Original subtitles

JULIA: Previously on The Magicians...

QUENTIN: Before I got here, I was in the hospital.

Quentin, I'd really recommend further treatment.

Look, I've never threatened to hurt myself or anybody else.

So you can't make me stay.

Brakebills is the first place that feels right to me

that is not literally a fairy tale.

Quentin!

I made the mistake of thinking you were just psychic.

Do you know how to close your mind?

'Cause I will show you right now.

You are a Traveler.

SUNDERLAND: You can actually move between worlds.

Where you going, kitty cat?

I'm done here. For good. You should be happy. Less competition.

PENNY: Hedge witches, amateurs, sad and desperate people.

That means level 50.

So you were...

Top bitch in New York, for starters.

Get me everything on this list, this week.

QUENTIN: I don't know what you're doing here, Jules.

JULIA: Magic wasn't just handed to me.

People at Brakebills, Jules, they can read minds.

They can fly. You can do a party trick.

You were my best friend.

It's amazing I survived as long as I did

not knowing that I was a Magician.

I can't go back.

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(SNIFFS)

(GROANS)

(EXHALES)

Oh...

(GASPS)

Dude, you're in the wrong... Or I'm in the wrong...

Uh...

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey!

Big stuff. (CHUCKLES) Hey.

You got them? I'm dying. Where are they?

Where are they?

Jesus!

Where are they? Cut it out!

You give me happy pills, me love you long time.

Eliot, they're looking for you in arts and crafts.

Watercolors. Without me, they're adrift.

(SLAPS)

Quentin, could I speak to you?

(MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)

Quentin?

Okay, this is obviously a dream

where I realize I'm in a dream.

So you think your life is a dream?

No, my life is my life, but this is like a... This is a bad collage.

You, the hospital, the dean's office,

the Brakebills, it's all jumbled together.

So we're back to Brakebills.

Hopefully, soon.

Where you think you're a student

studying to be a Magician.

Okay, let's just skip the part

where you don't believe me, okay?

Um...

Yeah, it's a little chilly in here.

How about a miniature sun?

That'd be great.

(SIGHS)

(TAPPING)

I hate these dreams.

It's like your feet are stuck to the floor, or you're paralyzed.

Wait, wait, wait. You released me.

Remember, in the real hospital?

I remember what I said. What was it? Uh...

"You can't keep me here. I haven't hurt myself or anybody else."

You know that isn't true.

Well, none of this is true,

but I said that to you

in real life before Brakebills. (BEEP)

Send him in.

Quentin, do you remember why the court ordered you to be here?

The court? I don't...

If this is a trial dream, lam...

God, these things take forever.

Come in, Penny.

Show me again what you found in Quentin's trash.

I don't want to get nobody in trouble.

No, it's okay, Penny. No one's in trouble.

Thank you, Penny.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Quentin, this is what happens

when you don't take what we prescribe.

You start to hallucinate again

that you're a Magician, you have powers.

It's all here.

Uh...

The house of cards, Alice, Eliot, Margo,

the Physical Kids, The Beast.

I know this can all seem very real, but it's not.

Brakebills is the hallucination.

This is the reality.

You're seeing this, right?

You're very, very sick.

(RATTLING)

Are you not seeing this? (RATTLING CONTINUES)

Oh, Jesus!

(GASPING)

I see you, Quentin, and I'm very, very worried.

Oh, okay, they're gone. The moths, they're... (SIGHS)

They're gone.

There are no moths, Quentin. There never were.

(BUZZING)

Ah! (CHOKING)

(BODY THUDS)

(YELLING) Oh, I can't breathe!

(QUENTIN GASPING)

Code red! Code red! Main office!

Don't let them see.

I heard they shot you up.

(STAMMERS) I'm kind of foggy.

No, no, no. Just focus on me. Okay?

None of this is real. Just us two.

And this.

Where are we?

I mean, what's going on?

You don't remember?

I was at school, I think, and...

And then I fell asleep at a party,

and then I'm here.

Where none of that ever happened, and...

No,no,no, no,no,no.

Oh, man! You came to find me.

I did?

To save me.

But first, we have to break the illusion.

"The illusion"?

I crash-landed on this planet 9.3 light years ago.

DEAN: Alice? Wait.

You're a starship captain,

and you came to rescue me. (CHUCKLES)

I, uh... No. Hang on.

But none of this is real. It's...

We're trapped in a cage,

a menagerie.

DEAN: Alice? (GROWLS)

And they show us these illusions

to make us fall in love and mate.

(SNAPS)

Alice, that's enough.

Give them back.

What, Dr. Fogg?

All of them, Alice. We need them for bridge.

(GRUNTS)

They collect us from all over the galaxy to feed off our emotions.

No, that's not true. It's an episode of Lost in Space-

Star Trek. What?

That's an episode of Star Trek.

It's an episode of Star Trek.

They finally got to you. You belong to them now.

(GIGGLING)

It's okay. I'll still mate with you.

(LAUGHING)

All right, that's enough.

Me, three!

That's enough.

Me, three.

(SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT)

Quentin, how are you?

Are you feeling any better?

I guess.

Good. Are you up for seeing a visitor?

Hey, Q.

I mean, Yale's still kind of a letdown. Still, in the best way.

I mean, you would've... Well, you...

I mean, you will totally agree, you know, once, you know, it's you.

When what? When I'm out?

It's just so much easier than I... Than we expected, is all.

So you've been at Yale these last few months...

And I've been here?

You don't remember?

This? No.

Okay.

James is sorry he couldn't make it tonight,

but he'll be by next week.

You know, he had to lock down a church.

Church?

Mmm-hmm. For the wedding.

Are you engaged?

(CHUCKLES)

It's okay.

No, it's not okay.

Seriously, it doesn't even matter. It's not important.

It's a spell.

"A spell"?

We're all trapped in it,

and I'm the only one who knows.

Okay, look. I know that I just...

I sounded like Alice just then, but I...

Hey, (SNIFFS)

Um, I swear, I'm not crazy.

I want to understand, okay?

I want to help, Q.

Just tell me. No,no,no.

(GRUNTS) No. Okay, I can do this.

(EXHALES)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(GASPS) Oh, God, look!

(GASPING)

Jules. (GASPING)

Jules, look. Look. Are you seeing this?

Look!

You guys, are you not seeing this? (STAMMERS)

(PEOPLE MURMURING INDISTINCTLY)

(QUENTIN GRUNTS)

Don't. What?

Look at me like that.

Don't feel sorry for me. Do not.

I'm not me, and you're not you,

and this is not happening.

Do you hear me? This is not happening.

I'm not... I'm not here. lam the one that got into Brakebills.

I'm in Brakebills! PENNY: Hey, you!

Keep your voice down.

I'm sorry. It's my fault. Um...

Sorry.

I'm gonna go, okay? I'll be back Friday.

This can't be my life.

Jules, it can't.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

I wanted to see the fireworks.

I really did.

Wait.

How did you know they were fireworks?

What? If you couldn't see them,

how did you know they were fireworks?

You told me.

I never said the word

"fireworks," Julia.

What's going on here?

(LAUGHS)

Okay, did nobody see that?

See what?

You laughing at me.

Laughing at you?

What kind of a friend would do that?

Exactly.

Goodbye, Quentin.

What... (GASPS)

All of them, one by one.

Begin.

I believe you, Quentin.

You are a Magician.

A very bad one.

One thing that's real. You're always a raging dick.

(WHISPERS) Ellsworth Downs.

Ellsworth Downs.

Ellsworth.

Ellsworth Downs.

(SIGHS)

JANE: (ECHOING) You know.

(SNIFFS)

You know where to look, Quentin.

I can't show you. I can't touch you.

It's very strong, this spell.

It is... lt is a spell?

It's in the book, the book is you. This is all you.

Me?

Uh, which book?

Jane?

Uh,I can't remember what, uh...

Jane, they gave me pills, and I can't remember.

Jane!

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

(ECHOING) Jane!

(PAPER TEARING)

No,no,no! Stop! Stop it! Stop!

No! The answer's in these books.

Jane said that... (LAUGHING)

These books are my key to getting out of here.

Jesus.

Every time I talk, I sound batshit.

(SIGHS) (LAUGHING)

Could I get some tape any place?

Tape isn't permitted.

Tape isn't permitted. Right, I know.

But why, again?

'Cause you can harm yourself or others.

It's tape.

That can strangle, suffocate...

Okay, what if you watched me the whole time?

No one has that kind of time.

I need to put these pages back together.

You need to get to music therapy.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

Music is a way for us to express and receive feeling

in a way that is safe and fun

and sometimes illuminating.

So, who'd like to begin?

PENNY: Oh, God, please not that one song.

Ah, I'm sorry. What was that, Penny?

Oh, that one song?

Please, no. It gets in my head, and it never leaves.

Oh, which song is that?

Michael Row the Boat Ashore.

(WHISPERS) #Agree.

Everything here is me.

DR. LONDON: All right, everyone,

why don't we kick it off with the Beatles?

Helter Skelter! Helter Skelter, please!

I was thinking Here Comes the...

(SINGING) I stay out too late Got nothing in my brain

That's what people say That's what people say

I go on too many dates But I can't make them stay

At least that's what people say That's what people say

(PIANO PLAYING) But I keep cruising

Can't stop, won't stop moving

it's like I got this music in my mind saying it's gonna be all right

'Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play

He's doing this because I made him take his pills!

And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

No! Dr. London!

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake,shake,shake,shake

Shake it off Shake it off

I never miss a beat I'm lightning on my feet

And that's what they don't see That's what they don't see

I'm dancing on my own I make the moves up as I go

And that's what they don't know That's what they don't know

Hey, Penny. Good luck getting that out of your head.

(PEOPLE CHEERING)

MAN: (ON PA) PTSD specialist to ward room two.

I hear you were the hit of music therapy today, Quentin.

Look, I think I know what's going on here,

and I think I know how to get help.

Well, help is why we're here.

No, it's not.

I don't mean to be rude, but you're here because of a spell,

and I need to break the spell.

Quentin. And if I can just reach Penny,

the real Penny, and if I can get inside of his head...

Enough.

That's enough.

Can I please have some tape?

Do you remember the last time you saw your father?

(SIGHS)

Dinner a few months ago. Why?

Dad?

Hello, Curly Q.

I...

What happened to your face?

Did you run into a door?

You did that, Quentin.

I...

(SCOFFS)

Come on.

It's time you see something.

Look, I'm telling you, it wasn't my dad. It was The Beast.

I never even touched him! I used battle magic,

the same magic that I'm gonna use to get out of here.

Are you ready? Come on. Come on!

(BANGING) What did you do to my powers?

I need my powers. The Beast is here, okay?

He's coming for me. He's coming for you. He is coming to kill us.

You have got to give me back my power!

I've got to save you!

Ahh!

DR. LONDON: Do you remember that night?

Um...

Your father does.

Tell him, Ted.

He needs to hear it. He needs to know the truth why he's here.

We were having dinner to celebrate when you got into Yale, and...

In the middle of the restaurant,

you suddenly said there were moths everywhere.

No.

And then you started calling me "The Beast."

Mmm-mmm.

You're lying.

And then you picked up a knife.

Mmm-mmm. No. I tried to stop you.

I grabbed you. I tried to stop you from...

What? From what?

You tried to kill your father, Quentin.

(WHIMPERS)

(BREATHING SHAKILY)

You need to stop fighting this, Quentin.

The more you believe in magic, Brakebills,

The Beast, the more harm you do.

Accept who you are and what's put you here.

That's how you get better, Quentin. I promise.

Hey, Q, seriously, talk to me. Are you fucking with me?

(BLOWS)

(SNAPS) Dude.

Uh, um...

Look, this'll all be over soon, okay?

Just try not to get buried under it.

I'm gonna talk to someone. Shit.

(SINGING) Play, play, play, play

Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break

Players gonna play, play, play, play, play

Shake it off Shake it off

Players gonna play, play, play, play, play Hey!

Quit singing that stupid song!

Play, play, play (SNAPS)

Damn it.

Quentin!

(HUMMING)

Oh, no.

Yeah, that's right. I'm talking to you.

I told you, keep up with that stupid song,

and I'd come right into your brain and rip it out.

No,no,no. Here I am.

By the way, this is the most pathetic loser dream ever.

Stop, okay? Just stop. Please stop. Stop.

Please be knowing that dinner will be served in five minutes,

and today, we are to be serving chicken curry,

which is, of course, my favorite.

You racist motherfucker.

You're not real.

Yeah, how's that? Real enough?

That hurt. Do it again, harder.

What kind of sick shit are you about, Goldwater?

Harder.

(BANGS)

Ow.

(PANTING)

Nobody here can see you.

Yeah, 'cause there's no "here," dumbass.

This is all in your head. I'm in your head.

Now stop singing that song, so I can go the fuck back to sleep.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, my God. It worked.

I did that. I called you. I called you with the song.

You called me?

I'm in trouble. Seriously, help me.

What is today out there?

Wednesday.

So I've only been gone for a night.

Am I asleep there somewhere?

I don't know what you do at night, and I don't want to know.

Where are you?

Trying to sleep.

This is not a dream. It's a...

All of this, it's a spell.

Please, listen. Find me, okay? Out there, find me.

I have to be conscious to break the spell.

Okay, you have to wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

You, you will not be shouting! End it now, buster.

Wake the hell up!

(GASPS)

Okay. Good job.

Wow. (SIGHS)

My whole body, every part of my body is tingling.

I mean, you didn't tell me it would...

Feel so good?

It's high-end designer cooperative magic.

(CHUCKLES)

lt does something to your cells

to channel all that juice.

Everyone gets stronger.

Um...

I just, um...

l didn't think Q would fall in so deep.

This is nothing.

Uh, what does that mean?

Well, I mean he might want to take his shoes off and get comfortable.

We cooked up a Whopper here.

I don't really see him getting out of it,

even with your boyfriend's help.

Mmm, I thought the idea was

to just mess with him.

My idea was to fuck him up, hard,

and you loved it even harder.

Yeah, fuck him up, not kill him.

Wait, what? Kill him?

He's not gonna die. He just might not actually ever wake up.

(SIGHS) on, my God.

Hey, you are not going limp on me here. This is game time, ladies.

You got the ball, Kady. Don't drop it.

Now go put all that sweet hotness to work.

(SLAPS)

Sorry.

Ellsworth.

Ellsworth Downs. Ellsworth...

Downs. Ellis...

Wirth-Downs, Ellis Wirth-Downs. The Madness Maker.

On, God. Okay.

"In all of Fillory, one Magician

"could drive every other Magician insane.

"An inventor of puzzles with no solution

"and games where the rules changed for no reason.

"He was called the Madness Maker,

"but he had been born Ellis Wirth-Downs.

(EXHALES)

"On his first journey to Fillory,

"he played checkers with a powerful witch.

"He cheated, and her curse was simple.

"The only kind of magic he would ever do again was game magic.

"Jane Chatwin knew

"his need to make others suffer was only

"because he felt so alone in his cursed state.

"Because the more Ellis played, the more insane he became.

"But soon, Jane figured out how to break this curse."

Thank you, Jane Chatwin.

"The Madness Maker's curse was, uh..."

It's okay. It's okay. I know this. I know this. I know this.

What did Jane say?

God, why can't I remember?

(FOOTSTEPS TAPPING)

Okay, look, l am, like, 100% sure I invented you,

so if you could please just disappear?

Look, it was a party.

He's probably sleeping it off under

something or someone or someone's thing.

Where you been?

I had to run into the city.

What's up?

Your lover man here thinks our little Q got roofied last night.

Look, we covered the house.

Let's start checking the lab, the libraries, whatever.

I know where he is.

He crawled in here and passed out around 1:00.

Anyway, I've seen weirder.

Come on.

He's breathing. That's something.

Let me try.

This is bad.

How bad?

"We need to tell the dean" bad.

Now what?

We wait.

(SNAPS)

When are you gonna tell me what all this is for?

I did. Bigger, better magic.

Yeah, you just never mentioned how.

I guess I could tell you now.

No, I don't feel like it. Later, maybe?

How about never? That's a growing possibility.

Hmm.

Yes, I thought so.

The spell is called the Scarlatti Web.

We cannot break it. No one can.

Wait, he's not gonna wake up ever?

I said "no one," not "nothing."

We need to summon the Matarese.

Quentin, I really thought we were making progress.

I was wrong.

No! What are you...

DEAN: Lower the wards, please.

Very good. And now the south wards.

Dean Fogg following the playbook.

The only thing that can break our spell on your ex-BFF is a Matarese.

Evil bug spirit of the underworld.

About the only way one of those can get into this sugary wonderland

is to lower all the protective wards and shields in the school,

letting any old anyone waltz right in.

Welcome back to Brakebills.

Let's go steal their shit.

Careful.

(CHANTING SPELL)

That's the answer?

It shorts out the cerebral cortex,

which should break him out of this spell,

which should bring him back, halfway.

Halfway?

The spell is like a prison in the middle of the desert.

The Matarese breaks you out of the prison,

but you have to get yourself out of the desert,

and it is a lot easier with a guide.

Penny, are you ready?

(CHOKING)

(GAGS AND SWALLOWS)

Quentin?

Quentin! Answer me!

The problem is in your frontal lobe, Quentin.

Your emotions are in complete control now,

overriding logic, reason, even the will to live.

So this...

ls inserted into the eye socket.

No,no,no.

It's called a transorbital lobotomy.

Dad! (WHIMPERS)

Dad. Daddy.

(GRUNTS)

No, no, no! Don't! (GASPS)

Dad, please, don't!

Daddy! (WHIMPERS)

No,no,no! Please, don't.

I didn't mean to, I swear!

(SOBBING) I'm sorry.

Stop! Stop talking. Stop listening.

There are only three things that are real. You, me, and...

(GAGGING)

(COUGHING)

That. (COUGHING)

Get up. There are no straps.

This is not a hospital. You are not crazy.

You can make it disappear.

DO it!

(BREATHING SHAKILY)

(EXHALES)

(LIGHTS BUZZING)

PENNY: Quentin?

MARINA: The old alma mater hasn't changed a lick.

JULIA: Wait, you went here?

Kicked out three months before graduation.

So, what, this is revenge?

When you're here for that long, they can't just erase you.

They take you into a special room off the dean's office

and remove every memory you make here.

Every single magical thing you learned, amputated,

but those memories are stored.

Normally, there's a shield on this door 100 Magicians couldn't break.

Now...

(SNAPS)

Keep a lookout.

Wait, what's going...

(GASPS)

It isn't working.

PENNY: I don't know. I went there. I told him.

The Matarese did its thing, and then

everything went black.

He's not gonna wake up. Ever.

No, Marina just has to... Marina is a psycho!

You were his friend.

It's her spell. I can't...

No, I didn't sign up for this shit.

No, you have to go reverse it. Now.

(GASPING)

Well, I can finally reach you again.

But that's never been the problem, has it?

My reaching you.

Will you please, just for once...

No more riddles, okay? Just tell me what to do.

It doesn't matter what anyone tells you.

You make the web you're in.

You're the spider and the fly, just like...

Look, I can help. I can give you the exact wording of the spell.

It's too late.

It was just supposed to be a joke.

Yeah, bullshit. You did it to get even.

Fuck you! Somebody help him.

If I had the exact spell wording one hour ago...

There's got to be something.

PENNY: You have any idea where he is right now?

Why would you do this?

She didn't.

Not by herself. Did you?

JANE: You sure you want to play?

No, I'm not sure of anything.

Except I'm tired... So tired.

Of?

Fighting all the time.

Becoming someone that I actually want to be,

and then realizing that I...

Am nothing.

So you made the hospital,

conjured that terrible thing you never did to your father.

Of course, you're exhausted.

And you can hide from it all, forever,

in this lovely, quiet, blank void.

But you also built a way out.

Otherwise, why are he and I here?

"The Madness Maker didn't play

"for the joy of winning, just the fear of losing.

"The real curse was, he only played when he could win,

"which cut him off from the surprise,

"horror, sadness, and wonder of life."

Jane saw only one way out for him.

Stop playing.

Start living.

(GAGGING, RETCHING)

(COUGHING)

(GASPS)

Somebody woke up.

Took your damn time.

Somebody get him some brandy.

Flying in.

Wait.

Where's the hedge bitch?

(PANTS) Chop chop. They're going back up.

(LAUGHS)

You should've told me that your friend

wasn't properly erased.

I know.

And you and Eliot never should've taken on the hedge witches alone.

I know.

Quentin, do you really think

that the magic that we teach

means that you just get to fly above right and wrong?

Magic does not solve problems...

It magnifies them. I know that, too. Believe me.

I don't need to be taught what magic is or isn't.

I need to be taught magic,

so that I can decide what it is or isn't.

For me.

That was almost well put.

Good night, Quentin.

Oh, and Quentin,

I'm glad that you're still here with us.

Me, too, actually.

(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

Wow. (SIGHS)

WOW. (LAUGHING)

I kind of can't believe lever thought I knew

anything. (CHUCKLES)

I'd like to share now, some of it with some of you.

(SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

(GASPING)

Wait. Wait. No. No.

I didn't get you out of there because you pulled one over on me.

You and Kady bitched out, but you'd talk.

She can't. (CHUCKLES)

Oh, poor you and your taste of honey worse than none at all.

You think Brakebills cut you off from magic?

You don't know "cut off."

But, baby...

(WHOOSHING)

You Will.

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