Original subtitles

♪ On a warm summer's evening... ♪

We had these agents we worked with.

They weren't part of Franks' team,

but they were always around.

We called them

"the guys."

When you first met them,

it was easy to get them mixed up.

But once you got to know them,

it was pretty clear they each had their own thing.

JJ Henneberry prided himself on off-color jokes.

He felt the same about sandwiches

as he did about women:

the more the better.

Carl Loughlin was former DEA,

but his niche in the office was Fish and Wildlife.

He'd school you about sea bass all damn day

if you didn't find an excuse to walk away.

Roger Murphy--

well, we stopped counting him because

he did some awful stuff

-and ended up behind bars.

Artie Finch we counted as half

since he was retired. He was the guy

-who trained Gary Callahan,

turned him into a K9 agent.

But the toughest one to get a handle on

was Dalton Basement.

He moved his office to the basement

'cause there was too much laughing upstairs.

We called him Dalton Basement,

but his real last name was something Swedish

that none of us could pronounce.

Dalton was a lot of things.

Number one office shredder, resident sketch artist,

self-proclaimed expert on the 63rd Street Chacales.

But most of all,

he was a pain in our ass.

Nothing was ever good enough for Dalton Basement.

And the person that got the brunt

of his griping was Mary Jo.

He was always wanting something.

Demanding a dustbuster,

bugging her about his lost letter opener,

arguing that if Franks

had a bendy lamp, so should he.

But unlike the rest of us, Mary Jo actually took the time

to wonder why Basement was the way he was.

She thought maybe he moved

to the basement to really focus on the cases.

Dalton.

After all, she did hear him say he wanted

- to be SAC someday. - Oh...

♪ You got know when to hold 'em... ♪

And then, one day,

she realized something else about him.

♪ Know when to walk away... ♪

The reason he kept asking about

the dustbuster and the letter opener

and the bendy lamp

was because it meant more time

talking to her.

At first, she wasn't sure what to think about that.

♪ You got know when to hold 'em... ♪

But then, she started thinking

that maybe it was worth a try.

Maybe Dalton Basement was worth taking a gamble on.

She knew people in the office would never understand,

but she and Dalton agreed

no one ever needed to know

what was going on behind closed doors.

♪ When the dealing's done. ♪

Hey.

We were starting to get worried.

You lose track of all space and time

in the shower? Happens to me,

like, four times a week.

No, I forgot to put my pager on.

I was helping Diane load up her car.

Oh, yeah? Where's she headed?

Los Angeles. She decided to take that job.

Wait, what? You guys break up again?

No, it's nothing like that, it's fine.

L.A.'s only two hours away.

She's gonna come back down on the weekends.

Company's paying for her to become an accountant

and she couldn't pass it up.

Hey. You get a flat tire or something?

No, Diane's taking that job in L.A., but

they're happily staying together,

and she's coming back on the weekends.

I was asking if he had car trouble, Randy.

I don't need to know his personal business.

He doesn't mind me sharing it. We're all family.

What are we looking at?

Diane is working in L.A. during the week,

here for the weekends.

I was asking about the two victims

in the damn car, Dominguez.

Oh.

Driver is Lance Corporal Graham Shaw,

22 years old.

Passenger, also a lance corporal.

Isaac Pierson, 23.

Wallets were in their pockets, so doesn't look like a robbery.

Any witnesses?

Nope.

Sheriff spotted the car.

Headlights were off, no hazards.

He pulled over, discovered the bodies.

- When's Tango getting here? - He's out surfing.

But he will be touched to know that you were

thinking of him on his day off.

Both of them were shot

through the driver's side, huh?

Window was down.

Yep. Blood's dried.

I put the time of death about 4:00 A.M.

- Explains why no witnesses. - Yeah.

Anyone check the cooler?

Uh, Lala was taking pictures.

There's a couple duffles in the back

and some stuff.

Nothing but Caf-Pows.

Could be the were on a road trip, headed back to base.

Bought a bunch of caffeine to stay awake behind the wheel.

That stuff's potent.

Tango told me about the mayhem

you caused the last time you drank some of that.

I asked him

not to speak about that.

Well, I'm not gonna tell anybody.

Boss.

Yeah, you find something?

Talk to me. What do you got?

Broken taillight.

Bumper's all busted up.

We saw that already, probie.

You were late on account of your wife

half-moving to L.A., weren't you?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

So you might want to catch up before you go pointing out stuff

we already know.

Theory is he was rear-ended. You see them tire marks?

Our guys get hit, both cars pull over,

other driver shoots them,

peels off without any witnesses.

So we're thinking road rage.

I'm thinking next time you're gonna roll up late,

you best get your ass

on the radio and let us know.

You had Dominguez worried sick.

Mary Jo.

I found this unmarked Tupperware

in the back of the fridge. It's just taking up space.

Do you want me to throw it out?

Dalton,

were you looking in the fridge for a reason to come talk to me?

Hey, is that a Tupperware?

Agent Basement, remember what we talked about last week?

Refrigerator grievances are my domain.

Come on, let's go discuss the Tupperware in the kitchen.

All right, come on, Mary Jo is busy.

You can bitch to me as long as you want.

You're welcome.

Mary Jo. Hey.

Why you have that look on your face?

What look?

That's the look you get when there's something

you don't want to admit, so you just pretend

everything is normal.

I ain't see nothing.

These are your victims.

Their company commander is Captain Declan.

He's waiting in the conference room.

What?

Nothing.

You expect to lose men in battle.

In training, even.

This is...

You sure it was road rage?

We're not sure of anything yet.

Do you know where they were headed?

My guess is...

back to base.

They were due to report tomorrow.

We got back from Kuwait two weeks ago. I...

Pierson and Shaw were tight.

Whole time we were out there,

they talked about how they were gonna

go to Jersey when they got back.

What's in Jersey?

Uh, Pierson had an aunt there.

Said she had huge property, lots of trails.

You know, they were gonna go four-wheeling.

Talked about it nonstop.

That's the kind of thing that gets you through.

You know?

Y'all had a rough go of it out there?

We are light armored reconnaissance.

This time around, we got assigned to locals

that had property damage from the war.

What kind of damage?

Trigger-happy Marines accidentally shooting a camel.

- That kind of thing. - Ladies and gentlemen!

Eyes over here.

Is everyone gathered?

Excuse me a minute.

Mary Jo, where's Dominguez?

Cliff, the hell are you doing out here?

- I've got some announcements. - And I got

a double homicide I'm trying to solve in there.

Is Dominguez in there? Get her out here.

I heard my name.

Yeah, hold onto your hat. Cliff's got some announcements.

Okay, first of all,

Regional Director Barrett will be

visiting the office later today.

- That prickhole? - Gail.

And in light of the upcoming restructure, he's handed down

some new directives that need to be put into practice,

effective immediately.

All photocopies must be logged

with employee ID and justification.

What? Does that include xeroxes of sea life?

Okay, how about you all just hold your applause

until I'm finished, okay?

Long-distance calls require

supervisor approval before dialing.

Thermostat to be locked at 68° in winter,

76° in summer, no adjustments

are permitted. Interoffice envelopes

are to be reused until they fall apart.

And, in light of recent happenings

at the agency,

all interoffice relationships must be disclosed.

Oh, is this because of that "handsy scandal" thing

- that happened recently? - Why do they have to be

all up in our business?

Because sex complaints can bring down nations.

Okay, I banged JJ one time,

all right? We thought we were dying.

Wait, are you talking about the time

we all thought we had Langya virus?

Because by the time you two saw each other,

we knew we weren't dying.

The adrenaline was still pumping, Bernard.

What are y'all yelling about in here?

Okay, I don't need

to hear anybody say it out loud.

Just disclose it on the forms, hand 'em in

by end of day tomorrow.

Well, it's a good thing Gail blurted that out.

By the time you write it down on that paper,

whole office is gonna know about it anyway.

You know what I mean?

Special Agent Björnstjerna.

Dalton.

Mary Jo? What are you doing calling me?

Come downstairs.

- Let's talk about this. - I am downstairs.

I'm in the dark room.

Why are you calling me from the other end of the hall?

Look.

We're not disclosing this.

With everything that's going on,

the harassment thing at headquarters,

the scrutiny--

if people find out about us,

it could ruin your chance at ever getting SAC.

Okay?

Okay.

Oh, Mary Jo.

I'll call you later.

What are you doing down here?

What do you need, Gail?

Just your advice.

Do you think I should disclose

my relations with JJ?

I think that ship has already sailed.

No, but she's wondering if she should make it official

by actually writing it on the form.

What up, ladies?

You told everyone we banged, right?

- Yeah. - So I should

write it in on the form, then?

That's what we're trying to figure out, Jeremiah.

Lord help us.

Come on, people, get a move on.

We've all got copies to make here, not just you.

Hey, I got a couple statements

from the other guys in Pierson and Shaw's platoon.

Confirmed they were on the last leg of a road trip

from Jersey to Pendleton. Is this the line for the copier?

Yeah, since we all have to log our copies now,

this line is taking forever.

You know, all this talk about disclosing secret relationships

got me thinking.

Am I the only one that knows about you

and that Jonny guy you're seeing?

- Yeah. - You're seeing someone?

Yeah, his names, uh, Jonny. She really likes him.

What? Oh. We're all family.

Who's family?

Lala's boning some guy named Jonny.

Oh. Congrats.

Y'all knuckleheads

know there's another copier out here,

- don't you? - It's broken. - It's broken.

Listen, I just got off the phone with Pierson's aunt

- in New Jersey. - Did they send someone

to notify her in person?

Yeah, I think she was still in shock.

She said Pierson was like a son to her,

and Shaw fit right in when they visited.

Did they call her at all from their road trip?

No, but she said

they were planning to stop

in Atlantic City before

they headed back cross country to Pendleton.

- For what, to gamble? - I mean, what else is there

to do in Atlantic City?

Come on, damn it.

Boss, careful,

you're gonna throw out your back again.

My bad, sir. Um, I was trying to fix it.

- Regional Director Barrett. - This place is

a damn zoo. Where the hell is Mary Jo?

Right here, sir.

My apologies. I had to step away from my desk.

Yeah, I gathered that.

Good to see you darling.

That red is a standout color on you.

Gonna be straight with you, Wheeler.

There is a lot of scrutiny going on.

They're calling it a "handsy scandal."

It's making life hell.

For me, in particular.

Sir?

There are some dark clouds

that people are trying to hang over me, Cliff.

Some very dark clouds.

That-that doesn't sound pleasant.

No. In fact, it's downright unpleasant.

What I need is for folks to look away from the clouds

and to see the sun-- oh!--

on the horizon.

You mean like a metaphoric-type sun?

No, I mean my case-solve rate throughout the region.

I want it to spike

so high people forget about anything inappropriate

I may or may not have done,

and as you so kindly

shoved in my face the last time I was here,

your office has the highest case-solve rate

in the region.

I'd be happy to share some strategies.