Original subtitles

THE GREEN BUTCHERS

- Hands off. They're not done. - God damn it! Relax!

- We only have three small ones each. - Svend doesn't like making too much.

Now you've mixed them up. That's not very clever.

Hi, Bjarne. This is Beate.

She's a substitute teacher at Tina's school.

- I thought it was only going to be us. - She just dropped by.

Come and sit down, Bjarne.

- Bjarne has always been a little shy. - I know what that's like.

So, you might be opening a butcher's shop.

It's a big challenge. Eh, Svend? He doesn't handle problems well.

What do you mean?

- If you don't get enough attention... - Then what?

- Nothing. - Stay on the subject of problems.

Why shouldn't it work? If Holger can open a shop so can we.

- But he has his deer sausage. - You say "sausage" all the time.

- What do you have? - My marinade.

- Are we having those steaks? - Give Bjarne a steak.

Isn't it tough being a butcher?

Isn't there lots of blood?

- No. - It must be exciting, too.

How many pigs can you butcher in a day?

1,100.

1,100?

Have you always wanted to be a butcher?

It must be lonely in that kitchen with all that blood...

What are you doing?

Did you just kick me?

Bloody hell! What are you doing? Why did you invite me?

You need help.

- I told Svend that I don't want this. - You don't have to kick her.

That's your version. I see it differently.

Beate, don't be so delicate.

And two deer sausages. They are fantastic.

What's your secret, if you don't mind me asking?

That's a long story. I've always been fascinated by sausages.

There's something mythological about killing an animal

and then mocking it by sticking it into its own intestine.

Could anything be more humiliating that being put up your own arse?

I don't think so.

But that's one of life's little pleasures.

Now he's doing it again.

No, no... Come and see. He's done it again.

Bjarne, you can't run a business like that.

Why do they come back?

They want the sausage.

Stop saying "sausage" all the time.

I can make one that's much better than this crap.

What did you just say, piglet?

Nothing.

Delusions of grandeur, eh?

He's just running his mouth. Never mind, Holger.

I'm ashamed of being a butcher when I see you two.

What do you mean?

Bjarne's pâté doesn't sell. It tastes like a sweaty crotch.

Your marinade and meatballs aren't going like hot cakes either.

My marinade may need some work, but don't snipe at my meatballs.

They are so bloody tough that you could blow them up like balloons.

Then you should let me serve the customers.

Why hide us out here?

You'll never serve customers anywhere.

Do you know why, Svend?

Because you sweat, and you're too disgusting.

Hello, Mr. Stenbjørn.

This isn't working, Bjarne. Isn't it obvious?

We need our own place.

The sausages have gone to your head again.

- Hello again. - Hello.

My partner, Bjarne.

Hans Petersen. Call me House Hans.

Just take a moment to ponder why.

Could it be because you sell houses?

Bjarne, come and have a look.

There you have it.

Here we have a bone crusher. And look at these tiles.

Almost as good as new. Come.

All we need is some beef there, some pork there, and chicken there.

Svend, take it easy.

- What do you think? - It looks fine, but it's a lot of money.

- What do you mean? - Two million is a lot of money.

Two million? Why two all of a sudden?

You're not making sense. He said one million each.

- And that makes two million. - I don't want to discuss it.

Well, I intend to mortgage my house to the hilt.

I don't have a house. What am I supposed to do?

Then it stops here.

What am I supposed to do?

If we had known you were coming, we would have cut his hair.

That's all right.

The resemblance is uncanny.

It often is with twins. I think it's pretty common.

Yes, well...

He's in here.

You've never been here before, have you?

No.

I haven't seen him for seven years.

- He'll never wake up again, will he? - No. He's completely brain-dead.

- Then I'd like you to switch it off. - Why, all of a sudden?

I mean, it's the right decision. His organs will benefit others.

- You've never answered our letters. - I haven't opened all my mail.

I've sent you a letter every month for seven years.

- Can't you just turn it off? - Yes, of course.

- But can I ask you why... - I need money.

Our parents left him a million that I would get as the sole heir.

- When he's just lying there... - It's the best for everyone involved.

Good.

What was he like?

When you're around them for years, you often wonder what they were like.

No, it's not straight.

- Are you unable to see it? - Give us a break. It's fine.

Fine? That simply won't do.

Don't tell me, you can drink 19 beers

and then see if something is straight.

- Now it's straight. - Cheers.

It looks nice.

It's OK now, actually. Tighten the screws.

There we go.

- Don't we need to fix these lights? - Yes, when we find an electrician.

- And the one we had? - I fired him.

He kept talking about himself, and that won't fix the lights. Come.

Would you close the door this time?

Our business cards have arrived.

They're just right. With gold print and everything.

Just hand them to people, when you meet them.

Who would I meet?

You'll see. I've bought 5,000, so get cracking.

- Hi. - Hello.

Doesn't it look nice? I've tidied up a bit.

- I see. - People come on the anniversary.

I noticed that it's seven years ago today.

- You don't come often, do you? - No.

It's the first time.

I thought they were down there, actually.

- Are they your parents? - Yes.

- And your sister? - No!

She was my wife.

OK.

Was it a car accident?

How did you know?

It tends to be, when they've died on the same day.

I'll leave you to it. I always ask too many questions.

That's OK.

Thanks for tidying up and...

Don't mention it.

Excuse me...

Do you want to come to the opening of a butcher's?

What?

I'm opening one with a guy called Svend. Let me give you a card.

Here it is.

I'm handing them out. Would you like to come?

Astrid! Are you coming or what?

- We don't have all day. - I'm sorry.

- I can't. - No.

- We have two cremations tomorrow. - I know the feeling.

What was that? What did you just do with that meatball?

If we eat them, there won't be any for the customers.

I shouldn't have to spend half of my opening hours telling you.

- And what's that? - They're napkins for the samples.

I assure you, they're not. They will ruin the colour scheme.

Have a look at the colour of the counter. It's green, isn't it?

And the balloons? They're green.

Stop, Svend. Or I'll leave, and there won't be any wedding.

It's not my fault there aren't any customers in your stupid shop.

We've played for almost two hours, and we have a ferry to catch.

Is that so? Well, then you'd better sod off with that racket.

Take your lousy music and get lost. Go on, get lost.

- You can't talk to them like that. - Oh, yes, I can.

- You're such an idiot. - Easy now.

It's not Svend's fault that you bought the wrong napkins.

That's what I've been saying, but she doesn't listen to me. Do you?

When I get the upper hand, you run out of the shop, eh?

I get the upper hand, and then you run.

What am I doing wrong? I thought I did everything right.

We have offers and decorations. So where are the customers?

- I'm going for a dump. - Yeah, do that.

Do that.

- It's bloody cold in there. - It's a freezer. What did you expect?

I'll go get my jacket.

It's going to take a while. The wiring is an awful mess.

Taste this marinade.

- Taste this marinade. - No.

Smell this marinade.

Smell the marinade. It smells good, eh?

I smoke 20 joints a day. I wouldn't smell it if my hair was on fire.

Could you be a bit more productive? How about the business cards?

- Did you hand any out? - Yes.

Yes? How many?

I don't know. A few.

Go on in, Svend.

Not before you promise to be there tonight.

I won't be.

Go on.

This is an absurd time to break up.

I'm about to get a grotesquely large number of customers.

The barbecue season is not the right time to break up.

- People want cutlets and... - Stop talking about cutlets!

Why do you say that? I haven't talked about cutlets.

This isn't about cutlets or any other meat.

We're just not right for each other, Svend.

Then you're like all the others. You don't like me any more.

- I lost my parents as an infant. - Enough with your parents!

I'll clear out my things before you get home

OK.

If that's how you feel, why aren't you at work? Why are you here?

- Then get out of the car. - I will, but you won't see me tonight.

- No, I won't. - Then I'll get out.

But I know you, Tina. You won't leave because you'd miss the good life.

Just sit there and be a martyr.

Let's see you drive off, or is it just an empty threat?

Drive off, Tina. Drive off.

Holger?

So, this is where you reside. No expense spared, I see.

I'll just force my way through this swarm of well-paying customers

to get to the counter.

We haven't opened yet, and we won't until Bjarne gets here.

Come off it, Svend. How's it going? Do you have any customers?

Yes, I would say so.

Excellent. Then you don't need to stand there sweating like a pig.

I would like you to leave, Holger.

I have a right to be here. I'm buying something.

Certainly not. Would you please leave?

Show me what you're made of.

The Rotary board of directors are coming for dinner. We'll be 12.

Can you handle that?

Or is your shop all about mahogany and gleaming tiles?

Sweaty Svend.

Hello?

What?

Bloody hell!

Good grief!

OK...

Pull yourself together, Svend.

It was an accident.

We'll call and report it.

This is not good. Not at all.

We'll just tell it like it is.

It will be all right...

There should be a handle on the inside.

This is not good.

Where's his leg?

- I don't know. - Listen.

Why is he on a meat hook with one leg missing?

Because Holger came by.

And Tina has left me. She says I talk about cutlets to much.

- What have you done? - I panicked.

- Holger provoked me. You know him. - And what did you do?

I cut 13 fillets from his leg and put them in marinade.

Holger is having the Rotary over for a barbecue. Tonight!

Are you insane? Have you lost it completely?

I panicked, OK?

It's already done.

Can't we still report it? I didn't mean to do it.

I didn't mean to kill him. It was an accident.

You've just sold his thigh, you fool.

It might have been an accident, but you chose to cut him up.

It's all over.

We're finished, Svend.

I know. I shouldn't have gone that far. Sorry.

What do we do?

What do we do with him?

I'm not sure.

Throw him in the bone crusher. Nobody knows, he was here.

He was moonlighting.

You want to crush him?

No. I'm just trying to help you. Think of something else, then.

What about Holger's guests? What do we tell them?

Let's put him in the bone crusher.

We'll do it tomorrow, when he's frozen. Otherwise it'll be too disgusting.

BUTCHERS

I'm glad you're here. They're raving mad.

- What's happening? - I'll tell you.

Holger's dinner guests all want more. Mr Juhl heard about it last night.

Heard about what?

The fillets. They love them. They think it's chicken.

What are you doing?

I don't want to let customers down, so I'm selling a bit more of him.

- I'll kill you. - Stop it.

It doesn't matter, whether we use the bone crusher or sell a bit more.

- It's the safest way, as you said. - I didn't say that!

OK, you didn't. But you know what?

We're not forcing it down their throats. I don't have time for this.

- Has Tina gone? - Yes.

Why should she stay when I've left her?

Svend...

- Can't you see that you're mad? - That may be the case.

- Can't you? - Yes.

Yes.

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I was thinking.

He was hanging there. I just wanted to get rid of him.

I didn't care how.

Pull yourself together...

How?

He's already in the counter.

In the counter, in the freezer and on the table. What a mess!

I'm going home.

No, Svend. You're not going home.

Go out there and get this over and done with.

You're doing it now.

Where were we? Two chicky-wickies, right?

Yes, please.

- Anything else? - Two meatballs, a small pâté.

- And 200 grams of roast beef. - Coming right up.

He's really going at it out there. Is he cutting down a tree?

No, just working hard. A small one?

There you go.

We'll never mention this again.

Tomorrow morning we'll just say that we're out of chicken fillets.

Chicky-wickies. That's what I call them.

Svend's chicky-wickies, but they're also yours.

You have to stop now.

Yes, of course.

That's that.

That's that.

Bjarne, I've never told you this, but...

my parents died when I was very young.

Yes, you have. Lots of times.

And I wasn't popular at school. I got beaten up every day.

All the other children picked on me constantly

because I didn't have any parents.

So they hit me and stole my lunch money.

That's why I'm so skinny.

I practically didn't eat before I became a butcher's apprentice.

And they hit me with different things.

With planks of wood.

And torches.

And a green bicycle pump.

- And belts... - Enough with the examples.

It's doesn't matter. What are you trying to say?

I'm fully aware that I don't have the most charming of personalities.

People have always been nasty to me and called me all sorts of things.

They've called me names. Including you know what.

- Sweaty Svend? - Yes.

They certainly have.

I was always afraid. Afraid of going to school.

Afraid of dying. Afraid of girls.

I was afraid of people, Bjarne. And I still am to some extent.

But then I met Tina,

and then I thought that everything would get better, but it didn't.

And that was the point, Bjarne,

when I decided to open my own shop.

How the hell does that make sense?

I didn't make myself that clear, but I'm a little tired and confused.

You know what, Svend? See you tomorrow.

Bjarne, I just want to...

Let me put it another way. A more direct way.

I've never been loved.

Now the cat is out of the bag.

But...?

But today...

The things I experienced here behind the counter, Bjarne,

it felt fantastic.

It felt really nice.

People talked to me differently, and they smiled at me.

I changed myself.

That has its advantages, Bjarne.

Don't get cross now

but we can't open tomorrow without meat.

That's impossible now.

It stops here. It's sick, and I don't want to hear it.

- Understand? - Yes.

That really hurt, you know. You're insane.

Insanity is only a problem if you're not aware of it.

See you tomorrow.

You've reached Bjarne's machine. I'm not at home, so leave a message.

This is Ingrid Grith from Fjeldsted Sanatorium.

We're ready to turn off your brother's life support,

so that we can all move on. We are very grateful. Goodbye.

Hello?

I was just passing by.

- Do you always sit in there alone? - Yes, sometimes.

The undertaker doesn't always have time for it all.

Winter is a busy time. Many people give up at Christmas.

And then I help out.

It's more fun than feeding chickens.

- I hear your shop is doing well. - Do you now?

- Everybody's talking about you. - I see.

Yes, we're doing great.

I was thinking...seeing as the... the chickens are getting fed...

- Have you eaten? - No.

Would you like to? I know a place.

Hello?

- House Hans? - Yes.

Or...

That's actually the reason, I'm here.

I wanted to tell you, that you can call me Hans from now on.

The other thing sounds stupid. I realise that.

It's a bad idea to perceive one's job as an identity.

Is that why you came?

I was in the neighbourhood and decided to drop by

to see how it's going?

Everything is fine.

- Does anybody know you're here? - No. Why do you ask?

No particular reason.

I'm just tired. It's been a long day. You know, lots of customers.

Well, let me show you the shop.

Let's begin with the freezer. It has really shaped up.

It's dark and cold. Is there no light?

Plenty of light. Over there in the corner.

Yes, this is very impressive...

Hello?

What happened?

I think the door closed by itself.

I don't think we know each other that well.

Let me out! Please let me out. This isn't funny any more.

You'll have to excuse the mess. I've had a lot on my plate.

- And I was burgled. - When?

It must have been a couple of years ago.

It's all right.

All these skeletons. Have you killed them?

Yes, except for the whale.

I know it's a bit macabre, but it's been a sort of hobby.

- A bit like a coin collection. - But you collect skeletons.

I know it sounds stupid.

Svend always tells me that it's sick.

What did you shoot this one with?

I killed this one with a piece of cloth.

I haven't got any tea.

But I've got lots of weed. Will that do?

As long as you have milk and sugar.

Why are you so cheerful?

What's up with you?

- Nothing's up. - Yes, what is it?

I've met a girl.

- Have you? - It's nothing special.

Nothing special? It certainly is, Bjarne.

We're on a roll. Can't you feel it?

- We're on a roll. - What the hell are you wearing?

Follow me.

This is our new uniform. It's great, don't you think?

- Yes, it's very... - Come.

And the hat.

Bloody hell!

Svend, you psychopath. You really are insane.

Would you just let me explain? Thank you.

Last night after cleaning up I found him lying on the street.

Bjarne, it's him. It's our estate agent.

- Is it House Hans? - Yes. He wants us to call him Hans.

Let me finish.

I went outside and found him there dead. So I carried him in here.

Then we'll have to report it.

He was already dead. There's nothing to report.

I'm not lying this time. He was dead.

I'm off. I want out of this.

Has it come to that again?

- You don't understand this. - What do you mean?

First of all, he was dead. And second of all...

Do you think it's a coincidence that you've met a nice girl right now?

Astrid?

Don't you find it a little bit odd that you suddenly meet a girl like her?

- Didn't she ask about the shop? - Yes.

That's the way it is, Bjarne.

You're successful, I'm successful.

That's why Anita wants you. Because we're successful.

- Her name is Astrid. - Yes, exactly.

Cut him up, will you?

We'll set up there.

Hello?

- Anything else? - No. Do you know what time it's on?

At 4.15 in the morning. 8 kroner.

Turn off the life support.

- Wait a minute. - What's up?

- His pulse is still stable. - It can't be.

Hi there. Sorry I'm late.

- I've been out all night. - I've taken care of the shop.

- I've been out all night. - OK.

- Guess who called me yesterday. - Someone who found your brain.

- Beate called. - Beate?

The one from the barbecue. Tina's friend.

She'd seen me on TV.

We went to that new club down by the river.

We got in for free because they'd also seen me on TV.

And tonight we're going bowling.

- Bowling? - Yes.

- You? - Yes.

Would you like to see a new car?

- Have you bought one? - I certainly have.

It's almost entirely green.

What's this?

Just a Swede I found in the park last night. Are you coming?

Are you coming or what?

You know the electricity pylons by the timber merchant.

Extremely dangerous, and everybody knows it.

Bjarne, are you listening to me?

What's up?

Get rid of him...

- Make him leave. Now. - Yes. Take it easy.

Hello.

I would like to talk to Bjarne Amager. Is he here?

- No comment. Anything else? - No!

- Is Bjarne coming now? - Speak properly to me, please.

I can't speak properly.

I'm brain-damaged.

But Eigil should be treated like everyone else in the house.

- Is Bjarne coming? - No. You shouldn't be here.

- Leave this place. - Don't you understand Danish?

I can't be bothered to talk to you. Leave this place.

But it's itsy-bitsy Eigil visiting.

Perhaps, but you're not getting in.

- Yes. - No.

- Yes! - No.

Yes!

Let me tell you something. Do not threaten me with that animal.

Point that giraffe somewhere else, so we can talk calmly again.

Would you... If you see Bjarne, say hello from me?

And give him this one. It's a little squirrel.

It's from Eigil.

There's a dog.

CLOSED

Bjarne?

Don't worry. He's gone.

I don't understand how this could happen.

It's a miracle. I didn't believe it myself.

Give him an injection or something. We had a deal.

You saved him. On life support he'd never have woken up.

Lock him up, then, or keep him here.

Because you've taken out a loan against his inheritance?

No, the shop is doing well, but Eigil is crazy.

There's no doubt about that, but he misses you.

No, he's just really messed up in the head.

I think you're projecting. Maybe the problem is yours.

Have you ever eaten a drumstick in front of him?

I know that Eigil is a vegetarian. He has informed the kitchen.

He's not just a vegetarian. He's obsessed with animals.

And you became a butcher.

Don't you see the problem?

No.

- I think you need to forgive Eigil. - Shut up, would you?

What happened in the car accident?

Just keep him away from me.

Lock him up. I don't give a shit.

You need help, and if you refuse ours, I'll have to talk to Svend.

- How do you know Svend? - From TV.

He seems to be the only sane person that you'll listen to.

Then go down the shop and have a chat with Svend.

Just keep Eigil away from me.

We need pâtés and salt meat. We've sold out.

- The chickens have gone off. - Then throw them out.

Chop-chop. We don't... She's got big hands.

They're not hers. I haven't started on her yet.

What did she say?

What do you say in a situation like that? She cried.

- She shouted, "Let me out". - I meant before that.

Something about you and Eigil and your need for professional help.

I don't want to talk about it. Just cut her up.

- Four chickies. - No, chicky-wickies.

- Chicky-wickies. - That's better.

You there. Out you go.

We don't want any more. We're trying to run a business.

Give it to Bjarne. It's for him. It's a little dog.

If you don't understand me, we'll do it like this. Goodbye.

Bjarne?

I know you're in there, behind the bricks.

It's Eigil, Bjarne.

Eigil, your nincompoop.

Bjarne?

No!

- Do you come here often? - Yes, sometimes.

I come to the church tower and gaze at shooting stars.

- With that weird priest? - Yes, Villumsen.

Is it true that he was in a plane crash and had to eat his wife?

Yes, on their honeymoon in Honduras they crashed into a mountain.

Everyone died but him.

He was almost frozen when they found him.

He survived by eating her.

Why didn't he eat one of the others?

No idea.

- And you're living with him? - I have my own room.

My parents died, I was homeless, and he was very nice.

He helped me arrange things and send them home.

- How did they die? - Like yours.

In Germany... between Karlsruhe and Stuttgart.

- Don't you ever want to run away? - Run away?

No. Why would you want to do that?

I've had enough.

A lot has happened since we opened that shop.

Something about me?

No, you're the only good thing that's happened.

- What then? - All sorts of things.

Svend has gone mad. And then my...

- It doesn't matter, and it's boring. - OK.

If you stay put, I'd like to help you.

No matter what it is.

Hi, Astrid. You know Holger from Rotary, don't you?

- Yes. I'm off to bed. - Where have you been?

Out with Bjarne. Goodnight.

Bjarne?

- My Bjarne? - Yes, they're seeing each other.

Those guys are really on a roll.

Something is horribly wrong there.

What do you mean?

Those two idiots forget to unzip before they take a piss.

And suddenly they are successful.

- People queue in front of the shop. - I don't understand it either.

With all due respect for the otherwise excellent function you held,

I didn't care much for the chicken you served.

Why not?

It had a strange aftertaste.

All the others loved it.

If it weren't for that bloody dinner, nobody would've heard about them.

- What was it you didn't like? - It's probably just me.

But it made me think of Grethe.

I actually thought it tasted a bit like Grethe.

Like Grethe?

Fly away up to the Lord and ask for better weather.

Hi.

- What are you doing? - I'm hiding.

- You have to look for little Eigil. - Come on. I won't hurt you.

All right, then.

I'm coming out!

What are these animals doing here?

It's a chicken family.

They've been murdered with a knife.

- Why did you do that with your hand? - No reason.

- What a strange thing to do. - What's your name?

Eigil Per Amager, but I only use Eigil.

- You're Bjarne's brother. - Yes. Yes, I am.

You can't bury animals here.

- I'm allowed to do it. - No.

Yes, because Eigil is allowed to do anything.

- Have you seen Bjarne? - No.

No, I said.

He's hiding in his shop.

Look at the chicken. It's dead.

Would you like to see some live chickens?

I've seen chickens plenty of times.

But I may be persuaded, if they are big ones.

This is a giraffe. My giraffe.

And this is a giraffe.

And my giraffe. It's my giraffe.

And this is my dog Skip. This is Skip.

- It always bit Bjarne. - Did it bite him?

He kicked it sometimes. He was allergic to dogs.

But I was allowed to touch it, because I love dogs.

- Are dogs you favourite animals? - No, all animals are.

- This is Eigil, Astrid. - And this one?

That's Eigil.

Do you know what this one is called?

- Eigil? - Yes, exactly.

- Are we going out to the chickens? - No, enough with the chickens.

It's OK for me.

Bjarne, wait a minute.

Bjarne!

- Stay away from me. - It's Eigil, Bjarne.

Yes. It's Eigil, Bjarne.

- Let's look at the chickens together. - Stay away from me.

Stay away.

What are you doing?

- Why did you do that? - Leave me alone.

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

You can't just kick him. Why are being an arsehole?

You don't know what you're talking about. Piss off.

Tina...

What are you doing here?

I just wanted to say hello.

And ask how you are.

I'm just fine.

I saw you on TV.

Oh, that. It comes with the territory.

- Have you read my interviews? - No.

- I gave one to the local paper. - I haven't read that one.

I say some great things. That's what people tell me.

With nice pictures. Why haven't you seen that?

I just haven't.

I go to the cinema for free. And to the bowling alley.

- You can't bowl, Svend. - Well, I beg to differ.

- I've seen you bowl. You're useless. - You're wrong. People say I'm good.

You slipped in your own sweat.

You hurt your head, and we went to the A & E on the way home.

Don't you remember?

Hans Petersen was an estate agent with two children.

Hans probably got fed up.

Our children can be annoying. He often talked about starting over.

And now he's left.

We follow the trail to Thailand, where he was last seen.

Every year 220 Danes disappear without a trace.

We'll try to find some of them and ask them why.

Watch "Missing Danes" tonight at...

Good evening, it's Holger. Sausage Holger.

Sorry to call so late, but you supply Svend and Bjarne too, right?

They're my boys, so I'd just like to know how much they sell.

How many chickens? How much poultry a week?

Bjarne, I'm afraid, I might have done something stupid.

I don't care, Svend.

Listen to me. I think I've crossed the line this time.

I don't care, Svend.

Give me the knife and open the shop.

You're probably right.

I'm probably just a bit sensitive this morning.

- Astrid, would you come in here? - We'll be right there.

- Couldn't you leave him outside? - Yes. Play with the chickens.

If you catch the black one, you're the best.

I think you ought to listen to Holger.

It's about Bjarne. You'd better sit down.

Well, Astrid. The thing is that Svend and Bjarne...

We're fairly certain that they're killing all my customers.

What do you mean?

They kill people and sell the meat in their shop.

My customers are getting slaughtered.

It's true, Astrid. They kill people.

Of course they don't. Stop this.

I'm saying this so that you can stop seeing him before it's too late.

Thank you.

They've only bought eight chickens, and their meat tastes like Grethe.

I don't know why... But of course they haven't done this.

You must have noticed

that Eigil isn't the kind of guy you'd ask for help with crosswords.

Those boys have problems.

Eigil was born seven minutes after Bjarne.

His brain didn't get any oxygen. Those seven minutes caused it all.

- How so? - Their parents ruined them.

They let Eigil make all the decisions, but one day in June they went too far.

You have heard about the accident, right?

No.

There was a newborn giraffe at the zoo in Stockholm

and naturally Eigil wanted to see it.

The family decided to go there.

Eigil insisted on driving, and they let him in spite of Bjarne's protests.

Eigil was eager to get there, so he drove fast. Extremely fast.

Bjarne asked him to slow down, as his new wife was in the car.

But Eigil wanted to see the giraffe in Stockholm.

- Excuse the pun. - That's all right.

Thank you.

They get to the coast, and then things go wrong.

Ironically, it's a deer that jumps out in front of the car

and Eigil swerves to avoid it.

It's a blood bath.

A halal butchering of Olympic proportions.

Both parents die, the wife dies.

Eigil ends up in a coma, Bjarne breaks an arm and a leg.

The deer is all right.

It gets away without a scratch, because Eigil chose to avoid it.

Bjarne starts wearing black.

He roams around at night killing animals

until the police catch him and give him to me.

And then I take care of him. Thank God for that.

Bjarne is sick. Stay away from him.

When you couple him with Svend, that sweaty madman, things goes wrong.

- I know they've done this, Astrid. - You're crazy.

Stay away from him. Don't get involved in this.

Hi, Astrid. Look at me.

I'm playing with the little birds. I'm flying round in circles.

Come here, Eigil. I'll show you what happens to chickens.

I'm going home.

OK.

Are you going out tonight?

I have a stomach-ache. I don't feel like being in a crowd of people.

Then don't go into the freezer.

- And you? Are you seeing Astrid? - No.

- Stay here if you feel like talking. - No.

Bjarne, please stay here and talk to me.

Svend, I can't do it any more.

See you.

- Is Bjarne here? - No. You shouldn't be here either.

Especially not this guy.

Please leave now, because it's a bad idea for you to be here.

Eigil will be nice.

We've murdered chickens, so that Bjarne will like Eigil again.

You have to listen to me. I want you to leave right now.

You can't be in here with me. I'm not feeling well.

I don't want to discuss it.

Leave now. Thank you.

He promises to behave nicely...

We just want to talk to Bjarne.

Do you know where he is?

- Why can't you just leave? - We want to talk to him.

He's in the freezer. Come on in.

Oh God. I completely forgot that there are two of you.

Is Astrid here?

Come in.

They're really nice.

- Do you like plants? - Yes, but mine have always died.

How do you make them grow like this?

With light and warmth. A bright, warm room creates life.

And you have to praise them, tell them that they look nice.

All these plants have helped me

and filled the void that Grethe left.

- You know what it's like. - Yes.

- It took me a long time to let go. - Where is Astrid?

It felt as if Grethe somehow was still inside of me.

- Well, she was in a sense. - What do you mean?

Didn't you... eat her?

Yes, I did.

- And I'm glad, I did. Even today. - Will Astrid be here soon?

She most likely will.

The great thing about Astrid is, that she lives her life in the present.

You ought to do the same. Or at least try to.

You can't turn a turtle into a racehorse, Bjarne.

But you can turn it into a very fast turtle.

OK. Do you have any idea when Astrid will be here?

She actually went to your shop tonight.

I thought you were tired.

- Has Astrid been here? - No. Why?

It's just that...

- What, Bjarne? - I'm sorry.

I just thought...

No, it doesn't matter.

- See you tomorrow. - OK.

- You said that you didn't want her. - Bloody hell, Svend.

Sorry, Astrid.

What are you doing? Are you insane?

- Leave my alone. - Relax. It was a joke.

A joke?! There's nothing funny about locking people up.

Psychopaths! Don't.

Stay away from me. You're all insane!

You two and your crazy brother. Fuck you!

- Astrid, please don't go. - Stay away from me.

Well, that's up to her.

Calm down.

I'm leaving now.

I'm leaving now.

I didn't know that she...

Eigil?

Can I hold you hand?

No...

Just for a little while?

No.

Brother Bjarne.

Eigil?

Don't you even have two for me?

We are out of chicky-wickies, until Svend returns with supplies.

We were looking forward to it.

I can fix something, but the meat is different.

- What kind of meat? - Chicken.

- Another kind of chicken. - As long as it's the same marinade.

Yes, it is Svend's marinade.

Would everyone please go outside?

The shop is closed. We're from Health and Safety.

Thank you. Leave it to me. Would everyone please go outside?

The shop is closed. We're from Health and Safety.

One batch of chicky-wickies. What's going on?

You're finished. Where's the sweaty pig?

I don't know. What do you want?

Leif Larsen from Health and Safety.

We've received a report

claiming that you're selling unauthorised meat.

Where's the queue? What's going on?

It's a Health and Safety inspection.

- No, Svend! - What's going on here?

You've found a new victim, eh?

You're out to get me.

Well, you just might get me, and I just might be guilty.

But it's already done, so just take the meat and leave.

Take my meat and run, if you have a use for it. Do you?

This is Bjarne, and he has no part in it.

I'm the guilty one, if anyone is guilty here.

I have a question.

Can you look me in the eye and say that I don't deserve this success?

No, you can't do that

because you all dream about making something that people love.

Maybe I accidentally...

Don't mind them. They do that sometimes.

Bjarne, that really hurt.

- This is just chicken in marinade. - It can't be.

- It's good. - I can't find anything.

Apart from a few joint butts, but you find those everywhere.

It's been a thorough inspection. That's always a good thing.

If it wasn't meat you were selling, then what was it?

Chicken.

Then it's all over, Bjarne.

People don't want that, so it all stops here.

- I don't think so. - Yes, I think it does.

And that's good.

- I tasted your marinade. - Well?

It's good. It's actually the best I've ever tasted.

It's good.

The meat is nothing special. I think, it was your marinade that did it.

Are you saying that my marinade is good?

Yes, your marinade is good. Everybody thinks so.

Under no circumstances was I allowed on the bus.

They were afraid of the pig.

We'll work it out, Eigil. Come.

It's an outrage.

That's what the man on the bus said.

- Throw the ball, Eigil. - No, Svend will take it.

No, I won't, you idiot. I've got my own.

I won't take it, Bjarne.

Yes.

You'll have to throw them in order to play.

- Then throw yours, Svend. - Yes, when he throws his.

Stop it, will you?

- My ball is bigger than Svend's. - I beg to differ.

- Yes, it is. - I'm not discussing this.

It's obviously smaller. Mine is not fully inflated.

Can I sit here?

Yes, of course.

Astrid, isn't my beach ball bigger than Svend's?

- Yes, it's much bigger. - Stop this nonsense.

Bjarne, tell her to measure them. Otherwise I'll go home.

My ball is the biggest one.

- Everybody loves Eigil. - Shut up.

Stop it. Svend is sweaty, but Eigil is a nice boy.

I'd much rather sweat a little than be like you, four-eyes.

We don't say "four-eyes" in this house!

You have no skills. You know why?

Because your life has been a breeze. You've had no problems.

- Yes! - You don't even have your own shop.

No, no. I can't...