Original subtitles

-SO, IT'S EITHER "BODIES WE FIXATE UPON"

OR "BODIES WE OBSESS UPON."

-HMM. FIXATE OR OBSESS.

-UH-HUH.

-YEAH. I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK THEY'RE BOTH REALLY NICE.

-YOU THINK THEY'RE BOTH REALLY NICE?

-MM-HMM. -THAT'S SUPER-HELPFUL.

THANK YOU.

-OF COURSE. YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

-WELL, WHAT -- WHAT COMES AFTER THAT?

-"BUT THE MIND'S THE PRIZE."

-OHHH, OKAY.

IT'S BODIES THAT WE OBSESS UPON,

BUT THE MIND'S THE PRIZE.

I THINK THAT'S THE WINNER.

-OKAY. OBSESS IT IS.

-OBSESS IS PRETTY GOOD.

WILL YOU LET ME READ THE, UH -- THE FINISHED PRODUCT?

-MM. I DON'T KNOW. HOW MUCH WILL YOU PAY ME?

-WAIT. WHOA.

-OHH. -WHOA.

HOW MUCH WILL I PAYYOU?

I MEAN -- -YEAH.

-I THINK I'M GETTING IN ON THE FEE FOR THIS POEM

NOW THAT I'VE BEEN SUCH A BIG HELP.

I WAS THINKING, UH, LIKE, UH -- I MEAN, IT'S UP TO YOU,

BUT I WAS JUST THINKING BALLPARK 60/40 KIND OF SPLIT, MAYBE.

-SEEMS FAIR.

-YOU ARE SORELY MISTAKEN, MY FRIEND.

-WELL, I'M LIKE YOUR MANAGER, TOO, THOUGH, NOW, KIND OF.

-OH.

-I'M LIKE YOUR CO-WRITER, MANAGER, CONFIDANTE, LOVER.

-YOU'RE MY BODYGUARD, TOO.

-SHIT. UM, WELL, AND I'M F-FAR AWAY.

I CAN'T PROTECT YOU.

-I KNOW, NO.

-YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO GO FIND, LIKE,

SOME BIG, GIANT, HUNKY GERMAN GUY AT THE BEER HALL.

-YEAH, WELL, HE'S HERE, TOO.

-AW. DAMN IT.

WHAT DOES HE THINK? DOES HE LIKE FIXATE OR OBSESS BETTER?

WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM?

-WELL, HE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH, SO...

-HE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH?

WELL, I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THE FULL THING.

REALLY, I THINK IT'S OFF TO A REALLY GREAT START.

-YEAH? -YEAH. SERIOUSLY.

I THINK YOU'RE REALLY GOOD.

-I THINK YOU'RE REALLY GOOD.

-SO, WHAT EXACTLY IS CRICUT, THEN?

MM-HMM.

OHHH, I SEE.

NO, NO, THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL.

YEAH.

OH, NO, I'VE GOT -- I, UH, -- I'VE GOT THAT DOWN NOW.

YEP.

WAIT, LET ME JUST, UH...

CRICUT -- UH, SCRAPBOOKING,

CARTRIDGES, AND WHAT WAS THE LAST KEYWORD?

DECOR. RIGHT.

YES.

YOU SHOULD DO THE ADVERTISING FOR THIS CANDY.

-YOU THINK SO?

-YEAH, YOU'RE IDEAL POSTER -- POSTER GIRL.

-THAT'S REALLY SWEET.

-YEAH, I'D BUY SOME. I'D BUY FROM YOU.

-YOU WANT SOME? -YES, PLEASE.

-ALL RIGHT. -I NEED A BITE.

-INCOMING. -YEP. GOT IT.

-GOT IT? -YEP, WE'RE GOOD.

-HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?

-I'M SPEECHLESS. IT'S SO GOOD.

-YOU WANT MORE? -MWAH.

UH, YES, PLEASE.

-JUST COME -- COME THROUGH THE COMPUTER.

-OKAY, HERE I GO. -OKAY, OKAY.

-WHOA! JESUS!

THOSE SIRENS ARE LOUD THERE.

-I HOPE MY BUILDING'S NOT ON FIRE.

-WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CANDY?

-UM...

HMM. I DON'T KNOW.

-WELL...

WHAT'D YOU DO TODAY?

-UH...UH...NOTHING REALLY.

I HAD KIND OF A BORING DAY.

-I'M SORRY.

-I'LL LIVE.

I HAVEN'T, UH, GOTTEN ANYTHING FOR MY MOM YET.

-OH, YEAH. -YEAH.

-SEND HER FLOWERS.

-FLOWERS? -YEAH.

WAIT, ARE YOU ONE OF THESE GUYS

WHO'S TOO COOL TO SEND HIS MOM FLOWERS

OR, LIKE, TOO COOL TO SEND HER A CARD ON VALENTINE'S DAY?

-WHO SENDS THEIR MOM A VALENTINE'S DAY CARD?

-I DON'T KNOW. I HOPE YOU DO.

-OH, I'LL SEND YOURMOM A VALENTINE'S DAY CARD.

DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF HER?

-NO.

BET SHE'S HOT.

LEAVE MY MOM ALONE.

-AW. -BACK OFF, BUDDY.

OH. OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.

THIS IS REALLY WEIRD. UM...

I, UH -- I SAW YOUR DOPPELGAENGER EARLIER TODAY.

-WHAT?

-YEAH, ON THE SUBWAY.

FOR A FEW SECONDS, I COULD'VE SWORN IT WAS YOU.

SO, CAN YOU, LIKE, TOTALLY NOT WAIT TO SEE ME?

OR ME--

UH, MEET ME, I GUESS, IS THE TECHNICAL TERM.

-YEAH. FEELS WEIRD TO SAY THAT.

-YEAH, MEET. MEET. MEET.

-YOU KNOW WHEN YOU --

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU SAY A WORD,

UH, SO MANY TIMES IT STARTS TO, LIKE, LOSE ITS MEANING?

MEET, MEET, MEET, MEET.

-ONLY TWO AND A HALF MONTHS. OH? WHAT?

-WHAT?

-OHH. I LOVE YOU.

-I LOVE YOU, TOO.

HEY. VIRGINIA?

VIRGINIA?

NO?

SHIT.

-WHAT? -YEAH, ON THE SUBWAY.

IT WAS SO WEIRD.

FOR A COUPLE SECONDS, I COULD'VE SWORN IT WAS YOU.

SO, CAN YOU, UM, LIKE, TOTALLY NOT WAIT TO S--

I SAW YOUR DOPPELGANGER EARLIER TODAY.

-WHAT? -YEAH, ON THE SUBWAY.

IT WAS SO WEIRD.

FOR A COUPLE SECONDS, I COULD'VE SWORN IT WAS YOU.

-WHAT? -YEAH, ON THE SUBWAY.

IT WAS SO WEIRD.

FOR A COUPLE SECONDS --

-WHAT? -YEAH, ON THE SUBWAY.

IT WAS SO WEIRD.

FOR A COUPLE SE...

-WHAT? -YEAH, ON THE SUBWAY.

IT WAS SO WEIRD.

FOR A COUPLE SE...

-WHAT? -YEAH, ON THE SUBWAY.

-HEY. -HEY.

-BRETT. -VIRGINIA.

-UH, CinderellaDate -- -YEAH, I GOT IT.

-EITHER THAT OR...

-HEY. -HEY.

-YOU LIVE AROUND HERE? -I DO, I DO.

I DON'T HANG OUT, UH, DOWN HERE THAT MUCH, THOUGH.

-MM. AFTER COLLEGE, ALL MY FRIENDS MOVED AROUND HERE,

AND THEN THEY REALIZED THEY COULDN'T AFFORD IT.

YEAH, IT'S NOT CHEAP.

-SO, DO YOU -- WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

-EAST VILLAGE, BUT WAY, WAY EAST.

-AH, COOL. THAT -- THAT MUST BE COOL.

-YEAH.

-YOU EVER DONE THIS KIND OF THING BEFORE?

-NO.

HAVE YOU? -NO, NO.

I MEAN, I'VE DONE ONLINE DATING.

-YEAH, BUT THAT'S NOT THE SAME THING, REALLY.

SO, WHAT -- WHAT, UM -- WHAT BROUGHT YOU TO NEW YORK?

OR ARE YOU FROM HERE? -MNH.

NO, I'M FROM OHIO.

I GREW UP IN OHIO, I WENT TO COLLEGE IN OHIO,

I WAS WORKING IN OHIO --

JUST THOUGHT IT'S TIME TO LEAVE OHIO SO...

-SHOULD WE JUST GO NOW?

-UM, UH, SURE, YEAH. UH, LET ME JUST --

-YEAH. -TWO SECONDS.

-OKAY.

-AHH.

-MM.

OHH! -OH, OH, OH.

-OH, FUCK. I'M SORRY. -THAT'S COOL.

-SHIT. THIS DRESS IS CURSED.

-UH, WHAT DO THEY SAY -- UM, CLUB SODA, SALT, OR SOMETHING?

-NO, IT'S FINE. -NO, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.

HEY, CAN I GET A LITTLE, UH, CLUB SODA?

ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO THIS.

-YOU CAN, UH, PLAY SOMETHING IF YOU WANT TO.

-OH, NO. THAT'S FINE.

-THIS IS THE ONE I WAS -- I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST GOT TO SAY...

I DID THIS ONE MYSELF. I REALLY LOVE THIS THING.

-YOU'RE AN I. BANKER, RIGHT?

-IS THAT, UH, BAD?

NICE.

-DID YOU DO THIS ONE, TOO?

-NO, THAT'S A GIFT. -GIFT?

-YEAH, FROM SOME, LIKE, WEIRD HIPSTER FRIEND OF MINE.

-♪ AND THROUGH EVERYTHING THAT WE'D BEEN THROUGH♪

♪ WE STILL STAYED TOGETHER♪

♪ I JUST PRAY THAT WE CAN MAKE THIS THING LAST FOREVER♪

♪ I DO ADORE YOU, SO YOU KNOW YOU CAN ASK FOR WHATEVER♪

-OH, YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. -YES.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR.

-SHH! NO! DON'T TALK. YOU'RE DISTRACTING ME.

-♪ ...SHOPPING CENTERS AT THE STORE♪

♪ BUYIN' GUCCI, COACH, AND LOUIS♪

-WHOA! -WHOA!

-JUST KIDDING. I'M BACK.

-AH, GOOD. GOOD.

-DID YOU GET THE CUPCAKES?

-OH. I DID. AND THEY'RE ALL GONE.

-OHHH! WERE THEY GOOD?

-AH, DELICIOUS.

THEY WERE GONE IMMEDIATELY.

-OH, CHECK THIS OUT.

I'M ALSO WEARING THIS FINE DRESS

FROM SOME OVERPRICED GERMAN BOUTIQUE.

-OOH!

WOW, YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

WHAT TIME IS IT THERE?

-IT'S 3:00. I'M SO TIRED.

-DRINK SOME MORE COFFEE.

-MM.

DID I TELL YOU ABOUT, UM, BACK IN NEW YORK,

WHEN I WENT ON A COUPLE OF DATES WITH THIS BARISTA DUDE?

-NO, WHO IS HE? I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM.

-HE, UH -- HE WAS JUST SOME PUNK GUY

WITH THESE REALLY TERRIBLE TATTOOS.

OHH, THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN A DEAD GIVEAWAY, RIGHT?

BUT HE HAD A REALLY TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE TEMPER,

AND WHEN I STOPPED TEXTING HIM BACK,

HE WOULDN'T GIVE ME MY FIX.

IT WAS A TRAGEDY.

-SO, WHAT'S THE MORAL OF THIS STORY?

-OH, UM...

DON'T LET A DUDE GET IN BETWEEN YOU

AND THE BEST COFFEE IN THE EAST VILLAGE.

-UH-HUH.

I'LL TRY TO REMEMBER THAT ONE.

-BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE SCIENCE RIGHT,

SO THE WHOLE THING, THE WHOLE OPERATION

WAS DOOMED FROM THE BEGINNING.

IF THEY HAD THE CHEMISTRY RIGHT,

THEY'D ALL BE MILLIONAIRES BY NOW.

JUST THAT ONE LITTLE THING WITH THE CHEMISTRY SCREWED 'EM UP.

-YEAH, THAT'S FAR OUT. -I KNOW. UNBELIEVABLE, RIGHT?

-CRAZY.

-CONFUSING THIS GUY NOW, TOO?

HE JUST TELL YOU SOME STORY ABOUT HOW SOME OF HIS FRIENDS --

-HEY, HE LIKED MY STORY.

YOU WERE ALL INTERESTED AND SHIT, RIGHT?

-YEAH. TOTALLY. -YEAH.

-YEAH.

HEY, MAN. I'M CODY.

-DO YOU LIVE IN THE VILLAGE?

-UH NO, I'M IN BUSHWICK, ACTUALLY.

BUT, UM, I GOT SOME FRIENDS --

ACTUALLY, I GOT ONE REALLY GOOD FRIEND LIVES RIGHT AROUND HERE.

-YEAH. I'M RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.

-OH, YEAH? WELL, THAT'S FUNNY.

YOU PROBABLY KNOW HER, THEN.

SHE'S, LIKE, OUT ALL THE TIME IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.

DO YOU KNOW A GIRL NAMED VIRGINIA WALKER?

-UM, NO. I DON'T THINK I DO.

-OH. THAT'S FUNNY.

MAYBE YOU'D KNOW HER IF YOU SAW HER.

GOT A PICTURE HERE.

LOOK FAMILIAR?

-THAT'S A FUCKED UP STORY, MAN.

I WISH I COULD BE MORE HELP.

-YEAH. I KNOW, MAN.

IF IT TURNS OUT TO BE TRUE...

I DON'T KNOW.

I-I COULD JUST BE THE WORLD'S MOST PARANOID BOYFRIEND.

DO I SEEM CRAZY?

-I MEAN, IT SEEMS LIKE SHE'S FUCKING WITH YOU,

IS WHAT IT SEEMS LIKE.

-I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

MAYBE, MAYBE NOT.

I MEAN, IT COULD JUST BE,

LIKE, SOME MISUNDERSTANDINGS, YOU KNOW?

-YEAH, RIGHT.

MISUNDERSTANDING.

-LIKE, SHE'S...

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU KNOW, WHEN THINGS IN YOUR LIFE SEEM TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE,

THEY PROBABLY ARE.

THEY JUST PROBABLY ARE.

-OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YO, I JUST REMEMBERED.

I KNOW WHERE I SEEN HER BEFORE.

-YEAH?

-SHERVIN'S.

IT'S A LITTLE COFFEE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER.

-COFFEE SHOP.

-YEAH. DEFINITELY.

-SHERVIN'S.

DO YOU KNOW ANY OF THE GUYS THAT WORK THERE?

-UH, KNOW THEM? NO.

I'D KNOW THEM IF I SEE THEM.

-ARE ANY OF THEM LIKE...PUNKS?

-PUNKS.

YEAH, I THINK ONE OR TWO OF THEM MAY BE PUNKS.

WHY?

NO, JUST, UM...

NO, OH, YEAH, I'LL CHECK THAT OUT.

UM...THANKS, MAN.

-AW, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

-CULINARY SCHOOL --

LIKE, WHAT DO I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BAKE FOR?

THAT'S, I MEAN, RIDICULOUS.

ANYWAY, I'LL SEE YA TOMORROW, ALL RIGHT?

-SEE YA.

-OH, HEY, MAN. WHAT CAN I GET YOU?

-HEY.

HEY.

UM, YEAH, CAN I GET A-A...

UH, ICED COFFEE -- LARGE, PLEASE?

-YEAH, YOU GOT IT.

-"MINOR THREAT."

I USED TO PRACTICALLY LIVE ON THEM, MAN.

OH, YEAH? RIGHT ON.

-YEAH.

YEAH, UH, ALL -- ALL MY PAINFUL, ANGSTY HIGH-SCHOOL MEMORIES

ARE FLOODING BACK RIGHT NOW.

YOU KNOW, MAN, LIKE, ALL THE BANDS THAT I GREW UP ON,

THEY AGED LIKE SHIT, MAN, BUT THESE GUYS, THEY'RE FOREVER.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? FOREVER.

-YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT, MAN.

-ALL RIGHT, THAT'S $4 RIGHT THERE, MY MAN.

-THANKS.

HERE YOU GO, MAN. CHEERS.

-YEAH.

-HEY, DID YOU HEAR THEY'RE, UH --

THINK THEY'RE GONNA GET BACK TOGETHER -- REUNION TOUR.

-REALLY? -YEAH. TOTALLY.

-HUH. -YEAH, I READ IT ON, UH --

-YEAH, WHERE'D YOU HEAR THAT, MAN?

-SOME SITE, SOME BLOG.

-A-ARE YOU GONNA STAND THERE ALL DAY?

-YO, MY MAN, COME ON.

MINOR THREAT REUNION IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT

THAN YOUR ICED SKIM LATTE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

-TOTALLY. UH, IT WAS, UM...

YEAH. SORRY, MAN.

I'M BLANKING ON THAT SITE, SO, UH, YEAH.

ANYWAY, UH, TO BE CONTINUED. -ALL RIGHT, MAN. LATER.

-YOU TOO. YEAH, MAN, TAKE -- TAKE CARE.

-HE'S FROM NORTH CAROLINA.

HE'S, UH...BELIEVE IT OR NOT, AN I. BANKER.

-I'VE NEVER MET AN INVESTMENT BANKER IN NEW YORK.

I AMA BIT SURPRISED, VIRGINIA.

-DO YOU THINK I SHOULD TEXT HIM BACK?

-MM.

ARE YOU KEEPING HIM ON ICE OR...

-NO. -HUH?

-NO, I JUST WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE TO START IF I SAW HIM AGAIN.

IT'S NOT LIKE...

IT'S A ONE-TIME THING.

-IS THAT LIKE A RULE OF BLENDR?

HOW DOES IT WORK?

-NO, THERE ARE NO RULES.

IT'S THE WILD WEST OUT THERE, BABY.

-YEE-HAW.

-YOU SHOULD WAVE TO YOUR FAN CLUB.

I'M GONNA COME BACK FOR THIS.

GIVE ME THE KEYS. -YEAH.

-ROWR!

-HEY, MAN.

HEY, COFFEE-SHOP GUY, RIGHT?

-OH, HEY, UH...

MINOR THREAT, RIGHT? -YEAH.

-HEY, MAN. HOW YOU DOING?

-YEAH, I FORGOT YOUR NAME.

-OH, I'M GREG, MAN.

-COOL, GREG. I'M CODY.

-HEY, UH, DID YOU EVER FIGURE OUT

WHAT, UH, SITE YOU HEARD THAT SHIT ON?

-PITCHFORK. -REALLY?

YOU HEARD THAT ON PITCHFORK?

-IT WAS JUST A RUMOR, BUT, YEAH.

-HUH.

WELL, FUCKIN' "A," RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, WELL, UH, THANKS, MAN, YEAH.

-HEY, YOU LIVE HERE?

-UH...YEAH, MAN, I LIVE RIGHT HERE.

THIS IS MY SPOT. -NICE.

YEAH, I LOVE THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.

I'M COMPLETELY LOST, BUT THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER STORY.

-OH, WHERE YOU TRYING TO GO TO?

-UH, MERCURY LOUNGE. SOME BANDS TO CHECK OUT TONIGHT.

-OH, NICE. YEAH, YEAH.

UH...IT'S A BIT OF A WAYS.

UH, HOUSTON AND ESSEX, I THINK.

-HOUSTON AND ESSEX.

WHAT'S THAT -- LIKE 20 MINUTES?

-UH, 15, 20. SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

-FUCK.

I GOT TO PISS LIKE A RACEHORSE.

HEY, MAN, YOU DON'T THINK I COULD REAL QUICK...

-OH, UH...

-YEAH, IT WAS ACTUALLY, UH...

FRIEND OF MINE RECOMMENDED IT.

YEAH, IT WAS KIND OF RANDOM,

BUT, UH, I THINK SHE SAID SHE ACTUALLY KNOWS YOU.

VIRGINIA WALKER?

-UH...

NAH, THAT DOESN'T RING A BELL, MAN.

-THAT'S FUNNY.

SHE SAID THAT SHE DATED ONE OF THE BARISTAS THERE ONCE.

UH...

HERE.

THAT'S HER.

-AH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I RECOGNIZE HER.

UH, BUT I DON'T, LIKE, KNOW HER OR ANYTHING.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? -UH-HUH.

YEAH, SHE'S ACTUALLY IN BERLIN RIGHT NOW

FOR THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS.

-YOU OKAY, MAN?

-AM I OKAY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

-NO, NO, NO, JUST...

ALL THESE QUESTIONS --

IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD, MAN.

-JUST...HAVING CONVERSATION.

-WELL, UH, BATHROOM'S OVER THIS --

-WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW HER?

-EXCUSE ME?

-DO YOU REMEMBER IF YOU SEEN HER THERE LIKE, UH, RECENTLY?

I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

-YEAH. YEAH. IT'S JUST THAT THERE'S LIKE A WEIRD THING

THAT I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT.

-WELL, THE BATHROOM'S OVER THERE.

-NICE. IS THAT YOUR ROOM?

-COME ON.

-THANKS.

MM. SHIT.

-YOU ALL RIGHT IN THERE?

-FUCK.

HEY, MAN, UH, I THINK, UH,

YOUR PLUMBING'S ACTING A LITTLE WEIRD.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK IT OUT.

-SERIOUSLY, MAN?

-YEAH, I-I SWEAR -- I SWEAR I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

-JESUS.

-REALLY SLOWLY AND DELICATELY,

I'LL JUST KISS ALL AROUND YOUR PUSSY.

AND, UH, I'LL JUST LICK THE OUTSIDE REALLY SLOWLY AND FIRMLY

AND...THEN I'LL WORK MY WAY UP TO THE TOP.

-THEN I'LL GO DOWN ON YOU.

AND THEN I'LL JUST KIND OF... SLOWLY TAKE YOUR BALLS OUT,

AND THEN I'LL LICK REALLY GENTLY AROUND THE EDGES

ONE AT A TIME.

-MM-HMM.

-JUST SORT OF SLICK MY TONGUE REALLY GINGERLY OVER THEM.

AND THEN I'LL MOVE UP TO THE SHAFT...

...SLIDE MY TONGUE OVER IT, UP AND DOWN,

UP AND DOWN, BUNCH OF TIMES.

-TALK ABOUT SUCKING IT AGAIN.

-NO, UH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY.

-OH, VIRGINIA. GOD.

-UH, I'LL KEEP SUCKING YOUR COCK.

HEY, WILL YOU LOOK INTO YOUR WEBCAM FOR A SECOND?

-SURE.

-THANK YOU.

HOW WAS IT?

-IT WAS GREAT.

YOU'RE SO GOOD.

MM. YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY RIGHT NOW.

-LITERARY SOCIETY OF NEW YORK. THIS IS VIRGINIA.

HI, GEORGE.

WELL, THE BOOK FORUM IS SENDING STAN OVER, I THINK.

NO, I-I KNOW THAT HE LOVED THE SHORT STORIES.

RIGHT, MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.

OKAY.

OKAY, TAKE CARE. BYE.

-HEY. -HEY.

SO, UH, I MEAN, I THINK I SUBMITTED THE PASSAGE

I'M GONNA READ, AND SARAH SAID THE REST IS TAKEN CARE OF?

-YEAH, SHOULD ALL BE TAKEN CARE OF.

THE INVITATIONS ARE ALL OUT.

-AH.

YOU ARE THE BEST, VIRGINIA, SERIOUSLY.

MM.

SO, NEXT STEP IS I JUST, UH, CURL UP IN THE CORNER

AND PANIC-ATTACK, RIGHT?

-YOU'LL BE SUPERB.

I ALWAYS FELT EMBARRASSED TO TELL YOU THIS,

BUT I LOVED "STRONG ARMS, WEAK HEART."

-OH.

-I TOTALLY RELATED TO NORA. -OH, MAN.

I AM DELIGHTED AND SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

-OH, HEY!

-UH, THIS IS VIRGINIA.

-HI. I'M THE GIRLFRIEND, MARY.

-HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.

-MARY'S IN TOWN FOR THE WEEKEND. -OH, THAT'S GREAT.

LET ME KNOW IF I COULD ASSIST YOU WITH ANYTHING

WHILE YOU'RE HERE. -OH, THANKS. WE WILL.

SO, ARE YOU A WRITER, TOO, VIRGINIA?

-UM...NOPE.

-AW, COME ON. YES, YOU ARE.

-I'M NOT. NO, THIS IS MY JOB.

-WELL, PERSISTENCE IS KEY.

-WELL, SHALL WE? -YES.

TAKE CARE, VIRGINIA. -BYE.

-"ARE YOU A WRITER, TOO?"

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT?

-I DON'T KNOW IF SHE MEANT IT THAT WAY.

-YES, SHE DID. -SHE TOTALLY DIDN'T.

WHO THE FUCK IS JEALOUS OF THE OFFICE MANAGER?

-WELL, YOU'RE A NEW YORKER.

-UGH, NOT FOR LONG.

DON'T SAY THAT.

-OH, I MEANT TO ASK YOU IF YOU COULD COVER THE READING FOR ME.

YOU KNOW MY FRIEND AMY I TOLD YOU ABOUT?

-YEAH. -YEAH.

YEAH, SHE'S IN TOWN FOR ONE NIGHT,

AND SHE ASKED ME TO GO TO THIS DINNER THING.

I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN FOREVER.

-SHIT, I CAN'T.

-SOMETHING INTERESTING?

-IT'S SO STUPID.

UM, YOU REMEMBER THAT CRAZY-SHIRT GUY

WHO WAS CHECKING US OUT OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE LAST WEEK?

-YEAH. -YEAH.

WELL, UM, IT'S CRAZY, BUT BASICALLY HE POSTED ABOUT ME

ON "MISSED CONNECTIONS."

YOU KNOW, ON CRAIGSLIST?

-YEAH. WEIRD. -YEAH.

SO, I-I RESPONDED, AND WE'RE GETTING DRINKS.

I KNOW, RIGHT? -YEAH, WHY NOT?

-BUT IF I END UP IN A GARBAGE CAN, NOW YOU KNOW WHY.

-MM-HMM. -MM-HMM.

-DID YOU BEAT IT REALLY THIN?

-I BEAT IT TO A -- TO A PULP.

YOU KNOW WHY? 'CAUSE IT WAS A -- IT WAS A "JERK."

IT WAS A JERK CHICKEN. GET IT?

NO? -JERK CHICKEN?

-YEAH. -BEAT IT TO A PULP?

-'CAUSE IT WAS A "JERK."

-YEAH. THAT'S GOOD.

-YEAH? -YEAH, THAT'S REALLY GOOD.

-YEAH, THANKS.

MM. LEMON.

-LEMON. -YEAH.

-COOL. -YEAH.

-IS THE FLAME UP HIGH?

-IT -- UH, MEDIUM-LOW.

-PUMP IT UP.

-PUMP IT UP. ALL RIGHT.

-KLEINE SUENDEN.

LITTLE SINS.

-I THINK YOU ARE SINGLE-HANDEDLY SUPPORTING

THE GERMAN CANDY INDUSTRY.

-THAT'S AN INTERESTING REMARK TO MAKE TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

-THEY'RE VERY WELL NAMED, I HAVE TO SAY -- LITTLE SINS.

ALTHOUGH, I HAVE A THEORY

THAT YOU COULD NAME CANDY "LITTLE ANYTHINGS"

AND PEOPLE WOULD EAT THEM.

-SINCE WHEN DO YOU SPEAK GERMAN?

-JA.

JUST, UH... ROSETTA STONE, YO.

I JUST STARTED.

-IT'S OKAY. YOU CAN ADMIT IT IF YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT IMPRESSED.

ANYWAY, I THINK I COULD HAVE YOU EATING SOME

-YEAH, I GET IT.

-OR PERHAPS YOU'D BE MORE INTERESTED

IN SOME

-YEP, THAT'S VERY GOOD.

-MAYBE SOME

-LOOK, I'M NOT FAT,

SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING ON ABOUT.

ALSO, IF YOU'RE TRYING TO BE FUNNY, JUST TAKE A HINT,

AND IF SOMEBODY DOESN'T LAUGH THE FIRST TIME, JUST LET IT GO.

-HEY.

HEY, WILL YOU COME BACK?

-THIS LINE SUCKS.

-SUCKS. -YEAH.

-SHIT.

-EXCUSE ME, DO YOU HAVE A LIGHT?

-UM...I THINK I DO.

LET ME CHECK THIS. SURE. YEAH.

-THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

-THANK YOU.

-MM-HMM.

-WHAT'S UP WITH THIS LINE?

IT'S LIKE WE'RE AT LIKE STUDIO 54 OR SOMETHING.

-ALMOST -- IT'S, UH -- IT'S '90s NIGHT IN THERE.

-NO WAY. -WAY.

-NO, IT'S NOT. -YEAH.

-OH, MY GOD.

WELL, GOOD, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA GO IN THERE

AND DO THE...N'SYNC PUPPET-STRING DANCE.

-OH, MY GOD. DO YOU KNOW IT?

-I DON'T WANT TO BRAG.

BUT, UH, YEAH.

I WAS PROBABLY THE ONLY, UH -- THE ONLY GUY IN MY CLASS

IN MIDDLE SCHOOL THAT WAS INTO THE WHOLE BOY-BAND THING.

-OH, MY GOD. -CUTE.

-WE WOULD'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS.

-MY PARENTS ARE ASLEEP.

-YOU LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS?

-SHH!

B.R.B.

-AW, FUCK.

-UH, HELLO.

I AM, I KNOW.

I AM NOT. I AM NOT!

I'M NOT DRUNK.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE TONY TATTOO'S

AND NOT KNOW YOU'RE A SLUT.

WAIT, DID THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?

OKAY, GOOD.

UH, I HOPE SO. BYE.

WHAT'S UP WITH YOU AND THE FIDGETING?

MM.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

-UM, I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.

-SO? IS SHE HERE?

-I THINK THE COAST IS CLEAR.

-WE NEED MOORE BOOZE.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

-WE NEED TO TALK.

-WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY PHONE?

-I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.

-I'M SO CONFUSED.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

-HOLD ON.

-DON'T GO ON MY COMPUTER.

-DO YOU REMEMBER HOW I TOLD YOU THAT I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

IT'S VIRGINIA.

VIRGINIA WALKER.

DON'T PRETEND THAT YOU DON'T KNOW HER.

I SAW YOU IN A PHOTO WITH HER.

-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THERE.

-I DON'T KNOW THIS GIRL.

I'M NOT EVEN FACEBOOK FRIENDS WITH HER.

-WAIT.

NO, NO. WHAT? NO, NO, I SAW YOU.

YOU'RE IN THE...

-HOLD ON.

WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?

-LOOK.

-GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY APARTMENT.

-CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN, OKAY? JUST WAIT.

I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT

WHAT THE DEAL IS WITH VIRGINIA, OKAY?

-I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT GIRL.

-THEN WHO WAS THE GIRL THAT JUST TEXTED YOU, HUH?

-GET OUT.

GET OUT!

-DUDE, WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?

IT SOUNDS LOUD AS SHIT.

OH, SWEET.

DUDE, TE-- TEXT ME THE ADDRESS.

YEAH, NO, NO, I WAS GONNA GO HOME, BUT I KI--

I KIND OF FEEL LIKE HANGING.

BECAUSE IF -- IF SHE IS IN BERLIN,

I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH.

-WHICH -- I DON'T KNOW -- AT THIS POINT, MAYBE I AM.

I FEEL LIKE ONE. I FEEL LIKE I'M -- I'M ONE.

-YEAH. -I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING CRAZY.

I FEEL I'M -- I'M GOING INSANE.

-AWW.

-BUT, LIKE, LOOK...

LET'S SAY SHE IS IN NEW YORK.

-MM-HMM. -THEN WHATEVER. WHO CARES?

SHE'S A BITCH. FUCK IT.

I WILL MOVE ON, THOUGH, AND FORGET ABOUT IT.

BUT IT'S THE NOT...KNOWING

THAT'S MAKING ME SO CRAZY.

IT'S -- IF I COULD JUST KNOW ONE WAY OR THE OTHER,

BUT NOT KNOWING IS WHAT MAKES IT SO MUCH WORSE.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?

-MNH. WHAT IS IT?

-YOU'RE A FUCKING PUSSY.

P-U-S-S-Y.

-OH, FUCK YOU!

WHAT, I'M A PUSSY 'CAUSE I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THINGS?

THAT MAKES ME A FUCKING PUSSY?

-YEAH, A FUCKING LITTLE DICK-PUSSY.

-MM. WHATEVER, THEN. ALL RIGHT. I AM.

-LIKE, YOU PROBABLY HAVE A LITTLE NUB DICK.

YOU HAVE A LITTLE NUB DICK, RIGHT?

A LITTLE, TINY, LITTLE, BABY PENIS.

AM I RIGHT?

-YEAH?

YOU'VE BEEN TESTED, RIGHT?

-YEAH. HAVE YOU? -YEAH.

-YEAH? -OH, YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS IF I'M BEING HONEST WITH YOU, THEN I HAVE TO SAY

THAT IT HAS BEEN REALLY GETTING TO ME LATELY...

THE DISTANCE, YOU KNOW, AND...

HOW CRAZY IT CAN MAKE YOU

AND HOW HARD IT IS TO HAVE, YOU KNOW,

SO MANY FEELINGS TIED UP

IN SOMETHING THAT'S SO FAR AWAY FROM YOU

AND SO COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR CONTROL, YOU KNOW?

-ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?

-WHAT?

-I JUST FEEL LIKE WE'VE COME REALLY FAR,

AND I'M COMING HOME REALLY SOON, AND WE'RE CLOSE.

WE'RE REALLY CLOSE.

-YEAH, YOU'RE COMING BACK SO SOON. YOU'RE RIGHT.

-HAVE YOU EVER FELT THIS SORT OF CONNECTION

WITH ANYONE BEFORE?

-NO.

-THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

DON'T BE AN IDIOT.

I LOVE YOU. I REALLY LOVE YOU.

CODY?

-I KNOW. I'M SO SORRY.

I --

YEAH, NO, BELIEVE ME, I WISH I COULD,

BUT IT'S FAMILY, AND, I MEAN,

MY MOM WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME IF I DON'T GO.

HE'S 85.

YEAH, HE KN-- NO, HE KNOWS --

HE KNOWS HE SHOULDN'T BE DRIVING,

BUT HE'S BEEN FORGETTING THINGS.

THE DOCTORS THINK EARLY ALZHEIMER'S.

I DON'T KNOW.

NO, HE'S -- HE'S OKAY. HE'S FINE.

THEY THINK MILD CONCUSSION, MAYBE, AT WORST,

BUT HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL.

MY WHOLE FAMILY'S THERE. I GOT TO GO.

I GOT TO GO.

NO, JUST NOT GONNA MAKE THE DEADLINE.

I WILL GIVE YOU A THOUSAND MILLION WORDS

ON CRICUT SCRAPBOOKING NEXT WEEK,

BUT THE NEXT COUPLE DAYS I'M OUT OF COMMISSION, OKAY?

-♪...BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪

-NO.

NO.

NO, I'M -- I'M GOIN-- I'M GOING TO --

I'M GOING TO THE GRAND CENTRAL RIGHT NOW.

I GOT TO GET ON THE TRAIN.

LISTEN, I -- LOOK, THIS IS NOT EASY FOR ME, OKAY?

YES, NEXT WEEK. ABSOLUTELY.

YEAH. YEAH, I'LL CHECK IT -- YEP.

I'M CHECKING IT NOW.

CHECKING IT.

WHAT?

UH, MY MOM IS -- MY MOM IS ACTUALLY, UH, CALLING ME.

UH, IT'S PROBABLY ABOUT MY GRANDDAD,

SO I GOT TO TAKE IT, OKAY?

I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

-♪ AND THROUGH EVERYTHING THAT WE'D BEEN THROUGH♪

♪ WE STILL STAYED TOGETHER♪

♪ I JUST PRAY THAT WE CAN MAKE THIS THING LAST FOREVER♪

♪ I DO ADORE YOU, SO YOU KNOW YOU CAN ASK FOR WHATEVER♪

-UM, VEGETABLES, LIVESTOCK.

I REALIZED IT WAS THE FIRST TIME SINCE MOVING TO NEW YORK

WHERE I'VE, LIKE, REALLY ACTUALLY DONE SOMETHING

WITH MY HANDS -- SOMETHING, YOU KNOW, PHYSICAL LIKE THAT.

IT'S SO GRATIFYING, YOU KNOW?

-YEAH. FAIR ENOUGH.

-AND THEN I SUDDENLY REALIZED, "YOU KNOW, I THINK PEOPLE

"MIGHT BE WILLING TO ACTUALLY PAY FOR THIS.

LIKE, PEOPLE MIGHT ACTUALLY PAY MONEY TO DO WORK ON A FARM."

-YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

-THANKS.

-IT'S ALSO KIND OF SILLY.

-YEAH? HOW SO?

-WELL, UM...

YOU'RE ALLOWING PEOPLE TO WALK IN THE SHOES OF A FARMER

FOR A WEEK, BUT IT'S NOT REAL FARMING.

IT'S LIKE AN AMUSEMENT-PARK VERSION OF FARMING,

AND WHEN YOU DO THAT,

WHEN YOU TRY AND GET AT THE ESSENCE OF A THING,

BUT YOU LOSE EVERYTHING

THAT COMPLICATES IT AND MAKES IT REAL,

I DO THINK THAT'S KIND OF DANGEROUS, RIGHT?

OTHER THAN THAT, IT'S A GREAT IDEA.

YEAH, NO, IT'S OKAY.

IT'S OKAY. I THINK, UH -- NO, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

SO, VIRGINIA, WHAT DO YOU DO?

-HEY.

-HEY.

YOU WERE WONDERFUL.

-THINK SO?

-NO, I DON'T. I'M LYING.

THEY PAY ME TO SAY STUFF LIKE THAT.

-YOU MUST GET PAID A LOT. YOU'RE A GOOD LIAR.

-THANK YOU.

I'M ON MY WAY OUT. UH, ARE YOU LEAVING SOON OR...

-OH, YEAH.

YEAH, I HAVE TO CLEAN THIS AND THEN LOCK UP,

SO PROBABLY LIKE A HALF AN HOUR.

WHY?

-UM, UM, IF YOU WANT TO...

BEEN DYING TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

-HIT ME.

-YOU EVER HEARD OF THIS APP CALLED BLENDR?

IT'LL LIST PEOPLE BY PROXIMITY.

YOU CAN MEET PEOPLE WHO WANT TO HOOK UP LIKE RIGHT NOW.

-WOW.

YOU AREDRUNK.

NO, I'VE NEVER HEARD OF IT.

LOOKS LIKE YOU.

I GOT TO GET THIS CLEANED UP.

-THERE'S NO SHAME IN IT.

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M SORRY. I...

IT'S JUST...

YOU LOOKED KIND OF MISERABLE TONIGHT.

I-I MEAN, I'M UP THERE, I'M GIVING MY READING,

I'M DOING MY THING, AND OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE,

I SEE THIS BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN

SITTING IN THIS MAGICAL COURTYARD,

AND SHE IS JUST WISHING SHE COULD BE ANYWHERE ELSE.

-SO, VIRGINIA, WHAT DO YOU DO?

-OH.

I'M DOING A FELLOWSHIP RIGHT NOW --

A STAY AT A WRITER'S PLACE.

-UH-HUH. OKAY.

WELL, IF YOU HAVE ANY FREE TIME

FROM WRITING VAGUELY ARGUMENTATIVE NONFICTION

OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU'RE DOING OVER THERE,

UM, WE SHOULD HANG OUT SOMETIME.

-YEAH, I'D LOVE TO.

BUT ACTUALLY, I'M IN BERLIN RIGHT NOW.

-WAIT. WHAT? YOU'RE IN BERLIN?

-YEAH. YEAH, NO, I AM. I AM.

THE FELLOWSHIP IS AT, UM --

THERE'S THE AMERICAN ACADEMY IN BERLIN.

YEAH.

I'LL BE BACK IN SIX MONTHS.

I JUST FEEL LIKE MY OWN WORST ENEMY SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW?

-YEAH. I DO KNOW.

EVERYONE GOES THROUGH.

BUT I'M GONNA PROMISE YOU SOMETHING.

I SWEAR -- SCOUT'S HONOR --

YOU WILLMAKE IT ACROSS THAT RUBICON.

-AND ONE DAY, YOU'RE GONNA EMERGE OUT THE OTHER SIDE

A WHOLE PERSON --

FULL, BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL PERSON.

EVERYONE KNOWS IT.

-OH, MAN. THAT'S, UM -- WOW.

I WAS TOTALLY NOT EXPECTING THAT.

-LISTEN, IT WAS REALLY NICE TALKING TO YOU.

AND MAYBE WE COULD DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME.

-TOTALLY. I'D LO-- I'D LOVE THAT.

I HAD A GOOD TIME TALKING TO YOU, TOO.

HAVE A GOOD TIME IN BERLIN.

-I WILL.

-UM, YEAH, I'LL TALK TO YOU SOON.

-OKAY, YOU TOO, YEAH.

-OKAY. -BYE.

OKAY, HOLD UP.

WHAT ARE WE DOING?

WHAT ARE WE DOING?

-JUST TWO PEOPLE IN A COURTYARD.

-YEAH, I CAN'T REALLY DO THINGS LIKE THIS.

BUT -- BUT I THOUGHT...

I MEAN, AREN'T YOU -- -NO. NO.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

-Hey, you've reached Cody. Leave me a message.

-Cody?

Cody, I really need to talk to you, so can you call me please?

-Hey, you've reached Cody. Leave me a message.

-Hey, you've reached Cody. Leave me a message.

-Hey, you've reached Cody. Leave me a message.

-HEY, BACK UP!

-COME ON, MAN!

-WHAT THE FUCK?!

-COME ON, MAN!

-FUCK OFF!

-HEY, HEY!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! BACK OFF!

-RELAX! RELAX, MAN!

-HEY! HEY!

-GET OFF ME! NO!

NO, MAN! NO!

-HELLO?

-HELLO?

CODY?

PLEASE, PLEASE TALK TO ME.

PLEASE TALK TO ME.

FUCK! FUCK!

SO MUCH SMALLER IN REAL LIFE.

-YEAH, I THINK THE...SKYPE DISTORTS SPACE.

OH, HEY. -YEAH.

-I KNOW THAT.

DID YOU ACTUALLY GET THAT IN GERMANY?

-NO.

FLEA MARKET ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE.

REALLY IS SO MUCH SMALLER. IT'S WEIRD.

DO YOU MIND IF I GET A DRINK? -NO, HELP YOURSELF.

-OH, THE CORKSCREW IS IN -- -OH, I KNOW.

IT'S PRACTICALLY MY KITCHEN.

I DIDN'T PLAN IT.

I JUST SAID IT ONE TIME.

IT WORKED.

YOU EVER HEARD OF THIS THING CALLED BLENDR?

WELL, I DID THAT.

AND AFTER I DID IT, I STARTED THINKING ABOUT,

WHAT IF THERE WERE SOME OTHER SORT OF BLENDR

WERE YOU COULD FIND PEOPLE THAT YOU WANT TO TALK TO RIGHT NOW

OR THAT YOU...WANT TO CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOW.

EVERY RELATIONSHIP I'VE EVER BEEN IN HAS ENDED BADLY.

AND THEY'VE ALL STARTED OUT REALLY WELL.

AND I GUESS I JUST THOUGHT,

MAYBE IF I HAD SOME SORT OF DISTANCING AGENT,

THAT I COULD MAKE IT WORK THIS TIME.

I'VE BEEN THINKING.

I KNOW THAT I DON'T COME BACK FOR FIVE MONTHS.

-YEAH.

BUT I LIKE YOU, AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU.

SO, I GUESS, I WAS, UM -- I WAS WONDERING...

I KNOW IT'S GOING TO SOUND INSANE BECAUSE I DON'T --

UH, WE'VE NEVER MET IN PERSON...

BUT I WAS WONDERING WHAT YOU WOULD THINK ABOUT US...

BEING TOGETHER --

LETTING ME HAVE EXCLUSIVE ACCESS TO YOUR EMOTIONAL RESERVOIR.

LIKE, YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT

HOW OPEN TO EVERYTHING YOU ARE,

AND I-I'M JUST -- I'M JUST GIVING YOU AN OPPORTUNITY HERE

TO PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH IS.

-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M...TOUCHING YOU.

TOUCHING YOU.

-YEAH? -YEAH.

-MM. I CAN FEEL IT.

OKAY.

YOU'RE WEIRD ENOUGH. LET'S DO IT.

-OKAY. YEAH.

WELL, I'LL HAVE MY LAWYER SEND YOU THE CONTRACT.

-OH, GOOD. YES, PLEASE.

I THINK THIS WAS A MISTAKE.

-HEY, CODY.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAW THAT GIRL ON THE SUBWAY --

YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT YOU THOUGHT WAS ME?

I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT RECENTLY,

AND, UM, IT LED ME TO WRITE SOMETHING.

I THOUGHT...

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.

"WE FILE INTO THE CAR, A PARADE OF TRAJECTORIES.

"YOU ARE ALREADY THERE, FACING INWARD.

"YOU DO NOT HIDE OR TURN AWAY, BUT FACE US --

"AN OBJECT LESSON IN SADNESS.

"SENECA -- I GET OFF.

"IMAGINE YOU ENTER A QUIET THEATER

"ALREADY DARKENED IN ANTICIPATION,

"AND YOU HEAR THE SOUNDS SO OFTEN DROWNED

"IN OUR DAILY RUSH OF MOVEMENT.

"THE TICK OF YOUR WATCH SURGES IN YOUR EARS,

"AND YOU ARE SURPRISED TO FIND

"IT IS EXACTLY IN TIME WITH THAT OF YOUR NEIGHBOR.

"TO HAVE SET THEM AT PRECISELY THE SAME INSTANT,

"WITH ALL OF THE INSTANTS TO HAVE CHOSEN FROM...

"APPLAUSE RISES FROM THE CROWD

"OR AN IMAGE APPEARS ON THE SCREEN,

"AND YOU CAN NO LONGER HEAR TIME PASS.

"WEEKS LATER, I STEP ONTO THE CAR --

"EYES SWOLLEN AND WET.

"YOU ARE ALREADY THERE.

"AND I SIT IN THE EMPTY SEAT BESIDE YOU.

"DON'T THINK I DON'T NOTICE YOUR FLEETING GLANCES

"TOWARDS MY DOWN-TURNED FACE,

"YOUR INQUISITIVE AND PITYING EYES.

"SENECA.

"ONE BACKWARD GLANCE AS YOU RISE.

"AND IN THE MOMENT BEFORE THE ENGINE REVS,

"IN THE SILENCE BEFORE THE CROWD MOVES FOR THE DOOR,

"I HEAR THE TICKING OF MY WATCH AND YOURS --

A QUARTER SECOND LATER."

"ONE BEAT OF A HEART MACHINE BROKEN IN TWO.

"AS YOUR FOOT REACHES THE GROUND,

THE DOORS CLOSE."