Original subtitles

HAZAN KOSHER MEATS

- Goddamn it, Ali! - Slow down! It's a tough ride in the back.

Sorry, but that's for being late. If we'd taken my Uber it'd be easier.

It's my father's fault! He made me do a delivery across town.

He knew about the meeting. He sabotages me...

Forget Dad, Joseph! We'll be on time. Relax, man.

Can we go over my pitch one last time?

No, it needs to be spontaneous. You know it by heart.

"Sweetch is three words..."

Come on! That hurts!

Come on, you're fine.

[Joseph] I'm not sure about the suit.

Trust me. I make suits all year long.

This beauty's gonna blow them away.

[Joseph] It's over the top, bro.

Are you crazy?

Why do you always give me the weird suit?

- You're classy and I look like shit. - What's wrong with you? It's top notch.

It has pagoda shoulders, peaked lapels.

- [man] It's fitted to... - [woman] Yeah, right. Shut up.

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

[grunts]

[sighs]

Bénédicte HAZAN Born ROZENBERG

It's been tough.

Since you went away...

The butcher shop...

The children... It's complicated.

It's complicated.

Here.

I'll put this here.

If you could help me...

Give me a sign, my love.

Whoo, Mr. CEO!

- Will you please step out. - Thank you.

- Looking sharp. Yeah. - Really?

How do I look?

- Like a mensch. - Or a real mulch.

You're fine, but do change the shoes.

Yeah, they suck. All right.

Say goodbye to these fucking shoes now.

[cell phone rings]

It's my developer. Where are you?

Seriously?

- Seriously? - I'm here.

I jeopardize my license and you dress him like that?

Look at him, it's even worse than his bar mitzvah suit.

[man] What do you know about fashion? Uber driver.

That asshole just stood me up.

- What do you mean? - [Joseph] No.

Fabiano says he won't come, he says...

After six months, he ditches at the last minute.

No big deal, we don't give a shit about him.

We do give a shit, he's the tech guy.

I can't go in without him, forget it.

We're getting into the technical part. I don't want to bore you...

Wait, Mr. Hazan, but that part is a key factor to us.

We'd like to hear from your developer.

Right. Hello, everyone. Mark Zuckerberg, nice to meet you.

Sorry?

Nice to meet you.

- Mark who? - Yeah, right.

Mark Zuckernberg.

People get us mixed up, but we're acquainted...

[laughs] All right, enough. Stop right there.

I whipped up this app on...

JavaScript.

Right, I whipped up the app on JavaScript for maximum smoothness...

In JavaScript?

Not in Python?

Because that's the new standard now.

Right. I'm going to be completely honest.

I've never been into snakes. They've always freaked me out.

I passed on many vacation opportunities because I was afraid of them.

Come on, that's enough.

[Joseph] Anyway, back to our core subject.

I am very proud to introduce you to this wonder called:

Sweetch.

Sweetch will convince the person you're talking to

that you've just lost signal.

A kind of "tunnel effect" if you will,

available on your phone at any time.

Pretty awesome, right?

Okay, I'm gonna make a quick demo for you. Like, um...

"Hey, darling. Are we on for tonight? I need to know.

Don't tell me last minute. Always a bit of a pain... You're a shit."

"Listen, honey, you're catching me off guard.

Watch out, I'm getting into a tunnel."

The word "tunnel" will activate the Sweetch, and now that the app is on,

what the person will hear will sound like this:

Ahem... Listen, honey... I think...

[speaking gibberish]

I'm ruining it. I'm not good at this, but the app is amazing.

[man] Thank you, sir.

- [woman] No. - [man 2] No, Mr. Hazan, thank you.

Thank you, Mr. Hazan.

- We got the idea. - Unfortunately, it won't work for us.

We're sorry.

[man] All right, all right, I'll pay.

...my dad. Give me what you owe me by the end of the week.

[shopkeeper bell rings]

- Hey, man. - Hello, Joseph.

Do you know what time it is?

[man] Where were you?

Your sister shouldn't unload the truck alone.

I'm stuck with my arthritis.

I don't mind, Dad.

Well, I do, honey.

You know where I was, Dad.

- I had a meeting. - [dad] Really?

Is that why you're dressed like a heater salesman?

Put on your protective shoes when you're here.

Stop. He just got here.

How did it go?

How do you think? I blew it.

Tell me, my bubbeleh. How was the meeting?

Why are you even asking? Can't you see his face?

Of course he failed with his "tunnel" app.

When you don't want to talk, you hang up.

Did I ask you anything?

No, so, mind your own sausages.

How many times does he have to fail?

He has an amazing trade.

Why is he focusing on this crap?

Leave him alone. Can't you see he's devastated?

He's been devastated for 35 years.

That's why I yell. So he'll get better.

You realize it's not working?

I just hope you'll find a man that's a little more of a go-getter.

It's dumb, but this meeting, one year after my mom passed...

I thought it was a sign.

The planets were aligned, it was going to work.

Thought I wouldn't work at the butcher shop.

- Sorry, love. - No, I guess not. I'm fine.

Don't worry.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

[with mouth full] So sorry. Honey, I'm so sorry.

I thought that Uber was your brother, with his curls.

- You sit down now! - Sorry.

- Sit down now. - So sorry.

I have a hearing in an hour and I reek.

It's a disaster. I'm sorry, sir, it's everywhere.

Stop!

Sit down. We are telling my family. Now!

Yes, we'll tell your family. Of course.

I'll talk to Ali.

It's been a year. What's the holdup?

It's complicated, you're his little sister.

I've known you since you were that big. I made you bounce on my lap. Now...

Now I bounce on you.

- Ugh. That's not what I meant. - What's wrong?

- Own it. - Yes, you bounce on me.

But the point is, I love you.

You know? That's what I actually meant.

And I can't stop telling your brother dirty things.

Dirty like what?

It's just...

So he thinks I'm still single I tell him I do dirty things with girls.

Like what?

Last time I told him...

I ended up with, uh...

tomato skin on the condom.

- You're gross. Why'd you do that? - No idea.

I don't know why.

Which makes it harder for me to tell him I'm dating his younger sister

now that he has all those dirty images in his head.

You'd rather pretend you're a pig over telling him?

- That's right. - Really?

Right.

No, I...

- I can tell him, no problem. - No.

I should tell him, he's my bro.

Well, your brother. Fuck, my buddy. You see how complicated it is.

After that I'll tell your parents.

And since your older brother is in prison...

I haven't talked to Yusuf in three years. Start by telling Ali.

Honey, if you don't mind, I'm out of noodles. Let me grab one...

Here we go. That's a gorgeous one right there.

Dip it in sauce here...

- Awesome. - Is it?

With all the shoes I'm bringing with me,

if you sell all the pairs at the market price

it's worth almost 40,000 euros.

[speaks Japanese]

It's gonna be great for the store.

And tell me,

how much do you think...

this pair is worth?

Tamoko.

This one is priceless. I can't wait to be with you.

I'm fed up with my family.

I feel like I'm carrying everybody on my shoulders.

How are things going with your dad?

[scoffs] He pretends he doesn't understand I'm gonna leave, but...

You know, it's gonna be okay.

- I'm sure. - It will be.

You're going to love Tokyo.

You're the one I love. I miss you.

- I have to go, I'll call you later? - Okay.

Love you.

No way Aïda will end up with a guy like me.

[grandma] Don't be silly.

Mixed couples are very well accepted.

That's not the issue, Grandma.

She's wonderful, and successful, and I'm just...

I screw up every single thing I try.

Now it's inevitable. I'll be a butcher.

Be patient, Bubbeleh. Something will work out.

You see this one?

This is Georges.

Yeah.

It was growing backwards, this idiot.

I tried everything, nothing worked.

And then one day, suddenly,

I guess something clicked, and he grew in the right direction.

One day you too will find your direction.

Like Georges.

Right. I'll be the greatest of all bonsais. Exciting.

Sorry we have to do this now. I know it's not the best time.

But I'm leaving, so...

We'll see about that.

There's nothing to "see" about. I'm leaving, period.

So, let me start with accountability.

This year's balance sheet is a catastrophe.

[alarm beeps]

MEDICATION

Dad, stop with those. The doctor said you're fine.

[daughter] Dad.

And your mother was fine, too.

She never took a pill.

See what happened to her.

[daughter] So, as I was saying...

This year money-wise has been a disaster, it's never been this bad.

Disaster. This will pass. It's just a phase.

No, Dad, it's clearly not a phase.

Ah, Ms. Know-It-All here, huh?

[daughter] Dad, wake up.

It's been a disaster since Mom's been gone.

We spent twice as much as we've earned. Bailiffs will show up soon.

"Bailiffs"? Come on, that's a stretch.

Because you've read the annual report?

- I looked it over a bit, yeah. - Looked it over.

If we keep on like this, the shop will be worthless in six months.

Losing the shop means losing the apartment.

- Where will we live? - [Dad] What are you talking about?

How can such a gem

in the heart of Paris be worthless overnight?

- Can you explain that? - Yes.

- You'll have to sell the building... - No!

I'm not selling the shop. Not ever. You hear me?

Am I clear?

Do whatever you want, Dad. I'm gone next week anyway.

Fine. Go far away. Go in peace.

You're not the only one bringing solutions. I thought about it, too.

- [daughter] All right. - Yeah.

First, to bail us out we'll sell the country house.

- Dad. - What?

The problem with the shop isn't money, it's the management.

Knows it all. "It's management." Sure it's management.

Well, I have a lawyer, and he made me sign some papers.

The butcher shop...

is yours.

You just need to sign.

What? It's all mine now?

From now on, the boss of the Hazan Butcher Shop is you.

You don't seem to be happy about that.

- Of course I'm happy. - You should be.

But I should think about it a little bit.

[dad] Think about what?

About your cell phone app for the tunnel? For whatever, God knows what?

Think about what, Joseph? Hey.

I guess you're right.

[funky music playing]

- [Aure] I can't believe it's happening. - Brothers, I want to make a toast.

Let's raise our glasses to Aure's departure for Tokyo.

[cheering]

- And to Joe-Joe, the butcher. - Not funny.

I'd love to inherit a business.

Then inherit one! I'll give it to you now!

Be a butcher, you'll have a great life.

We're about to go bankrupt anyway.

I'll only buy my meat from you.

Thanks, very kind.

Hey, check out those two at the bar. Look at them.

[Ali] Dude, be my wingman.

Let's go, come with me.

Say nice things about me.

I'm really not in the mood for that.

[Ali] Not in the mood for what?

Wait, 'cause of the chick you met last week?

No, It's over with her.

What happened?

Last time, we fucked for a bit and, uh...

Then her dog came in and started to, uh...

sniff around my butt.

[Joseph] Yeah, man, the dog licked my balls.

[Ali] Wait, what?

I saw her get horny off that, so, I let it happen.

And I enjoyed it, too.

It feels good to have a dog's tongue in your hole.

- [Ali] You're a freak! You like that? - Yeah.

The next day I told her I'm not into animal stuff, so, I dumped her.

You always get into weird shit.

Yeah, I have no idea why.

Olive, you down?

- Me? - Yeah.

- Let's go, man. - Are you going to bring up Mélanie?

Not fair. She's the mother of my son, of course I bring her up sometimes.

Four years and you're still miserable.

- It's not bugging me. - Yes, it totally is.

- I'm done. - [Oliver] Let's bet.

I don't need help to take them home. Just watch.

You should tell him about Aïda.

Not now, not after that dog-lick story.

He won't kick you when you're down.

- No. Drop it. - Do it, dude.

I'll tell him, but not now. Thank you.

Guess who scored?

I got the number.

- No way! - Are you serious?

No!

[all laughing]

[dad singing] ♪ I left my country ♪

♪ I left my house ♪

[strumming guitar]

Ouch.

[sighs]

♪ And I left my blue sky ♪

♪ I left my house ♪

♪ My family, my sad life ♪

♪ Facing the horizon ♪

Gérard!

For God's sake.

I'm old, but not deaf.

Stop this nightmare. I'm trying to sleep!

Stupid mother-in-law.

Always here to break my balls.

And now the magic is gone.

- Tons of guys are worse than you. - Makes me feel better.

- Seriously. - I'm a failure. That's all I am.

Stop saying that shit. Don't say that about yourself.

Isn't that Clémentine Cendron? With the hat.

- She's a nightmare. - She's hot.

- Turn around. She's a real nightmare. - She's not bad.

- I swear. - Huh?

She talks so close to your face. It's a turnoff.

But she's hot.

- Her breath stinks. - Maybe it's changed.

- Hello! - Holy shit!

It's been forever, boys.

- Yeah, it's been a while. - Yeah.

- How are you? - Good.

What are you up to now?

I was an influencer for 10 years in the States.

- Cool. - What about you?

Well... I'm a butcher.

Butcher! Whoo!

What about you, Oliver?

I'm in fashion.

No way! Awesome. I should follow you on Instagram.

- I'm not on it. - You're not?

Everyone's on it.

We work on creations that are a bit more experimental.

- Underground things. - Yeah.

So, you're out in the open, smoking a joint, huh?

Like in California.

- L.A. style? - I'm not worried.

My father is going to become the Minister of Health and legalize it.

Within three months, coffee shops will open in Paris.

It's gonna spread like little mushrooms, and it's gonna be a huge biz.

- But shush... - [man] Clem!

Coming! I have to go.

Pieces, buddies. Let's meet on Insta.

It's @clemcendron.

- Like your name, right? - Yeah.

Easy.

You think it's true, what she said about legalizing cannabis?

True? What do you mean? Can't you see she's in outer space?

Did you see her teeth? She's a wine barrel.

- She has terrible teeth. - But I did buy her story.

Whoa!

Okay, she really is on another planet.

Why would you believe her? Crazy.

[sighs impatiently]

Can he hurry up? It's gonna start soon.

- What's his name again? - [Aure] Limoge.

Mr. Limoge?

This really is a beautiful barn you've got.

A bit cluttered, but charming. Can I see the kitchen again?

That won't be possible, I have to open my butcher shop.

Just five minutes.

No, I'm sorry. Come back next week. Before 9 a.m. or from 12 to 2.

- Well, I'm here now. - [gunshot]

[Aure] What was that?

Hunting season started already?

- No. - Yes.

- No? - Well, no.

Yes, but slowly.

[gunshots]

- What does that mean? - It starts up slowly.

- It's quite noisy. - No.

- It's... - [gunshots]

[gunshots]

- Oh, I see. I know what you're up to. - What?

- From 12 to 2. - Wait, come on.

You think I was born yesterday?

- No. - You're nothing but crooks.

- Mr. Limoge, wait. - That was rude.

[gunshots]

Fucking skeet shooting range.

Homeland Security, Lancret, guys.

We can switch from kosher to halal.

You can also do half-kosher half-halal.

It could be huge.

Could be a really big shitty idea as well.

I have no idea what to do with this butcher shop.

Fucking shit. Lassaire is Minister of Transportation.

He hates us Ubers.

I can always lease the place.

- Minister of Agriculture, Rochain. - You're not going to list them all.

- Evaux for Environment. - We don't care.

And Health, Cendron.

- Shut up. - Wait, who?

- Say it again? - Rochain, Agriculture.

- [Oliver] We don't care. - No, the guy for Health.

Cendron, Minister of Health.

- Let me see. - Right here.

- Is it Cendron? - Is it?

- "Cendron" Cendron? - It's him. Look.

Cendron, huh?

[Oliver] That crazy broad spoke the truth?

They're legalizing.

- We're the first to know. - For sure?

- You know what this means? - I didn't know.

What's going on? Can you explain?

Joe?

- Didn't believe a single word from her. - Weed will be legalized.

Of course it will. One day.

- So? - You don't get it. Not one day.

This guy, Cendron, the Minister of Health, is legalizing that shit.

[Joseph] If we get ahead of this...

- We're talking loads of cash, man. - ...now?

Brilliant. We'll be rich.

This is your genius idea? Be a drug dealer?

There's no drug dealing. It's going to be legal.

You know what? I got an idea for the butcher shop. You ready?

Your butcher Hazan...

becomes...

Your bud-cher.

Great idea.

Are you out of your mind? You think Dad will let you do that?

- What are you talking about? - [Joseph] Dad is out of the picture.

The shop is mine. Once I sign this, I own the shop.

He'll no longer have a say.

Are we doing this or what?

Are we doing this fucking bud-cher shop together?

- I'm totally in. - I got one onboard.

- I'm with you. - Man. Aure?

No, forget me. I'm moving to Japan.

Obviously, I'm not part of your plan.

Right. Never mind, she doesn't get it.

Hey, Ali. You're a smart man. What's your answer?

- No. - What's going on?

No. I'm the only Arab of the group, I'll be the first to go down.

My brother is in prison for this bullshit.

- I have a criminal record, and I'm so in. - You're always into dumb ideas.

I'm talking about a business that's regulated by the state.

Mm-mm.

Come on, it's just a...

I'm so disappointed. I hoped we could do it as a family, but...

- No. - I'm still in, you know.

Of course you're in. I'm glad you're in.

[Oliver] Gérard.

Excuse me.

I learned the kaddish, and if you and Joe don't mind,

I'd love to read it this time.

No, thank you, but... I'd prefer it someone from the family.

Yeah, but I thought since Béné was like a mother to me...

No. That's very kind, but I asked Gilbert to take care of it.

[reciting in Hebrew]

Amen.

[reciting in Hebrew]

Amen.

[continues reciting in Hebrew]

[all] Amen.

You'll come to see me in Tokyo?

Sure, as soon as I work less. I promise.

That means never, right?

Are you gonna tell them about your girlfriend?

I'm leaving in five days. There's no time.

At least I won't have to hide there.

Unlike you and Joseph.

We don't have to. We're telling everyone this week.

- Really? - Yeah.

- No way. Congrats. - Mm-hm.

[Oliver] Your dad could have let me do it.

Gilbert ruined it with his enunciation.

I wanted to grab the book, throw it in his face. Shame on him.

My father's the way he is. He never would have let you do it.

He'll lose it when you tell him about the butcher shop.

- I won't telling him about it just yet. - Huh?

No. I gave him the papers earlier.

I'll go to his lawyer, and once it's officially mine,

then yeah, I'll sit him down and quietly spill the beans.

- Quietly? - Yeah.

Right, he'll definitely be quiet when you tell him.

- [man] Mr. Hazan? - Yes.

Can we talk for a second?

Go ahead. I'll meet you there.

- Morning. - Morning.

I'm sorry to bother you with this today, but...

No, no, no. Don't worry.

The plot for your mother has never been paid.

How come? That's impossible.

My father must have...

I can never get ahold of him. I don't know how he gets in.

What's for sure is he never paid for the plot.

So, um...

I'm sorry, but...

if I don't get the money by tonight...

I'll have to move your mother to the indigents' area.

The what area?

- Indigents. - What's indigent?

Well, it's... It's a mass grave.

For poor people.

You're not doing that at all, all right?

You leave my mother where she is. I'll handle it.

[indistinct chatter]

- Why did you do this to us? - What?

The plot.

Ah, fuck. He told you? I told him to keep his mouth shut.

Do you realize I had to pay so they wouldn't dig her up?

- All right. - Dig her up!

I'll pay you back. I owe nothing to anyone.

Are you stupid? I don't give a fuck about money.

- You're calling your father stupid? - I'm sorry, but you're stupid.

- Don't say that. - You're doing shit.

You're ruining the shop, don't pay Mom's plot. Are you kidding me?

Don't be so loud. Be quiet. I'll take care of it.

Of what? You're in charge of nothing.

Joseph. Come here.

Are you trying to teach me a lesson?

Is that what you're doing? You spoiled child and failure.

- I'm a spoiled child? - Yes, you are.

What's my gift for that? The fucking butcher shop?

Shut the fuck up!

Fuck!

You don't want to be a butcher? Look.

Here you go. You won't be.

Little jerk.

[closing theme playing]

Subtitle translation by Nadège Traoré-Dulot