Original subtitles

But you're gonna be late again.

We were just leaving, Ma.

...as I lead...

What kind of pies do you have?

Well, we got apple, pecan, cherry, key lime.

Which do you recommend?

Well, key lime's great, but it's an acquired taste.

It's an acquired taste.

Well, I ain't had key lime pie in 10 years.

When you had it, did you like it?

No, but that don't mean much.

I was a completely different person back then.

Let's give that key lime pie a day in court,

and a big ol' glass of nonfat milk, if you please.

Should I make that two pieces?

Nada, Rosie.

My name's not Rosie, it's Mabel.

Whatever.

Goddamn, this sumbitch is runnin' hot.

Well, y'all go on inside. I'm gonna check it out.

Alrighty, get a cold one for you.

Good God almighty, what the hell is that?

That is a bitch outta hell, son.

Take a run at her, kiddo.

Miller, Mabel.

Right, comin' up.

That's some sweet piece of meat, ain't it?

Her name's...

Mallory.

Mallory, whatever, who gives a shit?

I call it pussy.

Hell's bells, don't stop now, darling.

I'm just gettin' started.

Hey, I think she's sweet on you.

Are you flirting with me?

Beep, beep.

Fuck!

You want a piece of me, darlin', do ya?

Your move, your move, fucker, go!

Yeah, this stupid!

Down!

Shit!

You son of a bitch.

It's not polite to point.

Just 'cause my woman's mopping up the floor

with your buddy's no reason for you to join in.

How sexy am I now, huh, flirty boy?

How sexy am I now?

Beep, beep.

Damn!

Why are they always fuckin' with me?

Honey, come on, we did it.

I just wanna dance, fucker!

No!

There's no escaping here!

Who's the lucky one?

Eanie, meanie, minie, moe,

catch a redneck by its toe.

If he hollers, let him go.

- Eanie, meanie, minie, moe. - No!

- My mama... - Hey, hey, hey!

...told me to pick the best one,

and you are it!

Ooh.

When them people come here and they ask you who done this,

you tell 'em Mickey and Mallory Knox did it, all right?

Say it!

Mickey and Mallory Knox did it.

Mickey and Mallory Knox.

I love you, Mickey.

I love you, Mallory!

The stars are coming out.

Look up in the brassy sky, and there they are

like gloomy pocket change

you bet on something you wish you had 10,000 to bet on.

Something where the odds are good.

Betting all those stars,

you don't win shit, and there's a movie, and another movie.

Fortune telling signs,

two in white coveralls,

three clean women getting out of a car,

going into a door.

One of the cops looks at me, and I shake my head no.

Whole world's coming to an end, Mal.

I see angels, Mickey.

They're coming down for us from heaven.

And I see you ridin' a big red horse,

and you're driving the horses, whippin' 'em,

and they're spittin' and frothin' all on the mouth,

and they're comin' right at us.

And I see the future.

There's no death, 'cause you and I, we're angels.

That is poetry.

Damn.

I love you, Mal.

I know you do, baby.

I've loved you since the day we met.

Hi Dad, how was work?

What work?

I'm unemployed.

Where the have you been, huh?

Well, you look nice, Mallory.

Yuck, you look like a.

Thanks, Mom.

Well, I'm gonna go now.

I'll be back at midnight, okay?

What are you wearing, a broomstick and a trash bag?

Why don't you put some meat on ya, huh?

A few pounds lighter, you'll be Miss Ethiopia.

Where the hell do you think you're going, huh?

I'm going to the John Lee Hooker concert with Donna.

I told you that yesterday.

First off, you don't tell me anything.

You ask my permission.

Second, you're not going out in that whorehouse dress.

You'll end up peddling your ass, you stupid bitch.

And third, you're not going out at all.

You didn't mow the yard.

That piece of shit lawnmower is fucked!

This is how you talk in front of your mother?

You stupid bitch.

You watch your language,

or I'll kick the shit outta ya, like I do her.

So if your ass is in this house, it's my ass.

So you move it upstairs and take a shower,

and you make sure it's a good shower,

'cause I'm coming up after, to see how clean you are.

Mommy!

Don't you think you're a little hard on her, Ed?

I'll show her a little tenderness, after I eat.

When I get up there, she won't see my face for an hour.

Darling, I think you should speak nicely

in front of Kevin.

Don't think, you're a idiot.

What am I, a bad guy?

Did I ever ask ya to my friends, huh?

And don't tell me what to do.

If it wasn't for me, you'd still be slinging hash

in that shithouse and fucking your boss.

Oh, that must be Donna.

I'll tell her the bad news.

Don't let your macaroni get cold, Ed.

Yes?

Delivery for Ed Wilson?

What on earth is it?

It's beef, lady, 50 pounds of beef.

Well, you wait right here.

I have to have a word with my husband.

Who are you?

Mickey, who're you?

I'm Mallory.

You ought to change your name to beautiful.

You a big meat-eater, Mallory?

I could be.

You always dress like that, or you just waiting for me?

Why would I be dressed like this for somebody I don't know?

Maybe something inside you told you to, you know?

Like fate?

You believe in fate, Mallory?

Maybe.

You don't look too happy.

Wanna go for a ride, talk about it?

Now Ed, you promised your doctor no more meat.

I eat what I want, so what?

I mean, this food here, you pray after you eat.

It's just that I don't want you to clog up your arteries

and just keel over here at the table.

Now don't cry, it turns me off!

I haven't cried in 15 years, and you still haven't touched me!

How 'bout him?

You were drunk, and you thought you were in Mallory's room.

That's why we have Kevin.

What, you mean Mallory's my mom?

I'm sending the meat back, Ed,

and I don't care what you do to me.

You know what I'll do to ya, I'll...

Ed, look.

What's it say?

"Out with the meat man, back before dawn, love Mallory."

Ooh, that stupid bitch.

Ed, they stole your car.

My car?

Ooh, that meat man cocksucker.

I broke her in, and he grabbed her.

I'll fix his ass too. Call the cops, come on!

Everything I see, I see you, Mal.

I know, baby.

I'm going crazy too.

Even ugliness looks beautiful 'cause of you.

Even though I'm in here, I visit you every night.

Listen, Mickey?

My daddy, he's going to move us away

so that you can't never find me.

I'm scared.

He can't keep me away from you.

Okay?

He said if you ever show up,

he's gonna kill you.

Kill me?

When's this supposed to happen?

Can I help you?

He won't leave me alone.

He keeps fuckin' touching me, and I can't take it.

I have to go, 'cause if he finds out I'm gone,

he's gonna beat me and everything.

I just wanted to tell ya I love you, and I miss you,

and don't forget about me.

You won't forget about me?

I won't forget about you.

It's cool.

No matter where he takes you, Timbuktu,

it don't matter, 'cause we're fate.

You know?

Nobody can stop fate, nobody can.

One of these nights soon,

I'm gonna be coming for you.

I gotta go.

I love you.

Tornado, tornado!

Move, move, move, move!

All right you guys, get on the goddamn bus, now!

Move! Move! Get on the fucking bus!

Hey, ah, ah, whoa!

Stop!

Hey!

Yah, hah, hah, hah, hah!

Stop or I'll shoot!

Yah, yah!

- Delivers a mighty... - Break his arm.

There's no action here. What am I watching, two fuckin' fags?

Just playing with him.

Kill him, kill the fuckin' Indian.

Tatanka moving around the ring.

Where the fuck do you think you're going?

I'm going out!

You ain't goin' nowhere.

Hey, Jack.

Mickey's back.

Well, just the prick I wanna see.

Mighty have fallen!

Spike's, Spike, oh, Spike looks like he's hurt, Dave.

All right, fuckface.

Now I'm gonna take your eye out and show it to you.

You stupid bitch, you stupid fucking bitch!

You will shut up, you will eat your food,

you will listen to me!

Are you clean?

Are you sloppy and wet?

You stupid bitch!

He's dead, he's dead!

Now where's the old bag?

He's dead, he's dead!

Hi, Mom.

You never did nothin'.

Please, no!

Wait.

You're free, Kevin.

Wherever we go, and whatever happens, Mickey,

when I look up at the stars,

I'll know you're looking up at the same ones.

Same ones, baby.

You make every day feel like kindergarten.

All right!

I think we should get a whole bunch of stuff,

because I need a whole new wardrobe,

'cause I'm a new woman now.

- All right, hon. - I'm a new woman!

She's a new woman!

Past is behind us now.

It's time to grow up.

We got the road to hell in front of us.

Mal?

Yes?

Will you marry me?

Of course I'll marry you.

I've been waiting for you to say that for so long.

But where are we gonna get married?

Right here, Mal.

This is our church.

I got the perfect thing.

Give me your hand.

That's not what I had in mind.

Fuck you!

Ow.

Okay, put 'em together.

That's very romantic, baby.

We'll be living in all the oceans now.

God, before you and this river, this mountain,

and everything we don't know about,

Mickey do you take Mallory to be your lawful wedded wife

to have, and hold, and treat right until you die?

I do.

Oh, baby.

Mallory?

Do you take Mickey to be your...

Ain't gonna murder anybody on our wedding day.

Fuck you, god!

I do.

For all eternity, until you and I die,

and die, and die again.

'Til death do us part.

- Yes! - Baby?

By the power vested in me as God of my world,

pronounce us husband and wife.

After that, there was just no stopping Mickey and Mallory.

They tore up the countryside with a vengeance right outta the Bible.

Tonight, I'm standing on Highway 666,

running through towns like Cortez, Shiprock, Sheep Springs,

and ending in Gallup, New Mexico.

To some, a beautiful stretch of the American landscape,

but to Mickey and Mallory Knox, who are still at large,

it is literally a candy lane of murder and mayhem.

Patrolman Gerald Nash was just the first

of 12 peace officers that Mickey and Mallory murdered

during their reign of terror.

Gerald and his partner, Dale Wrigley,

were parked at this doughnut shop, Alfie's Donuts, when...

This 1970 Dodge Challenger pulled up

across the street from the doughnut shop.

Gerald was only three weeks out of the academy.

He come walking out with a coffee.

Thanks, folks.

And my bear claw.

Hey, you!

Driver asked him a question.

How the hell do you get to Farmington?

Looked like he was giving street directions.

Go down to 324, take it over to 66,

and Farmington's up about 65 miles, quick ride.

You folks going there?

When he finished, and waved him thanks,

then up come that shotgun.

You cop-killing cocksuckers!

Woo!

In the ensuing chase, a tragic murder occurred.

American bronze medalist marathon bicyclist...

Woo!

Woo, I always wanted to take a shot at one of 'em.

They're not so easy to hit.

We really raped and pillaged the first show to do this.

Well, we changed the order around so it wouldn't be super obvious.

It still needs a new intro in my opinion, Wayne.

You can't cannibalize yourself all the time.

Repetition works, David.

It's gonna wind up with shit.

Repetition works, Davey, okay?

Do you think that those nitwits

out there in zombie land remember anything?

This is junk food for the brains.

It's, you know, filler, fodder, whatever.

Look, just build to the interview, okay?

Keep saying that word, live interview with Wayne Gale!

Anticipation, David.

That's what it's all about.

What do you think of Mickey and Mallory, huh?

- Hot. - They're hot.

Totally hot.

I love Mickey and Mallory.

They're so cool, they're so great!

Mickey and Mallory are the best thing

to happen to mass murder since Manson.

Yeah, but they're way cooler.

It's like all the great figures from the States.

Elvis, Jack Kerouac.

- James Dean. - Dean.

They're super cool.

Mickey.

Jim Morrison, Jack Nicholson.

Add a bloody pail of nitro and you've got Mickey and Mallory.

I'm not saying I believe in mass murder or that shit, but...

Don't get us wrong.

Yeah you know, we respect human life and all.

But, if I was a mass murderer, I'd be Mickey and Mallory.

I haven't seen a cop for 10 minutes.

Well?

Is there such thing as a cop-less town?

That'd be paradise, wouldn't it?

Shangri-La.

You wanna get us a hostage?

No.

What about her?

From here?

What about her?

Too heavy, too fat?

What's the matter?

Well.

Do you think I'm still sexy?

Oh man, we might have to find us a motel here soon.

Soon as I see one that looks nice,

I'm gonna put my little honey bunny bride down on the bed,

and tie her up.

Offering a present in the form of a flower.

Wanna go out and get something to eat?

No, let's stay in.

We got plenty of action here.

You know what I been thinking about, baby?

Course I know.

You've been thinking about rolling around

in that big sunflower patch outside of Tulsa.

How'd you know?

And you been thinking about cuttin' your hair short.

And you've been thinking about us settling down on a boat,

middle of a big lake with a dog, and a jukebox,

and a 26 inch Sony Trinitron.

Baby, I love it when you can read my mind.

I bet I know what you been thinkin' about.

Yep, I've been thinking about

why they're making all these stupid fuckin' movies.

Anybody out there in Hollywood believe in kissin' anymore?

Love you, baby.

I love your knee,

love your thigh,

love your stomach,

love your finger.

Where is it?

Goddamn it, Mickey.

I just took it off

so it wouldn't snag my hair when I washed it.

Okay baby, look.

Even if that ring pulls out

every hair on your head, it stays on.

If it tears out my eyeballs, it never comes off.

Every great thing we do starts with these.

All right.

Since you put it that way.

The impulse for sexual reproduction

is strong and unique.

That's what makes our planet...

Why are you looking at her?

I'm going for a ride.

Oh, baby? Uh...

Hold on, I thought maybe we could just throw her into the mix.

Shut up, shut up!

Quit being so fucking cute!

You can be cute all by yourself, little Mickey.

So fuckin' pretty.

You go fuck her.

Maybe I just will!

Can we have some fun?

No!

Give me back my fuckin ' money, man!

Fill her up.

Can I look at that car?

Go ahead.

That'll be 17 bucks, lady.

It's a nice Vette.

Wait a second.

Don't I know you?

I don't think so.

Do you wanna touch me?

Yes.

Tell me you want me.

I want you.

Tell me I'm beautiful.

Oh, you are beautiful.

- Am I beautiful? - So beautiful, I can't stop.

Am I sexy?

Yes.

So sexy.

Go down.

Holy shit, you're Mallory Knox, ain't ya?

Please!

That's the worst fuckin' head I ever got in my life!

Next time don't be so fuckin' eager.

Yeah, it's called Scagnetti on Scagnetti.

It's probably in your local bookstore, you know?

- Yeah. - You should buy it.

I will.

- An author too, huh? - Yeah.

My wife could never wear these.

Now that is a perfect ass.

It's nice.

There's her arm, her head.

Dry saliva drops here, see?

Ah, that's my type of girl, I like her.

See what we got here, Scooter.

Give it up.

Mallory Knox, meet Jack Scagnetti.

Hey, exactly where do you expect us to be going right now?

Where exactly are we supposed to be?

What town is it that's out here?

Oh fuck, it's the fuckin' cheese.

Quit lookin' in the rearview like that, sit back.

Put the lighter on the floor.

Put the lighter on the floor, Mickey.

Bury the bag.

Mal?

- I'm all right. - Would you relax?

Make a left up here, I think there's a town.

All I see is desert.

That's right, Cochise.

Go eat some more fried bread.

Give me some shrooms, Mal.

Mine ain't kickin' in yet.

Turn left?

Turn left to what, you stupid bitch?

Aw, "you stupid bitch."

"You stupid bitch"?!

You stupid bitch, Mickey!

That's what my father used to call me!

Thought you'd be more creative than that.

You're losing it, Mickey, you're losing it.

Snakes, birds, ain't nothin' out here.

Right now, I'd go down on a lawman for a gallon of gas.

Let me tell you something, it's the 1900s, all right?

In this day and age, a man has to have choices.

A man has to have a little bit of variety.

What are you talkin' about, variety?

Hostages?

You wanna fuck some other women now?

Is that what you're talking about, Mickey?

Why'd you pick me up, why'd you take me

out of my fuckin' house, and kill my parents with me?

Ain't you committed to me?

Where are we fuckin' going?

Just relax, all right?

It's me, your lover, not some demon,

not your father, all right, relax.

No, you're not my fuckin' lover,

you're not my fuckin'... you been loving me,

you've been fuckin' lovin' me, huh?

You've been loving me real fucking good!

Hey, listen.

We got tobacco, lots of tobacco if, uh,

you got any gas we can buy?

I don't think he speaks English, Mickey.

Yeah, push come to shove,

we can snatch that donkey and ride on outta here.

Come on in.

Come on in.

Oh!

Oh my god!

Is that a friendly snake?

It's a rattlesnake.

Um.

My name is Mallory.

This is Mickey.

How.

You doing?

We're not from here.

It's kinda like The Twilight Zone or something.

Oh.

Oh, he died?

That was your baby, huh?

Feel demons here, Mal?

I think we're the demons.

Who're you out there fuckin'?

- Your father. - Get away, you bitch!

No, no.

Oh, no.

I said shut up!

Come here, peckerhead.

Oh no, don't hit me.

Mom?

Mom!

I hate you, you little asshole!

I can't, I can't.

- This is so bad! - Shit!

- What did you do, Mickey? - I didn't mean it!

Oh god!

Mal!

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad!

- Come on, Mal. - Bad, bad, bad!

That was bad.

Okay, okay.

Get it together now.

It's all right.

Just get on outta here.

Come on!

Come on, Mal!

Mal?

Let's go!

Come on!

Why, why, what did you do that for?

It was an accident.

This whole fuckin' thing was crazy, I don't know.

There are no accidents, Mickey!

I'm human, Mal, and I made a mistake,

- and you've gotta understand... - You are death!

You killed life!

He fed us, he took us in there!

Mal, that is a harsh indictment.

Mal, oh!

Hold it, hold, hold it!

- Leave me alone, I'm going! - Snakes, Mal!

No, Mal, hang on!

- Okay, you okay? - I got bit!

- Okay, hold on Mal! - Shit!

My baby!

Come on there, Mal!

I think there's more!

- I know, hang on, hang on! - Mickey, there's more.

- Oh shit! - Stay right there, Mal.

I gotcha.

- There's more, there's, oh my god! - My god!

What have we done?

- Hop on, Mal. - Ow.

You know something?

Badasses don't die, Mal.

I'm seeing things, baby stop it, let's stop it!

Stop!

It's okay.

Just dreaming and shit, just a dream, Mal.

My name's Pinky.

Oh yeah, I remember now.

My brother gave me this name when I was about six or so.

He said, "Wow, you're about as big as my little pinky."

I really don't like these cheap motels, give me the creeps.

Say, are you a real cop?

I'm a real cop.

You're not gonna hurt me, are ya?

Oh, I never hurt anything in my whole life.

I'm the law, okay?

I'm your protector.

Come on over here.

Come here, come on over here,

take off them shoes.

You look pretty.

Step up on the bed, go slow.

That's nice. Move around.

Yeah, you like that?

Take off your bra.

Wow, that's nice.

Come here, come on down here and give me a kiss.

Give me a kiss, give big Jack a kiss.

- You like me? - Yeah.

I like you.

Come on, Pinky.

You ever been strangled?

Hey, I was just kidding.

Come on, I'm just kidding.

Come here, give me a kiss.

Give me a kiss.

I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

I'm just joking.

Damn it, I was just joking!

Come here, I'm just kidding.

I'm just, ah!

Fucking bitch.

Mickey!

I'm comin' to get ya.

I'm not gonna make it.

I feel so cold.

Gonna make it, Mal, get mad.

Just go get the stuff, just go get the stuff, then.

All right.

Once they were average citizens,

living drab, nothing-ever-happens lives.

But then, these sweethearts began a cross country murder spree,

which has lasted only three terrifying weeks,

but has left 48 known bodies in its wake,

including Mallory's own mum and dad.

Oh shit.

All needlessly...

Excuse me?

Aloha.

...macabre fantasies of these murderers.

Uh, chief?

Yeah, rattlesnake took a chunk outta us a ways back,

and me and my wife are pretty sick.

Could be dying, you never can tell about these things,

so how's about you ungluing your fat ass from that boob tube

and getting us some snake juice, pronto?

...depraved and sick actions.

They started off as armed robbers,

- but their idea of... - Found it yet?

They stormed in with shotguns,

and after liberating the establishment

of all the firearms they could carry,

and various personal idiosyncratic knick-knacks,

they killed every customer in the place without hesitation.

- Hey, come on out! - ...take your head off.

Come on, I want money faster, fast... too slow.

But they always leave one clerk alive

to tell the tale of Mickey and Mallory.

I'll be damned.

Mal!

Shit.

Mal, come!

Hurry, I'll meet you out front with the car, okay?

Get the car, I'll get the snake bite juice!

Please!

Well, that was sweet.

Snake juice.

We don't carry it, hospital!

Yohimbe, does this shit keep you hard?

I'm the only clerk left.

I'm the only clerk left!

- You're forgetting something. - What's that?

If I don't kill you, what is there to talk about?

- Fuckin' squealer. - No!

I forgive you, baby.

Damn it!

All right, get off him!

Mal?

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

Shut the fuck up!

- Get the fuck down. - Come on, come on!

Hey, you bonehead sissy!

This is Jack Scagnetti, now you put that gun down...

Fuck you, Scagnetti!

No! I'll cut her tits off!

Go ahead, Scagnetti!

We'll get her some silicone implants!

I swear to god, I'll cut her fuckin' tits off,

right here, right now!

Go ahead, you ain't got the balls!

Don't give up, he ain't gonna do...

Shut the fuck up!

Watch this!

Hey, you like that?

Okay, okay!

- Then put that gun down! - Don't cut her!

Put your hands where I can see them and step out in the light!

Oh, come o...

All right, I'm comin' out!

Put your hands where I can see 'em.

That's a good boy.

Now step out in the light, come on!

Yeah, get out here.

Step outside, bigshot.

All right.

Someone come get this bitch, get this bitch.

Come on, get the big, bad wolf.

Come on, come on in, get in here.

You're in my light, motherfucker.

- Oh, my face! - Cease fire, hold your fire!

Hold your fire!

Fuck!

Hold your fire, hold your fire, don't kill him!

Don't kill him, I'm gonna fuck him.

No, do not kill him!

One camera all you can muster, Jack?

You ain't that big a star yet, you cocksucker.

Hold on, hold on, you're on.

You and me, one on one, let's go.

Fuck you, yeah, bring it, bring it, bring it!

Fry this cop killer!

How's that feel, bigshot?

We nailed that cop killer.

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

Kick that motherfucker's ass!

All right, hey Mickey.

Want a drink?

- Fuck you! - Just joking.

Where's my baby?

Where is she?

Let her go, hey, let her go, let her go.

You okay, baby?

Yeah, come here.

Hey, no pictures, no pictures!

Clear the area!

- Always wanted to meet you, Scagnetti. - Aw.

I really respect you.

You know what?

I even bought your book,

and I read the whole goddamn thing.

Oh yeah?

How 'bout an autograph?

Warden?

Jack Scagnetti.

There you go.

Dwight McClusky, welcome to hell.

Great to meet you, warden.

So, how the hell are my two favorite assholes?

Oh, we got them two ratfucks back up in there.

I guess you wanna see 'em?

- Why not? - Go on.

- I seen you on TV. - Oh yeah?

Yeah, I even went and read your goddamn book. I'm impressed.

- Surprised Hollywood ain't found you yet. - Oh.

Your story'd make a lot better movie than that Serpico shit.

I'll tell you something, Scagnetti.

In all of my days in the penal business,

and that ain't no small amount of days, right boys?

- Oh no. - Nope.

Mickey and Mallory Knox are without a doubt

the most twisted, depraved pair of shit fucks

it has ever been my displeasure to lay my goddamn eyes on.

I'm telling you, these two motherfuckers are a walking reminder

of just how fucked up this system really is.

Don't get me started, okay warden?

Don't get me started.

Dwight, you call me Dwight.

They killed a shitload of inmates and guards?

Three inmates, five guards,

and one shrink all in one year's time.

Open that goddamn gate.

Psychiatrist?

Yeah, Mickey's better half, Miss Mallory, strangled his ass

when he made the dumb-ass mistake of asking what her parents were like,

and she done it all shot up on tranquilizers too.

Ain't love grand?

Ain't that the truth?

It's like that other big lie,

love makes the world go round.

Hey, I need to talk to you about...

How's a fella like you get to be a specialist in psychos, anyway?

Well actually, Dwight, I'd recommend having your mother killed by one.

After that happened,

I developed a rather keen interest in the subject, you know?

What happened?

After I was born,

I spent the first part of my life in Texas.

That's funny, you don't have an accent.

I don't wanna talk like those assholes.

My mother was from Texas.

I meant those other assholes,

the ones who used to beat the shit outta me.

Oh.

Anyway, one day when I was eight years old...

I wrote you five letters about...

My mother, I went out to play in this park.

Go off!

...same day Charles Whitman

had climbed to the top of the University of Texas tower

and started shooting strangers.

- And you was with her? - Sure was.

See the thing is, Dwight, I didn't hear any of the shots.

I didn't hear any of it.

Now one minute I'm walking with my mother, and all of a sudden,

chest explodes, she hits the ground, right?

And I'm just looking at her.

Her forearm flies off, her hip explodes,

and I'm not hearing any of these shots.

Ah, you fuckin'!

Boom!

Chest explodes, right?

I spent all goddamn day lying flat on the grass,

being eaten alive by fuckin' ants and thinking

"What happened to my mom," you know?

And ever since then, I've had a strong opinion

about the psychopathic fringe

that thrives today in America's fast food culture.

I tend not to exhibit the self-discipline, you know,

becoming of a peace officer.

You got it right, Jack, you got it right.

So you don't mind, do you, if I call you Jack?

Block zero three about to return.

We got an army of shrinks in here talks about mania,

and schizophrenia, multi-phrenia, and obsessions,

and it makes me sick.

It's all pride, it's arrogance, it's bullshit.

And I'll tell you this, Mickey and Mallory Knox

are the sickest I ever seen.

- Open that. - Yes, sir.

Tonight's movie will be Escape from the Planet of the Apes.

So why me, Dwight?

What's this really about?

Can you feel it, Jack?

- Silence in the air? - Yeah?

It's the one thing you don't want in prison, Jack.

Silence.

Boys all right?

What the fuck is you lookin' at?

Boys all right?

I said, what the fuck is you lookin' at?

- Drop it! - Try this on, big boy.

Try it on there, you son of a bitch, now come on up here.

Boy! Come on up here, goddamn, get over here.

Ah, goddamn it.

By god, stick his ass in that block for a month

then bring him to see me.

You all right?

Jesus Christ, Dwight,

you could be on American Gladiators.

30 minutes a day, just shaking, rolling, it doesn't take much.

Somebody goes for you, you go right straight for the throat.

Chop the throat.

Mickey and Mallory did this to them.

They got my whole goddamn prison worked up.

Like sharks to chum, smell of blood drives 'em nuts.

80% of these assholes are violent offenders.

We're over 200% capacity.

This ain't a prison anymore, Jack, it's a time bomb.

Fry the pricks.

Look we tried, and every time we do,

they kill somebody new and we gotta start

the whole goddamn legal process all the hell over again.

Sounds like a hemorrhoid you can't get rid of there, Dwight.

That's why we're sending 'em for testing to Nystrom with you.

Lobotomy Bay, vegetable land, home of the criminally insane.

That hasn't been done in years.

We got a stage one ruling.

Of course, it won't stick with all these asshole do-good shrinks around,

but it will get 'em under your control

for a couple of hours.

And then what?

You're a celebrated lawman, public loves you.

15 years on the force.

Bestseller out in paperback.

Modern day Pat Garrett with a deadly ax to grind with maniacs.

And that is why you have been chosen to deliver Mr. and Mrs. Knox.

Now we, the prison board, know that once you get 'em on the road,

- if anything should happen... - An accident?

- Fire. - Escape attempt.

Anything.

Our Jack "Supercop" Scagnetti will be there

to look after his public's best interest.

I'm getting the picture here, Dwight.

Then of course, nobody in their right mind's

gonna cry for these two pig fuckers

if they happen to take a little lead.

A lotta lead, Jack.

Now you write the script, you call it anything you want to.

Showdown in Mojave,

The Extermination of Mickey and Mallory Knox.

I don't give a shit, I'm gonna give you my two best men,

Kavanaugh and Wurlitzer.

We got a special dislikin' for these punkolas.

Have we found our man?

You know her, you love her,

you cannot fucking live without her, Mallory Knox.

Hey, Knox.

Jesus Christ!

Don't worry about it, she does this all the time.

She ain't changed a bit, huh?

So, where's the other half?

Oh, we got his stinkin' ass

in the deepest, darkest cell in the whole dungeon.

Just so happens you can't see him right now.

He's got a very special visitor.

Oh yeah, who's that?

Wayne Gale.

Wayne Gale, the TV scumbag?

We call him media, Jack.

Why, don't you like the media?

A worm in my blood still has got more attraction to me

than that, okay Dwight?

The guy lives to fuck cops over.

Can't say no to the media, Jack.

You want this job,

you come say hello.

I have a television show,

and every couple weeks we do, you know,

as part of our thing about current America,

we do a profile on a different serial killer.

Technically mass murderer.

Well, whatever you want.

Anyway, the episode we did on Mickey and Mallory,

it was one of our most popular ones.

Ever do one on John Wayne Gacy?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

Who got the higher rating?

Oh, you blew him away.

What about that crazy motherfucker, Ted Bundy?

Oh, that crazy guy?

No, you got the larger Nielsen share.

You're big, you know.

- What I want to get to... - What about Manson?

Manson beat ya.

Well, it's pretty hard to beat the king.

Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, Julie, my producer and I,

we've been waiting for a long time

to do a follow-up episode on you,

and that time has definitely come.

Anyway, I feel it's apparent to anyone who's hip to what's going on

that these prison boys have thrown the Constitution

straight out the fucking window.

You and Mallory may be killers, but nuts, insane?

Today, they wipe clean your mind

because they feel that your actions are dangerous.

Tomorrow, they wipe clean my mind or dump me into fuckin' syndication

because they feel what I say is dangerous.

Where does it all end?

Now, I have interviews with the prison board,

and with the psychiatrist, Emil Reingold.

And with that warden, Dwight McClusky,

and I'll tell ya, Mickey, they look bad.

Now, you give an exclusive to Wayne Gale.

We are talking a media event here.

Promos on the Super Bowl, you know?

A network will cream for it.

Oh my god, what a great idea, Julie.

We're talking about nothing less than television history.

The first sit down, in depth interview

with the most charismatic serial killer ever,

one day before he's being shipped away

to a mental hospital for the rest of his life.

This is Wallace and Noriega.

This is Elton John confessing

his bisexuality to Rolling Stone.

This is the Maysles brothers at Altamont.

This is the fucking Nixon/Frost interviews.

What do you say, mate?

I why in the hell you let this scumbag do this, Dwight.

Oh, relax.

If I don't, we'll be excoriated in the press.

If I do, it'll still be weeks before they clear it.

Legal appeals.

And M&M are gonna be toast

before that ever happens, right Jack?

Nobody's gonna give a flyin' fuck about two dead losers.

What do you say?

- Time, motherfucker. - Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on, leave him alone.

Hey, hey, come on!

Leave him alone, he's a human being for Christ's sake.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, let him answer me!

Time's running out, mate.

What's the answer?

I say go for it.

Well, in any case, he says yes.

I thought he would, but we're gonna have to keep contact

with the population to a minimum.

Okay, no worries mate.

You just give me a large room, I'll take it from there.

We are stealth journalists.

If I was you, I'd worry more about the promos

that start hitting the air next week.

You'll be a national face, warden.

I mean, a real hero to the American public.

- Naw. - It's true!

Who knows, something like this could even launch a new career for you.

Nah.

Anyway, Julie, my producer, is gonna fax you in the morning

with the details.

I gotta get back to the rotten apple.

I'm doing a benefit tonight for homeless transsexual veterans.

Dearest Mallory, you once told me I had no feelings.

You were right, and you were wrong.

I got more feelings now than I ever had before.

I been reading a lot, and doing yoga with this guy,

but he pissed me off.

He's not around anymore.

At night, I pretend you're lying next to me.

I lie in my cell, and imagine kissing you.

Not making love, just kissing for hours and hours on end.

I remember everything about our time.

Remember every secret you ever shared.

I remember every single time you laughed.

And your dancing, my god, your dancing.

I lie on my bed, and go over every day,

and every minute of our happiness.

I take it all as it comes,

and I live that day again.

That way, when I get to our first kiss,

they're not just memories.

I feel that joy again.

Dr. Reingold, are they insane?

Insane?

No.

Psychotic, yes.

It's right after the Super Bowl.

We got 'em in their homes, the game has just sucked,

and they wanna see this guy, Mickey.

What's he like, what makes him tick?

...with violence.

You know, these guys wanna tear their wives' heads off!

Well yeah, some of them do.

Look, recent statistics are...

...know the difference between right and wrong.

They just don't give a damn.

This will be the most talked about event in television history!

They were sexually abused as children, Dr. Reingold.

Books will be written!

I can't imagine.

I don't think, I don't think that it's,

I would say no.

When you suggested that I marry your daughter

after I got her pregnant,

that's exactly what I did.

Now you listen to me.

If you blow this, CBS will be eating your lunch next season

and I'll be there with 'em, 'cause I'm outta here!

I'm out!

Yet Mallory Knox has said that she does want to kill you.

I never really believe what women say to me.

Maggie, Margaret, darling,

I don't know what you think you found,

but it's not what you think it is.

Just tell me who the hell Ming is.

Ming?

There's no Ming, that's a fuckin' restaurant.

And what do you mean going through my drawers?

I don't go through your drawers.

Davey, this looks like it was cut

with a fucking meat cleaver, and where's all my closeups?

Now, listen, less of the shrink.

Keep the teens, keep the long hairs,

I love the cop at the doughnut shop.

I love McClusky.

Cut in on him in the middle of that horrific fuckin' laugh.

Wait, freeze frame on him. Don't even let him answer.

Then cut to me at the trial.

Their subsequent trial turned into a sick, pathetic circus.

The nation caught Mickey and Mallory fire.

Mike Griffin is who these misguided

Should be revering.

Mike Tyrone Griffin was killed in the line of duty

by these sucking degenerate.

We want Mickey, we want Mallory!

We want Mickey, we want Mallory!

We want Mickey...

Hey, what do you think of this turnout, Mallory?

Woo, I never had more fun in my life.

Scumbag!

Scumbag alley!

Ming, Ming, first of all, slow down, speak English.

All right, English, English.

- You're paranoid. - She knows.

Nah, she's not onto us.

This stinks, darling.

I don't give a fuck what the I Ching says!

Just don't put anything down on paper, ever.

If she calls back you say, "Hello,

Ming Dynasty Restaurant Number Five, may I take your order?"

What do you have to say to your fans?

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

L-I-V-E, live!

How the hell did you let this show

go live, Dwight, for Christ's sake?

Couldn't help it, just got outta hand.

This doesn't change a goddamn thing though, Jack.

We're gonna move them scumbags in the morning,

just a bit ahead of schedule, that's all.

You know, Dwight,

when I do these two ratfucking douchebags,

I'll go right up there with Jack Ruby, huh?

World famous, huh?

Hall of fame.

You'll be bigger, Jack.

Lee Harvey Oswald was a pussy.

Oswald might have been a pussy, but he was a great shot.

Do you hear it, Jack?

Hear what?

It's dead quiet, dangerous when it's dead quiet.

Okay.

Testing, one, two, three, Wayne, don't blow this.

Hey, how goes it, brother.

Doing some hard time, huh?

What'd they get you for?

Murder.

Ah. Yeah, that's a rough one, man.

I'm with ya.

Showtime.

And Dallas, your Cowboys

are the Super Bowl champions.

Right after the game,

stay tuned for a special American Maniacs on WATCH.

Mickey Knox is the most dangerous man in America,

but Wayne Gale isn't afraid to meet him one on one

to learn what 48 people died for.

Is this man insane?

Or does he belong where he sent so many others,

in the grave?

Mickey Knox, thank you for this time.

I've got a few questions I'd like to start off with,

if you don't mind.

Well, let's roll the dice, Wayne.

Mickey Knox, when did you first start thinking about killing?

Birth.

I was thrown into a flaming pit of scum, forgotten by God.

What do you mean by that?

What do I mean? I mean I came from violence.

It's in my blood.

My dad had it, his dad had it.

It's all just my fate.

Do you believe in fate, boy?

My fate.

No one is born evil, Mickey.

It's something you learn.

What about your father, how did he die?

You were only 10 years old,

and there's a lot of speculation.

I didn't kill my father, and I don't wanna talk about...

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, watch it, watch it, watch it.

It's all right, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

It's all right.

Go on to something else, okay?

Please, let's do.

So tell me, Mickey, how can you look at an ordinary person,

an innocent guy with kids, and then shoot him to death?

I mean, how can you bring yourself to do that?

Innocent, who's innocent, Wayne, you innocent?

I'm innocent, yes I am.

Of murder, definitely.

It's just murder, man.

All God's creatures do it in some form or another.

- Ha! - I mean, you look in the forest,

you got species killing other species,

our species killing all species,

including the forests,

and we just call it industry, not murder.

But I know a lot of people who, uh, deserve to die.

Why, why do they deserve to die?

I think everybody got something in their past,

some sin, some awful secret thing.

A lot of people walkin' around out there already dead,

just need to be put out of their misery.

That's where I come in, fate's messenger.

Except a corn or wheat falleth to the ground and die,

it abideth alone.

But if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.

Oh, the theory that everyone meets a serial killer

halfway thing, is that what you're saying?

Well, the wolf don't know why he's a wolf,

and the deer don't know why he's a deer.

God just made it that way.

You're saying that the world itself is predatory.

That when a mountain lion takes down an elk,

it's because it's the elk's time to go.

And all the BS liberal agenda about saving the animal herds

only serves to overpopulate the balance of nature.

Maybe you're right, Mickey.

I don't think so, but maybe you're right.

Corporate predators, environmental predators,

nuclear predators.

Life is a hunt.

I've seen it, I was there

when that hit the fan at Grenada.

I saw it all go down at Grenada.

So tell me, Mickey.

Any regrets?

I mean, three weeks, 50 people killed?

Not too cool, Mickey.

52, but I don't spend a lot of time with regret.

That's a wasted emotion.

Seriously, you must have some regret, come on.

Rack your brain.

Well, I wish that Indian hadn't got killed.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad!

One of your last victims.

Man had a rattlesnake sittin' in the corner.

Rattlesnake?

Could pick it up and pet it.

He saw it.

He saw what?

The demon, he saw the demon.

The demon?

What demon?

Everybody got the demon in here, okay?

The demon lives in here.

It feeds on your hate.

Cuts, kills, rapes.

It uses your weakness, your fear.

Only the vicious survive in here.

We're all told we're no good pieces of shit

from the time we could breathe.

Got that right.

After a while, you kinda become bad.

But, you know, after the Indian,

we were gonna quit killing.

Old man took it out of us.

What happened?

Well, it was all just a mistake, you know?

That man was trying to help us, you know, pet us.

Same dream I've had since I was a kid, I guess.

Just runnin', runnin' with the animals and the darkness.

Mr. Rabbit, bloody fangs.

Christmas hat.

Little... madness going on, I don't know, just running.

Just, I'm Mr. Rabbit,

eating every other animal in the forest.

Death, just death kind of becomes what you are.

After a while, you begin to like it.

You know about realization, Wayne?

I mean, you know, all this is just illusion.

Mr. Rabbit says the moment of realization,

moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers.

You're crazy, man.

Wayne, I don't think I'm any crazier than you are.

I'm extreme, dark and light, you know that.

I'm light with Mal. Mal. Mal.

That's your shadow on the wall, you know?

Can't get rid of your shadow, can you Wayne?

Now you know the only thing that kills a demon?

Love.

That's why I know that Mallory's my salvation.

She was teaching me how to love.

I forgive you, baby.

Yeah, it was just like being in the Garden of Eden.

Only love can kill a demon.

Hold that thought.

Yeah, all right, this guy's in your eye line, I'm sorry.

Need some powder.

You want some powder?

Rise and shine, Mallory.

Turn around and face the wall.

Hey relax, fellas.

We wanna have a little talk is all.

Mr. Scagnetti, don't get close to her, she'll kill ya.

Oh yeah?

One way or the other, she'll kill ya.

Relax guy, read my book, okay?

I've met some unruly crocodiles in my time,

but this little lady?

I think she's got a sweet streak for me.

There you go, take that.

- It's okay, come on. - Sir, we're not allowed.

It's okay, come on, come on.

It's all right, guys.

Smoke?

I know you smoke.

You know, I'm not here to hurt you, Mallory.

I wanna be your friend, okay?

If I ever met a girl who needs a friend,

it's you.

You're a very pretty girl.

You remember the last time you got fucked, huh?

Remember?

What I want you to do is close your eyes,

and remember the last time old Mickey

gave you the high hard one.

Thinkin' about it?

Well never forget it, 'cause it's never gonna happen again.

'Cause when they get through with all that electroshock shit

they got lined up for that cocksucker,

lil' Mickey ain't gonna be worth a shit.

And was it really worth it?

Was what worth it?

Was massacring all those people worth being separated

from your love for the rest of your life?

You mean was an instant of my purity

worth a lifetime of your lies, Wayne?

Please explain to me, where's the purity

that you couldn't live without

in the 52 people who are no longer on this planet

because they met you and Mallory?

What's so pure about that?

How do you do it?

You don't ever understand, Wayne.

You and me, we're not even the same species.

I used to be you, then I evolved.

From where you're standing, you're a man.

From where I'm standing, you're a ape.

You're not even a ape, you're a media person.

Media's like the weather, only it's manmade weather.

Murder?

It's pure.

You're the one made it impure.

You're buying and selling fear.

You say why?

I say why bother?

Are you done?

Great, then let's cut the BS and get real.

Why this purity that you feel about killing?

Why, for Christ's sake, why?

Don't lie to me!

I guess, Wayne, you just gotta hold

that old shotgun in your hand,

and then it comes clear like it did for me the first time.

That's when I realized my one true calling in life.

And what's that, Mickey?

Shit, man.

I'm a natural born killer.

And that's commercial.

Two minutes, guys.

Did you get that?

- All right. - All right, Mickey!

Great, great, man.

That was fucking brilliant.

Wurlitzer.

We got a riot going on here

in the rec room in B wing.

Oh shit!

Thanks.

Every fuckin' moron in the world just saw that, mate.

Warden McClusky, we got a riot going on here

and it's out of control, and we need help.

God almighty shitfire, Leroy, where at?

In the rec room in B wing.

We're outmanned already, sir, we need help.

All right.

You mobilize the men, I'm on my way.

Mr. Gale?

Close them cameras down.

We got a riot goin' on in the rec room in B wing.

Just a second, we haven't finished.

We're live, for Christ's sake!

You sure as hell are finished.

They got guns, hostages, explosives,

close them cameras down, now, turn 'em off.

Come on, we'll never get the shots again.

We'll be famous, Dwight.

You stay here, and shut up.

I gotta find out what the hell's goin' on down there

before I can let you film anywhere.

Come on, the whole world is watching!

We'll never get this chance again!

Fuck you!

This asshole is trying to tell me

what I'm gonna do in my jail.

- Fuck him! - Fuck you!

This little fuck don't know what he's dealing with here, but we do.

Keep your fingers on the triggers of your shotguns,

and follow me.

Help, no, no, god no, no, oh no, god!

This is a tough room.

All right, one more.

Mother says to sister,

you can go to the drive-in with Bobby,

but you've got to take little Johnny with you.

Sister goes, okay.

So they go, they come back,

and Mother grabs little Johnny aside

and says, all right now, what happened?

Little Johnny, who can't talk, goes...

Mother says okay, they went to the drive-in, I know that.

What happened then?

Little Johnny goes...

Oh, they were kissing?

What else?

You heard this one?

What else?

Little Johnny goes...

- Hey! - He felt her up?

Well, what else?

Little Johnny goes...

They took off their clothes?

Well, what else?

Little Johnny goes...

They did that?

What the hell were you doing?

Little Johnny goes...

Little Johnny, no!

Oh shit!

Drop it!

The gun, goddamn it!

Smart move, okay.

Empty the shells.

Hurry up!

Everybody raise your hands!

You think you're getting outta here, boy?

They're gonna mop you up, they're gonna put you in a bucket.

You're the law?

I'm the lawbreaker.

Motherfucker!

Wayne, where are you?

Hey, I'm all right man, I'm okay.

I'm okay.

All right, new friend.

Get your camera.

Where's Roger?

I'm right here.

Where's Scotty?

He's hit, I think he's dead.

Ah, shit.

All right, put the shells on the table.

Drop your belt.

Hands behind your head.

Got that camera going yet?

No, they're both shot to shit.

That's too bad for you.

No, whoa, wait.

I got a shoulder pack with remote beta on it.

I can get an image off it.

Very innovative.

Put it on your shoulder, let's go.

We're gonna play follow the leader.

Everybody gonna follow me outta here, one big happy family.

Shoot everything I do.

Kavanaugh, get up!

Take me to Mallory's cell,

and you better hope she's in one piece.

Everybody, get right behind Kavanaugh.

Press on up against his back, let's go!

Young lady, you wanna come along with us.

Go, go, go, go.

Come on, hustle it!

Stay with me, stay with me!

Help me!

Come on, assholes!

Hey, hey!

That's my camera, you motherfucker!

Get together!

Oh.

Now I remember you.

You're Jack.

I'm not really as bad as they say I am.

I'm actually a really nice person.

Yeah, I know.

I've done some pretty bad things myself.

I killed somebody.

No shit.

Anyway.

You know what I think about?

Sex.

Sex.

Fuckin'.

I think about hands on my tits.

And I think about flesh against flesh,

and sweat.

My mind drives me crazy.

Sit down.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to kiss me, and squeeze my nipple.

Oh, you're so specific.

Squeeze it.

You like a little bit of pain?

How sexy am I now, fucker?

You stupid bitch!

Oh shit, shit!

You want a sexy little whore?

I'm trying, I'm trying!

Fuckin' bitch broke my fucking nose!

Give me that gun!

I'll kill you!

- I'll fuckin' kill her! - Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- No gun, put it away. - Yeah, fuck it, mace.

You fucking whore.

You say you wanna play, bitch, huh, you want some?

Get down, get down!

Told you I liked you!

I told you I liked you!

Go be at peace with the universe.

Each breath you take breathes in healing.

And now, a special report from Channel 6 News.

Go on the air, are we on?

Good afternoon, I'm Antonia Chavez.

This is a WATCH special report.

I'm being told that we're taking you right now

live to Batonga Penitentiary,

where Wayne Gale continues his interrupted interview

in the middle of a full scale riot.

Wayne, can you hear me?

Wayne, tell us what's happening out there.

Are you safe?

...one. This is Wayne Gale,

resuming live from Batongaville,

where you can tell by the blood and carnage all around me,

that the final chapter in the book

called Mickey and Mallory has yet to be written.

Are you in danger, Wayne?

Can you tell us, are you in danger?

Total war has broken out here,

unlike anything I've ever seen.

Batonga will stand alongside them.

What's happening, Wayne?

Batonga, Batonga, Batonga, Batonga!

In Batongaville.

I told you I liked you!

Hey, Jack.

Mickey's back!

Looks like we got us a Mexican standoff.

We've had this date from the beginning, huh Mickey?

Now slide that shotgun over here,

and put your hands behind your head,

and your forehead on the floor.

Or what, you'll wound me?

I could blow you in half, Scagnetti, and you know it.

I never wounded anything in my life!

I got you locked right between the eyes, Mickey.

I've had you locked from the jump, you phony!

You got me locked, you take your shot.

Okay, Jack!

You win.

Oh shit! Oh my god!

Oh, baby!

Ladies and gentlemen,

this kiss has been a year in the coming.

They're doing something everyone told them they would never, ever do again.

At this moment, they are the only two people on Earth.

Shut up, Jack!

Losing your touch, Jack.

I was outta shells.

You still like me now, Jack?

- What's this? - List of prisoners.

What the fuck do I want that for?

I asked for a list of hostages!

Hostages, how am I supposed to know?

Just get it!

Do I have to do everything?

All right. Jesus Christ.

What are those guys right there?

Try, try, close one, two, three again.

- Still jammed open, sir. - Well, jam 'em shut!

- There's a fire in five-six north. - I can see the goddamn fire.

The psych unit looks like a zoo.

All our informants are being tortured,

and, and, and, and, and...

Hey Mabel, come here! Look at this.

Warden!

Yes, what is it Natapundi?

Napalatoni.

I don't care what your fucking name is!

Mickey and Mallory Knox are loose.

Scagnetti's dead!

And they're live on network TV.

Live on network TV?

Jesus Harold Christ on a fucking rubber crutch,

is this happening to me?

Julie!

You fucking sick motherfuckers!

Come on.

Yeah, come on.

Come on.

Come on, Mickey.

This way.

Who are you?

My name's Owen.

What the hell you want from us?

I want you to take me with you... take me with you.

Where the hell are we?

Oh, it's a place I come to think

when things get, you know, hectic.

Follow me.

Let's go, Kavanaugh.

Follow me.

Now we're in B wing.

Where we going, Owen?

Out, through, down.

Ho, ho, ho, hold up!

Okay, Kavanaugh.

Don't shoot, don't shoot, Wayne Gale!

Don't shoot, Wayne Gale!

Motherfucker, ha!

How you doing, Wayne?

I... I'm fuckin' great.

You got the feeling?

Oh man, I'm alive for the first fucking time in my life, I'm alive!

Thank you, Mickey!

Let's kill all these motherfuckers!

- Gimme that. - Why?

You're not centered, Wayne.

Here, shoot this.

Okay, let's go!

Kavanaugh, stop slacking off!

End of the line, Knox.

- Drop him. - One move, and he's dead!

He's already dead, dickweed.

You got shit!

Fire!

Back off!

You scram or I'll blast him, back off!

Please I'm begging, don't shoot!

Shut up Gale, you prick!

Mickey, Mallory, just let me say...

Put your hand up!

You see?

Now shut up!

Mickey, I made a place.

- Come, come. - Come on, move it.

Let's go, Mal!

60 seconds, and I'm coming up!

What is your bloody problem?

I was begging for you guys out there!

Think, think, think, think, think.

Fuck!

Yes?

Wayne, what the hell is going on now?

Oh hello, Margaret.

How you doing, Mal?

I'm all right.

You done good, baby.

Thank you.

But you know, no matter what happens,

I love ya.

I love you more than I ever loved myself.

Yeah, blow it out your ass, Maggie.

I know that, Mickey.

- I'm never coming home. - Dinner's ready.

Don't you get it?

I'm alive for the first fucking time in my life, I'm alive!

How'd you figure that out?

Because I don't love you anymore.

Oh, don't be stupid.

I love Ming.

Ming, I knew it!

Yeah, that's right, Ming is not a fuckin' restaurant.

What about Daddy's will?

I don't care, take the rest of the money,

it's all yours anyway!

And one more thing, you piss off, you cunt!

It's good to be with you, Wayne Gale.

You do a lot of good for people.

Dwight, for Christ sakes, the fuckin' door's exploded

and you're diddling around with these two pubes.

We have more important things to do.

These two, these are the ones,

they die today, you hear me Sparky?

I'm gonna wipe that fucking scum

off the face of the fucking Earth

if this is the last fucking thing I do!

You know what I say?

I say to hell with going back to our cells.

Let's go out there, and run down the stairs,

and go out in a hail of bullets,

and then we'll die,

and then we'll really be free.

That's poetry.

But we'll do that when all else fails.

- I just left her. - What do you mean?

That's right.

Hey, put a bottle of Dom on ice, honey.

Get some ecstasy.

I'm gonna come over tonight,

and I'm gonna put a hot pepper up your ass.

You know you're not.

- I love you, Ming. - Sorry, Charlie.

Ming?

Ming!

Okie dokie, hold this.

You married?

I don't wanna die, I don't want to die.

That wasn't the question, are you married?

Yes, I'm married.

Do you have children?

I have a boy and a girl.

I don't wanna die.

Mal, could you come here please?

Now, only way we're gonna get out that front door,

is if they don't wanna kill you two

more than they wanna kill us.

Inspector journalist!

Okay, hold that.

Duncan, Duncan Homolka, Wayne Gale.

You all right?

You want reality?

You got it.

My name is Wayne Gale!

I am the star of American Maniacs,

watched by 40 million people a week!

I am a respected journalist, winner of the Ed R. Murrow

and the Golden Globe Award, to name a few.

I have been shot.

You are on camera, we are live!

If anybody tries to fuck up our escape,

I will make it my life's mission

to put Dwight McClusky out of commission.

I will do exposé after exposé,

revealing the inhumanity, the brutality,

and the conditions that exist here.

You, back up, back up!

My name is Wayne Gale!

I am the star of American Maniacs!

You are on camera, we are live!

Just how far do you think you're gonna get?

Right out the front door.

- That will never happen! - It is happening.

- Don't stop, Wayne! - My name is Wayne Gale!

I am a friend of Bill Clinton's!

If anybody puts me in danger...

- You open that gate! - Open the gate!

- Keep going. - My name is Wayne Gale!

I am the star of American Maniacs!

I will personally hunt you down,

blow the head off your fucking whore wife,

and plant your sick ass in the ground, all by myself!

Another day perhaps, but not today.

This is Wayne Gale, unfortunately no longer live.

I am wounded, all my crew is dead.

I have left my wife, and my girlfriend has left me.

No, look back up, that was good.

Mickey Knox's plan worked.

We walked out the front door,

into my news van, and made our getaway.

When we were followed by patrol cars,

Mallory shot Deputy Sheriff Duncan Homolka,

and tossed his body out the back.

Show them your ear. Woop!

Oh my god, that is so gross.

Why helicopters were not deployed, I don't know.

My only thought is that it all happened too fast

for arrangements to be made.

We've just pulled over to the side of the road

to do this interview.

Tensions run high, as we...

We ain't got all fucking day.

So without any further ado, Mickey and Mallory.

So Mallory, after Mickey's incredible rescue,

what did you think next?

I was just wondering how long it would be

until me and Mickey could be alone together,

and if I could wait that long.

So, so did you have anything to do with the riot?

Oh, we didn't have nothing to do with that riot.

You know, that was whatchamacallit?

Fate?

Fate.

They wanna say we masterminded the whole fucking thing,

you know, let 'em.

It's not like it's gonna keep us up at night and stuff.

But the truth is, it was... fate.

Ah, yes, fate it was,

and you saw it right here, on American Maniacs.

Do you believe in reincarnation, Wayne?

Ah, yes I believe we've all lived many times.

So, what's next for the Knoxes?

Well, I'm thinkin' we can lay in a big king size bed,

and sleep for about two days,

and I've been thinking about motherhood.

So I think me and Mickey are gonna get started on that

as quickly as possible.

Okay, gotta go.

All right, but wait, how do you two intend to disappear?

I mean, you're probably the most famous couple in America.

Well, there is that underground, you know, railroad when...

- During the slave times... - Okay, end the interview.

Okay, let me just swing the camera round,

and do my little wrap up, and we're off.

Oh, we're gonna do a little wrap up, all right, Wayne.

But it won't be you staring in the camera,

lookin' dumb and acting stupid.

Instead, you're gonna be staring down the barrels of our shotguns,

and we're gonna be blowing your brains

all over that tree back there.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, time,

cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!

That's a fucking joke, right?

Come on, don't fucking shoot me!

I thought during this whole escape thing,

that kind of a bond developed between us.

No, not really.

You're scum, Wayne.

You did it for ratings.

You don't give a shit about us, or about anybody except yourself.

That's why nobody gives a shit about you.

That's why helicopters were not deployed.

Wait a minute, you fucking hypocrite.

What about the Indian?

You said that you were done with killing, you said love beats the demon!

You said that love beats the demon!

I am, and it will.

It's just that you're the last one, Wayne.

No man, don't fucking kill me.

This is not about you, you egomaniac.

- I kinda like you. - No!

But if we let you go,

we'd be like everybody else. Killing you,

and what you represent, is a statement.

I'm not 100% sure exactly what it's saying, but you know,

Frankenstein killed Dr. Frankenstein.

Wayne?

Have some dignity.

All right, so I'm a parasite, so what?

Life is cruel, no one said it was gonna be easy.

The day you two killed, your ass belonged to us!

To the public, to the media!

That's how it is, and we are married, mate!

Now the point is, what do we do next?

I say we do a Salman Rushdie type thing, okay?

Just books, talk shows.

You know, we lay low, we jump up, we bob and weave,

we get rid of them, we come in, we do Oprah, we do Donahue.

I mean, do you have any idea how huge we could be?

Let's make a little music, Colorado.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Don't Mickey and Mallory always leave somebody alive to tell the tale?

We are.

Your camera.

Okay.

I'm gonna miss him.

Come on, let's go.

Okay, baby.

Can we hear him?

I can't hear him, I'm not getting anything off of this.

Oh my god.

In other news tonight,

a bride and groom's wedding reception

turned into a nightmare.

My dad.

People, um...

Because it would end in sex,

and that's all I thought about.

He punched me, he slapped me again.

He, um...

I just... I just want to say, you know, can we...

Yeah.