Original subtitles

[Larry] Previously on Doom Patrol...

[Dr. Harrison] Oh, it's probably another time goat.

Let's not get paranoid.

That's Isabel Feathers.

[screaming]

[Kipling] There was a break-in at Horst Eismann's

and the only thing that was stolen was the necklace.

Whoever's working for Immortus now has it

and is looking for the other pieces.

You're certain Immortus can help?

[Kipling] The pieces inside of you can still be extracted.

[baby crying]

[Larry groaning]

[Vic] If Larry's in trouble in there, I've got to help him.

[Rita] How do we stop this, Wally?

[Wally] It's too late. Immortus rises.

Every new beginning must start with an ending.

-[bird caws] -[Wally screams]

You're the final piece to the puzzle.

Didn't see that coming.

-[alarm blaring] -[electronic voice] Intruders detected.

[electronic voice] Intruders detected.

[Madame Rouge] Rita. The bulls are onto us.

Okay, you need to help me pick up this twat's scribblings

so that we can skedaddle.

Rita, I realize that you're having

some kind of a disassociative episode right now,

but would you please re-associate and fucking help me?

Bendy, please!

[woman over PA] Would the Death Squad report to cell block D?

-Death Squad to cell block D. -Death Squad.

Uh, maybe we should.

Yeah, maybe.

But, how do we?

Oh, I've got it. I've got it.

[electronic voice] Intruders detected.

-[alarm blaring] -[electronic voice] Intruders detected.

Intruders detected.

Intruders detected.

[Rita] Can't you move any faster? We're completely exposed here.

[Madame Rouge] I'm a suitcase!

Bloody ball sacks! We've got company.

[Rita] Is it the Death Squad?

-[Madame Rouge shushes] -[Rita] Shit! Shit! Shit!

[squad member] Colonel Samsonite.

[electronic voice] Intruders detected. Intruders detected. Intruders detected.

[Madame Rouge laughing quietly]

[electronic voice] Intruders detected.

[blades clanging]

So, how's that plan coming along, Clifford?

[Cliff] Got 'em right where I want 'em.

What are you guys even doing here?

How about a thanks for coming to help your captured asses?

[Cliff] Technically, we only came to get Jane's longevity back.

But we probably would've tried to help you. If there was time.

Right, sorry. Thanks for the help.

When did you plan on starting, by the way, with the helping?

Just wanna make sure I don't miss it.

[gate slams]

[Deric] Look, we're all stuck in here now.

Maybe instead of picking at each other,

we can try to be more solution orientated.

You know, find a way to get outta here.

Who's got ideas?

You telling us how to do superhero shit?

You fucking boy scout. [chuckles]

-[Cliff] Don't fuck with our process. -Yeah. [laughs scornfully]

Welcome to my world.

Ay, but let me know when you guys wanna problem-solve.

'Cause I have an idea.

[Cliff laughing] What the fuck is that?

A rock.

[rumbling]

Booyah! Rock beats scissors, motherfuckers!

-Nice! -[laughing]

Not bad, for a normie.

[Cliff] Told ya I had 'em right where I wanted 'em. [grunts]

Let's go get my stolen longevity.

What about Larry?

Oh, right.

Ay, we got him.

[Cliff] Sweet.

Smell you fools later.

[Madame Rouge] Oh, my God. My insides feel so weird.

Like my liver's where my lungs should be.

Did you move anything around when you were inside me?

Rita, we don't know that he's dead.

We don't know that he's not.

You know, when you Kill a fly, what do you see?

Bit of blood, some white goo.

Maybe a broken leg or two

mixed in with some crumpled wings that may never fly again.

Point is, is that if he... You know, if you really had killed him,

then there'd be, you know, he'd have left something disgusting behind.

Like blood.

Feces, droplets of urine sort of thing.

You mean, like this?

[mouthing] Fuck.

Um...

You know what? We should just focus on something else.

Like this mountain of papers we brought back.

Yeah.

Maybe there's something in here

that will tell us about this, you know, Immortus fellow.

Um, we may have more immediate fish to fillet.

"Gone to Orqwith for J's longevity

and rescue Larry if there's time."

That's it. Larry's longevity, gone.

Well, we don't know that for sure.

It's Larry. Trust me, it's gone.

[sighs] Cliff's officially the last longevital man standing.

Uh-huh. And he's just marched his metal tuchus into the lion's den.

We have to go after them.

Does this note tell us how they got there?

No.

It's a stupid note. This is a stupid note.

Okay. Well, fine. Back to plan A.

We'll go through Wally's papers and, uh, see if there's...

There's a map or something.

Some kind of map that would give us, um, you know...

Mmm. Best of luck to you.

Um, okay, where are you going?

Upstairs. To quietly expire.

Right. Well, you go enjoy your nap.

Whilst I look at this shite art. I mean, what the fuck?

[Cliff] Okay, I get we're looking for your longevity.

But what the fuck does your longevity even look like?

[Jane] Fuck if I know.

[Cliff] What do you remember?

Purple.

[Cliff] Purple, what... That's it? That's all you remember?

I was a fucking baby!

-[Cliff] Oh, shit. -[Jane] And there it is.

[Cliff] How the fuck are we gonna get past these beauty school dropouts?

Also, how do they dress themselves? Or pee?

What?

Hey! Edward Scissorfucks!

Listen up, fuckos!

Back away from the lava lamp.

Or I'll fuck the tinman's longevity into kingdom come.

-[Cliff] Tinman, really? -Shut up, R2-Dipshit.

[Cliff] That's my girl.

[Wally] No need for that, friend.

[Cliff] What the fuck?

You again?

I have something to offer you, Mr. Steele.

A world of possibilities.

[Cliff] Fuck's that supposed to mean?

It doesn't fucking matter, because we're not fucking interested.

-[Cliff] Yeah. -So you can go

fuck yourself into oblivion.

[Cliff] Fuck yeah!

Is that true, Cliff?

That you're not interested in seeing the limitless potentialities

that Immortus has to offer you?

-[Cliff] Mmm. -[Wally] A future, Cliff.

Which, from what I understand, you don't have much of at the moment.

[Cliff] Um...

Fucking A right he's not interested. Tell 'em, Cliff.

[Cliff] Uh...

Cliff!

[Cliff] I mean, we could just, you know, just listen to the guy, right?

[Jane] What? What the fuck are you talking about?

[Cliff sighs]

Go on.

[blades clanging in distance]

Hey, is that something?

[Vic] I know that blue glow. That's Larry and Keeg.

So how do we get around those guys?

Man, I fucking hate those guys.

Can you drop some more boulders?

[Deric] Nah, there's too many of 'em.

You wanna get to your boys,

we're gonna have to fight.

My arm cannon? Why'd you draw that?

Are you kidding me? "Cause it's fucking dope.

[gasps softly]

Damn...

Here, you take it.

Thanks, but... I was thinking it might look pretty badass on you.

Really?

Yeah.

[breath trembling]

-[cannon powering up] -Oh my...

[chuckles]

Yo, this does feel nice. [chuckles]

So what about you? What's your weapon of choice?

[knocking on door]

Go away!

[cart rattling]

Does "go away" mean something different in Scotland?

Yes, it means stop being a silly old sausage

and help me build an inter dimensional portal to Orqwith.

I beg your pardon?

I found the schematics

in creepy Walt Disney's doodlings.

I also found the parts we need,

and a few we don't, if you know what I mean.

Now all I need is Y-O-U.

Which spells "you".

It's always best to have a second set of eyes

when you're attempting to rip a hole into space-time,

that's what I always say.

The thing is, as it turns out, I'm lousy at this superhero business.

And I'm far too busy feeling unmoored and useless to build a portal today.

Now, come on, Bendy. That's not how I see it.

You know, we would never have gotten into the Ant Farm if it wasn't for you.

Where I proceeded to erase out of existence

our best bet at finding information on Immortus

and recapturing our longevity.

True. And we found a schematic,

which will get us to the place where Immortus is being raised,

so we can find actual Immortus.

So let's get a-building, sister.

Whoa, there we go! And she's back. Elasti is back.

How could you let me go to the Ant Farm with you?

You insisted, remember?

But you're the leader.

You should've exercised better leadership.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Have you any idea how upset I was

when Wally was smooshed out of existence?

You know, I was gonna rescue him

from the miserable life that I sentenced him to.

Are you telling me I've ruined your chance to redeem yourself

with the person you ordered to kill my lover?

Whoa there, Nelly.

Let's just press that cancel and continue button, shall we?

Because, you know what? You and I were good.

We were on the path to goodness.

Remember? Little girls, holding hands? Sweet as sugar pie?

Let's not let one little smooshy hiccup take us two steps back.

What do you say? You know, we could just take a deep, cleansing breath

and just, you know, release the tension.

I'm not feeling very in control of my emotions right now,

so you might not want to be in the same room as me.

In fact, I'm feeling a bit bloaty, if you know what I mean.

Okay.

-Do you want me to shut... -Shut the door!

[door closes]

[exhaling]

[indistinct chanting]

[Wally] I was miserable at the Ant Farm.

Imprisoned and forced to create monstrous weapons.

That's when Niles Caulder introduced me to the Immortus Project.

Of course Niles was involved in this shitshow.

[Cliff] Fucking Niles.

He said there was a piece of an ancient immortal being

somewhere in the world.

He wanted me to create a creature that could sniff it out.

[Cliff] Like one of those corpse-sniffing dogs?

Yes, exactly. Very good, Cliff.

-[clangs] -[Cliff] What?

[Wally] At first I refused.

But then, he told me about the girl with powers like mine.

He needed a piece of this being to protect her.

It was a chance for me to finally do something good.

-[donkey braying, farting] -[Cliff] What the fuck?

Months after, Niles returned to tell me

Peanut Butter was successful.

[Cliff] The fuck's Peanut Butter?

-The donkey, dipshit. -[Cliff] Oh.

Niles showed me the piece of this immortal being.

The Lord Immortus.

-That's when I saw it. -What?

Everything.

[Cliff] Everything?

Immortus can create new possibilities for everyone.

All that's left now, is you, Cliff.

I want you to see for yourself

what I saw.

The possibilities.

[Cliff] I don't know what to say, except fuck that, and fuck you.

[whooshing]

Booyah.

You ready?

Hell yeah. [chuckling]

Who wants a taste?

-Eat shit, you mother... -[cannon powering up]

[yells]

[groaning]

I'm all good, man.

Get 'em, Vic.

[blades clashing]

[Vic grunting]

[grunts]

[grunting loudly]

-You okay, D? -[groans] I think I broke my ass.

[chuckles] Not as easy as it looks, huh?

[Deric groaning] Nope. Not like that at all.

[groans]

-Here, take it. -No.

What? What do you mean, no? Bro, they're coming. Just take it.

I said no!

[Cliff] Is that Niles' longevity necklace?

It is. I got it from a fellow acolyte.

Touch it.

And see your possibilities.

Whatever. Touch the stupid thing.

So George RR Windbag can shut the fart up

and we can get the fuck out of here.

[Cliff] Really? 'Cause a minute ago, you told him to fuck himself sideways.

Do you wanna touch this weirdo's shriveled up dick charm or not?

-[Cliff] Okay. -Cool.

[Cliff] The fuck?

[Vic grunting]

I got your back, D.

Put your weight on your back leg to absorb the kick.

Use the top of the notch to aim.

Fire!

-Nice! -[Deric grunts]

[both grunting]

-[Deric] Damn it! -[Vic grunts]

[both breathing heavily]

-Let's go get Larry. -[Deric] Yeah.

[muttering indistinctly]

Fucking hell.

Ah.

Wow, she lives,

she moves.

Feeling better?

[grunts softly]

How about now?

[exhaling]

Okay, sulking begets more sulking.

So it's time you got back on the proverbial.

I'm not sulking.

Just reached a realization, which I'm embracing wholeheartedly.

Everything I touch turns to shit.

Not literally. That would be disgusting.

But it... In some ways, it would be better

than how I actually turn things to shit.

Okay, well, you know, Rita,

my personal track record isn't that much better.

I have failed at most things I've tried.

Revenge against Niles. Joining the Brotherhood of Evil.

Being a good friend to the only people I've ever really cared about.

But the thing is, in life you are either trying to head up or to head down.

And sometimes just trying has got to be good enough.

Now, our friends are in trouble,

and I would rather fail at trying to save them

than succeed at doing nothing.

When we were trapped in my movie and you didn't try to save me,

was that you trying to head up or trying to head down?

I wanted to help, but I couldn't.

I couldn't figure out how.

So, I had a few drinks to get the creative juices flowing

and instead, I came up with creative ideas

on how to continue drinking.

But, um...

[clicks tongue] You're right to remind me of that failure, too.

[Rita sighs]

[clears throat]

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

And sometimes I think that the universe is... [clears throat]

Conspiring to keep us enemies.

I was thinking maybe we shouldn't let it.

Fuck the universe.

-[glasses clink] -[Rita chuckles]

[Cliff] I don't know what the fuck this is, but I'm glad you came with me.

I didn't want to come here, dipshit.

I was trying to gank the longevity necklace.

[Cliff] Why?

For longevity, asshole!

Isn't that why we're here?

-[Cliff] What about Larry? -Him, too.

[Cliff] What the fuck?

Paper goods, the worst aisle.

This is my world of possibilities.

Forget all this.

We need to get the hell out of here.

[Cliff] Yep.

Dad!

[Cliff] Clara?

-[Jane sighs] -[Clara] Is Rory with you?

-[Cliff] What? -Dad, where the hell is Rory?

-[Cliff] Uh... -Cliff, this isn't real.

[Cliff] Uh, he's not with you?

Does it look like he's with me?

You were supposed to be watching him.

Cliff.

Rory! Rory, honey!

[Cliff] What is this?

This is bullshit, is what it is.

-[Cliff] But, but... -But, but, this is a lie.

Okay? Don't get sucked in.

Yeah.

Dad, help me.

-[Jane] Cliff. Don't-- -[Cliff] Coming, sweetheart!

Fuck!

[Deric] That was so dope!

Why would you ever wanna give this hero gig up? [chuckles]

Hey, yo, if Calvin and Marcus could have seen us... [chuckles softly]

[Vic] Uh-huh.

Man, bro. You still don't know what this means to people?

You're right. I don't.

Vic, back home, you were bigger than Superman.

Great.

Yo, what's up, man?

Doesn't this mean anything to you?

Yo, man, I'm so sick and tired of hearing

what being Cyborg means to you and everyone else.

Do you want to know what my tech meant to me?

It meant waking up from the darkest, emptiest sleep I ever had,

to a body that I didn't even recognize and a face that wasn't mine.

Yo, I lost everything.

My mom, football, girls... and my friends.

That's such bullshit.

You never lost us. You left us.

You really don't think I wanted to see you guys?

That I needed you?

Shit, you was my family.

I couldn't even look myself in the face.

So how could I have possibly faced y'all?

[... I didn't know.

I'm sorry.

Come on, man.

[Vic] Hey.

[Larry] Vic and... friend.

Deric.

[Larry] What are you guys doing here?

Come on. I know you wanna say it.

Really?

Bro, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

[chuckles]

Come with us if you want to live.

[Vic chuckles]

[Larry] I don't think so.

Well, that... That looks fucking terrifying, is how it looks.

[both laugh]

It looks like the door to a nightmare.

It does, it does. And we're going to go through it, like fucking morons.

Like fucking morons!

Not morons, like superheroes.

[laughing]

I've actually got something to tell you.

-[Rita] Oh, God, that sounds serious. -Mmm-hmm.

It is. It is quite serious.

By the way, um, I...

You know when you would treat me particularly poorly,

-which was quite often... -Mmm.

... would do a secret naughty thing with your toothbrush.

I don't need to know. [laughs and shushes]

I would transform myself into a wee beaver

with big beaver teeth,

-big nasty beaver teeth... -[laughs] Oh.

...and I would shove it right up my wee...

I would shove it... Shove it! Right up my wee beaver-beaver.

-Oh. -[both laughing]

[claps] I see.

I'm so sorry.

Well, I suppose, um... [clears throat]

...I have something to confess to you as well.

-You don't have to. Mmm-mmm. -[clears throat]

Is it about a toothbrush?

[chuckles softly] No.

Wally isn't the first person that I've killed.

I killed The Brain too. [clears throat] Murdered, to be more accurate.

-Mmm. -And I don't feel remotely bad about it.

I'm not feeling entirely bad about Wally, either.

And yes, I did watch him kill Malcolm,

but one would think that a normal person would have more than a pang of guilt.

Well, but, who's to say you're not normal?

-Hey, who's to say? -[chuckles]

I also... [chuckling]

[clears throat] .. .killed a sleazeball producer.

[clears throat] Again, accidentally, and again, without much remorse.

Apparently, a superhero doesn't make a habit of killing people,

accidentally or otherwise.

So, it just all might have been

a fool's errand for me to try to become one. [chuckles]

Oh, all of this, why | keep rambling on is just to say,

I am in no particular position

to have judged you so harshly after all this time

when I am basically as bad as you. [chuckles]

As bad as me? Well, I think you might be worse.

"Cause you are a fucking serial Killer.

For fuck's sake.

[both laughing]

Yes.

Yes, you are. You're a fucking serial Killer.

I mean... [mimics stabbing] You know.

[laughing]

Okay.

What... What is left to do on this nightmare door?

A wee dab of wacky Wally's green ink.

Oh.

A little dab here and a little dab there.

[Rita chuckles]

[Madame Rouge sighs]

There could be anything on the other side of this horrific door.

Our friends are on the other side of it.

-Hmm. -[speaking indistinctly]

[sighs]

Okay, after you, Ms. Wuornos.

[chuckling]

-No, after you. -After you.

-After you. -After you.

[Rita] Wait.

[Cliff] Rory. Come here, buddy.

-Rory? Rory! -Cliff, stop!

This isn't real. None of this is fucking real!

That's not your daughter. We're not in Trader Blow's.

And you already know where Rory is.

[Cliff] I know it's not real.

But it's my possibility, and I wanna know what the fuck it is.

God damn it!

If you're going to be a fucking idiot, well, can you at least

swing by the home goods aisle and get a knife or something?

We're going to need it when we get back to Dorkwith.

[Cliff] That's fucking heavy. Grab that.

Rory!

[feedback screeches on PA]

[child singing on PA] I gotta touch you

'Cause baby we'll be...

-[Cliff] Rory! -Shit.

[child] At the drive-in In the old man's Ford

Behind the bushes

Till I'm screaming for more, more, more Down the basement

Lock the cellar door And baby...

[Cliff] He's all grown up.

What the fuck, Rory? Are you trying to destroy me?

Because it's working.

-[Cliff] He's fucking perfect. -Cliff, stop right-fucking-now!

He's only like this when you're around, Dad.

You've undermined my parenting at every turn.

[voice fading] And now my child doesn't respect me.

[Jane] When has a fantasy sequence ever worked out for us?

Pop-Pop!

[groans softly]

[Cliff] Rory! Rory!

What happened? Where'd he go?

He's right where you left him.

He's waiting for you.

And you can enjoy the formative years of his life

with sound body and mind.

But it's a possibility only Immortus can provide.

-[grunts] -Argh.

What are you doing? Let's get the fuck out of here.

What?

No. Cliff.

You stupid metal asshole!

Don't do this! Don't--

[Cliff] Don't hurt her.

[Jane] Cliff, you know what this means for the rest of us, right?

We're your family too, Cliff.

You fucking moron!

Please!

Rory needs you.

I need you.

God! Cliff, please!

[rumbling]

[ground shaking]

Guys, something's happening.

[Larry] Safe travels, fellas.

Larry, stop screwing around.

[Larry] I'm not screwing around.

Look, you need to understand that what Keeg saw in the future was not good.

So not good that he'd rather stay here in this phony hellhole,

if there's a chance we can avoid it.

And I cannot and will not let another child of mine down.

I'd rather die than do that again.

Okay, look, this is important to Keeg

and you're trying to be a good dad. I get it.

But something really not good is going to happen right here, right now.

You're willing to risk your life for Keeg's wish, and that's fine.

But are you willing to risk his life too?

[Larry sighs] Hey, pal.

[Jane] Come on, let's go!

-Get up! -[acolytes singing indistinctly]

[Jane] We can break free. We can still do this.

Please don't let this be the end!

[acolytes singing] Cleanse the sins of the Earth

Pretty please

Immortus, praise to thee...

[Cliff] I know I'm putting my faith in a whole lot of nothing.

But I'm doing this for you, Rory.

[Oven Mitt Rory] Are you?

[Cliff grunts]

No! Cliff!

[breathing raggedly]

[Wally] Can you feel it?

The time is upon us.

Immortus is nigh!

[acolytes singing indistinctly]

-[Rita speaking indistinctly] -[Madame Rouge] Hello! Is anybody home?

Someone order a rescue?

-Oh, wow. -[chuckling] Ooh.

[Madame Rouge] It's like a disco in here.

Oh! Hey, there's Cliffie! Let's go rescue him.

Oh, yes, let's go get Cliffie.

-We are your rescue rangers. -It's time to go, right?

[Cliff] It's too late. You can't stop it.

Stop that shit. Stop that shit.

-Nuts to that. -Yes, nuts!

[both mumbling indistinctly]

[both laughing]

[grunts]

[grunting]

[screams]

Who in the ginger fuck are you?

Casey?

Father, you don't have to do this.

How can this be?

I never brought you to life.

No. You just drew me into an endless war with my father.

She gave me life.

Jane.

-Are you all right? -What the hell are you doing here?

Are you Wally Sage?

You're the girl.

Niles' girl.

It's all come full circle.

This is meant to be.

[rumbling]

[Wally] This is it!

Immortus is here!

[acolytes singing] Immortus...

Oh!

Look at this.

-Oh. Did we do this? -Uh.

- I think... I think we might. -[chuckling]

-We saved everyone! Yay! -Yay!

Wait, wait, wait, what about the booze?

What about the booze?

[both yelling]

[acolytes singing] Cleanse the souls of the Earth, pretty please

Immortus

Praise to thee

[energy surging]

-[rumbling] -Immortus is here!

Hey, you guys.

Isabel fucking Feathers?

What the fuck?

[shrieking demonically]