Original subtitles

What a day. Moving that guy all the way from the 13th floor.

Boy, am I exhausted.

Hope you didn't strain yourself carrying that duster. No, I can take it. All

right, get to work and put that lamp in the corner.

I think it ought to go against that wall.

The corner. The wall. The corner. The wall.

The corner. That's better.

Get busy now and don't drop anything.

A moustache. What an improvement.

Oh, paint.

What have you got in the hand?

Nothing.

Hatsuit!

Sneeze.

Five o 'clock.

I'm up. I'm up.

Gee, it must be great to be a private eye.

You're rough and you're tough. You've got to be ready for anything.

You always have a stubby little gun in the top drawer, just in case of trouble.

This guy's expecting a lot of trouble.

But what a life.

You could be relaxing just like this when a beautiful dame rushes in,

not knowing where to turn.

I'm in dreadful trouble. I'm desperate. I don't know where to turn.

I'm sorry, lady, but I... No, no, I won't take no for an answer. Strange men

following me.

They'd be strange if they didn't.

Don't you understand?

My life's in danger.

I can't make a move without... What

happened to him? Where'd he go?

Spread out.

Now she disappeared.

When you make a right turn, put your arm out.

Hey, fellas.

She left her bracelets.

And the note.

Please help me. Take my jewels. They're all I have. Come to 275 Mortuary Road

quickly or it will be too late.

We've got to help her.

Okay, but we'll give her back her bracelets.

This is my chance to be a private eye.

That poor kid is in trouble.

Well, Sherlock, how are you going to handle the case?

Easy, I'll use my wits. Now, she's really in trouble.

Oh, yeah? I ought to let you have it.

Well?

You can have it.

Thanks. Oh!

Look what you did. I'm not finished. Oh!

Come on, get going.

your young assistant professor.

I'm afraid she's... Not now, Ralph. This is more important.

We're on the verge of almost critical tests. If this succeeds, we'll make

thousands of them. An army of mechanical men.

Oh,

I've failed again.

And that's the third head he's ruined. Don't worry, sir. With a bit more

research... No, Ralph. It's the same old story. You simply can't see where he's

going.

What he needs is a human head.

With a brain.

I propose to get one.

Come with me, Ralph. I want to show you something.

There.

This will do the job neatly and cleanly.

Look.

See?

That's all there is to it.

Have I only had a human head?

No, no.

Ralph? No, no. No brain for science?

But I haven't got any brains.

You've told me so yourself, remember?

Is it his?

It's funny, no answer. Well, nobody's home. Let's go.

Wait a minute. You wanted to be a private eye. Now you've got to go

it. Ah, three of them.

There's the answer to your problem.

That's you right, Ralph. Show the mean. Show the mean.

Besides, that little girl's in trouble. We've got to get to the bottom of it.

Will you hit one?

Wait a minute.

Come in, gentlemen.

Come in.

Remake yourselves at home.

Your hats?

No, we'll hold on to them.

Where's the young lady that lives in this house? Young lady?

About five feet two?

With golden hair?

Yes. Blue eyes?

Yes, yes.

Long curling lashes?

Yes, yes, yes.

Haven't seen her.

Now, wait a minute. We know the girl's here. Come clean, buddy, or we'll...

Suppose you step in and see the master.

Perhaps he can help you.

Okay. Just a moment, gentlemen.

One at a time.

The professor doesn't like crowds.

Nice high forehead.

You. Just a minute.

I'm the brains of this outfit.

Brains.

Come with me.

Don't go away, gentlemen.

We may need all of you.

I don't like the looks of that guy. Neither do I.

You keep your eye on them. I'll go look for the girl.

This is the best of the lot, Professor.

Which isn't saying very much.

Thank you, thank you. I see.

That will be all, Ralph.

Yeah, that'll be all, Ralph.

Queer sort of a duck. Yes.

You're all right.

Hey, what's this all about?

There's a young lady here, and we want to... In due time, my dear sir, in due

time. First, I want you to look down that hole, where you'll be surprised.

What have I got to lose?

Sort of a garbage disposal. I didn't see anything.

Well, take a good long look.

You got a kid? You got a toothache? Help me out of here.

What'd you say?

Will, I take this off.

Oh, thank goodness you got here. You're not a minute too soon.

Will, untie me.

Oh, okay.

a guy can get his head cut off around here.

You'll find it in the bucket.

Oh, thanks.

Those men are fiends. Look.

Two men escaped state hospital. All points alarm goes out.

Well, you can stop worrying, sister.

Nothing is going to happen while I'm around.

I don't see nothing.

Gone again.

What makes her so restless?

Got him.

Moe, is your head okay?

Yeah, yeah, pretty good. What'd you hit me with? This.

Oh, pewter.

Yeah, it's antiquated.

Oh, I found a girl, all right, but she disappeared.

That's it, disappear.

That's what we gotta do. Come on.

What is that?

Give me a hand, will you?

Give me a hand.

Oh, I will suffocate you.

Oh, goodness.

Thanks, Larry. I nearly... Oh!

Hospital, quick.

Consult your directory, please.

Listen, operator, I ain't got no directory.

Look behind you, please.

Central section, northeastern section, western section. If I don't hurry, we'll

all be in section. Maybe it's in here.

State Hospital. Here we are, Main 2468.

Main 2468, Main 2468, Main 2468.

Operator, I want Main... Main... How do you like that?

Our main 2468. Now we'll have action.

I got it, operator. It's main 2468.

Larry, is that you?

They caught him and he's still talking.

What's the matter with him? I'm still in one piece.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Don't go away.

Yeah.

How do you like that?

What's the matter with that egghead?

Nervous, I guess.

Yeah. I say, would you mind opening this?

Why, certainly.

It's a high hat.

Hey,

that was Moe.

He got away. I got the professor locked in the closet, see?