All language subtitles for Euphoria.S02E08.All.My.Life.My.Heart.Has.Yearned.for.a.Thing.I.Cannot.Name.2160p.MAX.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.Atmos.DV.HDR10.H.265-WDYM
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1
00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:27,462
All right, y'all,
I'm finna head out.
2
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,499
Wait, you're, uh,
you're leavin'?
3
00:00:30,999 --> 00:00:33,172
Yeah, I'm about
to leave right now.
4
00:00:42,711 --> 00:00:46,615
Is-is everything good?
5
00:00:46,615 --> 00:00:50,155
Yeah, before you go, bro,
I, I really gotta talk
to you about somethin'.
6
00:00:53,658 --> 00:00:55,660
Like what, man?
7
00:00:56,861 --> 00:00:59,061
Everything.
8
00:00:59,061 --> 00:01:02,062
The fuck is you
talkin' 'bout, bruh?
9
00:01:04,902 --> 00:01:06,305
Bro...
10
00:01:09,673 --> 00:01:12,411
The fuckin' cops
found Mouse's body.
11
00:01:16,146 --> 00:01:17,482
Sorry.
12
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:44,706
Did you hear what I said?
13
00:01:44,706 --> 00:01:46,208
Ch-ch-ch...
14
00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:51,813
I thought you
told me that Laurie
killed Mouse, right?
15
00:01:51,813 --> 00:01:53,352
Laurie?
- Wha--
16
00:01:54,819 --> 00:01:56,185
I never said that.
17
00:01:56,185 --> 00:01:58,086
What are you
talkin' about?
18
00:01:58,086 --> 00:01:59,887
Yeah, you know, Laurie,
19
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:04,292
the drug dealer that
lives in the apartment
complex off Kemper.
20
00:02:04,292 --> 00:02:08,163
Yeah, you were
the one that told me
she killed Mouse.
21
00:02:08,163 --> 00:02:10,169
I never said that.
22
00:02:12,402 --> 00:02:15,637
- Yes, you did.
What are
you talking about?
23
00:02:15,637 --> 00:02:17,873
- Are you high?
You know that
Laurie and those
24
00:02:17,873 --> 00:02:19,208
fucking people,
they scare me.
25
00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:21,010
Why are you trying
to protect them?
26
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:23,011
I'm not fuckin'
protecting anyone.
27
00:02:23,011 --> 00:02:24,479
What the fuck is this?
28
00:02:24,479 --> 00:02:27,082
- So, you're working for Laurie?
Hey, no!
29
00:02:27,082 --> 00:02:29,083
So how about you
just shut the fuck up!
30
00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:34,223
Okay, then why are you
trying to cover up a murder
that she committed?
31
00:02:34,223 --> 00:02:36,791
All right, now.
32
00:02:36,791 --> 00:02:39,394
Think it's time
for you to get outta
here, big fella.
33
00:02:39,394 --> 00:02:42,997
Bro... we gotta figure out
what the fuck we're gonna say.
34
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:45,868
- Okay, this is becoming
a fucking issue.
- Wait, Ash. Ash, Ash!
35
00:02:45,868 --> 00:02:47,002
No!
36
00:03:54,238 --> 00:03:56,371
Do you ever think
about the future?
37
00:03:56,371 --> 00:03:58,974
Yeah, all the time.
- Really?
38
00:03:58,974 --> 00:04:00,776
Yeah.
39
00:04:00,776 --> 00:04:02,377
Like you have a plan?
40
00:04:02,377 --> 00:04:05,848
I mean, I don’t, I don’t got,
like, a plan-plan,
41
00:04:05,848 --> 00:04:08,116
but I be thinking about
42
00:04:08,116 --> 00:04:11,252
living on a farm, you know?
43
00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:12,955
I don’t really
see you as a farmer.
44
00:04:12,955 --> 00:04:14,389
Yeah, fuck it.
45
00:04:14,389 --> 00:04:18,427
Get some horses, cows,
pigs, chickens, goats.
46
00:04:18,427 --> 00:04:20,365
Have a little family.
47
00:04:22,132 --> 00:04:25,267
Like some "Little House
on the Prairie"-type shit.
You know?
48
00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:26,934
I don’t know
if I know that show.
49
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,905
You never heard of "Little
House on the Prairie"?
50
00:04:29,905 --> 00:04:31,841
Okay, this might
sound kind of crazy but,
51
00:04:31,841 --> 00:04:34,509
my plan is to have,
like, three kids at 30.
52
00:04:34,509 --> 00:04:37,079
Like, each one
a year and a half apart.
53
00:04:37,079 --> 00:04:39,747
So from 30 to 58,
I can focus on,
54
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,817
you know, being a good mom
and raising my kids,
et cetera, et cetera.
55
00:04:42,817 --> 00:04:46,388
And then, drop the last one
off at college at 58.
56
00:04:46,388 --> 00:04:48,523
Which will give me,
like, 32 years
57
00:04:48,523 --> 00:04:51,159
to focus on me
and live my life
58
00:04:51,159 --> 00:04:53,361
and take my time
with writing.
59
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:56,359
I mean, you really got
this shit all figured out, huh?
60
00:04:56,359 --> 00:04:59,067
Yeah.
It's kind of crazy, right?
61
00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:01,402
I mean...
62
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:04,343
they got, they got
three kids in that show.
63
00:05:05,809 --> 00:05:08,877
There’s no need
to forget your manners.
64
00:05:08,877 --> 00:05:11,111
Just because we’re
hundreds of miles
from civilized folk.
65
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,648
If you lived in a place
like this, do you think
you’d have a gun?
66
00:05:13,648 --> 00:05:16,088
Hell yeah, I’d own a gun.
67
00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:19,454
I hate guns.
68
00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:22,524
Nobody’s ever got shot at
and thought to they-self,
69
00:05:22,524 --> 00:05:28,030
"Whoa! Thank goodness
we didn’t have a gun
to shoot back." You know?
70
00:05:28,030 --> 00:05:31,099
Yeah, but then what
are the police for?
71
00:05:31,099 --> 00:05:33,502
Fucked if I know. Shit.
72
00:05:33,502 --> 00:05:35,871
Wait, are you
on Instagram or Twitter?
73
00:05:35,871 --> 00:05:37,305
Hell no.
74
00:05:37,305 --> 00:05:40,475
- Really? Why?
- Oh yeah.
75
00:05:40,475 --> 00:05:42,244
Well, why would
I want anybody
76
00:05:42,244 --> 00:05:44,279
knowin' what I'm
thinkin' or feelin'?
77
00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:45,781
I don't know.
You can connect
78
00:05:45,781 --> 00:05:47,482
with people who have
similar interests.
79
00:05:47,482 --> 00:05:49,351
Mmm.
I just feel like people
80
00:05:49,351 --> 00:05:51,420
be sharin' way
too much on there.
81
00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:53,288
- Online?
- Yeah.
82
00:05:53,288 --> 00:05:56,024
They be ruinin'
the mystery, you know?
83
00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:58,193
Like, say if I like a girl,
84
00:05:58,193 --> 00:06:01,697
I wanna find out what she's
about on my own, you know?
85
00:06:01,697 --> 00:06:04,499
I don't wanna google the scraps.
86
00:06:04,499 --> 00:06:07,269
I wanna, I wanna
peel back the layers.
87
00:06:07,269 --> 00:06:10,806
Yeah, but, like, why
would you wanna waste time
getting to know someone...
88
00:06:10,806 --> 00:06:13,208
if you don't have anything
in common with them?
89
00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:15,377
I don't know.
That's what I like
90
00:06:15,377 --> 00:06:17,780
about you the most,
though, like...
91
00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:19,682
we don't really
have nothin' in common.
92
00:06:19,682 --> 00:06:21,282
That's not true.
We both...
93
00:06:21,282 --> 00:06:23,184
have the same sense of humor,
94
00:06:23,184 --> 00:06:27,459
and... are empathic and curious.
95
00:06:29,126 --> 00:06:30,925
And wanna have, like, kids.
96
00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:33,962
Those aren't interests,
you know, those are
97
00:06:33,962 --> 00:06:35,831
real character traits.
98
00:06:35,831 --> 00:06:38,333
It's--
That's the important
shit that, that
99
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:40,502
people don't post online.
100
00:06:40,502 --> 00:06:43,638
Yeah, I never thought
about it that way.
101
00:06:43,638 --> 00:06:47,510
Well, aren't you glad
that we became friends?
102
00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:50,882
Yeah... very much so.
103
00:06:52,049 --> 00:06:54,884
Yeah, me too.
104
00:07:08,196 --> 00:07:09,865
Hey, Lexi!
It's going so well!
105
00:07:09,865 --> 00:07:11,166
We're gettin' a lot
of really good laughs.
106
00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:12,972
Yeah, let's not
get cocky, okay?
107
00:08:17,936 --> 00:08:19,835
Oh god.
108
00:09:00,611 --> 00:09:03,645
- ...thousand versions of myself.
109
00:09:03,645 --> 00:09:06,681
Only do I look good,
but I fucking feel good--
110
00:09:11,588 --> 00:09:14,222
Lexi, you really
outdid yourself.
111
00:09:14,222 --> 00:09:16,658
I mean...
112
00:09:16,658 --> 00:09:19,394
where did she find
these knock-offs.
113
00:09:19,394 --> 00:09:20,596
- Oh shit.
114
00:09:20,596 --> 00:09:22,330
I had no idea
115
00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:24,467
that my sister
had this in her.
116
00:09:24,467 --> 00:09:26,669
Good job, right?
117
00:09:26,669 --> 00:09:28,770
Isn't she brave?
118
00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:32,540
She’s up here,
unpacking all of her trauma.
119
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:35,643
I had no idea how hard
your life was, Lexi.
120
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,846
- Shush!
- Can we give
a round of applause
121
00:09:37,846 --> 00:09:40,115
for how hard Lexi's life is?
122
00:09:42,217 --> 00:09:44,353
Come on, guys.
123
00:09:44,353 --> 00:09:48,057
I know they hack
the heads off of women
in Afghanistan or wherever.
124
00:09:48,057 --> 00:09:49,859
That's racist!
God.
125
00:09:49,859 --> 00:09:53,065
It is nothing compared
to living in my shadow.
126
00:09:54,564 --> 00:09:56,999
Yo, is this like
a part of the play?
127
00:09:56,999 --> 00:09:59,338
- Is this part
of the play?
128
00:10:00,104 --> 00:10:01,970
I don't know.
129
00:10:01,970 --> 00:10:04,367
- Lexi.
Her name's Luna!
130
00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:05,907
Is this part
of the play?
131
00:10:05,907 --> 00:10:08,376
- Lexi?
Stop, please stop.
132
00:10:08,376 --> 00:10:10,713
This is your show.
Come out!
133
00:10:10,713 --> 00:10:13,515
You're the big star
of the day!
134
00:10:13,515 --> 00:10:15,383
- Oh shit.
- Please, Cassie, stop it.
135
00:10:15,383 --> 00:10:16,652
You're the star
of the night.
136
00:10:16,652 --> 00:10:18,420
She's always wanted
to be the star.
137
00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:20,455
Whoo-hoo! Go, Lexi!
138
00:10:20,455 --> 00:10:23,292
This is your big moment.
Shine!
139
00:10:23,292 --> 00:10:25,994
Please, stop. Please, stop.
Please, stop. Please, stop.
140
00:10:25,994 --> 00:10:28,700
I should stop? Me?
141
00:10:29,767 --> 00:10:31,561
I'm not the one
putting on a play
142
00:10:31,561 --> 00:10:33,969
- to humiliate and embarrass you!
- I didn't do that.
143
00:10:33,969 --> 00:10:35,605
Oh really?!
144
00:10:35,605 --> 00:10:37,206
Then what is this?!
145
00:10:37,206 --> 00:10:40,175
- What act are we in?
- Don't question it.
146
00:10:40,175 --> 00:10:42,845
That's the brilliance
of Lexi Howard.
147
00:10:42,845 --> 00:10:44,179
Hi, everyone.
148
00:10:44,179 --> 00:10:46,849
I'm Suze.
I'm the girls' mom
in real life.
149
00:10:46,849 --> 00:10:48,150
Oh my god.
150
00:10:48,150 --> 00:10:49,752
Um, played by Ethan.
151
00:10:49,752 --> 00:10:52,087
Where is he? Ethan?
152
00:10:52,087 --> 00:10:53,922
- Who by the way--
153
00:10:53,922 --> 00:10:56,757
he-- you have me down to a,
to a, to a science, honey.
154
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:59,695
- Thank you. Thank you, guys.
I appreciate it.
- He's gonna win an award.
155
00:10:59,695 --> 00:11:01,496
Honey, let's go home.
156
00:11:01,496 --> 00:11:04,432
- I deserve this, right?
- Oh my god, please, Mom, Mom.
157
00:11:04,432 --> 00:11:05,801
- I deserve this?
Stop!
158
00:11:05,801 --> 00:11:07,669
Mom, stop!
- Shh, you stop it.
159
00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:10,172
Lexi, I'm going
to fucking kill you.
160
00:11:10,172 --> 00:11:11,639
I deserve this, right?
161
00:11:11,639 --> 00:11:13,913
Because I've actually
lived a life?
162
00:11:14,312 --> 00:11:15,377
Mom?
163
00:11:15,377 --> 00:11:18,308
I'm the one who takes risks.
164
00:11:18,308 --> 00:11:19,548
Show us your boobs!
165
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:22,752
I'm the one who falls in love?
166
00:11:22,752 --> 00:11:26,422
I'm the one who gets hurt,
not you, Lexi!
167
00:11:28,023 --> 00:11:32,293
You never even fucking lived!
168
00:11:32,293 --> 00:11:36,464
That's why you're able
to stand up here
and judge all of us!
169
00:11:36,464 --> 00:11:39,100
You're just a fuckin'
bystander.
170
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:40,936
- Alright, alright--
- Mom, stop!
171
00:11:40,936 --> 00:11:44,243
- Alright!
172
00:11:45,710 --> 00:11:48,176
Oh, okay...
173
00:11:48,176 --> 00:11:51,412
Well if that
makes me a villain,
174
00:11:51,412 --> 00:11:54,753
- Whoo!
- Then so fuckin' be it.
175
00:11:56,017 --> 00:11:57,887
I can play
the fucking villain.
176
00:11:57,887 --> 00:11:59,955
Yeah, do it!
177
00:11:59,955 --> 00:12:02,791
Lexi, is this
the part of the play
178
00:12:02,791 --> 00:12:04,626
where I steal Jake from Marta?
179
00:12:04,626 --> 00:12:06,496
No, Cassie,
that's not in the play.
180
00:12:06,496 --> 00:12:07,663
It is now!
181
00:12:07,663 --> 00:12:09,565
- Who said that?
182
00:12:09,565 --> 00:12:11,333
Look, I wanna say,
I get it.
183
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:12,834
- Oh god...
- I understand what
you're going through.
184
00:12:12,834 --> 00:12:14,069
- I do not want
to hear from you.
- I lived it.
185
00:12:14,069 --> 00:12:16,104
Wait, Hallie steals
Marta's boyfriend?
186
00:12:16,104 --> 00:12:17,773
I don't know how many times
I have to say this.
187
00:12:17,773 --> 00:12:18,874
They were not
fucking together.
188
00:12:18,874 --> 00:12:20,042
Yeah, not only that,
189
00:12:20,042 --> 00:12:21,910
but she was fucking him
the entire time
190
00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:24,713
Marta was talking about
getting back together with him.
191
00:12:24,713 --> 00:12:26,714
No... Why?
192
00:12:26,714 --> 00:12:28,650
Because Hallie
is a two-faced cunt.
193
00:12:28,650 --> 00:12:30,786
- I'm not a cunt!
You're the cunt!
194
00:12:30,786 --> 00:12:32,254
You're the fucking cunt,
bitch!
195
00:12:32,254 --> 00:12:34,223
- I am not a fucking cunt.
196
00:12:34,223 --> 00:12:36,191
Language, missy!
197
00:12:36,191 --> 00:12:38,026
Okay, okay, you know what?
198
00:12:38,026 --> 00:12:39,094
You're just fucking
embarrassing yourself.
199
00:12:39,094 --> 00:12:40,562
- Let's go home.
- I'm not going home.
200
00:12:40,562 --> 00:12:42,498
- The play's not over.
- Oh, my god.
201
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:45,233
I feel like
I'm gonna throw up.
202
00:12:45,233 --> 00:12:47,736
- Mom, this isn't fair!
It's not her fault.
She's a writer.
203
00:12:47,736 --> 00:12:49,539
- She's a writer!
- This isn't fair, Mom!
204
00:12:49,539 --> 00:12:51,406
How can she do this--?
205
00:12:51,406 --> 00:12:54,477
$3.25 for a grapefruit?
What is this, Venezuela?
206
00:12:58,815 --> 00:13:01,983
Lexi, Lexi,
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Okay, enough!
207
00:13:01,983 --> 00:13:04,785
Mom!
- I don't know. I'm panicking.
208
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:07,289
- Go away. Just go away.
209
00:13:07,289 --> 00:13:09,024
Stop. Stop it!
210
00:13:09,024 --> 00:13:12,360
Oh, my god, yes!
Oh, that's it!
211
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,065
Oh, my god, I just
love fucking everything!
212
00:13:16,065 --> 00:13:19,000
No!
I'm going to fucking kill you!
213
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,535
- Get the fuck off of the horse.
- Ow!
214
00:13:20,535 --> 00:13:23,071
- Get off!
215
00:13:23,071 --> 00:13:26,041
Get off!
You fucking bitch!
216
00:13:30,078 --> 00:13:32,114
Oh, this bitch
needs to be put down.
217
00:13:32,114 --> 00:13:34,315
No, no, no.
Maddy! No!
218
00:13:34,315 --> 00:13:36,285
Maddy, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
219
00:13:36,285 --> 00:13:39,755
- No, no, no, Maddy!
No, no, no, no, no!
220
00:13:39,755 --> 00:13:41,923
- Maddy, no!
- Maddy, beat her ass!
221
00:13:41,923 --> 00:13:44,460
- Fucking bitch!
222
00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:45,825
Fuck you!
223
00:13:47,131 --> 00:13:48,864
- Oh fuck.
224
00:13:48,864 --> 00:13:50,866
Ooh!
225
00:14:02,210 --> 00:14:04,880
No, no! Stop! Stop!
Stop this! Stop, stop...
226
00:14:08,283 --> 00:14:11,187
Maddy!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no!
227
00:14:11,187 --> 00:14:12,688
Maddy! No!
228
00:14:15,290 --> 00:14:17,927
Beat her fuckin' ass, Maddy!
She fuckin' deserves that shit!
229
00:14:17,927 --> 00:14:20,361
She fucked your boyfriend!
230
00:14:20,361 --> 00:14:22,964
It's all make-believe.
This is all scripted.
231
00:14:22,964 --> 00:14:25,835
Can you believe this?
My baby's a genius.
232
00:14:25,835 --> 00:14:28,471
- Close the curtain!
233
00:14:28,471 --> 00:14:30,339
Close the fucking curtain!
234
00:14:30,339 --> 00:14:31,707
Now!
235
00:14:47,826 --> 00:14:49,925
A few days earlier,
236
00:14:49,925 --> 00:14:51,663
I stopped by Elliot's.
237
00:14:54,357 --> 00:14:57,266
Yo... Hey.
238
00:14:57,266 --> 00:15:01,670
- What's goin' on?
- Ah, nothin' much.
I was just, uh...
239
00:15:01,670 --> 00:15:03,205
walkin' around
the neighborhood.
240
00:15:03,205 --> 00:15:05,007
Thought I'd stop by
and come tell ya
241
00:15:05,007 --> 00:15:07,943
to go fuck yourself
for bein' a snitch.
242
00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:12,384
Uh...
243
00:15:14,453 --> 00:15:15,554
uh...
244
00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:19,258
I know, but for real,
man, I, um...
245
00:15:22,226 --> 00:15:24,997
I think you might've
accidentally saved my life.
246
00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,971
So, uh, you know,
whatever happened...
247
00:15:33,304 --> 00:15:36,271
however it happened,
you know, however...
248
00:15:36,271 --> 00:15:41,510
it got to be...
whatever it is, uh...
249
00:15:41,510 --> 00:15:43,048
thank God it did.
250
00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:50,347
'Cause I wouldn't be here
to tell you that I forgive you.
251
00:15:50,347 --> 00:15:52,020
And that feels...
252
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:55,056
that feels really,
really nice because, uh,
253
00:15:55,056 --> 00:15:57,729
I have a lot of
"I'm sorry's" to do.
254
00:15:59,997 --> 00:16:02,234
But not a lot
of "I forgive you's."
255
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,503
So...
256
00:16:06,771 --> 00:16:08,273
thank you for that.
257
00:16:12,677 --> 00:16:14,513
So, you're not doin' anything?
258
00:16:17,349 --> 00:16:18,550
Nah, you?
259
00:16:20,485 --> 00:16:21,553
Yeah.
260
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:26,525
- Don't worry.
I'm not gonna tell anyone.
- Thank you. Yeah.
261
00:16:29,894 --> 00:16:31,663
You talk to Jules?
262
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:38,737
- No, you?
- Not really.
263
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:45,477
Yeah, that one's gonna
take me a little bit longer.
264
00:16:46,244 --> 00:16:47,579
I get that.
265
00:16:53,717 --> 00:16:56,655
- Can I play you something?
266
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,559
Uh, yeah, sure.
Go ahead.
267
00:17:08,533 --> 00:17:09,568
Okay.
268
00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:15,037
♪ I've got no place ♪
269
00:17:15,037 --> 00:17:20,345
♪ Buildin' you a rocket
up to outer space ♪
270
00:17:22,212 --> 00:17:25,280
♪ I watch you fade ♪
271
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:30,619
♪ Keepin' the lights on
in this forsaken place ♪
272
00:17:30,619 --> 00:17:33,425
♪ Little star ♪
273
00:17:35,993 --> 00:17:40,830
♪ Feels like you fell
right on my head ♪
274
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:45,934
♪ Gave you away to the wind ♪
275
00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:50,242
♪ I hope it was
worth it in the end ♪
276
00:17:51,075 --> 00:17:56,045
♪ You and my guitar ♪
277
00:17:56,045 --> 00:18:01,182
♪ I think you may be
my only friend ♪
278
00:18:01,182 --> 00:18:06,287
♪ I gave it all
to see you shine again ♪
279
00:18:06,287 --> 00:18:11,596
♪ I hope it was
worth it in the end ♪
280
00:18:13,297 --> 00:18:16,431
♪ Us against the world ♪
281
00:18:16,431 --> 00:18:21,740
♪ Just a couple sinners
makin' fun of hell ♪
282
00:18:23,441 --> 00:18:26,876
♪ If I keep you here ♪
283
00:18:26,876 --> 00:18:31,947
♪ I'll only be doing it
for myself ♪
284
00:18:31,947 --> 00:18:34,753
♪ Little star ♪
285
00:18:36,820 --> 00:18:42,157
♪ Feels like you fell
right on my head ♪
286
00:18:42,157 --> 00:18:47,195
♪ Gave you away to the wind ♪
287
00:18:47,195 --> 00:18:51,470
♪ I hope it was
worth it in the end ♪
288
00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:55,674
♪ Yeah, I hope so ♪
289
00:18:57,408 --> 00:19:02,510
♪ Think you may be
my only friend ♪
290
00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:07,582
♪ I gave it all
to see you shine again ♪
291
00:19:07,582 --> 00:19:13,255
♪ I hope it was
worth it in the end ♪
292
00:19:13,255 --> 00:19:18,160
♪ I know this thing is broken ♪
293
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:23,398
♪ So I leave
my door wide open ♪
294
00:19:23,398 --> 00:19:28,469
♪ Been some time
since we've spoken ♪
295
00:19:28,469 --> 00:19:33,508
♪ One day we'll meet again ♪
296
00:19:33,508 --> 00:19:38,613
♪ Some distance
when you're older ♪
297
00:19:38,613 --> 00:19:43,953
♪ You'll come laying
on my shoulder ♪
298
00:19:43,953 --> 00:19:49,057
♪ Tell me that storm is over ♪
299
00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:53,298
♪ That day we meet again ♪
300
00:19:57,301 --> 00:20:02,371
♪ Feels like you fell
right on my head ♪
301
00:20:02,371 --> 00:20:07,475
♪ Gave you away to the wind ♪
302
00:20:07,475 --> 00:20:12,781
♪ I hope it was
worth it in the end ♪
303
00:20:12,781 --> 00:20:15,887
♪ You and my guitar ♪
304
00:20:17,654 --> 00:20:22,925
♪ I think you may be
my only friend ♪
305
00:20:22,925 --> 00:20:28,063
♪ I gave you away, mm-mm-mm ♪
306
00:20:28,063 --> 00:20:32,768
♪ I hope it was
worth it in the end ♪
307
00:20:32,768 --> 00:20:34,739
I'm still workin' on it.
308
00:20:39,143 --> 00:20:40,379
I like it.
309
00:20:43,547 --> 00:20:47,386
Um... truth or dare?
310
00:20:51,089 --> 00:20:52,591
Truth.
311
00:20:55,693 --> 00:20:57,963
Do you think we can
still be friends?
312
00:21:01,331 --> 00:21:04,469
You know you're the one
who said we weren't
any good for each other.
313
00:21:06,036 --> 00:21:08,268
I still think that.
314
00:21:43,307 --> 00:21:46,578
Yeah...
I, I found her.
315
00:21:50,081 --> 00:21:54,019
I'm telling everyone
that that was a part
of the play.
316
00:21:57,821 --> 00:22:02,090
It's the only thing
I've ever done
and it's a disaster.
317
00:22:02,090 --> 00:22:03,528
It could be worse.
318
00:22:05,095 --> 00:22:06,326
How?
319
00:22:07,064 --> 00:22:10,165
It could be boring.
320
00:22:10,165 --> 00:22:11,636
That's true.
321
00:22:12,537 --> 00:22:14,770
I mean, how many shows
322
00:22:14,770 --> 00:22:17,106
in the history
of East Highland High
323
00:22:17,106 --> 00:22:18,774
has started a riot?
324
00:22:21,145 --> 00:22:24,946
It's not even over yet.
325
00:22:24,946 --> 00:22:27,652
Art should be dangerous.
326
00:22:30,221 --> 00:22:32,057
The show goes on.
327
00:23:23,607 --> 00:23:26,275
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
328
00:23:26,275 --> 00:23:29,114
All
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
329
00:23:34,118 --> 00:23:36,416
Lexi, Lexi, Lexi!
330
00:24:04,415 --> 00:24:08,183
Hallie... dust yourself off...
331
00:24:08,183 --> 00:24:10,420
and get back on that pony.
332
00:24:10,420 --> 00:24:11,823
Giddy up.
333
00:24:13,190 --> 00:24:15,227
Let's fuckin' do this.
334
00:24:26,671 --> 00:24:28,837
Um, as you may have noticed,
335
00:24:28,837 --> 00:24:32,207
we're experiencing some
technical difficulties.
336
00:24:33,108 --> 00:24:34,576
Um, but seriously,
337
00:24:34,576 --> 00:24:37,078
I think we're gonna
need a few minutes.
338
00:24:37,078 --> 00:24:38,746
Um...
339
00:24:38,746 --> 00:24:42,184
I just wanted
to thank you all
for being here.
340
00:24:42,184 --> 00:24:46,054
I didn't know
any of that was
gonna happen, uh...
341
00:24:46,054 --> 00:24:47,489
A little bit ago,
342
00:24:47,489 --> 00:24:52,293
I was talking to a friend
about this play,
343
00:24:52,293 --> 00:24:54,599
and I asked him...
344
00:24:55,466 --> 00:24:58,199
"What if I upset people?"
345
00:24:58,199 --> 00:25:00,002
And he said to me,
346
00:25:00,002 --> 00:25:03,675
"Sometimes, people need
to get their feelings hurt."
347
00:25:06,411 --> 00:25:07,709
Um...
348
00:25:07,709 --> 00:25:11,481
so even though he couldn't
be here with us tonight...
349
00:25:11,481 --> 00:25:13,285
this one's for you.
350
00:25:31,869 --> 00:25:34,102
I'm sorry, bruh,
351
00:25:34,102 --> 00:25:37,339
but we have to make it
look like you ain't do this.
352
00:25:37,339 --> 00:25:42,177
Just get out, man.
The cops are gon' kick down
that door any second, bro.
353
00:25:42,177 --> 00:25:45,447
Even if they know that
you did this, bruh...
354
00:25:45,447 --> 00:25:48,350
I'm still gonna
go down longer.
355
00:25:48,350 --> 00:25:49,989
- No.
- Come here, bruh.
356
00:25:52,023 --> 00:25:53,225
Listen to me.
357
00:25:54,253 --> 00:25:55,758
Just go out there and surrender.
358
00:25:55,758 --> 00:25:58,293
It's all on me, bruh.
You hear me?
359
00:25:58,293 --> 00:25:59,962
- No.
- They gon' come in here.
360
00:25:59,962 --> 00:26:03,131
They gon' find me
with the knife in my hand.
361
00:26:03,131 --> 00:26:05,634
Tell 'em you had nothin'
to do with this shit.
362
00:26:05,634 --> 00:26:08,804
Listen to me.
I did this shit!
363
00:26:08,804 --> 00:26:10,772
I killed this muthafucker.
364
00:26:10,772 --> 00:26:13,342
You hearin' me?
Not you.
365
00:26:13,342 --> 00:26:14,744
Mm-mm. No.
366
00:26:14,744 --> 00:26:18,548
C'mon, now go wash
your fucking hands.
367
00:26:18,548 --> 00:26:20,152
I love you, brother.
368
00:27:29,787 --> 00:27:34,589
Ash, stop playin'!
I need you to walk out this
fuckin' door right now, bruh!
369
00:27:34,589 --> 00:27:37,025
Ash, we not doin'
this shit, man!
370
00:27:37,025 --> 00:27:39,595
How you think this
gonna end, bruh?!
371
00:27:39,595 --> 00:27:41,366
You trying to die?
372
00:27:53,644 --> 00:27:55,747
Give me the gun, bruh.
373
00:27:59,150 --> 00:28:01,483
Ash...
374
00:28:01,483 --> 00:28:04,254
I'm not finna let
nothin' happen to you.
Now, give me the gun.
375
00:28:04,254 --> 00:28:06,191
Come on, bro.
376
00:28:08,824 --> 00:28:11,130
I'm not fuckin' askin', bro.
377
00:28:12,797 --> 00:28:15,034
Come on, bro, please.
378
00:28:44,263 --> 00:28:45,397
Fuck!
379
00:28:53,270 --> 00:28:56,508
Ash!
Ash, open the fucking
door right now!
380
00:28:59,110 --> 00:29:00,609
I'm not playin' with you!
381
00:29:00,609 --> 00:29:01,944
- Ash!
382
00:29:01,944 --> 00:29:04,016
Open the fucking door!
383
00:29:47,725 --> 00:29:49,324
Wrong. I know.
384
00:29:49,324 --> 00:29:52,193
Cal's Friend:
Enough with the dirty dad joke.
385
00:29:52,193 --> 00:29:53,498
Who is that?
386
00:29:55,367 --> 00:29:57,098
You know him?
387
00:30:03,373 --> 00:30:05,841
You're not even gonna
give me a hug, Dad?
388
00:30:05,841 --> 00:30:09,478
♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
389
00:30:14,519 --> 00:30:16,088
That's your son?
390
00:30:17,421 --> 00:30:22,425
♪ Just to be there
in your arms ♪
391
00:30:22,425 --> 00:30:23,495
Yep.
392
00:30:24,729 --> 00:30:26,465
Got all the best
parts of him.
393
00:30:27,564 --> 00:30:29,399
Think I know
what part that is.
394
00:30:38,943 --> 00:30:41,513
You know what I think
we have in common?
395
00:30:46,050 --> 00:30:48,620
When we both get off
on hurting other people.
396
00:30:49,521 --> 00:30:51,023
What do ya think?
397
00:30:54,458 --> 00:30:57,396
- You wanna talk
about this upstairs?
No.
398
00:31:13,043 --> 00:31:15,981
So, you, uh,
livin' here now?
399
00:31:17,782 --> 00:31:19,584
Uh, or the moment, yeah.
400
00:31:23,521 --> 00:31:24,884
Ya happy?
401
00:31:27,419 --> 00:31:28,724
I'm figuring it out.
402
00:31:33,431 --> 00:31:34,533
Sorry.
403
00:31:46,643 --> 00:31:49,745
- Are you happier?
Why don't we go
talk about this upstairs?
404
00:31:49,745 --> 00:31:52,217
- It's a simple question.
- Yes...
405
00:31:53,851 --> 00:31:55,220
In some ways.
406
00:31:57,455 --> 00:32:00,956
- That's not fair.
I know.
407
00:32:00,956 --> 00:32:03,558
You don't get
to ruin our lives.
408
00:32:03,558 --> 00:32:07,066
And then, just... move on
and get to be happier.
409
00:32:08,566 --> 00:32:10,602
I've made a lot of mistakes.
410
00:32:13,638 --> 00:32:15,207
When I was...
411
00:32:18,075 --> 00:32:20,012
eleven years old...
412
00:32:21,512 --> 00:32:26,151
I found these videos of my dad
fucking hookers in a motel room.
413
00:32:29,688 --> 00:32:31,086
You know, for the longest time,
414
00:32:31,086 --> 00:32:34,359
I had this recurring nightmare,
just over and over...
415
00:32:35,759 --> 00:32:39,364
and in it, he was fuckin' me
the way that he fucked them.
416
00:32:45,302 --> 00:32:48,270
Did I ever tell you
about that, Dad?
417
00:32:48,270 --> 00:32:52,903
I think it's time that...
uh, that everybody go.
418
00:32:52,903 --> 00:32:57,216
- Um, um, I need
to talk to my son.
- Oh god.
419
00:33:01,018 --> 00:33:02,951
Good luck.
420
00:33:02,951 --> 00:33:05,224
- Bye.
- See ya, buddy.
421
00:33:10,327 --> 00:33:13,528
I spent my whole life
tryin' to protect you.
422
00:33:13,528 --> 00:33:17,036
And instead of loving me,
you fuckin' hated me for it.
423
00:33:19,937 --> 00:33:22,938
I'm not proud
of the person I've been.
424
00:33:22,938 --> 00:33:25,310
I know that
I've hurt you.
425
00:33:27,111 --> 00:33:28,476
I don't wanna hear it.
426
00:33:28,476 --> 00:33:30,779
I tried to keep it separate.
427
00:33:30,779 --> 00:33:32,384
I failed.
428
00:33:38,022 --> 00:33:39,758
I fucked up, Nate...
429
00:33:42,727 --> 00:33:44,329
but I love you.
430
00:33:45,864 --> 00:33:47,432
I love you.
431
00:33:48,332 --> 00:33:49,664
And I should've
protected you,
432
00:33:49,664 --> 00:33:52,504
I should've
kept you safe,
and I didn't.
433
00:33:53,070 --> 00:33:54,673
I didn't.
434
00:33:57,174 --> 00:33:59,578
And there's nothing
I regret more.
435
00:34:06,150 --> 00:34:08,387
I don't want your apology.
436
00:34:14,191 --> 00:34:16,428
I just want revenge.
437
00:34:17,562 --> 00:34:19,231
What does that mean?
438
00:34:30,708 --> 00:34:32,444
What is that?
439
00:34:38,750 --> 00:34:40,352
It's everything.
440
00:34:43,888 --> 00:34:45,390
Everything.
441
00:34:52,063 --> 00:34:53,432
Nate...
442
00:34:56,834 --> 00:34:58,099
don't do this.
443
00:34:59,167 --> 00:35:00,639
Nate, look at me.
444
00:35:01,839 --> 00:35:03,742
Do not do this.
445
00:35:05,777 --> 00:35:06,876
Nate, don't do this.
446
00:35:06,876 --> 00:35:08,343
I'm, I'm,
I'm begging you.
447
00:35:08,343 --> 00:35:10,912
- Don't do this.
- You are...
448
00:35:10,912 --> 00:35:12,484
who you are.
449
00:35:15,152 --> 00:35:17,422
I don't think you're
ever gonna change.
450
00:35:35,907 --> 00:35:38,643
Chief Greenwood?
He's in here.
451
00:35:42,146 --> 00:35:44,283
Thanks, Nate.
Appreciate it.
452
00:36:00,097 --> 00:36:02,097
Cal, you're under arrest.
453
00:36:02,097 --> 00:36:04,633
Put your hands
behind your head.
454
00:36:04,633 --> 00:36:05,870
Both of 'em.
455
00:36:30,726 --> 00:36:32,528
Hands up!
456
00:36:37,001 --> 00:36:40,169
Ash!
457
00:36:42,838 --> 00:36:46,979
Hands in the air!
458
00:36:48,279 --> 00:36:50,779
Fezco
Don't do this shit!
459
00:36:50,779 --> 00:36:52,384
Hands up!
460
00:36:53,284 --> 00:36:55,217
Hands up!
461
00:36:55,217 --> 00:36:56,852
On the ground!
462
00:36:56,852 --> 00:36:58,087
Open door right!
463
00:37:00,617 --> 00:37:02,494
Get 'em up!
464
00:37:06,831 --> 00:37:08,831
Come on! Come out!
465
00:37:08,831 --> 00:37:10,333
Ash!
466
00:37:10,333 --> 00:37:12,400
Ash, open the door!
467
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,503
- Don't move!
- Drop the knife now!
468
00:37:15,503 --> 00:37:18,373
Don't shoot, don't shoot!
There's a kid in there!
469
00:37:18,373 --> 00:37:20,074
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
470
00:37:20,074 --> 00:37:22,978
- There's a kid in here!
There's a kid in here!
- Drop the knife now!
471
00:37:22,978 --> 00:37:24,246
Please, don't shoot!
472
00:37:24,246 --> 00:37:26,315
Ash, come outta there!
473
00:37:26,315 --> 00:37:27,616
Drop your knife!
474
00:37:27,616 --> 00:37:30,019
Move slowly!
There's a kid in here!
475
00:37:30,019 --> 00:37:31,386
Please, don't shoot!
476
00:37:31,386 --> 00:37:33,889
- Please, Ash, come out!
- Move back to my voice!
477
00:37:33,889 --> 00:37:35,224
- Keep backing out!
- Ash!
478
00:37:35,224 --> 00:37:37,025
Come out, man!
479
00:37:38,927 --> 00:37:40,996
There's a fuckin' kid
up in there!
480
00:37:46,535 --> 00:37:47,672
Aaaah!
481
00:37:52,444 --> 00:37:55,077
Ash!
482
00:38:03,387 --> 00:38:05,490
Ash!
483
00:38:15,300 --> 00:38:16,431
Don't shoot!
484
00:38:16,431 --> 00:38:20,439
Ash, come on!
Get outta there!
485
00:38:27,511 --> 00:38:32,180
Please! Ash, come on, please!
486
00:38:32,180 --> 00:38:35,454
Don't shoot him!
It's a fucking kid!
487
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,392
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Ash!
488
00:38:57,206 --> 00:39:00,042
Ash!
489
00:39:15,793 --> 00:39:16,929
Ash!
490
00:39:20,698 --> 00:39:22,067
Ash!
491
00:39:23,868 --> 00:39:26,471
Ash! Ash!
492
00:39:27,872 --> 00:39:29,104
Answer me!
493
00:39:32,477 --> 00:39:35,547
Ash!
494
00:39:45,022 --> 00:39:46,386
Shh.
495
00:40:06,143 --> 00:40:07,479
He's down!
496
00:40:53,657 --> 00:40:55,928
I was in the hall
when you died.
497
00:40:57,828 --> 00:41:02,201
You let out a loud cry
like you didn't know
what was gonna happen...
498
00:41:03,233 --> 00:41:05,170
and then,
it was silent.
499
00:41:07,538 --> 00:41:11,640
My... my first
thought was...
500
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:13,946
"This feels
like a movie."
501
00:41:16,147 --> 00:41:17,813
I know a lot of people
feel that way when
502
00:41:17,813 --> 00:41:20,119
traumatic things
happen to them.
503
00:41:23,053 --> 00:41:25,958
Uh, at least,
I, I hear that a lot.
504
00:41:27,258 --> 00:41:29,228
It didn't feel real.
505
00:41:33,564 --> 00:41:35,667
It felt like a movie.
506
00:41:37,567 --> 00:41:39,268
Uh, and this is it.
This is...
507
00:41:39,268 --> 00:41:42,774
This is the part where
the character never recovers.
508
00:41:46,710 --> 00:41:49,949
The part where...
life takes them down.
509
00:41:51,282 --> 00:41:52,784
This is the s--
510
00:41:54,919 --> 00:41:57,419
This is the scene
that scars her forever.
511
00:42:05,464 --> 00:42:06,896
Lexi.
512
00:42:06,896 --> 00:42:09,801
- Get dressed. It's your dad.
What?
513
00:43:41,692 --> 00:43:44,964
Feel like your whole life
you've been forced
to take care of everyone.
514
00:44:12,223 --> 00:44:14,426
I, uh--
515
00:44:15,292 --> 00:44:17,459
I watched you die...
516
00:44:17,459 --> 00:44:21,333
and all I could think about
was how none of it felt real.
517
00:44:25,269 --> 00:44:27,903
The lights,
the heavy boots
of the EMTs
518
00:44:27,903 --> 00:44:31,076
and their respectful,
quiet voices...
519
00:44:32,877 --> 00:44:34,980
"Let's lift him on three."
520
00:44:37,782 --> 00:44:39,718
It was so quiet.
521
00:44:44,789 --> 00:44:46,125
I was numb.
522
00:44:46,658 --> 00:44:48,623
I didn't care.
523
00:44:48,623 --> 00:44:52,831
I wasn't feeling life
in the way it was meant
to be felt because...
524
00:44:54,265 --> 00:44:57,500
I wasn't present.
I wasn't actually there.
525
00:44:57,500 --> 00:44:59,371
I was just watching it.
526
00:45:04,975 --> 00:45:06,979
But that's not true.
527
00:45:09,313 --> 00:45:11,816
I do care.
528
00:45:15,353 --> 00:45:16,821
And what if...
529
00:45:19,790 --> 00:45:22,785
what if... the reason
it felt like a movie
530
00:45:22,785 --> 00:45:26,165
was because I wanted
to believe that losing you...
531
00:45:27,098 --> 00:45:29,501
is a part of a larger story.
532
00:45:31,769 --> 00:45:33,733
One that maybe I could...
533
00:45:34,739 --> 00:45:36,808
maybe I could still shape.
534
00:45:44,214 --> 00:45:49,821
I... I remember
a couple of days before
you passed away.
535
00:45:51,322 --> 00:45:52,752
You told me...
536
00:45:53,891 --> 00:45:56,228
that if I ever wanted
to be with you...
537
00:45:58,162 --> 00:46:00,832
all I would have to do
is close my eyes...
538
00:46:02,032 --> 00:46:04,203
and we'd be together.
539
00:46:11,308 --> 00:46:12,477
You said that...
540
00:46:13,778 --> 00:46:16,515
memories exist
outside of time...
541
00:46:17,815 --> 00:46:20,252
and have no
beginning or end.
542
00:46:22,687 --> 00:46:25,721
You said as long as I live...
543
00:46:25,721 --> 00:46:28,027
you'll be with me forever.
544
00:46:33,264 --> 00:46:34,967
I miss you, Dad.
545
00:46:37,835 --> 00:46:40,072
I miss you until
I close my eyes.
546
00:46:42,374 --> 00:46:43,639
That's it.
547
00:46:45,507 --> 00:46:47,146
Thank you.
548
00:47:13,003 --> 00:47:14,339
Lexi
Hey.
549
00:47:15,100 --> 00:47:16,375
Hey.
550
00:47:17,242 --> 00:47:18,343
Um...
551
00:47:20,277 --> 00:47:23,282
I, I just, I just wanted
to tell you that I...
552
00:47:24,514 --> 00:47:27,286
I thought your play
was really beautiful.
553
00:47:30,087 --> 00:47:32,254
You might be the only
one who thinks that.
554
00:47:32,254 --> 00:47:35,057
Yeah, well, could you
imagine if I, like,
555
00:47:35,057 --> 00:47:37,393
hated it and Cassie loved it?
556
00:47:41,099 --> 00:47:43,199
Um, but what are
you doing today?
557
00:47:43,199 --> 00:47:44,636
Um, I was--
558
00:47:46,904 --> 00:47:49,238
Yeah, just laying in bed.
559
00:47:51,139 --> 00:47:55,314
Cool, well, um, can I...
maybe, like, come over?
560
00:47:56,748 --> 00:47:57,950
Yeah.
561
00:47:58,583 --> 00:47:59,748
Totally.
562
00:47:59,748 --> 00:48:02,518
Okay cool.
I'll... see you later then.
563
00:48:02,518 --> 00:48:04,323
- Okay.
- Okay, bye.
564
00:48:56,173 --> 00:48:59,341
I feel like all
the kids in high school
are super crazy.
565
00:48:59,341 --> 00:49:01,210
It's literally
the same as eighth grade.
566
00:49:01,210 --> 00:49:03,946
People are just
way more dramatic.
567
00:49:03,946 --> 00:49:06,418
All the senior guys
are, like, nice.
568
00:49:07,151 --> 00:49:09,088
How are you
feeling?
569
00:49:10,855 --> 00:49:12,921
I don't know.
I'm okay.
570
00:49:23,501 --> 00:49:24,966
All right, all right.
I never see the five
571
00:49:24,966 --> 00:49:26,034
of you little
babies together,
572
00:49:26,034 --> 00:49:27,602
so we're gonna take
a photo, okay?
573
00:49:27,602 --> 00:49:29,337
- No, Mom, please
don't take a photo.
- All right, everyone come
574
00:49:29,337 --> 00:49:30,838
together like that.
Beautiful!
575
00:49:30,838 --> 00:49:32,875
- Mom, no one wants
to remember this moment.
- Oh, you little
576
00:49:32,875 --> 00:49:35,347
- sugar sweethearts.
- Please, stop, stop.
577
00:49:45,050 --> 00:49:46,554
I think your play
was the first time
578
00:49:46,554 --> 00:49:49,528
I was able to look at my life
and not hate myself...
579
00:49:51,262 --> 00:49:53,198
for everything I've done.
580
00:49:54,866 --> 00:49:56,268
What do you mean?
581
00:49:59,437 --> 00:50:02,574
I don't know.
I think I've been
through a lot.
582
00:50:04,174 --> 00:50:06,211
And I don't know
what to do with it.
583
00:50:08,379 --> 00:50:10,679
But you've been through a lot
and you know what to do with it.
584
00:50:10,679 --> 00:50:14,686
- I don't know about that.
- Lex, look what you made.
585
00:50:16,020 --> 00:50:18,590
I don't know how to do that.
586
00:50:24,662 --> 00:50:27,599
I don't know how to get
to where you are.
587
00:50:32,869 --> 00:50:36,308
But I just wanted you
to know that seeing it
meant the world to me.
588
00:50:53,991 --> 00:50:56,395
Do you think about
your dad often?
589
00:51:02,401 --> 00:51:03,331
Me too.
590
00:51:03,331 --> 00:51:05,066
I feel like I had
so much to learn
591
00:51:05,066 --> 00:51:08,203
from him still,
you know?
592
00:51:08,203 --> 00:51:10,509
I also think I'm
really angry about it.
593
00:51:11,075 --> 00:51:12,677
Yeah.
594
00:51:15,645 --> 00:51:19,079
Do you ever...
get angry about it?
595
00:51:20,651 --> 00:51:23,719
It's a bit more
complicated than that.
596
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:25,555
What do you mean?
597
00:51:25,555 --> 00:51:27,355
I think, like...
598
00:51:27,355 --> 00:51:30,425
I was kind of relieved
when he stopped showing up.
599
00:51:30,425 --> 00:51:33,298
'Cause I was so worried
something bad was gonna happen.
600
00:51:38,637 --> 00:51:39,704
I get that.
601
00:51:41,672 --> 00:51:42,604
Now...
602
00:51:42,604 --> 00:51:45,877
every time the phone rings,
it's like...
603
00:51:47,878 --> 00:51:49,148
You know?
604
00:51:59,957 --> 00:52:02,194
But you figured it out.
605
00:52:03,961 --> 00:52:05,697
You fuckin' figured it out.
606
00:52:10,834 --> 00:52:13,235
When my dad died,
everybody would
tell me that...
607
00:52:13,235 --> 00:52:15,307
he died
for a reason.
608
00:52:17,108 --> 00:52:20,542
Ah, that shit
used to piss me off.
609
00:52:20,542 --> 00:52:23,215
I would literally wanna
fucking strangle them.
610
00:52:26,618 --> 00:52:28,350
But...
611
00:52:28,350 --> 00:52:32,324
I think what they're
actually saying is that
you gotta give it a reason.
612
00:52:37,028 --> 00:52:39,264
You gotta give all
this shit a reason.
613
00:52:42,867 --> 00:52:46,405
Because I don't wanna
hold on to this forever.
614
00:52:49,273 --> 00:52:52,377
I can't, I can't
hold on to it forever.
615
00:52:56,347 --> 00:52:58,217
Just doesn't feel good.
616
00:53:00,151 --> 00:53:01,616
It's just--
617
00:53:01,616 --> 00:53:04,924
- I know other people are,
like, built different, but--
- Yeah.
618
00:53:07,858 --> 00:53:09,494
it's too much for me.
619
00:53:13,264 --> 00:53:16,031
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- No.
620
00:53:16,031 --> 00:53:19,338
- No, sorry.
- I'm sorry. I didn't--
621
00:53:23,007 --> 00:53:24,376
Lexi...
622
00:53:25,743 --> 00:53:28,413
I promise you,
it's not all his fault.
623
00:53:34,451 --> 00:53:36,388
I don't know for certain...
624
00:53:39,957 --> 00:53:41,260
but I'm, uh...
625
00:53:43,593 --> 00:53:45,326
I'm pretty sure he
wakes up every day
626
00:53:45,326 --> 00:53:47,799
and he thinks,
"I'm gonna be better for her.
627
00:53:49,233 --> 00:53:51,336
I'm gonna be there for her."
628
00:53:58,042 --> 00:53:59,778
That's also the problem.
629
00:54:01,479 --> 00:54:03,715
Because he only wants
to be better for you.
630
00:54:12,155 --> 00:54:15,760
Because I know that
he loves you a lot more
than he loves himself.
631
00:54:20,165 --> 00:54:21,696
Mm.
632
00:54:21,696 --> 00:54:24,569
I don't know if that
made you feel better.
633
00:54:27,372 --> 00:54:28,740
Thank you.
634
00:54:43,783 --> 00:54:45,057
It's okay.
635
00:55:05,042 --> 00:55:06,711
I miss you.
636
00:56:24,922 --> 00:56:26,926
Do you know what's funny?
637
00:56:29,593 --> 00:56:32,831
Nate broke up with me before
I even went on that stage.
638
00:56:36,535 --> 00:56:37,903
Don't worry.
639
00:56:39,064 --> 00:56:41,106
This is just the beginning.
640
00:57:44,235 --> 00:57:45,834
Sorry.
641
00:57:45,834 --> 00:57:47,072
Sorry.
642
00:57:47,839 --> 00:57:49,108
Sorry.
643
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:50,976
Hi!
644
00:57:59,783 --> 00:58:03,788
I know you're probably
still really angry at me...
645
00:58:05,089 --> 00:58:09,929
but I just wanted to tell
you that I love you.
646
00:58:12,563 --> 00:58:14,494
And I miss you.
647
00:58:15,233 --> 00:58:16,735
So much.
648
00:59:07,246 --> 00:59:10,018
Jules was my first love.
649
00:59:10,018 --> 00:59:12,888
I'd like to
remember it that way.
650
00:59:12,888 --> 00:59:15,858
I don't know if that's
actually true, though.
651
00:59:15,858 --> 00:59:18,163
I think I was high
for too much of it.
652
00:59:19,430 --> 00:59:21,229
I know it wasn't easy for her.
653
00:59:21,229 --> 00:59:23,135
And I hope she forgives me.
654
00:59:28,105 --> 00:59:31,540
I stayed clean through
the rest of the school year.
655
00:59:31,540 --> 00:59:34,876
I wish I could say that
was a decision I made.
656
00:59:34,876 --> 00:59:37,649
In some ways,
it was just easier.
657
00:59:39,483 --> 00:59:42,254
I don’t know if this feeling
will last forever...
658
00:59:44,254 --> 00:59:45,958
but I am trying.
659
00:59:51,395 --> 00:59:53,228
I remember Ali said,
660
00:59:53,228 --> 00:59:56,265
"The thought of maybe
being a good person,
661
00:59:56,265 --> 00:59:59,271
is what keeps me trying
to be a good person."
662
01:00:01,738 --> 01:00:04,043
Maybe there’s
something to that.
663
01:00:05,544 --> 01:00:07,409
♪ Hey, Lord ♪
664
01:00:07,409 --> 01:00:11,050
♪ You know I'm trying ♪
665
01:00:12,383 --> 01:00:13,916
♪ Hey, Lord ♪
666
01:00:13,916 --> 01:00:17,789
♪ You know I'm trying ♪
667
01:00:19,357 --> 01:00:22,625
♪ It's all I got ♪
668
01:00:22,625 --> 01:00:26,094
♪ Is this enough ♪
669
01:00:26,094 --> 01:00:31,070
♪ Hey Lord,
I wanna stay ♪
670
01:00:32,604 --> 01:00:34,335
♪ Hey, Lord ♪
671
01:00:34,335 --> 01:00:38,377
♪ You know I'm fighting ♪
672
01:00:39,478 --> 01:00:41,276
♪ Hey, Lord ♪
673
01:00:41,276 --> 01:00:46,048
♪ You know I'll fight it ♪
674
01:00:46,048 --> 01:00:53,117
♪ I don't know when
or how today ♪
675
01:00:53,524 --> 01:00:58,097
♪ Hey, Lord,
I'm on my way ♪
676
01:01:26,891 --> 01:01:28,458
♪ Hey, Lord ♪
677
01:01:28,458 --> 01:01:31,931
♪ You know I'm trying ♪
678
01:01:33,398 --> 01:01:34,897
♪ Hey, Lord ♪
679
01:01:34,897 --> 01:01:38,938
♪ You know I'm trying ♪
47775
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