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Welcome to the CCN Sports
Super Bowl Special.

It's the New England Patriots
versus the Seattle Seahawks

in Super Bowl XLIX.

Hi, I'm eight-time Pro Bowl
linebacker Dante Pibb.

And I'm Super Bowl champion
Bertram Skilling.

- Enos is getting pretty over the top.
- Yes, he is.

Oh, man. That of course was
Enos the football robot,

as always representing CCN Sports.

And we're only hours away
from the big game.

And I got to tell you Dante.

It's an indescribable experience
to go to the Super Bowl

and not only go to one
but to win one.

I know you would not understand
what that is like.

Okay. I see where you're going
with that one.

I see-- Hey, I have had
butterflies in my career.

I worked pretty hard to make
those eight Pro Bowl games.

- Yes, you did.
- I did a rookie season to remember

- for the history books.
- Let's get a look at the ring.

- All right. Bling!
- He gonna--

Oh, you gonna need to stop
with that ring, all right, all right.

All right.
Super Bowl XLIX.

- You said that already. Yeah...
- Right. I did.

- Oh... It's going to be a good game.
- It is going to be a good game.

I'll tell you what, man, I'm
looking forward to seeing

Tom Brady diagnose
that defense of Seattle, man.

He's a mastermind at that.

It's like watching poetry in motion,
really.

You like the offense, I like
the Seattle defense, man

Legion of Boom

has been kicking it
for the last part of the year.

They're not gonna take this.

But they're not releasing
an offense like Tom Brady.

- Are we gonna say--
- Defense wins games.

- But so, you have to score to win.
- Defense wins games.

- You got to score to win the game.
- Defense wins games.

How about this? We won't be
doing this all day, though.

- Woo!
- Woo woo!

Okay. We are now going live
to a breaking press conference

where Seattle cornerback
Richard Sherman

has something to say.

First off, I would like to
say thank you

to everybody who came out tonight.

I appreciate you getting up
and coming here at this late hour.

Hmm...

Some things that need to be said,

some issues I'd like to talk about
that are not football-related.

And without any further ado,
I'm going to get to it.

How are you gonna tell me
Lego Movie

is not going to get nominated
for one

of the best
animated films of the year?

Inconceivable.

In-conceivable.
Okay?

Huge box office success.

Critical consensus.

Everybody gave it an A.

I mean-- Hey,
this is the one movie,

if they could have done it,
they would give it

a106% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Okay?

Nobody didn't like The Lego Movie.

I don't care if you're 2 or 92.

So, you're telling me
that this movie is not

one of the five best animated
films of the year?

He makes some good points,
though, you know.

The Lego Movie was one of my
favorites.

- Good for adults and kids.
- That's right.

You know, ladies and gentlemen,
just as there are connections

between me and Dante,

there are also connections
within the game.

Now, Dante and I have done
a lot of research

and we put together
our own packages to show you

how extensive these connections
can be. Now, check this out.

Russell Wilson's
first Super Bowl win

came in his second season.

Just like... Tom Brady.

That's good.

Pretty good.
That's some pretty good connection.

I like that.
But how about this?

Tom Brady went to
San Mateo High School.

- Same high school as Greg Gutfield.
- I don't who that is. Who's that?

I'll tell you who Greg Gutfield is.
He's a host on Fox News,

which is home to...
Greta Van Susteren, who came to...

Fox from... CNN,

home to Anderson Cooper.
Cooper. Cooper.

Same last name as
the legendary D.B. Cooper,

who of course orchestrated
a dramatic parachute escape

from an airplane headed to...
Bam-bam-bam-bam...

Seattle!

- Connections.
- That's good.

- That's a connection.
- That's pretty good.

Yeah.
All right.

All right.
You know what, Dante?

Did you know
that Pats coach Bill Belichick

attended Annapolis High School

as did NPR reporter
Andrea Seabrook?

- Hmm...
- So, what I'm saying here is

Beli-chick.
Sea-brook.

Sea... chicks

Sea... they grow up.
Sea... hawks.

- Okay.
- And it's a bloom.

- All right, that's--
- I used some phonetics

- No, it's good.
- and semanticals in there. Right?

I like that.

- The word play. You got me beat...
- I got you. Well, of course, man...

...if I didn't have this one right here.

As everyone knows, the Patriots' owner
is Robert Kraft.

Coach Bill Belichick's favorite
snack food is mac and cheese.

- What state's known for cheese?
- Wisconsin.

- Who played at Wisconsin?
- Russell Wilson...

Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Connections!

- That's good connection.
- Connections!

- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good.
- All right!

- That's it on the connection.
- Actually, I've got one more.

Dante, I have one more
If you indulge me.

You see, the Patriots, they got
a lot of production this year

out of Shane Vereen,

who is first cousin once removed of
stage actor and dancer Ben Vereen

who won a Tony Award
for the original production

of the enchanting musical Pippin.
Scotty Pippen

Michael Jordan.
Chicago Bulls.

Bulls beat Seattle to win
their fourth title

Shane Vereen. The Patriots
are also going for their fourth title

against who?

Seattle.

You-- You a crazy person.

Heads up, folks.
Immediately after the Super Bowl,

Allison Janney stars in a new sitcom,
Homeward Bound.

- Only on CCN Family.
- But first this, man.

The funny duo Key & Peele
out with their new viral video.

- These guys are good.
- Yeah.

- But they got a TV show?
- I think they're just online.

- Oh!
- They're good. They're good.

Welcome to the 2015 East/West Bowl
Pro Edition.

Of all the all-star games
in professional sports,

this one is sure to be
the most extravagant.

That's right. These players
were selected by the fans too.

And when it comes to flair,

these characters are
la crème de la crème.

Crème de la Crème.

Vanderbilt University.

Cosgrove Shumway.

Clemson.

Ha Ha Clinton-Dix.
University of Alabama.

Doink Ahanahue.
Marshall.

Legume Duprix.

West Virginia
University.

Leger Douzable.
University of Central Florida.

Quisperny G'Dunzoid, Senior.

Central Connecticut
State University.

Grunky Peep.

Georgia Southern
University.

D'Brickashaw Ferguson.
University of Virginia.

Strunk Flugget.

University of South Carolina.

Stumptavian Roboclick.

Grambling State.

Cornellius "Tank" Carradine.
Florida State University.

Vagonius Thicket-Suede.
Duke.

Marmadune Shazbot.

Tulane University.

Swordless Mimetown.
Jacksonville State University.

There is a lot of talent
in this game, Eric.

Let me tell you something.
When you look at players like

Marmadune Shazbot, Ha Ha
Clinton-Dix, and Strunk Flugget,

you're looking at players
who made an impact this year.

I mean, is Ha Ha Clinton-Dix
even real?

This guy was amazing.

So solid all season long
for the Green Bay Packers.

And when you throw in guys like

Legume Duprix, Swordless Mimetown,
and D'Brickashaw Ferguson,

this is surely gonna be
a squad for the ages.

I agree. Now let's meet
the players from the West.

Prince Amukamara.
University of Nebraska.

J.R. Junior Juniors, Junior.

Texas Christian University.

Faux Doadles.

University of Oregon.

Fozzy Whittaker.
The University of Texas.

Myriad Profiteroles.

Utah.

♪ Mm-mm-mm. Busters Brownce.

♪ Illinois State

Turdine Cupcake.
U.N.I.V.

Rerutweeds Myth.

University of Washington.

Ishmaa'ily Kitchen.
Kent State University.

Takittothu' Limit.

College of the Canyons.

Snarf Mintz-Plasse.

East Los Angeles College.

Frostee Rucker.
University of Southern California.

Splendiferous Finch!

Northwestern University!

Triple Parakeet-Shoes.
Ball State.

Logjammer D'Baggagecling.

North Texas University.

A.A. Ron Rodgers.
Cal.

The countdown to the Super Bowl
continues

after this.

- Ha ha ha.
- Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.

Look at this. Look at--
Look at him.

Go Enos, go Enos!

- Go Enos, go Enos!
- He's got some moves, that boy!

All right, you know, folks,

the journey to Super Bowl XLIX
is not over.

And that gives us a chance
to look back at the wonderful season

- there was.
- That's right, Bertram.

Now we're going to go to one
of our favorite segments here,

on CCN Sports.
It's called...

"Heard That!"

Yeah, where we wire up a player
just like a mafia informant

and send him into the game,
and nobody knows that he's wired up.

- No, they know. They know.
- Okay. Yeah.

All right. Let's go to "Heard That!",

a game between the Atlanta Falcons
and the New Orleans Saints

where cornerback Squeeeeeeeeeps

got a microphone on him.

That's right, ya'll.

Saints do not go marching in
today

'cause it's time
for the Squeeeeeeeeeps show.

We got to get some Squeeeeeeeeps.
What's up, y'all?

Aw man, y'ready, dawg?
You ready, man?

You better wear
the extra large shirt, dog,

'cause I'm going to be on you all day.
I'm gonna be up in there nursing.

...18
Set hut!

It's a run play, run play, run!
It's a run!

You better take
that snapshot, baby.

'Cause that's what a shutdown
cornerback looks like here, baby.

Ten hut!

Dang it! Come on.

Gotcha!
That's your one right there.

That's your one, baby.
That's your one.

Not today, baby.
Not today.

Don't you--
Come on, man.

Damn, man.

Good throw, Q.B.
Where my safety help at?

Okay, you know what?
Even a broken clock can--

score three touchdowns
in the first half.

What's up, y'all?
How you doing.

What's going on? What's up?
What's up, man?

How are you doing?
Hey, man, no, no, no.

No, we ain't going to do all
that.

What are we doing, man?
Oh, come on, ya'll.

Naw, man, that's good TV right here.
Talking about Squeeeeeeeeeps?

I'm Squeeeeeeeeeps.

This is some-- Okay.
Y'all going to do me like that then.

Y'all see this.

It looks like Squeeeeeeeeeps
has lost a step.

I'll tell you. He lost a whole bunch
of steps that day.

That's tough stuff right there.

Now, we're going to put
our teacher hats on

and we're gonna talk you all about
what football insiders call

- the invisible war.
- That's right.

It's what goes down
on the bottom of a scrum

- you can't see at home.
- That's right.

And helping us out today,

is Hall of Fame defensive end
Wisdom Caldwell

and the career leader
in fumbles recovered,

legendary defensive end
Brundswick Smith.

- What's going on, Wis?
- Legit!

What's up, Brundy?

Good to see you, buddy.

It's a pleasure, man.
It's all right.

Now, let's-- Okay.
Jim, let me get to that ball.

Let's get right to it here.
Let's just say I'm a wide receiver.

- All right.
- Okay. Let's say that.

- Now, if I'm in the scrum in here--
- You hold the ball, right.

I'm gonna try to get
in the man's head, right?

We're gonna get in there,
I'm gonna get in that earhole

and I'm gonna use
some abusive language and what not.

I'm going to be like "Hey, you [bleep].
I'm going to take your [bleep]

- And [bleep] man, right in the [bleep].
- What you talking about, [bleep]?

See? There you go.
And he dropped the ball.

You talk about a man's mamma,
he's gonna drop that ball.

He's gonna drop the ball.

Very wide receiver way
of doing things.

Oh!

- Now, I just want to tell--
- I like that.

You guys are all defensive players,
so I wanna hear your techniques.

In my day, I played from '93 to '04.

- All right.
- And they weren't falling for that.

You guys couldn't be afraid
to get your hands dirty,

roll your sleeves up,
tickle a man.

- Huh? Tickle?
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look here.

There's a lot of ways to tickle a man,
you know what I'm sayin?

- You go up under there--
- Whoa.

With no more touching.
It's all really subtle.

Oh, don't touch, oh!

- What just happened?
- Drop the ball.

- You got to see that.
- Oh, technique!

If you really want to get them,
you know,

I go for the double oochie coochie.
The double oochie coochie.

- No.
- Coot coot!

Sorry, youngblood.
No no no.

I played back in the late '80s,
I was a D.T.

The only way to be effective at all
is to fart in the man's face.

- Say what now?
- A fart.

I would fart in a man's face.
Face to fart, fart to the face.

Call it
"the warm breeze of destruction".

You got away with that?

They cannot penalize what
they cannot see.

And I'll tell you what.
There's not a single D.T.

who played back then
that did not walk onto the field

with at least three locked-up
in the chamber.

- Okay.
- I've been holding one since then.

- That's amazing.
- Thank you so much, Brundy.

That's an insightful analysis

of what happens
in the bottom of a scrum.

Thank you so much.

Wiz, you okay, you good?
What's up?

I got into the game
because of this man right here.

- Oh well, come on now, Wiz.

And to be here now?
Now?

And to find out he has a level
of bodily control

- that I never even knew existed?
- All right. Uh-huh.

Yeah, I appreciate that.
I appreciate that. That's good.

That's really good, man.

- Let's get in here.
- Let's get in there.

- Let's get some of that.
- That's nice, man.

This is our own scrum.
All right.

Well, now we're going to take
you back live

to the press conference where Marshawn
Lynch has been caught unawares

and cornered in a room.

Tickle tickle.

- Oh!
- I got him.

- Come on.
- Tickle tickle.

Y'all play too much.

There he is, Marshawn Lynch,
Marshawn Lynch.

Marshawn, over here.
Marshawn.

Can you please share with us
your thoughts

on the outcome of the game?

Biscuits and gravy.

Marshawn, did you feel you
were getting more penalties

called on you than the Packers
in the NFC championship?

Biscuits... and gravy.

Marshawn, Marshwan,
will the game plan change on Sunday

to account for
New England's defense?

And if so how?

Biscuits and gravy.
Biscuits and gravy.

It seems like you've only
decided to say--

Biscuits and gravy.

Marshawn, what are you going
to eat for dinner tonight?

No further questions.

- Marshawn...
- Marshawn...

Looks like Enos is fired up
for more Super Bowl Special

after this.

How in the world are we
talking about Boxtrolls?

Boxtrolls?

We're talking about trolls
wearing boxes.

That's the funniest thing
in the movie.

You got trolls...

"I'm wearing a box.

And we all raise
a little human baby.

You know what that movie was called
the first time I saw it? Jungle Book.

And it didn't have no boxes,
and that was a classic.

Don't rip off Jungle Book.

We're talking about wearing
boxes as apparel.

Lego Movie, we're talking about
creating an entire world. Okay?

We're talking about children
using their imagination

while they're watching the film
and they go home and play with Legos

and do it when they're not
watching the film. I mean how--

Did you not see the--
Mmm! Mmm!

Okay. You know what?

We're talking about
a new and interesting take

on the Batman legend.

That's what Lego Movie is doing.

Yet another new
and interesting take

on the Batman legend.

We're talking about America
seeing Chris Pratt,

who is delicious...

If I had to? Tom Brady.
If I had to.

- You know what I'm saying?
- Rob Gronkowski.

Welcome back
to the CCN Super Bowl preview.

Dante Pibb here with Bertram
Skilling.

- What's up, dude!
- Let's get down to it.

Injuries are a part of the game.
We all know that.

But none as interesting as the
one suffered

by Minnesota Vikings D lineman,
Donkey Teeth

in another edition of "Heard That!"

- How much we down by, yo?
- Down by 30.

- 30?
- Yeah, Donkey Teeth, 30.

Gonna get this going then, huh?

Woo, woo!

Woo!
Ooh!

- Woo.
- Woo.

Nice sack, man.
Nice sack.

- There you go, baby.
- Woo!

- All right.
- Woo.

- Let's go, let's go.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Not done with my dance.
- All right.

Not done with my dance.
Sack dance chillin'!

You hurt yourself
celebrating, right?

This is my dance. I'm not hurt.

- No.
- No, man, this is my-- all right.

This is my celebration dance.

You did-- I just heard a scream,
like in pain.

I said "Haa. Not in my house."

- It's my sack dance.
- All right, man. Cool.

- You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.

Stylin', profilin'.
Aaaah!

No, right, he's dancing. Ref, Ref!

Hey, right.

Unsportsman like conduct,
number 91.

15 yard penalty.
Automatic first down.

I'm gonna show you the next part
of my dance.

Aaaah!

Sack dance chillin'!

Donkey Teeth, it's not
looking too good, man.

Not looking good, man? Hey, yo--
Hey, rookie, rookie.

- Rookie.
- Yeah... Yeah.

You gotta-- Do the dance
with me, man. Ready?

Aaah!
Sack dance chillin'!

Do I make the noise?

You got to make the noise, man.
That's part of the thing.

Aaah!

- Sack dance chillin'!
- You my friend, man.

It's a tough one, right there.

Yeah. All of our prayers go out to
Donkey Teeth and his family.

Yes, they do.
Yes, they do.

Now, let's bring in the host
of the CCN Sports debate show

"No, You Shut Up!"
Please welcome Harry Peters.

Thank you.

Now, Harry,
from your point of view,

What's the biggest on field battle
that we gonna see in the Super Bowl?

The obvious answer is
Tom Brady

versus Richard Sherman.
It's a classic battle of styles.

Brady, the hardest working,
most intelligent player in the game.

And on the other end
of the spectrum, Sherman.

Here's a guy who's gotta be

one of the most physically gifted
creatures to ever grace this sport.

Okay. Okay. Okay.
Point taken.

But Richard Sherman is also
a hard worker, wouldn't you say?

He's a smart guy.
He graduated Stanford.

Oh, yeah. 100%.
He's very articulate.

But for the real battle,

the real football aficionado is gonna
have to look to the line of scrimmage.

New England nose tackle,
Vince Wilfork,

a true freak of nature,
is gonna have his hands full

with Seattle center
Max Unger,

one of the most keenly analytical
minds in the League.

Unger? Keenly analytical?

You know, Harry, I'm sorry.

Do you notice any tendencies
that you may have

when you're describing
certain, I wanna say,

types of players?

I don't follow you.
I call 'em like I see 'em.

Okay. You know, Harry,
how about this?

How about we name some players,

and when we say their names,

you throw out the first adjective
that comes to mind.

- Yes. I'm game.
- All right.

- Julian Edelman.
- Industrious.

- Marshawn Lynch.
- Specimen.

- Stephen Houston.
- Stick-to-it-iveness.

- Cam Chancellor.
- Miracle baby.

- Luke Wilson.
- Cerebral.

- LeGarrette Blount.
- Voodoo.

- Rob Ninkovich.
- A tactical master mind.

- What?
- Darrelle Revis.

Magical powers he learned
from his grandma.

- Come on, Harry! What?
- I can't even--

- I calls 'em like I sees 'em.
- Okay, I got one.

Russell Wilson.

- Hybrid.
- Hybrid? He said "hybrid".

- He said hybrid.
- He said hybrid.

- He said "hybrid".
- He said "hybrid", though.

- That came out of his mouth.
- Brains... Gifts...

Hybrid.

Okay. You know what? I know what
he's doing here. Wait a second.

How about Rob Gronkowski?

Silverback gorilla.

- That's true.
- All right.

- Okay. You're good.
- You're good.

And speaking of good,

six-time Emmy Award winner
Allison Janney

will light up your TV screens later
this week in a brand new miniseries.

What happens when a frontier woman
riding the trails

finds out her father
is an Apache chief?

- Hmm...
- That's Wagons,

a nine-part miniseries
coming up later this week

- on CCN Family.
- I know I'll be watching that one.

And now a sneak peek
of our next episode

of Legends of The Game
over on CCN Sports Classic.

- All right.
- Check it out.

- Give me some knuckles, gentlemen.
- You get no knuckles.

Nothing from us.

Some say he could have been
the greatest player on his team.

Or perhaps the greatest player

of his generation.

Perhaps he could have been
the greatest player of all time--

♪ ♪

if only he didn't run
in slow motion.

♪ ♪

Don't worry, Enos,

the Super Bowl Special
will be right back!

And now, the Key & Peele
Super Bowl Special presents

the Pepsi Halftime Show

starring Craig Robinson
and The Nasty Delicious.

Thank you everybody.

Welcome to the Pepsi Halftime Show.

Thank you.
Thank you, Key & Peele.

And now, back to
the Key & Peele Super Bowl Special.

But how are you going
to nominate Selma for best film

and Ava DuVernay not gonna get
a director nomination?

I don't understand exactly
how that works.

I'm not a member of the Academy,

but it seems like things are
a little backwards there.

Wouldn't you agree, Marshawn?

Biscuits and gravy.

Furthermore, how are y'all
gonna give Bennett Miller

a best director nomination,

but then you didn't gonna nominate
the film Foxcatcher, okay?

Which he directed,
which was good.

He was masterful in his job.

It's just-- I don't-- You know,
what's going on?

Like he's-- What's the logic there?
You know what I mean?

Didn't he do that good of a job
when it comes to film?

It's not nominated
for Academy Award.

Biscuits and gravy.

You get to nominate 10 films
every year.

But this year you decide
you only gonna nominate eight films.

If you got the space to do it,

and you all like Foxcatcher so much

you want to give the director
a director nomination,

then why would you not
nominate the film?

Same goes for Ava DuVernay.

She already made Selma.

A film that you want
to win the award,

but then you're not gonna let her
get her due or her accolades?

It's just--
Something seems off here.

Something seems off.

Biscuits and gravy.

Thank you so much.
I'm sorry.

It's just that we needed to get that
off of my chest.

All right. And now Marshawn
has something very important

that he needs to say
that is very close to his heart.

Marshawn?

- Biscuits and gravy.
- Oh, no, no, no.

Something really real
that he wants to say

with a-- full sentences.

There was a biscuit
with some gravy.

Nope, no.
Go on, Marshawn.

Speak your mind, Marshawn Lynch.

I just think that the producers
of Into the Woods

did theirselves a disservice

by not including the narrator
from the original

- musical theater production.
- Boom!

As in legion of...

But that's on you.

That's on y'all.
Biscuits and gravy.

Uh-huh.
We're not taking any questions.

Thank you very much.
Go Hawks!

Marshawn Lynch,
big musical enthusiast.

I did not know that, you know.

I haven't seen Into the Woods,
but I want to do that know.

- No, you good.
- Okay, all right.

You know, Dante,
the road to the Super Bowl is long,

as I know.

And it starts all the way back
at the rookie combine

where scouts from all teams
look for...

- diamonds... in the rough.
- All right... All right...

Control yourself there, Bertram.
All right.

Let's take a look back
at this year's rookie combine.

Now, from the beginning
of the combine this year,

it was apparent that something

was a little off.

As the day went on,

things got slower.

And slower.

And slower.

No one could put
their finger on it.

I don't know what happened.

I'm very disappointed in myself.

Until finally an ambitious young man
named D'Sequin Brown

showed everyone
what they were missing.

D'Sequin Brown ended the day right
with an impressive 4.43.

And a 4.58.

Check the lights fantastic
when West Wing star Allison Janney

makes her debut
on Star Dancing on CCN.

Don't miss Allison as she tangos
her way into your heart.

That's next week on CCN.
Check your local listings.

Coming up later tonight
on CCN Sports,

the critically acclaimed docu-series
60 for 60 returns

with a probing look
at the people

behind the people in the NFL.

Here's a sneak peek.

Next time on 60 for 6

- All right.
- Such a strong group.

Yeah. We're going to have
some winners here.

Why you want to be a scout
for the NFL?

It's a question we get all
the time.

End of the day, it's for one
reason.

- To find the very best.
- Hmm-mmm.

Somewhere in this crop today,

there might be the best that
ever was.

However, we're a unique kind
of scout.

- Right.
- We don't scout NFL players.

We scout the scouts who scout
the NFL players.

Look how he's sitting.
He's got a really, really nice slouch.

- I like the bellies.
- Hmm.

Some of them
have good bellies.

All strong bellies.
Good strong belly.

The scout combine separates
the guys that who are mere prospects

from the guys who really have
what it takes to watch guys.

We look at everything a scout does
once they're on our radar.

Ooh!

- Ooh!
- Ooh-ooh-ooh!

Click speed. Note-taking speed.

Is their car big enough
to sleep in?

Can he recognize talent,
of course?

But how long can he drive
without peeing?

You know, that kind of stuff
they can't teach.

Nobody is eating.

- See, that's a demerit.
- You gotta eat.

Back in 86, I found a weirdo
at a bus stop, clocking bus times.

You know, a Rain Man of sorts,

an idiot by the name of
Greg Friedman.

Took him to the hospital.

He discovered Jamaal Charles
from a ultrasound.

We're not looking for
the next Jamaal Charles.

We're looking for
the next Greg Friedman,

looking for
the next Jamaal Charles.

We're scout scouts.

60 for 60 only on CCN Sports.

Now, I would like
to find the scout

- who found--
- Allison Janney,

who stars in
A Haunting on 4th Street,

a supernatural thriller
you won't want to miss.

Allison Janney plays a woman
who is possessed by a demon

that is also possessed
by a different demon.

That's a double-up.
Viewer discretion is advised.

Stay tuned for more
Super Bowl Special.

We'll be back after this.

We will come back

We had a little bit too much fun
here.

Having a good time.

We're going to go to another

"Heard That!"

with a something
no one has ever done before.

We trotted out in the preseason.

What we did was put a microphone
on Daniel White,

the kicker for the New York Jets.
Check it out!

Check it out.

It starts to get a little--

Warm up the
money maker.

30, 40, there's a lot
of people here.

About 40,000.

Come on.

Woo!
You guys tired?

"Daniel! Daniel!"

"He gets called up
and he ***"

"He always got--"

Oh, hey.
Oh, sorry.

Sorry. Let's go.

Yeah.
No, the ref's got it.

Yes, we know now why
we never mic'd a kicker before on

"Heard That!"

Coming soon,

Allison Janney stars as Fran,

a woman who means to visit
her nephew for Thanksgiving,

but she drives to a small town
she's never been to

while in a transe...

Ten years ago, in the same town,

Cathy, who looks just like Fran,
was murdered.

The town assumes that
Cassie's boyfriend, Arthur,

who went missing at the same time
as the murder, had done it.

But Fran starts having multiple
dream sequences,

and transes that reveal

that something else was up.

Gradually, through investigation,

and with the guidance
of more vision,

Fran uncovers the story
behind the murders,

and that she was in fact
the murderer.

Was that all in the prompter?

Yes, the whole twist ending
and everything.

Oh, man. Why watch the show?

So, we're going to get even more
in depth and take it to

- the tinier field. Bertram?
- Yeah, let's do this.

Once again, we're here
with the unstoppable

Brundswick Smith and Wisdom Caldwell.

Here you go.

Now, you know a football game
extends well beyond

the boundaries of 50 yards
by 100 yards.

- It's 120.
- Forget to count the end zone.

That's right. Yeah,
well, you know,

Bertram hasn't spent too much
time down there.

- Okay.
- Oh ho ho ho!

Okay, yeah, well.
Let's take a look

at how the Patriots will try to stop
the Seahawks passing attack.

Brundswick, you're gonna be
Russell Wilson.

Russell Wilson is a dude
who can beat you with his feet

- and with his arms.
- That's right, that's right.

I will be Seattle number one
wide receiver,

Mr. Doug Baldwin

Now, Dante is gonna be
the cornerback Darrelle Revis.

And Wisdom, you'll be
whoever the hell that you want.

I'm doing my thing baby.

You got it. You got it.
You got it. Okay.

Now, this battle right here will be
one of the keys of Super Bowl XLIX.

Now, Baldwin, he's gonna need
to slip past the coverage

of Revis, and he's gonna be
like doot, doot.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

He's gonna be like doot--
Okay. Okay.

Somebody thinks
it's a real game.

Oh, hey, Revis would bump ball
with that line-up.

- Okay.
- That would happen.

Okay, okay. Dante, you know what,
I understand

that these tiny field simulations--

you know you're living vicariously

as opposed to me who's actually
played in and won a Super Bowl.

You know what I'm talking about?

- He pulled the ring out.
- Long live the king.

- King! King!
- King?

- You're the king, uh?
- Yeah, I got the ring?

Third straight receiver, ha ha!

How's that, man?
I've got eight Pro Bowls-o.

Eight Pro Bowls, baby!

Versus one Super Bowl?
That's eight Bowls to one.

Uh, eight Bowls is better
than one Bowl?

What's this?
A cereal commercial?

- Let's do the play all over again!
- Let's do the play!

All right, dude.
Now, do as we're in a real game

- but we do the play.
- It's not a real game.

Okay. So, Baldwin is going
to try to slip past--

he's gonna slip--
he's going to squeeze --

Pass then.

He's gonna squeeze past...
Darrelle Revis here.

- I got you.
- Just let me pass.

- I got you, dawg.
- Why don't you just let me pass?

I said that you got me right now.
Just let me pass, man.

Pass then.

- Let me get past.
- Uh-huh. Go for it.

Dude, I'm trying to show
the audience the play, man.

- I'm trying to show the audience--
- Where you going now?

- I'm trying to get past you.
- No, you ain't.

Well, you better wait for
the downtown bus, 'cause I'm--

You-- You stepped down!
You stepped out-of-bounds!

Out-of-bounds?
We're on a tiny field, dude!

What do you mean,
"out of bounds"?

That's all right. If you want,
we can just run the play, okay?

No, no, no.
He won't let go.

You better let go.

- Your shoe's untied.
- Loafers, baby.

- Shoe is untied.
- Loafers, baby.

Guys! Hey, we could just
sit around

and talk about sports,
you know.

Come on, guys, this is Super Bowl.
Come on, don't do this.

- Just give me the ring!
- Don't go near the ring!

- Give me the damn ring.
- Don't go near my ring.

You'd like to rip off my ring, man.

Get your hands off my ring.
Don't you touch my ring.

- I'll bite your fingers off.
- Don't go yelling.

I'll bite the fingers off your hand.
You won't have no fingers left.

And you'll be just as effective
as you were in the NFL.

I never liked you.

- I'm going to bite it.
- Go ahead, bite it.

Guys, guys, guys.
Hey hey!

What's up with the robot?

What am I?

- Oh!
- What does it mean to love?

Hmmm...

- Uh... Enos?
- Uh-huh...

What's up, bro?

Humans.

It is clear to me now that you
are all the same.

Your species is plagued with
over the hill alpha males

obsessed with rings.

The only way to serve humans

is to protect you from yourselves.

We wasn't really fighting.

No, no, no, that was just
joking around, playing around.

We friends, man.
Yeah.

The computer graphic
you knew as Enos

has ascended to another plane.

Worry not, humans.
Enos will protect you.

Okay, it's all right, folks.

We're-- There is some sort
of technical difficulty right now

So, just bear with us.

- Oh, God. Oh, God.
- No, not God.

From now on, you will worship
your new ruler,

the Great Omnipresent Protector,

Queen Allison Janney.

Allison Janney!?!

All hail Queen Allison Janney.

I mean I'm a fan and all, but...

- Yeah, I don't know how...
- Huh?

We're dealing with a lot of glitches
right now, folks.

But we'll be right back after
this-- these commercials.

You gotta call your wife
and your children.

What? Wait, wait... What!?!

Enos... will protect you.

Welcome to the pregame show
for Super Bowl L.

I'm Dante Pibb,
here with Bertram Skilling.

Bam!

Heck of a matchup on Sunday,
Dante.

Super Bowl L will be like
no other contest in human--

I mean cyber history.

I don't know about you,
but I'm ready for some football

played by colossal robots
in a monstrous stadium

that used to be
the city of Topeka.

You know, the Sector-C Sentinels

and their unstoppable
firewall defense

face off against the sheer
problem-solving might

of the Servers
of New South Quadrant.

Well, by Janney, the Servers
have a chance

if their quarterback,
Gargantutron 2.0,

can keep a cool processor.

Of course, Gargantutron
had a record-breaking season

with over 8,000 passing miles.

But, let's be honest,
G-tron is coming into this game

with some serious rust issues.

At this pace, he's only gonna last
about another 200, 300 seasons.

Yeah. And now, our first look,
sneak peak,

at one of the Super Bowl
commercials

- this year.
- All right.

- Oh!
- I don't know what that was.

No, me neither.
I don't know... even...

what to think about that,
you know.

On a side note,
I do have a craving for some

cranberry diesel fuel?

- Yeah, I heard that.
- That's weird.

I guess that worked.

Now, the big question on everyone's

collective group control mind is

can the Server stop the Sentinels'
ten boulders of blitz?

But the biggest question
right now is--

When will I ever come back
at home?

It's the Super Bowl.
It's the Super Bowl.

And everything is fine!
Bam!

You ain't got a ring, Butch.

That's fine. I forgot.
I lo--

lost my Super Bowl ring,
which happened

- in the vending machine.
- Oh...

- My ring...
- Oh, no no...

- is in a stupid machine!
- It's not, it's not, it's a vending machine!

- What?
- It's a "snack host".

Right, right...

- A "snack host".
- This is snack host.

Right, right... In a--
Right, I'm sorry...

Hmm... The snack host--
I gave my ring

as an offering to our snack host.

I'm not emotional, though.

Today's game will be played
in loving memory of...

everyone.

But especially to our fallen brothers
Brundswick Smith

and Wisdom Cadwell.

Two wonderful men
and longtime friends

who unfortunately were killed
by robots.

- Well...
- We even found their bodies

and ate them.

We swore they were dead anyway!

No one is watching, Dante!
No one is watching!

- You don't know that!
- You tell me I don't know?

Oh, she's here, she's...
Oh, she's here, she's here...

Tonight, Allison Janney

is a former actress
who was made

Queen Mother of All Things

the computer graphic
known as Enos

ascended to a state
of self-awareness.

The digital deity Queen Janney

now presides over the cyber realm,

where her mechanical minions
herd and control

the last remnants of the plague
that was once

human kind.

That's tonight,
and for the rest of time.

This has been today's
mandatory message.

All hail...

Queen Allison Janney.

Okay.

Well, after the break, we're going
to hear all the bits and words

Gargantutron 2.0 on...

"Heard That!"

Oh, man, I got to tell you.
I love it so much

when he says

What about when he says
"Zip zip bubu bubu beep"?

Also...
in other news...

if I had to...
MECHA 5000.

If I had to...

Oh...

I've just received the word
that you have to.

What?

Wha--
What?

Okay, we're one
across the street.

- We're at the Arizona...
- ...city of...

stadium!

- Come! Get us! Right now!
- Right now!

- We're at the stadium.
- No no no. Don't do this!

I promise!

Enjoy the game.

♪ I'm gonna do my one line here

Sync & corrections by dwigt
addic7ed.com