Original subtitles

[theme song]

[all screaming]

♪ The dream wide broken ♪

♪ Seemed like all was lost ♪

♪ What would be the future? ♪

♪ Could you pay the cost? ♪

♪ You wonder ♪

♪ Will there ever be ♪

♪ A second time around? ♪

♪ Woah-a woah-a ♪

♪ When the tears are over ♪

♪ And the moment has come ♪

♪ Say my Lord ♪

♪ I think I found someone ♪

♪ You know it will be better ♪

♪ 'Cause you're putting it together ♪

♪ For the second time around ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ We got the woman and man ♪

♪ Oooh-oooh-oooh ♪

♪ We got the kids in a clan ♪

♪ Oooh-oooh-oooh ♪

♪ Only time will tell us ♪

♪ If all these dreams fit under one umbrella ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ The deeper we fall ♪

♪ The stronger we stay ♪

♪ It will be better ♪

♪ The second time around ♪

♪ Step by step ♪

♪ Day by day ♪♪ Day by day ♪

♪ A fresh start over ♪

♪ A different hand to play ♪

♪ Only time will tell ♪

♪ But you know what they say ♪

♪ We'll make it better ♪

♪ Second time around ♪♪

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

Okay, corn flakes

bran flakes and sugar flakes.

Hey, guys. Glad to have me back?

We're out of cereal.

- Oh. - Ah.

Here's some Fruit Loops.

You might need a chisel.

Hey, hey, hey.

I am gone a week

and you kids forget the rules.

Never leave a dirty dish in the sink more than four days.

It's okay.

When I go to the store today

I'll buy some more dishes.

Dad, I don't think I should go to school today.

- I have a fever. - Oh, yeah?

Hmm. Feels like a spelling test.

Come on, Al, I'll drive you to school.

I knew I should've gone with the spastic colon.

Yeah.

[clattering]

[instrumental music]

Oh, I can't eat.

I don't know if my science project

is good enough.

Mark, I doubt if the other kids in fourth grade

are doing anything on genetic research.

Well, you never know.

Some of these farm kids will surprise you.

Oh, no, I'm getting a major zit.

Where?

It's an under grounder right now

but it's coming.

Let me know when it gets here, we'll set

another place at the table.

Good morning. Where's your mother?

She's got a customer due in five minutes.

She's running late, Aunt Penny.

How can she work in her own house and be late?

- Morning, mom. - Hi!

Why didn't somebody wake me up?

It's your first morning back from vacation.

- Thought I'd let you sleep in. - I know.

But I have an early appointment. I can't be late.

Mom, you're a hair dresser, not a heart surgeon.

Get some perspective.

You know, I think a person's relationship

with her hairdresser is very important.

Of course, you do.

- Bye-bye. - 'Bye, mom.'

You're late.

- Heavy traffic? - Yes, yes.

- Hi, mom. - Oh, honey.

- You look great! - Oh, thanks.

Yeah.

How was Jamaica, honey?

Well, it-it was, you know, j-just

Jamaica.

[chuckling]

Were there a lot of gorgeous men?

Oh, there were all kinds of, uh, interesting people.

You met a man, didn't you?

Oh, you're right, mom, she's got that look.

[yowling]

What look?

[laughing]

Excuse me. Aren't you suppose to set a timer for this?

I'm timing it in my head.

[no audio]

So, what did this man look like?

I did not meet a man.

I got some sun and I did some reading.

- 'What'd you read?' - Uh--

She met a man.

I can tell she met a man.

I never meet men.

And I need a man!

Dear God, I need a man.

Hi, Penny.

[whispers] Thank you.

Hi, Frank.

I have an appointment with Carol.

Figures.

Frank, uh, would you like some coffee?

Oh, coffee would be great. Yeah, you want some help?

- Sure. - Okay.

He's going to help me get some coffee.

[exhales]

[moaning]

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Wait, there's something I have to tell you

before I kiss you again.

Okay.

I want a divorce.

A divorce?

We've only been married 36 hours.

I've had dates longer than that.

It wasn't your fault.

I mean, neither of us could've known

the other was gonna be in Jamaica.

I just don't know why I did something so impulsive.

Maybe it was the magic of the islands

or those warm moonlit nights or..

Maybe it was those big pink drinks with those

little teeny umbrellas.

For me it was that little teeny bikini.

[moaning]

Oh, Frank, I'm just afraid

that our relationship is purely sexual.

Well, we can build on that.

No, I'd have to think. I don't even know you.

Oh, Carol, you know me.

You've been cutting my hair for three months.

You convinced me to keep the grey hair.

This is like a fairy tale.

I mean, who would believe that

fate would pick up two small town people like us

who barely know each other and throw them together

on a romantic island?

[sighs]

Oh, Carol, to be perfectly honest

it wasn't entirely fate.

It was also Velma.

My travel agent?

She told me where you were going.

And where you were staying and..

...what flight you were taking. But the rest was fate.

You followed me?

Yes, and I feel guilty about that.

- That's so romantic! - And proud.

Guilty yet proud.

Frank, this is crazy.

I mean, we've gotten married

and our kids haven't even met.

So we'll introduce 'em.

What time does school get out?

No, no.

I mean, if we had dated

like normal people

then our kids could've gotten used to the idea of us

as a couple and then we could've gotten married.

Oh, I get it.

I'm with you now.

All we got is a problem with timing.

Yeah, but we've got a big problem with that.

Let's say, we don't tell anybody right away.

- You got two kids, right? - Three.

Three.. Oh, I forgot about little Mike.

- Mark. - Mark. Okay, whatever.

So, we get the kids together..

...then we date for a while.

We'll get engaged and after

an acceptable period of time

we'll get married.

Oh, Frank.

Oh, that would be so wonderful.

So, what is an acceptable period of time?

Two, three days?

[instrumental music]

[J.T.] 'I was supposed to go to Wonder World'

'with Matt and Colly.'

We're going to a barbecue

at the Foster's

and you're gonna have fun

whether you like it or not.

[doorbell rings]

Come on, come on, come on.

Well, well, well, uh, Frank Lambert.

[giggles] Long time no see.

- Oh, uh, come on in. - Yeah, kids, come on. Come on.

These are my kids, uh, Karen and Mike.

Mark.

Oh, right, Mark.

These are mine.

Al, Brendan and J.T.

Say, hi, kids.

[all] Hi.

And-and, what handsome boys you are.

[chuckles] And, ooh, ooh, ooh, you are just, oh, very cute.

[giggles]

You're very nervous, aren't you?

Uh..

Oh, and here's Dana.

[gasps] You!

Oh, my God! It's the rat boy.

Mother, this cretin put a dead rat in my locker.

The rat was alive when I put him in there.

Your gym socks must've killed him.

Hey, hey, great! You two already know each other.

I tell you what, why don't all you kids go on out back

and talk about what is obviously a pretty darn interesting story?

Come on.

[instrumental music]

Here you go, sweetheart.

[gasps] My, what a pretty necklace.

I didn't steal it.

My dad bought it to me from Jamaica.

I wanted a Voodoo doll.

Ooh, Jamaica.

So, is rare okay?

- Medium rare for me, dad. - Okay, you got it.

What do you think of Carol?

My advice is date her

but don't get involved.

I mean, you don't look half bad for an old guy.

You can do better than that bimbo.

Hey, you watch your mouth.

You don't talk about a lady that way.

She is not a bimbo.

She reads books, hardbacks.

Burgers are ready!

- He looks good sweaty. - Will you stop?

Okay, here we go.

Oh, look, mom, we're having ashes for lunch.

Why do we have to eat outside?

Every time we eat outside I end up with bugs in my teeth.

Why don't you try chewing with your mouth closed?

Why don't you try talking with your mouth closed?

Children, time to eat.

[Karen screaming]

What? What is it?

Mom, look what that midget did to my dress!

Well, what? I don't see anything.

There, she squirted ketchup all over me.

Oh, lighten up. It was an accident.

If I wanted to get it all over you, I'd have done this.

[gasps]

Stop it, you little criminal.

Hey, don't call my sister criminal, jerk-face.

[screaming]

You people are savages.

Can't you argue without throwing food?

[screaming]

Alright. People are having fun.

I bet you two wish you were back in Jamaica.

You went to Jamaica together?

No.

N-no, we-we did not go to, uh, Jamaica together.

Uh, we, we went, uh-uh, sep-separately.

Oh, God!

Oh, now I get it. That's why we're here.

You're already dating the bimbo.

You watch your mouth, young man.

She is not a bimbo.

We are not dating, we're married.

[gasping]

[instrumental music]

[pickup truck honking]

- Hi. - Hi.

My, God! Here comes the Joad family.

Mom, aren't we rushing things by letting them move in so soon?

Yeah, mom, don't you think it's a red flag

that these people can just pick up and move at a day's notice?

Well, some people are simply

unencumbered by belongings.

- Hi, honey, I'm home. - Hi.

Uh, Dana, Karen, go help.

Help? You mean like lift things?

Come on. Maybe they have a mirror.

You can look at yourself all the way upstairs.

Well, they seem to be in good spirits.

[sighs]

[Karen screams]

Mom! Mom! They brought animals!

What a wuss!

I bet every time that girl hears thunder

she wets her pants.

[piglet squealing]

Oh, Frank!

I don't think this is gonna work.

Oh, come on, honey, of course it is.

Our kids hate each other.

I'm a nervous wreck an-and to tell you the truth

we just don't like livestock all that much.

Come on, sit down. Sit down.

You see, now I take the long view.

Now a week ago, you and I were raising our kids alone.

We were sleeping alone.

Basically...we were alone.

And fate threw us together.

Well, fate and Velma.

But the point is now we're not alone anymore.

Now, there are gonna be some adjustments.

But in the long run..

...you and I are gonna be very happy.

- You know why? - Why?

Because we love each other.

Hmm.

You're right.

I worry too much.

Okay, everything's under control.

[both chuckling]

[moaning]

[Penny screaming]

There is a pig in the shop!

Hi, Frank.

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

Oh, what a great way to start the day.

I took a shower and didn't have to dry myself with my socks.

Morning, Donna.

Dana.

I'm sorry, I haven't had my cup of coffee.

It's Carol, right?

[chuckles]

- Frank. - Hm?

Normally, we have breakfast together as a family.

You do?

How?

We all get up, get dressed and come downstairs

at the same time.

Huh. That's sounds pretty neat.

Hey.

You have a nice day, Dana.

Dad, I don't feel good.

I don't think I should go to school today.

What's wrong, honey?

There's nothing wrong with her.

She does this a lot.

Well, what is it this time?

Spastic colon?

Geography test?

My stomach hurts.

Well, that's because it's empty.

Here, look, Carol made you

a nice, uh, egg thingy.

And you slap it between two pieces of toast..

It's almost as good as an Egg McMuffin.

I gotta run, honey.

Oh, we'll try that, uh, breakfast thing real soon.

Oh, you feel warm.

Look, I know what you're doing.

You're trying to act like my mother.

But you're not my mother and you never will be.

So, just don't worry about me.

Do you really have a stomach ache

or are you just trying to get out of going to school?

What difference does it make?

No one believes me anyway.

Well, I'll believe you.

It hurts.

Well, come on.

We're going to the doctor.

[instrumental music]

I don't know what I was thinkin' about, Carol.

I-if you hadn't have been there I might've sent Al off to school

and her appendix might have burst.

I wish this zit would burst.

I'm sorry your sister had to be sick.

- Thanks. - Don't ever touch me.

I sure hope your sister is gonna be okay.

Having your appendix out is no big deal.

I had mine out. See.

Mr. and Mrs. Lambert?

- Yes. - Yeah.

Alicia's out of recovery in her room now.

She's a little woozy, but she's doing just fine.

- Oh. - Oh. Thank you, doctor.

- That's great news. - She'd like to see you.

Oh.

I won't be long, honey.

Uh, she was asking for her mother.

She said that?

She called me mother?

Well, actually, she asked to see the bimbo.

But I assumed it was a pet name.

[chuckling] It's a long story.

[door closes]

[door opens]

[indistinct chattering]

Al..

The bimbo's here.

Oh, hi.

Sorry about that.

I was sleepy and I couldn't remember your name.

Well, it's understandable seeing as how we only met

three days ago.

Thanks for believing me.

Hm.

Look, I know I'm not your mother

but I'd really like to be your friend.

Why are you being so nice to me?

They found a tumor, didn't they?

[chuckles]

No, no, no.

I'd like to be your friend because that's the first step

in becoming a family.

Now, I know this is all happening very fast

but I really think this could be

a very good thing for all of us.

And you know, you and I do have something in common.

We both love your father.

Well, I am gonna be leaving home in a few years

and my dad could use someone to cook for him in his old age.

Al, if I promise to be real careful

could I give you a hug?

Well, okay.

But I should warn you, I could throw up at any moment.

I'll risk it.

[instrumental music]

Will you finish that?

Before I go to the market for this family

I've got to get organized.

Now, I've got J.T.'s frozen burritos

and Brendan likes double stuffed Oreos.

Karen wants jumbo-sized Clearasil.

Is there anything you want, Frank?

Yeah.

Frank, the kids might see this.

Well, then let's get it crossed off the list.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

[music continues]