLE BARKS)

Hm?

(MUFFLED) Lady Annabelle.

(WHIMPERING)

My name's Scooby-Doo.

(WHIMPERS)

(SIGHS)

Daphne, you check the gargoyles for any more of that slime.

Seems beard-worthy.

(SIGHS)

Okay, let's get samples from these gargoyles.

We'll get those from over here.

Shaggy and Scooby, you get a sample from that one.

Like one garg-sample coming up.

Like, all right, Scoob. You go ahead and take a sample from the gargoyle.

No way.

Like it's no big deal, Scoob. This gargoyle isn't real.

(GROWLS)

(WHIMPERING)

What's wrong, Scoob? You know I don't speak point.

You kneading dough, like you want to make rye bread?

What me? You want me to knead the dough to make rye bread?

Hm.

Like the gargoyle is gonna knead the dough

for the rye bread and then eat it all?

Whatever happened to sharing!

(GROWLS)

Forget about the rye bread! It's the gargoyle!

Hmm.

NARRATOR: And Gargoyle Makes Three brought to you by

Running For Your Life, a subsidiary of

For the Love of All That is Precious, Please Help Us.

Gargie, you're home.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Hey, honey, guess whose flight just landed in our living room!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

It's about time.

(AUDIENCE CHEERS)

Your mother made your favorite, rain water and evil spirits stew.

-With extra evil. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

Like so do you have plans for the rest of the day? Or are you just gonna wing it?

-(LAUGHS) -(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)

Hey, what are you doing in my apartment?

(AUDIENCE GASPING MOCKINGLY)

(SCREAMS)

-Next week, on a very special episode... -Us running!

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(BOTH SCREAM)

(BOTH SCREAM)

I think they went this way.

* Shake a leg and count to three

* This ain't no conspiracy

* Just look upset anyway

* No way

* No chance being terrified

(SCREAMS)

* All you do is run and hide

* Best to get the party going

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Get your bones up off the sofa

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Do the Transylvania Polka

(BANGING)

(GROWLING)

* Do the Transylvania Polka

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

(SCREAMS)

* Get your bones up off the sofa

* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

* Do the Transylvania Polka

He's gaining on us! Zoom out.

-That's better. -(GROWLS)

* Do the Transylvania Polka

(GROWLS LOUDLY)

I want off this show. You're my agent so make it happen.

My contract doesn't say anything about attacks by flying mythological creatures.

Well, what do you mean, "Paragraph eight?" Seriously?

Yes, it appears these Hollywood interlopers

have incurred the wrath of the gargoyles.

What more do these heathens require to understand

their raucous presence is not welcome here?

(EVIL LAUGH)

So yeah, just a medium mouth-full-of-meat pizza.

And wait, do you guys have a side salad?

(EVIL LAUGH) Yes! Oh well, ranch.

(BARKING)

As I was saying, we'll examine the samples from the balcony in our lab.

I'm sorry, but this is a lab?

-No. -(CAR BEEPS)

This is a lab.

The gargoyles on the balcony were made of granite and are hundreds of years old.

If only we had a sample from the gargoyle that attacked us.

My beard! It touched the gargoyle.

You're right! Your beard is full of dust from the gargoyle.

Eh, beard?

(SIGHS)

Jinkies! Fred, look.

-Hmm? -Hmm-mmm.

What? What is it?

Don't just exchange knowing glances, share your findings.

What's going on?

What's the location of the next scene?

Uh, the next scene is on the roof.

That's perfect.

But if the gargoyle shows up, it would have the advantage.

I don't know if you noticed, but it can pretty much fly!

I'm counting on it.

What? Why? You've got to explain yourself.

Am I the only one who doesn't know what's going on?

DANIEL: Okay, roll cameras.

Oh, right. That's me.

Scene 34, take one.

DANIEL: And action.

Okay, cue Belle.

And cue Charlene!

(GARGOYLE GROWLING)

The gargoyle took the bait.

Roger that.

(GROWLS ANGRILY)

(MYSTERY MACHINE HONKING)

Hey, rock-head!

Now!

Scooby!

(WHIMPERING) Shaggy!

(SCREAMING)

(STRUGGLING)

(SCREAMS)

(ANNABELLE CRIES IN PAIN)

Annabelle!

(BARKS)

Yikes!

(GRUNTING)

(SCOOBY-DOO GASPS)

Aah!

Doo. Scooby-Doo.

(GROWLS ANGRILY)

(BOTH GASP)

(WHIMPERING)

Hmm?

(SIGHS WITH RELIEF)

Ladies and gentlemen, meet your gargoyle.

Carlie, the assistant director?

That's right! We didn't see it at first, but all the clues pointed in one direction.

We knew it couldn't be a real gargoyle

because the dust from the monster was plaster not granite

like the statues around the balcony.

Plus, in the legends, a real gargoyle was supposed

to protect its building, not destroy it like this one was doing.

The strange slime we found on the lobby statues

was grease that Carlie used

when she made molds of the gargoyles for her costume.

But why'd you do it?

Um, whatever your name is.

That's why. Because I'm invisible even though I do everything around here.

I should be the director, not that insipid little ferret.

I figured that if I got him fired,

I'd finally get a chance in the director's chair.

And I would have gotten away with it too if...

Well, no, actually I can't back that up.

The odds were pretty much against me in hindsight.

Yes, ambition born of dark jealousy sets a fire that burns even itself.

Oh, does anyone have four quarters? I have to put in a load of whites.

Not only did we catch our gargoyle, but Scooby here is a hero.

Oh, I wouldn't say "hero."

Look, I'm glad all is well in the land of dog love,

but unfortunately, the final scene in my show

now ends with a gargoyle attack out of nowhere!

I'm ruined. My life is over!

(WHIMPERS)

I don't know. I think you've got a good ending here.

Gargoyle attacks, hero dog saved the day, looks good to me.

The beard has spoken!

I'm back, Hollywood.

Well, Daph, I guess you win. The beard helped.

No, Fred, you were right. The beard's too much.

Thank you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses.

I think I'm just gonna rock the mustache.

I'll be in the van.