Original subtitles

Do you like spaghetti?

- I do. - Great.

When you were young, did you ever hate one of your parents?

I don't think so.

No? I did. I hated my dad.

- Oh, really? - I was very angry at him

because he wasn't there.

I put my parents through hell.

- I drank like a fish. - What did you drink?

Vodka, tequila.

I did drugs.

Marijuana...

- acid. - You did acid?

Yep.

- What? - Cocaine.

- You did cocaine? - Yep.

And that sent me into a lot of destructive behaviors.

What are you doing with the noodles there?

I'm seeing how done they are.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah.

It's beautiful in rural Oregon.

And the town of Eagle Creek, my home base for this project

definitely has a lot to offer.

But if what you need is a consistent supply of professional actors

for all the rehearsals you have in the works...

- Bye. - Bye. See you later.

...you need to take regular trips to a big city.

You need to go where the actors are.

During this process, I've discovered that an actor's sense of authenticity

can vary vastly from one to another.

And I wanted a way to create a standard

for the level of realism I needed for this project.

I had recently launched The Fielder Method Studio

in LA's NoHo Arts District as a recruitment camp of sorts

to find and train up-and-coming actors

in the specific techniques needed for this show.

Unlike a normal role

where the worst thing that can happen is

you know, someone changes the channel

if they don't like your performance, you know what I mean?

Like, with this show, if your performance isn't accurate

you could ruin someone's life.

Preparing an actor for a rehearsal is sort of like a spy mission.

And I wanted them to learn how to do it themselves

as well as improve on mistakes we had made in the past.

So, is your method based upon

like, literally a slice of life with this person

and then creating reenactments based off this one experience?

My point is that this didn't go far enough.

- Okay. - Sounds like we're gonna

secretly follow somebody around for a while.

- Yeah, stalking? - Stalking?

- Yeah. - Yes. You guys.

Okay, you guys are getting ahead of this. Good.

But I often find myself intimidated by actors.

Stella Adler says you can be representational

which is action based

or you could be representational, which is behavior based.

- Stella Adler. - Stella Adler.

- And then, yeah. - What is her thing?

They have a way of channeling other people's emotions

that I don't fully understand.

The most playful chakra is your third eye, right?

It's your creative mind as an actor. That's where you wanna live.

Just in hearing you talk about this

it's like the Suzuki Method which is physical and it's about...

- Suzuki? - Yeah.

And it's about filling the form.

Okay.

And what's the best way to fill in the form?

Just do the action.

- Do the action. - Yeah.

Like in the deep reality of the action.

- Sure. - Yeah.

And by the time I gave them their first assignment

I was feeling a little insecure.

Okay. So, now we're gonna put

some of what you guys learned today, into action.

You're gonna go out into the real world

and pick a real person to become your primary.

And you're gonna secretly observe and interact with them

and find out as much as you can about them.

And then, you're gonna come back tomorrow dressed like them.

Okay?

Any other questions or...

Okay, cool.

- See you later. - Bye.

After spending time with people

I'm often left wondering what they actually think of me.

So, once the class was gone, I tried a little experiment.

I decided to recreate the class using different actors

to portray each person

so I could relive the day from a student's perspective.

My hope was to gain insight into how each lesson made them feel

so I could improve it for tomorrow.

With this show

if your performance isn't accurate

you could ruin a person's life.

I had picked a random student to inhabit.

An actor named Thomas

who was sitting on the side of the room.

Putting myself in his headspace

I noticed this teacher wasn't very good at connecting with us.

Your character research

needs to be sourced through real-world interactions

with the person you're portraying.

It didn't seem like he had ever taught an acting class before.

Is it weird to put my name, like, in a method?

- No. - Or... no?

- Everything's all right. - All right.

I wondered if my fellow students felt the same way.

But I couldn't really see their faces well

because of how the chairs were arranged.

We were all facing forwards.

And this formal environment made the whole class a little less fun.

So, your assignment for the rest of the day is

you're gonna go out into the real world

and secretly observe your primary.

But it felt like the method itself made sense.

Nathan explained it all clearly

and it was actually sort of intriguing.

Maybe there was something to it.

I guess I'd have to keep taking the class to find out.

Hey.

- Hey. Hey. - Oh, we're circling.

- Hey. It's cool. - Yeah, circle today.

Hang out. Have a seat. How's it going?

- It's good to see you. - It's good.

Hello.

I asked her how her day was going, how long was her shift.

She's working til midnight.

She's really tired.

I found her Instagram through Geotags.

Then I found her Twitter

and I found her TikTok.

- Good. Good. - She's having...

She's having a breast reduction soon. Her name is Amanda...

I felt way more in sync with the actors today.

The vibe in the room felt so much better.

Yeah. So, my primary's name is Henry.

- He was a barber. Yeah. - You had to get your hair cut then?

- So, I got my hair cut and I... - You got a haircut?

Yeah, it was nice.

- So, it was good and like... - Okay, cool. Good.

But I noticed some students were struggling with the assignment.

Thomas, what about you?

Well, I went to an acai place.

- Acai? - It's kinda like a smoothie bowl.

Okay.

And I thought this would be a good opportunity

to show them I knew what I was doing.

I noticed you didn't get as much...

personal information about your primary as some of the others.

Is there a reason or...

The environment kind of begs for you to go through the line

- and then leave. - Right.

The physical space is asking you not to be there.

Yeah. You know, you...

When you got your order, maybe spill it on the counter

and he would come to your aid

and that would break down

some of the social barriers that you're afraid to cross.

- Just disrupt the situation? - Yeah.

And then maybe, you know

it might lead to a more personal conversation perhaps.

Okay. Gotcha.

When I relived the day from Thomas's perspective

it proved my instincts to be right.

Thomas, what about you?

So, my primary was at an acai bowl place.

- Acai bowl? Yeah. - Yeah. Acai bowl

kind of like the smoothie.

The circle felt just as good from a student's perspective

as it was from the teacher's.

And I felt really special when Nathan pulled me aside

to give me one-to-one guidance after class.

...and that'll help break down some of the social barriers

that you're afraid to cross.

- Thank you. - All right?

- Good luck. Good luck. Great. - Yeah. Thank you. Okay.

After reliving day two, I basically found no issues.

I felt Nathan gave every student a lot of attention

and made us feel comfortable in the process.

Maybe I had nothing to worry about after all.

It was nice to be back in LA.

back in my real home.

Once in a while, I would try to check in with Angela.

- One, two, three, four. - One, two, three, four.

- One, two, three, four. - One, two, three, four.

- One, two, three. - One, two, three.

- One, two, three. - One, two, three.

- One, two. One, two. - One, two. One, two.

- One. One. One. - One. One. One.

- All right. - That was fun.

Now that the actors had studied their primaries for two days...

it was time to physically embody them.

You use tape and string, is that...

- I don't know. - You don't know? Okay.

- I don't know how it works. - What's that tool here?

But over here, I got a couple things going.

This is a...

- tie iron. Tie iron, yeah. - Tie iron?

- T-I-E? - I believe so.

Bananas under the cans.

But I now knew that to take on the mind of a stranger

it wasn't enough to just talk to them.

The level of immersion had to be deeper.

I am in the process of arranging for all of you

to work in the actual jobs of your primary.

Or at least as close as we can get.

That... is that cool? Pretty...

- Yeah. - or is that dumb?

I don't wanna work.

I was noticing, the more extreme my method became

the more these actors seemed to respect me.

If I'm not gonna go all the way and get out of my comfort zone

how am I gonna know where I can go?

So... Yeah, thank you for just the space, you know.

But when I caught up with Thomas, something felt off.

Yeah, so how did it go? Yeah, what happened?

- It was... - Did you get personal? Did you?

The... the deeper conversation was hard to accomplish.

Did you spill your bowl or anything?

- Did not spill the bowl. - Okay, yeah.

Yeah, but I instead went with...

telling him that I lost my lucky guitar pick that I got from my dad.

- Okay. well... Is that true? - And then...

- No, that was a lie. Yeah. - Oh, okay, okay. Got it.

I mean, I don't really like lying to people, in general.

Yeah, neither do I.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. It's weird, but...

this is all so fascinating, so what are you gonna do?

Right.

Thomas's ambiguous emotions were hard for me to read

but then I got the sense he had been uncomfortable

with this method since the very first day.

So, yeah. That's what makes me feel kinda weird about it sometimes.

About doing these... this...

Specific kind of stalking thing.

The Fielder Method.

Which was interesting

because I had not felt that when I was him.

So, rather than recreating today's lesson

I decided to experience that first day again

to see if I had missed something.

- Hey, I'm Nathan. - Thomas.

- Thomas? - Good to meet you.

Yeah. Good to meet you.

- Can I sit down? Sure, yeah. - Yeah, have a seat.

- And just hang out. - Okay. Great.

This time, I was focused on really getting into his mindset.

So, I just kept saying to myself in my head

"Your name is Thomas and you're an actor.

How do you feel?"

I have a show that requires specific type of performance.

Almost immediately, I felt a rush of excitement come over me

when I remembered there were cameras filming me.

HBO cameras.

I love being on camera.

But I wanted to play it cool

like I didn't care that much.

With this show, if your performance isn't accurate...

you could ruin someone's life.

Wait, what is this show?

Is this a show about an acting class?

Am I supposed to be acting?

Something doesn't make sense.

If you're training actors for a show

why would you be filming the training?

I wanted to ask, but I was worried it would seem rude.

I didn't wanna stand out.

I wanted to impress Nathan.

Fielder Method on three.

One, two, three.

- Fielder Method! - Fielder Method!

All right, thank you guys. All right.

- His own show... - Yeah.

Hi, thank you for coming to the first day of the Fielder Method work.

So excited to have you.

If you wanna participate in the show

you just need to sign this appearance release.

- Okay. - Thank you.

Oh, wow. There're so many pages!

I don't know any of these legal terms.

This would take me hours to read.

- Thank you so much. - Yeah.

But everyone else is signing it, so it must be all right.

Hi, it's all standard.

- Signature is on the fourth page. - Right. Sorry, yeah.

- Yeah. No problem. - Okay.

- Great, we'll see you tomorrow. - Yeah. Okay.

Reliving the day again as Thomas

made me realize there was a whole other layer to his experience

I hadn't considered.

- And thank you so much. - Thanks again for today.

- Yeah. Thank you. - I'll see you. Yeah.

And I wondered if was going far enough.

I had just sent these actors off

to work for an entire week as someone else.

But how much is enough?

How do you ever know you truly understand someone?

So, I started visiting Thomas working at the acai bowl place.

- Hey! Good. How are you? - Hey! How you doing?

Going through the exact experience he had with his primary.

How many siblings do you have?

- Pardon me. - How many siblings?

- Brother, two sisters. Yeah. - Brother, two sisters, oh.

You want Nutella, peanut butter, almond butter?

And return to class the next morning to live the second day again.

I'm a dog walker for this dog walking app

and my primary was this director

and I... I actually got into his house.

But this time, it felt different.

I think you're the first person in the history of this project

to actually get inside their primary's home.

It's amazing.

I think that deserves a round of applause.

And I began to question the tactics this teacher was encouraging.

You spill your bowl on the counter and...

see how he responds to that.

But every night when I went home, it was still my house.

My marble coffee table.

My TV.

My black and white toilet.

The illusion was shattered.

So, I suggested to Thomas that he move into an apartment

that reflects the living situation of his primary

to immerse himself fully.

Did you... did you find out his living situation and...

Yeah. I found out that he lives with the couple of his bandmates

actually pretty close to here. Sherman Oaks area.

Okay.

Cool. How soon can you move?

As soon as I have to.

So, I rented him a similar place

and hired two actors to play his roommates.

All right. So, this is Tex and Matt.

- They'll be your new roommates. - What's up, buddy?

I told him I would collect his mail for him

and water his plants while he was away.

Plant in my bathroom.

- Just a little bit. - Okay.

And be careful cause it'll overflow, the little water catch dish.

Okay, sure. Great.

- All right. Have fun. - Okay.

- See you. - See you.

But I really wanted to do more than that.

So, while Thomas was going deeper into his character...

I would go deeper into mine.

I began living in his home...

eating what he eats...

playing what he plays...

using the weapons he uses...

reading what he reads...

sleeping where he sleeps.

I was now Thomas 24/7.

I continued following the lesson plan

until I was working at an Ubatuba also

a different one from Thomas, so he wouldn't know.

He lives with a couple of his bandmates in Sherman Oaks

in like, an apartment.

Okay. Cool.

How soon can you move?

It was beginning to dawn on me

how much I was asking of these students...

This is Tex, and this is Matt.

They'll be playing your roommates.

- Hey. Nice to meet you. - How are you?

...and the sacrifices they are willing to make

in pursuit of their dreams.

Maybe I could get your keys.

Why... why do you need my keys?

I can look after your... your plants.

Oh, sure. Here.

Or get your mail while you are here.

But no matter how deep I went

there were still parts of Thomas that were a mystery to me.

But maybe that's as close as you can get.

And that last step in understanding someone

is always just a guess.

All right, Ashley.

When they finish their week of work

I had all the actors return for a final showcase.

That looks like two inches.

All right.

Sam.

It's hard to know what exactly is hidden

beneath the smile of an actor.

Would you like your bowl, sir?

Thomas.

But once in a while

it's nice to just pretend that everything's okay.

Fielder Method on three.

- One, two, three. - One, two, three.

Fielder Method!

I was in L.A. longer than I had planned to be

and I was sort of nervous to return home again

to get back into family life.

I wasn't sure how it would feel.

- Hey, Dad. - Oh, hey!

Hey!

Is Angela here?

- Hug? Can I get a hug? - Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course.

Good to see you.

- Yeah, how are you? - Good.

I'm just gonna put my stuff upstairs.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah.

All right, yeah.

Maybe I can. Maybe I can show it.

It could be fun!

It could be fun!

Everyone was being so warm and welcoming

making me feel at home.

But for some reason, that felt wrong.

I was telling him that he's more mainstream

and I'm more underground.

Like, I like to find eclectic underground artists.

Adam was 15 now.

I had been gone for nine years.

Was this really how he would see me?

Maybe I needed to make some adjustments.

- Hey. - Hey.

- What's up, Dad? - Do you mind if I come in?

Yeah, no problem.

What's up?

How's it going?

I'm just trying to write some songs right now.

- Oh, yeah. Cool. - Yeah.

Do you mind if I talk to you for a sec, as you?

What's your name again?

Adam.

No, no, like, could I talk to you as the actor?

- What's your real name? - Oh, Joshua.

- Josh. Josh. All right, Josh. - Joshua. Yeah. Joshua.

Sorry, yeah.

I know we talked about never breaking character, but...

Oh, okay, okay. So, just...

- Okay, so, we're in... - Yeah, just you for a moment.

I guess...

Okay, so, your dad comes home after being gone for nine years.

How do you think you'd really feel?

Maybe resentment to him.

Maybe a little bit. Just as me personally.

Especially if...

he comes home, and it's almost like...

"Hey, what's up? You doing good?"

That... that would be... I wouldn't like that at all.

I think... I think... as in it's still your dad

but it's... like this guy like...

you didn't take care of me.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, you know.

It's just that Like that sort of thing.

Do you mind if we try me coming home again but using that?

Like that... that feeling?

- Yeah. - Yeah totally. I'm...

- Yeah. Hundred percent. - Okay.

- Yeah. - Okay, cool.

Hey!

Look who decided to show up.

Do you know anyone or any friends of yours

who have been through anything similar to this?

Like dad-not-around situation or...

Yeah, I know a couple of people.

Do you think you'd be able to just

maybe spend time with one of them

or the friend and take it in, or...

Yeah. I...

I think that's actually a good idea. I think I can definitely do that.

Hey.

How you doing?

You wanna see a card trick or something, like a magic trick?

No, Dad. I'm not five.

Yeah, he's been like in and out of jail a lot, in juvenile.

- Juvie... - Juvenile?

I think he actually has a kid on the way.

- He has a kid? - Yeah. Just with someone I know.

So, what age was he having sex?

Like 13, probably, like, 12.

He was having sex at 13?

I'm sure of it. Yeah, most likely.

If not 13, at least 14.

Hey!

Are you leaving?

Yeah, I'm going to hang out with some friends.

Okay. Where're you going? What... where... what friends?

My friends. We're probably gonna go drinking.

You're gonna go drinking?

What type of drinks would he have, do you think?

Tequila, vodka. Just some stuff like that.

- Tequila, okay. - Tequila.

Hey, you can't go drinking. You're... you're only 15.

What do you mean I can't go drinking?

I need to make sure you come home safe.

Wow, you're the one to talk about coming home?

Okay, come on.

Hey!

You can't... you can't just go...

Adam?

What's going on?

I just think he's upset

that I haven't been there most of his life.

Okay.

But...

I'm gonna fix it.

Good.

Hey, buddy.

You don't have to come out or answer me.

I just got you...

a little something. It's a guitar pedal.

I know you like them.

I'm not sure what they do. So...

I guess they make the guitar sound cool.

Maybe one day you could show me how it works.

Like, I think drug is, like, the next level.

- Yeah. - Drugs?

You name it. He's done it probably.

You know, like, cocaine or like, you know, Molly and that stuff.

And that's all cause his dad situation?

- I mean, yeah. I think so. - Okay.

I think it is.

You're not a dad!

Okay?

You weren't then, and you're not now!

Your anger is not gonna go away

if you numb it with drugs and alcohol.

Okay, this was the problem I had.

I... I hated my dad.

I hated my dad, and I went to drugs and alcohol.

I wish I would've been spared.

I wish my parents would have sat me down

and talked to me like we're talking to you now.

They didn't. They didn't know how!

I'm not gonna let that happen to you.

What... what drugs are you doing?

What do you mean what drugs am I... Why would I fucking tell you?

I heard you say... So; you are doing drugs?

What? Are you gonna go to the cops and tell them?

No! And that's why I'm talking to you about it now.

- Adam... - I'm not a snitch.

You're a fucking disaster, my guy.

All right?

Now can we end this fucking conversation now?

- Hello, Angela? - Hello.

Just a thought. How would you feel about going back to age six?

Oh, I guess, could you help me understand

what the purpose would be of going back?

- Oh, just because I feel like... - What were you thinking?

I didn't get the experience of seeing him grow.

- Like... - Oh, I'm willing to do that.

Whatever you think is needed for the show, that's fine.

Okay, cool. I'll... I'll talk to you in a bit.

- Okay. See you. - Okay.

- Who's there? - Adam?

Adam?

Adam, Adam, you okay?

Are you okay? Breathe...

Breathe...

Angela! Angela!

What?

Adam, stay with me. Are you okay?

Are you okay, Adam?

Adam. Adam. Adam.

What's going on?

Okay, it's all right.

I don't know what's happening?

I don't know what's happening to him.

I don't know.

I don't know what's happening.

I don't know what's happening to him.

I don't know.

I don't know.

He's got pinpointed pupils, hyperventilation.

High end tidal. Looks like an opioid overdose.

Okay, with hypertension, we need to consider benzo involvement.

I agree. We will start by assisting his breathing.

- Okay. - Hit him up with some HurriCaine.

Blood pressure 96 over 50.

Respiration, six. O2 stat, 86.

Okay, how are you feeling? You good? You're okay?

What are you doing? Don't. No. Stay, stay. You're safe, Adam.

- You're safe. - What? Hey, hey, hey!

- What? What's happening? - Hey!

Have you seen a 15-year-old boy around here?

An older man? No, no. That wouldn't be him.

Okay, thank you.

Adam?

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

It's easy to assume that others think the worst of you...

but when you assume what others think

maybe all you're doing is turning them into a character

that only exists in your mind.

The nice thing is

sometimes all it takes is a change in perspective

to make the world feel brand new.

All right, Adam.

Let's go home.

Is that it?

Translator: IYUNO