Original subtitles

I'm not gonna be a superhero.

What else ya gonna do as a Hulk?

Previously, on my show...

Remember my date with the guy with the fetish?

Did you call me a specimen?

As a compliment.

I wanna see the supersuit that Luke made you.

Why? I won't wear it.

You didn't tell me you were nominated for Female Lawyer of the Year.

Do we get to go to a gala?

My friend sent me a link to a video post on that site, Intelligencia.

- I met a guy. - I'm Josh.

We went on a few dates, it was going great.

And I haven't heard from him.

You were ghosted.

Next time you think of Josh,

everyone we meet, no matter how much they hurt you,

is a lesson learned.

ROBBER 1: Is this OLED or QLED?

My online research tells me

OLED is better for color resolution and picture quality.

Funny enough, I actually read the article...

The store might be closed, but you forgot about

the Guard Frog.

The hell is a Guard Frog?

ROBBER 2: I think it's his name.

My name is Leapfrog.

I'm just acting like I'm the Guard Frog in this particular instance.

"The Guard Frog"?

Yeah, but my name is Leapfrog.

Yes, that has been noted several times, Mr. Patilio.

- Cool. - So, your defective suit...

Right. So, I was surrounded by these huge guys.

Twisting toe jam!

Although I was outnumbered, I could tell they were afraid of me.

So, in order to de-escalate the situation, I shouted my signature catchphrase.

Time to ribbit and rip it!

And then next thing I know,

my inflammable suit with a 900-degree threshold is on fire.

And, you guessed it, I have third-degree burns all over my legs.

I mean, I deserve justice.

And compensation for all of my pain, mental anguish and...

Stuff.

Well, this does seem to be a pretty clear case of manufacturer's defect,

negligence, strict liability, and breach of warranty.

- Yes? - I do believe

you are owed compensatory damages.

Yeah! Whoo!

What is the name of the manufacturer?

Luke Jacobson. He specializes in supersuits.

Oh, shit.

Jacobson is the only tailor I can go to because of my unique physique.

Do you think maybe Pug could take this one?

Mr. Patilio is one of our biggest clients.

The guy dressed as a frog?

Mr. Patilio, Sr.

Look, it's very important that we keep the Patilios happy.

Eugene is also very excited to have a Hulk on the case.

And they're willing to sign a conflict waiver

to have you, Ms. Walters.

But I believe I would be ethically compromised

in representing a client against Jacobson.

I like my nice clothes and I don't wanna piss him off.

You've handled a client who had to sign a conflict waiver before,

in a case one would argue is a lot more personal than this one.

Yes, and I would love not to be in that position again.

Also, he's making me a dress for the gala.

Very well, Ms. Walters.

I suggest that you try to come to an agreement with Mr. Jacobson

so then a filing would not be necessary. Understood?

- Ribbit and rip it. - Yes, ribbit and rip it indeed.

Jennifer, do not rush me.

I told you your dress will not be ready until Friday.

You wanna look good for your lawyer award, right?

Uh, yes. Well, Luke, I am here under some

unpleasant business.

I have been retained by a client who suffered serious injuries

due to a dysfunctional suit that you sold him.

Nothing has been filed. I think we can come to some kind of...

Excuse me?

How dare you.

I have never made a defective suit in all my life. My work is impeccable.

Obviously, I know that firsthand. And I...

Trust me, I'm not happy to be doing this.

I'm not trusting you

after you just lumbered in here and stabbed me in the back.

Well, there's no lawsuit yet.

And there won't be

if you just take some responsibility for some of my client's injuries.

I do not make suits that malfunction.

My work speaks for itself.

Oh, excuse me. What did you say?

She wants to tell me something, hold on.

"She-Hulk will never get another suit by Luke Jacobson ever again?"

Oh!

Hey, I pre-paid for that!

Then you shouldn't have betrayed me.

You are blocked, blacklisted and reported!

Now, I am gonna take you down.

Well, I hope it's not down to wherever it is you get your ugly clothes from.

See you in court!

Can you...

Goodbye, tragedy.

Mr. Jacobson, I see you are presently without counsel.

Are you representing yourself?

Representing himself?

Start planning how you're gonna spend all your new money.

Mr. Jacobson?

Of course I'm not representing myself, Your Honor. I'm not a fool.

Then where is your counsel?

I'm here.

Apologies for the tardiness, Your Honor. I had trouble finding parking.

I'm just kidding. My driver got lost.

My name is Matthew Murdock.

I'll be representing Mr. Jacobson in this case.

Hey. Sorry I'm late.

As a first point of order, I'd like to ask that

the motion to compel production of the defendant's client list be rejected

as it's not relevant to the litigation.

Who's this asshole?

Your Honor, I believe this information to be incredibly relevant

given the nature of the complaint.

There could be multiple instances of Mr. Jacobson's other clients

sustaining injuries from faulty merchandise.

I believe Ms. Walters will find that Mr. Jacobson's record

as it pertains to customer satisfaction to be spotless.

If the defendant has nothing to hide, then why not hear from his clients?

That's an invasion of privacy based on a very shaky "what if."

This is a very common procedure in product liability lawsuits.

It is material to the case whether

this type of malfunction has affected other people.

There is no inherent right to privacy

when employing Mr. Jacobson's tailoring services.

We're not just talking about a product here.

The very nature of Mr. Jacobson's line of work,

making suits exclusively for superheroes, necessitates anonymity.

May I remind you that the Sokovia Accords have been repealed.

Superheroes operate in the public eye.

As public figures, it is assumed that there will be some loss of privacy.

We're not talking about celebrities,

but superheroes who have enemies who will try to harm them,

and people close to them.

The ones who didn't ask to be a part of this life.

Ms. Walters chose to have her identity be public,

but she can't choose for everyone else.

This isn't about privacy for privacy's sake.

If this information is not protected, not only would it ruin my client's career,

it could put a lot of people in a lot of danger,

and all over one man's misuse of a suit.

I'm in agreement with Mr. Murdock.

Motion to compel discovery is denied.

Wait. Does that mean I don't get a new suit?

Sit down!

What, no... Look at this thing!

How am I supposed to wear this?

Mr. Patilio, what kind of fuel did you use in your boosters?

Jet fuel.

Wait a minute, you used jet fuel in your boosters?

Because that's not what my instructions said.

What?

Uh...

No, I didn't.

He's lying. Don't ask me how I know, I just know.

Yes, we can all tell he's lying, Mr. Murdock.

If the plaintiff ignored the manufacturer's explicit instructions,

then the defendant is absolved of all liability.

I'm dismissing this case.

Am I gonna go to jail?

No, but I would like you to.

- And Luke, Luke. - Yes, clown?

I just wanted to apologize for...

For daring to question my craftsmanship?

Is there any way that we could go back to you being my tailor?

Jennifer, Jenny, Jen.

No. Because I hate you now.

What's this?

It's from that guy over there.

An appletini? Cute.

Mind if I join you?

Sure.

Would you mind?

I wanted to extend a peace offering.

Ugh! I hate it when people take the high road.

So, what's your story, Matt Murdock?

You're from New York

but you flew all the way out here for a product liability case?

Luke Jacobson made a couple of new suits for me, so I owed him one.

Doesn't really look like it.

That's a low blow insulting a blind man's clothes.

I'm wearing pants, right?

You have your own practice, right?

Ms. Walters, have you been checking up on me?

Yeah. Can you blame me? You came out of nowhere

and you made my dumb client admit

to being even dumber than I thought he was in court.

How did you know about the jet fuel?

A hunch.

What is his deal, by the way?

- Well, I'll give you one guess. - Okay.

It rhymes with "rich parents."

Wait, I said it was rich parents.

His dad is a very important client, so he is a very important client.

Well, you know the expression, "One for them, one for us"?

Yeah.

Well, I run my practice in Hell's Kitchen,

and we mostly do pro bono work. The "us" part.

But I do on occasion take a job with a bigger client

when the bills start piling up. The "them" part.

Wow. Secret double lives of Matt Murdock, how does he do it?

As someone who works for "them" full-time,

I really don't have any gas in the tank for anything else.

Yeah, you say that,

but I think you're in a unique position to do some real good.

You see, the way I see it,

Jen Walters can use the law to help people when society fails them.

And She-Hulk can help people when the law fails them.

So, you can, if you choose...

Be the best of both worlds.

- Excuse me for a moment. - Yeah.

We're all feeling this, right, it's not just me?

Ugh! You remember Todd, that gross tech bro with the She-Hulk fetish?

Ugh!

Hey, do you wanna get another round?

Jen, I am so sorry, I have to go. Something has just come up with work.

Oh, yeah. Totally. I got work, too.

- Yeah. - Um...

Uh, yeah, it was really...

It was nice meeting you.

Yeah, you, too.

Okay.

Mr. Phelps.

Mr... It's Todd.

So, what is the urgent matter that you wanted to discuss with me?

Oh, yeah... So, I was at an auction recently buying art

and then, get this, they had an authentic Wakandan war spear.

So, I, of course, win the auction. A millie.

It's (CLEARS THROAT) a million.

- Dollars. - I got that.

Yeah. So... I mean, you gotta see it, right?

So, here it is. Check this out.

Boom. How cool is that?

I mean, I own that now.

God, no one is collecting African shit on my level.

I love it. I love Wakanda. You know, I actually studied abroad there.

Really?

Wakanda Forever!

Ooh! I... That makes me uncomfortable.

So, is there a legal issue with your purchase?

No, no. Well, okay, they want it back

because apparently it was stolen by colonizers,

but whatever. I mean, I got the receipts.

You know, listen, babe.

Let's just drop the whole coy thing

'cause I don't play games, okay?

And I can feel it and I can tell that we're both feeling it.

Ugh! No!

Oh!

Goodbye. Oh, and I'm billing you for the whole hour.

What?

Oh, God.

- Hello? - Thank God! Ms. Walters, it's Leapfrog.

Listen, you gotta help me. I think I'm being attacked.

Legally or physically?

Definitely physically. But, I mean, maybe legally, too.

Where are you?

I'm on my way to the Lily Pad.

Is that a place I'm supposed to know?

Yeah. It's my famous secret lair.

Yeah, I just need to find my friends.

Okay, I'm gonna try to lose him in this parking lot.

- I'm gonna lose ya. - You're close.

I'm heading to you. We'll meet in the middle.

Hurry!

Whoa!

My car!

You need to back off.

And waste this outfit?

Eugene, get out of here.

Dope supersuit!

You're making a mistake.

You made a mistake when you messed with my client!

'Cause now I'm gonna whoop your ass.

Huh. My ass remains unwhooped.

Yeah? Let's fix that.

Ribbit and rip it!

Where are you going? We're not done.

You're very persistent, aren't you?

And you're very annoying.

See you later!

Come on!

Gotcha.

Whoa, whoa! Jen!

Matt?

Wait. Do you pretend to be blind, man? 'Cause that is really problematic.

No. No, no, I'm blind, I'm blind. Relax. I...

I have a spatial method that I use to see.

Oh, like echolocation?

Yeah, kind of. It's... Basically I have really good hearing.

Or at least I did.

Wait, why were you attacking my client?

Leapfrog is the bad guy here.

He kidnapped Luke Jacobson. He's holding him hostage.

Why didn't you tell me that before we fought?

Why didn't you ask me before trying to whoop my ass?

I'm sorry that I assumed the guy dressed as the devil was the bad one.

Yeah, that's a fair point.

So, are you, like, a superhero?

Like the Gold Devil?

I'm Daredevil.

It is very daring to use ketchup and mustard as your color scheme.

How 'bout I tell Luke?

No! No, please don't.

Okay. Well, if you're done making fun, I need to save my client from your client.

Okay, yeah, let's go.

You ever destroy a parking lot before?

Crap. I'll go leave a note.

Hmm. Subtle.

For version two, we gotta go all out.

I'm talking bulletproof shields,

fancy AI with a British voice that talks to you.

Oh, snap! And some of those poison darts, like the tree frogs.

I don't know who told you that you could pull off this color,

but you should go back to them and shoot them.

Look, I know you're just being mean because I kidnapped you,

but words hurt, man.

Guys, what do we think about the name "Leap Squad"?

You know, like, "Leap Squad!"

I can't believe this dodo has henchmen.

Actually, I can. I bet these goons work for his dad.

Nah, see, that's where you're wrong.

Goons and henchmen are two completely different animals.

Henchmen believe in the cause, goons are just there for the paycheck.

Henchmen, goons, whatever.

There are 25 goons in the building.

Seven below us, eight in the front, and 10 in the hallway.

How do you know that?

I can hear their heartbeats.

You can hear their heartbeats? Come on, that's a little far-fetched.

I can hear yours, too. Your heart's beating pretty fast.

What?

What? No, it's not. I'm healthy.

Okay.

I'll sneak in and take out the goons in the back.

It'll take me 15 seconds for each one.

So, wait here until I've gotten all 10.

I'm not gonna sit here for half an hour while you pick off goons one by one.

That's not how that math works out.

I'm a Hulk. How about I just smash our way in?

They have weapons, Jennifer.

Yeah, good thing She-Hulk is indestructible, Matthew.

Stealth's the way to go. I've done this a million times.

Have you broken into a warehouse full of goons?

Remind me again who has the superpowers here?

I'm pointing at myself.

Oh, yeah, I know. I have echolocation, remember?

Just let me do my thing.

Yeah, and I will do my thing.

You... You don't have a thing. You don't ever do this.

Just follow my lead.

Okay, I guess that's pretty cool.

So, I said I respect that you wanna dress up like a frog,

but that doesn't mean I'm cool with being a baby frog.

Wait, I thought he wanted to call us "Tadpoles."

Yeah, man.

How do you not know what...

GOON 2 ON WALKIE: Tadpole five, come in.

We need backup at the rear entrance. We got...

Tadpole five, repeat.

Hang tight, backup's on the way.

She-Hulk smash.

Ugh! More hench-goons?

How about we don't?

Whoa! Hey! That's vintage!

Hey, what are you doing? You're supposed to be helping me.

I am helping you.

I'm stopping you from getting into even more trouble.

Go call the police.

Don't you yell at me. I'm already very stressed out.

Eugene, let me give you some legal advice.

Stop now, before you rack up even more serious charges.

Legally speaking, we could say this is an episode of mania...

Temporary insanity is murky, but it's not a bad strategy.

I'd angle this more as a form of traumatic expression due to undiagnosed PTSD.

So, the devil ninja guy, he's a lawyer?

No. I'm just a big fan of legal dramas.

This guy's really kinda doing it for me.

It's sad that you thought that would work.

No shame in retreat.

Ribbit and rip it! Oh!

Well, well, well, I suppose we're even now. You're forgiven.

So, you'll make my gala dress?

Yes, of course. I'm not a monster.

Try not to get too bloated between now and then.

Great to be strained professional acquaintances again.

Uh-huh.

Are you gonna give a statement to the cops?

I'm not really a stick around and talk to the cops kinda guy.

Oh, so brooding.

More of a secret identity thing.

- You wouldn't understand. - Mmm-hmm.

Thanks for your help with all of this.

Thanks for your help.

No. You're the one who helped me.

No. I was the lead superhero on this.

Uh, you were they guy who wanted to spend half an hour

picking off each goon, one by one.

You were the woman who caused excessive property damage.

And you still can't get that math right.

When do you head to New York?

- Tomorrow. - Oh... Well...

Hey, maybe next time I'm in town, I can take you out to dinner.

Yeah, or maybe we can skip all of that and just...

That's all right. That's okay.

Wait, you have to... All right, here you go.

Okay. Let's go.

Good morning.

It's weird you guys are still here.

Doesn't it feel like this episode should be over?

Hello! Uh...

Why didn't you answer my calls? I thought that you were dead.

I had to break and enter. By the way,

there's some guy outside dressed in a devil costume

and he's doing the walk of shame 'cause he's...

Oh. You did... With the...

Yes.

Oh, all right. And we're happy?

- Oh, we're happy. - Okay.

All right. You're the devil.

Seriously, what is this scene?

This episode already came to a very satisfying conclusion. Trust me.

Come on! We gotta go. Tell me about it later.

We have to do your hair and your makeup. Where is the gown from Luke?

Oh, for the gala?

Wait, we're doing the gala? That doesn't feel right.

Is next episode the finale?

Come on. Let's go.

Just like a tacked-on set piece near the end of the season.

This is the big twist, isn't it? But the question is,

is it the kind of twist that's like,

"There's another Hulk, but this one's red,"

or like, "I'm getting fridged?"

We gotta make you look amazing.

Whatever. I'm game.

Sweetheart. You didn't bring a jacket? What if you get cold?

She can wear mine, Elaine. We are so proud of you.

- Thank you, Dad. - Your jacket won't fit her, Morris.

You can't cover up a Luke Jacobson-Zuhair Murad collaboration.

Nikki! That's certainly a mouthful.

I'm a little nervous.

Okay. Let's find our table.

- Yeah. There he is. Hi! - Let's go. Come on.

Come on.

Educated.

Accomplished.

Beautiful.

And doing everything regular lawyers do, except backwards,

and in high heels.

This year's Female Lawyer of the Year award goes to...

Jennifer "She-Hulk" Walters!

Let's go!

Kara Hunter.

Alice Chen.

Joanne Torres.

Barbara Wells.

Mallory Book.

Now tell us, what's it like being a female lawyer?

So special and empowering. I love it.

Twice the work, half the recognition,

and you're constantly being asked what it's like being a female lawyer.

Yeah. I'd actually like to take this time to thank my parents.

And my friends, and my esteemed colleagues

without whom I wouldn't be here today.

Do you want to see who She-Hulk really is?

Uh, my identity is not a secret.

This is busted.

This is the truth presented by Intelligencia.

She-Hulk does not deserve your attention. She does not deserve your praise.

She does not deserve the power she stole from the Hulk.

What the hell this? Can somebody cut this off?

Can we turn this off, please?

Okay, let's... Can we stop this?

- And she's a slut. - Can you stop it?

Yeah, maybe you should lie down.

Excuse me! Can you turn this off?

Don't do it, Jen.

Don't do it.

Don't move!

Jen! No!