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A Lucas Santa Ana film

I would be foolish

if I said that there's no evil in the world.

I would be blind

if I didn't see that this world is worn out.

It would be foolish

saying that I always speak the truth.

It would be ugly

if I lied to you and everyone knew.

Some days

rain does not let you out.

Some nights

fear does not let you decide.

A lot of people want you asleep

stay awake, so they can't confuse you.

Time is exhausting, but we have to wait.

Life hurts, but we have to walk.

The dark night won't let you move.

Sun does not shine but we must blossom anyway.

Time is exhausting, but we have to wait.

Life hurts, but we have to walk.

The dark night won't let you move.

Sun does not shine but we must blossom anyway.

-The guys are so uptight! -Meaning?

December 30, 2004

They stopped the show for a sparkler!

Are you kidding me?

-What if a spark hurts your eye? -Man up!

Hi, Moni.

Yes, I'm with him.

Of course. It's your mom.

Hi mom.

Why would I be dead, mom?

Stop crying mom.

'I’m on my way.

-What happened? -She went crazy.

Shall we?

You go, I'll wait for the band to come out.

-OK. -Take care.

Hi, mom.

Nico! Thank God!

What's wrong, mom?

There was a fire at a concert,

a lot of people died.

Are you coming home?

Godoy Cristian, Gomez Hemém,

Gomez Emanuel, Gomez Martin,

Gonzalez Leandro, Gonzalez Marcelo,

Gonzalez Laura...

The situation out side of the conceit venue is critical.

Oh, Nico...

I'm OK, mom.

It's been 2 hours! Where were you?

It's not that big a deal, I'm OK. I couldn't answer...

She was really upset thinking you were there.

You can't be so insensitive!

One of my friends could be there

and you complain because I'm a bit late!

Who is being insensitive?

Many parents are crying right now, these mother fuckers!

February 5, 2005.

ADOLESCENCE

LET THE MAN BE WHAT THE CHILD PROMISED TO BE.

CORNERED

TEEN AGER

TEEN AGER

I FEEL EMPTY INSIDE

drawing and writing make me feel better

in case of emergency use this sheet.

Hi.

-Hi. -Great T-shirt.

Thanks.

Hey, "adolescent" doesn't come from "adolecer“ (Spanish for "suffer")

-Doesn't it? -No.

And what about "president"?

It comes from "presiding over", right?

Probably. Maybe you're right.

I met Paul two years ago.

-These are great. -Thanks.

You did them?

I think he was about my actual age then,

but he looked older.

-Paul. -Zabo.

Paul gave me his mail address to chat,

we would share music and concerts,

we became close friends.

We'd tell each other everything,

almost everything.

No, dude! This is awesome! Where did you get it?

Kurt Cobain a shooting star.

-If you like it... else I keep it. -I love it!

Thanks! You're great, dude.

-Give it a look. -I can't believe it!

Paul killed himself on December 31.

I knew it a week later.

THE WORST CRIME IS PRETENDING

With all the"Cromañon“ issue I didn't realize he was missing.

Teen AGER

What is a teen AGER?

Whether at home, at school,

or on TV, adults constantly refer to us

as if we were some kind of blood sucking monsters

with no values at all nor respect to any authority,

monsters who just think of fucking any moving thing,

and get high with ail kinds of shit.

In other words:

being an adolescent is a bad thing.

Every teenager is punk, or he should be.

It's all about now for us, we don't think of tomorrow.

At least not that "tomorrow" regarding houses, dogs, cars, etc.

Yd rather kill myself than having a prefab future.

I turned 16 yesterday and stupid as it sounds

I already started having a rough time.

Everyday I'm leaving the age I've always wanted to be.

I want to record all I think, feel, and see.

I'm going to write it down so, if anyone feels related,

he“ know he's not alone.

Though the truth is

I'm the one trying not to feel so lonely.

Someone somewhere has to be going through the same thing.

MEMORIES OF A TEENAGER

Save draft

According to my ID I'm Nicolàs Martin Zamorano,

but you can call me Zabo.

The nickname comes from a stupid anecdote

I don't feel like telling.

-Breakfast's ready! -Maybe I'll tell you later.

I'm late, mom.

Nicolàs Martin Zamorano,

come sit and take the breakfast I made for you.

I'd do as she says if I were you.

Nicolàs!

Hive in "Parque Chacabuco",

or as I like to call it, "Parque Chacabuco City Rockers".

It is between two busy neighborhoods,

but it keeps a different pace.

It's a little bit grey.

When I was a kid children would play soccer by the street,

like in those scenes my father used to tell.

Regarding school, I've just started 4th year.

I was doomed to specialization in "Constructions"

in an industrial school, the absolute worst.

Making friends is really hard for me.

Let's start by saying that my looks,

which we'll define as "rustic",

keeps people from approaching.

People think I'm going to bite, and instead I just bark.

I bark loudly, I bark a lot,

but I just bark.

Despite that fact, I have a group of friends;

Lucho, the mute (he hardly talks)

Camila, who looks quiet but can be black belt at clubs,

Lucho, occasional shrink and dealer,

and my best friend at school, Tomas.

If he wasn't two years older than I,

I'd bet they made us from the same mold.

High school is synonym of gossip.

Until now, the strangest thing

would be an acquaintance having an abortion.

This year ones are much more stronger.

Abel went there and dodged it.

This clown was by the beach with his dad,

otherwise he'd have been there.

Did you hear about Joanna's friends?

Yes.

What about you? How are you?

I'm fine. Why shouldn't I?

Because one of your friends killed himself by the summer, dude.

Apparently we were not so close.

They should tell me what to answer so they feel at ease.

That's the whole point, making them feel they did OK,

that they cared on time,

unlike myself, who didn't notice Paul was missing that day.

But it'll be best if I tell you how great I'm doing with love.

The girl who is I dedicate songs to,

jerk offs, and what I don’t have

is called Maria.

She's my best friend. Yes, I'm that kind of guy.

Her eyes... I can't describe it,

when she stares at you while she tells something

it is impossible not to pay attention.

She's confident, honest and extroverted.

And the most important thing: we like the same music.

Caramel for the lady!

Thanks... and lemon!

Yes, lemon and strawberry. As always.

-You, lemon and strawberry. -'Cause I'm still the same.

Me too.

I honestly don't mean to argue...

...but I can't believe you keep choosing that flavor.

Why does it bother you?

I don't mind, but it should be free.

-Why? -Because it's awful.

Shut up!

I don't mess with your lemon and strawberry,

the most boring flavors in the world.

Maria can get me to do whatever she wants...

...even make me climb a tree... with vertigo.

-Do you really want me to climb? -If you dare...

Why wouldn't I?

It's just that I don't see the point.

-But that's what we came for. -Of course.

Of course.

-So, I'll climb. -OK.

-OK. -OK.

-Excuse me. -Sure.

But you haven't climbed at all yet, Zabo.

OK, I'll get over there.

OK.

I can't believe you're making me do this.

Let's see how you yell from there.

-I'm going to fall. -No, Zabo, you're fine.

How am I going down now?

-Let's see. -Should I jump?

Sure! Don't fall over me.

But Maria is in a relationship...

We broke up.

Congratulations?

You're an ass, Zabo,

you can't disappear because I have a boyfriend.

I think it was you who disappeared

when your boyfriend said you spent too much time with me.

I've just broke up.

Will you nag me or be my best friend?

A little of both.

Are you OK?

Yes...

...no.

Yes or no?

A little of both.

I don't know. It's just happened.

I'll realize later. Just like with you.

-With me? -Yes...

...when we started to spend less time together,

I didn't realize right away that something was missing.

Now I don't miss him, I think he's a jerk.

We'll see later on.

Yes. We'll see later on.

What were you listening?

-Some demos... -Let me hear.

Some days rain does not let you out.

-Wait! Wait! -Let me do it.

It's my time to choose.

During summer I try to attend as many concerts as possible,

but after Cromañon and the closure of clubs

there was hardly any show to attend.

Fran got the Play II as a present, and that was all the fun we got.

She's just broke up with that jerk and already came for me.

I think she's just trying to make him jealous.

And that would be a problem because...

Because she's using me, that would be the problem.

Then let her use you, dude!

Anyway, I think that girl is a creation of yours.

Shut up, dummy. You'll meet her next Saturday.

Where?

I'll throw a party in the shed. Another one.

After the mess that was last one,

you think Arnaldo will open it for you?

For the right amount of money, he will.

And where will you get it?

I asked the guys to have a whip-round at school.

He's so cute with his Elite Boy's school friends!

His wealthy little friends!

You can't have a serious conversation, dude.

There you are, there you are.. bye!

Now go home.

The shed is an abandoned place behind Chacabuco Park.

There's a security guard there; Arnaldo.

Listen; you'll behave, right?

His job is keeping squatter away.

Didn't we ever?

Why don't you go to a suburban club, like the rest of the kids?

Because they charge you based on your face, Arnaldo.

This face gets me a free pass everywhere,

but what about my friends?

Give me that, come on.

Fifty.

Arnaldo introduced us to a world we couldn't have dreamed of.

At first we just used it for skating and fooling around.

Then he let us rent it to gather before clubbing...

...which eventually became small parties.

Thirty people came to the first one, and it was fun.

After having so much fun,

all those people brought a couple of friends to the next party,

50 we ended up being seventy.

We posted on Fotolog the third party,

a lot of people came and it was a mess.

Everyone wanted to know the shed.

It had become the shelter

for the under-aged rejected from clubs.

People started to call me "the little dude from the shed".

And I had a motto:

"What happens in the shed, stays in the shed”.

Yes. It was my little Tijuana.

We had to swear Arnaldo that we wouldn't be as many anymore.

It also took much more money.

Quite a huge rent this time...

-Quite huge? -Quite huge.

Quite huge was the mess you guys did the last time.

-So, you forgot! - It was nothing...

This is my insurance, in case I lose my job because of you guys.

-Am I clear? -Of course. Done.

Who invited the hippies?

No idea, but I wonder who invited Ramiro.

Hit

What's up?

How are you doing?

All good?

You removed the piercing! It's much better this way.

You look different too. You changed something.

No. I didn't.

Wait! You removed that awful mole from your face!

Shut up!

No matter if you're mean to Ramiro,

he'll always be nice to you.

He's the perfect guy.

Everything about him makes me feel

the most flawed person ever.

-How's everything going? -Fine!

Quite a jag you and your little friends put together!

-Are you surprised? -I actually am. Congrats.

There she is.

I told you she's real.

I didn't make her up.

And she's very pretty!

-Hi! -Hi, let me introduce you.

Maria, Fran. Fran, Maria.

Unlike Paul, my friends hadn't met Maria.

I didn't want to share her with anyone.

OK. That last phrase sounded a bit psycho.

First I'm going to say a very important thing.

What does it take for a party to be a party?

Drugs? No. Women? Maybe...

...but the most important thing is that Zabo must be there.

Get out of here!

Listen... I'll take a leak. Hold this for me.

That bathroom is gross.

I didn't say I'm going to the bathroom.

Excuse me.

Hey! Hey!

-All good? -Sure. You?

-Fine. -So, what's up?

Fine.

Is it just me or he poached your chick?

I don't want to talk about it.

There are codes here, dude,

it freaks me out seeing you this way.

What way? I'm fine!

You're fine? -I'm great!

OK, then let's do something we both enjoy.

-Something that feels good. -No.

We can't beat the him into a coma, I swear I'd love to.

-What? -I have to think of Moni.

Her husband died, I can't take away her son too.

Imagine if we'd beat the crap out of him!

And what about the body?

Where would we throw it?

You'd make it in jail, because you're tough.

I'd be dead in a sec. Forget it.

OK, let's not talk about that asshole anymore.

I came to fix myself a drink and you started talking about him.

-OK, we're going to do something. -Like what?

We're going to leave this bar and get to dance until we fall.

-OK. Let's do that. -OK. Who'll start?

Whatever. Let's go!

For the rest of the party

I took care of drinking everything that helped me pretend

I hadn't died that night.

I was the soul of the party.

No one could guess I didn't want to be there.

I did what I do best; pretending that I'm having a good time,

pretending I'm at ease,

pretending I'm not in love with her.

Pretending.

Do you remember the photo that Paul gave to me?

The one of Kurt Cobain and the headline:

"The worst crime is pretending"?

I should serve a life sentence.

You should make a list

with the features that your ideal person should have.

Like the list for groceries?

Yes, like the groceries!

But what for?

How can I explain it?

Being in love is like being super high.

In other words, you're groggy,

but if you're with the right person you don't have a bad trip.

When you're drunk your similes are a real shit.

Don't be an ass, you know what I mean.

No, because my ideal person is Maria.

-No! -Yes.

-No! -Yes.

No! I'm telling you! Maria and you were the same.

-Precisely. -No. No way.

Trust me, if Maria liked you back...

...you'd find it boring.

-OK! So I'm boring! -That's not what I'm saying, Zabo!

Yes, you are! Because if we're the same,

and being with her would have been boring,

-then I'm boring. -Focus!

-Focus, Zabo! Focus, Zabo! -Focus, Zabo!

That's right!

What I'm trying to say is that the ideal person,

gets you to do things you'd never do for anyone.

I mean...

...love is anything but boring.

Am I clear?

Yes.

I'll tell you my favorite love song if you tell me yours.

You don't need to ask my favorite song to tell yours.

Wow, dude, you're such a sourpuss!

I don't have one, I don't get them.

They remind me of my sister's shitty music.

It's clear you've never made out in a Boom Boom Kid concert

listening to “Pei pa koa...

I hate people who make out in concerts.

One: We must share music taste;

Two: She must like to go to concerts,

pubs, home parties,

but not clubs;

Three: she must have a style;

Four: she must laugh at my jokes,

even when they're lame;

Five: she must not feel uncomfortable with silence;

Six: she must not have a bad vibe, enough with mine;

Seven: she must have experienced things...

...no...

...she must have lived things that she wasn't supposed to,

those things should have made her stronger,

but still somehow naive.

I'm done.

You're done with what?

-The list. -Ah, so?

Who is the lucky girl?

No one. They all seem to lack something.

What about Maria?

Maria lacks it too.

Someone will come eventually.

Someone always does, right?

Now move. I feel like hugging something.

Don't dare to have a boner while you sleep

or I'll wake the crap out of you.

-You're such an ass! No way! -I mean it.

You'd actually love that I had a boner.

Fucking Christ!

I know who meets all the requirements!

Repeat after me:

"My ideal girl cannot be a boy”.

"My ideal girl cannot be a boy”.

"My ideal girl cannot be a boy”.

"My ideal girl cannot be a boy”.

"My ideal girl cannot be a boy”.

Paul would know what to tell me,

besides he was gay.

Twice useful.

In lack of Paul...

...Agustin is a friend from my primary school.

We used to jerk off to his dad’s porn magazines.

Once he confessed to me that he was in love with me.

I didn't feel the same and, to avoid any trouble,

introduced him to Paul.

They had a couple of dates and remained friends.

Is it me or you are even more a sissy than last time I saw you?

That's how your dad likes it.

Our relationship was never the same again

and I can't blame him.

Have you been to the cemetery?

No. Have you?

No. Neither have I. Is it wrong?

Committing suicide is wrong.

Yes.

My last talks with Paul were quite dark.

Mine too.

He asked me how I pictured heaven.

Same here.

And what did you tell him?

That I don't care, because we fags don't go to heaven.

He told me that heaven should be a festival

with all his favorite bands.

Go figure...

But you didn't call me to talk about Paul.

No.

I called you to talk about you.

I mean, not you, but...

...being like you.

Like me how? Pretty? Smart? Nice?

No. A fag.

Ah!

Let's just say, hypothetically, that I like a guy.

Don't laugh.

Does it mean I'm gay?

Do you have the hots for this guy...

I -No! ...hypothetically?

No!

Hypothetically gross!

Then no. You're not into boys.

You have feelings for this guy. It's not the same thing.

OK. What do I do?

Hypothetically?

Hypothetically.

You have two options;

the first one is talking to him and see what happens.

Maybe you're lucky and he's so confused as you are.

What if he doesn't feel the way I do?

You won't be friends anymore.

Look at us.

OK. You said I had two options.

The other one is to give it a try.

A try?

You don't know yet if you're into guys

or it's just this guy you like.

My advise is go, be with a guy, and see how you feel.

If it's not your thing, there's your answer.

What if it is my thing?

Then I'll welcome you to the pink side of the force.

I'm sorry I disappeared.

-It's all right. Don't do it again. -I won't.

Besides, now I want to know the end of this soap opera.

Hypothetical soap opera.

-Super hypothetical soap opera. -Super hypothetical.

Tomas.

Hey!

I've been calling you the whole weekend. What's up?

I thought something happened to you.

Something?

You were upset about Freddy and Maria.

And since someone killed himself,

if I don't answer the phone, I've probably killed myself too?

How about you answer to me? Are you OK or not?

I'm great.

Good!

Next time, pick up the phone. OK?

The first option of Agustin's plan is out of the question.

Once Paul pretended to be a student at my school

just to enter and tell me an idea.

Which is the highest place we can go to?

- I don't know... my terrace? -Let's go.

Where are you going?

Where are the stairs?

Over there, you freak!

Hey, you're climbing with the sandwiches.

-Come on up! -Hey! The sandwiches!

-Come! -Are you kidding me?

Come! Look at this view!

-That's the whole point? -Yes.

Paul wanted me to overcome my fear of heights

50 we could ride together the roller coaster.

You don't need to go so high.

I was so jealous of him seeing all Parque Chacabuco from above!

No climbing, no sandwiches.

Come up, dude!

And now he can see it all.

Winter break is over.

I have to take again the exams for the courses I failed

and meet my mates again...

...and Tomas.

I've been dodging him.

Trying to have the least possible contact.

Yes!

Well done, Zabito! Way to go!

Very well!

Thanks for your answers, Camilo.

I promise I won't mess with you ever again.

-Did you mess with me? -No. Of course not.

The past is gone. Forget it.

I owe you one.

You've had done the same for me, right?

Of course! But then we'd both have failed the exam.

That's true.

How about hi? We hadn't slept together.

You wish we had.

You didn't attend the exam. What happened?

Something's wrong with you.

Nothing's wrong with me, Tomas.

When you stop playing the fool and tell me what happened to you

I'll tell you why I didn't attend the exam.

Go to your place, dude.

He was right. I'd have loved sleeping with him.

I miss him all the time.

B!

But I don't have Paul, Fran nor Maria anymore,

they left me alone and I survived.

Why wouldn't I survive without Tomas?

Without being asked, Ramiro volunteered to keep me distracted.

He does not intend to replace Tomas,

but he's determined to be my new best friend.

You can't overthink absolutely everything.

-Why not? -Because!

Look at your mom.

She thought she'd be married her entire life, and now...

OK, but don't you have any plans for the future?

No. I think I'll die young.

-Come on, don't be an ass! -I mean it.

It's some kind of certainty I feel.

Maybe that's why I don't give a fuck about the future.

Nicolas...

...I strictly forbid you to die.

You already have my blessing.

I told something similar to Paul once,

and look how he ended up.

There's no point in giving too much thought

to things we can't control.

But it's not pointless to try and control what we can.

I never thought I would get along so fine with a guy like him.

He looks so perfect...

End it.

Whenever I see him my mind goes...

Dummy.

I don't understand why you're so eager to die young.

That's not what I said.

I said I feel I will die young

because a little voice inside me says: "There's no time"

twenty four hours a day.

That's why this year I wanted to start writing.

You should start sharing your secrets with your friends,

with the real people,

instead of writing it in that sissy diary you have.

It's not a diary, you ass.

Are we going to Camila's today?

- I can pick you up with the car. -You have a car?

Actually... my dad does.

-Do you have a license? -Do you want a ride or not, dude?

Sure.

Watch out, beast!

Hey! Are you crazy?

- I headed to the ball. -What ball?

I suspended students for less than that.

Go ahead, then!

Do me a favor, Ramiro, go change.

And drop the attitude!

Class is dismissed.

Go to the locker room.

This is just bullshit.

Ramiro passed anyway.

It has nothing to do with school.

Didn't you see?

Ramiro did not even turn to see if he was OK.

It must be something worse.

-Bye, boys, have a nice weekend! -Bye.

What's up? Hey...

...what got into you?

Hey, you!

Why don't you tell the guys? They want to know.

OK, I sort of jumped ahead.

Why don't you tell them what happened between us?

What happened between us? Everything happened.

It all starts at Camila's party.

Tomas and I will come across outside school for the first time.

After the winter break, I've tried to avoid the parties he attend,

so I won't get drunk and end up saying anything.

-How are you? -Good!

-What took you so long? -We couldn't find a parking spot.

Again, Ramiro?

Come in.

I'll get drunk enough to shove my ego up my ass,

and apologize to Tomas.

I hope he'll be high enough to forgive me.

Hi! All good?

Hi you! Some shirt you got! Are you wearing it for me?

Ramiro lent it to me.

Your new little friend?

We've attended the same school for 4 years.

So are you dancing with him or with me?

It depends on who plays the man and the woman.

Clearly I'm the man, I'm taller than you.

What's up? Won't you greet me?

What's up, friend? All good?

I wish I was confident and not scared to talk.

To stand before you and hear your denial,

And keep having fun

But I can't.

Look at this asshole.

So he brought me just to have a ride.

Realize that I am here.

Do you practice to ignore me?

Hey! What's up, friend?

-Are you two years old? -Yes, I am!

When you have a problem come and tell me,

you don't need new little friends.

-And that one? -Florencia?

-Aha. -What?

Pretty.

You procrastinate endlessly, dude.

Though I'd enjoy some laughs watching you bounce.

-Is it a bet? -As you like it.

I'll be back in a sec.

I'll be right back.

So you like The Ramones?

Well, you're really perceptive...

Do you have "Loco live"?

Yes. I got it in Parque Rivadavia.

Would lend it to me? I want to make a copy.

I've tried to download it but it keeps buffering...

...lend it to me.

Dude I've never since you in my life.

OK! That's really uncool.

What are you doing?

Enough party for me. I'm leaving.

Call me, so you lend me the record...

...grumpy.

I'm super tired and I have tons to study.

-Great house. -Thanks!

-We'll be back. -See you!

Was this always delicious?

I love the sugar in my palate.

Arggg!

Guys, have you seen Tommy?

I think he's upstairs.

I'm sorry to interrupt you. Have you seen Ramiro?

Ramiro is outside.

He's super wasted and talking to Lucho

because he wants to drive the car.

Why didn't you take his keys?

Because the asshole put them under his pants.

OK.

Come on! Do it!

It's OK. I'll handle it.

Pussy!

-Come on! -Hey!

Come with me. Come.

Get in the car.

-Are you letting me in, for real? -Yes!

I want to see you ruin your annoying perfect future

-Get in. -You're an asshole.

And you're a jerk.

I wasn't getting in

I just wanted that asshole to ask me nicely!

- I don't like to be bossed around. -It's 8 AM, keep it down.

I'm tired. I want to go home.

Let's take a hired car, I'll leave you at your place.

Then you wait for me to take the bus and I go home.

Happy?

No way I'm waiting for you to take the bus, moron!

You don't weigh 40 pounds, dude!

No, I weight almost 200.

-You look a bit nervous... -Cut the crap!

...are you OK?

Hey, Nico...

...listen...

...I'm going to kiss you now, OK?

Please don't...

...don't look disgusted or...

...Fun away, or anything.

Just let yourself go...

-There's my bus. -...let yourself go.

There's my bus. Sorry. I can't.

What? Why?

One, please.

Oh! You scared me, dude!

What happened?

I'm not a mind reader, Lucho. If you don't talk...

I wonder if you're very naive or a bit stupid.

What did I do?

-Tina... -Who?

...the girl who asked you for a record at the party.

Yes. What?

She was asking me about you.

So? What's the problem?

You know, everyone can download music.

So?

It's not about music, dummy. She wants you to call her.

You think so?

Are you a virgin?

Are you a comedian?

Besides I don't have her number, forget it.

-I do. -Really?

Yes, but you owe me one.

Speaking of which... somebody owes me a talk.

Thanks.

-What's the matter? -What am I supposed to do?

-About what? -About your feelings for me.

What feelings for you, dude?

You tried to kiss me at the bus stop, Ramiro.

Then you were even drunker than I, dude! You tripped!

No way!

Better then, else you'd be the second guy who falls for me

and statistics would be pushing me to become a fag.

Listen dude, if I fell for a guy he'd be handsome,

not a rat face like you.

You're so funny!

Let's go.

Hello.

Hi, it's Zabo, Lucho's friend. You asked me for a record.

I see, Grumpy Ramones Fan.

Yes, I'm calling you for the record. I have it here.

It took you a while to call. What happened?

There's an explanation, but it's not very rational.

How come?

It involves UFOs.

You dummy! What are you doing now?

Nothing. Why?

Independence is a bit hard for me.

I work in a literary coffee, in Palermo.

They don't pay much,

but I don't want to ask my dad for money.

Some tourists give good tips, but forget about the locals!

They don't drop a coin.

I spend the rest of the time

taking care of my nephew and studying Literature.

Literature?

Yes, [ study at Buenos Aires University.

I'd love to be a writer.

Being able to put into words all I think.

But every time I try I get frustrated,

I'm a mess.

What about you? Any girlfriend?

Not really.

Is there a girlfriend or not?

Does my hand count?

Gross!

You're silly.

Mateo and I have been dating for a year, a year and a half.

He's older than 1. Soon he'll graduate in film making.

I never pictured myself being in a relationship for so long.

No way.

Besides we constantly argue.

And where is that Mateo guy?

He's by the countryside, working in a film.

He'll be back in a week.

And what does he think about having strangers at your place?

He doesn't think anything because he doesn't know.

And you're not a stranger, you are Grumpy Ramones Fan.

OK.

Maybe when we return my record we find some concert to attend.

-May I ask you a question? -Sure.

-What's your real name? -Nicolas.

But no one calls me that way...

.well someone does.

Used to, actually.

But Nicolas is nice, better than Zabo.

-Bye Nico. -Bye.

Uh! You scared me, dude!

What's up?

If I don't run into you at the bus

I only get to see you at school.

Can you stop doing this?

-Why? Are you having a boner? -Stop.

Now you have a girlfriend to hug.

Listen, Nicolas...

Don't call me Nicolas, you're not my mom to nag me.

But I am going to nag you.

What's wrong with you?

I thought that after Camila's everything was fine.

Everything's great.

-Great... -Yes.

Great... OK.

Keep telling it to yourself maybe you'll start to believe it.

Hi.

Why didn't you answer before?

The cell phone was at the bottom of my backpack.

OK. What are you doing tonight?

I'll have the house just for me.

Are you coming?

OK.

Nice flowers.

They're great, right?

It's tastes kind of citric,

and the first drag hits your brain.

I had never seen these drawings, dude.

I drew most of them high.

I lied to you.

About?

About everything.

Don't make me ask each word like Lucho does.

I remember Saturday morning.

I'm not an idiot.

I just... I had drunk a lot and...

...anyway I remember the whole situation...

...that shock of..

...you getting on the bus...

...Me...

...standing there, clueless...

...there's...

...there's something I can't get off my mind...

What's that?

The way you looked at me.

What way?

As if you wanted it too, Nicolas.

Cut it off, Ramiro. You're projecting!

Cut it off, Ramiro. You're projecting!

-Come on. -Don't touch me, fucking fag!

Nico...

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Please forgive me.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Please forgive me.

-I freaked out. Sorry. - don't know what's going on.

I don't understand.

I don't want to mess up with you. I swear.

I don't want to mess up with you.

I'm sorry. I don't want to be weird. I'm weird.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry...

Remember there's no bus or anything to save you here.

So... do I like boys or it's just Ramiro I like?

And Tomas...

...and Tina.

Sorry, sorry, sorry!

I'm sorry! I was with my nephew. I'm super late!

Relax, it's OK.

Relax, it's OK.

I've heard Boom Boom Kid a hundred times, don't worry.

Did you wait for me long?

About 17 years.

I wasn't that late!

-Now I get it! -What?

Why every band has a love song.

Making out in concerts is great.

-You never did? -Shut up.

Shall we?

Anyway, this is ending.

Your house or mine?

Mine.

Great! Mine was not an option. I was just bluffing.

-OK, let's go to mine then! -Let's go.

The first time we fucked was great.

And I didn't mind that she was with someone.

And I didn't mind that she was with someone.

The second one was spectacular

and I understood I'd have to share her.

I'll see you tomorrow then.

I can't tomorrow, Nico.

Mateo is coming back... remember?

Mateo is coming back... remember?

-But we'll talk. -OK. Bye.

Bye.

The third time, her boyfriend turned into a real person

and I realized I wanted Tina just for me.

1 tried to pay more attention to Ramiro.

" Tried” are the key words.

I remembered how good I was as a kid, playing hide and seek.

Any place would do to escape the boring classes.

Any place would do to escape the boring classes.

I couldn't let him go.

Like a new T-shirt you love and want to wear all the time.

All was fun.

I love you.

Until it stopped being so.

Shouldn't we go back to class?

No.

At least this time I didn't say: "Sorry, I can't”.

I feel all sort of things with Tina.

I can be with her for hours and never feel bored or uneasy.

I can be with her for hours and never feel bored or uneasy.

Ramiro is like a lent hand for a jerk off.

I just feel like being with him when I'm horny or lonely.

-Shall we? -OK.

Installing pipes.

Would you lend me your notes from “pipes”?

I failed it, so...

...you can have the notepad.

It's all yours.

Stop drinking that, dude! You'll get sick!

-Do you think so? -Come on, Nicolas!

Drop it, silly. It'll pierce your stomach.

If you'd have remembered to buy what you should buy,

we wouldn't be improvising this shit.

Hyper!

I love you.

Hey, dummy, I'm telling you I love you.

-I heard you. -50?

-I heard you. -50?

Thanks.

No.

This... what does it mean for you?

No idea! I try not to think, so I can enjoy it.

Otherwise I'd be overthinking like you do.

Well, this is important for me.

You are important.

And you are important to me.

-So? -So what?

-So? -So what?

Nothing. Leave it.

You can't ask me to feel the same as you at the same time.

You can't ask me to feel the same as you at the same time.

I never asked you to fall for me,

you can't demand me as if I owed you,

that's not how it works.

Am I clear?

-You're so cute when you're angry! -Are you kidding me?

I'm going home.

Come on, Nico!

Hey! What's up?

Hey! What's up?

What are you doing?

-I'm jerking you off. -Stop!

Someone can see us.

Do you like it with both hands?

Stop! You're hurting my dick, dude!

Don't you want me to lend you a hand?

Don't you want me to lend you a hand?

Isn't it what you wrote in your fucking diary, asshole?

Isn't it what I am?

Eh?

Go on, guys, that's the attitude!

Go on, guys, that's the attitude!

Good job!

Good! Good!

Zamorano..

...what the deal?

If you want to pass, you have to play.

Move! Come on!

Move! Come on!

From the center.

Hey!

Are you crazy?

- I headed to the ball. -What ball?

- I headed to the ball. -What ball?

I suspended students for less than that.

Go ahead, then!

Do you see what I meant when I said "All happened”,

Playing.

That's all I've been doing lately.

-You'll call, won't you? -Yes, of course.

-You'll call, won't you? -Yes, of course.

-Will you? -1 always do.

I just play hide and seek with Tina

since Mateo has no filming to keep him busy.

What are you doing out here?

I play to get the silent treatment from Ramiro,

he hasn't talked to me again since the gym class.

And Tomas...

...with him I just play it cool about him being with Florencia.

...with him I just play it cool about him being with Florencia.

I think I'm actually winning,

and as the saying goes...

...lucky in game just a Zabo in love.

...lucky in game just a Zabo in love.

Come to my place, Mateo is leaving early.

He's going to his brother's.

We'll have a couple of hours for us.

Hi.

-Hi. -Whom are you looking for?

Zabo.

Wrong house, pal.

No. I'm Zabo. I'm a friend of Tina's.

OK then, come in. She's in the shower.

-Excuse me. -Sure.

Tina takes long showers, so...

-Would you like some "mate"? -No, thanks.

Are you and Tina having lunch?

Yes.

I need to see her.

Why?

Problems with my boyfriend.

Problems with my boyfriend.

She gives great advice.

You came on time.

Usually you're never on time.

Apparently, today I am.

Love, [ was thinking...

...your friend was telling me he's not OK with his boyfriend.

Maybe I could introduce him to my brother.

Maybe I could introduce him to my brother.

We could have a double date...

I'm meeting him now. I'll check if he's still single.

No promises.

It could be a match. They both are uncool.

OK! I'd better be going, so you talk.

-Nice to meet you, Sebo. -Zabo.

-What? -It's Zabo.

Bye.

That was awkward.

I can't stand you. You know?

Why? What did I do?

You made me meet Mateo.

Now he's a real person, flesh and blood, and he's even nice.

OK, go fuck him then... Sebo.

OK, go fuck him then... Sebo.

So you're a comedian?

-You're the one with a boyfriend! -Shut up!

Can I rest easy that you're taking those pills?

Yes! I already told you so!

OK.

I support prevention above all things,

but honestly I never knew how your thing works.

"Our thing"?

Yes...

Your school is super expensive, don't they teach sexual education?

No.

-Can you tell? -Yes.

I wish Mateo didn't come back.

Or that he wanted us to break up.

Because I try, I swear,

but he gives me that dummy in love look

and I'm screwed. It's super hard.

Chill. Don't push yourself.

I can wait.

What do you mean?

That I don't mind being here until my time comes.

Your time?

What did I do?

Nothing. I did it.

I don't get it.

You don't get it because you're young.

Now age matters?

What are your feelings towards me, Nicolas?

Nicolas?

Are you my mom?

I asked you a question.

That's my business.

See? That's your 16 talking.

Anything I do or say

triggers your expectations over something that won't happen.

So it's my business too.

What are your feelings towards me?

Wait!

If you're in love or something like that, don't tell me.

Lie to me, because I don't want to stop seeing you.

Spending time with you is good for me.

I'm sorry Tina, but...

...I don't spend time when I'm with you.

For me it's quite the opposite.

The world stops turning each time you open that door.

I think that's the cheesiest thing I've ever said,

and yet the most real.

I don't want to pretend something else.

You'll have to leave then.

I know.

We'll always have Boom Boom Kid concerts.

Hello.

Wow! I missed your voice.

-Nico? -Yes. Please don't hung up.

What do you want?

I wanted to know how you're doing

maybe you felt like hanging out.

What's up, the chick dumped you?

Some piece of shit you are, dude...

No, I'm not calling you because Tina and I broke up.

I'll quote a contemporary writer, see if it rings a bell.

" Just feel like being with him when I'm horny or lonely."

Any bells, asshole?

Will you hold on to that shit for the rest of your life?

You know what? Basically, yes.

Bye, Zabo.

It's the first time he doesn't call me "Nico".

It kind of broke my heart.

I'm alone.

Being with someone lasted so little that I didn't get to brag.

Will you tell me what happened?

Paul's brother called me yesterday.

Aha.

He says he entered the PC

and found a file full of text files.

A couple of things are complete

and others are incomplete essays and stuff

that talk about you, about us,

about him and his family...

Here.

There's much about you.

I don't care.

I won't get anything from reading that.

-Come on, Zabo. - I don't want them.

Read them and call me when you're ready.

I'm cooking and the drugstore is about to close.

Would you be a darling and get my pills?

-What are you cooking? -Escalopes.

French fries or mashed potatoes on the side?

Rice.

In that case, they'll have to be Italian style.

I don't make deals with terrorists!

Maybe you can have a lime tea?

I mean, if you don't have pills...

Go, and buy some cheese too.

Is there a single person who likes December?

What I mean is there could be another Paul.

I've been reading about the contagion effect; it's terrible.

Exams, years assessments,

meeting people you don't like during the holidays,

and now there's also the first anniversary of Cromañon,

and Paul's death.

-...as if it was so easy. -What...

Living, Checho!

Everyday we lie to each other.

If we would really care we wouldn't let a friend lie to us.

At the slightest suspicion, we'd grab his arm,

look into his eyes, and tell him:

really, how are you?

Dude, I'll never get high with you ever again.

You always give me a bad trip.

Hello.

Hi, Nico.

Tina?

Yes. You had erased my contact?

I didn't want to call you drunk and your boyfriend to answer.

-Can you come home tomorrow? -Did something happen?

Yes, but I'd rather tell you tomorrow. OK?

I asked Santa for a new bestie since the one I had broke.

I'm kidding.

Happy new year, in case we don't get together.

I love you.

What are you doing here, Nico?

I said tomorrow, you have to leave.

- I was worried. -No! Leave now!

-Sebo! What a surprise! -I don't get it.

OK. You both, come in.

Come in!

That's it. I'll do it right away.

I didn't mean to scare you.

I just wanted to be sure,

because it could just be I was late...

...but...

I think this is a very delicate topic.

What is he doing here?

I'm pregnant.

-Don't say it... -And it could be...

-...don't say it! -...from either of you both.

What are we going to do?

We could wait until he's born.

If he's got the shape of a cork, he's mine,

if it's like a cotton swab, it's his.

Do you know how you'll terminate it?

I never said I would.

The topic was too new to have a rational discussion.

We would get together again after she saw the doctor.

Hi, Nico.

Hi, dad.

All good?

Super.

What happened to your eye?

Nothing, mom.

You have a bruise!

Imagine the other guy!

OK, I'll tell you. But don't judge me.

I think that...

What?

...that I got someone pregnant.

You did what?

I got someone pregnant.

I don't get it. Should I congratulate you?

-Are you happy? -No. I'm not.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Wait? I don't know.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

You never do, anyway.

What a jerk!

Are you and the girls going out?

I think so. Thanks, mom.

You're welcome. Your plate?

Just one, please.

-Just one? -Yes.

It's a year since Paul died.

I feel I'm dramatizing the exact same thing I lived,

without learning any lesson.

Hi.

I think you could read Paul's letters today.

We'll go to the cemetery on Monday, it'd be nice if you came.

What would be nice

is having no reason to go to the cemetery at age 16.

Bye.

Leave that computer

and come to dinner!

It's almost midnight and we must toast.

I was not on the computer.

It doesn't matter. Come have dinner with your family.

Do I serve you, honey?

Yes, but no tomatoes.

After midnight the gang got together.

We spent hours,

while the bottles we stole from our homes changed hands.

We all were older, stronger and less naive.

That's my end of the year assessment.

Oh, it's time.

I'll be back.

What's with him?

He went to buy a joint.

-That's great, dude! -Isn't it a great idea?

-Thanks! -He says that some guy's friend...

...brings him the package in a cab and leaves.

What?

A cab drops the package and leaves.

No way, dude! Really?

Yes.

Awesome, guys...

...this guy was too much!

What did he say?

He gave us some cookies.

-Way to go! -We'll start the year tripping!

This is great. We can't ask for more.

Let's see what we've got.

Paper, more paper...

...and cookies! Dude! These are actual cookies!

You're an ass! How can you buy to some random guy in a cab?

Everyone knows that scam, Checho!

And it was a lot of money!

-Shut up, you idiot! -OK!

Chill out! We've all been there.

But when we were in first year not in fourth!

Wait, it can happen when you're in fourth too...

...fourth year at dummy's school.

Wait!

Just what I need, Jumanji's midget making fun of me.

Wait, don't leave. Because...

...if you leave

there'll be no one here

for me to feel

I am dying with my broken heart

without you

I can't go on anymore.

Everyone! From the top!

...if you leave

there'll be no one here

for me to feel

I am dying with my broken heart

without you

I can't go on anymore.

Oh, please...

Are those any good?

Like every year,

we went to the beach for ten days.

During those days I tried to ref ax

and forget about all I'd had to deal with upon returning.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm leaving to the gynecologist.

Have you made a decision?

No. Not yet.

We'll do as you choose.

Just let me know if you need anything.

Thanks.

Good luck with that.

I knelt before my clippings and posters of musicians

to ask them for something to go wrong,

for the doctor to say that the pregnancy was not viable,

for a miscarriage,

for her to stumble, something...

Can you imagine the kind of shit you feel hoping for those things?

No. You can't.

Everything bothers me.

-What is "everything"? -Everything...

...life.

Are you angry with life?

You could say that.

Be careful then.

Why?

If you fight with life you make friends with death.

This summer I spent more time

with my friends from school than any other.

I can't think anymore.

Camila's house was the headquarter.

Checho, Lucho and I almost lived there.

I feel like throwing up.

Tomas joined us after breaking up with Florencia.

Can I have some of yours?

This is how you get drugs, people,

through official dealers or authorized shops.

No way! This is too much!

You son of a bitch.

-Good morning, Snorlax. -What time is it?

-It's... 2 am. -Right.

Have I slept the entire day?

First we couldn't calm you down,

then we couldn't wake you up.

Don't you remember anything?

Where is Tomas?

He's in the patio and he is weird.

What did you do to him?

I was looking for you.

Did I do or say something yesterday?

You gave me quite a hard time,

but I got used to it. Relax.

If it's any consolation,

giving hard times to people I love

was my expertise during the whole year.

As long as it's not on purpose...

...I stand by you.

I'll wait for you.

I'm your friend

and I know the friendship we shared will be back

. I just...

...I need to find a way

for you to tell me what happens to you.

Do you want us to go through Paul's situation again?

I don't want anything to happen to you or anyone.

Chill! Why would it?

Yesterday at the party you told me

you didn't kill yourself because Paul got there first.

-Fuck you, dude! -That was a joke!

OK, yes.

But jokes hide truths, what if this is a truth?

Do I have to wait until then?

I won't let my friends go through the same situation twice,

if that worries you.

No.

What worries me is that you use us as an excuse,

us and Paul...

...In order to be here, breathing.

If you want to be alive, do it for you,

not because we don't want you dead.

If I promise I start telling you what happens to me,

do you promise you won't make me feel a bad friend?

Tina, what happened? Are you OK?

I had a miscarriage.

I'm sorry.

Why do you apologize to me?

I wanted you to know, 50 you can move on with your life.

I won't say I'm happy but...

It was the best option, right?

I guess.

When was it?

This morning.

But... why did you call me yesterday?

January 30, 2006.

It's crazy but, although I hardly see my parents,

I need to know they are there

having "mate” or arguing, in order to calm down,

to keep my world from falling apart.

I've been calling Tina since she told me about the miscarriage,

but there's no answer.

She must have caught it from Ramiro.

We heard they'll demolish the shed, so the guys and I

gave our farewell to the place

that allowed us be under age and have fun as we liked.

Something that seemed forbidden after Cromañon.

We celebrated being alive,

being young...

...I'll be 17 next week.

I find it hard to say bye to my teenager me.

It's time to talk to Tomas,

and have the end of all I've been telling you on the other side.

(Whispers) Are you ok?

Wish me luck.

I turned 17 yesterday.

I didn't want to celebrate it, so I turned off the phone.

Today I found everyone's messages.

Everyone's but Tomas', Tina's and Ramiro's.

They must have forgot.

I'm not a memorable person.

My mind plays once and again that moment when Tomas

tells me the best will be to take some distance...

The best will be to take some distance, Zabo.

...50 I can see him again as a friend.

The best will be to take some distance, Zabo.

That distance...

The best will be to take some distance, Zabo.

He felt sorry for me.

Sorry.

Mom entered and asked me what was happening to me.

Finally! Someone noticed it!

What?

I was just about to open my heart and tell her everything.

Talk about it all.

Why this mess?

I told you to let me know if you have dirty clothes.

Talk.

That shit everyone asks me to do.

I read that people can die from a broken heart.

How much does it take?

Tomas and Florencia made up again.

Happy Valentine's to them.

P.S: You can all go fuck yourselves.

Zabito...

...do you remember when we joked by mail with:

"if you're reading this, I'm probably already dead"?

I know that making the joke now is a bit creepy,

but I can't help it.

Sometimes I feel I know you from a previous life.

Great T-shirt.

-Paul. -Zabo.

Am I in love with you?

We're gonna end up like this.

I almost told you once...

...but I couldn't.

Today I felt the need not to exist anymore.

I want to hold control over the final stop in my story.

Writing to say goodbye is weird, but I don't feel that duty with you.

And I know you'll understand sooner or later.

I don't know if you'll ever read this,

but if you do, please remember the following:

ending with the pain is up to you, not to others.

Don't get me wrong...

...I would never tell you that suicide is a way out.

I'm just telling you to deal with your problems,

face them and don't sink.

Don't you sink like I did.

Learn to ask for help on time.

Learn to talk about what happens to you.

There's a lot of people who love you.

You matter to them, although you think otherwise.

Sometimes sadness is so deep

that we can't see that.

Excuse me for not letting you ask "why”,

which you enjoy so much.

Paul.

Six months later

ADOLESCENCE

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK

THE WORST CRIME IS PRETENDING

MEMORIES OF A TEENAGER

It's all here.

We have to do something with this.

Something like what?

Publish it.

It might help somebody not to feel so lonely.

We have to publish it.

Experience.

Nicolas and I used to discuss a lot about that topic.

Nico would say that we live the same thing once and again

because we humans easily forget the past.

We will never learn,

but instead we can teach others not to go through the same thing.

I'm not proud about knowing my son through these drafts.

Teenagers don't overreact, they scream,

those are screams for help, screams of anguish, pain, impotence.

They scream their own way

...come and tell me,

as they can.

You don't need new little friends.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

You never do, anyway.

I think I'll die young.

Nicolas...

...I strictly forbid you to die.

The best will be to take some distance.

Are you angry with life?

There are thousands of kids like Paul and Zabo,

who must be somewhere going through the same.

Maybe one of them is your friend, or someone you love

So, if today you asked that friend how he was doing,

and felt he was lying or hiding in a joke,

don't hesitate, hug him and ask again.

Show him you really care about what he has to say.

You don't want to miss that chance.

I'm speaking from experience.

And while we're at it let me ask you, on the other side,

how are you, really?

Reganeet a fo seiromem

MEMORIES OF A TEENAGER

SHOT IN BUENOS AIRES. @ SOMBRACINE SR. 2019

THE CHARACTERS AND FACTS PICTURED IN THIS MOVIE ARE FICTITIOUS.

ANY RESEMBLANCE WITH TRUE PEOPLE, LIVE OR DEAD OR WITH REAL FACTS

IS PURE COINCIDENCE. THE NAMES AND OCCUPATIONS OF THE CHARACTERS

WERE CREATED BY THE IMAGINATION OF THE AUTHORS.