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(HORNS HONKING)
(SIREN WAILING IN THE DISTANCE)
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(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
There you are.
You're late.
I have a school to run.
(SIGHS) There are more important things.
It's always something with you, isn't it?
It's always an emergency.
It's happening-
They're not even at Brakebills yet.
I know. Get them there.
Pray that they get a little something under
their belts before he finds a way to them.
Your ability
to think that we have the slightest molecule
of control over anything
never ceases to amaze me.
It's not that.
You have to try.
We.
Look, this is your responsibility.
You have to get them ready.
They're infants. They know nothing.
Especially him.
I will do what I can. And you know this.
I do know.
Here.
Just in case.
You do still have an eye on our boy, don't you?
Yes.
Great. Great.
Not exactly.
Why not?
Where is he?
(FOGHORN BLOWING IN THE DISTANCE)
(CLATTERING)
Wow. Nice trick.
Well, I'm sure you're a hit at parties.
(TIME TO PRETEND PLAYING)
I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw I'm in the prime of my life
Let's make some music, make some money Find some models for wives
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars
LONDON: So,
you think you're ready.
I do. Why?
I feel better.
On admitting, you reported you couldn't
concentrate, eat, get out of bed.
You said the feeling of not belonging anywhere was overwhelming.
It's not sleight of hand if you're gonna use CGI.
Well, I'm sorry. That's insulting to anyone
who's ever done any kind of close-up magic.
And that you were the most useless person who ever lived.
And now
you feel better?
It's the original version, the Danish version, that... It's, like, dark.
It's, like, a hundred times better because the Danish people...
(STAMMERS) They have a dark soul.
I mean, I get it.
Get...
You're a kid, and your whole life's ahead of you,
and you have these notions
about what life is
and
what it could be.
But eventually, you have to let all that go.
So that's what I'm going to do. That's what I'm doing.
Um...
It's a part of growing up.
You know, selling the comic book collection
and getting serious.
Studying for an exam.
I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
...because we're gonna go climb this mountain.
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father...
You graduate soon.
And then?
Um, I'm supposed to have a grad school interview
on Tuesday. Yale.
Quentin, I'd really recommend further treatment.
Look, I've never threatened to hurt myself
or anybody else.
So you can't make me stay.
Can you?
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
(CLOCK TICKING)
(QUENTIN READING) "The Chatwin twins and their older brother
"had been sent to the countryside.
"From a young age, Martin Chatwin had a gloomy nature.
"And to combat his melancholy, he would lose himself in stories of wonder.
"So he knew that he would have trouble
"convincing his brother and sister
"that this was no fantasy.
"Rupert, wounded in the war
"and the first Chatwin to put away childish things.
(CHIMES CLANGING)
"And Jane, the family skeptic.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
"This was Fillory,
"a land of magic."
Rupert! Martin! Have a look at this!
(QUENTIN READING) "Martin thought they needed Fillory.
"But, no. Fillory needed them.
"It is here that our story begins.
"But be warned. This adventure is no mere children's tale."
(DOOR CLOSES)
Where'd she go? The, uh, girl in the rainbow shorts?
Yeah, you just missed her.
And?
Not my type-
Dude, she was wearing a unicorn T-shirt. She's clearly into fantasy.
But how would you know? You're in here reading obscure fantasy.
And she's out there.
Honestly, like 73 of her
kind of waiting for you
to finish reading the books you've already read 800 times
and come out of your room.
I'm about to. It's just it's a first edition.
And I am looking at it one last time before I sell it on eBay.
Oh, I'm sorry. ls this a serious conversation?
Should I sit up?
I called you.
All weekend.
Where were you?
I was at my dad's.
I got angsty prepping for the interview,
and I fled for the magical hills of Jersey.
Don't judge.
I'd never.
(DOOR OPENS)
Oh, my God.
My girl. My friend.
Have you no decency?
Not even a little.
Excellent. Three-way! (SCREAMS)
(WOOD CRACKS, SHRIEKING AND LAUGHING)
JULIA: Okay, we have got to pull you together. This is it, Quentin. It.
QUENTIN: I'm still high. Okay, you know what? Screw it.
It's only the alumni interview. JULIA: Right.
And it's only Yale. Right, lesser Ivy.
And, honestly, they probably take anyone conscious for philosophy.
For philosophy, conscious is a detriment.
So I'm good.
You're great.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
You know, you can go. Hey.
I am the angel protecting your future, Goldwater.
Tighten your shit.
Yes, ma'am.
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
Hello?
Um...
(DOOR CREAKING, CLOSES)
It's Quentin Goldwater.
For the grad school interview?
I don't believe it.
(CLOCK TICKING)
(SCREAMS)
Oh, shit!
(CLOCK TICKING)
Well,
he's dead.
By the look of him, he was a big...
I'm sorry?
Why? Did you kill him?
No. Jesus!
I was kidding.
Can we go now?
Let's go.
Wait!
I think he left something for you.
Q, come on, let's go.
Whoa, look at that.
Fillory and Further Book Six, The Magicians.
Look at the date. 1952.
JULIA: All right, please.
There are five Fillory books, Julia. Five.
Yeah, I know, Quentin. Everyone knows.
There's always been rumors of a sixth book that disappeared.
Yeah, and those are just some stupid rumors
off a super-fan message board.
Come on, don't be naive. Maybe, but maybe it's...
What, it's a very special art project
that the dead guy made up?
Because... I don't know. You wrote your admissions essay
on the glory of Fillory?
Come on, Q. Come on. What if...
No, you have to stop.
Stop what?
You can't run away hard enough, can you?
What happened to giving up on the Fillory crap?
You used to like Fillory.
Yeah,I liked it. I loved it.
You got me into it, Julia.
I learned magic tricks just to keep up with you. It was our thing.
Yeah, it was our thing, and it was fun, silly, nerdy bullshit.
And it got us through high school.
I guess I'm just a silly, bullshit nerd, then, huh?
Hey, I'm not saying that. Which never seemed to bother you
until right around the second you met James.
I know where you were all weekend.
At the hospital.
No.
You feel exactly like you did the last time.
Life is raw. Everybody medicates.
No, life is starting.
For real.
Look, lam just saying that
you are good at so much stuff.
Pick something.
Please.
Start living your life.
Look, I got to go meet James.
I love you. Call me, okay?
(WIND WHISTLES)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(WIND WHISTLES)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Great.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Quentin Goldwater?
Uh-huh.
I'm Eliot.
You're late.
Follow me.
Uh, okay. Um, hey...
Where am I? Upstate New York.
Upstate? But I was just...
Hey. Okay, what is this place?
Brakebills University.
You've been offered a preliminary exam
for entry into the graduate program.
Am I hallucinating?
If you were, how would asking me help?
Come on, or you'll miss it.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
DEAN: Late!
Be seated.
Welcome.
You may address me as Dean.
I know you have questions.
They will be answered in time.
Now your only job
is to pass the examination before you.
Begin.
(SOFTLY) Sorry.
I know that. I know that.
Ah.
Please report to this next room
for your final examination. Thank you.
Next.
Please report to this next room
for your final examination. Thank you.
Jules.
Oh, my God. Q? Oh, my God.
How did you get here?
Well, I can't really explain that.
No, me neither. It was so weird.
I went into an elevator,
and then I got out of the elevator.
Thank God. Thank God.
"Thank God" what? No, thank God that you're confused too.
I just started these new meds today,
and I thought maybe...
DEAN: Stop talking, please. Stay focused.
PROFESSOR: You've just been given an examination of your magical aptitude.
"Magical"?
We have reason to believe you possess certain
nascent abilities.
Okay.
I mean,
I used to think that...
And perhaps you did at one time.
Regrettably, you failed the written exam.
I'm here to prepare you to go home.
What?
It's all right.
We'll provide an alibi for your missing time.
That test was crazy.
Any sane person...
I mean, all the questions kept changing.
Be that as it may... No! (THUMPS DESK)
Don't you want students who make actual inquiry
instead of just accepting like sheep?
I'm sorry. Um...
Can I start over?
Please?
I can't just go to Yale if I know this place exists.
Which is why I'm going to make sure
that you don't remember a thing.
(WINCES)
This won't hurt a bit.
Quentin. (CLEARS THROAT)
Let's see some magic.
(CLEARING THROAT)
(SNIFFS)
No.
Magic. Real magic.
Please.
Okay.
(CARDS CLATTERING)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Quentin.
Do you like this place?
Do you have a gut feeling that
it's something special?
Do you want to go back to Columbia?
That pointless, miasmic march to death
you call life?
Family that never calls and
friends that don't really get you
and feeling alone and wrong
until it crushes you?
No.
Then quit clicking around!
Stop it.
Do some goddamn magic!
I said, "Stop it!"
Oh! Oh!
Oh, my God.
Oh!
Holy shit. I'm doing this.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
JANE: I wouldnโt.
Playing with time is such difficult magic.
You'll just make it worse.
Jane Chatwin.
From the books.
Make what worse?
And it won't stop him coming.
Who? The Beast.
You're in the school. He's going to find you.
You're the one he wants.
You have to learn.
Learn what? What are you...
Look down.
You're on the garden path.
Stay on, The Beast will kill you, kill everyone.
Step off the path or...
(GROWLING)
(SQUEALS)
(GASPS)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(HORNS HONKING IN DISTANCE)
(KEYS CLACKING)
DEAN: Magic is real.
But you've gathered that, haven't you?
Havel?
Three-year program, graduate-level studies, program begins immediately.
How did you find me?
Mmm. Globes.
Sense magic.
It's not always right, so we test it.
How did my friend do? Julia?
I'm afraid she didn't make the cut.
And my apologies for the rocky road.
We certainly didn't intend for Bob to die on you.
The alumni guy? Mmm-hmm.
He works for you? Mmm-hmm.
Was he murdered?
Snuck a box of Oreos.
Magicians can't eat Oreos?
Diabetics can't have Oreos.
And the paramedic who gave me Fillory Book Six?
Right. A scout. Freelance. Sort of.
Any more questions? I've got another 24 of you today.
Um... Okay.
So be a Magician?
Is that illegal or...
Are you guys trying to take over the world or...
This school exists for a single and timeless purpose.
To reveal your innate abilities
and hone them to the highest degree.
Now, what you do with it after that is entirely up to you.
If you want to take over the world, then...
We don't teach that, but give it a go.
Quentin. I need an answer.
(SCOFFS)
Friends and family will be given the exciting news
of your early acceptance to a prestigious master's program.
And with a little illusion work,
all their questions will be answered.
Good. Now, your meds.
Quentin. You haven't been depressed.
You've been alone.
And you are not crazy.
You're angry.
And you are correct.
Everyone,
everyone medicates.
Out there.
Here,
we hope you won't need to.
(PILLS RATTLING)
Um...
Are you my, uh...
What up, roomie?
Uh, hey. Okay.
Um, I had a notebook right here.
Fillory and Further Book Six.
And you what? You think I stole it?
Some dumbass kid's book?
Why do you have all that nerd-boy dragon porn shit, anyway?
Are you 12?
(GIRLS GIGGLING) ELIOT: Quentin.
This is the interruption you've been waiting for.
Hi. I'm Margo.
This is him.
Hmm.
He's not that cute.
So, first-years live in these dorms.
Then, depending on your talent,
you go to the house with your emphasis.
Or you flunk out. In which case, bye-bye.
But you wouldn't care because you won't remember.
Good morning, professors.
Physical kids. Telekinesis.
Move shit, lift shit. Most can fly.
Also, magnificent partiers.
Do not come by our house
if you have anything important to do the next morning.
Then there's illusions, healing,
nature, hmm,
knowledge.
(MARGO GIGGLES)
Psychics. You know what they are?
(WHISPERING) Losers.
BOTH: (TELEPATHICALLY) Okay, we heard that.
Eat Shit, Eliot.
Like I said.
What? Who are they?
Don't. You'll scare the child.
Maybe he should be scared.
(SIGHS) You're so dramatic.
(GIGGLES)
That is what's left of the third-year class.
Were 20, now four. No one knows why.
They're just gone?
Mmm, rumor has it, killed.
Or flunked or got bored.
Or died 16 perfectly natural deaths. Whatever.
We all signed this waiver. I hope you read yours.
It says, "Spellwork is not unlikely to murder you.
"And if so, Oh, Well."
So stay on the garden path, kid.
Yeah.
(GIGGLES)
Wait. Did you say "the garden path"?
ELIOT: Yeah, enough maudlin blah.
Let's go find something magic to smoke.
Mmm-hmm.
At the exam,
each of you did magic.
What was inside you was coaxed.
The question is, who can grow this magic
into something more?
Who can be a Magician?
Alice, please.
Ooh, looks serious.
Please! An artist is at work.
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
(SIZZLING)
(CLINKING)
(APPLAUDING)
The answer is yes.
Until you pass out, and then again when you wake up.
Did you just read my...
Nah, it was just a guess.
(PANTING, MOANING)
(BOTH MOANING)
Hey.
Ah, one of those every year.
One of what?
MARGO: Overachiever.
Shy, yet knows they're smarter than everyone.
Therefore, everyone hates them.
QUENTIN: Yeah, Alice is, like...
I don't know how she does it.
That's Alice Quinn?
Yeah, don't bother trying to compare yourself.
I heard she comes from a whole family of Magicians.
It's good to be aware the world is inherently unfair.
Act accordingly.
Hey, Alice.
Come join us.
Make some friends. Take a load off.
Poor little magic girl.
QUENTIN: Hey, Alice.
Look, my friends, earlier, they were just...
Cruel? Unoriginal?
Yeah. Sorry.
Um...
Look,honestly,uh
it's my fault that they said that.
They saw how jealous I am.
And you're the best, it's easy for you.
No, I study.
Then you get it. I barely...
I'm terrified I'm gonna get kicked out.
I need this place.
And I never had friends or parents who...
Look.
My parents are useless, crazy people
who never taught me a drop of magic, okay?
So, if you think that my family is some sort of advantage,
you've been misinformed.
There, is there anything else I can do
to make you feel better, or are you good?
QUENTIN: Sorry. I just got your email.
Cell phone's aren't working up here.
My fifth email.
Sorry. I was working.
You just tell me what you meant by...
I mean, not herself. I mean barely talks to me, not eating.
She looks like a goddamn ghost.
She's not Julia.
Why? What happened?
If I knew,
would I need high-and-mighty mega-genius you back here?
It's her birthday. I'm sure you forgot that, too.
I'm throwing a party.
Okay. Party, good. Oh, party?
We're coming. No, it's not...
Yeah, you go back out there to the great big boring world,
you'll never find your way back without us.
Trust.
So is it black-tie or...
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
This is super risquรฉ. Super risquรฉ.
All right. Okay. What is this?
It is a screwnicorn.
Q. Holy shit. Back from the wars.
Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hey. Hey.
It's really good to see you.
You, too.
Yeah.
JULIA: Scotch, neat.
Saw the balloons over there.
Happy birthday.
Or not.
Yep. So go jump off a cliff. Thanks.
(CARDS FLUTTERING)
I need you to tell them they were wrong about me.
Who?
Brakebills. Say "What's Brakebills?" and I will stab you.
Tell them to test me again.
How did you... Remember?
I don't know.
Maybe I'm a mutant.
Or maybe
I wouldn't let myself forget.
They'll just wipe your memory again.
I should be there.
What happened to "should be at Yale"?
That was before I knew there was something else.
Who cares about business school? Would you?
You have to be able to do
certain things. God!
Were you always this smug?
Watch.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
You have no idea
how long it took me
to find a spell that was real.
Yeah, it's real. Yeah, because I'm a Magician.
Not necessarily.
There's just stuff out there.
There's a lot of nothing spells
that people don't even know they're doing.
You go online, and there's a video of
George Bush they keep taking down.
And he's drunk and he's laughing.
He's making magic air ripples.
And your point is?
It doesn't mean you have potential.
Ouch.
I'm sorry, but they would know.
No, they missed it. I know that I...
No, you know that you don't want to fail.
What?
It's not about that.
Are you sure, Jules? Because you can do everything else.
It's really okay if this is not your thing.
You're hurting yourself.
And you're not okay.
They cut off my life.
Your life is here.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
We got to go.
How's my hair?
Good.
(WATER DRIPPING)
(FABRIC RIPS, BUTTON CLINKING)
(GROANS)
(FABRIC RIPPING, BUTTONS CLINKING)
(GASPS)
Ah! (GASPING)
Hi.
(GROANS)
How does it feel to know that
I can do whatever I want to you?
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
Awesome.
(SPEAKS MAGIC WORDS)
(MOANS, GASPS)
I knew it.
What the hell was that? What...
What are you? Some kind of crazy psycho rapist?
Hey.
No. No, I would never.
I swear.
I just needed to see if I was right.
Oh, you thought the school
was the only place to track the gift?
We've been watching you for quite a while now.
Who's "we"?
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
Um...
Hello? Do you need help?
What the...
Funny thing about Fillory.
You don't really decide when to go.
It decides, if you deserve to.
You haven't listened, Quentin.
You stuck firm to that path.
It's going to kill you. Do you understand?
No, I don't understand.
Stop talking, you child.
Look, I know you like Brakebills.
I know you feel you finally belong,
but that place isn't the point.
You won't be there long.
Shut up. This is a dream,
and you are a fictional English schoolgirl
stuck in my head from a book.
You know I'm not.
Look, Brakebills is the first place that feels right to me
that is not literally a fairy tale.
Brakebills is a tool.
You feel right because you're starting toward your destiny.
That's all.
Quit clinging. Start questioning.
Seek real answers that will help you fight.
All right, back off.
I know that symbol. What is it?
Find out, won't you?
(SCREAMS)
(GROANS)
Uh, hey, you were looking for something
in the cafe the other day.
There was a page with a symbol. Go away.
Wait.
What does that mean?
How did you get this?
I'll tell you if you tell me.
Okay, fine.
Tonight, 10:00 p.m. Meet me at the Admin Building.
And bring an Estonian-English dictionary.
What does it mean?
"Contact the other side."
The other side? What is it, like, sรฉance shit?
Summoning, technically, but, yes.
Right. Summoning, of course. Yeah.
When I'm trying to contact the dead,
I like to summon them whenever possible.
Yeah, that's the plan.
As soon as we get the book that I need
that apparently got pulled off the shelves two years ago.
Pulled? ls it locked up?
It's in the Dean's private collection.
Which means it needs to be stolen, right?
Okay. Uh...
Look, I really, I don't want to get kicked out.
And I really don't want to be the guy
who dies in the first 10 minutes of the movie
because he's like, "You know what?
"Let's take out the Ouija board."
What could possibly go wrong?
Do you want to cheat off my labs, huh? Do you want a tutor?
Do you want to get straight As? I can do that for you.
So just help me with this.
Okay, for some reason, you're involved, so be involved.
Hey, รฉtude number eight. Left or right hand?
Yo, pacey, what's your deal?
Nothing.
Look, hold that thought, okay?
I got to... Got to what?
Hey, I'm all ears.
Penny, don't be a douche. What?
I can...
Look, I hear voices.
What, psychic?
No, God, I hate that word.
Okay, mind slut?
(LAUGHS)
Come on, Penny, you're not the first I've met.
I mean, you're not even the first to get in my pants, so...
Look, I got to go somewhere, all right?
I'm obviously coming with you.
(SIGHS)
God. (INHALES SHARPLY)
Great, well, that makes me feel a whole lot less nervous.
Nut up, will you?
There's no such thing as safe magic.
You should know that, Quentin.
Might as well take a risk.
Great, well, if you put it like that...
Who are we trying to contact? It says we need a name.
Charlie.
And who's Charlie? My brother.
He died. It'd be nice to say hi.
What?
(STAMMERS) How did he die?
Horribly, I assume.
Since no one will tell me what happened.
All I know is that it happened here
at Brakebills five years ago.
Did you think that I came here because
I just love magic so much?
No.
I need an answer.
He deserves that.
So can we just concentrate?
We need to get this done by exactly midnight, okay?
Sorry. I mean...
To hear that. I mean...
Shit. No.
What? No, this is good.
This is all making sense.
Yeah. No, it is.
It's just... We can do this.
It's just we can't do this.
Oh.
Hi.
So... You got to be kidding me.
We were sent here to help these losers?
Sent?
Wait. Who sent you? No one.
Look, I gather you guys need some extra hands or something.
Yes, I can. Yes, I have.
Yes, everything you think is so boring,
I replace it with dubstep.
What's dubstep?
ALICE: lt says we need four people.
"Each one a Magical Adept."
And here they are.
Please, come sit down.
This is perfect timing.
(BUBBLING)
(CLOCK TICKING)
(SIGHS)
Well...
I'm hungry.
What? I am.
Let us know if shit gets exciting.
I guess I'll start cleaning up.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(TRAIN HORN BLOWS IN DISTANCE)
A few helpful rules. Don't demand, ask.
Safety first. Be patient.
Nobody levels up in a day.
And don't leave your purse lying around.
And this is what exactly?
This is the real world, babe.
(DOOR CLANGS OPEN)
Always pay close attention to the alloys.
Um, iron has a neutral quality,
whereas silver and gold have the effect of, uh,
magnifying the effects of other components of the alloy
and I would caution you to test for this
each time before, uh, using a knife for, uh,
ritual work because, um,
a spell can alter the metal
at a quantum level.
Die Quantenstufe?
Wer sagt, dass alle verschwinden mussen?
Wer weiss, moglicherweise, der Flug des Vogels, den Sie verletzten?
From the, uh,
famous German poet and, um, wizard.
Rilke. Und moglicherweise uberleben Blumen. (TICKING)
(TICKING)
So, for instance, um, this first device...
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
(GROWLS)
(GASPING)
(GASPING)
(CHOKING)
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(CRUNCHING)
(GRUNTS)
(COIN CLINKS)
(HEART BEAT THUDDING RAPIDLY)
Quentin Goldwater.
There you are.
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