Original subtitles

[ Maniacal laughter ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Eerie music plays ]

♪♪

Look at us. Having fun outside the hospital.

Would Dr. Wolf ever take you to a haunted house?

Not one that peddles in harmful and outdated tropes

for cheap thrills.

I mean, look at where we are...

At a super fun team-building activity.

Let's give Charlie credit for trying.

I'm just tired of the narrative

that mental health care is scary.

Stop being such a buzzkill, Dr. Kinney.

I think you're supposed to be something other than yourself

for Halloween.

Alright. We're supposed to be team-building.

I'm just saying that the narrative is always the same.

It's images of padded rooms and straitjackets.

They don't make it easier for people to ask for help.

Okay, but maybe you're just a little scared.

Ooh-ooh! [ Laughter ]

Alright. You shut up, Clyde.

-[ Laughs ] -Sorry, Bonnie.

[ Maniacal laughter ]

Ooh.

-[ Grunts ] -[ All gasp ]

Checking in?

[ Maniacal laughter ]

Time for your medicine! [ Dramatic note plays ]

Oh!

[ Maniacal laughter, drill whirring ]

You know what? I get your point.

[ Chainsaw whirring, maniacal laughter ]

Oh, I do not like that.

[ All screaming ]

Go back, go back!

[ Breathing heavily, laughing ]

You have mirror touch in a hall of mirrors.

Is this like symbolism, Dr. Markus?

Yeah. It represents your vanity.

Dr. Anderson to Lobotomy.

Dr. Anderson to Lobotomy.

Jacob?

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Guys?

[ Eerie note plays ]

[ Door creaks ]

[ Maniacal laughter ]

I guess it's just us.

Dream team.

I'm gonna go find Ericka...

[ Dramatic note plays ]

-There's no going back... -There's no going back...

Dana?

Where are you? Can you hear me?

Where are you?

Where am I?

[ Thudding noise ] [ Gasps ]

Going down?

[ Maniacal laughter ]

[ All screaming ]

No, no, no, no. Let me out. [ Banging on glass ]

I'm scared, I'm scared. Let me out!

Let me out.

Please let me out! Let me out!

Let me out, let me out!

Kinney, Kinney, Kinney! Breathe! Just breathe!

It's okay, okay?

I got you. Okay? [ Maniacal laughter ]

You're okay. You're okay.

[ Laughter continues ]

Happy Halloween!

[ Maniacal laughter ]

♪♪

[ Choir singing in Latin ]

[ Knock on door ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Dad?

♪♪

[ Insects chirping ]

♪♪

[ Dog barking in distance ]

[ Eerie music plays ]

♪♪

[ Breathing shakily ]

Dr. Taylor to Pediatrics.

Dr. Taylor to Pediatrics.

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Starting compressions.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

He was fine this morning.

I-I-I called him.

Oh, my God.

Is he gonna be okay?

30-year-old male found unresponsive in an ice bath,

pulse less,

downtime at least 30 minutes...

do you want to call it?

Uh, not until he's back to normal temperature!

I need warm blankets!

...Diagnostic Imaging.

C.T. tech to Diagnostic Imaging.

Unh-unh. No. No costumes, Patch Adams.

You can collect said contraband after you clock out.

The last thing a patient needs

is Tinker Bell diagnosing them with meningitis.

Nurse Carter, uh, do you have the latest

on Jorge Torres' vitals?

I need regular updates.

Spit it out, Estelle.

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

Why is Nurse Silva out here

trying to kill everyone's Halloween spirit?

Heard that, Dana.

I think she wanted you to.

Oh, no...

That is the third person to die in Room 313 this week.

The curse continues.

Well, let's take it out of rotation for now.

Keep it on. I don't want patients in the hallway.

Curses aren't real. -Well, good,

'cause I need to move Jorge Torres.

So let's put him in 313. [ Eerie note plays ]

Jorge Torres is fine where he is.

Copy that.

We'll let the room breathe for a beat.

Dr. Joshua Nichols?

Yeah. How can I help?

You've been served.

[ Soft music plays ]

Um, what was that about curses not being real?

[ Scoffs ]

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

I'm sorry. Do my eyes deceive me?

Are you actually working on Halloween?

I thought this is a sacred holiday.

It was sacred.

Morris and I used to love

throwing our Monsters and Martinis parties,

showcasing our fabulous couples costumes.

I'm in mourning.

I should have remembered that.

But you stopped inviting me to those.

Because she refused to wear a costume.

Anyway, I'd rather be here keeping busy

than wallowing at home, eating fun-sized candy bars.

Well, I bet next year you'll be back

to wearing a fabulous couple's costume

with someone who deserves you.

I'm not holding my breath.

Sir, just try to breathe.

The medic said that he was dead when they arrived,

but t-t-that's not possible, okay?

[ Breathes shakily ] I refuse to believe that.

I'm sorry, Dr. Nash, can I help?

Middle-aged man found by his assistant,

pulse less and hypothermic in an ice bath.

Warmed him back to room temp.

Because, you know, you're not really dead

until you're warm and dead.

Uh, last pulse check?

Two minutes ago.

No cardiac motion, confirmed on ultrasound.

Okay. Uh, I'll look into this.

Okay, okay. Thank you.

Hold compressions please.

I think we're gonna have to call it.

[ Grunts ]

Okay, we got a live one. All hands!

Dr. Nash, your persistence paid off.

Oh, my God. He did it!

He beat death!

I need another I.V.! Now, please!

Normal pupil reaction.

Okay, I'd like you to lift your leg up,

put the opposite heel on your knee,

and draw a straight line down to your shin.

What's this about?

This is a test of cerebellar function.

The coordination in your lower body looks good.

In fact, I'd say you're in pretty decent shape,

considering that for an hour or so this morning,

you were essentially dead.

Did you hear that, Thomas?

Nothing more validating than impressing a doctor.

That may be so, but I am still concerned

that your loss of consciousness could have been neurological.

Uh, can you recall what happened before you passed out?

Why were you in an ice bath?

I do a cold plunge every morning

just to stimulate the vagus nerve.

So this morning I was sitting in the bath for a minute or so,

and then everything went blank.

Next thing I know, I'm here.

I'd love your professional opinion.

Do you think the cold shocked my heart into arrhythmia?

I heard about that happening to a guy in Sweden. -Sweden.

Uh, well, we're not ruling anything out yet,

but I think that's unlikely considering your EKG readout.

Yeah. See? That makes sense.

I have a heart of a 24-year-old. And a penis, too.

Do you time the lengths of your nighttime erections, Dr. Wolf?

Mine can last three hours.

Uh. I'm sorry. How is this relevant?

It's a sign of cardiovascular health.

Speaking of which, what is my blood pressure?

119 over 78. Stone-cold normal.

-[ Groans ] -Not for me

I'm usually below 110.

That's why I'm feeling spiky.

Is there dextrose in that solution?

I'm on a no-sugar diet, guys.

We will look into that with the nursing staff.

Um, have you always been so attuned to your health?

Oh, we are obsessed with data.

Part of my job is to help Cyrus keep track of everything.

We log his body fat percentage, VO2 Max,

hsCRP, ALT, GGT, LDL-C, HDL-C...

Ooh. Sorry.

I hope that didn't constitute breaking my NDA.

Nonsense. We've earned bragging rights.

We're especially proud of my telomere length...

incredibly robust for my age.

Oh.

-Wow. -Mm-hmm.

A bio hacker? Like those tech billionaires?

It's not just billionaires. It's a whole subculture now.

These guys... and they typically are guys...

they believe that through diet, sleep, exercise,

supplements, and drugs,

that they can hack their bodies and live forever.

There's a lot of women who are into it, too.

And it's not necessarily about living forever.

Most people are focused on increasing their healthspan.

Basically the number of good, high quality years you get.

Imagine living your 80s the way most people live their 50s.

Well, you know that longevity is not a new fad.

From ancient Chinese emperors

who took mercury pills to Dark Age Europeans

searching the globe for the fountain of youth,

the quest for eternal life

is one of humanity's oldest pursuits.

I'm all for healthy lifestyle choices.

It's just the idea that anyone can beat death

isn't science, it's hubris.

We literally have a patient who just beat death.

For now. But if we want to keep him alive,

we have to figure out exactly what happened to him

in that ice bath.

Run every lab you can think of

while we find out more about Cyrus'... unique lifestyle.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Maybe go easy on the rum next time.

Eye, captain.

[ Laughs ]

[ Telephone rings ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hey! Sam.

-Mnh-mnh. Oh, no. -How's it going?

I-I don't want this doctor!

Please! -I'm not angling for another scan.

I just wanted to check in, see how you're doing.

What is it with you? Why are you so obsessed with me?

Obsessed?!

[ Laughing ] Oh, please. Don't flatter yourself.

I'm literally doing my job.

And you don't want to deal with me?

I'm pretty sure the last time you were here,

you were swinging an I.V. pole at me.

I don't want to deal with this patient!

[ Chuckles ]

Touché, Doc.

So what brings you in?

[ Soft music plays ]

Holidays can get a little lonely out there.

Any chance I can get an upgrade?

Yeah, I got you.

Rapid response, code 2.

Rapid response, code 2.

I got a call about a psych consult.

This one's a barrel of laughs.

Good luck, Dr. Pierce.

[ Telephone rings, indistinct conversations ]

[ Eerie remix of "Pop Goes the Weasel" plays ]

♪♪

[ Gurgles ]

No. Mnh-mnh.

Absolutely not. I do not do clowns.

[ Siren wailing in distance ]

[ Knock on door ]

Hey, has your team done a Glasgow Score

on Jorge Torres yet today?

Uh, I checked on him myself an hour ago.

Uh, there's no change since yesterday.

Oh, by the way, uh...

do you remember your patient, Sarah Kim?

Uh, I remember all my patients.

[ Chuckles ] Uh, but go ahead.

Her parents are suing Bronx General

over their hospital bills...

hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on tests...

all to prove that she wasn't pregnant?

Oh. The witches!

That was a really unusual case.

And it wasn't just Sarah Kim.

It was also all of her friends...

mass pseudocyesis. So fascinating.

Well, it's not enough to just consider our patients, Wolf.

We also have to consider their families.

What I cost her parents in tests,

I saved them in future therapy bills.

Also, Dr. Nichols, please know that... that all happened

before I was buttoned up.

That kind of fiscal profligacy would never happen today.

[ Knock at door ]

Dr. Wolf, I scheduled those 12 tests

you ordered for the hypothermic patient.

Thank you, Nurse Carter.

She is very bad with numbers.

I only asked for 10.

[ Sighs ]

I have to investigate this Sarah Kim case

because the board is expecting my report.

Just giving you a heads up,

should you need to defend yourself.

[ Eerie notes play ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

♪♪

Dr. Wolf, we've been digging into Cyrus' lifestyle.

And for a non-athlete of his age, it's pretty hardcore.

He wakes up every day at 4:30.

He restricts his caloric intake,

and he works out six days a week.

We downloaded his smart ring data.

Unfortunately, he takes it off before the ice baths,

but he's been sleeping like a baby.

Sleep efficiency is off the charts.

So the healthiest man in New York

just happened to pass out in his daily ice bath.

And even though he tracks his every breath,

we can't figure out why? [ Cellphone buzzing ]

Uh, there's something we're not seeing.

Hang on. This might give us something.

His labs just came in.

Electrolytes are pristine,

T4 is normal, and metabolic panel is clear.

Yeah, but his hemoglobin. It's oddly high.

High as if he's living at altitude.

Or he's been doping.

Well, maybe the guy with the NDA will help us.

[ Groaning ]

Are you okay?

Oh, my God. -Alright, alright.

Let me get some help here.

I'm gonna get some water.

[ Weakly ] It's... It's Cyrus.

Easy. Just breathe.

Too... Too much blood.

Uh, what blood?

We need to check on Cyrus. Come on.

I got him.

Okay, buddy.

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

♪♪

I guess now we know what was in that cooler.

I'm almost done.

Hit the emergency call button

if he tries to harvest your organs.

Maybe don't stray too far.

No rest for the weary.

A sedentary life leads to early death.

If I could have a bowel movement standing up, I would.

Well, that I can't help you with.

Uh, your assistant fainted.

I'm assuming it was his blood in the bags.

Thomas read all the fine print.

He knows what he signed up for.

Well, the literature on the anti-aging effects

of transfusing young blood is dubious at best.

What literature are you reading?

Dr. Wolf, this could be

a mutually beneficial relationship.

I have as much to learn from you as you have to learn from me.

Our worlds have a lot of overlap.

Well, speaking of overlap,

we are running tests on Thomas right now.

If he has a blood-borne pathology

or a clotting disorder,

then that means you will, too.

Dr. Wolf, do you know how hard it is

to find a reliable assistant who's O negative

and has never been infected by cytomegalovirus?

Thomas' blood is...

-I don't eat grapes. -You shouldn't.

They're high in sugar and have no nutritional value.

Okay. Fair enough, but that is not my reason.

When I was in the second grade, I choked on one.

And before my teacher did the Heimlich,

I thought for sure I was gonna die.

That kind of fear always stays with you.

So now I don't eat grapes.

Cyrus, I'm curious...

what is your reason for all of this?

[ Siren wailing ]

10 years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

That's right.

I'm among the 1% of cases that impact men.

How's that for bad luck?

For two years, my whole entire life

became about "beating cancer."

Specialists, chemo, surgeries, radiation,

Reddit, support groups.

But do you know how I felt when they told me I was in remission?

Relieved?

Lost.

Like I didn't have a purpose anymore.

But, then, I had an epiphany.

I could take all the energy I used to fight cancer

and put it towards optimization.

Doctor, I can live forever.

And yet here you are.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Back in the hospital because you almost died.

Key word is "almost."

My job as your doctor is to prevent your death.

Our goals are aligned on that front.

Biohacking may be the reason

you went pulse less in an ice bath, Cyrus.

It could very well cause another episode.

No. Biohacking saved me.

But you keep avoiding grapes, Dr. Wolf.

I'm sure you'll outlive us all.

♪♪

How much trouble are we in?

Well, it depends on how well you can answer my questions

on this Sarah Kim case.

Starting with...

why was the head of neuro

involved in a case of phantom pregnancy?

Well, for starters,

he was really excited to have a case of mass hysteria.

He even made us a slides how.

And it got really wild when we learned

the girls were actually a coven of witches.

#Witchtok. I still follow them.

Lily got into Barnard, btdubs.

-Wow. -That's awesome.

-[ Laughs ] -So...

for a case of pseudocyesis, you ran, uh...

urine tests, Beta-HCGs... -Mm-hmm.

...ultrasounds on multiple patients...

A few pregnancy sticks could have done the job.

And based on what you've told me, this is...

[ Eerie music plays ] [ Muffled groan ]

♪♪

The curse!

-Uh... uh... -Dr. Nichols, you okay?

♪♪

[ Door closes ] -I respect people

who put their blood, sweat, and tears into their work.

But you took that very literally.

[ Chuckles ]

What do you think happened to Cyrus in that ice bath?

I would hate for him to die after all of your sacrifices.

Oh [chuckles] the... the transfusions aren't a sacrifice.

Uh, they're critical to Cyrus' work.

If my blood plays a role in maximizing longevity

without sacrificing quality of life,

well, then, I've done my part to help improve humanity.

You know, my granddad lived to be 100 years old.

And on his deathbed, he said it all went by so fast.

[ Soft music plays ]

You talk about quality of life,

but when was the last time

you popped open a great bottle of wine?

Or went to the beach and felt the sun on your skin?

Or ate a delicious chocolate-chip cookie?

It goes by fast, Thomas.

I get that you want to help Cyrus,

but you are going to pay a price in the process.

♪♪

Uh, wait.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Telephone ringing ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

♪♪

[ Wheezing noises in distance ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Ominous note plays ] -[ Gasps ]

Sorry. We didn't mean to startle you.

But we have an update.

Thomas' tests are clear.

His blood isn't what's making Cyrus sick.

I managed to get him to tell me

that Cyrus is on a low dose of Rapamycin.

That's an immunosuppressant.

That means whatever he has, his meds are making him worse.

Okay. Good work.

Thank you for the assist.

It's a... It's a tricky case,

and I could use your mirror touch.

Happy to be of service, Dr. Pierce.

Wait. What... What exactly are we dealing with?

'Cause I can sense that you're terrified,

and it's kind of making me terrified.

I'm fine.

He's just a patient.

Like any other patient.

Who also happens to be supercharged nightmare fuel.

I'm not here for my mirror touch, am I?

Dr. Markus, you are here

because I highly value your medical expertise

and your generally calm demeanor.

Also, to make sure I don't get murdered.

Why are all the lights off?

What in the world?

Hello?

[ Flashlight clicks ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Hello?

♪♪

Hello!

[ Ominous note plays ] -Oh!

-[ Laughing maniacally ] -[ Gasping ]

[ Door opens ]

[ Laughing continues ] -Uh, D-D-Dr. Pierce?

Um...

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hey, Cyrus, this is your 10th loop around the floor.

You want to take a break, or should I set up

one of those marathon water stations?

I am 5,000 steps shy of my daily goal...

25,000 steps.

Has anyone seen Thomas?

'Cause... Thomas, I'm gonna need my...

[ Crashing ] -He's having a seizure.

[ Gurgling ]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Wolf, are you seeing this right now?

What is up with Edward Scissorhands?

Magnets in his fingers?

Are... Are you kidding me?!

It's a thing according to Reddit.

Some argue it's a way to extend your sense of touch.

Much of what Cyrus does has some basis in longevity science.

But body modification like this is different.

Makes me wonder how far he would go and why.

He seized here.

He must have seized in the ice bath.

But why did he seize?

I need you to think as broadly as you can.

This is a man who's on immunosuppressant drugs

and unapproved blood transfusions

and who knows what else.

Think infectious.

Uh, inflammatory. -Or cancer.

Why search for zebras?

Well, we'll look for it all. Horses and zebras.

But to start, we need a better look at his brain.

The C.T. scan he got downstairs was clean.

A blunt tool. We need an MRI, but...

-Magnets. -Right.

So we get a contrast C.T.

Order it stat and let me know as soon as it's done.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

[ Indistinct, menacing voices ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

♪♪

Sam?

Benefits of coming in on a holiday.

One of the Peds nurses brought in her nonna's lasagne.

-Mmm. It smells amazing. -[ Laughs ]

I'm sorry for being so determined.

It's both a blessing and a curse.

Shut up! Shut up!

Uh...

I'm sorry, too, for waving the I.V. pole at you.

-Oh. -The MRI freaked me out.

I'm not good in tight spaces.

Something we have in common.

I usually don't feel like

I have anything in common with anyone.

[ Soft music plays ]

So, here's our new deal.

-Oh, you're making deals now? -Yeah, I am.

I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do

And you think about staying here for a few days.

What do you mean?

We call it crisis stabilization.

Short-term inpatient care

meant to stop a bad day from getting worse.

-You mean the psych ward? -No, it's not a ward.

Movies make it sound so much scarier than it is.

It is 48 hours here with me,

plus a great psychiatrist and zero cold meals.

Most men would call that a dream.

♪♪

[ Sighs ] Can I finish eating first?

Yes.

Dr. Pierce, I did not know that you had an Achilles' heel.

I'm not the only one.

A study in Denmark showed

that 100% of kids are afraid of clowns.

Funny. Studies also show

that hospital clowns help children heal faster.

Well, I like my study better.

-[ Chuckles ] -Coulrophobia is not funny!

How do we shake explicit memories of trauma?

It depends on the trauma.

But in your case,

I think you've made great strides

in processing your childhood.

I'm... I'm not...

I'm not talking about my dad.

[ Sighs ]

[ Siren wailing ]

When I was a junior resident, this young woman came in

with headaches and confusion and a loss of balance.

And ultimately, we found a Grade 3 tumor

in her left frontal lobe.

Highly malignant, low survival rate.

Her oncologist wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy,

so I agreed to stay on the case.

She would look at me

and say, "Dr. Wolf, you better not go soft on me.

I am gonna beat this."

[ Dramatic music plays ]

She was determined to exhaust every option,

and I could not look her in the eye

and tell her it wasn't worth it.

She went through hell,

and then she died in the hospital on Halloween.

It still haunts me.

She wanted more time. You gave her that.

You extended her life.

You know, it felt like I extended her death.

You were young.

You can't let that haunt you for the rest of your life.

I know that.

But if I could go back...

I would ask her,

what is the minimum quality of life

you are willing to accept?

I should have asked her that.

I didn't. I-I couldn't.

[ Sighs ] Wolf...

Survival...

it's a very clear human want.

I mean, look at your patient Cyrus.

At his core, he's afraid of the inevitable.

♪♪

Yeah. It kind of makes me think of the clown in the ED.

I wonder what's at his core? -Mm-hmm.

See, I hate it when you use my professional opinion against me.

[ Groans ] But point taken.

Okay. Wish me luck.

Ahh!

[ Grunts softly ]

[ Knock at door ]

-Dr. Pierce. -Mm.

Cyrus' scans came back.

I think...

he could use someone with a soft delivery.

[ Sad music plays ]

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

I know that look.

That's a look of a doctor who has bad news.

Do I even want to know what caused that seizure?

We found a mass on your C.T.

It's cancer. I knew it. Let me see.

All I know with certainty is that you have a brain mass

that caused you to seize.

What the mass is exactly remains an open question.

Only directly removing and sampling the mass in surgery

can tell us if it's an infection,

an inflammatory process,

or, yes, a malignancy, but...

In my mind, it's cancer until proven otherwise.

And after everything I've done, this comes back to get me.

Let's not anchor on something we don't know to be true.

What I can promise is that you will have

the best neurosurgeon at your side,

and we will find the answers we need.

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

There are a couple things to expect on the psych floor.

Uh, you'll be given a new set of clothes,

and your belongings will be kept safe for you.

On the plus side, the food is way better up there.

And you'll love Dr. Pierce.

It's not a scary place.

Promise.

[ Clears throat ]

Hmm.

[ Button clicking ]

[ Elevator powering up, bell dings ]

Enclosed spaces, right?

Maybe we should have taken the stairs.

[ Indistinct, menacing voices ]

[ Eerie music plays ]

♪♪

Sam, it's dangerous!

It hurts! Get out!

They say it's dangerous.

They say I'm gonna get hurt.

Sam, focus on me.

♪♪

Oh, no. Sam! [ Bell ringing ]

Sam, no, no! [ Button clicking ]

No, no, no, no. Oh, no.

Sam, no. Sam, no.

See?! It is scary!

You're scared, too! Hey!

Let me out!

[ Pounding on door ] -[ Panting ]

Hey, let me out!

Let me out!

It's okay, Sam. It's...

[ Wheezing ] [ Pounding continues ]

Hey. Hey, are you okay?

I heard there was an incident in the elevator.

Uh...

Sam was scared to get admitted to psych.

And then I'm the one who lost it.

Is he okay?

Yeah. [ Chuckles ]

He's good. [ Chuckles ]

Safe and sound in the ED with his favorites...

coffee and pumpkin pie. -Mm.

I need to get it together.

Every day I advocate for patients getting help.

I am such a hypocrite...

and a liar.

Ericka, that's not true.

I mean, you just went to Mexico for that wellness retreat,

came back all fresh.

I know I keep saying this...

but if I tell you something,

will you promise to keep it to yourself?

After the...

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

...building collapse, I...

started swiping bills from Dana to help with my anxiety.

I knew I needed to stop,

and Mexico was supposed to be the answer.

But when I got to that wellness retreat,

my room was on the 10th floor,

and no amount of sun salutations was getting me in that elevator.

I tried meditation. I tried long walks on the beach.

Nothing helped.

And, then, one day, I walked into this pharmacy,

and I bought a bunch of Benzos.

♪♪

Without a prescription.

Wow. Uh...

"Fear and Loathing in Cancun."

I didn't know you partied like that, Kenny.

I don't.

[ Chuckles ] That's the point.

I've been...

♪♪

I've been taking them almost every day for weeks now.

Even saying that out loud, it's like... am I an addict?

Is this what my life is now?

Can I tell you what I really think?

Mm-hmm.

I think...

that you are being...

way too hard on yourself about...

everything.

Sure, you went to a Mexican pharmacy.

I mean, people do that. -[ Scoffs ]

And now you're self-medicating.

Literally everyone does that in one way or another.

I mean, you've never had any prior history

of any addictive behaviors.

Now, as a doctor, I would say you need to wean off the Benzos.

But as your friend...

I really just think you need some help.

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

Oh, hey.

Why is Dr. Rarick operating on my patient Cyrus?

I expected you on this.

My hands are tied...

I'm drowning in admin, your Sarah Kim lawsuit.

Plus, I have to see my dentist.

Have you been sage-ing your office?

-Better safe than sorry. -Okay.

How many surgeries have you performed

since Ana Torres cursed you? -That's not what this...

Let me ask you this. Who have you thought about more.

Benny or Jorge?

-Benny... -[ Sighs ] Why do we think more

about the patients we couldn't save

than we do about the patients we did save?

We let our negativity bias chip away at our confidence.

What I do takes more than confidence.

It takes unwavering certainty.

If I walk into that operating room

with a single stray thought, I risk the life of my patient.

Okay, then, no more stray thoughts.

And no more sage. -[ Scoffs ]

Josh, the only thing you're cursed with

is those broad shoulders.

And they don't always have to carry the weight of the world.

Get back to doing what you do best,

curses be damned.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

[ Key card reader beeps ]

♪♪

[ Exhales sharply ]

I apologize for earlier.

I'll admit [chuckles] I'm not a big fan of clowns.

I'm sure you get that a lot.

But I am here to help you.

So, you were brought in

because of an altercation with a neighbor.

Can you tell me about that?

[ Soft music plays ]

[ Whispering ] Can I smell your hair?

I'm sorry. Can you speak up, please?

Can I smell your hair?

Excuse me?

♪ Tell little Danny ♪

♪ His cat is never coming back ♪

[ Laughing maniacally ]

This guy needs some serious help.

-Why? What did he say? -I think he murdered a cat.

-A what? -Cat.

-Cat? -Yes. A cat.

That could be a sign of sociopathy.

-[ Laughing maniacally ] -I don't mean to be an alarmist,

but I think we need to involve the precinct.

Dr. Pierce.

I need some help.

Okay. Uh, call the precinct.

[ Laughing maniacally ]

[ Eerie music plays ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Eerie music plays ]

♪♪

[ Wheezing noises in distance ]

♪♪

♪♪

[ Wheezing continues ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Monitor beeping ]

♪♪

[ Mutters ]

[ Gasps ]

[ Weakly ] Please...

don't let me die.

[ Knock on door ] -Are you okay, Dr. Wolf?

What are you doing in here?

Dr. Nichols just finished Cyrus' surgery.

You won't believe what we found.

I mean, just when you thought you'd seen it all.

Well, I'll be right there.

[ Breathing shakily ]

♪♪

[ Music climbs ]

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Sam...

this is the doctor I wanted you to meet.

Hi, Sam. I'm Dr. Pierce.

It's nice to meet you. I'm a psychiatrist.

Are you gonna strap me down?

I don't carry restraints.

If we're gonna work together,

I want you to feel safe.

[ Indistinct, menacing voices ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

♪♪

Don't trust them, Sam.

Get out!

-Sam... -She's lying.

...are you hearing voices right now

from people who aren't there?

[ Exhales sharply ]

Yes.

♪♪

Please, help me.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

How many people can say

that they survived hypothermia and brain surgery

all in the same day?

Am I still on a hot streak?

I won't bury the lede, Cyrus.

The good news is you're cancer-free.

[ Sighs ]

But there was something in your brain.

You were infected by Taenia solium,

which means that you somehow ingested a parasitic tapeworm

that untreated can cause seizures

like the one you had in your ice bath

that nearly killed you.

These are the retractable hook lets,

and those are the suckers. -[ Gasps ]

I-I told you drinking the "fountain of youth" water

from the Gila River was a bad idea.

My money is on the 30-day raw meat diet.

I would steer clear of them both,

and stop taking the Rapamycin.

That suppressed your immune system

and made the infection worse.

Uh, luckily, the Taenia is treatable.

But...

Cyrus, I'm worried

that your obsession with your own mortality

could lead to other risk factors

that you won't be able to mitigate.

What Dr. Wolf is trying to say

is this is no way to live.

No, you're right.

I've been doing this all wrong.

Thomas, cancel my shipments from Gila River,

and let's wean me off of the Rapamycin.

Call Luna and tell her I want to do a daily sound bath.

And from now on,

I want you to personally test everything I eat.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, you call Luna.

♪♪

I quit. -What?

I want to eat a chocolate-chip cookie.

I want to stay up late and sleep in.

I want to meet someone who makes me feel like I'll die happy.

Most of all, I just want to keep my own blood in my own body.

I hope your mission works, and I hope you live forever.

But, uh... yeah.

You're gonna have to do it alone.

♪♪

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

♪♪

No.

Any idea what caused Thomas' about-face?

It may have been my Dr. Wolf-inspired soliloquy

about the fleeting nature of life.

Well, imitation is the highest form of flattery.

In the end...

Cyrus was just a person who was afraid of death...

and Thomas was collateral damage.

What about you, Dr. Wolf?

Are you afraid of death?

You know, a wise man once said,

"I don't so much fear death as I do wasting life."

But for my patients...

yes.

I do fear it.

Every doctor has a graveyard.

The place that holds the memories

of the people we couldn't save,

the losses that haunt us.

[ Folk Bitch Trio's "Cathode Ray" plays ]

[ Woman vocalizing ]

Jorge, I need your help.

♪♪

I will stop worrying about curses.

♪♪

But I still need to believe in miracles.

So how do we cope?

How do we keep getting up and doing what we do

despite the ghosts of our mistakes?

[ Knock at door ]

How was facing your biggest fear?

[ Chuckles ]

Let's just say some fears are justified.

Copy that. And he wasn't even

the biggest clown you shook off this year.

-[ Laughs ] Damn straight. -[ Laughs ]

Uh, at least I was able to help someone tonight.

I'm glad I came in,

even though I do miss going out on Halloween.

Maybe it's not too late.

[ Both laugh ]

We hold on to the wins.

We focus on the future.

Find our support system.

♪♪

Yo. My shift just ended.

I'll be at the Gansevoort in 30 minutes.

Tell the guys to order a couple bottles of MacAllan's.

My treat.

♪ Show me what you're made... ♪

[ Eerie music plays ]

♪♪

But sometimes none of that works.

Some mistakes, some patients...

well, they haunt us forever.

Oliver?

Good news. You have a visitor.

What's wrong, mugwump?

You look like you've seen a ghost.

[ Suspenseful music plays ] -[ Gasps ]

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪