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1
00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,811
Ah, apologies.
2
00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:45,936
Sorry, the thing is,
uh, public speaking
3
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,749
has never been my, uh...
4
00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:51,749
...my-- I can't even
think of the word.
5
00:00:51,771 --> 00:00:53,769
I, uh...
6
00:00:53,791 --> 00:00:56,790
I would pretty much do anything
to avoid public speaking.
7
00:00:56,812 --> 00:01:00,311
Like, even die.
I would die...
8
00:01:00,333 --> 00:01:01,733
rather than public speak.
9
00:01:01,833 --> 00:01:05,749
Like, if a meteor came and landed
on us right now, I'd be relieved.
10
00:01:05,771 --> 00:01:08,790
I'd be, like,
"Come to papa."
11
00:01:08,812 --> 00:01:11,019
Elijah, relax.
12
00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:12,150
It's only a
practice pitch.
13
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,832
We're all on the
same team, right?
14
00:01:13,854 --> 00:01:14,941
No pressure.
15
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:17,749
I mean, other than the Regal
Blue Condom Company's future
16
00:01:17,771 --> 00:01:19,894
and all of us
who work here.
17
00:01:19,916 --> 00:01:22,144
This pitch fails,
we all go tits up.
18
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:24,708
- And we don't want that to happen.
- Right.
19
00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:28,541
As you all know,
I'm a bit of a germaphobe.
20
00:01:29,291 --> 00:01:31,108
Raw dog?
21
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:33,458
"Nah." I say, "Nah, dog."
22
00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:38,728
And, um, and so there was this
one time that I was making love
23
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,290
to a woman from-- oh,
it doesn't matter where--
24
00:01:41,312 --> 00:01:45,103
but, uh, we were
getting it on and I--
25
00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:48,894
my testicles were becoming
adjacent to things
26
00:01:48,916 --> 00:01:50,999
I didn't want them to
become adjacent to--
27
00:01:51,021 --> 00:01:53,040
What is happening here?
What are we--
28
00:01:53,062 --> 00:01:55,686
I don't know,
but I can't look away.
29
00:01:55,708 --> 00:01:57,957
May I, uh, suggest
a change of clothes?
30
00:01:57,979 --> 00:01:59,233
Maybe a-a wet suit?
31
00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:01,894
Let Elijah finish, please.
32
00:02:01,916 --> 00:02:05,874
I relate to what you're saying because
I, myself, have often felt a man's balls
33
00:02:05,896 --> 00:02:09,686
lightly tapping me from behind
like pieces of warm dog shit
34
00:02:09,708 --> 00:02:11,290
dangling in a
plastic poo-bag.
35
00:02:11,312 --> 00:02:13,624
It's unnerving
and disgusting.
36
00:02:13,646 --> 00:02:16,103
That is unnerving.
37
00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:17,999
Sorry,
is Steve from HR here?
38
00:02:18,021 --> 00:02:21,707
I didn't invite him.
Ugh, the fun police.
39
00:02:21,729 --> 00:02:24,540
Uh, actually, I'm here.
40
00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:26,394
Oh, fuck.
41
00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:29,853
Anyways,
as you all know, um...
42
00:02:29,875 --> 00:02:35,061
m-more prophylactics are
sold during the World Cup
43
00:02:35,083 --> 00:02:37,499
than any event
on planet Earth.
44
00:02:37,521 --> 00:02:40,436
Even more than the
Valentine's Days.
45
00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:42,541
Even more than
the Olympics.
46
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,874
Raoul, that's your cue,
"More than the Olympics."
47
00:02:44,896 --> 00:02:46,561
Oh, sorry. Yeah.
48
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,332
- Uh... Yeah.
- No. Yeah.
49
00:02:48,354 --> 00:02:49,566
Oh, sh--
50
00:02:49,666 --> 00:02:51,624
Oh, my God. Please
get that away from me.
51
00:02:51,646 --> 00:02:52,566
It's alive!
52
00:02:52,666 --> 00:02:54,603
Okay, there's,
53
00:02:54,625 --> 00:02:55,941
- uh...
- T-Turn it off.
54
00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:57,150
Okay.
55
00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:58,874
I don't-- There's
a button somewhere.
56
00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:03,228
Uh, may I, uh, be excused?
57
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,124
- Not now, Jeremy.
- No, it's just I have a...
58
00:03:05,146 --> 00:03:07,624
I got a hard out at 11:30,
so...
59
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:08,900
Eleven-thirty?
60
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,316
- Yeah.
- What can't move?
61
00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:13,019
Dialysis.
62
00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:15,394
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
63
00:03:15,416 --> 00:03:17,874
I'm sorry. Yeah.
No, no problem.
64
00:03:17,896 --> 00:03:21,124
Everybody do what
they got to do.
65
00:03:21,146 --> 00:03:24,832
Anyways, um,
drumroll, please.
66
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:30,832
In order to win the
World Cup account,
67
00:03:30,854 --> 00:03:34,519
I have devised
and designed
68
00:03:34,541 --> 00:03:39,040
a condom that covers
both the penis
69
00:03:39,062 --> 00:03:41,708
and the testicles.
70
00:03:42,791 --> 00:03:44,499
I call it...
71
00:03:50,041 --> 00:03:51,957
Any time on that meteor,
God.
72
00:03:57,208 --> 00:03:59,250
The Testicle Sentinel.
73
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:03,269
Oh.
74
00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:06,416
Yeah, it kind of sells
itself, am I right?
75
00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:07,103
{\an8}For what it's worth, you
designed the shit out of that condom.
76
00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:09,749
{\an8}It's one of the most amazing products
I'll ever have the pleasure to pitch.
77
00:05:09,771 --> 00:05:11,394
{\an8} Yeah.
78
00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:14,103
{\an8}Hey, Brad, uh...
79
00:05:14,125 --> 00:05:16,103
{\an8}don't patronize me.
80
00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:21,269
{\an8}We both know that that was
supposed to be a, uh, practice run.
81
00:05:21,291 --> 00:05:23,499
{\an8}Just a test. I was
working out the kinks.
82
00:05:23,521 --> 00:05:25,916
{\an8}Oh,
it had some kink.
83
00:05:30,833 --> 00:05:32,958
What?
It's a courtesy buffet.
84
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,415
Are you humming
"We Built This City"?
85
00:05:42,437 --> 00:05:43,400
Yep.
86
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,000
I do it because I'm not good at
swallowing pills, so it's like...
87
00:05:47,916 --> 00:05:51,415
When my throat's closing up, I
just sing a little ditty and...
88
00:05:51,437 --> 00:05:54,207
it goes down, distracted.
89
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,332
Ah, that...
90
00:05:56,354 --> 00:05:57,691
Ooh.
91
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,186
You do understand that
this is my product?
92
00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:02,061
It's mine.
It came from my brain.
93
00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,441
I should be the
one showcasing it.
94
00:06:03,541 --> 00:06:05,582
Uh...
not sure if I like that.
95
00:06:05,604 --> 00:06:07,415
There's no "me" in "team."
96
00:06:07,437 --> 00:06:10,853
It's, like, half the word.
97
00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:12,191
Facts are facts.
98
00:06:12,291 --> 00:06:14,082
There is no better
designer than you, Elijah,
99
00:06:14,104 --> 00:06:15,874
but there's no better
salesman than Brad.
100
00:06:15,896 --> 00:06:18,457
So you see, put that together,
you're the perfect partners.
101
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,686
The steak...
and the sizzle.
102
00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:22,582
Yeah, no,
that's how I see Brad.
103
00:06:22,604 --> 00:06:24,144
He's all sizzle, no steak.
104
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,915
Opposites bring out
the best in each other.
105
00:06:25,937 --> 00:06:27,275
Think...
106
00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:29,644
Ben and Jerry or chocolate
and peanut butter.
107
00:06:29,666 --> 00:06:31,374
- Michael and Fredo.
- There you go.
108
00:06:31,396 --> 00:06:33,353
Okay, but which one am I?
109
00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:35,333
Oh, that's such
a Fredo question.
110
00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:39,603
Good morning,
Senhor Santos,
111
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,624
and the rest of the esteemed
Brazilian Travel Ministry.
112
00:06:42,646 --> 00:06:45,353
My name is Brad.
Brad Lewison.
113
00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:48,144
But you,
call me Brad from Sales.
114
00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:50,915
I understand you guys just
heard from Champ Condoms?
115
00:06:50,937 --> 00:06:52,275
Ooh-ee.
116
00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:54,228
Tough act to follow.
117
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:57,790
But where Regal Blue can't
match Champ in size and scale,
118
00:06:57,812 --> 00:07:02,082
they cannot match
us in paixão.
119
00:07:03,458 --> 00:07:06,082
I can only imagine,
as a man of Brazil,
120
00:07:06,104 --> 00:07:08,082
you know all
about passion.
121
00:07:08,104 --> 00:07:09,769
But sometimes
122
00:07:09,791 --> 00:07:13,061
paixão can have
unintended consequences.
123
00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:16,603
We here at Regal Blue
are all about protecting
124
00:07:16,625 --> 00:07:18,457
our most prized
possession.
125
00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:20,186
A pênis...
126
00:07:20,208 --> 00:07:23,665
is a terrible thing to
expose to unwanted risk.
127
00:07:23,687 --> 00:07:26,144
So, too, the vagina.
128
00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:30,957
But they aren't the only valuables exposed
in a vigorous session of lovemaking.
129
00:07:30,979 --> 00:07:35,290
I'm talking about the unwanted
guests at any passion party.
130
00:07:35,312 --> 00:07:37,644
Os testículos.
131
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,290
Os testículos have
long been transmitters
132
00:07:40,312 --> 00:07:43,144
and/or receivers
of unwelcome contaminants.
133
00:07:43,166 --> 00:07:45,040
They are little round
super-spreaders.
134
00:07:45,062 --> 00:07:47,040
- Until now.
- He's not wrong.
135
00:07:47,062 --> 00:07:49,124
Introducing
a condom that covers
136
00:07:49,146 --> 00:07:52,811
not only the shaft
and the head of the pênis
137
00:07:52,833 --> 00:07:57,082
but also, thanks to our patented
latex satchel technology,
138
00:07:57,104 --> 00:07:59,644
os testículos themselves.
139
00:07:59,666 --> 00:08:02,165
And the precious
genetic seed inside.
140
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,999
Why hasn't anyone
thought of this before?
141
00:08:06,021 --> 00:08:08,144
Why indeed, Senhor Santos?
142
00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:13,499
Why not allow Regal Blue to cup you
and yours at the next World Cup?
143
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,394
Impressive.
144
00:08:21,416 --> 00:08:22,650
Very impressive.
145
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,858
Truly.
146
00:08:23,958 --> 00:08:25,894
I have only one question.
147
00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:28,394
This condom,
what do you call it?
148
00:08:28,416 --> 00:08:30,541
- Great--
- The Testicle Sentinel.
149
00:08:36,708 --> 00:08:38,728
- Mm.
- I don't know.
150
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,874
Sounds a little, mm...
151
00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,853
clinical, eh?
152
00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:45,603
Not too... not too sexy.
153
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,625
Which is why that working
title was replaced with...
154
00:08:50,125 --> 00:08:52,165
...the Balls Up!
155
00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:55,608
Now we're talking.
156
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:58,665
Little bolas de futebol
right there on the condom.
157
00:08:58,687 --> 00:09:01,208
I love it.
I love it so much.
158
00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:04,525
Bom.
159
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:09,541
The official condom
of Brasil 2025 is...
160
00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:13,269
...the Balls Up!
161
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,691
♪ I wish that
I could ♪
162
00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:17,165
♪ change the weather ♪
163
00:09:17,875 --> 00:09:21,540
♪ Enjoy the sound of
silence in my car ♪
164
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:25,478
♪ You-you-you-you can
blame it on N-E-R-D ♪
165
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:29,769
♪ You-you-you-you can blame
it on a tangerine dream ♪
166
00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:34,061
♪ You-you-you-you can blame it on
a spaceman, blame it on snacky...
167
00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,957
This is gonna be an amazing
partnership, Senhor Santos.
168
00:09:36,979 --> 00:09:39,103
Please, call me Artur.
169
00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:40,483
You got it, Artie.
170
00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:43,165
Gentlemen, champagne.
171
00:09:43,187 --> 00:09:44,936
"Champagna."
172
00:09:44,958 --> 00:09:46,540
- How about a little toast?
- No, no.
173
00:09:46,562 --> 00:09:47,775
Not for me.
174
00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:50,061
So sorry, but...
175
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:51,957
nine years in March.
176
00:09:51,979 --> 00:09:53,275
You pussy.
177
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,650
I'm kidding.
178
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:56,665
Hey, you got some
catching up to do.
179
00:09:56,687 --> 00:09:57,941
Hey.
180
00:09:58,041 --> 00:09:59,191
What do you got there?
181
00:09:59,291 --> 00:10:01,353
Oh, this is an
Abigail Breslin.
182
00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:03,936
It's like a Shirley Temple
but double the grenadine.
183
00:10:03,958 --> 00:10:05,499
How about have a real
fucking cocktail, huh?
184
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,608
We're cooking now.
185
00:10:06,708 --> 00:10:08,415
Okay, I thought we
were done cooking.
186
00:10:08,437 --> 00:10:10,624
- Oh, no, I'm just getting cooking now.
- Oh.
187
00:10:10,646 --> 00:10:11,691
Yeah.
188
00:10:11,791 --> 00:10:13,978
- Please don't muck it up.
- Muck it up?
189
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,400
Were you not there
this morning?
190
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,207
I was playing hero ball.
191
00:10:17,229 --> 00:10:19,936
You two are so
good together.
192
00:10:19,958 --> 00:10:21,811
You don't see it,
but I do.
193
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:24,311
- Hey, Artie, one toast.
- No, no, please.
194
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,207
- Please, no, no.
- You know what?
195
00:10:26,229 --> 00:10:27,978
- No.
- As a tradition...
196
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,999
Look, I don't even
want you to drink.
197
00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:31,894
Just a sniff.
198
00:10:31,916 --> 00:10:34,375
To solidify the
partnership.
199
00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:36,625
Right, sure.
200
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:39,394
Just a sniff.
201
00:10:39,416 --> 00:10:41,166
To you, Artie.
202
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,875
Have a drink.
203
00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:47,999
Oh.
204
00:10:49,291 --> 00:10:50,811
Oh, that's a...
205
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:52,583
That-that's-that's
not a sniff.
206
00:11:01,291 --> 00:11:02,650
Fuck it.
207
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:05,374
Opa!
208
00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:11,083
Wow.
209
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,125
So, gentlemen.
210
00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,228
What do you know
about futebol?
211
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:20,144
Uh, uh, enough to realize
it's-it's awesome.
212
00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:22,999
The-the chants, the-the sliding
on your knees when you score.
213
00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:25,165
And that guy,
he yells "goal" forever.
214
00:11:25,187 --> 00:11:27,228
And at the end,
orange slices.
215
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:28,400
It's a good game.
216
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,582
A game? A game?
217
00:11:30,604 --> 00:11:31,983
No.
218
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,269
Futebol is science:
219
00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:37,603
mathematics,
physics, chemistry.
220
00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:39,915
But also the humanities:
221
00:11:39,937 --> 00:11:42,499
art, music, poetry.
222
00:11:42,521 --> 00:11:46,040
It is also love, family...
223
00:11:46,062 --> 00:11:48,061
community.
224
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,415
- It's a lot of things.
- I mean, what isn't it, really?
225
00:11:50,437 --> 00:11:52,207
And so perfectly simple.
226
00:11:52,229 --> 00:11:55,853
Twenty-two men, one ball
227
00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:57,458
and no hands.
228
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:00,082
Oh.
229
00:12:00,104 --> 00:12:02,165
Oh.
230
00:12:03,625 --> 00:12:06,519
Goal...!
231
00:12:06,541 --> 00:12:08,124
And this guy.
232
00:12:08,146 --> 00:12:09,811
This guy.
233
00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:11,415
We call him the enabler.
234
00:12:11,437 --> 00:12:12,936
You know what?
235
00:12:12,958 --> 00:12:16,207
I'm going to make sure you're
there at the World Cup final.
236
00:12:16,229 --> 00:12:17,483
- What?
- Both of you.
237
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:20,144
The team behind Balls Up.
238
00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:21,790
First-class travel.
239
00:12:21,812 --> 00:12:23,150
VIP seats.
240
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:24,400
Wow.
241
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,103
You've earned it.
242
00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:28,061
Thank you, Senhor Santos.
243
00:12:28,083 --> 00:12:29,874
Hey, Artie.
Let me ask you a question.
244
00:12:29,896 --> 00:12:31,790
How well do you
know el presidente?
245
00:12:31,812 --> 00:12:34,291
- Lula?
- Yeah.
246
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:37,269
We've been friends
for 40 years.
247
00:12:37,291 --> 00:12:39,957
You know, I was... I was thinking maybe
we could pitch him the Balls Up, too.
248
00:12:39,979 --> 00:12:43,083
Be the official condom of Brazil
itself. What do you think?
249
00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:46,082
- Great idea.
- Huh?
250
00:12:46,104 --> 00:12:47,769
Great idea.
251
00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:49,874
Huh? And to celebrate...
252
00:12:49,896 --> 00:12:52,457
another round or three.
253
00:12:52,479 --> 00:12:54,561
Oh.
254
00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:56,165
Maybe a round of waters.
255
00:12:56,187 --> 00:12:57,400
Stay hydrated.
256
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,019
You're gonna muck this up.
257
00:12:59,041 --> 00:13:00,624
It's a little hiccup. I'm
gonna reel him back in.
258
00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:02,541
- No, you're not.
- Yeah, I got it.
259
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:09,124
You know what I haven't
done in a muito long time?
260
00:13:09,146 --> 00:13:11,040
- Skee-Ball?
- Crack.
261
00:13:11,062 --> 00:13:12,358
Crack?
262
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,290
I still know a guy.
263
00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:31,853
♪ I just wanna feel...
264
00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:34,124
The pulse of these
speakers makes me hard
265
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:35,316
like diamonds.
266
00:13:35,416 --> 00:13:36,958
What? No.
267
00:13:38,291 --> 00:13:40,394
Hey, hey, hey,
Senhor Santos.
268
00:13:40,416 --> 00:13:42,082
I think you got
to reel it in now.
269
00:13:42,104 --> 00:13:44,144
- Check it.
- What?
270
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,290
No, no, no! Senhor Santos!
271
00:13:46,312 --> 00:13:48,624
Handle your shit, okay?
272
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:51,041
Oh, I'm handling my shit.
273
00:13:52,541 --> 00:13:54,832
Who here wants
a hot cup of c--
274
00:13:54,854 --> 00:13:57,144
Opa! Whoa!
275
00:13:57,166 --> 00:13:58,957
Oh, fuck.
276
00:13:58,979 --> 00:14:01,707
Balls Up!
277
00:14:05,791 --> 00:14:08,519
{\an8} I hired you two
to complement one another.
278
00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:10,540
{\an8}Shore up each
other's weaknesses.
279
00:14:10,562 --> 00:14:12,415
{\an8}You who plays
it too straight.
280
00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:14,061
You who plays
it too loose.
281
00:14:14,083 --> 00:14:16,290
Two imperfect employees
who might just compensate
282
00:14:16,312 --> 00:14:18,540
for each other's
fucking shortcomings!
283
00:14:18,562 --> 00:14:22,186
Um, I just want to make sure
that Steve is getting all this.
284
00:14:22,208 --> 00:14:24,499
Steve from HR?
No fucking way. Not today.
285
00:14:24,521 --> 00:14:26,124
Today it's just us.
286
00:14:26,146 --> 00:14:28,625
Um, already here.
287
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:32,269
Fucking hell.
288
00:14:32,291 --> 00:14:35,269
This is about our client,
289
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,582
who, after a decade sober,
slammed 11 shots,
290
00:14:38,604 --> 00:14:41,103
smoked a half ball
of black rock,
291
00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:42,769
pulled down
his pantalones,
292
00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:45,124
tried to put one of our
condoms over his penis...
293
00:14:45,146 --> 00:14:46,441
And testicles.
294
00:14:46,541 --> 00:14:49,290
...and jumped off a
fucking balcony buck naked.
295
00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:51,853
Balls Up!
296
00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:52,983
Wow.
297
00:14:53,083 --> 00:14:54,316
Seven million
views already?
298
00:14:54,416 --> 00:14:56,207
There's no such thing
as bad publicity.
299
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:58,394
What the fucking fuck?!
300
00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:00,332
And one of those seven
million views was the--
301
00:15:00,354 --> 00:15:03,415
and I'm not fucking with
you-- president of Brazil,
302
00:15:03,437 --> 00:15:06,207
who just this morning
promptly fired Santos.
303
00:15:06,229 --> 00:15:07,608
Oh, that's too bad.
304
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,978
- And us.
- Us?
305
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,207
Any guesses what the official
condom of the host country
306
00:15:12,229 --> 00:15:14,540
of the 2025
World Cup is now?
307
00:15:14,562 --> 00:15:17,374
It's the Champ Ultra-Thin.
308
00:15:17,396 --> 00:15:19,103
What?
309
00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:21,874
Those things don't even come
close to covering the balls.
310
00:15:21,896 --> 00:15:25,394
I can promise you this,
boss.
311
00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:27,853
- In the future, I--
- The future?
312
00:15:27,875 --> 00:15:30,019
What are you
talking about, bro?
313
00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:32,999
Do you understand? This
company's ass is grass.
314
00:15:33,021 --> 00:15:37,144
Consider this your exit interview,
which I'm now going to conduct
315
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,374
with the seriousness
of a massive shit.
316
00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:40,691
Fuck you both.
317
00:15:40,791 --> 00:15:42,999
You're fired,
effective immediately.
318
00:15:43,021 --> 00:15:44,233
Me, too?
319
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,583
You, too!
320
00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:50,436
Bosswoman Burgess
was right.
321
00:15:50,458 --> 00:15:51,608
You are a true salesman.
322
00:15:51,708 --> 00:15:54,915
That suit you're wearing--
completely empty.
323
00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:59,978
The only thing that Brad from
Sales cares about is himself.
324
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,728
What's wrong
with self-care?
325
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:03,874
Uh, if I'm not good enough for me,
I'm not good enough for anyone.
326
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,499
Who the fuck else
should I care about?
327
00:16:05,521 --> 00:16:07,499
I'll tell you, you real--
328
00:16:07,521 --> 00:16:08,691
Oh, perfect.
329
00:16:08,791 --> 00:16:11,894
You could take a note or
two from this guy Raoul.
330
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:13,233
Okay? This selfless soul.
331
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:15,811
Hey, man, is that my box?
332
00:16:15,833 --> 00:16:18,269
Bosswoman just
shitcanned me, too.
333
00:16:18,291 --> 00:16:20,811
You two jackfuckers
just sank Regal Blue.
334
00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:22,191
And my medical coverage.
335
00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:23,483
You'll bounce back.
336
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,540
If I die now,
for any reason,
337
00:16:26,562 --> 00:16:29,040
that's on you guys.
338
00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:36,019
Adios forever...
339
00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:38,457
slapper of backs,
killer of dreams.
340
00:16:38,479 --> 00:16:41,644
Hey, FYI, backslapping--
it's an art.
341
00:16:41,666 --> 00:16:44,375
You can't just slap a back
and call it backslapping.
342
00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:48,311
Wow. I want to hear your
theory on face slapping
343
00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:51,083
'cause-'cause you're about to
get slapped in the face by me.
344
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:53,582
You're gonna slap me?
345
00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:56,499
Ow!
346
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,499
Nope.
347
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:05,124
Okay, okay, okay.
348
00:17:05,146 --> 00:17:06,275
Let's...
349
00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:08,915
I could drop the box and we
could do the whole dance,
350
00:17:08,937 --> 00:17:12,853
but there is not enough
Purell in the world.
351
00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:14,875
Please.
You're the sweater.
352
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:17,811
You know, I'm gonna think of
a comeback and I'm gonna...
353
00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:18,941
I'm gonna hit you
on the way home.
354
00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:20,790
- Yeah, I'll hold my breath.
- Expect a text.
355
00:17:20,812 --> 00:17:23,165
Yeah.
356
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:27,936
♪ Nobody likes you,
nobody cares ♪
357
00:17:27,958 --> 00:17:31,769
♪ Nobody wants you,
nobody dares ♪
358
00:17:31,791 --> 00:17:35,394
♪ to extend a greeting,
a connecting glance ♪
359
00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:38,186
♪ Life is just a
jaded game to them ♪
360
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:40,583
♪ They won't give
it a chance ♪
361
00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,233
Hey.
362
00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:47,124
♪ But you know
and I know ♪
363
00:17:47,146 --> 00:17:53,625
♪ that the galaxies
are all around us ♪
364
00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:57,040
♪ And life
will flow on ♪
365
00:17:57,062 --> 00:18:01,791
♪ as long as the grass
grows and the water runs ♪
366
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:07,082
♪ And while I'm
here on Earth ♪
367
00:18:07,104 --> 00:18:10,603
♪ I'll rejoice
in its worth ♪
368
00:18:10,625 --> 00:18:13,415
♪
'Cause freedom is free ♪
369
00:18:13,437 --> 00:18:19,374
♪ There's no amount of negativity
can put a dent in me, oh ♪
370
00:18:19,396 --> 00:18:21,624
♪ Yeah...
371
00:18:24,666 --> 00:18:26,374
Holy shit.
372
00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:31,499
Oh, fuck me.
373
00:18:41,291 --> 00:18:43,186
You, uh...
374
00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:44,750
you good?
375
00:18:47,541 --> 00:18:49,644
Fantastic.
376
00:18:49,666 --> 00:18:51,582
Oh, yeah. Me, too.
377
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:54,150
Um...
378
00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,082
Yeah, actually,
couldn't be better.
379
00:18:56,104 --> 00:18:58,499
You know, crazy,
these finals tickets, huh?
380
00:18:59,750 --> 00:19:02,311
Uh, probably bureaucracy.
381
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:06,249
Someone told someone in a
department to send out the tickets.
382
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:07,608
They forgot not to.
383
00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:10,186
- Lucky us.
- Yeah, lucky us.
384
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:13,791
I mean, we were down big, now we're
up big, so we're up huge on the swing.
385
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:16,186
- The swing?
- The swing.
386
00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:18,415
The swing is when you go from down
to up instead of, like, level to up.
387
00:19:18,437 --> 00:19:20,540
It's double the distance,
so they call it the swing.
388
00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:24,624
They don't call
it the swing.
389
00:19:24,646 --> 00:19:26,025
You do.
390
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,207
And it's dumb.
391
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:50,415
Brasil! Brasil!
392
00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:04,936
What a spectacle.
393
00:20:04,958 --> 00:20:08,332
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, wherever
you're watching around the world,
394
00:20:08,354 --> 00:20:11,916
welcome along to the
World Cup final 2025.
395
00:20:12,708 --> 00:20:15,540
However bad you've had it,
I've been worse.
396
00:20:15,562 --> 00:20:17,853
Tudo bem?
397
00:20:17,875 --> 00:20:19,150
What?
398
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:20,316
"How are you?"
399
00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:23,540
- And get this, it also means "I'm fine."
- Oh, tudo bem.
400
00:20:23,562 --> 00:20:25,769
Yeah, so it's: Tudo bem?
Tudo bem.
401
00:20:25,791 --> 00:20:28,165
Just one of the gems
from Contrails magazine.
402
00:20:28,187 --> 00:20:29,791
That's funny.
Check this out.
403
00:20:33,041 --> 00:20:36,125
It's a translator app but
in the voice of Larry David.
404
00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:39,561
Tudo bem? Tudo bem.
405
00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:42,207
How are you? I'm fine.
406
00:20:42,229 --> 00:20:44,561
Isn't that awesome?
407
00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:46,250
Time to gas up then.
408
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:49,061
Time to gas up.
What is this?
409
00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:51,249
- Oh, they spelled "sales" wrong...
- I see that.
410
00:20:51,271 --> 00:20:54,790
...on the first one,
so they had to give me...
411
00:20:54,812 --> 00:20:57,144
a second one for free.
412
00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:58,874
- Nice.
- One for you and one for me.
413
00:20:58,896 --> 00:21:00,150
Very cool.
414
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:03,019
I am going to partake.
415
00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:05,333
Just first want to...
416
00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:07,025
...safeguard myself.
417
00:21:07,125 --> 00:21:12,853
Over the last 39 days, 48 international
teams have been whittled down to just two:
418
00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:16,915
the hometown heroes of Brazil and
their neighboring nemesis Argentina.
419
00:21:16,937 --> 00:21:20,915
It's been four long years, but
our agonizing wait ends tonight.
420
00:21:24,541 --> 00:21:26,625
Mmm.
421
00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:27,900
What?
422
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,915
So you have a little Brad
from Sales in you after all.
423
00:21:30,937 --> 00:21:32,150
- I guess so.
- Yeah.
424
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,144
Bad Elijah.
425
00:21:34,166 --> 00:21:36,853
He only appears
every decade or so.
426
00:21:36,875 --> 00:21:38,394
Kind of like a comet.
427
00:21:38,416 --> 00:21:40,125
You think you
know someone.
428
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,165
Ultra-Thin? Seriously?
429
00:21:43,187 --> 00:21:47,207
That is an affront to
every prophylactic ever.
430
00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:54,915
- What is this?
- Okay, it is loud!
431
00:21:54,937 --> 00:21:56,478
It hasn't even started!
432
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:59,124
The moment has finally
arrived, the World Cup final.
433
00:21:59,146 --> 00:22:03,436
Two of the sport's biggest rivals
playing off on the grandest stage.
434
00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:06,790
The first time they've ever
played in a World Cup final.
435
00:22:06,812 --> 00:22:09,811
And off we go.
436
00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:13,666
Argentina in their light blue and Brazil,
of course, in their canary yellow.
437
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:17,040
Kick that shit!
438
00:22:31,708 --> 00:22:33,333
Mmm.
439
00:22:34,458 --> 00:22:37,165
That should be our mascot.
440
00:22:37,187 --> 00:22:40,019
Not some fucking hot dog.
441
00:22:40,041 --> 00:22:43,333
It's not a hot dog. It's a
linguica, a Brazilian sausage.
442
00:22:43,916 --> 00:22:46,541
Doesn't matt--
It should be ours.
443
00:22:47,125 --> 00:22:50,582
I don't think they would've let the mascot
of the World Cup be a condom with balls.
444
00:22:50,604 --> 00:22:53,436
I want to punch that dick
right in the dick.
445
00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:55,999
Late in the first
half here, very tense.
446
00:22:56,021 --> 00:23:01,269
Still goalless, but maybe Argentina
can launch one final attack
447
00:23:01,291 --> 00:23:02,275
as they look to
take the lead.
448
00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:03,441
Well, that's a nice move.
449
00:23:03,541 --> 00:23:05,644
Now forward to Alberti.
450
00:23:05,666 --> 00:23:08,728
He's got two defenders, and he's gone
through them like a slalom skier.
451
00:23:08,750 --> 00:23:10,915
- Big chance for Argentina!
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
452
00:23:10,937 --> 00:23:14,875
Goal...!
453
00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:18,103
They scored!
It's Alberti!
454
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:19,665
An incredible finish!
455
00:23:19,687 --> 00:23:22,166
That is some bullshit!
456
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,561
Oh, my God.
457
00:23:24,583 --> 00:23:26,415
Look at this.
458
00:23:26,437 --> 00:23:28,436
Limp dick.
459
00:23:28,458 --> 00:23:30,728
Hey, linguica!
460
00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:34,457
Or should I say
"limp-guiça"?
461
00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:41,582
Brasil!
462
00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:47,478
Brasil!
463
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:49,082
We are late in the
second half here.
464
00:23:49,104 --> 00:23:50,603
Argentina still
up one-nil.
465
00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,582
They're gonna be content
now to just sit back,
466
00:23:52,604 --> 00:23:54,499
absorb the pressure
and try to gut out a win.
467
00:23:58,375 --> 00:24:00,749
Time running out for
the Seleção, though.
468
00:24:00,771 --> 00:24:03,936
The 90 minutes are up.
We are into stoppage time.
469
00:24:03,958 --> 00:24:06,290
He's got a defender coming
towards him and-- oh!
470
00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:08,707
Hello. That was
a bad challenge.
471
00:24:08,729 --> 00:24:12,125
Kill the Argentines!
472
00:24:14,541 --> 00:24:15,941
I-I get it now.
473
00:24:16,041 --> 00:24:18,750
They're-they're... they're,
like, busting our balls.
474
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,394
- Who is?
- The Champ's guys
475
00:24:21,416 --> 00:24:24,894
who put all-all the ads
and the sausage out there.
476
00:24:24,916 --> 00:24:26,978
You know, just rubbing
it in our faces.
477
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,316
What are you
talking about?
478
00:24:28,416 --> 00:24:30,165
Do you not see that?
479
00:24:30,187 --> 00:24:36,394
It looks like a huge cock out
there, laughing its ass off at us.
480
00:24:36,416 --> 00:24:39,374
All right, stop it, all right?
Sometimes a sausage is just a sausage.
481
00:24:39,396 --> 00:24:40,650
Come on.
482
00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:42,066
It's a cock!
483
00:24:42,166 --> 00:24:43,790
Oh, my God. Now you're
just being ridiculous.
484
00:24:43,812 --> 00:24:45,358
Am I?
485
00:24:45,458 --> 00:24:49,811
Wow, he's just dangling his
dick and balls in our faces.
486
00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:53,728
Jamming his member right
into Jeremy's failing kidney.
487
00:24:53,750 --> 00:24:55,790
All right, stop it, okay?
This is madness.
488
00:24:55,812 --> 00:24:58,269
If they really wanted
to send a message,
489
00:24:58,291 --> 00:25:00,332
they would've put a
condom on the mascot.
490
00:25:00,354 --> 00:25:03,978
As the clock ticks down, the
Brazilian fans can hardly watch.
491
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Look at this. Leo the Linguiça's
even putting a rally cap on his head.
492
00:25:08,916 --> 00:25:11,583
Oh, motherfucker!
493
00:25:13,083 --> 00:25:14,894
Okay.
494
00:25:14,916 --> 00:25:16,478
Okay, take-take it easy.
495
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:18,832
- He just looked right at us.
- All right, calm down.
496
00:25:18,854 --> 00:25:20,191
- Calm down.
- Shit balls.
497
00:25:20,291 --> 00:25:22,540
It doesn't matter. We're
here, we're having fun.
498
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,353
Oh,
that's an outstanding save
499
00:25:27,375 --> 00:25:28,566
- by the goalkeeper.
- Nice.
500
00:25:28,666 --> 00:25:30,394
Catlike reflexes
501
00:25:30,416 --> 00:25:32,166
in the Brazilian goal.
502
00:25:35,291 --> 00:25:37,624
Perhaps with that
goalkeeping takeout,
503
00:25:37,646 --> 00:25:40,125
Brazil can now break out.
504
00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:45,499
Hero ball.
505
00:25:50,875 --> 00:25:53,061
No! Bad Elijah!
506
00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:55,583
Here I come, sausage boy!
507
00:26:00,833 --> 00:26:02,957
Yeah, you like--
508
00:26:03,958 --> 00:26:05,916
Stop it! It's a linguica!
509
00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:10,165
Oh, you... doing the worm?
510
00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,269
Bad Elijah! Bad!
511
00:26:13,291 --> 00:26:16,999
The twinkle-toed Pereyra is weaving
his way through the Argentine defense
512
00:26:17,021 --> 00:26:19,144
like a ballerina
across the stage.
513
00:26:19,166 --> 00:26:21,707
What's this, the mascot
and two fans on the field?
514
00:26:21,729 --> 00:26:23,624
He's one-on-one
with the goalkeeper.
515
00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:26,582
The goalkeeper goes down.
516
00:26:26,604 --> 00:26:28,665
It's gonna be a goal...
No!
517
00:26:36,208 --> 00:26:37,608
O quê?
518
00:26:37,708 --> 00:26:40,332
What just happened?
This is absolute insanity.
519
00:26:40,354 --> 00:26:42,061
Extraordinary.
What on earth
520
00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:43,400
- has gone on here?
- Shit.
521
00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:45,040
Two fans have
invaded the pitch
522
00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:46,874
and prevented
Brazil from scoring
523
00:26:46,896 --> 00:26:50,103
an equalizer late on
in the World Cup final,
524
00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:52,457
in the most ridiculous
of circumstances.
525
00:26:52,479 --> 00:26:53,566
Two idiots!
526
00:26:53,666 --> 00:26:55,833
I've never seen anything
like that in my entire life.
527
00:27:03,708 --> 00:27:06,436
Now the officials have got
a big decision to make here.
528
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,728
They're gonna need some help
from upstairs with this.
529
00:27:08,750 --> 00:27:10,957
And I reckon, you know, Brazil
are gonna be out of luck.
530
00:27:10,979 --> 00:27:13,249
The rule states, when
anything on the field--
531
00:27:13,271 --> 00:27:16,832
whether it's a referee, an object,
an animal or a person-- interferes,
532
00:27:16,854 --> 00:27:19,519
and I quote here,
"Play must be restarted
533
00:27:19,541 --> 00:27:22,915
from the position of the
match ball, without penalty."
534
00:27:24,458 --> 00:27:27,415
The referee is going to
apply the letter of the law.
535
00:27:27,437 --> 00:27:29,561
Well, the Brazilians
536
00:27:29,583 --> 00:27:33,082
are absolutely cooking
about that decision.
537
00:27:33,104 --> 00:27:36,916
The entire country
of Brazil has been robbed.
538
00:27:37,708 --> 00:27:40,269
Kill the Americans!
539
00:27:40,291 --> 00:27:43,894
Uh vai morrer! Uh vai
morrer! Uh vai morrer!
540
00:27:43,916 --> 00:27:45,233
What are they saying?
541
00:27:45,333 --> 00:27:46,691
You're gonna die!
542
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:49,749
You're gonna die!
You're gonna die!
543
00:27:49,771 --> 00:27:53,603
Uh vai morrer! Uh vai
morrer! Uh vai morrer!
544
00:27:53,625 --> 00:27:56,019
You're gonna die!
You're gonna die!
545
00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:58,457
- I think he's just talking about you.
- Die, die, die!
546
00:27:58,479 --> 00:28:01,207
Uh vai morrer! Uh vai
morrer! Uh vai morrer!
547
00:28:01,229 --> 00:28:03,228
Calm down!
548
00:28:03,250 --> 00:28:05,228
It's only a game!
549
00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:06,441
Uh vai morrer!
550
00:28:06,541 --> 00:28:07,858
And there it is.
551
00:28:07,958 --> 00:28:12,749
Argentina are the world champions
in the most improbable finish ever.
552
00:28:17,750 --> 00:28:20,250
Oh, no.
553
00:28:21,583 --> 00:28:24,791
Oh, holy shit.
554
00:28:29,166 --> 00:28:31,916
Oh, man.
555
00:28:35,041 --> 00:28:37,041
Are we in hell?
556
00:28:38,375 --> 00:28:40,186
Not far from.
557
00:28:40,208 --> 00:28:42,290
This is all your fault,
running onto that field.
558
00:28:42,312 --> 00:28:45,499
Please, we would still have
our jobs if it weren't for you.
559
00:28:45,521 --> 00:28:48,228
That should be
our condom mascot.
560
00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:49,525
It wasn't a condom mascot.
561
00:28:49,625 --> 00:28:53,458
How many fucking times do I have
to tell you, it was a linguica!
562
00:28:54,458 --> 00:28:55,858
Okay.
563
00:28:55,958 --> 00:28:57,478
Okay, don't panic.
564
00:28:57,500 --> 00:29:00,165
Oh, I'm not.
That was midnight to 3:00.
565
00:29:00,187 --> 00:29:03,082
There you go,
thinking only of yourself.
566
00:29:03,104 --> 00:29:04,999
I was talking to me.
567
00:29:05,021 --> 00:29:06,400
Bom dia.
568
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,332
Bom dia. Obrigado.
569
00:29:18,333 --> 00:29:20,811
Obrigado. Bom dia.
570
00:29:20,833 --> 00:29:22,233
- Bom dia.
- Bom dia.
571
00:29:22,333 --> 00:29:23,358
- Good morning.
- Hi.
572
00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:25,144
Antonia Costa.
573
00:29:25,166 --> 00:29:27,124
The best public defender
in all of Brazil.
574
00:29:28,541 --> 00:29:30,874
That's what Veja magazine
will call me when I win this,
575
00:29:30,896 --> 00:29:33,394
the "Trial of
the Century."
576
00:29:33,416 --> 00:29:34,936
I've never lost a case.
577
00:29:34,958 --> 00:29:38,083
Of course, I've never won a
case, but still, undefeated.
578
00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:40,832
W--
This is your first case?
579
00:29:40,854 --> 00:29:42,519
This is my first day!
580
00:29:42,541 --> 00:29:44,978
You know, the new girl
drew the short straw.
581
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,665
Shit flows downhill,
so I'm here.
582
00:29:46,687 --> 00:29:50,144
Shit? What... what-what
are we in that metaphor?
583
00:29:50,166 --> 00:29:53,749
I can't believe you're going
to represent these animals.
584
00:29:53,771 --> 00:29:56,249
You would do this
to your own country?
585
00:29:56,271 --> 00:29:57,358
Pardon me, sir,
586
00:29:57,458 --> 00:29:59,000
but you shouldn't be
listening to this.
587
00:29:59,916 --> 00:30:02,207
So let's just tap into that
youthful enthusiasm, huh?
588
00:30:02,229 --> 00:30:04,333
What-what's your plan?
589
00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:09,165
Okay, so here's
what we're gonna do.
590
00:30:09,187 --> 00:30:12,478
- If I may, I was prelaw at Penn.
- State.
591
00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:14,728
P-- State. Penn State.
You didn't let me finish.
592
00:30:14,750 --> 00:30:16,707
My mother thought that I
was going to be an attorney.
593
00:30:16,729 --> 00:30:18,832
Ever the contrarian,
I'm not.
594
00:30:18,854 --> 00:30:20,233
But I do recall
595
00:30:20,333 --> 00:30:26,311
a certain U.S. v.
Humberto Alvarez-Machain.
596
00:30:26,333 --> 00:30:29,228
Oh, and I think I recall a
certain, uh, Judge Joe Brown case
597
00:30:29,250 --> 00:30:31,082
- "Shrimpin' Ain't Easy." So what?
- Excuse me.
598
00:30:31,104 --> 00:30:33,624
Just two minutes alone
with them, please.
599
00:30:33,646 --> 00:30:36,083
Can you just...
600
00:30:36,208 --> 00:30:38,374
We're getting the death
sentence, aren't we?
601
00:30:38,396 --> 00:30:39,441
Yes.
602
00:30:39,541 --> 00:30:41,353
After we torture you.
603
00:30:41,375 --> 00:30:43,561
Again, why-why does
he keep butting in?
604
00:30:43,583 --> 00:30:46,207
No one asked for your
opinion, von Frankenstein.
605
00:30:46,229 --> 00:30:48,165
Look, forget about him.
606
00:30:48,187 --> 00:30:49,853
I took the oath:
607
00:30:49,875 --> 00:30:53,040
"I am the light that dispels
the darkness of injustice."
608
00:30:53,062 --> 00:30:54,811
No matter the
terrible cost.
609
00:30:54,833 --> 00:30:57,749
"No matter the te--" What te--
I'm sorry, what terrible cost?
610
00:30:57,771 --> 00:30:59,332
You're-you're a
public defender.
611
00:30:59,354 --> 00:31:01,811
Uh, yeah, but still,
after this,
612
00:31:01,833 --> 00:31:04,832
for sure I'll never be able
to walk down the street again.
613
00:31:04,854 --> 00:31:07,353
Shop for groceries,
use a public restroom.
614
00:31:07,375 --> 00:31:09,332
My mother will be
ostracized at church.
615
00:31:09,354 --> 00:31:11,374
My brothers will be
bullied at school.
616
00:31:11,396 --> 00:31:13,332
- Yikes.
- But that doesn't matter.
617
00:31:13,354 --> 00:31:16,624
I have a good plan to
get you guys out of here.
618
00:31:16,646 --> 00:31:18,833
Hold it right there.
619
00:31:19,500 --> 00:31:22,936
Consider this your exit
interview, Antonia Costas.
620
00:31:22,958 --> 00:31:23,983
Wait, what are you doing?
621
00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:26,624
Thinking of someone
other than myself.
622
00:31:26,646 --> 00:31:29,040
You and I have hurt
too many people.
623
00:31:29,062 --> 00:31:30,025
You're fired!
624
00:31:30,125 --> 00:31:31,400
- What? No.
- No.
625
00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:34,019
Go. Go and buy
your groceries,
626
00:31:34,041 --> 00:31:36,332
and use a public restroom,
if you have to.
627
00:31:36,354 --> 00:31:39,228
If-- maybe line the
toilet seat with paper.
628
00:31:39,250 --> 00:31:40,525
You're misunderstanding
everything.
629
00:31:40,625 --> 00:31:42,025
Just go.
630
00:31:42,125 --> 00:31:43,316
We'll figure it out.
631
00:31:43,416 --> 00:31:45,707
No chance
they're figuring it out.
632
00:31:45,729 --> 00:31:46,691
Uh, excuse me.
633
00:31:46,791 --> 00:31:49,290
I'm their lawyer, I have the
right to speak to them in private,
634
00:31:49,312 --> 00:31:51,040
so if you could just
step out, please.
635
00:31:51,062 --> 00:31:53,290
You're not their lawyer.
They just fired you.
636
00:31:53,312 --> 00:31:55,332
'Cause they haven't
heard my plan yet.
637
00:31:55,354 --> 00:31:57,275
Get out. Out!
638
00:31:57,375 --> 00:31:58,978
Guys, guys, unfire me.
639
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,108
Can I just
leave my number?
640
00:32:00,208 --> 00:32:03,186
Guys, you're not understanding
the gravity of this situation.
641
00:32:03,208 --> 00:32:05,124
Nice move, shit-brains-- you
just fired our only hope.
642
00:32:05,146 --> 00:32:06,769
I'm not going to ruin
that girl's life.
643
00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:09,165
Yeah, and someday you're going to learn
that no good deed goes unpunished.
644
00:32:09,187 --> 00:32:10,441
I'll take it from here.
645
00:32:10,541 --> 00:32:13,249
Senhor DeBell,
Senhor Lewison...
646
00:32:13,271 --> 00:32:15,165
The Stupids.
647
00:32:35,541 --> 00:32:37,208
Now it's up to you, sir.
648
00:32:38,666 --> 00:32:41,061
Brad. Elijah.
649
00:32:41,083 --> 00:32:43,165
We know, "Os Estúpidos."
650
00:32:43,187 --> 00:32:44,936
Ah, no, no.
651
00:32:44,958 --> 00:32:47,269
Pay no attention to
such vulgarities.
652
00:32:47,291 --> 00:32:49,790
I am Jessel Cristos,
Minister of Defense.
653
00:32:49,812 --> 00:32:52,040
The Minister of Defense?
654
00:32:52,062 --> 00:32:53,644
Jesus Christ.
655
00:32:53,666 --> 00:32:55,582
I came straight
from my jog.
656
00:32:55,604 --> 00:32:59,790
My business, my mission, is the
security of our great country
657
00:32:59,812 --> 00:33:01,191
and everyone in it.
658
00:33:01,291 --> 00:33:04,311
Which is why I came
in early this morning,
659
00:33:04,333 --> 00:33:06,582
to ensure nothing
unjust happens to you.
660
00:33:06,604 --> 00:33:08,125
Oh, yeah.
661
00:33:10,083 --> 00:33:12,233
Please.
662
00:33:12,333 --> 00:33:14,458
Very kind of you.
663
00:33:24,791 --> 00:33:26,811
Come in, guys.
664
00:33:26,833 --> 00:33:29,811
You're Americans.
I must ask you,
665
00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:34,916
do you understand how much hatred we
have for our futebol rivals to the south?
666
00:33:36,208 --> 00:33:38,686
My kid...
667
00:33:38,708 --> 00:33:41,457
started to root
for Argentina.
668
00:33:41,479 --> 00:33:43,519
Little rebellion.
669
00:33:43,541 --> 00:33:45,728
We haven't spoken since.
670
00:33:45,750 --> 00:33:47,874
Well, teenagers can
be very difficult.
671
00:33:47,896 --> 00:33:49,875
The child was only nine.
672
00:33:51,041 --> 00:33:53,186
Look, it was Elijah
who ran onto that field.
673
00:33:53,208 --> 00:33:54,358
- Oh...
- The pitch, the pitch.
674
00:33:54,458 --> 00:33:55,733
He ran on the
fucking pitch.
675
00:33:55,833 --> 00:33:57,108
- Selfish.
- I told him to stop. He was drunk.
676
00:33:57,208 --> 00:33:58,894
Shut the fuck up!
677
00:33:58,916 --> 00:34:00,833
Enough of your nonsense!
678
00:34:06,625 --> 00:34:08,291
The fear in your eyes.
679
00:34:10,291 --> 00:34:15,728
You must think I'm some sort
of corrupt, tin-pot martinet,
680
00:34:15,750 --> 00:34:20,750
capable of committing whimsical
violence with total impunity.
681
00:34:22,208 --> 00:34:24,478
I'm sorry. Yeah.
682
00:34:24,500 --> 00:34:29,644
Contrary to your ugly
culturalist misconceptions,
683
00:34:29,666 --> 00:34:32,269
I'm not going to
chop off your hand
684
00:34:32,291 --> 00:34:34,374
or throw you in
some dungeon.
685
00:34:34,396 --> 00:34:35,733
Or consider Venmo?
686
00:34:35,833 --> 00:34:38,000
Or accept some
paltry bribe.
687
00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:43,290
What I am going
to do instead...
688
00:34:43,312 --> 00:34:44,832
is let you go.
689
00:34:44,854 --> 00:34:47,082
You're gonna...
690
00:34:50,833 --> 00:34:52,541
Here.
691
00:34:54,125 --> 00:34:56,186
Door's unlocked.
692
00:34:56,208 --> 00:34:57,978
Same elevator you rode up.
693
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,644
Go down to the lobby, then go straight,
double doors right to the street.
694
00:35:02,666 --> 00:35:04,415
Really?
I cannot thank you enough.
695
00:35:04,437 --> 00:35:06,915
You are so kind
and compassionate.
696
00:35:06,937 --> 00:35:08,999
Thank you.
697
00:35:10,083 --> 00:35:12,561
I did not expect him
to be that nice.
698
00:35:12,583 --> 00:35:14,957
He really was like Jesus,
very forgiving.
699
00:35:14,979 --> 00:35:16,358
Forgiving?
700
00:35:16,458 --> 00:35:19,290
Are you kidding me? Do you
not see what just happened?
701
00:35:19,312 --> 00:35:21,811
He is throwing
us to the wolves.
702
00:35:21,833 --> 00:35:25,519
What we needed was some sort
of, like, police escort.
703
00:35:25,541 --> 00:35:28,249
You know, armed guards
taking us to a flight.
704
00:35:28,271 --> 00:35:31,478
What we got was
the streets.
705
00:35:31,500 --> 00:35:33,311
- Holy shit.
- The streets of Brazil.
706
00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:35,394
You're right, and they're
gonna recognize us.
707
00:35:35,416 --> 00:35:37,374
I don't have one of those
everyday faces like you.
708
00:35:37,396 --> 00:35:39,124
No,
not in Brazil you don't.
709
00:35:39,146 --> 00:35:42,019
Okay. All right, you know
what, don't freak out.
710
00:35:42,041 --> 00:35:43,999
Crowds are like dogs--
they smell fear,
711
00:35:44,021 --> 00:35:46,332
- so you got to relax, act natural.
- Mm-hmm.
712
00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:49,353
Just smile,
nod and tudo bem.
713
00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:50,483
- Okay?
- Tudo bem.
714
00:35:50,583 --> 00:35:51,566
- Keep it on the low.
- Yeah.
715
00:35:51,666 --> 00:35:53,749
Come on.
716
00:35:54,291 --> 00:35:56,832
Oh, shit. Oh, God.
717
00:35:56,854 --> 00:35:59,332
Come on.
718
00:36:00,291 --> 00:36:03,207
I don't know how long I
can keep this smile going.
719
00:36:03,229 --> 00:36:05,790
Will you fucking come on.
720
00:36:05,812 --> 00:36:07,150
Oh, my God.
721
00:36:07,250 --> 00:36:09,650
- Sorry.
- Everybody's looking at us.
722
00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:11,478
Oh, God.
723
00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:13,144
Where are we even going?
724
00:36:13,166 --> 00:36:15,249
- I don't know.
- Oh, that's reassuring.
725
00:36:15,271 --> 00:36:16,608
Oh, my God.
726
00:36:16,708 --> 00:36:18,269
Shit, my phone.
727
00:36:18,291 --> 00:36:20,061
- Let it go.
- What?
728
00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:21,769
I still have 18
months of payments.
729
00:36:21,791 --> 00:36:23,353
- You didn't buy it outright?
- No.
730
00:36:23,375 --> 00:36:25,915
I spread it out, okay? Sounded
like a good decision at the time.
731
00:36:25,937 --> 00:36:27,790
Oh, I think that's
how they get you.
732
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,999
The Stupids!
733
00:36:36,021 --> 00:36:38,290
Americanos.
734
00:36:38,875 --> 00:36:41,207
Oh, shit.
735
00:36:42,375 --> 00:36:44,458
Go!
736
00:36:46,583 --> 00:36:47,775
Oh, God.
737
00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:50,125
Fuck.
738
00:36:52,041 --> 00:36:54,375
Come on.
739
00:36:59,333 --> 00:37:00,691
They're still coming.
740
00:37:00,791 --> 00:37:02,108
"They" who?
741
00:37:02,208 --> 00:37:03,999
"They" Brazil.
742
00:37:05,875 --> 00:37:07,025
Get in!
743
00:37:07,125 --> 00:37:08,441
Senhor Santos,
what are you doing?
744
00:37:08,541 --> 00:37:10,457
Handling my shit.
745
00:37:35,666 --> 00:37:37,290
You look amazing, Artie.
746
00:37:37,312 --> 00:37:41,957
I went on a two-month bender,
but now I'm 23 days sober.
747
00:37:41,979 --> 00:37:43,519
I must thank you.
748
00:37:43,541 --> 00:37:45,499
You two gave me quite
the wake-up call.
749
00:37:45,521 --> 00:37:46,525
Huh.
750
00:37:46,625 --> 00:37:48,561
Thank God
everything's okay.
751
00:37:48,583 --> 00:37:50,624
I mean, sure,
my wife left me.
752
00:37:50,646 --> 00:37:53,665
The courts took away
my house and my kids.
753
00:37:53,687 --> 00:37:55,540
I lost my job, my pension.
754
00:37:55,562 --> 00:37:57,394
My dignity.
755
00:37:57,416 --> 00:37:59,582
And that's not even getting
into my withdrawal symptoms.
756
00:37:59,604 --> 00:38:03,978
It's not the bugs on my skin.
It's the bugs under my skin.
757
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,707
Why are you here? Why-why
are you doing this for us?
758
00:38:06,729 --> 00:38:08,644
The 12 Steps of Recovery.
759
00:38:08,666 --> 00:38:09,941
This is number nine.
760
00:38:10,041 --> 00:38:11,832
- Aiding and abetting?
- Amends.
761
00:38:11,854 --> 00:38:13,375
So what's the plan?
762
00:38:15,166 --> 00:38:16,894
Don't look at me.
763
00:38:16,916 --> 00:38:19,394
I've been in a pretty bad
brain fog lately.
764
00:38:19,416 --> 00:38:23,165
Did I mention that they had to shock my
prefrontal cortex to stem the addiction?
765
00:38:23,187 --> 00:38:26,208
So...
awaiting your thoughts.
766
00:38:27,750 --> 00:38:30,040
Look, Artie, you've been friends
with el presidente forever.
767
00:38:30,062 --> 00:38:31,191
Can't you guys
just make up?
768
00:38:31,291 --> 00:38:35,394
Oh, no, no, no, he's the most
Brazilian person in Brazil.
769
00:38:35,416 --> 00:38:37,165
Well, who the fuck in
Brazil isn't Brazilian?
770
00:38:37,187 --> 00:38:40,750
Oh! The U. S. Consulate.
771
00:38:41,666 --> 00:38:43,540
- Genius.
- Diplomatic immunity.
772
00:38:43,562 --> 00:38:45,540
Hold on to your hats.
773
00:38:48,333 --> 00:38:49,691
Shit.
774
00:38:49,791 --> 00:38:50,941
Ow.
775
00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:53,374
Learn how to drive,
asshole.
776
00:38:55,541 --> 00:38:57,124
Or don't learn.
You're good.
777
00:38:57,146 --> 00:38:59,207
No, you're fine.
778
00:39:01,583 --> 00:39:03,708
Fuck.
779
00:39:04,916 --> 00:39:05,900
Hola.
780
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,332
Uh, c-could you point us
to the ambassador, please?
781
00:39:08,354 --> 00:39:10,332
I don't think he
speaks English.
782
00:39:10,354 --> 00:39:11,525
Let me handle it.
783
00:39:11,625 --> 00:39:13,416
Uh, tudo bem?
784
00:39:46,208 --> 00:39:48,125
Gentlemen...
785
00:39:50,375 --> 00:39:53,458
...I'm going to ask
you a simple question.
786
00:39:58,083 --> 00:40:00,894
If you get it wrong...
787
00:40:00,916 --> 00:40:04,457
I'm going to blow
your head off.
788
00:40:07,458 --> 00:40:09,375
Here's the question.
789
00:40:24,333 --> 00:40:29,541
Is the answer
yaysh or naow?
790
00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:36,228
Uh, uh, I'm-I'm-I'm sorry, I wasn't
completely able to understand.
791
00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:39,165
Uh, uh, could you, could you
repeat the question, please?
792
00:40:52,041 --> 00:40:56,833
So is the answer
yaysh or naow?
793
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,978
Uh...
794
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,165
D-Did you say "regout"?
795
00:41:05,187 --> 00:41:07,103
What?
796
00:41:07,125 --> 00:41:08,832
What is "regout"?
797
00:41:08,854 --> 00:41:10,811
Bregout.
798
00:41:10,833 --> 00:41:13,333
The English
word "bregout."
799
00:41:14,666 --> 00:41:17,375
Could... could you
use it in a sentence?
800
00:41:23,916 --> 00:41:25,875
It is very bregout.
801
00:41:28,958 --> 00:41:31,624
So what's the answer?
802
00:41:31,646 --> 00:41:35,625
Yaysh or naow? You first.
803
00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:40,811
Um...
I-I'm going to say yaysh.
804
00:41:40,833 --> 00:41:42,875
What... what is yaysh?
805
00:41:43,958 --> 00:41:46,269
You said--
806
00:41:46,291 --> 00:41:47,874
I-- I'm sorry.
807
00:41:47,896 --> 00:41:52,999
I thought you said
"yaysh or naow," and...
808
00:41:53,021 --> 00:41:53,983
Hmm.
809
00:41:54,083 --> 00:41:56,208
I-I'm gonna go naow.
810
00:41:57,708 --> 00:42:00,915
You chose to answer
different from your friend.
811
00:42:00,937 --> 00:42:03,833
That means one of you...
812
00:42:04,958 --> 00:42:06,833
...is gonna die.
813
00:42:07,583 --> 00:42:09,540
Because...
814
00:42:09,562 --> 00:42:13,041
I am...
815
00:42:14,875 --> 00:42:16,707
...fucking with you!
816
00:42:19,541 --> 00:42:22,769
You think I speak like
that, "yaysh or naow"?
817
00:42:22,791 --> 00:42:25,915
I learned really good English
at University of Mississippi.
818
00:42:25,937 --> 00:42:28,207
- Oh, go Rebels.
- Oh, Rebels.
819
00:42:28,229 --> 00:42:29,566
Ole Miss, yeah.
820
00:42:29,666 --> 00:42:32,978
I think the big alumnus
from there is, uh...
821
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,853
- ...Peyton Manning, right?
- Eli.
822
00:42:34,875 --> 00:42:37,540
Oh, you know Eli? Yeah,
my brother-in-law met him
823
00:42:37,562 --> 00:42:39,374
a couple times,
didn't get along.
824
00:42:39,396 --> 00:42:42,332
Yeah, yeah, I heard, I
heard Eli's a little tricky.
825
00:42:42,354 --> 00:42:43,691
Fuck that guy.
826
00:42:43,791 --> 00:42:46,915
- Bradley. Elijah.
- Yeah, Brad.
827
00:42:46,937 --> 00:42:50,519
I am Pavio Curto Bundchen.
828
00:42:50,541 --> 00:42:55,853
And these 300 square miles
of jungle is my home.
829
00:42:55,875 --> 00:42:58,436
Three hundred miles.
How long was I out?
830
00:42:58,458 --> 00:43:01,040
Half a day. You're gonna need
an MRI if we ever get home.
831
00:43:01,062 --> 00:43:04,311
You see, uh, this house,
this cartel,
832
00:43:04,333 --> 00:43:08,457
this whole country-- there is nothing
in Brazil that I could not have.
833
00:43:08,479 --> 00:43:09,650
Including you two.
834
00:43:09,750 --> 00:43:15,228
If I wanted, I could shoot
three bullets in your dicks,
835
00:43:15,250 --> 00:43:20,394
take a machete, pull them out,
load them back into my gun
836
00:43:20,416 --> 00:43:22,416
and shoot them
in your brains.
837
00:43:23,083 --> 00:43:25,936
If I had one request, just
make mine brain, then dick.
838
00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:28,082
I mean, once you've hit brain,
you can go to town on dick.
839
00:43:28,104 --> 00:43:29,191
Okay.
840
00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:31,375
I'm gonna go dick first.
841
00:43:32,458 --> 00:43:35,124
I mean, it's not great, but
at least I won't be dead.
842
00:43:35,146 --> 00:43:38,333
No brains or dicks today.
843
00:43:39,375 --> 00:43:41,832
You may be wondering why
I "kitchsnapped" you.
844
00:43:41,854 --> 00:43:43,436
Yeah.
845
00:43:43,458 --> 00:43:45,582
Elijah, I'm sure he's got
his reasons. Read the room.
846
00:43:45,604 --> 00:43:47,103
Speaking of rooms,
this is beautiful.
847
00:43:47,125 --> 00:43:49,415
- I mean, the whole place is just stunning.
- Natural light.
848
00:43:49,437 --> 00:43:51,332
You should've seen
this place before.
849
00:43:51,354 --> 00:43:52,894
It was a shithole--
850
00:43:52,916 --> 00:43:55,853
rainforest as far
as the eye could see
851
00:43:55,875 --> 00:43:58,915
with indigenous people
shitting on the floor.
852
00:43:58,937 --> 00:44:01,124
So I drove them out,
853
00:44:01,146 --> 00:44:04,228
I burned down
100,000 acres,
854
00:44:04,250 --> 00:44:07,290
I put in a pool,
a pickleball court,
855
00:44:07,312 --> 00:44:10,708
and-- how you call it--
a mass gravy?
856
00:44:11,291 --> 00:44:14,124
Mass grave. Yeah,
that's what we call it.
857
00:44:14,146 --> 00:44:18,124
♪ Here comes that rainy
day feeling again ♪
858
00:44:18,146 --> 00:44:19,483
Is it too warm?
859
00:44:19,583 --> 00:44:22,228
Is it...? No.
No, I'm fine.
860
00:44:22,250 --> 00:44:24,125
No, no, no,
you're sweating.
861
00:44:25,541 --> 00:44:27,541
I'm such a terrible host.
862
00:44:28,416 --> 00:44:31,207
We had the problem with the
AC, so I asked Nando over here
863
00:44:31,229 --> 00:44:32,275
- to fix it.
- Hmm?
864
00:44:32,375 --> 00:44:36,249
But I guess he didn't really
manage to complete the job.
865
00:44:40,125 --> 00:44:42,191
Forgive me.
866
00:44:42,291 --> 00:44:44,125
Undercover polícia.
867
00:44:45,083 --> 00:44:48,519
At least he was giving off that
vibe for the last few years.
868
00:44:48,541 --> 00:44:52,540
Although, to be fair, I have sometimes
confused the undercover polícia vibe
869
00:44:52,562 --> 00:44:55,144
for the holding
in a poo vibe
870
00:44:55,166 --> 00:44:57,208
because it's a
very similar face.
871
00:44:58,666 --> 00:44:59,733
Take him away.
872
00:44:59,833 --> 00:45:01,108
The mass grave?
873
00:45:01,208 --> 00:45:04,208
No, lazy river.
Of course the mass grave!
874
00:45:07,333 --> 00:45:12,144
Let-let me be the one to-to
start, um, a three-part apology.
875
00:45:12,166 --> 00:45:15,249
We-we... never would've
done what we did
876
00:45:15,271 --> 00:45:19,978
had we known how much you
guys care about futebol.
877
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,290
You think I care
about futebol?
878
00:45:22,312 --> 00:45:26,458
I don't give 15
shits about futebol.
879
00:45:27,208 --> 00:45:29,353
In fact, I hate it.
880
00:45:29,375 --> 00:45:31,394
It's a stupid game.
881
00:45:31,416 --> 00:45:35,249
Have you ever walked into a bar
and seen a goal scored live?
882
00:45:35,271 --> 00:45:37,165
It's always a highlight.
883
00:45:37,187 --> 00:45:40,478
That's how rare these
fucking goals are.
884
00:45:40,500 --> 00:45:43,624
And don't get me started
about the flopping.
885
00:45:43,646 --> 00:45:49,290
Grown men making delicate nudges look
like they've been shot with a bazooka.
886
00:45:49,312 --> 00:45:51,582
Finally someone
who gets it.
887
00:45:51,604 --> 00:45:53,707
But here's the problem.
888
00:45:53,729 --> 00:45:57,499
However much
I hate futebol
889
00:45:57,521 --> 00:46:03,853
is equal to how
much I love money.
890
00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:05,978
I'm not materialistic.
891
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:10,040
I don't love money. I just
love the things that it can buy
892
00:46:10,062 --> 00:46:13,394
- and the way you can control people.
- Yeah.
893
00:46:13,416 --> 00:46:15,957
Which is why, even
though I hate futebol,
894
00:46:15,979 --> 00:46:22,083
I put a little, big, huge
bet on the World Cup final.
895
00:46:23,375 --> 00:46:28,041
Um, um, how much money did
you-- we cause you to lose?
896
00:46:29,416 --> 00:46:31,708
How much did I lose?
897
00:46:32,875 --> 00:46:34,874
I fucking won!
898
00:46:34,896 --> 00:46:37,311
I bet the under!
899
00:46:37,333 --> 00:46:41,644
Brazil's shot goes in, I would've
been 30 million reais down.
900
00:46:41,666 --> 00:46:43,207
Instead,
I'm 30 million up.
901
00:46:43,229 --> 00:46:46,269
That's 60 million
reais on the swing.
902
00:46:46,291 --> 00:46:47,566
- The swing.
- The swing is,
903
00:46:47,666 --> 00:46:50,728
how do you explain it, when
you go from the down to the up.
904
00:46:50,750 --> 00:46:52,686
No, no, I know. He
thinks the swing is dumb.
905
00:46:52,708 --> 00:46:54,332
I'm-I'm coming around
on the swing now.
906
00:46:54,354 --> 00:46:55,566
I-- The swing has swung.
907
00:46:55,666 --> 00:46:57,749
The swing is so
big this time,
908
00:46:57,771 --> 00:47:03,144
all thanks to you
two motherfuckers.
909
00:47:03,166 --> 00:47:04,316
So glad we could help.
910
00:47:04,416 --> 00:47:08,353
Um, uh, what-what, uh,
Senhor Pavio Curto, um...
911
00:47:08,375 --> 00:47:09,650
Please-please-please,
call me Curt.
912
00:47:09,750 --> 00:47:11,644
- Curt?
- Curt.
913
00:47:11,666 --> 00:47:15,499
Curt, um, just so I understand,
you kidnapped us to...?
914
00:47:15,521 --> 00:47:17,165
To party!
915
00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:24,582
♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida,
honey ♪
916
00:47:26,083 --> 00:47:29,561
♪ Don't you know that
I'm loving you? ♪
917
00:47:29,583 --> 00:47:31,999
♪ In-a-gadda-da-vida,
baby...
918
00:47:32,021 --> 00:47:33,108
So, anyone?
919
00:47:33,208 --> 00:47:36,124
Anyone. Just say their
name and I kill them.
920
00:47:36,146 --> 00:47:38,353
My gift to you, gordinho.
921
00:47:38,375 --> 00:47:40,749
Oh, gosh, I got to
think about that. Um...
922
00:47:40,771 --> 00:47:42,665
Oh, Bosswoman Burgess,
uh...
923
00:47:42,687 --> 00:47:43,941
Wait, my doctor.
924
00:47:44,041 --> 00:47:45,275
- Your doctor?
- Yeah.
925
00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:47,374
- What a judgmental prick this guy is.
- Hmm.
926
00:47:47,396 --> 00:47:48,358
So Doctor who?
927
00:47:48,458 --> 00:47:50,353
No, do not take this down.
928
00:47:50,375 --> 00:47:54,708
This is-- I'm just reading the
menu aloud. I'm not ordering.
929
00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:58,540
- Anyone else?
- Brad!
930
00:47:58,562 --> 00:48:00,269
Brad.
931
00:48:00,291 --> 00:48:01,650
Hey.
932
00:48:01,750 --> 00:48:04,894
How nice of Curt to let us
shower, loan us these cool duds.
933
00:48:04,916 --> 00:48:07,750
- Look at this shit.
- Yeah, that's great, man. Look at the TV.
934
00:48:11,083 --> 00:48:14,519
{\an8}In unusual but
unsurprising news,
935
00:48:14,541 --> 00:48:17,832
{\an8}two Americans running
amok in another country.
936
00:48:17,854 --> 00:48:20,686
{\an8}Brad Lewison
and Elijah DeBell,
937
00:48:20,708 --> 00:48:25,561
{\an8}former employees of the now
defunct Regal Blue Condom Company.
938
00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:27,499
{\an8}Oh, I couldn't
believe it when I saw it.
939
00:48:27,521 --> 00:48:28,525
Are you kidding me?
940
00:48:28,625 --> 00:48:31,540
{\an8}I mean, Brad, yes, of course,
it was just a matter of time.
941
00:48:31,562 --> 00:48:34,019
{\an8}But Elijah,
now, that...
942
00:48:34,041 --> 00:48:36,207
{\an8}- I don't want to watch this shit.
- ...was really out of character for him.
943
00:48:36,229 --> 00:48:39,540
...have an opinion on what's
been dubbed the Fiasco in Rio.
944
00:48:39,562 --> 00:48:41,561
Frankly...
945
00:48:41,583 --> 00:48:43,103
I-I'm embarrassed.
946
00:48:43,125 --> 00:48:46,040
{\an8}I mean, think about all the good
the USA has done for South America--
947
00:48:46,062 --> 00:48:49,144
{\an8}the war on drugs, how
the CIA ran their elections--
948
00:48:49,166 --> 00:48:51,915
{\an8}and all that good is gone
now, evacuated into thin air,
949
00:48:51,937 --> 00:48:53,582
all because of
these two a-holes.
950
00:48:53,604 --> 00:48:55,561
But the anger
Americans are feeling
951
00:48:55,583 --> 00:48:59,374
pales to the outrage that has swept across
the fifth-largest country in the world.
952
00:48:59,396 --> 00:49:00,358
If I got a chance,
953
00:49:00,458 --> 00:49:02,061
I would kill those guys!
954
00:49:02,083 --> 00:49:03,483
It's only a
matter of time!
955
00:49:03,583 --> 00:49:04,733
And they will be dead!
956
00:49:04,833 --> 00:49:06,665
What is an embarrassment
for America
957
00:49:06,687 --> 00:49:08,769
has become a
tragedy for Brazil.
958
00:49:08,791 --> 00:49:10,874
Back to you, Alexi,
in the studio.
959
00:49:10,896 --> 00:49:15,144
All of soccer-obsessed Brazil is
now hunting Lewison and DeBell.
960
00:49:15,166 --> 00:49:16,441
- Okay.
- Two thoughtless Americans...
961
00:49:16,541 --> 00:49:17,900
Blah, blah, blah.
962
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,165
Everybody in Brazil
want to punish you.
963
00:49:20,187 --> 00:49:22,082
Not while I'm still alive.
964
00:49:22,104 --> 00:49:24,353
- See?
- More champagne!
965
00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:25,999
- You're the best, Curt.
- Thank you.
966
00:49:26,021 --> 00:49:27,978
We're safe here with him.
967
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,416
- Relax. Relax.
- Yeah, we're fine. Champagne's the answer.
968
00:49:31,166 --> 00:49:32,875
- Oh, hey. Hi.
- Hi.
969
00:49:33,666 --> 00:49:35,832
You're the Americano.
970
00:49:35,854 --> 00:49:37,025
Yeah.
971
00:49:37,125 --> 00:49:38,708
You like karaoke?
972
00:49:39,416 --> 00:49:40,936
Okey dokey.
973
00:49:40,958 --> 00:49:42,644
How about titties?
974
00:49:42,666 --> 00:49:44,874
A little bitty.
Are these trick questions?
975
00:49:53,041 --> 00:49:55,624
Will you sing me a song,
gatinho?
976
00:49:55,646 --> 00:49:58,790
Um, I don't know.
I don't really...
977
00:49:58,812 --> 00:50:00,025
Please.
978
00:50:00,125 --> 00:50:01,853
- Well, no.
- Entertain me.
979
00:50:01,875 --> 00:50:04,290
- I don't really sing karaoke.
- Just, just one s-- one song.
980
00:50:04,312 --> 00:50:05,400
I don't sing karaoke.
981
00:50:05,500 --> 00:50:06,775
Sing me a fucking song,
dude.
982
00:50:06,875 --> 00:50:10,894
♪ But you didn't
have to cut me off ♪
983
00:50:10,916 --> 00:50:14,915
♪ make out like it never happened
and that we were nothing ♪
984
00:50:14,937 --> 00:50:17,540
♪ And I don't even
need your love ♪
985
00:50:17,562 --> 00:50:21,457
♪ Now you're just somebody
that I used to know ♪
986
00:50:29,375 --> 00:50:34,875
♪ Now and then, I think of all
the times you screwed me over ♪
987
00:50:36,416 --> 00:50:43,041
♪ but had me believing it was
always something that I'd done ♪
988
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:48,082
♪ And I don't wanna
live that way ♪
989
00:50:48,104 --> 00:50:51,769
♪ reading into
every word you say ♪
990
00:50:51,791 --> 00:50:54,811
♪ You said that you
could let it go ♪
991
00:50:54,833 --> 00:50:59,249
♪ and I wouldn't catch you hung up
on somebody that you used to know ♪
992
00:50:59,271 --> 00:51:03,019
♪ But you didn't
have to cut me off ♪
993
00:51:03,041 --> 00:51:06,999
♪ make out like it never happened
and that we were nothing ♪
994
00:51:07,021 --> 00:51:09,686
♪ And I don't even
need your love ♪
995
00:51:09,708 --> 00:51:12,749
♪ Treat me like a stranger,
and that feels so ♪
996
00:51:14,333 --> 00:51:16,207
Bravo. So charming!
997
00:51:16,229 --> 00:51:18,061
I love you two!
998
00:51:18,083 --> 00:51:20,103
You are geniuses.
999
00:51:20,125 --> 00:51:23,436
And now I want to reward
you with anything you want
1000
00:51:23,458 --> 00:51:25,916
in the whole wide world,
just name it.
1001
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,458
Can we go home?
1002
00:51:30,041 --> 00:51:31,358
Almost anything.
1003
00:51:31,458 --> 00:51:33,525
You can never leave here.
1004
00:51:33,625 --> 00:51:36,707
I mean, you've seen
how Brazil reacts to you.
1005
00:51:36,729 --> 00:51:38,394
It's too risky.
1006
00:51:38,416 --> 00:51:40,791
Is there anything else?
1007
00:51:41,708 --> 00:51:42,941
I got something.
1008
00:51:43,041 --> 00:51:47,999
And we call it the
Testicle Sent--
1009
00:51:48,021 --> 00:51:49,978
the Balls Up.
1010
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,500
Okay. Call it Balls Up.
1011
00:51:53,083 --> 00:51:55,291
Sorry.
1012
00:51:56,541 --> 00:51:59,457
Why'd nobody ever
thought about this before?
1013
00:51:59,479 --> 00:52:02,458
You know, Elijah...
1014
00:52:03,583 --> 00:52:06,707
...I never pictured myself
in the condom business.
1015
00:52:06,729 --> 00:52:09,040
It's kind of a
seedy industry.
1016
00:52:09,062 --> 00:52:12,061
I'd have to tell
my mother I was...
1017
00:52:12,083 --> 00:52:13,441
dealing in meth,
1018
00:52:13,541 --> 00:52:15,958
but...
1019
00:52:17,333 --> 00:52:19,583
- That means I'm in.
- You're in?
1020
00:52:20,625 --> 00:52:22,603
You're--
1021
00:52:22,625 --> 00:52:23,691
Hero ball.
1022
00:52:23,791 --> 00:52:25,728
It's about fucking time!
1023
00:52:25,750 --> 00:52:27,415
So much-needed protection
1024
00:52:27,437 --> 00:52:30,311
for my exposed testicles.
1025
00:52:30,333 --> 00:52:33,082
I couldn't care less
about your testículos.
1026
00:52:33,104 --> 00:52:38,686
But imagine how much cocaína
we can stuff into these condoms
1027
00:52:38,708 --> 00:52:40,957
that we can swallow
and smuggle.
1028
00:52:40,979 --> 00:52:42,358
Wow, you'd kill.
1029
00:52:42,458 --> 00:52:46,644
I mean, these would be big
cocaína sausages with meatballs.
1030
00:52:46,666 --> 00:52:48,707
This could transform
the industry.
1031
00:52:48,729 --> 00:52:52,624
Let's just see if it's as
durable as you say, okay?
1032
00:52:56,125 --> 00:52:57,483
Quick question.
1033
00:52:57,583 --> 00:53:00,665
What if I have a really
strong gag reflex?
1034
00:53:00,687 --> 00:53:06,665
Well, maybe I decide that this
condom wasn't fit for such use
1035
00:53:06,687 --> 00:53:11,978
and that you have wasted
mine and my family's time
1036
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:17,811
and that perhaps I should make a
futebol out of your two cheeks.
1037
00:53:17,833 --> 00:53:19,691
I appreciate your honesty.
1038
00:53:19,791 --> 00:53:21,394
Just one gulp.
1039
00:53:21,416 --> 00:53:23,603
Mm, yeah,
just swallow it whole.
1040
00:53:23,625 --> 00:53:26,374
Come on, you know I have the
throat thing where it closes up.
1041
00:53:26,396 --> 00:53:28,500
Well, for God sakes,
don't chew it.
1042
00:53:34,250 --> 00:53:36,311
Beautiful.
1043
00:53:36,333 --> 00:53:37,608
Lovely technique.
1044
00:53:37,708 --> 00:53:40,165
Well,
those exercises worked.
1045
00:53:47,333 --> 00:53:50,332
Guessing this isn't you
guys' first rodeo, huh?
1046
00:53:50,354 --> 00:53:52,833
Get it down.
1047
00:53:55,708 --> 00:53:56,775
Mm.
1048
00:53:56,875 --> 00:53:58,666
♪ We built this city ♪
1049
00:53:59,625 --> 00:54:02,374
♪ We built this city
on rock and roll ♪
1050
00:54:02,396 --> 00:54:03,608
Is that...
1051
00:54:03,708 --> 00:54:06,040
Jefferson Starship?
1052
00:54:06,583 --> 00:54:08,186
Just Starship.
1053
00:54:08,208 --> 00:54:10,625
- They dropped the "Jefferson."
- Did they?
1054
00:54:12,125 --> 00:54:15,790
Is there a problem? Do you want
some, uh, Tabasco on it or something?
1055
00:54:15,812 --> 00:54:17,519
It's-it's too tasteless.
1056
00:54:17,541 --> 00:54:19,165
It's not the
flavor so much.
1057
00:54:19,187 --> 00:54:24,186
It's more that it's a whole
penis and balls full of cocaine
1058
00:54:24,208 --> 00:54:25,999
that could choke
me to death.
1059
00:54:26,021 --> 00:54:28,458
I fully understand.
1060
00:55:11,625 --> 00:55:12,733
I got it.
1061
00:55:12,833 --> 00:55:15,125
Bravo!
1062
00:55:15,708 --> 00:55:17,540
- Yes!
- What?
1063
00:55:19,250 --> 00:55:21,832
- Let's go back to the party, gatinho.
- How'd you get it down?
1064
00:55:21,854 --> 00:55:24,103
- Hey, Brad, how'd you get it down?
- Bye.
1065
00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:26,207
- It's easy, just suck it down.
- Go back to the party.
1066
00:55:26,229 --> 00:55:27,728
Enjoy my cartel.
1067
00:55:27,750 --> 00:55:30,561
Those two...
those two crazy kids.
1068
00:55:30,583 --> 00:55:32,374
Beautiful determination.
1069
00:55:32,396 --> 00:55:34,250
This sucks, man.
1070
00:55:40,583 --> 00:55:42,291
Time out. I'm sorry.
1071
00:55:42,875 --> 00:55:45,166
Is that Gisele?
1072
00:55:46,041 --> 00:55:48,499
What's, uh, what's
the story on Gisele?
1073
00:55:48,521 --> 00:55:51,208
Is she another one
of your conquests?
1074
00:55:52,208 --> 00:55:57,416
Why would I want to make
a conquest of my sister?
1075
00:56:00,250 --> 00:56:02,125
Gisele i--
1076
00:56:02,708 --> 00:56:04,707
She's your sister?
1077
00:56:04,729 --> 00:56:07,769
Pavio Curto Bundchen.
1078
00:56:07,791 --> 00:56:09,603
Gisele Bundchen.
1079
00:56:09,625 --> 00:56:12,811
- Wow.
- At the family gatherings,
1080
00:56:12,833 --> 00:56:17,124
everyone would say that I was
going to go and be the supermodel
1081
00:56:17,146 --> 00:56:20,311
and that she would
be the cartel leader.
1082
00:56:20,333 --> 00:56:24,436
Our father said that one of
us had to go to university
1083
00:56:24,458 --> 00:56:26,125
to study cocaine dealing.
1084
00:56:27,250 --> 00:56:29,625
Being the eldest...
1085
00:56:30,791 --> 00:56:32,415
...I did the
honorable thing.
1086
00:56:32,437 --> 00:56:36,750
I gave up my dream so that
she could follow hers.
1087
00:56:37,750 --> 00:56:39,811
Sure, she did fine,
1088
00:56:39,833 --> 00:56:41,233
but I could've
been better.
1089
00:56:41,333 --> 00:56:43,833
I could've brought
the world together...
1090
00:56:45,416 --> 00:56:47,394
...in desire for me.
1091
00:56:47,416 --> 00:56:49,894
But she always
craved attention.
1092
00:56:49,916 --> 00:56:52,749
I mean, even today, she
surrounds herself with yes-men.
1093
00:56:52,771 --> 00:56:54,500
- Isn't that right, men?
- Yes.
1094
00:56:55,916 --> 00:56:57,603
Hey, boss.
1095
00:56:57,625 --> 00:56:59,332
- Show him.
- Yes.
1096
00:56:59,354 --> 00:57:00,853
No, no, no.
1097
00:57:00,875 --> 00:57:03,332
- Show him.
- No, he doesn't want to see it.
1098
00:57:03,354 --> 00:57:04,400
Show him.
1099
00:57:04,500 --> 00:57:05,691
No, no,
he's not interested.
1100
00:57:05,791 --> 00:57:08,499
I'm interested.
This can wait.
1101
00:57:08,521 --> 00:57:10,124
He needs to see.
1102
00:57:10,146 --> 00:57:12,625
Please, Curt.
1103
00:57:14,375 --> 00:57:16,082
Dois minutos.
Stay right there.
1104
00:57:22,416 --> 00:57:24,144
Actually not
feeling too sexy.
1105
00:57:24,166 --> 00:57:25,999
Kind of bloated
from that coke cock.
1106
00:57:26,021 --> 00:57:28,291
Mm, too bad.
1107
00:57:29,291 --> 00:57:34,019
I've always wanted to fuck
the dick off an American.
1108
00:57:34,041 --> 00:57:36,499
Can we... can we stop
just short of that?
1109
00:57:36,521 --> 00:57:38,124
Mm...
1110
00:57:39,958 --> 00:57:41,582
You st-still got it.
1111
00:57:41,604 --> 00:57:44,040
I could've been
the greatest!
1112
00:57:44,062 --> 00:57:46,333
Yep.
1113
00:57:47,750 --> 00:57:50,436
You got three
seconds to swallow.
1114
00:57:50,458 --> 00:57:52,249
When you put it like that.
1115
00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:13,353
That's interesting--
balls first.
1116
00:58:13,375 --> 00:58:14,566
I wouldn't have
expected that.
1117
00:58:14,666 --> 00:58:19,165
I figured if you get the balls down
first, then everything else will follow.
1118
00:58:19,187 --> 00:58:20,790
To Balls Up!
1119
00:58:20,812 --> 00:58:23,290
Balls Up!
1120
00:58:27,291 --> 00:58:29,478
Elijah, a question.
1121
00:58:29,500 --> 00:58:31,436
I can see the
resemblance now.
1122
00:58:31,458 --> 00:58:33,124
At least in the hair,
right?
1123
00:58:33,146 --> 00:58:34,941
Have you seen your friend?
1124
00:58:35,041 --> 00:58:37,583
Brad? No. Uh,
he went off with some...
1125
00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:40,915
That woman he left with?
Emilia?
1126
00:58:40,937 --> 00:58:42,150
Yeah.
1127
00:58:42,250 --> 00:58:44,124
That's Pavio Curto's wife.
1128
00:58:44,146 --> 00:58:46,186
That's his wife?
1129
00:58:46,208 --> 00:58:48,499
See, my boss,
he has had a lot of sex.
1130
00:58:48,521 --> 00:58:50,061
Like, a lot.
1131
00:58:50,083 --> 00:58:52,207
So much sex, it no longer
get exciting for him.
1132
00:58:52,229 --> 00:58:55,269
So,
in order to get him going,
1133
00:58:55,291 --> 00:58:57,436
Emilia,
she find another man,
1134
00:58:57,458 --> 00:58:58,775
- seduces him...
- Yeah.
1135
00:58:58,875 --> 00:59:00,999
- ...then Pavio Curto catches her...
- Oh.
1136
00:59:01,021 --> 00:59:02,400
...gets all mad, and...
1137
00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:04,582
those two go have sex while we
torture the other man to death
1138
00:59:04,604 --> 00:59:06,291
using a broken cachaça
bottle up the ass.
1139
00:59:07,583 --> 00:59:08,900
It-it's a whole thing.
1140
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,207
It's, uh,
it's a whole thing.
1141
00:59:11,229 --> 00:59:13,436
I-- Guys,
give me one minute.
1142
00:59:13,458 --> 00:59:15,478
- Toys?
- Oh, you're gonna love this, Brad.
1143
00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:17,040
- I don't know about that.
- Brad, hey.
1144
00:59:17,062 --> 00:59:18,025
Oh, hey, Lij.
1145
00:59:18,125 --> 00:59:20,207
Give me a Balls Up from the
bottomless fanny pack of yours.
1146
00:59:20,229 --> 00:59:23,874
I need you to get off the bed, get
the woman off of you right now.
1147
00:59:23,896 --> 00:59:25,915
Emilia!
1148
00:59:27,541 --> 00:59:29,624
Is this Americano
taking advantage of you?
1149
00:59:29,646 --> 00:59:31,769
Yes. Yes, he was.
1150
00:59:31,791 --> 00:59:33,478
What? No, no,
quite the contrary.
1151
00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:35,040
She was trying to
fuck my dick off.
1152
00:59:35,062 --> 00:59:37,125
Brad, Brad, Brad.
1153
00:59:38,708 --> 00:59:40,665
We all know what
happens now.
1154
00:59:40,687 --> 00:59:42,499
Actually, I don't.
1155
00:59:42,521 --> 00:59:44,332
Uh, you do?
1156
00:59:44,354 --> 00:59:46,666
What the...?
1157
00:59:48,125 --> 00:59:50,478
This is, this is just
a misunderstanding.
1158
00:59:50,500 --> 00:59:52,707
I got confused when you
said enjoy the cartel.
1159
00:59:52,729 --> 00:59:54,025
I-I thought you meant her.
1160
00:59:54,125 --> 00:59:56,957
What, you thought I meant to take
the woman who's married to me
1161
00:59:56,979 --> 00:59:59,894
and try and put your pinto
in her... ?
1162
00:59:59,916 --> 01:00:01,853
Well, I-I didn't know
you guys were married.
1163
01:00:01,875 --> 01:00:03,874
- I mean, she's, uh, she's very friendly.
- Yeah--
1164
01:00:03,896 --> 01:00:05,150
Yeah,
she is very friendly.
1165
01:00:05,250 --> 01:00:07,457
That's our nature.
That's Brazil.
1166
01:00:07,479 --> 01:00:11,207
Her ex-husband is not even
decomposed in the mass gravy.
1167
01:00:11,229 --> 01:00:13,144
My dear husband,
1168
01:00:13,166 --> 01:00:15,207
how will you
avenge my honor?
1169
01:00:16,541 --> 01:00:18,416
I was thinking a
little bit of murder.
1170
01:00:19,041 --> 01:00:21,499
Are you as turned
on as I am?
1171
01:00:25,208 --> 01:00:26,728
Wait a minute.
1172
01:00:26,750 --> 01:00:29,144
Time out. I thought we
were all friends here.
1173
01:00:29,166 --> 01:00:31,749
Davi, Benicio, you're just
not gonna say anything?
1174
01:00:31,771 --> 01:00:34,582
No, you're not my friend,
you piece of shit.
1175
01:00:34,604 --> 01:00:37,207
I grew up in a
futebol- loving family.
1176
01:00:37,229 --> 01:00:38,441
I'm sorry.
1177
01:00:38,541 --> 01:00:41,249
Seriously,
for the thousandth time,
1178
01:00:41,271 --> 01:00:44,228
it's only a game!
1179
01:00:44,250 --> 01:00:46,750
Yeah, one you're about
to lose. Kill them.
1180
01:00:47,708 --> 01:00:51,061
Okay, fuck-boy,
prepare to die.
1181
01:00:51,083 --> 01:00:52,708
It's time for analismo.
1182
01:00:54,166 --> 01:00:56,250
Gentlemen, please
put him in position.
1183
01:01:17,500 --> 01:01:18,483
What?
1184
01:01:18,583 --> 01:01:23,249
It must have been
the rival Cardosa cartel.
1185
01:01:23,271 --> 01:01:28,207
They will not stop
until they kill everyone.
1186
01:01:28,229 --> 01:01:32,936
Please, shoot them
in the dicks for me.
1187
01:01:32,958 --> 01:01:35,499
All right, we'll-we'll...
we'll do our absolute best.
1188
01:01:35,521 --> 01:01:37,207
Kiss me.
1189
01:01:37,229 --> 01:01:38,978
Huh?
1190
01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,583
Kiss me.
1191
01:01:41,333 --> 01:01:43,233
What?
1192
01:01:43,333 --> 01:01:45,061
No, no, no, no.
1193
01:01:45,083 --> 01:01:47,394
Don't you dare let go.
1194
01:01:47,416 --> 01:01:50,144
Don't you die on us, Curt.
Stay here.
1195
01:01:50,166 --> 01:01:51,874
Right here! Right here!
1196
01:01:53,833 --> 01:01:55,108
I don't know
why I said that.
1197
01:01:55,208 --> 01:01:57,082
This is the best thing that
could've happened to us.
1198
01:01:57,104 --> 01:01:59,457
Yeah, we need to get the fuck
out of here. Now. Come on.
1199
01:02:01,166 --> 01:02:02,999
Okay.
1200
01:02:04,750 --> 01:02:06,874
♪ Here comes
that rainy day ♪
1201
01:02:06,896 --> 01:02:09,375
♪ feeling again ♪
1202
01:02:13,291 --> 01:02:17,166
♪ And soon my tears they
will be falling like rain ♪
1203
01:02:20,750 --> 01:02:24,082
♪ It always seems
to be a Monday ♪
1204
01:02:25,166 --> 01:02:27,415
♪ Leftover
memories of Sunday...
1205
01:02:27,437 --> 01:02:29,686
- Oh, fuck.
- Come on. Come on.
1206
01:02:29,708 --> 01:02:31,540
Careful you don't fall
into the mass grave.
1207
01:02:31,562 --> 01:02:34,082
♪ Before the
clouds appeared ♪
1208
01:02:34,104 --> 01:02:36,749
♪ and took away
my sunshine ♪
1209
01:02:36,771 --> 01:02:40,749
♪ Here comes that rainy
day feeling again ♪
1210
01:02:42,208 --> 01:02:44,374
I think they just
called our group.
1211
01:02:44,396 --> 01:02:48,707
♪ And I'll be dreaming
of you, baby, in vain ♪
1212
01:02:48,729 --> 01:02:51,957
♪ Bah-bah, bah-bah ♪
1213
01:02:51,979 --> 01:02:53,519
Come on.
1214
01:02:53,541 --> 01:02:56,603
♪ It always seems
to be a Monday ♪
1215
01:02:56,625 --> 01:02:59,978
- ♪ Leftover memories of Sunday ♪
- Oh, fuck. God.
1216
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:00,983
♪ always spent...
1217
01:03:01,083 --> 01:03:02,566
Oh, my God.
1218
01:03:02,666 --> 01:03:04,999
There's got to be a hundred million
dollars' worth of cocaine in this truck.
1219
01:03:05,021 --> 01:03:07,728
Yeah, about five
mil in our stomachs.
1220
01:03:07,750 --> 01:03:09,915
Right now, intestines.
You're not feeling that?
1221
01:03:09,937 --> 01:03:11,233
Oh, no.
1222
01:03:11,333 --> 01:03:13,457
Come on! Let's go!
1223
01:03:18,666 --> 01:03:20,025
Oh, my God.
1224
01:03:20,125 --> 01:03:22,436
I'm inhaling coke.
1225
01:03:22,458 --> 01:03:24,833
I've never done a drug
in my life.
1226
01:03:27,916 --> 01:03:29,316
Murphy's Law.
1227
01:03:29,416 --> 01:03:31,707
He finally lets us invite
a few bikini girls
1228
01:03:31,729 --> 01:03:33,250
to a party and--
1229
01:03:34,250 --> 01:03:36,019
Hey,
is your stomach hurting?
1230
01:03:36,041 --> 01:03:37,707
It's probably that
artichoke dip.
1231
01:03:37,729 --> 01:03:40,436
No. Wait. The cocaine!
1232
01:03:40,458 --> 01:03:41,566
The cocaine!
1233
01:03:41,666 --> 01:03:42,858
Holy shit.
1234
01:03:42,958 --> 01:03:45,415
Not only do you have
a dick inside you,
1235
01:03:45,437 --> 01:03:47,186
but two ballbags too.
1236
01:03:47,208 --> 01:03:49,394
All thanks to
those Americans.
1237
01:03:49,416 --> 01:03:52,332
What are they saying?
What the fuck's going on?
1238
01:03:52,354 --> 01:03:54,400
Okay, wait.
1239
01:03:54,500 --> 01:03:56,228
My husband
let down his guard,
1240
01:03:56,250 --> 01:03:59,249
and now he's dead, thanks
to those dumb motherfuckers.
1241
01:04:00,583 --> 01:04:03,061
I'd like to chop them
into little pieces
1242
01:04:03,083 --> 01:04:06,000
and eat them like peanuts
all the way to Paraguay.
1243
01:04:06,500 --> 01:04:07,900
The tall one, "Brad"?
1244
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,061
What an empty suit.
1245
01:04:10,083 --> 01:04:13,790
He thought he actually
had a chance with me.
1246
01:04:13,812 --> 01:04:15,561
Zero chemistry.
1247
01:04:15,583 --> 01:04:17,186
It was like
being motorboated
1248
01:04:17,208 --> 01:04:18,525
- by your brother.
- What?
1249
01:04:18,625 --> 01:04:20,353
He got lucky.
1250
01:04:20,375 --> 01:04:22,624
Two more minutes, he'd
have been tortured to death
1251
01:04:22,646 --> 01:04:25,082
with a broken bottle
in his shithole.
1252
01:04:25,104 --> 01:04:26,316
Ah, Elijah...
1253
01:04:26,416 --> 01:04:28,499
He has
such small-dick energy.
1254
01:04:28,521 --> 01:04:31,103
So neurotic.
1255
01:04:31,125 --> 01:04:32,811
Actually, I, uh,
1256
01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:34,457
I really,
I shouldn't make fun.
1257
01:04:34,479 --> 01:04:35,775
OCD is sad.
1258
01:04:35,875 --> 01:04:37,394
Let's-- We can stop.
1259
01:04:37,416 --> 01:04:38,999
- Give me this. Are you fucking--
- Why are you...?
1260
01:04:41,833 --> 01:04:44,082
What the hell was that?
1261
01:04:54,666 --> 01:04:55,983
You all right?
1262
01:04:56,083 --> 01:04:58,874
I got... I got the
wind knocked out of me.
1263
01:04:58,896 --> 01:05:00,436
Are you okay?
1264
01:05:00,458 --> 01:05:01,775
Yeah. Yeah.
1265
01:05:01,875 --> 01:05:04,415
Shit,
I can't find my phone.
1266
01:05:04,437 --> 01:05:05,608
Oh, I got it.
1267
01:05:05,708 --> 01:05:08,332
- I got it in the thing.
- What? Oh, God.
1268
01:05:08,354 --> 01:05:10,665
Thank you.
1269
01:05:16,708 --> 01:05:19,582
Oh, God.
1270
01:05:21,333 --> 01:05:23,666
- Shit.
- Wow, that hurt.
1271
01:05:24,708 --> 01:05:26,291
Be quiet.
1272
01:05:27,291 --> 01:05:29,353
You know what?
1273
01:05:29,375 --> 01:05:30,733
I actually feel
pretty good.
1274
01:05:30,833 --> 01:05:33,208
That's the coke.
1275
01:05:36,666 --> 01:05:38,500
Oh.
1276
01:05:39,208 --> 01:05:41,316
Oh, my God.
1277
01:05:41,416 --> 01:05:43,790
Should we say a prayer?
1278
01:05:43,812 --> 01:05:45,644
For who?
1279
01:05:45,666 --> 01:05:48,540
For the horny killers who tried to kill
us and are still gonna get us killed
1280
01:05:48,562 --> 01:05:50,874
- if we wait here for the other killers?
- Oh, right.
1281
01:05:50,896 --> 01:05:53,333
I'll say something
for them later.
1282
01:05:54,500 --> 01:05:56,540
All right, come on.
Let's get going.
1283
01:05:59,083 --> 01:06:01,061
- What the fuck? Ow, shit.
- What?
1284
01:06:01,083 --> 01:06:03,061
- My-my leg is fucked up.
- No, no, no.
1285
01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:05,540
Come on, we got to go, man. We're
in the middle of the jungle.
1286
01:06:05,562 --> 01:06:07,582
- Holy shit.
- What?
1287
01:06:07,604 --> 01:06:08,941
Uh...
1288
01:06:09,041 --> 01:06:10,769
Nothing.
Just don't look down.
1289
01:06:10,791 --> 01:06:12,874
- Now all I want to do is look down.
- I know, but don't--
1290
01:06:12,896 --> 01:06:14,811
Oh, my God, my knee.
1291
01:06:14,833 --> 01:06:16,749
You know what my grandmother
says in a moment like this?
1292
01:06:16,771 --> 01:06:18,624
Just fix my knee before
the booger sugar wears off.
1293
01:06:18,646 --> 01:06:19,858
- Please.
- Yeah, you're right.
1294
01:06:19,958 --> 01:06:21,150
Sorry.
1295
01:06:21,250 --> 01:06:25,124
Hey, before I do this,
I just want to say...
1296
01:06:25,146 --> 01:06:27,269
Brad...
1297
01:06:27,291 --> 01:06:28,275
I love you, man.
1298
01:06:28,375 --> 01:06:29,608
Yeah, that's just
the fucking coke talking.
1299
01:06:29,708 --> 01:06:30,858
I love you, too.
Now get the knee.
1300
01:06:30,958 --> 01:06:32,707
- Fucking what the fuck?
- You just say that because you're high?
1301
01:06:32,729 --> 01:06:34,957
- 'Cause I'm not just saying it.
- The knee.
1302
01:06:34,979 --> 01:06:36,519
All right, the knee.
1303
01:06:36,541 --> 01:06:37,941
- Y'all ready for this?
- It's the other one.
1304
01:06:38,041 --> 01:06:40,269
Oh. Absolutely.
1305
01:06:40,291 --> 01:06:41,915
Is it lefty loosey,
righty tighty?
1306
01:06:41,937 --> 01:06:44,874
I don't think it works
like-- Oh, my God!
1307
01:06:44,896 --> 01:06:46,540
Oh, shit. Oh, my God.
1308
01:06:46,562 --> 01:06:48,250
I fixed that shit.
1309
01:06:49,500 --> 01:06:50,691
Tudo bem.
1310
01:06:50,791 --> 01:06:53,082
- Eh, tudo bem. Tudo bem.
- Oh, my God.
1311
01:06:53,104 --> 01:06:55,644
Oh, you fixed my knee.
1312
01:06:55,666 --> 01:06:56,900
Thank you. Thank you.
1313
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,191
So...
1314
01:06:58,291 --> 01:06:59,875
Love you, too.
1315
01:07:01,291 --> 01:07:02,853
What?
1316
01:07:02,875 --> 01:07:05,125
I know what
this looks like.
1317
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,665
Okay, now, careful.
Just see if it... works.
1318
01:07:09,687 --> 01:07:10,858
Yeah.
1319
01:07:10,958 --> 01:07:12,540
- You all right?
- Oh.
1320
01:07:12,562 --> 01:07:14,894
- It's genius.
- Oh!
1321
01:07:14,916 --> 01:07:16,519
Good. I'm glad.
1322
01:07:16,541 --> 01:07:18,540
Now, to get us out
of the jungle...
1323
01:07:18,562 --> 01:07:20,374
No bars. Okay, so no GPS.
1324
01:07:20,396 --> 01:07:24,936
But we do know that they were
driving west to Paraguay.
1325
01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:26,191
The sun rises in the east,
so--
1326
01:07:26,291 --> 01:07:27,525
No, I think it's backwards
below the equator.
1327
01:07:27,625 --> 01:07:28,858
No, you couldn't
be more wrong.
1328
01:07:28,958 --> 01:07:32,832
So what we have to do is we need to walk
with our backs toward the morning light...
1329
01:07:32,854 --> 01:07:35,374
and then run until
we get to Paraguay.
1330
01:07:35,396 --> 01:07:36,650
Okay. All right.
1331
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:39,915
♪ Paraguay good times,
come on ♪
1332
01:07:41,583 --> 01:07:43,875
♪ It's a
Paraguaytion ♪
1333
01:07:45,458 --> 01:07:47,832
You think we're
making good progress?
1334
01:07:47,854 --> 01:07:49,769
No. No, I don't.
1335
01:07:49,791 --> 01:07:52,644
And without
bricks of cocaine,
1336
01:07:52,666 --> 01:07:54,624
- I'm starting to realize...
- Don't say it.
1337
01:07:54,646 --> 01:07:57,500
- ...we are super fucked.
- I said don't!
1338
01:07:58,250 --> 01:08:00,165
That's crazy
to think about.
1339
01:08:00,187 --> 01:08:01,853
It's ironic, you know.
1340
01:08:01,875 --> 01:08:05,519
I used to fear that the rainforest
was gonna be chopped down.
1341
01:08:05,541 --> 01:08:08,415
Now I'm starting to think they
didn't chop it down fast enough.
1342
01:08:08,437 --> 01:08:09,691
You know what?
1343
01:08:09,791 --> 01:08:13,332
I remember you ruining a lunch or two
with that bullshit rainforest thing.
1344
01:08:13,354 --> 01:08:15,894
Am I spoiling your
good time, Brad?
1345
01:08:15,916 --> 01:08:18,665
No, no, you know what? I used to
think Steve was the fun police.
1346
01:08:18,687 --> 01:08:20,353
But it's not. It's you.
1347
01:08:20,375 --> 01:08:22,124
It's been you
the whole time.
1348
01:08:22,146 --> 01:08:25,540
Dude, when people laugh,
they're not laughing with you.
1349
01:08:25,562 --> 01:08:27,250
They're laughing at you.
1350
01:08:27,833 --> 01:08:31,374
Did it ever occur to you that
"from Sales" might be a pejorative?
1351
01:08:32,708 --> 01:08:34,665
You know what?
Maybe they do laugh at me,
1352
01:08:34,687 --> 01:08:36,394
but they roll
their eyes at you.
1353
01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:38,749
All your "No one's up to my
standards," "I arrived early,"
1354
01:08:38,771 --> 01:08:40,665
"I left late," "I wiped
down the microwave,"
1355
01:08:40,687 --> 01:08:41,900
"I kissed
everybody's ass."
1356
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:43,936
How'd that work
out for you, huh?
1357
01:08:43,958 --> 01:08:46,874
So all that nice stuff you said
back there, that was just, what?
1358
01:08:46,896 --> 01:08:49,957
I told you,
that was cocaine. Okay?
1359
01:08:49,979 --> 01:08:52,103
And speaking of which...
1360
01:08:52,125 --> 01:08:54,207
we're gonna need some more
yeyo if we want to survive.
1361
01:08:54,229 --> 01:08:55,978
No,
I'm not doing more blow.
1362
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:58,874
Really? So where are we gonna get the
energy we need to get out of here?
1363
01:08:58,896 --> 01:09:01,269
Just nor-- Don't snort me!
1364
01:09:01,291 --> 01:09:04,353
You want energy? Just use
normal, real-life energy.
1365
01:09:04,375 --> 01:09:06,019
Normal energy is
gonna run out.
1366
01:09:06,041 --> 01:09:09,124
I mean, unless you got, like, what, a
leg of lamb you're not telling me about,
1367
01:09:09,146 --> 01:09:10,832
we're gonna need
some blow, okay?
1368
01:09:12,416 --> 01:09:14,375
I think I know where
we can get some.
1369
01:09:15,208 --> 01:09:17,165
Oh. Oh, no.
1370
01:09:17,187 --> 01:09:19,019
Mm-hmm.
1371
01:09:19,041 --> 01:09:21,540
Yeah, do me a favor. Just
take it over there, would you?
1372
01:09:21,562 --> 01:09:22,858
Yeah, no problem.
1373
01:09:22,958 --> 01:09:24,603
- And, Brad?
- What?
1374
01:09:24,625 --> 01:09:27,811
What we're about to do,
we never speak of.
1375
01:09:27,833 --> 01:09:30,082
Relax. We're just
taking a dump, okay?
1376
01:09:30,104 --> 01:09:31,358
I may need your help.
1377
01:09:31,458 --> 01:09:34,082
Yeah,
that goes to the grave.
1378
01:09:34,104 --> 01:09:39,144
♪ I hear they have the
good drugs in Brazil...
1379
01:09:39,166 --> 01:09:40,916
I don't think I can do it.
1380
01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:43,358
Me, either.
1381
01:09:43,458 --> 01:09:45,540
Though they did come
out sparkling clean.
1382
01:09:45,562 --> 01:09:48,311
That's actually by design.
1383
01:09:48,333 --> 01:09:51,269
Yeah, the, uh, patented
latex blend we use,
1384
01:09:51,291 --> 01:09:54,832
it deflects any kind of contaminant,
especially fecal matter.
1385
01:09:54,854 --> 01:09:57,124
You really are
good with shit.
1386
01:09:57,146 --> 01:09:58,978
Yeah.
1387
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,583
Me and my shit.
1388
01:10:02,833 --> 01:10:06,311
People,
that's another story.
1389
01:10:06,333 --> 01:10:08,166
Well, at least you
care about people.
1390
01:10:09,166 --> 01:10:11,083
That's more than I
can say about me.
1391
01:10:13,458 --> 01:10:19,853
I don't feel like I have ever fully fit
in with any group of people anywhere.
1392
01:10:19,875 --> 01:10:21,894
That's what I
admire about you.
1393
01:10:21,916 --> 01:10:23,233
You don't try to fit in.
1394
01:10:23,333 --> 01:10:24,915
I mean, you're hated
and you're fine with it.
1395
01:10:24,937 --> 01:10:27,041
- I'm not hated.
- Yeah, you are.
1396
01:10:27,666 --> 01:10:29,500
Look, it's a compliment.
1397
01:10:30,083 --> 01:10:32,624
It means you have a strong
ego, you're just you.
1398
01:10:32,646 --> 01:10:36,436
Me, I'm all fucking
smiles and backslaps.
1399
01:10:36,458 --> 01:10:38,415
Fucking golf tan with
a social security card.
1400
01:10:38,437 --> 01:10:39,733
Yeah, Brad from Sales.
1401
01:10:39,833 --> 01:10:41,875
They'll put that
on my gravestone.
1402
01:10:43,750 --> 01:10:47,291
For the record, you are
very good at what you do.
1403
01:10:48,708 --> 01:10:51,333
Also, I don't think we're
gonna get gravestones.
1404
01:10:55,666 --> 01:10:57,457
Holy shit!
1405
01:11:07,208 --> 01:11:09,103
He just ate both of
the coke condoms.
1406
01:11:09,125 --> 01:11:12,040
Thank God there wasn't poop on
them. He'd be sick as a dog.
1407
01:11:12,062 --> 01:11:14,519
Oh, fuck me, did you
not see Cocaine Bear?
1408
01:11:14,541 --> 01:11:17,165
I don't want to see a crocodile gacked
out of its gourd on Brazilian blow.
1409
01:11:17,187 --> 01:11:19,394
I think it's an alligator.
1410
01:11:19,416 --> 01:11:20,999
Does it really matter
when it's about to eat us?
1411
01:11:21,021 --> 01:11:22,358
Right, right.
1412
01:11:22,458 --> 01:11:24,165
Oh, shit,
it's gonna charge us.
1413
01:11:35,708 --> 01:11:37,500
Did it... did it die?
1414
01:11:38,250 --> 01:11:40,541
I-I think I heard
its heart explode.
1415
01:11:41,125 --> 01:11:42,936
Yes. Yes!
1416
01:11:42,958 --> 01:11:45,749
Yes, yes, its fucking
heart exploded.
1417
01:11:45,771 --> 01:11:47,707
Oh, my God.
1418
01:11:48,916 --> 01:11:50,957
Hey,
you ever have croco tacos?
1419
01:11:50,979 --> 01:11:53,144
Don't you mean
gator taters?
1420
01:11:53,166 --> 01:11:55,415
I'm pretty sure
it's an alligator.
1421
01:11:55,437 --> 01:11:57,394
Gator tacos.
1422
01:11:57,416 --> 01:11:59,916
Pretty good.
Like muscly chicken.
1423
01:12:01,750 --> 01:12:04,165
Hey, do you think
in the gator world,
1424
01:12:04,187 --> 01:12:05,853
he might've had a name?
1425
01:12:05,875 --> 01:12:08,957
In the gator world? What
the fuck is wrong with you?
1426
01:12:08,979 --> 01:12:11,061
What?
Animals do communicate.
1427
01:12:11,083 --> 01:12:12,624
Maybe they give
each other names.
1428
01:12:12,646 --> 01:12:14,874
Oh, I feel horrible now.
We just ate Lenny.
1429
01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,019
Shh. Hey. Hey, stop.
1430
01:12:19,041 --> 01:12:20,233
I think I heard something.
1431
01:12:20,333 --> 01:12:21,566
Oh, my God.
1432
01:12:21,666 --> 01:12:23,832
Maybe Lenny's friends are
calling out for vengeance.
1433
01:12:23,854 --> 01:12:25,436
Shut up.
1434
01:12:25,458 --> 01:12:27,311
You know,
there are tribes out here
1435
01:12:27,333 --> 01:12:30,249
who have never even made contact
with actual human beings.
1436
01:12:30,271 --> 01:12:33,415
No, Pavio Curto chased them
away for shitting on the floor.
1437
01:12:33,437 --> 01:12:35,540
I doubt Curt
caught all of them.
1438
01:12:35,562 --> 01:12:37,436
There's a good cha--
1439
01:12:37,458 --> 01:12:40,061
Okay,
tell me you heard that.
1440
01:12:40,083 --> 01:12:41,233
That was you.
1441
01:12:41,333 --> 01:12:42,936
- No, it wasn't me.
- What?
1442
01:12:42,958 --> 01:12:45,915
Stay where you are! What do
you guys think you're doing?
1443
01:12:45,937 --> 01:12:47,833
Oh, my God.
1444
01:12:48,458 --> 01:12:50,478
- Are you Americans?
- Formerly.
1445
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:52,811
We're nationless
eco-fundamentalists now.
1446
01:12:52,833 --> 01:12:55,269
- Oh, that's cool. We can work with that.
- Yeah.
1447
01:12:55,291 --> 01:12:56,936
We're here to stop
the poaching trade.
1448
01:12:56,958 --> 01:12:59,228
- You're not poachers, are you?
- Poachers? Oh, God, no.
1449
01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:00,275
I mean, dressed like this?
1450
01:13:00,375 --> 01:13:02,415
I-I won't even eat poached
egg. It's disgusting.
1451
01:13:02,437 --> 01:13:05,311
Although I will say that that is
the healthiest way to eat an egg.
1452
01:13:05,333 --> 01:13:08,290
You cook an egg poached, I mean,
you lower the cholesterol oxidation.
1453
01:13:08,312 --> 01:13:11,519
Facts. Erewhon makes their
poachies on a paleo yam tartine.
1454
01:13:11,541 --> 01:13:13,394
- It's delicious.
- I love Erewhon.
1455
01:13:13,416 --> 01:13:15,124
You ever have their Eggs
Benedict Cumberbatch?
1456
01:13:15,146 --> 01:13:16,483
- No.
- They look kind of fucked-up,
1457
01:13:16,583 --> 01:13:19,583
but then you take a bite and you're like,
"Give these motherfuckers an award."
1458
01:13:20,166 --> 01:13:22,249
So what are you
guys doing out here?
1459
01:13:22,271 --> 01:13:23,894
That's a funny story.
1460
01:13:23,916 --> 01:13:25,957
Can I tell-- No, no, no, go
ahead. Tell it, tell it, tell it.
1461
01:13:25,979 --> 01:13:28,186
We were being used as drug
mules by a dangerous cartel.
1462
01:13:28,208 --> 01:13:29,999
- We didn't know.
- And then we escaped into the jungle.
1463
01:13:30,021 --> 01:13:32,811
Okay, this freaking
narco guy's wife
1464
01:13:32,833 --> 01:13:34,686
starts crawling all over
him, takes him upstairs.
1465
01:13:34,708 --> 01:13:35,900
- She wants to fuck him.
- Yeah.
1466
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:38,457
But it ended up being a weird kink
where the narco guy wanted to watch me
1467
01:13:38,479 --> 01:13:41,228
fuck his wife, and then he
tried to torture and kill me
1468
01:13:41,250 --> 01:13:42,999
- with a broken bottle up my ass.
- It was...
1469
01:13:43,021 --> 01:13:44,150
It was a whole thing.
1470
01:13:44,250 --> 01:13:46,228
So, did you do it?
1471
01:13:46,250 --> 01:13:47,650
- Do...?
- Oh, well, I couldn't,
1472
01:13:47,750 --> 01:13:50,457
'cause I had just gotten done,
uh, swallowing a giant condom.
1473
01:13:50,479 --> 01:13:52,708
Same. Also,
no one wanted to fuck me.
1474
01:13:54,250 --> 01:13:56,124
By the way,
Brad from Sales.
1475
01:13:56,146 --> 01:13:57,728
Julie.
1476
01:13:57,750 --> 01:13:59,025
Patchouli Julie.
1477
01:13:59,125 --> 01:14:00,665
Okay, come on now.
1478
01:14:00,687 --> 01:14:02,983
Condoms.
1479
01:14:03,083 --> 01:14:05,457
Holy fuck.
I know who these guys are.
1480
01:14:05,479 --> 01:14:07,603
Os Estúpidos.
1481
01:14:07,625 --> 01:14:11,894
Oh, um...
are you guys soccer fans?
1482
01:14:11,916 --> 01:14:15,124
What you guys did
was incredible.
1483
01:14:15,146 --> 01:14:17,540
Activism at its finest.
1484
01:14:17,562 --> 01:14:18,691
Disruption.
1485
01:14:18,791 --> 01:14:20,665
- Okay.
- That's what we're all about, too.
1486
01:14:20,687 --> 01:14:22,457
- You guys are heroes.
- Yes.
1487
01:14:22,479 --> 01:14:24,708
Nelson Mandela,
Che Guevara.
1488
01:14:25,333 --> 01:14:26,608
- Hero ball.
- Hero ball.
1489
01:14:26,708 --> 01:14:27,941
I told you.
1490
01:14:28,041 --> 01:14:30,478
Their stupid
little soccer game.
1491
01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:32,582
They think it's
so important.
1492
01:14:32,604 --> 01:14:33,733
Life or death.
1493
01:14:33,833 --> 01:14:36,061
It's like, no,
that's bullshit, man.
1494
01:14:36,083 --> 01:14:38,624
Yeah, I mean, we've been saying that
the whole time. Down with big soccer.
1495
01:14:38,646 --> 01:14:40,957
The real life or death
is happening right here
1496
01:14:40,979 --> 01:14:42,519
- in this rainforest.
- Mm-hmm.
1497
01:14:42,541 --> 01:14:45,207
The capitalists are doing everything
they can to destroy this place
1498
01:14:45,229 --> 01:14:48,832
with no consideration for its
indigenous people or beautiful wildlife.
1499
01:14:48,854 --> 01:14:51,936
Speaking of, this is...
♪ Yarimoey ♪
1500
01:14:51,958 --> 01:14:54,290
He's a local shaman who's
blessed our mission here.
1501
01:14:54,312 --> 01:14:56,415
A pleasure to meet you,
Yarimoey.
1502
01:14:56,437 --> 01:14:57,608
No!
1503
01:14:57,708 --> 01:14:59,894
- It's... ♪ Yarimoey ♪
- Oh.
1504
01:14:59,916 --> 01:15:01,316
You have to really
kind of sing it.
1505
01:15:01,416 --> 01:15:05,083
Uh, pleasure to meet
you... ♪ Yarimoey ♪
1506
01:15:05,583 --> 01:15:08,125
Yeah.
1507
01:15:08,958 --> 01:15:12,874
So, uh, you know, um, I'm a bit
of an environmentalist myself.
1508
01:15:12,896 --> 01:15:14,191
Yeah?
1509
01:15:14,291 --> 01:15:16,269
I always recycle
my Nespresso pods.
1510
01:15:16,291 --> 01:15:18,499
Make sure they don't
end up in a landfill.
1511
01:15:18,521 --> 01:15:20,441
How do you recycle them?
1512
01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:22,436
I usually, I just throw
them in the blue bin,
1513
01:15:22,458 --> 01:15:24,874
and then, you know, the good folks
down at recycling finish the job,
1514
01:15:24,896 --> 01:15:26,394
completing the
circle of life.
1515
01:15:26,416 --> 01:15:29,415
Look, I know it's not quite the same
level as what you guys are doing,
1516
01:15:29,437 --> 01:15:31,478
or maybe it is
in some way.
1517
01:15:31,500 --> 01:15:33,353
- So, what do you do?
- Oh, not much.
1518
01:15:33,375 --> 01:15:35,582
I mean, I'm just a guy who invented
the condom that covers the testicles.
1519
01:15:35,604 --> 01:15:37,207
It's probably gonna
change the world.
1520
01:15:37,229 --> 01:15:40,165
Well, we know this guy
won't be a customer.
1521
01:15:41,958 --> 01:15:44,374
- Why would you...? Why...?
- He's got those innie balls.
1522
01:15:44,396 --> 01:15:46,874
They, like, disappear
up into their ball cave.
1523
01:15:46,896 --> 01:15:48,108
Yeah.
1524
01:15:48,208 --> 01:15:51,290
Uh, undescended testicles, it's
called, but they-they still work.
1525
01:15:51,312 --> 01:15:52,853
- You just can't see them.
- Aw.
1526
01:15:52,875 --> 01:15:55,582
Sometimes he's got to dig them out
like little earthquake victims.
1527
01:15:55,604 --> 01:15:57,540
Okay, well, this
guy's got a huge cock.
1528
01:15:57,562 --> 01:15:59,311
It's just ridiculous.
1529
01:15:59,333 --> 01:16:01,749
I'm fine with that
info getting out.
1530
01:16:01,771 --> 01:16:04,894
Well, let's hang tonight,
guys.
1531
01:16:04,916 --> 01:16:07,561
We'll party,
dance, fuck, sing.
1532
01:16:07,583 --> 01:16:08,733
- Okay.
- Yeah?
1533
01:16:08,833 --> 01:16:09,858
- Fuck?
- Yeah.
1534
01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:12,853
No, nah, that-that
sounds very, uh, fun,
1535
01:16:12,875 --> 01:16:16,478
sounds great, but we-we... I
think we need to get going.
1536
01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:19,124
First thing tomorrow, we'll take
you guys downriver on our raft.
1537
01:16:19,146 --> 01:16:21,353
It's loaded with juices
and a bunch of food.
1538
01:16:21,375 --> 01:16:22,608
That sounds so great.
Thank you.
1539
01:16:22,708 --> 01:16:24,269
- And when we get to the ocean...
- Come on.
1540
01:16:24,291 --> 01:16:26,415
...there are plenty of ships
that will smuggle you guys home.
1541
01:16:26,437 --> 01:16:28,249
And we'll get you on
a good smuggle-ship,
1542
01:16:28,271 --> 01:16:30,540
not the ones that are
all human-traffick-y.
1543
01:16:30,562 --> 01:16:33,019
Be careful.
1544
01:16:33,041 --> 01:16:35,728
Never pee in the water.
1545
01:16:35,750 --> 01:16:39,499
That's where the tiny,
terrible vampire fish lives.
1546
01:16:39,521 --> 01:16:41,728
It swims up the
urine stream,
1547
01:16:41,750 --> 01:16:43,478
gets into your bladder,
1548
01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:45,269
and eats you
from the inside.
1549
01:16:45,291 --> 01:16:48,165
Yeah, I didn't, I didn't
get any of that. I'm sorry.
1550
01:16:48,187 --> 01:16:49,275
What's he saying?
1551
01:16:49,375 --> 01:16:51,519
Not sure.
1552
01:16:51,541 --> 01:16:54,436
We have yet to master
Yarimoey's tongue.
1553
01:16:54,458 --> 01:16:55,441
♪ Yarimoey ♪
1554
01:16:55,541 --> 01:16:57,728
This is so cool.
I mean, this is awesome.
1555
01:16:57,750 --> 01:17:00,290
He's probably the last person
on Earth to speak this language.
1556
01:17:00,312 --> 01:17:02,644
This tiny fish
1557
01:17:02,666 --> 01:17:05,250
has killed many large men.
1558
01:17:06,458 --> 01:17:08,624
- It's gibberish.
- Yeah.
1559
01:17:18,541 --> 01:17:21,582
Who the hell would've thought
we'd stumble into a Phish concert?
1560
01:17:21,604 --> 01:17:23,332
I mean, these guys
are cool as shit.
1561
01:17:23,354 --> 01:17:25,603
- Want some wasca?
- Um...
1562
01:17:25,625 --> 01:17:27,332
- Oh, that sounds interesting.
- No.
1563
01:17:27,354 --> 01:17:29,311
- Uh, no, no. No ayahuasca.
- I get it.
1564
01:17:29,333 --> 01:17:30,916
We're a little wasca'd out
around here, too.
1565
01:17:31,833 --> 01:17:33,191
Hey.
1566
01:17:33,291 --> 01:17:34,525
You partake?
1567
01:17:34,625 --> 01:17:36,353
Uh... no, thanks.
1568
01:17:36,375 --> 01:17:38,290
He's a, he's a germaphobe.
1569
01:17:38,312 --> 01:17:40,124
Freshie.
1570
01:17:40,146 --> 01:17:41,644
Huh?
1571
01:17:41,666 --> 01:17:44,165
Give him a freshie.
1572
01:17:44,458 --> 01:17:45,816
That's Ed.
He's our frog guy.
1573
01:17:45,916 --> 01:17:47,957
Hey, Ed. That's what you
do, you're the frog guy?
1574
01:17:47,979 --> 01:17:49,150
Yeah, how did you get into
1575
01:17:49,250 --> 01:17:50,915
- that line of work?
- That's cool.
1576
01:17:50,937 --> 01:17:53,332
Just, uh, catching...
1577
01:17:53,354 --> 01:17:54,978
You start...
1578
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:57,478
You start catching frogs.
1579
01:17:57,500 --> 01:17:59,186
- That's cool.
- Yeah.
1580
01:17:59,208 --> 01:18:01,374
I guess I was thinking more
of the science behind it.
1581
01:18:01,396 --> 01:18:03,853
You know,
the dosage and, uh,
1582
01:18:03,875 --> 01:18:06,644
chemical interactions,
toxicity levels.
1583
01:18:06,666 --> 01:18:08,415
Hey,
I got to go make a call.
1584
01:18:08,437 --> 01:18:10,333
- What?
- I'll be back.
1585
01:18:11,416 --> 01:18:13,582
Oh.
1586
01:18:15,083 --> 01:18:16,603
Brad.
1587
01:18:16,625 --> 01:18:18,499
Hey, Brad.
1588
01:18:18,521 --> 01:18:19,775
What?
1589
01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:22,228
- Where are you going?
- What do you mean, where am I going?
1590
01:18:22,250 --> 01:18:24,499
I'm about to give a little
product demo to Patchouli Julie.
1591
01:18:24,521 --> 01:18:26,916
Why don't you go try to get with
Trustafarian Tina over there?
1592
01:18:27,416 --> 01:18:29,353
♪ ♪
1593
01:18:29,375 --> 01:18:32,707
You mean the one whose armpits look like
the floor of an Armenian barbershop?
1594
01:18:32,729 --> 01:18:35,019
- Yeah, her.
- Yeah, no, thanks.
1595
01:18:35,041 --> 01:18:36,358
Armpit hair is natural.
1596
01:18:36,458 --> 01:18:38,750
Nature's the most natural
thing out here. Come on.
1597
01:18:39,500 --> 01:18:40,483
Just give me
three minutes.
1598
01:18:40,583 --> 01:18:43,561
You have some kind of fuckup
amnesia or something, huh?
1599
01:18:43,583 --> 01:18:45,290
Do you remember what happened
the last time you did this?
1600
01:18:45,312 --> 01:18:47,186
You almost had a broken
bottle shoved up your ass.
1601
01:18:47,208 --> 01:18:49,207
Yeah, that's 'cause you pitched
your condom to a drug lord.
1602
01:18:49,229 --> 01:18:50,957
Okay,
Curt liked the product.
1603
01:18:50,979 --> 01:18:52,025
Hey.
1604
01:18:52,125 --> 01:18:53,358
Oh, are you coming, too?
1605
01:18:53,458 --> 01:18:54,978
Yeah.
1606
01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:56,915
So there's a perfect
lovemaking spot.
1607
01:18:56,937 --> 01:18:58,625
It's right up here.
1608
01:18:59,166 --> 01:19:01,686
Have you seen the
bottoms of her feet?
1609
01:19:01,708 --> 01:19:03,582
They look like burnt
baked potatoes.
1610
01:19:03,604 --> 01:19:05,228
I'm not fucking her feet.
1611
01:19:05,250 --> 01:19:07,249
Well, I mean, I might, but let's-let's
just see where the night goes.
1612
01:19:07,271 --> 01:19:08,566
Come on. Live a little.
1613
01:19:08,666 --> 01:19:10,436
Guys.
1614
01:19:10,458 --> 01:19:12,666
- Brad... Okay.
- Come on, check this out.
1615
01:19:17,791 --> 01:19:19,540
This the lovemaking spot?
1616
01:19:19,562 --> 01:19:20,650
- Yeah.
- Oh.
1617
01:19:20,750 --> 01:19:22,790
Also where we keep
the poachers we catch.
1618
01:19:22,812 --> 01:19:24,915
What the fuck?!
1619
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:28,624
We hang them there
as a warning to others.
1620
01:19:28,646 --> 01:19:30,958
Right on.
1621
01:19:31,708 --> 01:19:35,186
What, um, did they do to--
the poaching with?
1622
01:19:35,208 --> 01:19:37,540
How'd they--
Why are they dead?
1623
01:19:37,562 --> 01:19:40,083
Black caimans, mostly.
1624
01:19:40,791 --> 01:19:42,066
Black caimans?
1625
01:19:42,166 --> 01:19:44,000
Yeah, they're kind
of like alligators.
1626
01:19:44,875 --> 01:19:46,415
- Told you.
- You said alligator,
1627
01:19:46,437 --> 01:19:47,957
- not alligator-adjacent.
- Okay.
1628
01:19:47,979 --> 01:19:51,103
They're beautiful,
majestic reptiles.
1629
01:19:51,125 --> 01:19:52,483
Highly endangered.
1630
01:19:52,583 --> 01:19:54,874
And these poachers are
killing them for their claws.
1631
01:19:54,896 --> 01:19:57,040
Wait, so you-you... you
guys kill the poachers?
1632
01:19:57,062 --> 01:19:58,150
Yeah, we had to.
1633
01:19:58,250 --> 01:20:00,374
We tried the peaceful
path, but it never worked,
1634
01:20:00,396 --> 01:20:02,936
so now it's an
eye for an eye.
1635
01:20:02,958 --> 01:20:06,082
You kill one of the animals we
came here to protect, we kill you.
1636
01:20:06,104 --> 01:20:08,374
That simple.
Nobody gets to negotiate.
1637
01:20:08,396 --> 01:20:10,311
Eh, nobody?
1638
01:20:10,333 --> 01:20:11,650
What if you're
the Pope or...?
1639
01:20:11,750 --> 01:20:14,290
Nobody! You could be
Greta fucking Thunberg,
1640
01:20:14,312 --> 01:20:17,625
but if you kill one of these
animals, you are dead! Dead!
1641
01:20:20,666 --> 01:20:22,458
Now let's get our fuck on.
1642
01:20:23,041 --> 01:20:24,316
Um...
1643
01:20:24,416 --> 01:20:25,650
with them watching?
1644
01:20:25,750 --> 01:20:29,582
Oh, I know, but in some ways, it's
kind of like we're honoring them,
1645
01:20:29,604 --> 01:20:30,816
and them us.
1646
01:20:30,916 --> 01:20:33,207
By letting them
dead-watch us fuck?
1647
01:20:33,229 --> 01:20:36,124
Yeah, I call them
the Dead Poachers Society.
1648
01:20:36,146 --> 01:20:38,644
Sorry,
speaking of watching,
1649
01:20:38,666 --> 01:20:40,707
is that a camera?
The little...?
1650
01:20:40,729 --> 01:20:41,816
Oh, yeah.
1651
01:20:41,916 --> 01:20:44,353
Yeah, we have cameras
all over the jungle.
1652
01:20:44,375 --> 01:20:46,478
Oh, but nobody's
watching us right now.
1653
01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:48,624
They're reviewing today's
footage for poachers
1654
01:20:48,646 --> 01:20:52,249
because we lost a signal on one
of our favorite caimans, Morey.
1655
01:20:52,271 --> 01:20:54,500
So he had a name.
1656
01:20:55,833 --> 01:20:57,894
Uh, would you excuse
us for a second?
1657
01:20:57,916 --> 01:20:58,900
Where are you going?
1658
01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:01,040
I'm just gonna go
put on a condom.
1659
01:21:01,062 --> 01:21:02,561
I can put it on for you.
1660
01:21:02,583 --> 01:21:05,186
Oh, well, the... the thing
is, this is really hard
1661
01:21:05,208 --> 01:21:06,811
'cause you got to put the
nuts in and everything.
1662
01:21:06,833 --> 01:21:08,415
- He'll give me a hand.
- No, no, it's not hard.
1663
01:21:08,437 --> 01:21:09,816
They slip right in.
1664
01:21:09,916 --> 01:21:11,644
I'm shy.
1665
01:21:11,666 --> 01:21:14,207
Then just say that. Don't
besmirch the product.
1666
01:21:14,229 --> 01:21:15,441
We'll be right back.
1667
01:21:15,541 --> 01:21:17,916
- All right.
- All right.
1668
01:21:19,541 --> 01:21:21,207
You have any run
left in those legs?
1669
01:21:21,229 --> 01:21:23,124
I'd fucking better.
Come on, come on.
1670
01:21:25,375 --> 01:21:27,186
- God!
- Oh, no, no, no.
1671
01:21:27,208 --> 01:21:29,249
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
1672
01:21:29,271 --> 01:21:30,811
Oh, my God.
1673
01:21:30,833 --> 01:21:32,957
This claw is delicious.
You got to try this.
1674
01:21:32,979 --> 01:21:34,769
Come on.
1675
01:21:34,791 --> 01:21:36,191
Damn it, Janet!
1676
01:21:36,291 --> 01:21:37,691
- No, that's...
- The claw's the best part.
1677
01:21:37,791 --> 01:21:39,332
The claw's the best part.
Let me high-five that.
1678
01:21:39,354 --> 01:21:42,749
Fuck! Julie's gonna make
us go kill them now.
1679
01:21:42,771 --> 01:21:44,108
Yoip.
1680
01:21:44,208 --> 01:21:45,894
- "Yoip"?!
- Well...
1681
01:21:45,916 --> 01:21:48,582
"Yoip"? That's all you got
to fucking say is "yoip"?
1682
01:21:48,604 --> 01:21:50,811
I'm losing my mind
out here, man.
1683
01:21:50,833 --> 01:21:54,915
Dude, I came here to protect the
jungle, do ayahuasca and fuck Julie,
1684
01:21:54,937 --> 01:21:57,478
- not murder poachers!
- Yeah, me, too, man.
1685
01:21:57,500 --> 01:21:59,853
- She doesn't even bone us.
- This sucks, man.
1686
01:21:59,875 --> 01:22:01,874
She's literally boning
everyone but us.
1687
01:22:01,896 --> 01:22:03,457
Okay, not everyone.
1688
01:22:03,479 --> 01:22:05,333
Everyone.
1689
01:22:05,916 --> 01:22:07,540
♪ Yarimoey? ♪
1690
01:22:07,562 --> 01:22:09,728
Yep, Yarimoey.
1691
01:22:09,750 --> 01:22:11,665
He is like a
hundred years old!
1692
01:22:11,687 --> 01:22:13,644
What the fuck
is she thinking?
1693
01:22:13,666 --> 01:22:16,957
Dude, I know, and she told
me he has a split penis.
1694
01:22:16,979 --> 01:22:18,603
What does that mean?
1695
01:22:18,625 --> 01:22:20,832
Like he split it himself
or it's that old?
1696
01:22:20,854 --> 01:22:22,603
God, what happened to her,
man?
1697
01:22:22,625 --> 01:22:24,686
She was super dope
back in Calabasas.
1698
01:22:24,708 --> 01:22:27,478
Now she's fucking split-cocks
and killing poachers?
1699
01:22:27,500 --> 01:22:30,415
Hey, have you guys seen those two
dudes? We were just about to smash,
1700
01:22:30,437 --> 01:22:31,816
and then they--
1701
01:22:31,916 --> 01:22:33,832
I would never steer you
wrong when it comes to food.
1702
01:22:33,854 --> 01:22:35,561
- Mm-hmm.
- What the fuck?
1703
01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:36,816
- Yoop.
- You know what also?
1704
01:22:36,916 --> 01:22:38,499
- What?
- It's a great back scratcher.
1705
01:22:38,521 --> 01:22:39,775
Let me try, let me try.
1706
01:22:39,875 --> 01:22:41,233
Look at that. Oh.
1707
01:22:41,333 --> 01:22:43,061
I can comb your hair.
1708
01:22:43,083 --> 01:22:44,233
Let me, let me,
let me do it.
1709
01:22:44,333 --> 01:22:46,707
- Were you going to tell me about this?
- Yeah, of course.
1710
01:22:46,729 --> 01:22:48,108
- Yeah.
- We were just about to go
1711
01:22:48,208 --> 01:22:50,499
- kill those fuckers.
- They are fucking dead.
1712
01:22:50,521 --> 01:22:52,228
They are fucking dead men,
Julie!
1713
01:22:52,250 --> 01:22:54,332
- You said it right! You said it right!
- Right.
1714
01:23:00,291 --> 01:23:02,332
A raft. There's a raft.
1715
01:23:02,354 --> 01:23:04,625
Come on.
1716
01:23:11,416 --> 01:23:12,608
Push.
1717
01:23:12,708 --> 01:23:14,250
Go, go, go, go!
1718
01:23:21,833 --> 01:23:24,291
Kill them!
1719
01:23:29,541 --> 01:23:31,416
Shit.
1720
01:23:32,541 --> 01:23:34,791
What the fuck?
1721
01:23:36,750 --> 01:23:38,025
We got to start paddling
1722
01:23:38,125 --> 01:23:40,666
or we're gonna be strung
up, dead-watching her fuck!
1723
01:23:44,750 --> 01:23:47,833
We're gonna string you up,
you bastards!
1724
01:23:49,833 --> 01:23:51,832
Keep firing!
1725
01:23:51,854 --> 01:23:54,040
Oh!
1726
01:23:55,208 --> 01:23:57,249
- Ow.
- You ball-less fucking idiots.
1727
01:23:57,271 --> 01:23:58,483
You let them escape.
1728
01:23:58,583 --> 01:24:00,228
You wonder why I
won't fuck you?
1729
01:24:00,250 --> 01:24:02,332
- We weren't wondering that.
- The fuck you weren't.
1730
01:24:02,354 --> 01:24:04,853
We heard you in the hut.
Everybody heard you.
1731
01:24:04,875 --> 01:24:06,191
Okay,
we were wondering that.
1732
01:24:06,291 --> 01:24:08,207
Fuck's sake.
Come on, Yarimoey.
1733
01:24:08,229 --> 01:24:09,441
♪ Yarimoey ♪
1734
01:24:09,541 --> 01:24:11,269
Shut the fuck up.
1735
01:24:11,291 --> 01:24:13,499
I got to fuck this
rage out of my body.
1736
01:24:13,521 --> 01:24:15,165
Ooh.
1737
01:24:24,250 --> 01:24:26,332
♪ All of our love ♪
1738
01:24:26,354 --> 01:24:28,436
Yeah, still no bars.
1739
01:24:28,458 --> 01:24:32,290
♪ filling all of our
room, your low warm voice...
1740
01:24:32,312 --> 01:24:34,686
I'm gonna be different.
1741
01:24:34,708 --> 01:24:36,832
- If we ever make it out of here alive.
- Stop it.
1742
01:24:36,854 --> 01:24:38,436
I'm serious.
1743
01:24:38,458 --> 01:24:39,978
I'm not messing around.
1744
01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:42,791
You watch, I'm gonna add a
little steak to my sizzle.
1745
01:24:46,583 --> 01:24:49,833
Maybe I'll add a little
sizzle to my steak.
1746
01:24:52,250 --> 01:24:54,125
Hey, Brad?
1747
01:24:55,625 --> 01:24:57,707
We're going to die
out here, aren't we?
1748
01:24:57,729 --> 01:25:00,103
Oh, a hundred percent.
1749
01:25:00,125 --> 01:25:02,207
It's a fucking fact.
1750
01:25:07,875 --> 01:25:10,791
Oh.
1751
01:25:19,750 --> 01:25:22,583
These condoms actually make
pretty good pillows, huh?
1752
01:25:24,250 --> 01:25:26,561
Courtesy buffet.
1753
01:25:26,583 --> 01:25:29,061
You want some more
coconut water?
1754
01:25:29,083 --> 01:25:31,457
Nah, I'm good.
Actually, I got to pee.
1755
01:25:40,458 --> 01:25:42,124
Ooh.
1756
01:25:45,916 --> 01:25:47,665
What's wrong?
1757
01:25:47,687 --> 01:25:49,644
Stage fright.
1758
01:25:49,666 --> 01:25:51,811
Can you just, uh,
turn the other way?
1759
01:25:51,833 --> 01:25:54,165
You have your back to me.
How do you know I'm looking?
1760
01:25:54,187 --> 01:25:55,958
I can feel you staring.
1761
01:25:58,166 --> 01:26:00,083
Actually, you know what?
1762
01:26:01,166 --> 01:26:05,103
We should probably
save our pee.
1763
01:26:05,125 --> 01:26:06,525
In case we run
out of water,
1764
01:26:06,625 --> 01:26:08,353
we don't want to
die of thirst.
1765
01:26:08,375 --> 01:26:10,415
What are you talking about?
You can't drink your piss.
1766
01:26:10,437 --> 01:26:14,124
I don't want your piss sloshing
around the raft, so just dump it out.
1767
01:26:14,146 --> 01:26:16,519
You know, urine is
completely sterile.
1768
01:26:16,541 --> 01:26:18,915
I don't care.
Dump it out. It's nasty.
1769
01:26:20,500 --> 01:26:22,791
Okay.
1770
01:26:24,875 --> 01:26:26,150
Oh, dude.
1771
01:26:26,250 --> 01:26:28,124
Look at these minnows.
They're drinking my pee.
1772
01:26:28,146 --> 01:26:30,582
What?
1773
01:26:31,208 --> 01:26:33,375
Look at this.
1774
01:26:33,875 --> 01:26:35,561
Holy shit.
1775
01:26:35,583 --> 01:26:37,165
Little piss fish.
1776
01:26:37,187 --> 01:26:38,483
Dumb bastards.
1777
01:26:38,583 --> 01:26:40,332
Oh,
it's like they're smiling.
1778
01:26:40,354 --> 01:26:41,608
Oh, wait a minute.
1779
01:26:41,708 --> 01:26:44,707
I read about these things
in National Geographic.
1780
01:26:44,729 --> 01:26:46,769
Holy shit,
1781
01:26:46,791 --> 01:26:48,790
did I just dodge a bullet.
1782
01:26:48,812 --> 01:26:50,625
Hmm?
1783
01:26:53,666 --> 01:26:55,936
Pull it out. Pull it out.
1784
01:26:55,958 --> 01:26:57,978
You pull it out.
It's your penis.
1785
01:26:58,000 --> 01:26:59,025
Oh, God, I can't.
1786
01:26:59,125 --> 01:27:01,124
I got to squeeze with both
hands, or it's going upstream.
1787
01:27:01,146 --> 01:27:02,957
This thing is
really determined.
1788
01:27:02,979 --> 01:27:05,207
Please, please, get it.
1789
01:27:05,229 --> 01:27:06,811
Oh, God.
1790
01:27:06,833 --> 01:27:08,025
Please, please,
please, please.
1791
01:27:08,125 --> 01:27:09,874
You got to get it.
Get it. Get it.
1792
01:27:09,896 --> 01:27:12,249
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
Don't move, don't move.
1793
01:27:14,875 --> 01:27:17,186
It's too slippery.
I can't get a grip.
1794
01:27:17,208 --> 01:27:20,228
Maybe if you get hard, you
could, like, strangle it.
1795
01:27:20,250 --> 01:27:23,040
What? How am I supposed to get
hard? I got a fish in my dick!
1796
01:27:23,062 --> 01:27:24,686
Uh, use your imagination.
1797
01:27:24,708 --> 01:27:26,269
Wh-What's your
biggest fantasy?
1798
01:27:26,291 --> 01:27:28,457
Right now it's not having
a fish in my dick!
1799
01:27:28,479 --> 01:27:32,019
Okay, yelling has
never inspired anybody
1800
01:27:32,041 --> 01:27:34,374
to get a fish out of
their friend's dick.
1801
01:27:34,396 --> 01:27:36,290
- Use your teeth.
- Use my...?
1802
01:27:36,312 --> 01:27:37,483
Use your teeth.
1803
01:27:37,583 --> 01:27:38,816
- Oh, go on.
- No.
1804
01:27:38,916 --> 01:27:40,275
Get the fucking thing now!
1805
01:27:40,375 --> 01:27:41,483
You use your teeth!
1806
01:27:41,583 --> 01:27:43,811
How? How? How? Tell me.
1807
01:27:43,833 --> 01:27:46,436
Uh, stretch your dick out
and lean forward.
1808
01:27:46,458 --> 01:27:48,624
Don't you think if I could
reach my mouth to my dick,
1809
01:27:48,646 --> 01:27:50,566
I would know that by now?
1810
01:27:50,666 --> 01:27:52,228
Please, Lij,
I'm begging you.
1811
01:27:52,250 --> 01:27:55,082
You're my only hope. I need
you to be a man right now!
1812
01:27:55,104 --> 01:27:58,624
Elijah, please, please, I'm
begging you. I'm begging you.
1813
01:27:58,646 --> 01:28:00,499
Oh, God.
1814
01:28:02,541 --> 01:28:05,644
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
1815
01:28:05,666 --> 01:28:07,332
- Oh, yeah. Oh...
- Stop saying "yeah."
1816
01:28:07,354 --> 01:28:08,316
Sorry.
1817
01:28:08,416 --> 01:28:10,019
Oh.
1818
01:28:10,041 --> 01:28:12,375
Oh, God.
1819
01:28:12,541 --> 01:28:14,999
Oh, oh.
1820
01:28:18,416 --> 01:28:20,311
Don't touch me.
1821
01:28:20,333 --> 01:28:23,103
- We never speak--
- Speak of this again.
1822
01:28:23,125 --> 01:28:25,082
Right back at you,
sailor boy.
1823
01:28:25,104 --> 01:28:27,083
Oh, God.
1824
01:28:28,500 --> 01:28:32,375
I just... I just need to
be alone for a minute.
1825
01:28:45,750 --> 01:28:47,666
We have
located the targets.
1826
01:29:05,416 --> 01:29:08,311
Boat! Boat!
1827
01:29:08,333 --> 01:29:10,186
Brad! Brad!
1828
01:29:10,208 --> 01:29:12,457
Boat, boat. Get up. Boat.
1829
01:29:12,479 --> 01:29:13,816
Hey!
1830
01:29:13,916 --> 01:29:15,275
- Oh, shit.
- Hey!
1831
01:29:15,375 --> 01:29:16,733
- Hey! Hey!
- Hey!
1832
01:29:16,833 --> 01:29:18,915
- Hey, we're saved. Hey!
- Hey!
1833
01:29:18,937 --> 01:29:20,936
- Hey. Hey.
- Whoo!
1834
01:29:20,958 --> 01:29:22,749
- Over here!
- We're alive!
1835
01:29:22,771 --> 01:29:24,957
Hey!
1836
01:29:27,666 --> 01:29:29,832
Jesus Christ. It's
Jessel Cristo.
1837
01:29:29,854 --> 01:29:31,853
Fuck!
1838
01:29:31,875 --> 01:29:34,499
Start paddling.
Start paddling!
1839
01:29:34,521 --> 01:29:36,249
Out of the way.
1840
01:29:36,271 --> 01:29:37,957
Paddle.
1841
01:29:41,583 --> 01:29:43,290
- Oh, my God.
- Come on!
1842
01:29:43,312 --> 01:29:45,583
What the...?
1843
01:29:56,541 --> 01:29:58,353
Estúpidos, indeed.
1844
01:29:58,375 --> 01:29:59,691
Get in the boat.
1845
01:29:59,791 --> 01:30:03,144
What, to give us one of those
free-to-go bullshit speeches?
1846
01:30:03,166 --> 01:30:05,499
You know, I'm not one to
use the Lord's name in vain,
1847
01:30:05,521 --> 01:30:07,603
but fuck you,
Jessel Cristo.
1848
01:30:07,625 --> 01:30:09,415
Do you have any
idea where you are?
1849
01:30:09,437 --> 01:30:13,728
Oh, my greatest
fear is injustice
1850
01:30:13,750 --> 01:30:16,832
visited upon
undeserving peoples.
1851
01:30:16,854 --> 01:30:19,374
Particularly on my watch.
1852
01:30:19,396 --> 01:30:23,333
No unjust thing
will happens to you.
1853
01:30:25,041 --> 01:30:28,208
That... Was the accent
a-a little racist?
1854
01:30:29,291 --> 01:30:31,478
- Right on the line.
- Sorry.
1855
01:30:31,500 --> 01:30:33,165
I'm exploring the sizzle.
1856
01:30:33,187 --> 01:30:36,061
Okay, here's what's
going to happen.
1857
01:30:36,083 --> 01:30:38,103
You are coming
back with me,
1858
01:30:38,125 --> 01:30:39,832
you are going to
be found guilty
1859
01:30:39,854 --> 01:30:43,103
of shattering the dreams
of half a billion people,
1860
01:30:43,125 --> 01:30:46,624
you are going to go to prison
and do hard labor for a year,
1861
01:30:46,646 --> 01:30:49,394
and then,
if you live through this,
1862
01:30:49,416 --> 01:30:51,374
you will be
free to go home.
1863
01:30:51,396 --> 01:30:53,311
No. Nope.
1864
01:30:53,333 --> 01:30:55,915
No, here's what's gonna
happen, El General.
1865
01:30:55,937 --> 01:31:00,915
You are going to paddle your puny green
bathtub back to wherever you came from
1866
01:31:00,937 --> 01:31:04,228
and deliver a message
from Os Estúpidos.
1867
01:31:04,250 --> 01:31:06,249
You tell the
people of Brazil
1868
01:31:06,271 --> 01:31:10,290
and the rest of the soccer-humping
community in the world,
1869
01:31:10,312 --> 01:31:14,457
you tell them that
we are very, very sorry,
1870
01:31:14,479 --> 01:31:18,458
but it is only a game.
1871
01:31:20,375 --> 01:31:22,375
And we're done
paying for it.
1872
01:31:28,041 --> 01:31:29,275
Fine.
1873
01:31:29,375 --> 01:31:32,082
I'll pass along your
heartfelt apology.
1874
01:31:32,104 --> 01:31:36,144
I'll also tell them what
happened after you apologized.
1875
01:31:36,166 --> 01:31:39,499
That you and your esteemed
colleague escaped to the ocean
1876
01:31:39,521 --> 01:31:44,041
on your intrepid wooden
raft down the Iguazú River.
1877
01:31:44,625 --> 01:31:46,582
I like it.
We'd be like folk heroes.
1878
01:31:46,604 --> 01:31:48,790
It's a win-win. Deal.
1879
01:31:48,812 --> 01:31:50,775
Thank you.
1880
01:31:50,875 --> 01:31:53,249
Let's go, Paulo!
1881
01:32:05,416 --> 01:32:07,811
Did you see
the look on his face?
1882
01:32:07,833 --> 01:32:09,749
That took testículos,
my friend.
1883
01:32:09,771 --> 01:32:13,082
I'm not used to testículos.
I want to do that more often.
1884
01:32:13,104 --> 01:32:15,436
Oh. Whoo!
1885
01:32:15,458 --> 01:32:16,483
Hey, wait a minute.
1886
01:32:16,583 --> 01:32:19,082
What did he... what did
he just call the river?
1887
01:32:19,104 --> 01:32:22,791
I think he called it the
Ig-Iguazú or something.
1888
01:32:23,416 --> 01:32:25,186
You remember
Contrails magazine?
1889
01:32:25,208 --> 01:32:27,957
- It had a little profile on...
- The Iguazú River?
1890
01:32:27,979 --> 01:32:31,019
No, it wasn't the
Iguazú River.
1891
01:32:31,041 --> 01:32:33,186
It was the Iguazú Falls.
1892
01:32:33,208 --> 01:32:34,874
The largest waterfall.
1893
01:32:37,083 --> 01:32:39,103
In Brazil?
1894
01:32:39,125 --> 01:32:40,957
No, in the world.
1895
01:32:47,083 --> 01:32:49,124
- We got to get to shore!
- Well, fuck.
1896
01:32:49,146 --> 01:32:51,233
Come on.
1897
01:32:51,333 --> 01:32:53,316
Come on.
1898
01:32:53,416 --> 01:32:55,583
The fucking oar
is not doing anything.
1899
01:32:56,583 --> 01:32:57,775
- Ah.
- Come on.
1900
01:32:57,875 --> 01:32:59,500
Oh, my God!
1901
01:33:00,250 --> 01:33:01,650
Oh, shit.
1902
01:33:01,750 --> 01:33:04,041
It's supposed to turn.
Why isn't it turning?
1903
01:33:05,458 --> 01:33:07,165
This thing barely
fucking moves.
1904
01:33:07,187 --> 01:33:08,749
Quick, condoms.
1905
01:33:08,771 --> 01:33:09,941
What?
1906
01:33:10,041 --> 01:33:12,499
Flotation devices.
1907
01:33:16,500 --> 01:33:18,191
Oh.
1908
01:33:18,291 --> 01:33:20,708
You ready?
1909
01:33:38,416 --> 01:33:40,875
Brad!
1910
01:33:41,708 --> 01:33:43,332
Brad!
1911
01:33:46,416 --> 01:33:48,250
Brad!
1912
01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:52,582
Brad, Brad.
1913
01:33:52,604 --> 01:33:55,019
Brad.
1914
01:33:55,041 --> 01:33:56,915
Brad, it's okay, buddy.
1915
01:34:21,541 --> 01:34:23,666
Oh, buddy.
1916
01:34:25,333 --> 01:34:27,540
Come on, Brad.
Yeah, yeah, spit it out.
1917
01:34:27,562 --> 01:34:28,691
Come on, buddy.
1918
01:34:28,791 --> 01:34:31,208
Breathe, breathe.
1919
01:34:33,541 --> 01:34:35,833
Oh. Breathe,
Brad, breathe!
1920
01:34:36,791 --> 01:34:39,165
Uh...
1921
01:34:41,000 --> 01:34:42,358
Oh, Brad.
1922
01:34:42,458 --> 01:34:44,103
Brad, yeah, yeah.
1923
01:34:44,125 --> 01:34:45,790
Get it out, buddy.
Get it out, get it out.
1924
01:34:45,812 --> 01:34:47,811
Oh.
1925
01:34:47,833 --> 01:34:49,874
Hey, you're germ-free,
right?
1926
01:34:49,896 --> 01:34:52,040
- Seriously?
- Shut up.
1927
01:34:52,062 --> 01:34:53,832
Did you hear that?
1928
01:34:53,854 --> 01:34:55,707
- What?
- Oh, no.
1929
01:34:55,729 --> 01:34:58,082
Oh, shit.
1930
01:34:59,416 --> 01:35:01,603
Oh!
1931
01:35:01,625 --> 01:35:03,958
You got to be
fucking kidding me!
1932
01:35:05,500 --> 01:35:07,082
Oh.
1933
01:35:10,291 --> 01:35:12,061
Wait, please!
1934
01:35:12,083 --> 01:35:14,374
No, no, no.
No, hold your fire.
1935
01:35:14,396 --> 01:35:16,707
Wait. Hold up, please.
1936
01:35:16,729 --> 01:35:18,066
Don't shoot.
1937
01:35:18,166 --> 01:35:20,358
Don't take him.
1938
01:35:20,458 --> 01:35:21,978
Take me.
1939
01:35:22,000 --> 01:35:23,853
- Come on, man.
- No.
1940
01:35:23,875 --> 01:35:25,478
What's done is done.
1941
01:35:25,500 --> 01:35:27,249
This good man
is not to blame.
1942
01:35:27,271 --> 01:35:29,519
Is he a bit of a tool?
Absolutely.
1943
01:35:29,541 --> 01:35:32,207
But he's got a lot of new
amazing stuff to invent.
1944
01:35:32,229 --> 01:35:35,228
And if I know Elijah,
and I think I do,
1945
01:35:35,250 --> 01:35:38,019
testicles won't be the only
thing he ends up saving.
1946
01:35:38,041 --> 01:35:39,957
So if you've got to
serve some justice,
1947
01:35:39,979 --> 01:35:41,874
serve it to me.
1948
01:35:41,896 --> 01:35:44,436
Hey. Hey.
1949
01:35:44,458 --> 01:35:48,333
I am really sorry I made such a big deal
out of sucking the fish out of your dick.
1950
01:35:49,875 --> 01:35:53,915
Relax. The Iguazú is
more than just a river.
1951
01:35:53,937 --> 01:35:56,041
It's a border.
1952
01:35:56,166 --> 01:35:58,291
Welcome to...
1953
01:36:00,375 --> 01:36:01,691
Uruguay?
1954
01:36:01,791 --> 01:36:02,941
- Oh, my God, we're in Uruguay?
- No.
1955
01:36:03,041 --> 01:36:04,811
No, we're not.
1956
01:36:04,833 --> 01:36:06,728
That's Argentina!
1957
01:36:06,750 --> 01:36:09,041
Our flags are
very similar.
1958
01:36:09,916 --> 01:36:12,457
My country has been
trying to save you two
1959
01:36:12,479 --> 01:36:14,332
since the moment
you saved us.
1960
01:36:14,354 --> 01:36:15,608
Really?
1961
01:36:15,708 --> 01:36:17,108
Well,
you could've fooled us.
1962
01:36:17,208 --> 01:36:19,957
Yeah, wh-where the hell
have you guys been?
1963
01:36:19,979 --> 01:36:22,333
Oh, where have we been?
1964
01:36:24,541 --> 01:36:26,541
- Oh.
- What the...?
1965
01:36:27,541 --> 01:36:29,394
Antonia? How...?
1966
01:36:29,416 --> 01:36:31,457
My name is Isadora Cortez,
and I'm an officer
1967
01:36:31,479 --> 01:36:33,625
with the Agencia
Federal de Inteligencia.
1968
01:36:34,708 --> 01:36:36,769
You're a spy?
1969
01:36:36,791 --> 01:36:40,457
Since the moment you were arrested,
I've been running Operation Estúpidos.
1970
01:36:40,479 --> 01:36:41,733
- Huh?
- Guys...
1971
01:36:41,833 --> 01:36:43,936
all you had to do was
listen to me at the jail,
1972
01:36:43,958 --> 01:36:45,999
but you fired me before
you even heard my plan.
1973
01:36:46,021 --> 01:36:47,191
I-I didn't fire you.
1974
01:36:47,291 --> 01:36:49,353
- He fired you.
- To protect her.
1975
01:36:49,375 --> 01:36:52,769
Wow, it's absolutely true--
no good deed goes unpunished.
1976
01:36:52,791 --> 01:36:53,983
- I told you.
- Awesome.
1977
01:36:54,083 --> 01:36:57,582
We had a multimember extraction team
waiting to whisk you two out of Brazil,
1978
01:36:57,604 --> 01:36:59,936
but you were always
one step ahead of us.
1979
01:36:59,958 --> 01:37:02,707
Wait a second. Was that, was that
the crowd chasing us down the alley?
1980
01:37:02,729 --> 01:37:04,249
No,
that was the Brazilians.
1981
01:37:04,271 --> 01:37:05,358
Oh, good.
1982
01:37:05,458 --> 01:37:07,790
But we were there when Pavio
Curto was about to kill you
1983
01:37:07,812 --> 01:37:09,108
with that cachaça bottle.
1984
01:37:09,208 --> 01:37:11,061
- That was you guys?
- Of course.
1985
01:37:11,083 --> 01:37:14,040
Why did you guys run into
the jungle after we shot him?
1986
01:37:14,062 --> 01:37:16,665
Curt said it was
a rival drug gang.
1987
01:37:16,687 --> 01:37:18,644
That fucking liar.
1988
01:37:18,666 --> 01:37:21,624
Then we lost your cell phone
signal and feared you were dead.
1989
01:37:21,646 --> 01:37:24,040
Our entire country
has been praying for you.
1990
01:37:24,062 --> 01:37:26,082
You guys were
praying for us?
1991
01:37:28,250 --> 01:37:30,415
Well, I guess our prayers
have been answered.
1992
01:37:30,437 --> 01:37:32,790
¡Los Genios! ¡Vamos!
1993
01:37:34,291 --> 01:37:35,275
¡Argentina!
1994
01:37:35,375 --> 01:37:37,832
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
1995
01:37:37,854 --> 01:37:41,978
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
¡Argentina!
1996
01:37:42,000 --> 01:37:45,165
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
¡Argentina!
1997
01:37:45,187 --> 01:37:49,228
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
¡Argentina!
1998
01:37:49,250 --> 01:37:51,249
I'm not just the designer.
1999
01:37:51,271 --> 01:37:52,832
I'm also a client.
2000
01:37:54,750 --> 01:37:58,582
Your os testículos
will never be the same.
2001
01:37:58,604 --> 01:38:01,103
Los testículos.
2002
01:38:01,125 --> 01:38:02,853
You're in Buenos
Aires now.
2003
01:38:02,875 --> 01:38:06,874
And do you know what is better than
being the condom of the World Cup?
2004
01:38:06,896 --> 01:38:10,333
Being the official condom
of an entire country.
2005
01:38:11,875 --> 01:38:13,874
Tens milliones, por favor.
2006
01:38:17,333 --> 01:38:21,291
¡Argentina!
¡Argentina! ¡Argentina!
2007
01:38:32,208 --> 01:38:33,749
Yeah!
2008
01:38:38,083 --> 01:38:39,316
Whoo!
2009
01:38:39,416 --> 01:38:41,750
Hey!
2010
01:38:58,875 --> 01:39:02,582
A wise man once said,
"Futebol is science:
2011
01:39:02,604 --> 01:39:05,519
mathematics,
physics, chemistry.
2012
01:39:05,541 --> 01:39:07,707
But also the humanities:
2013
01:39:07,729 --> 01:39:10,291
art, music, poetry."
2014
01:39:12,291 --> 01:39:14,207
"It is also love,
2015
01:39:14,229 --> 01:39:17,374
family, community,"
2016
01:39:17,396 --> 01:39:20,144
orange slices...
2017
01:39:20,166 --> 01:39:22,790
and the greatest
game in the world.
2018
01:39:25,041 --> 01:39:27,915
As for us,
we settled into Argentina
2019
01:39:27,937 --> 01:39:30,894
like testículos
into the Balls Up.
2020
01:39:30,916 --> 01:39:32,936
Put that on our
gravestones.
2021
01:39:32,958 --> 01:39:34,874
So,
we're getting gravestones?
2022
01:39:34,896 --> 01:39:36,707
Uh,
better than gravestones.
2023
01:39:36,729 --> 01:39:39,228
{\an8}♪ Pick it up,
pick it up ♪
2024
01:39:39,250 --> 01:39:41,207
{\an8}♪ Pick it up,
pick it up ♪
2025
01:39:41,229 --> 01:39:45,415
{\an8}♪ In the middle of
a low-light kaleidoscope ♪
2026
01:39:45,437 --> 01:39:49,624
♪ we been listening to a
heart radio for the soul ♪
2027
01:39:49,646 --> 01:39:52,269
♪ For the soul ♪
2028
01:39:52,291 --> 01:39:55,290
{\an8}♪ Don't stop moving,
feel the shock within ♪
2029
01:39:55,312 --> 01:39:59,144
{\an8}♪ Shattered love,
the love ♪
2030
01:39:59,166 --> 01:40:02,874
{\an8}♪ Now don't stop moving,
don't you let them win ♪
2031
01:40:02,896 --> 01:40:04,999
{\an8}♪
Shattered love ♪
2032
01:40:05,021 --> 01:40:12,019
{\an8}♪ The love,
now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow ♪
2033
01:40:12,041 --> 01:40:15,749
{\an8}♪ This time, we're
going through changes ♪
2034
01:40:15,771 --> 01:40:18,624
{\an8}♪ This time
not like bеfore ♪
2035
01:40:18,646 --> 01:40:21,832
{\an8}♪ This time,
we're going places ♪
2036
01:40:21,854 --> 01:40:26,332
{\an8}♪ Letting go, letting
go, letting go, letting go ♪
2037
01:40:26,354 --> 01:40:29,978
{\an8}♪ This time,
we gonna embrace it ♪
2038
01:40:30,000 --> 01:40:33,019
{\an8}♪ This time,
I'll love you more ♪
2039
01:40:33,041 --> 01:40:35,957
{\an8}♪ This time, we're
going through changes ♪
2040
01:40:35,979 --> 01:40:40,415
{\an8}♪ Letting go, letting
go, letting go, letting go ♪
2041
01:40:57,125 --> 01:41:01,040
{\an8}♪ We pushing deep
down, far to the inner core ♪
2042
01:41:01,062 --> 01:41:05,957
{\an8}♪ You and I are finding
something never found before ♪
2043
01:41:05,979 --> 01:41:08,311
{\an8}♪ Before ♪
2044
01:41:08,333 --> 01:41:12,644
{\an8}♪ Pick it up, pick it
up, pick it up, pick it up ♪
2045
01:41:12,666 --> 01:41:16,332
{\an8}♪ Hear the echo of our
voice in the valley below ♪
2046
01:41:16,354 --> 01:41:21,165
{\an8}♪ We are calling your
name, come on and lose control ♪
2047
01:41:21,187 --> 01:41:23,561
{\an8}♪ Control ♪
2048
01:41:23,583 --> 01:41:26,707
{\an8}♪ Don't stop moving,
don't you let them win ♪
2049
01:41:26,729 --> 01:41:28,874
{\an8}♪
Shattered love ♪
2050
01:41:28,896 --> 01:41:34,958
{\an8}♪ The love,
now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow ♪
2051
01:41:36,000 --> 01:41:39,499
{\an8}♪ This time, we're
going through changes ♪
2052
01:41:39,521 --> 01:41:42,436
{\an8}♪ This time
not like before ♪
2053
01:41:42,458 --> 01:41:45,457
{\an8}♪ This time,
we're going places ♪
2054
01:41:45,479 --> 01:41:50,124
{\an8}♪ Letting go, letting
go, letting go, letting go ♪
2055
01:41:50,146 --> 01:41:53,769
{\an8}♪ This time,
we gonna embrace it ♪
2056
01:41:53,791 --> 01:41:56,686
{\an8}♪ This time,
I'll love you more ♪
2057
01:41:56,708 --> 01:41:59,790
{\an8}♪ This time, we're
going through changes ♪
2058
01:41:59,812 --> 01:42:04,165
{\an8}♪ Letting go, letting
go, letting go, letting go ♪
2059
01:44:11,375 --> 01:44:16,375
{\an8}♪ Ooh,
ooh, ooh ♪
151703
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