All language subtitles for Doom.Patrol.S04E01.Doom.Patrol.1080p.10bit.BluRay.AAC5.1.HEVC-Vyndros

[Laura] Previously on Doom Patrol...

[Mama Pentecost] Keeg,
he needs to merge with you.

[Larry] That's not going to happen.

[Mama Pentecost] Then he will die.

Procedure was painless.

Underneath, I'm still mechanical.

The changes are only skin-deep.

Only cost you your powers.

Where's Kay? Is she all right?

[Dr. Harrison]
We'll get to that soon enough.

But first, we had a deal, Jane,

and it's time for you to make good.

We're about to exact revenge
on the little shit

that stole your body
and tried to kill us.

[Rita] Cliff.

What did they do to you?

[Rita] Evil is the scourge
that calls herself Madame Rouge.

Go ahead. Kill me again.

Evil is what we're gonna to her
fishy little face when we find her ass.

[Madame Rouge] You must be Rita.

[Rita] You don't remember me, do you?

Don't look at your notes!

Look at my face.

I want you to remember.

You are lucky to be here.

You have yet to earn the trust it takes
to steer us through space and time.

Now, then, shall we?

[Cliff] Doom Force!

[all] No!

[rumbling]

[theme music playing]

[wind howling]

[mysterious music playing]

[metal detector pulsing]

[beeping]

[rustling]

-[breathing heavily]
-[music increases in tempo]

[metal detector beeping]

[rumbling]

[grunts]

[suspenseful music playing]

[Dr. Harrison] This is recording 297.

Observations of the Doom Patrol
by Dr. Harrison, day 93.

The Codpiece mission.

I continue to be astounded
by the garden of psychological plights

presented by this group.

It's been three months

and my decision to stay
continues to pay dividends.

This bargain basement sideshow
has been working as a superhero team,

aptly named the Doom Patrol.

[rock music playing]

I got pictures of naked ladies

Lying on their beds

[Dr. Harrison] Rita has carved out
a starring role

for herself as team leader,

because no one wanted the job.

Ready? Positions.

And action!

I start to how! I'm in heat

I moan and growl
And the hunt drives me crazy

I fuck like a beast

[explosion]

I come round,
round I come feel your love

[Dr. Harrison] But this failed starlet,
failed high school drama teacher

and failed community theater extra
seems to have found her niche.

By default.

Believe it or not,
she's led this busted Justice League

lo seven successful missions.

Dear Rita tackles the job
with endless enthusiasm

despite the lack of cooperation

-or respect of her teammates.
-[Larry yawns]

[sighs]

Any questions?

[Cliff] Yeah, not going after Codpiece,

and not doing codenames.

A question begins with who, what,
where, when, or why, Clifford.

Why do you get to pick the codenames?

Because they suck.

When you spend days
researching and plotting missions

while getting paper cuts
and inky fingers,

you can choose the codenames, okay?

Until then, you're Robotman.

Dr. Harrison is Crazy Jane.

Larry is Negative Man.

Vic is Cyborg and, Rouge.

You're Dogshit McGivens.

[Dr. Harrison]
Rita's ire for Madam Rouge

is as hot and fiery as ever.

And Rouge eats healthy doses of her shit

because she desperately wants
to make amends

for Malcolm and the Sisterhood.

Even though it runs counter
to her true nature.

Yeah. Good choice. Mm-hmm, Elasti-Woman.

Thank you.

[Dr. Harrison] In between
hating Rouge and being disrespected,

Rita had the good idea

lo attach The Brain's robot head
lo the time machine.

Now, we no longer have to hurtle through
space-time duct taped to Shipley.

She also solved
the time travel memory loss problem.

[winces]

[Dr. Harrison]
Strangely enough, with jellyfish.

[Rita sighs]

[Dr. Harrison]
I couldn't tell you why it works.

But it does.

Oh, no, thanks.

[Vic] Codpiece just robbed the bank.

Can we speed this up, please?

-[rock music playing]
-[all grunting]

[Codpiece laughs smugly]

Not everyone can handle
a full-load from this big gun.

-[Rita] So juvenile.
-[Dr. Harrison] Overcompensating much?

-[Cliff] Gross.
-Everyone, back to one.

-[Madame Rouge] I've seen bigger.
-[Larry] That's disgusting.

[grunts] Robotman,
flank him on the left.

I got pictures of Naked ladies
lying on their beds

Robotman.

Robotman!

I whiff that smell
And sweet convulsion

Clifasaurous.

[Cliff] Left flank. Got it.

[yelling]

-[shots firing]
-[Larry grunts] Whoa!

I moan and growl
And the hunt drives me crazy

I fuck like a beast

[Cliff] Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

[grunting]

I come to steal your love

Dogshit McGivens, draw his fire
while the others get to safety.

Draw his fire? Seriously?

Just do it!

Fuckin' hell.

[screaming]

[shots firing]

[Rita] Not behind the bush.

His ammo will cut right through.

Just like my molten-man batter.

[sighs]

Could you try not to be
disgusting for two seconds?

A pelvic thrust and the sweat
Starts to sting ya

I fuck like a beast

[Dr. Harrison] Rita tries to control
the team's every move

because she can't bear
lo lose another loved one.

Diagnosis?

A textbook perfectionist/narcissist
with survivor's guilt and PTSD.

Vic and his father repaired
most of the Robotman's smooshed body.

However, the testicle creature
incident led to global shipping delays

and they're still waiting
on parts for his other arm.

[Cliff] Okay.
I'm gonna go rip his dick off.

God damn, son of a...

No. No! No. Still grateful
for my crappy petite body.

Everyday outside that giant robot
is a blessing.

[Dr. Harrison]
I suspect Cliff has a low IQ

due to poor breeding,
a Florida public school education,

and race car fumes.

Diagnosis,

a grade A simpleton.

[shots firing]

[Dr. Harrison]
The hero formally known as Useful

has settled into place
as the team's one man IT squad.

Without his tech,
Rita prefers he stay out of harm's way.

[stealthy music playing]

[Dr. Harrison] But Vic is unsatisfied
by his new role and yearns to do more.

[door opens]

[whispers] Elasti-Woman,
you got a bogey fl yin' in.

Elasti-Woman.

Hey! Yo, that's far enough.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no.
Don't do anything.

I'm not really part of Codpiece's crew.

I'm... I'm just the IT guy.

What do you mean, "Just the IT guy"?

You're an integral part of his villainy.

You're the foundation
he builds his nefarious successes on.

Oh.

Yeah. Yeah, I am vital.

I guess I am important, huh? [chuckles]

-[grunting]
-Are you good?

[shushes]

Yeah. Yeah, just, just hang on.

I can't do it if people are talking.

Shit.

[man grunts] Oh!

Shit. [winces]

[Rita] What was your part of the plan?

Was it to engage
with an ass-bazooka wielding twit?

-But he was literal--
-[Rita] I don't want to hear it.

You stick to the plan or you stay home.

[Dr. Harrison] Plain old Vic takes
the red-headed miss' admonishments

as a lack of faith in his abilities.

He doesn't realize she too
was working through her own issues.

Together they form the perfect storm
of psychological inadequacies.

Though Vic fearlessly
jumped into the fray

against a nimrod with a rump cannon,

he's far less courageous
when it comes to following through

on the promise he made himself
to find his happiness.

[Dr. Harrison] Diagnosis,

personality dysmorphia
and social cowardice.

Larry and Keeg have been
getting on like a house on fire.

It may be the first reported case

of a host developing
Stockholm syndrome towards its parasite.

[whooshes]

[Codpiece grunts]

[Larry] Oh, God.

[Dr. Harrison] Larry's managed
to let go of himself enough

to share his life and body with Keeg

in a way he never could

with the Negative Spirit
or his human family.

And though Larry tells himself

the new life he's forged with
the neon leech is fulfilling enough,

the truth is, he yearns for more.

[Larry] I'm fine, buddy.
Just you and me.

[Dr. Harrison] Diagnosis,

good old-fashioned self-loathing
with a healthy dash of co-dependency.

Madame Rouge refuses the jellyfish
on every mission.

Because it gives
her the briefest respite

from remembering her betrayal
of Malcolm and the Sisterhood.

Oh. Excuse me!

What am I meant to be doing again?

What? You don't remember?

Transform into something
to psych him out.

Right.

[exhales sharply]

[Cliff] Holy shit! Nice one, Rouge.

[grunting]

Are you body shaming me?

That's some next level evil.

I won't even go there.

I'll kill your face! So hard!

[Dr. Harrison] But Rouge's memories
always return with a vengeance.

[exhales]

And she's created a nasty ritual that's
a form of psychological self-harm.

[Dr. Harrison]
The results are always the same

and she's forced to face
the fact that she's relegated

hundreds of people to obsolescence.

Though all-encompassing,
her pain is a quiet one.

The kind that's always there,

just under the surface, smoldering,

looking for something to catch,
but never finding anything.

Diagnosis,

self-loathing doormat
with sociopathic tendencies.

As for me,
I've managed to find my own place

amongst this bunch of walking tragedies.

One that makes use of
my specific talents.

Come now, Mr. Codpiece,

who are you really mad at?

-Because it can't possibly be me.
-[sirens wattling]

You don't even know me.

[dramatic music playing]

I know I only get one phone call, Dr. H,

but I think you're right.

It should be to my mom.

[Dr. Harrison] This doomed patrol

is the El Dorado
of psychological dysfunctions.

I could publish volumes
based on my observations.

-[thuds]
-[Cliff grunts]

Thank you.

[Dr. Harrison] Unfortunately,
my attention has been divided.

Between my work and my obligations.

-That's too much.
-[gasps]

Abuelita only uses two shakes.

Really?

Why are you here, H?

To ask you the same question.

The others are all searching for Kay.

Why aren't you?

Because I can think of better ways
of wasting my time,

like trying to eat my own face.

So you're not concerned about the girl?

Of course I'm fucking concerned.

But Kay constructed this place.

And if she doesn't want to be found,
we're not going to find her.

So you're here in her memories,
enjoying warm beverages?

I'm doing something actually useful.

I'm trying to figure out
what the girl needs.

-Wanna know what I think?
-Mm!

Yeah, more than anything I've ever
wanted in my entire miserable life.

I think you're on vacation here.

Hiding in the girl's memories
to avoid your responsibilities.

How relieved you must feel of not having
the weight of it all on your shoulders.

Or maybe this is just sour grapes.

After all, the girl did disappear,

-under your watch.
-Mm.

Remind me where you went
to medical school again?

Was it the University of I-Watched-
A-Shit-Ton-Of-Sally-Jesse-Raphael?

Enjoy your stay, Jane.

[door closes]

[machine whirring]

-Looks good.
-Yep.

So then, boom!

With the press of a cell phone button,

she teleported the entire bus
of Edgelords into the Phantom Zone,

which they didn't seem to hate.

But we, uh, we busted them out anyway.

[laughs] Cell Phone Silvia, huh?

-Yup!
-And what was your part in this caper?

Me? Uh, yeah, I, um...

I downloaded her phone's
user menu from the Internet.

That thing is over ten years old.

Man! That was hard to find.

Sounds like you're keeping busy.

Yeah.

But, um...

Are you leaving any time
to find your bliss?

[melancholy music playing]

I didn't ditch my tech to spite you.

When are you gonna understand
that this choice was about me?

It wasn't an accusation, Son.

I'm sorry.

The truth is,

this isn't as easy
as I thought it would be.

Scary tr yin' to find yourself, isn't it?

I think I'd rather
take on the Edgelords.

[laughs]

Now, just give yourself time.

You'll get there.

Looks like we're done here.

Thanks for your help on this, Dad.

He's gonna be psyched.

Of course.

It was fun.

Yeah, it was.

Let's gather the troops.

[alarm blaring]

[Cliff] All right, all right, all right.

Whose face are we stomping
justice into today?

Is that my fucking arm?

As a matter of fact, it is.

[Cliff] Fuck. Fucking sweetness!

Why is everyone else here?

Well, we couldn't make
your arm exactly like it was so, um...

We decided to make it better.

[Cliff] Looks like
the same old shitty robot arm

with the same old shitty robot fingers
that I can't type for shit with,

or write, or bowl.

We...

We gave you the sense of touch...

in one finger.

But over time,

if things work
the way they're supposed to,

the nanites will spread
to your other fingers.

[Cliff chuckles]

I'll be able to feel with my whole hand?

That's the plan, Robotman.

[chuckling] Oh, wow!

I don't know what to say.

[chuckles] Thank you!

Uh, from the bottom
of my non-existent heart.

[Vic] All right.

-[Silas] Okay.
-[Vic] All right.

-No problem, brother.
-[Silas] Okay, brother.

-[Vic] Yeah. Okay...
-[chuckles]

[Silas clears throat]

[Cliff laughs]

And this how you say
“fuck you" in England.

Now we can calibrate
your sense of touch.

Let's start with the cotton.

[curt] Would it be okay if | didn't?

It would be better if you did.

You, you mind telling us
why you don't want to?

[Cliff groans]

I haven't felt anything for 40 years.

I think the first thing
I'd like to touch is my grandson.

Cliff,

not to be a spoilsport, but technically,

you are touching that oven mitt.

[Cliff] Doesn't count. Doesn't count.

But, goddamn, it's soft.

Come on, fuck nuts!

To the time machine!

We're going to fucking Florida!

Um, Clifford,
I know that you are excited,

but the time machine is not an Uber.

It is a crime-fighting apparatus.

[Madame Rouge] Oh, come on, Rita.

What is the harm in a wee jaunt
to America's sweaty armpit?

This is a joyous occasion.

Why don't you make a little exception?

-[Larry] Aw, what, what's the harm?
-Yeah, come on, Rita.

-Don't be so controlling.
-[Cliff] Be cool for once.

All right, all right, all right.
[clicks tongue]

Just this once.

[Cliff] Fuck yeah, let's roll!

I think I'll sit this one out.

I am allergic to jellyfish
and experimental fringe science.

-Take care, Son.
-All right, Dad. I'll talk to you.

Um, Rita, a, a private word?

What is it?

Well, I, um, thought over time
if I consumed enough of your shit,

I'd earn your forgiveness,
but I'm realizing that's

probably never gonna happen.
And since my presence here,

is a constant trigger for you,
I was thinking, perhaps maybe, once I...

Well, perhaps maybe,
once we all return from Florida,

it might be best
that I find somewhere else to live.

Unless of course,
you can find it in your heart to...

[sighs]

...forgive me.

[clicks tongue] I hear there are
a lot of nice efficiencies in Cloverton,

if you don't mind getting scabies.

I don't, actually.

And perhaps maybe you could give me--

Give me the address.

[Cliff] This is the best day
of my entire freaking life!

Can we leave already?

Why have we not left yet?

No, thank you.

No, you listen here, Madame Rouge.

You will put this jellyfish
on top of your peanut head

because I want you to remember
every word of your promise

to leave my home.

-[sizzles]
-Oh, fucking--

Okay, Florida five minutes from now.
Everybody ready?

[machine whirring]

[rumbling]

[hisses]

[Cliff] Shipley, play some travel tunes.

[singing] Hands

Touching hands

Reaching out

Touching me

Touching you

Sweet Caroline

Pa, pa, pa

Good times never seemed so good

So good, so good, so good

Are you an animal,
vegetable, or mineral?

[Cliff] Yes.

[Larry] Are you
Animal Vegetable Mineral Man?

[Cliff] Damn it!
I thought that'd be harder.

[Larry] What else could possibly
fit that description?

[engine whirring]

[faint screaming]

You guys seein' this?

[screaming continues]

[Dr. Harrison] Oh,
it's probably another time goat.

Let's not get paranoid.

It's a woman.

-[screaming]
-[thuds]

[alarm buzzing]

-[Cliff] Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
-Help me. Help me please.

[Cliff] Is this bad?
'Cause this feels pretty fucking bad.

- I don't think it's good.
- I know her.

She likes to watch people pee.
No judgement.

That's Isabel Feathers.

[Cliff] Who?

The talentless wannabe who portrayed me

in the Cloverton Theatre's Our Town.

[whispers] Fucking hell.

-[Vic] Should we let her in?
-No.

Let me in. Let me in. [screams]

[Larry] What's she doing
in the time stream?

Ah, that might be my bad.

When I arrived in Cloverton,

she watched me taking a massive wazz,
then fell right into my time hole.

I didn't think it was worth mentioning.

[Cliff] Please! Angry Jesus!

Don't let me die
before I touch my grandbaby!

[automated voice]
Arrival imminent. Arrival imminent.

When are we headed, Victor? What year?

No idea.

Everybody brace for impact.

This is gonna be a rough landing.

[rumbling]

[Cliff screaming]

[rumbling]

[machine powers down]

[mysterious music playing]

[Rita] Is everyone okay?

[Cliff] I think so.

Where on Earth are we?

When are we?

[Cliff] Doesn't matter and don't care.

Let's just hop back into Shipley

and get back on track to the FLA.

Shipley's overheated.

It's gonna be a while
before we can shove off again.

I think I know where we are.

Um, I think we went a little further
than five minutes into the future.

[dramatic music playing]

[Larry] Huh, what do you suppose
the shotgun is for?

[growling]

For whatever the fuck that is.

-Executive decision.
-[Cliff] Yep.

And go where exactly?

[Larry sighs]
There's no place like home.

[suspenseful music playing]

Wow.

This reminds me of my mother's house.

She was a hoarder,

and a war profiteer.

The air's really stale.

Maybe no one's living here anymore.

Well, we'd better
have a look through just in case.

Everyone, I have found something.

What is it?

-[Rita] Hmm...
-[Larry] Vienna sausages in Skittles.

Ew! On both fronts.

[Cliff] I haven't seen shit like this
since the '70s.

And we were all high as fuck back then.

No, wait.

[Madame Rouge] Cliff,

-you fucking asshole!
-[Cliff] Jesus Christ.

[Dr. Harrison] The fuck?

-[Vic] Why did you do that?
-[Larry] God.

-Oops.
-[Rita] Idiot!

[Larry] You had to touch the weiner?

Quiet. We're not alone.

[suspenseful music playing]

Welcome to 2042.

[Cliff] Holy shit bears!

Who is it?

[Cliff] It's you.

A rusty, busted version of you.

The hell? Yo, let me through.
Yo, let me through.

[Cliff] If this mitt falls off
and I touch...

Someone is kicking me. Stop kicking me.

[Cliff] That isn't
my grandson's perfect skin.

I will murder every single one of you.

-[whispers] This is weird.
-[Rita shushes]

What's that on your face?

Is that tech?

Who wants tea?

It all started about 20 years ago,

Cloverton was the epicenter.

Spread slow at first

and after a few weeks,
it was everywhere.

[Cliff] Hey, Omega man,
you wanna skip the dramatics

and just tell us what the lemon drizzled
fuck happened?

Papers called it The Buttpocalypse.

[both snicker]

I think he's serious.

No, that's impossible.

We killed those assholes.

Apparently, we missed one.

And infected it with zombiism.

You mean to tell us
the world has been overtaken

by Zombie Butts?

[Larry] That we created?

I mean, the zombie part anyway.

It's about the size of it, yeah.

Where are the rest of us?

You tend to stick to your rooms
for the most part.

Go say hi if you want.

Rouge.

You won't find anyone in your room.

Oh.

Did I change rooms?

Did I just pop out for my laundry?

Well, that can only mean one thing.
I am at a LARPing retreat.

I am dead then, aren't I?

Actually, I don't know
what happened to you.

You moved out
right before shit kicked off.

We lost track of you soon after.

Well, then I could still be out there,

thriving under the new world order. I...

Look, I go into
Cloverton nearly every day

and I'm yet to see another survivor.

I'm sorry.

Vic, take a walk with me.

Something I gotta show you.

[dramatic music playing]

[all] What the fuck?

[Larry] Larry? Keeg?

What the hell is goin' on here?

Hello!

Rita?

I know what this is. It's a death loop.

Rita Vivian Farr,

I know what you're doing,
and I want you to stop this instant.

You're not fooling anyone, you know.

This is the exact same
blocking we did in the picture.

The Return of Ghost Gal,
Ghost Gal's Gal Pal.

Pish.

I was hoping you would have forgotten.

Well, what do you want?

-For starters--
-They're dead.

Everyone's dead.

I see.

[inhales] Let me guess.

I had a carefully well laid out plan
and nobody followed it.

Not exactly.

It was Rouge.

Rouge betrayed us
like she did the Sisterhood of Dada.

No.

It turns out we were about as good
at being a team leader

as we were
at being a high school drama teacher.

How can that be?

I... We have an undefeated record.

It's complicated.

[clears throat] There's a lot to unpack.

Tell me everything.

[Dr. Harrison]
Well, are you going to talk

or just continue staring out the window
like a catatonic tuna fish?

Are you really in such denial
that you can't deduce what happened?

[Dr. Harrison]
Perhaps you're too much of a coward

to own up to your actions.

Cut the shit, H.

Your pathological arrogance
got the girl killed.

No. In my time, the girl is still alive.

I haven't done anything yet.

It was you.

Was that a different clan
of cataclysmic misfits

you darkened my doorstep with?

But that's impossible.

-The girl is--
-Your primary concern.

Guess again, sister.

If you were really interested
in protecting her,

you would have taken her
far from this place

and these people right after
you seized control from Jane.

But no, you were more interested

in emotionally dissecting
your little lab rats,

and now Kay is dead.

[ominous music playing]

[Madame Rouge] Peace...

Continued on A-13.

A-137

[mumbling]

Where is A-13?

What the fuck?

[Cliff] So, you can't
fuck with the sex ghosts at all?

[Future Cliff] Sure. Sure.

I mean, not literally.

I mostly do a lot of watching
and commenting.

But that's not really
what you wanna ask me about, is it?

[Cliff] No.

-Are they--
-[Future Cliff] Clara and Rory are fine.

They took Mille's dad's boat out
on the Atlantic and are safe and sound.

[Cliff] Really?

[Future Cliff] No.

[Cliff] Tell me.

[Future Cliff] Bro,
you don't want to know.

[Cliff] Can you at least tell me
what happened to me?

[Future Cliff] Parkinson's got us.

[Cliff] Really?

[Future Cliff] Bro,
you do not wanna know.

[Cliff] Listen, bro!

Either you start talking
or I'll make it my life's mission

to figure out
how to rip off your ghost head

and shit down your ghost neck.

Which would entail a side mission
of figuring out how to take a shit,

but so help me, I will fucking do it!

[Future Cliff chuckling] Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay! Jesus.

You want the truth? Here it is.

Your perfect grandson, Rory...

You never get to touch him.

[Cliff] Because I died
before I could get to Florida?

[Future Cliff] Bro,
you do not want to know.

[Larry] Oh, there you are.

My God, we're dead.

Hey!

Hello?

Yeah, that tracks.

Future Keeg.

Future Keeg, release.

Hey, where's Keeg, Larry?

Larry, please.

Where is he?

[Future Larry]
Keeg doesn't live here anymore.

[Larry] What happened to him?

What the hell did you do?

Hey! I'm talking to you.

Larry, I'm talking to you!

[electricity crackling]

[warbling]

[Larry] Oh, thank God.

[chuckles softly] Look at you!

You're all grown up.

How you doing, buddy?

[electricity buzzing]

And what does he mean
you don't live here anymore?

[warbling]

Huh? You look... You can talk to me.

[electricity crackling]

What is going on here?

-[warbling]
-[Larry gasps and grunts]

[electricity buzzing]

Hey, what's happening?

What are you doing to him?

[electricity crackling]

[Larry gasps]

Whoa!

[sighs]

What the hell did he say to you?

[panting]

[sighs wearily]

Oh, my fuck sticks.

[Vic grunts]

[grunting]

Shitting hell!

[panting]

He's gonna steal the time machine.

Sooner or later,
if they don't get eaten,

they're gonna make their way here.

If you all keep them occupied,
I'll double back and take Shipley.

I may be in the minority,

but perhaps we should give
our past selves a chance.

Maybe with our guidance,
they can avert this terrible future.

[all laughing]

[Cliff] I can't believe you got through
that with a straight face!

You're trusting those morons
to right the future. Could you imagine?

[wind howling]

[footsteps approaching]

[Vic] Going somewhere?

[Future Vic sighs]

I don't want to fight you.

I bet you don't, old man.

Or talking is also good.

-This is for the best. For all of us.
-How is stealing the time machine

instead of telling us
how to stop this better?

Look, you're just gonna fuck it up.

The way I see it,
we haven't fucked up anything yet.

It was you all who caused
this future, not us.

If you know how to avoid this,
then you need to tell me.

There's no point.

Where you're at right now,
you're not gonna hear me.

Where am I at?

You still think you're on-plan?

-You just don't get it.
-Don't get what?

[Rita] What about us?

Are we in a clear headspace?

[growling]

You better be. They're here.

[Zombie Butts growling]

[Cliff] Fuck these fucking Butts.

We kicked their asses once,
we can do it again!

[Future Vic] That's exactly
what you said 20 years ago

when a Butt cracked your head
like an egg and ate you.

[Cliff] Thank you.
Finally, someone tells me how I die.

[Zombie Butts growling]

Careful. Don't let them bite you.

We can't win this. We have to go.

No! Not until he talks.

[Cliff] I love a fight
as much as the next robot...

But this is nuts.

[Rita] Dr. H is right.
Let's get out of here.

[Vic] We're bugging out.

Come with us.

Help us fight the future.

Hell, no.
I'd rather be ravaged by Zombie Butts

than revisit that point of my life.

Then I'm not going, either.

Absolutely not, Victor. It's suicide.

[Cliff] Maybe your jellyfish
wasn't on tight enough,

but you can't do shit, remember?

You don't have shit to fight with.

Here!

Booyah!

[Silas] Boys!

Stop this nonsense! Immediately!

-Dad?
-Dad?

Call me Pop-Pop, please.

Wait. [grunts]

No!

[squawks]

[Vic grunting]

Why did you do that?

Okay, we're going, everybody.

[engine whirring]

[hisses]

The launch sequence
has already been initiated.

-[Vic grunting]
-It won't open.

[Larry] You can't save him, Vic.

-[Future Vic screaming]
-[Zombie Butts growling]

[sinister music playing]

[hissing]

[engine chugging]

[engine powers down]

[birds chirping]

[Vic reading] "You can't have it all."

[suspenseful music playing]

[warbling]

[Larry] Easy, buddy. Easy.

Please.

Look.

Your other dad would write me
a note sometimes.

Could you try to do that?

Can you please just tell me

-what future Keeg showed you?
-[banging]

Was it about me?

[sighs]

What did you do
to fuck this one up, Trainor?

Did you see?

Every hairy detail.

I don't know what to say.

Good. Because I do.

You were right.

I was hiding out in Kay's memories

because being Primary is hard
and it's fucking draining.

And I needed a break.

But after what I saw in the future,

I am going back up right now
and so help me,

I will chuck you face-first
into the fucking well if you--

Kay, where have you been?

What happened to Dr. H?

Don't follow me.

Listen to me, please--

[gasps]

[panting]

[mysterious music playing]

What the fuck?

[knock at door]

[sighs]

Oh. [chuckles] That's unusual.

'Kay.

Uh, do you think it was random seeing
Isabel Feathers in the time stream?

[clicks tongue] I'm not sure. Do you?

I'm not sure either.

Might be worth finding out.

You're not leaving anymore, are you?

Given what we've seen in the future,

it's... probably for the best?

[squelching]

Well, isn't this just the shitty cherry
on top of a shitty sundae made of shit?

Okay.

Think that went well.

[Vic] You can't have it all.

Fuck that.

[exhales]

[exhales]

[Cliff] Rory, I am gonna come
touch your perfect, squishy tush.

But first I gotta stop
the Buttpocalypse.

But I promise you.

I will not touch a single thing
with my new hand before I get to you.

Until then, fuck you, the future.

[ominous music playing]

[sword clanking]

This better be good, Bunbury.

I was in the middle of Graham Norton.

[Bunbury squeaking]

[sighs]

Can't be serious with this shit.

I mean, it's a stupid hoax,
he's not real.

[Bunbury squeaking]

I bought you the wrong bedding one time.

When you gonna get over it?

Can we maybe just get back to the photo?

A thousand apologies, Bunbury.

The prophecy only mentioned the Butts.

Now, if this is real, really, real,

it can mean only one thing.

We're well and truly fucked.

[theme music playing]