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There you are. You shouldn't have come here, boys.
Meg. She's a demon, Sam.
We're going to heaven, Clarence.
- So, what can you do, you impotent sap? - What the hell was that thing?
It may have been an Alpha. An Alpha, like-?
First one who spawned all the others. Tons of lore about it.
We know you're looking for purgatory. Why?
Purgatory is vast, underutilized and hell-adjacent, and I want it.
Bring me creatures. Aim high on the food chain.
- We ain't your employees. - You are.
- You're nothing but a crossroads demon. - Was a crossroads demon.
Now king of hell.
I snap my fingers, Sam gets his soul back.
Or I shove Sam right back in the hole.
I told you, I don't know anything about-
Sorry, but your exceptional good looks aren't gonna buy you any mercy.
I suggest you talk.
What should we use next? Speculum?
- Something more exotic? - Look, it's purgatory.
All I know is I go there when I die.
- It's not like I can draw you a map. - I happen to know you can.
- You're wrong. - My sources are unimpeachable.
You're the father of your entire species.
You're really not pulling off this dumb-blond act.
I hope you appreciate just how much effort I've gone to...
to find something that can actually hurt you.
Yeah, my tinkering has cost several lesser shifters their lives.
Iridium. Rarer than hell.
Would have been cheaper to drop a castle on you.
But I think we all agree. Worth it.
So you start talking...
or I start chopping off all the bits that stick out.
You go ahead, mate, see if it makes me-
What was that?
Purgatory's where?
What is it with you animals?
Did I tell you? This prison has a nursery.
All yours. I know how much you care about them.
You spent months gathering them to your bosom.
Not so cocky now, are we?
Finding purgatory's important to me.
You have five seconds to tell me where it is.
After that, I'll fillet them in front of you, toss their spines in your lap.
Four, three, two-
Kill them all. We'll make more.
Guess I kind of lost my head.
Let's go. Come on.
- You're late. - Traffic was a bitch.
- One Rougarou. - Now, where's Crowley?
Banging a hooker in a sweet spot called none of your business.
Oh! Look at that, Sam, demon trying to be funny.
- Oh, is that what just happened? - Night, girls.
Wait, wait, hold up, hold up. Are we ever gonna see Crowley again...
or is he just gonna keep sending his demon extras?
Sorry, I know you're speaking.
I see your lips moving, but I can't understand...
because I don't speak little bitch.
Remember when we used to gank demons?
No, man, screw it. I'm done.
- Calm down. - We've been going on these runs...
- and it's not getting us anywhere. - Dean-
The only thing that's really changed is now I need a daily rape shower.
Okay, you're right. Let's go with plan B.
Oh, yeah, we don't have one.
So till we do, sorry, dude, stock up on soap on a rope.
If you wanna get my soul back, that's what we gotta do, okay?
Yeah.
You even want it back?
I'm working for Crowley, aren't I?
Yeah, well, who says he's gonna hold up his end, you know?
It is Crowley.
You ever think of that? Right?
So I guess the moment's over. Is that what you're saying?
Sam?
What now?
I think I know who you can ask.
Evil bitch.
Keep sweet-talking me. This could go a whole new direction.
Meg. I've been dying to see you again.
Well, here I am, big boy.
So, what should we do now?
- How about I rip you to shreds? - Kinky, I like.
But a little Q&A first, if you don't mind. Now, where's your boss?
- You think we work for somebody? - I happen to know for a fact...
you've been juggling Crowley's orphans.
- Now, where is he? - Don't know, don't care.
But you've been working his beat for months.
Doesn't mean we get face time.
Where does he take all those things you snatch up for him?
I bet you an all-day sucker that's where His Majesty's holed up.
Okay, officially over the foreplay. Satisfy me or I please myself.
Something funny, Sam? Yeah.
- Meg. - Really? Because where I'm sitting-
Don't worry, she can't do jack squat.
- She's totally screwed. - Sam, not helping.
Look at her, Dean. She's furious.
If she could kill you, she'd have done it by now.
She's running.
Am I?
Judging by the level of flop sweat on all of you, yeah.
Which means you're running from Crowley, which makes sense.
Crowley would wanna hunt down Lucifer loyalists...
now that he's big man on campus.
How would you know?
It's what I'd do.
She can't kill us.
She needs us to get her to Crowley so she can stick that knife in his neck.
- It's him or her. - Well, I hope you both lose.
But good luck.
So you know what you gotta do now, right?
- Let me guess, you're gonna tell me. - Work with us.
Whoa, what?
We'll hand you Crowley with a bow on one condition.
We go with you, you help us wring something out of him...
before you hack him to bits.
What? Doesn't matter.
Question is, can you get us what we need?
I apprenticed under Alastair in hell just like your brother.
So, Dean, can I make Crowley do whatever I want?
Yeah, she can.
It's a deal then. Hugs and puppies all around.
You gonna untie us?
Please, don't pretend you don't enjoy it.
Are you gonna kiss me?
Come on.
- What are you doing? - What do you mean?
I mean, what are you doing?
Dean, you wanted to screw over Crowley.
Merry Christmas.
- What? - You wanna work with a demon again?
We're working with demons now.
- I'm doing this because I wanna stop. - She killed Ellen and Jo.
But you can't look at this emotionally. We need her.
The hell we do. That bitch is gonna screw us-
Of course, which is why we'll screw her first.
Meg and her little posse are dead the second we're done.
- If they don't kill us. - Oh, they won't.
Because we're bringing insurance.
Castiel.
We need you. It's important.
Cass, we found something.
It's this gold box.
Apparently, Nazis were after it back in the day.
Someone tried to open it and their face melted off.
We think it's, uh...
Ready for this?
The Ark of the Covenant. Yeah.
So-I'm here, Sam.
Where is the box?
I can't believe you fell for that.
That was the plot of Raiders, idiot.
I'm mid-battle, Sam.
I could give a rat's ass about your match with Raphael.
- Listen- - No, you listen.
I don't care what you're dealing with. You owe me.
You may not care, but believe me-
- You think we're here to talk this out? - Sam, I can't just-
If you don't help us, I will hunt you down and kill you.
Will you, boy?
- How? - I don't know yet.
But I will look until I find out, and I don't sleep.
- You need help, Sam. - I need your help.
You actually showed.
Wow, Sam, I owe you a chicken dinner. What happened?
No big. This is what friends do for each other.
It's not working.
Crowley's hidden from me.
Well, looks like we're gonna have to try this the hard way.
Can I help you?
- What do you want? - We wanna know where Crowley is.
If I even knew, why would I tell you?
Because you're our grandfather.
Samuel, I'm gonna get my soul back.
- Who says you can get it back? - Me.
- I'd like to help, but I'm sorry. - This is your grandson's soul.
I can't.
What is wrong with you? You wanna work for Crowley?
Cass, can you give us a minute?
We're your blood.
But if you don't wanna help us, I can't make you.
But I just gotta know why.
What is Crowley holding over you? You owe us that.
- Mom? - He's gonna give her back to me.
- Crowley's gonna bring Mom back? - You tell me you don't want her back.
You know the one difference between us?
You know how to live without her.
Look, I know how you feel. No, you don't.
She's my daughter, and she's dead. And I can do something about it.
- You think Crowley's gonna make good? - He brought Sam back and me.
Trust me. Don't go down that road.
- What are you saying? - I'm saying stop trying.
It's gonna go nowhere good.
Samuel, I know we've had our differences, but I'm your grandson.
And I'm telling you that this is wrong for so many reasons.
- You hypocrite. - I'm asking you learn from our mistakes.
Doing this, this is how the bad guy gets us every time. It's our Achilles heel.
Apparently, it runs in the family.
We will figure something else out, okay?
- I'm sorry, Dean, but- - Fine.
Fine, you bring her back.
But what are you gonna tell her, huh?
Gonna tell her you made a deal with a demon?
- That you wouldn't help out her sons? - All right, that's enough.
Just get out.
It's very complex.
Mm-hm.
If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter...
why does he keep slapping her rear?
Ow!
Perhaps she's done something wrong.
You're watching porn?
- Why? - It was there.
You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes.
And you don't talk about it.
Just turn it off.
Oh, now he's got a boner.
This what you boys do? Sit around watching pornos with angels?
We're not supposed to talk about it.
Why are you here, Samuel?
It's what Mary would want.
Now, this is what I know.
Whatever we bag ends up there.
That's where he tortures, interrogates them, I don't know.
Only been outside the place, but it's a death trap.
Nothing gets in that Crowley doesn't want in.
- And nothing gets out, period. - Well, thanks.
I wish you wouldn't do this.
Come with us.
I may be soft, but I'm not suicidal.
Remember me? I sure remember you, Clarence.
Why are we working with these abominations?
Keep talking dirty. It makes my meat suit all dewy.
All right, simmer down.
- We know where Crowley is. - Great, do tell.
Tell you so you can just leave us for dead.
You boys have serious abandonment issues, you know that?
We'll show you, all right?
- But we're going together. - I'm just supposed to trust you?
No, you're not that stupid.
- Give me the knife. - No, I'm not that stupid.
Do you want us to take you to Crowley or not?
You saw him. He was more interested in killing us than getting the job done.
I just did all of us a favor.
Hey. You just gonna keep that?
You took this from us. I'm taking it back.
We leave in one hour.
You know, Cass, you could help.
I'm ambivalent about what we're attempting.
Breaking into monster Gitmo is not a two-for-one in the champagne room.
I'm not sure retrieving Sam's soul is wise.
Wait, what? Why?
I want him to survive.
What are you talking about?
Sam's soul has been locked in the cage...
with Michael and Lucifer for more than a year...
and they have nothing to do but take their frustrations out on him.
Do you understand?
If we try to force that mutilated thing down Sam's gullet...
we have no idea what will happen.
It could be catastrophic.
- You mean he dies. - I mean he doesn't.
Paralysis, insanity, psychic pain so profound...
that he's locked inside himself for the rest of his life.
But you're saying you don't know anything for sure. He could be fine.
- He could be, yes. - Okay, then.
But I sincerely doubt it.
Well, if he's not fine then you fix him.
- Dean, I wouldn't know where to begin. - Then you figure it out, Cass. Come on.
I mean, the guy's a frigging replicant.
He needs his soul.
Look, we get it back, and if there are complications...
then we will figure out a way to deal with those too.
Of course.
Or we fail, and Sam suffers horrifically.
Seems pretty quiet.
It's not. I can feel it.
Meet me at the side door.
- This all seem a little too easy to you? - Way too easy.
Is someone there?
Please. Please, help me.
You gotta get me out of here.
Please. You gotta get me out of here.
Come on, Dean. We gotta move.
Wait.
What is it?
Damn it. Here come the guards.
Hellhounds.
Go.
I knew this was a trap.
- What do you want, a cupcake? - That should keep them out.
- Not for long. How many are there? - Lots.
- I'll be pulling for you from Cleveland. - What?
I didn't know this was gonna happen. Bright side?
Them chewing up my meat suit ought to buy you a few seconds.
Seacrest out.
It's a spell, I think, from Crowley.
Within these walls, you're locked inside your body.
Karma's a bitch, bitch.
What are you gonna do, you gonna slash thin air until you hit something?
You can see them. Take this, hold them off.
It's our best shot.
At Crowley. Take it and go.
You kill the smarmy dick. I'll hold off the dogs.
Well, how are you gonna do that-?
What was that?
I learned that from the pizza man.
Well, A-plus for you. I feel so clean.
- Okay. Gotta go. - Is that gonna work on a hellhound?
Well, we're about to find out. Run.
I can't see jack.
- Cass? - Dean.
You sold us out?
- Damn you, Samuel. - Yes.
And I have to say, best purchase I've made since Dick Cheney.
Hi, Crowley, how's tricks?
Above your pay grade.
Been working. Big things.
- Alas, you'll be too dead to participate. - Really?
Shame I have to do away with you both.
Rather enjoyed your indentured servitude.
Sam? Yeah?
I'm standing in pee.
Consider yourself lucky.
Yikes.
That sucks.
You want forgiveness, find a priest.
- I just want you to understand- - Oh, I understand that you're a liar.
You talk about putting blood first, which is funny, you sound just like my dad.
- Difference is, he actually did. - I am putting blood first.
- Oh, give me a break. - Mary's my blood.
My daughter. Don't come at me like I sold you out.
You sold out your own mother. It was her or Sam...
and you chose Sam, plain and simple.
Oh, that is such crap. You wanna know what happened?
You chose a demon over your own grandsons.
See it how you want.
I don't even know what Sam is. And you want me to protect him?
And you?
You're a stranger. No, really, tell me.
What exactly are you supposed to be to me?
I'll tell you who I am.
I'm the guy you never wanna see again.
Because I'll make it out of here, trust me.
The next time you see me, I'll be there to kill you.
Don't think there's gonna be a next time.
Whatever gets you through the night.
Get off me. Get off!
So Crowley wants to know...
Well, everything.
He told me to carve it out of you.
Whatever makes you feel like a man.
Ha, ha.
You talk a mean game.
But, uh...
you're scared.
Enjoy.
All right, all right, Shawshank is a great flick...
but let's skip the shower scene, huh?
Look. Breakfast.
What did you do with my brother?
Oh, you'll find out. You're about to join him.
Freaking hate ghouls.
Dean? Let me go, you son of a bitch!
Dean.
You know, you're sticking that thing in all the wrong places.
Really?
You sure were squealing.
Knock yourself out. It's a host body.
Some girl from Sheboygan, moved to L.A. to be an actress.
It's probably not even the worst thing that ever happened to her.
What are you laughing at?
Dean Winchester's behind you, meat sack.
We should go.
Hello, sweetheart.
Feeling chatty this morning, are we?
Do hope so.
Wouldn't want to harm a hair on that pretty little head.
So you ready to tell me all about your daddy?
Hold that thought.
You should be ghoul scat by now.
Really necessary?
I just had this dry-cleaned.
So to what do I owe the reach around?
Crowley.
Whore.
Okay. You know what?
The best torturers never get their hands dirty.
Sam wants a word with you.
What can I do for you, Sam?
You know damn well. I want my soul back.
And here I thought you just grew some balls, Sam.
Well?
- No. - Meg?
- I can't. - Can't or won't?
I said can't, and I meant can't, you mop-headed lumberjack.
I was lucky to get this much of you out.
Going back in there for the sloppy bits?
I'm good, but those two in there? Forget it.
- How do I know you're not lying? - You don't.
But it doesn't change anything. I'm telling you.
Sam, why do you want the thing back?
Satan's got one juicy source of entertainment in there.
I'd swallow a rag off a bathhouse floor before I took that soul.
Unless you want to be a drooling mess.
- Sam, I hate to say it, but he's right. - Yeah, right, I get it, thanks.
He's all yours.
- Are you crazy? He's our only hope. - You heard him.
He can't get it. He's useless.
You'll let me back out, right?
This is for Lucifer, you pompous little-
That's better.
You don't know torture, you little insect.
Leave them alone.
Castiel.
Haven't seen you all season. You the cavalry now?
Put the knife down. You that bossy in heaven?
Hear you're losing out to Raphael.
The whole affair makes Vietnam look like a roller derby.
Hey, what's in the gift bag?
You are.
Not possible.
You didn't hide your bones as well as you should have.
Cookie for you.
Can you restore Sam's soul or not?
If I can help out in any other-
Answer him.
I can't.
Well, she's smart. I'll give her that.
I was gonna kill her too.
Of course, I'd have given you an hour with her first.
Why would I want that?
Thanks, Cass. If it hadn't have been for you...
Crowley was right. It's not going well for me upstairs.
- If there's anything we can do- - There isn't.
I wish circumstances were different.
Much of the time, I'd rather be here.
We know you got a steaming pile on your plate.
There's no need for apologies. We're your friends.
Listen, Sam. We'll find another way.
You really wanna help?
Prison full of monsters.
Can't just leave them, can't let them go.
I understand.
He's right, you know.
About?
About your soul. We'll figure something else out.
- No, we won't. - Oh, why, because Crowley said-
You heard what Crowley said. And I heard what Cass said.
Putting this thing back in would smash me to bits.
- We don't know that for sure. - You know what?
When angels and demons agree on something...
call me nuts, I pay attention.
You say this now?
- After we practically died trying to- - We almost got ourselves killed.
I mean, how many times do we risk our asses for this?
Enough's enough. I don't think I want it back.
You don't even know what you're saying.
No, I'm saying something you don't like.
You obviously care a lot. But I think maybe I'm better off without it.
You're wrong. You don't know how wrong you are.
I'm not sure about that.
Sam, don't walk away.
Sam.
Sam.
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