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1
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Beautiful place, isn't it?
2
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The San Francisco Bay area.
3
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Whoever first decided to settle here
4
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must have been a poet,
5
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and if everybody in this world
6
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was as smart as he thinks he is,
7
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why, this would be
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the most populated community on earth.
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Thank the good lord
10
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the world is full of dumb bells.
11
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Here in our little colony, you know,
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we got only the best.
13
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We have poets, artists, philosophers--
14
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( laughing )
15
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How's it going, George?
16
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Good morning, captain!
17
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Hi, captain-- what you got there?
18
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Oh, this is a block of driftwood.
19
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I'm gonna do a little whittling.
20
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Artist, George is.
21
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He paints nudes.
22
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In plain talk, nekked women.
23
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Most men, when they go out to paint nudes,
24
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They, I don't know, they hop out
25
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And grab themselves a nekked model.
26
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Not George.
27
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That's his own wife who's posing for him.
28
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That's his own, legal wife!
29
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Kind of hard to figure out that kind of reasoning.
30
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Are you talkin' to me, sir?
31
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No, I'm not talkin' to you!
32
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Ever since that movie show Tom Jones,
33
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People think other people
34
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Are looking out and talking to them!
35
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Why should I talk to him?
36
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Oh, this is a fine place to live.
37
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I used to own this boat when she was in service.
38
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When I sold it to the professor six years back,
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I didn't lose a home,
40
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I gained a family.
41
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Ahoy, vina!
42
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Ahoy, captain!
43
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That's the professor's wife, vina.
44
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She's as pretty as the sunshine.
45
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Keeps us all on an even keel, too--
46
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Him, me, and the two kids.
47
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Leaf is his name.
48
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You know, the famous poet professor Leaf.
49
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He teaches over at the University.
50
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Now, all the folks around--
( dog yelps )
51
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Oh, I'm sorry, compass.
52
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Now, all the folks around here
53
00:04:21,726 --> 00:04:24,295
Are his students or his ex-students,
54
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Or just plain admirers,
55
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And there's lots to admire about professor Leaf,
56
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Including his temper.
57
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He teaches the english poetry course
58
00:04:32,504 --> 00:04:34,372
Over at the University of coronia--
59
00:04:34,439 --> 00:04:36,641
That's one of the biggest in the west.
60
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,944
The professor complains that the school's
61
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More interested in their science department
62
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Than in their arts.
63
00:04:42,714 --> 00:04:45,750
Robert, your attitude is mediEval!
64
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Your damn science-- Dean Sawyer, I've had it!
65
00:04:48,654 --> 00:04:50,021
Just because they've got the world's
66
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Biggest uranium-fueled nuclear power plant
67
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Smack dab in the middle of the campus.
68
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He sure hates that power plant,
69
00:04:57,362 --> 00:04:58,630
And all that goes with it.
70
00:04:58,697 --> 00:05:00,298
I don't care how smart they are,
71
00:05:00,365 --> 00:05:02,300
Or how many degrees they've got,
72
00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:03,968
Or how that nuclear gadget of theirs
73
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Works on the drawing board,
74
00:05:05,536 --> 00:05:06,871
An accident is still an accident,
75
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:08,706
And sooner or later they're gonna blow us
76
00:05:08,774 --> 00:05:10,675
All to hell and gone out of here.
77
00:05:10,742 --> 00:05:13,312
It's only a question of time before one of those fellas
78
00:05:13,377 --> 00:05:15,112
Shows up some morning with a hangover
79
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:16,682
And pulls the wrong switch
80
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,951
Or puts too much uranium in the plutonium,
81
00:05:19,017 --> 00:05:21,653
And wham!
82
00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:27,560
And don't think I didn't tell 'em so, either.
83
00:05:29,862 --> 00:05:31,331
( car backfires )
84
00:05:45,543 --> 00:05:46,911
What's wrong, professor?
85
00:05:46,978 --> 00:05:49,581
If I were president of the united states,
86
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:52,416
Do you know the first law i'd propose to congress?
87
00:05:52,483 --> 00:05:54,353
No, sir, I don't, and that's a fact.
88
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,388
I'd propose a law that would make it
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00:05:56,454 --> 00:05:59,123
A penitentiary offense to invent anything
90
00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:00,692
That you couldn't uninvent
91
00:06:00,759 --> 00:06:03,328
If it turned out to be a mistake.
92
00:06:03,394 --> 00:06:04,963
Well, I'll drink to that one--
93
00:06:05,029 --> 00:06:06,297
Vina: Robert?
94
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:09,268
Robert, don't tell me you resigned again.
95
00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:11,971
No, dear, I did not resign again.
96
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,237
Well, what are you doing
97
00:06:13,305 --> 00:06:15,540
Bringing home all your books again?
98
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:19,510
Well, there was a faculty meeting, dear.
99
00:06:19,577 --> 00:06:21,947
Worst memory in California.
100
00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:23,783
Captain, if you must talk to yourself,
101
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,184
Go someplace else and talk--
102
00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:27,585
You're always talking to yourself.
103
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,555
Darling, tell me what happened.
104
00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:32,491
Well, I'm positive I didn't resign.
105
00:06:32,557 --> 00:06:34,526
I-I admit that I started to--
106
00:06:34,593 --> 00:06:36,762
I even put it down on a piece of paper.
107
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:39,365
Oh, darling, you didn't get into a fight?
108
00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:41,533
I certainly did not get into a fight.
109
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,836
I simply told the man that we didn't intend
110
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To let science push the rest of us
111
00:06:46,372 --> 00:06:47,439
Off the sidewalk.
112
00:06:47,505 --> 00:06:49,541
And if he ever tried to put the squeeze
113
00:06:49,608 --> 00:06:51,142
On the english poetry course,
114
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I'd personally make it my business to tear him apart!
115
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,414
Well, now.
116
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,282
What about your Dylan Thomas lecture?
117
00:06:57,348 --> 00:06:59,317
Dang it. What time is it?
118
00:06:59,384 --> 00:07:00,652
Nearly six bells.
119
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,421
Six bells. What's that in o'clock?
120
00:07:02,487 --> 00:07:03,622
That's 3:00, darling.
121
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,825
You've just got time to make it.
122
00:07:05,891 --> 00:07:08,628
W-wouldn't it be faster by car?
123
00:07:17,401 --> 00:07:19,504
I thought you had the car today.
124
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,608
You know, that man once won
125
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The pulitzer prize for poetry?
126
00:07:25,476 --> 00:07:27,979
And then he forgot to pick it up?
127
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,725
( sprightly music playing )
128
00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:46,632
No matter how many crises
129
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:49,035
The professor has during the day,
130
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:52,838
When evening gets here he finds solace in music.
131
00:07:52,904 --> 00:07:54,672
Everybody around here loves
132
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The Leafs' family concerts.
133
00:07:57,074 --> 00:07:58,911
( cello goes flat )
134
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,415
I used to love them myself
135
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:05,718
Before the boy took up the cello.
136
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:17,288
That was very good, ras.
137
00:09:17,355 --> 00:09:18,657
Thanks.
138
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,326
Well, if that's all, dad, I have some biology.
139
00:09:21,393 --> 00:09:22,561
That's all, dear.
Thanks!
140
00:09:22,626 --> 00:09:23,561
Night, Panny.
141
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,096
Good night!
142
00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:26,264
Thank you, Erasmus.
143
00:09:27,798 --> 00:09:30,269
Kenny! Hi, up here!
144
00:09:30,335 --> 00:09:31,336
Well, it's about time.
145
00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:32,437
I thought you'd never come.
146
00:09:32,504 --> 00:09:34,706
I can only stay for a half hour.
147
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,640
I've gotta study my biology.
148
00:09:36,707 --> 00:09:38,076
Well, that's why I'm here!
149
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,144
Oh, Kenny!
150
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:40,611
Shh!
151
00:09:40,678 --> 00:09:41,679
Are you coming up?
152
00:09:41,746 --> 00:09:43,115
Yes, in a few minutes, dear.
153
00:09:45,784 --> 00:09:48,352
Uh, ras, i'd like to talk to you.
154
00:09:48,419 --> 00:09:50,188
Oh, man-to-man stuff.
155
00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:52,924
Already? I'm only eight.
156
00:09:53,892 --> 00:09:55,695
You...sit over there, son.
157
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:01,732
You don't mind having a little chat with dad, do you?
158
00:10:01,799 --> 00:10:04,468
You know, we have to keep in touch,
159
00:10:04,535 --> 00:10:05,870
We men in the family.
160
00:10:05,937 --> 00:10:08,039
Nothing wrong, nothing like that,
161
00:10:08,105 --> 00:10:10,775
It's just that i-i was thinking,
162
00:10:10,842 --> 00:10:12,944
We had quite a few little bloopers
163
00:10:13,011 --> 00:10:14,312
This evening, didn't we?
164
00:10:14,379 --> 00:10:15,713
Did you notice them, too?
165
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Here and there, yeah.
166
00:10:17,014 --> 00:10:19,350
Here and there. That's a--
167
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:20,451
Nothing too serious.
168
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:22,453
Finest musicians in the world
169
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,389
Hit a clinker now and then.
170
00:10:24,456 --> 00:10:25,858
We're not professionals.
171
00:10:25,924 --> 00:10:27,592
We're simply a family that happens
172
00:10:27,659 --> 00:10:29,694
To love music, wouldn't you say so?
173
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Yes, sir.
174
00:10:31,062 --> 00:10:34,500
Well, that's all that really matters, son.
175
00:10:34,566 --> 00:10:37,101
That's all that matters-- to love it.
176
00:10:37,168 --> 00:10:39,403
It doesn't matter how many mistakes you make,
177
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As long as you've got it here.
178
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,175
And you know what this is.
179
00:10:43,241 --> 00:10:44,242
Your shirt.
180
00:10:47,778 --> 00:10:49,114
No, it's your heart.
181
00:10:49,181 --> 00:10:50,449
It's your heart,
182
00:10:50,515 --> 00:10:51,983
And as long as you've got it here,
183
00:10:52,049 --> 00:10:54,085
That's all that matters. And we've got it here--
184
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:56,086
You and mom and pan and me, haven't we?
185
00:10:56,153 --> 00:10:57,923
Hearts?
186
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,691
Well...
187
00:10:59,758 --> 00:11:02,293
Yeah. Sometimes it seems to me
188
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,029
That this whole world today is divided up
189
00:11:05,096 --> 00:11:06,764
Between the people who've got hearts
190
00:11:06,831 --> 00:11:08,533
And the people who haven't.
191
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,835
You mean, like the good guys
192
00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:11,437
And the bad guys?
193
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,038
Well, t-that's a very good way to put it, son.
194
00:11:14,105 --> 00:11:17,208
Yeah, like the good guys and the bad guys.
195
00:11:17,275 --> 00:11:19,377
And we wanna be the good guys, don't we?
196
00:11:19,443 --> 00:11:21,079
Yes, sir.
Sure we do.
197
00:11:21,145 --> 00:11:22,947
And as I say, making a few mistakes--
198
00:11:23,014 --> 00:11:24,316
That's not important.
199
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:27,552
What's really important is are we trying.
200
00:11:27,619 --> 00:11:29,387
Are we making an honest effort,
201
00:11:29,453 --> 00:11:30,521
An effort from the heart--
202
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:32,157
Like practicing enough.
203
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:33,925
I think so.
204
00:11:33,991 --> 00:11:35,961
Well, then, what about all those bloopers?
205
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,729
She couldn't help it.
206
00:11:37,796 --> 00:11:38,964
Who couldn't help it?
207
00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:40,832
Panny.
208
00:11:40,899 --> 00:11:44,735
Well, son, I'm not sure i-I'm following you.
209
00:11:44,802 --> 00:11:48,240
You're mad because she made all those mistakes.
210
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,875
Because she made all those mistakes?
211
00:11:50,942 --> 00:11:55,947
She was trying very hard, dad.
212
00:11:56,014 --> 00:11:57,416
You don't think you made any?
213
00:11:57,482 --> 00:11:59,216
No, sir, not tonight.
214
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:00,686
None at all?
215
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,722
You said it was good, didn't you?
216
00:12:06,490 --> 00:12:07,826
What's wrong?
217
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:11,430
Now, ras, I want you to...
218
00:12:13,097 --> 00:12:15,700
To listen. Listen to this.
219
00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:17,937
( playing "my country 'tis of thee" )
220
00:12:20,004 --> 00:12:22,341
( playing dissonant chords )
221
00:12:24,309 --> 00:12:27,345
Gee, dad, I didn't know you could play the piano.
222
00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:28,514
What was that?
223
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:30,014
"my country 'tis of thee."
224
00:12:30,081 --> 00:12:32,183
What did you think of the way I played it?
225
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:36,020
Oh, that was great, dad. That was just super.
226
00:12:38,923 --> 00:12:40,192
Thanks a lot.
227
00:12:41,493 --> 00:12:44,629
Well, it's about time for bed, isn't it, son?
228
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:45,864
Yes, sir.
229
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,733
Don't say anything to Panny about it,
230
00:12:47,799 --> 00:12:49,734
Will you, daddy? She tries so hard!
231
00:12:49,801 --> 00:12:51,670
I won't say a word. Won't say a word.
232
00:12:51,736 --> 00:12:52,670
Good night, daddy.
233
00:12:52,738 --> 00:12:54,306
Good night, son.
234
00:12:58,043 --> 00:13:00,379
Whoops. I nearly forgot my cello.
235
00:13:06,884 --> 00:13:07,919
The captain: compass!
236
00:13:07,985 --> 00:13:09,520
( dog growls )
237
00:13:09,587 --> 00:13:10,522
Compass?
238
00:13:13,191 --> 00:13:15,761
I spilled my pipe on him.
239
00:13:15,826 --> 00:13:18,395
I gotta get me a fire-proof dog.
240
00:13:18,462 --> 00:13:19,496
Compass!
241
00:13:19,563 --> 00:13:21,000
Compass?
242
00:13:27,172 --> 00:13:30,908
Honey, what I want you to do tomorrow morning--
243
00:13:30,975 --> 00:13:32,945
I want you to go into town
244
00:13:33,011 --> 00:13:34,945
And buy Erasmus
245
00:13:35,013 --> 00:13:38,350
Some paints and brushes and canvas.
246
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,685
What's this?
247
00:13:39,751 --> 00:13:41,385
I just found out what's wrong
248
00:13:41,452 --> 00:13:42,821
With his cello playing.
249
00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:45,090
He's tone deaf!
250
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:46,258
Oh, no.
251
00:13:46,323 --> 00:13:48,325
Either that, or he just naturally likes
252
00:13:48,393 --> 00:13:50,629
The bad notes better than the good ones.
253
00:13:50,695 --> 00:13:51,963
Darling, I'm sorry.
254
00:13:52,029 --> 00:13:58,669
No, but we're not gonna give up on this thing.
It's just a wonderful little boy we've got there,
255
00:13:58,736 --> 00:14:01,906
A really outstanding little fella.
256
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:03,942
Now, if we can just find out
257
00:14:04,008 --> 00:14:06,144
What he's outstanding at,
258
00:14:06,211 --> 00:14:08,712
And if it isn't music, maybe it's art.
259
00:14:08,779 --> 00:14:10,281
Supposing it isn't art?
260
00:14:10,347 --> 00:14:12,350
All right, then we'll try literature,
261
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,786
As soon as he learns how to spell.
262
00:14:14,852 --> 00:14:16,186
If it's not literature,
263
00:14:16,254 --> 00:14:18,624
We could try architecture--
Sure.
264
00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,592
And philosophy--
Sure.
265
00:14:20,658 --> 00:14:22,159
And flamenco dancing.
Sure.
266
00:14:22,226 --> 00:14:23,962
Now, this is no joke, honey,
267
00:14:24,028 --> 00:14:25,230
And besides, we're not gonna make
268
00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,831
The same mistake with ras
269
00:14:26,898 --> 00:14:28,700
That we did with Panny-- just give up.
270
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:31,103
Oh, naturally not-- Panny was only a little girl!
271
00:14:31,169 --> 00:14:32,003
What?
272
00:14:32,070 --> 00:14:33,405
Well, you catch a father taking
273
00:14:33,471 --> 00:14:35,807
The same trouble with his daughter--
274
00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:37,542
But if it's his son, the works!
275
00:14:37,609 --> 00:14:38,977
What are you talking about?
276
00:14:39,043 --> 00:14:40,946
I couldn't love Panny anymore
277
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:42,714
If she were my own daughter!
278
00:14:42,780 --> 00:14:44,515
And whose, pray, do you think she is?
279
00:14:44,582 --> 00:14:45,783
I-i didn't mean that.
280
00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:48,253
You've never shown that concern about her.
281
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,754
Well, in other ways I have.
282
00:14:49,821 --> 00:14:53,057
And besides, how are you gonna make an artist out of a girl
283
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:55,427
Who in the third grade decided to make it
284
00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:58,730
Her sole aim in life to marry a millionaire?
285
00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:00,499
You know she's only kidding.
286
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,167
Oh, no, I'm not!
287
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,302
We're not talking to you!
288
00:15:04,369 --> 00:15:06,004
You just show me a millionaire,
289
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,072
And you'll see whether I'm kidding or not.
290
00:15:08,139 --> 00:15:11,009
This is cornelius vanderbilt calling.
291
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,845
I'd like to talk to Miss pandora Leaf
292
00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:14,044
Regarding matrimony!
293
00:15:14,111 --> 00:15:15,947
You keep out of this, George!
294
00:15:16,014 --> 00:15:18,049
Yeah, George, put some clothes on your wife
295
00:15:18,115 --> 00:15:19,183
And go to bed!
296
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,386
( laughing ) okay.
297
00:15:22,553 --> 00:15:26,690
I'm...I'm sorry I said that about Panny.
298
00:15:26,758 --> 00:15:30,095
I know she didn't mean it.
299
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,998
I hope you didn't mean it about Erasmus, either.
300
00:15:34,065 --> 00:15:36,135
He's so little, darling, and so sweet.
301
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:38,803
Do we have to push him just yet?
302
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:42,173
Now, look, honey, I never did pretend
303
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,774
To know anything about girls,
304
00:15:43,841 --> 00:15:45,177
But you're talking about boys.
305
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:46,879
Now, that's something else again.
306
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,947
I happen to have been one myself,
307
00:15:49,013 --> 00:15:51,048
And I'm telling you that this is
308
00:15:51,115 --> 00:15:53,018
Exactly the age to lend them a hand
309
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:54,118
In his development.
310
00:15:54,184 --> 00:15:56,620
You see, this little mind of his
311
00:15:56,687 --> 00:15:58,157
Is just awakening,
312
00:15:58,222 --> 00:16:00,291
And all around life is calling,
313
00:16:00,357 --> 00:16:02,326
And it tries to answer, but it can't,
314
00:16:02,393 --> 00:16:05,028
Because it's bewildered and confused.
315
00:16:05,096 --> 00:16:07,865
This is that magical moment
316
00:16:07,932 --> 00:16:09,400
Of childish innocence
317
00:16:09,467 --> 00:16:13,438
When he just doesn't yet know what he wants.
318
00:16:13,504 --> 00:16:17,708
I...would...like...
319
00:16:17,775 --> 00:16:21,646
To...kiss...
320
00:16:21,712 --> 00:16:26,184
You...good...night.
321
00:16:33,057 --> 00:16:37,694
Very...truly...
322
00:16:37,761 --> 00:16:41,065
Erasmus.
323
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,600
( door closes )
324
00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:59,384
Erasmus...Leaf.
325
00:17:12,196 --> 00:17:14,599
You mark my words-- five years from now,
326
00:17:14,665 --> 00:17:17,368
There'll be nothing on this campus but science.
327
00:17:17,434 --> 00:17:20,371
Nothing but scientists as far as the eye can see,
328
00:17:20,438 --> 00:17:22,741
As far as the eye can see!
329
00:17:22,807 --> 00:17:24,175
And all that old-fashioned jazz
330
00:17:24,242 --> 00:17:25,943
That used to clutter up a college,
331
00:17:26,010 --> 00:17:28,946
Like literature and philosophy and art,
332
00:17:29,013 --> 00:17:31,115
Forget it. Forget it!
333
00:17:31,182 --> 00:17:33,184
It'll be as dead as the minuet.
334
00:17:33,251 --> 00:17:36,120
And instead of studying man
335
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:39,057
And his dreams of beauty,
336
00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,991
Everybody'll be working on a machine
337
00:17:41,058 --> 00:17:44,195
That smokes virginia hams electronically
338
00:17:44,262 --> 00:17:46,597
Or makes a hen lay eggs like a machine gun--
339
00:17:46,664 --> 00:17:48,566
Pthump, pthump, pthump-- like a machine gun!
340
00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:51,336
And maybe there's a great big whopper--
341
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:54,538
A machine that does so much, so fast,
342
00:17:54,605 --> 00:17:56,441
That it automatically throws a million men
343
00:17:56,507 --> 00:17:58,910
Out of work by this afternoon at 5:00.
344
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:01,146
This afternoon at 5:00-- personally,
345
00:18:01,211 --> 00:18:02,579
I don't want to fly
346
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:05,250
From san francisco to new york in an hour,
347
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:07,586
With my stomach hung up over denver someplace.
348
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:08,953
I don't wanna do that!
349
00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:10,455
Male student: you tell 'em, prof.
350
00:18:10,521 --> 00:18:12,590
Female student: but what's going to happen to us
351
00:18:12,657 --> 00:18:13,724
Five years from today?
352
00:18:13,791 --> 00:18:15,225
Huh? What?
353
00:18:15,292 --> 00:18:17,862
I said what about us, five years from now?
354
00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:21,232
Well, if you mean by "us"
355
00:18:21,298 --> 00:18:24,068
The crackpots that think that a sonnet by shakespeare
356
00:18:24,135 --> 00:18:25,737
Is worth more than 500 scientists
357
00:18:25,803 --> 00:18:26,939
Sitting around on the moon
358
00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:28,407
Wondering how they're gonna get home,
359
00:18:28,472 --> 00:18:30,241
I...
360
00:18:30,308 --> 00:18:32,978
I guess we'll just stay here
361
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,047
Until they're all up there,
362
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,915
And then we'll resume where sanity left off.
363
00:18:37,982 --> 00:18:41,653
I guess--i guess that's what's gonna happen to us.
364
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,188
( laughing )
365
00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:06,043
Why the cab? You leave the wagon in town?
366
00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,312
Something happen?
367
00:19:07,378 --> 00:19:08,980
The wagon break down?
368
00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:10,248
Wagon? What--
369
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:11,950
Well, where's that note that vina pinned
370
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:13,317
On your lapel this morning?
371
00:19:13,384 --> 00:19:14,886
Oh, I don't know.
372
00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,089
( grunts )
373
00:19:18,155 --> 00:19:19,857
"don't give him a ride home
374
00:19:19,924 --> 00:19:22,492
Because he has the car today."
375
00:19:22,559 --> 00:19:23,294
Dang it.
376
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,763
Hey! Hey, taxi!
377
00:19:25,829 --> 00:19:27,365
Robert,
378
00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:29,166
Can you please come here?
379
00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:31,269
But I left the car over--over--over--at the--
380
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,971
But this is important, love.
381
00:19:34,038 --> 00:19:35,507
Come on in.
382
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:39,210
He's the only man I know who sends candy
383
00:19:39,277 --> 00:19:41,511
To his father on mother's day.
384
00:19:41,578 --> 00:19:43,815
Oh, good afternoon, Miss Eva.
385
00:19:43,881 --> 00:19:45,350
How do you do?
Hi, ras.
386
00:19:45,416 --> 00:19:47,884
Well, has this young fella been acting up in class?
387
00:19:47,951 --> 00:19:49,721
Oh, no, indeed, professor.
388
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:50,655
Not Erasmus.
389
00:19:50,721 --> 00:19:52,156
Would you explain to my husband
390
00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:53,390
Exactly what happened?
391
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:55,026
It was really amazing.
392
00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:56,160
I was standing--
393
00:19:56,227 --> 00:19:58,062
I think it would be better if you told him
394
00:19:58,128 --> 00:19:59,798
Exactly the same way as you told me.
395
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,367
Well, this was Erasmus' first day in the third grade,
396
00:20:03,433 --> 00:20:06,171
And we have arithmetic right after the noon recess.
397
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:07,939
Well, I was standing at the board,
398
00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:10,575
Giving the class a rather difficult multiplication problem...
399
00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:13,679
Let's see who gets the answer first.
400
00:20:13,744 --> 00:20:15,579
Erasmus: 108.
401
00:20:15,646 --> 00:20:17,381
Now, Erasmus, is that nice?
402
00:20:17,448 --> 00:20:19,984
You know we mustn't look in the back of the book.
403
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:22,753
I haven't got a book.
404
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:24,855
All right, then, let's try this one.
405
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,862
2,414.
406
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:35,233
You mean you did that in your head?
407
00:20:35,298 --> 00:20:36,934
I don't know.
408
00:20:39,537 --> 00:20:41,273
In that case, young man,
409
00:20:41,339 --> 00:20:43,674
Let's see you try this one.
410
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:59,258
353,853,640.
411
00:21:05,695 --> 00:21:08,332
Well, you can imagine my astonishment.
412
00:21:08,398 --> 00:21:10,534
Yes, yes, I can.
413
00:21:10,601 --> 00:21:12,771
Without the faintest shadow of a doubt,
414
00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:14,405
He's a true prodigy,
415
00:21:14,472 --> 00:21:16,740
A true mathematical prodigy.
416
00:21:16,807 --> 00:21:17,642
Uh-huh.
417
00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:19,477
Well, I thought you and Mrs. Leaf
418
00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:21,013
Would like to know at once.
419
00:21:21,078 --> 00:21:22,513
That was most thoughtful of you.
420
00:21:22,579 --> 00:21:24,648
I'd better hurry, now, if I'm to catch
421
00:21:24,715 --> 00:21:26,317
Dean Sawyer before he leaves.
422
00:21:26,384 --> 00:21:28,051
You don't mean you're gonna tell him!
423
00:21:28,118 --> 00:21:29,220
Oh, will he be happy!
424
00:21:29,287 --> 00:21:30,922
Miss Eva, I wonder...
Yes?
425
00:21:30,989 --> 00:21:33,423
Do you think we could keep this a secret?
426
00:21:33,490 --> 00:21:36,294
You don't mean from Dean Sawyer, do you?
427
00:21:36,361 --> 00:21:38,096
Y-y-just for a little while,
428
00:21:38,163 --> 00:21:39,396
While we study the situation.
429
00:21:39,463 --> 00:21:41,465
Now, as you know better than anybody else,
430
00:21:41,532 --> 00:21:43,266
This could have a very important bearing
431
00:21:43,334 --> 00:21:44,969
On the whole of the rest of his life!
432
00:21:45,036 --> 00:21:47,739
Now, if we could feel free to come to you
433
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:49,441
For advice from time to time--
434
00:21:49,507 --> 00:21:51,475
Oh, you must.
435
00:21:51,541 --> 00:21:52,676
And you're quite right--
436
00:21:52,743 --> 00:21:54,945
It's the child we've got to think of first,
437
00:21:55,012 --> 00:21:56,246
Not the mathematician.
438
00:21:56,314 --> 00:21:58,115
Yes, that's right, exactly.
439
00:21:58,182 --> 00:21:59,317
And I knew you'd understand,
440
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:01,252
And we appreciate this very much.
441
00:22:01,318 --> 00:22:03,120
My lips are sealed.
442
00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:04,422
Thank you, Miss Eva.
Bye, now.
443
00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:06,057
Bye!
Good-bye, Miss Eva.
444
00:22:18,102 --> 00:22:20,971
Well, ras, you certainly...
445
00:22:21,038 --> 00:22:22,440
You certainly, uh,
446
00:22:22,506 --> 00:22:25,676
D-w-what--is it some sort of a trick?
447
00:22:25,742 --> 00:22:26,744
No, sir.
448
00:22:26,811 --> 00:22:28,312
Well, then, how'd you do it?
449
00:22:28,378 --> 00:22:29,947
I don't know.
450
00:22:32,016 --> 00:22:34,285
Some sort of a trick, you know, b-bu--
451
00:22:34,352 --> 00:22:35,620
Because I couldn't multiply--
452
00:22:35,686 --> 00:22:38,121
Even mom, she couldn't mm--
453
00:22:38,189 --> 00:22:43,961
How much is 1,726 times 8,726?
454
00:22:44,028 --> 00:22:48,066
15,061,076.
455
00:22:51,469 --> 00:22:52,571
Is that right?
456
00:22:56,574 --> 00:22:59,577
Uh, uh, that's pretty good, ras,
457
00:22:59,644 --> 00:23:01,378
But I want to tell you something.
458
00:23:01,445 --> 00:23:03,613
I don't want you to do it anymore,
459
00:23:03,681 --> 00:23:05,683
Because if they find out about this,
460
00:23:05,750 --> 00:23:07,417
Do you know what they're going to say?
461
00:23:07,484 --> 00:23:08,752
No, sir.
462
00:23:08,819 --> 00:23:10,355
They'll say there goes that Erasmus Leaf.
463
00:23:10,422 --> 00:23:11,923
He's a mathematician!
464
00:23:11,990 --> 00:23:12,856
( whispers ) gosh.
465
00:23:12,923 --> 00:23:14,424
And we don't want that, do we?
466
00:23:14,491 --> 00:23:15,626
No, sir.
467
00:23:15,693 --> 00:23:17,894
Of course not. Of course we don't,
468
00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:20,897
So we'll just keep this our own, little,
469
00:23:20,964 --> 00:23:24,001
Closely-guarded family secret, huh?
470
00:23:24,067 --> 00:23:25,136
That's a boy.
471
00:23:39,917 --> 00:23:40,917
Vina?
472
00:23:40,984 --> 00:23:41,919
Vina?
473
00:23:43,988 --> 00:23:45,789
Where's your mother?
474
00:23:45,856 --> 00:23:48,026
Oh! I think she's downstairs, isn't she?
475
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:51,761
What are you doing?
476
00:23:51,828 --> 00:23:52,762
Nothing!
477
00:23:52,829 --> 00:23:54,898
Well, don't do it so close together.
478
00:23:54,965 --> 00:23:56,767
Thank you, sir.
479
00:23:56,835 --> 00:23:57,903
Vina?
480
00:24:06,411 --> 00:24:07,546
Vina!
481
00:24:09,013 --> 00:24:10,781
See this?
482
00:24:13,417 --> 00:24:14,618
Oh, dear.
483
00:24:14,685 --> 00:24:16,287
Hello, Evening Herald? Give me the editor.
484
00:24:16,354 --> 00:24:17,455
Now, just a minute, darling.
485
00:24:17,521 --> 00:24:18,855
I'm gonna give him his choice--
486
00:24:18,923 --> 00:24:21,159
Either print a full retraction of the whole nonsense,
487
00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:22,560
Or he's gonna hear from me.
488
00:24:22,626 --> 00:24:24,494
Yes, but it's true.
Yes, who is it?
489
00:24:24,561 --> 00:24:26,029
Wh-what di-did you say?
490
00:24:26,096 --> 00:24:26,964
It's true.
Hello?
491
00:24:27,031 --> 00:24:28,566
What, the headlines of the story?
492
00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:30,235
Hello, who is this? Are you there?
493
00:24:30,300 --> 00:24:31,336
H-what do you want?
494
00:24:31,402 --> 00:24:32,803
You called me. What do you want?
495
00:24:32,869 --> 00:24:34,738
D-d-don't bother me. I'm busy!
496
00:24:34,805 --> 00:24:36,875
When it happened, I had no idea
497
00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:39,009
They were going to print it in the newspaper.
498
00:24:39,076 --> 00:24:41,679
L-l-let's not panic, now, let's just keep calm,
499
00:24:41,746 --> 00:24:45,316
And l-let's examine the situation, uh, coolly.
500
00:24:45,383 --> 00:24:47,052
All right, now, w-w-what happened?
501
00:24:47,117 --> 00:24:49,787
It was the afternoon that I went to buy
502
00:24:49,854 --> 00:24:51,154
The paints for Erasmus,
503
00:24:51,221 --> 00:24:53,723
And we stopped by the bank to cash a check,
504
00:24:53,790 --> 00:24:56,094
And they were just getting ready to close.
505
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,028
There we are.
506
00:24:58,095 --> 00:24:59,264
I'll be right back.
507
00:25:26,289 --> 00:25:27,625
Good afternoon, young man.
508
00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:28,894
This is wrong.
509
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:29,727
The statement?
510
00:25:29,794 --> 00:25:31,830
It's $1,012 too much.
511
00:25:31,896 --> 00:25:33,597
Well, I'll just have to fire our bookkeeper,
512
00:25:33,663 --> 00:25:34,865
Won't i, young man?
513
00:25:34,932 --> 00:25:35,900
Yes, sir.
514
00:25:35,967 --> 00:25:37,068
All set.
515
00:25:37,134 --> 00:25:38,001
Off we go.
516
00:25:38,068 --> 00:25:39,537
Your son was just pointing out
517
00:25:39,604 --> 00:25:41,404
That our balance is in error.
518
00:25:41,471 --> 00:25:43,407
Oh, well then, that's quite possible.
519
00:25:43,474 --> 00:25:46,076
$1,012 too much.
520
00:25:46,144 --> 00:25:47,778
I'd advise you to call
521
00:25:47,845 --> 00:25:49,447
The attention of your manager to that.
522
00:25:49,513 --> 00:25:51,815
I am the manager, Mrs., uh...
523
00:25:51,882 --> 00:25:55,253
Leaf. Uh, if Erasmus found a mistake--
524
00:25:55,319 --> 00:25:56,620
Mrs. Leaf, if housewives
525
00:25:56,688 --> 00:25:58,123
Kept their checkbooks as well balanced,
526
00:25:58,189 --> 00:25:59,790
We in banking would have very little--
527
00:25:59,856 --> 00:26:01,459
We're not discussing housewives' balances,
528
00:26:01,526 --> 00:26:03,894
Mr. Manager, we're discussing yours.
529
00:26:03,961 --> 00:26:06,064
And if my son says that you're in error,
530
00:26:06,130 --> 00:26:08,066
There's a very strong possibility
531
00:26:08,133 --> 00:26:09,232
That you are in error.
532
00:26:09,299 --> 00:26:10,501
My dear lady, I don't know
533
00:26:10,567 --> 00:26:11,669
How bankers in england operate,
534
00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:13,137
But here in america, we have--
535
00:26:13,203 --> 00:26:14,571
In england, my dear sir,
536
00:26:14,638 --> 00:26:16,940
The bankers are acutely aware of the fact
537
00:26:17,008 --> 00:26:18,675
That the young people of today
538
00:26:18,741 --> 00:26:21,046
Are the banking customers of tomorrow,
539
00:26:21,112 --> 00:26:23,915
And they make every effort to instill confidence,
540
00:26:23,980 --> 00:26:26,917
Both in their management and in their arithmetic.
541
00:26:26,983 --> 00:26:29,586
Have you a copy of this statement in there?
542
00:26:29,653 --> 00:26:30,654
Yes, sir.
543
00:26:30,721 --> 00:26:32,990
Run it through the machine again.
544
00:26:33,057 --> 00:26:35,159
It's in the bottom bunch of numbers.
545
00:26:35,226 --> 00:26:37,395
Fortunately, Mrs. Leaf, we are in a position
546
00:26:37,461 --> 00:26:40,498
To give you a prompt and exact tabulation of these figures,
547
00:26:40,565 --> 00:26:43,034
Which I trust will instill you and Erasmus
548
00:26:43,099 --> 00:26:45,502
With the confidence you obviously had
549
00:26:45,569 --> 00:26:46,971
In the bayshore national bank
550
00:26:47,038 --> 00:26:49,406
When you opened your account at this branch.
551
00:26:49,473 --> 00:26:50,841
Excuse me.
552
00:26:53,711 --> 00:26:55,913
Can we go now, mom?
553
00:26:55,980 --> 00:26:58,383
Don't you want to wait and see if you're right?
554
00:27:08,192 --> 00:27:09,594
Manager: how much?
555
00:27:09,661 --> 00:27:11,830
1,012.
556
00:27:19,135 --> 00:27:21,673
It was 1,012.
557
00:27:21,739 --> 00:27:24,575
That poor kid.
558
00:27:24,642 --> 00:27:27,912
That poor, spooky little kid!
559
00:27:31,615 --> 00:27:32,650
Hey, there he is!
560
00:27:32,715 --> 00:27:34,885
( clamoring )
561
00:27:34,952 --> 00:27:37,187
How old are you, son?
562
00:27:39,723 --> 00:27:41,192
Excuse me, please.
563
00:27:41,259 --> 00:27:42,125
Wait a minute, mother!
564
00:27:42,192 --> 00:27:43,760
We wanna talk to him about it!
565
00:27:43,827 --> 00:27:45,028
Tell us what happened--
566
00:27:45,096 --> 00:27:47,766
We're trying to get a story, lady!
567
00:27:53,770 --> 00:27:55,272
( honking )
568
00:27:59,609 --> 00:28:00,544
Robert: halt!
569
00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:01,679
( woman shrieks)
570
00:28:01,746 --> 00:28:02,747
We're the press.
571
00:28:02,813 --> 00:28:03,948
Just back off!
572
00:28:04,015 --> 00:28:05,015
We wanna see Erasmus.
573
00:28:05,082 --> 00:28:06,884
Well, you're not going to.
574
00:28:06,951 --> 00:28:08,685
My son's only eight years old,
575
00:28:08,752 --> 00:28:09,919
And that's entirely too young
576
00:28:09,987 --> 00:28:11,589
To be mixed up in all this publicity.
577
00:28:11,655 --> 00:28:12,656
Your son is news!
578
00:28:12,723 --> 00:28:14,491
And we wanna see him.
579
00:28:14,558 --> 00:28:15,993
You're not going to see him.
580
00:28:16,059 --> 00:28:18,028
Come on, we just wanna talk to the kid.
581
00:28:18,095 --> 00:28:19,730
Now, look, I'm through talking,
582
00:28:19,797 --> 00:28:22,166
And the first one that tries to board this vessel
583
00:28:22,232 --> 00:28:23,867
Is gonna have to answer to this.
584
00:28:23,933 --> 00:28:25,936
You got a license for that gun?
585
00:28:26,003 --> 00:28:28,204
I not only have a license for this gun,
586
00:28:28,271 --> 00:28:30,840
But as commanding officer of this boat,
587
00:28:30,907 --> 00:28:34,644
Registry number 592777,
588
00:28:34,711 --> 00:28:36,747
It's my duty to use this gun
589
00:28:36,814 --> 00:28:38,716
For the defense of my ship
590
00:28:38,782 --> 00:28:40,984
Against pirates and against anybody
591
00:28:41,051 --> 00:28:42,819
That tries to board this ship illegally.
592
00:28:42,886 --> 00:28:43,953
Now, get out of there.
593
00:28:44,020 --> 00:28:45,322
Now, cut it out, you nut.
594
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:47,191
Come on, professor, we just wanna talk.
595
00:28:47,258 --> 00:28:48,192
Go on, beat it!
596
00:28:48,259 --> 00:28:49,259
The safety's on.
597
00:28:49,326 --> 00:28:50,260
Oh? ( gun fires )
598
00:28:50,326 --> 00:28:51,930
( screaming )
599
00:28:53,063 --> 00:28:55,366
Darling, there's a call from new york.
600
00:28:55,432 --> 00:28:56,567
Will you take it?
601
00:28:56,634 --> 00:28:58,001
All right, but you fellas--
602
00:28:58,068 --> 00:29:00,104
I'll warn you not to make any sudden moves.
603
00:29:00,171 --> 00:29:02,240
This friend of mine's a hysteric.
604
00:29:02,307 --> 00:29:03,942
I'll take care of 'em.
605
00:29:12,683 --> 00:29:14,351
Hello?
Hello, professor.
606
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:15,819
This is Harvard associates.
607
00:29:15,885 --> 00:29:17,221
Harvard?
That's right.
608
00:29:17,288 --> 00:29:19,457
Now, without thinking, just off the top of your head,
609
00:29:19,523 --> 00:29:21,591
What is your reaction to this title--
610
00:29:21,657 --> 00:29:22,793
Ready?
What title?
611
00:29:22,859 --> 00:29:24,328
"meet the kid."
612
00:29:24,394 --> 00:29:25,562
Beat the what?
613
00:29:25,630 --> 00:29:26,797
Meet the kid.
614
00:29:26,864 --> 00:29:28,899
I-i-i-i think I must have Missed something.
615
00:29:28,965 --> 00:29:30,166
The idea is this, professor.
616
00:29:30,233 --> 00:29:31,935
Each week, Erasmus would face
617
00:29:32,001 --> 00:29:33,604
A panel of top mathematicians,
618
00:29:33,671 --> 00:29:35,306
Physicists, biochemists--
What for?
619
00:29:35,373 --> 00:29:36,874
Well, I throw out a problem.
620
00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:38,442
The clock ticks, tick tick tick,
621
00:29:38,509 --> 00:29:40,743
And the eggheads try to beat the kid!
622
00:29:40,810 --> 00:29:42,879
He couldn't possibly do a thing like that!
623
00:29:42,946 --> 00:29:44,214
That's the most ridiculous thing--
624
00:29:44,281 --> 00:29:45,782
What's ridiculous, if we feed him
625
00:29:45,849 --> 00:29:47,483
The answers ahead of time?
626
00:29:47,550 --> 00:29:49,586
Say, did you say "Harvard"?
627
00:29:49,653 --> 00:29:51,020
That's right. Edgar Harvard.
628
00:29:51,087 --> 00:29:52,490
I package TV shows.
629
00:29:52,557 --> 00:29:54,158
Why...you--
630
00:29:54,224 --> 00:29:55,259
Scoundrel.
631
00:29:56,727 --> 00:29:58,394
Fella like that oughta be taken out!
632
00:29:58,461 --> 00:29:59,797
( gunshot )
633
00:29:59,864 --> 00:30:01,265
Exactly.
634
00:30:01,332 --> 00:30:02,333
( crowd murmurs )
635
00:30:02,398 --> 00:30:04,368
Doggone that safety!
636
00:30:04,434 --> 00:30:05,537
Huh!
637
00:30:08,705 --> 00:30:09,673
Yeah?
638
00:30:09,740 --> 00:30:10,974
Dad, um,
639
00:30:11,041 --> 00:30:12,976
I know that you're working, but kenneth and I
640
00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:14,744
Have just had the most marvelous idea.
641
00:30:14,811 --> 00:30:16,646
You'll never guess what it is!
642
00:30:16,713 --> 00:30:17,880
Look!
What's that?
643
00:30:17,948 --> 00:30:19,483
It's ras!
Ras?
644
00:30:19,549 --> 00:30:20,750
Isn't it gorgeous?
645
00:30:20,817 --> 00:30:21,885
George painted it, next door.
646
00:30:21,952 --> 00:30:23,753
Well, has he run out of canvas?
647
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:25,054
This is just a sample!
648
00:30:25,122 --> 00:30:26,824
You know, Kenny works part-time at sears--
649
00:30:26,891 --> 00:30:28,258
Well, we're gonna go into business
650
00:30:28,325 --> 00:30:30,561
And sell them the Erasmus Leaf sweatshirt,
651
00:30:30,627 --> 00:30:31,762
$1 apiece!
652
00:30:31,828 --> 00:30:32,863
Get rid of it.
653
00:30:32,930 --> 00:30:34,865
Rid of it? You can't ignore
654
00:30:34,932 --> 00:30:37,201
An absolutely fantastic idea like this
655
00:30:37,268 --> 00:30:38,568
To make money-- you don't know
656
00:30:38,635 --> 00:30:41,138
How much you can make from a deal like this, dad.
657
00:30:41,204 --> 00:30:43,439
Now, Panny, there is absolutely no deal
658
00:30:43,507 --> 00:30:45,709
In which I would sanction your brother's countenance
659
00:30:45,776 --> 00:30:47,745
To sop up the body fluids
660
00:30:47,810 --> 00:30:49,946
Of countless sweaty little boys!
661
00:30:50,012 --> 00:30:51,481
But, daddy, how can you be like that?
662
00:30:51,548 --> 00:30:52,583
Like what?
663
00:30:52,650 --> 00:30:53,918
What's so special about ras?
664
00:30:53,983 --> 00:30:55,653
I mean, if Beethoven can do it--
665
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:57,121
What's Beethoven got to do with it?
666
00:30:57,188 --> 00:30:58,923
You know, sir, the Beethoven sweatshirts.
667
00:30:58,990 --> 00:31:00,391
Yeah, huh?
668
00:31:00,457 --> 00:31:03,494
Ludwig von Beethoven on a sweatshirt?!
669
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:04,695
Mm-hmm, and Brahms, too.
670
00:31:04,761 --> 00:31:05,996
I don't believe it.
671
00:31:06,063 --> 00:31:07,865
We sell a lot of them at sears,
672
00:31:07,932 --> 00:31:09,400
And Brahms is very big at stanford.
673
00:31:09,467 --> 00:31:11,769
Now, wait a minute-- listen to me, both of you.
674
00:31:11,835 --> 00:31:14,138
Now, I've been sitting here for hours,
675
00:31:14,204 --> 00:31:16,572
Trying to complete one single line of poetry--
676
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,476
One single line of poetry!
677
00:31:18,541 --> 00:31:20,577
And I'm afraid that I just am not gonna
678
00:31:20,644 --> 00:31:22,980
Be able to find the words, because the only word
679
00:31:23,047 --> 00:31:24,981
I can think of right now is "sweatshirt"!
680
00:31:25,048 --> 00:31:27,652
Now, take that thing out and burn it!
681
00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:28,818
Yes, sir.
682
00:31:28,885 --> 00:31:30,187
You're passing up a fortune--
683
00:31:30,253 --> 00:31:31,554
That's what you're doing.
684
00:31:31,622 --> 00:31:34,025
First the TV show, and then life magazine
685
00:31:34,092 --> 00:31:36,160
And look and the world's fair--
686
00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:37,961
No wonder we've never had anything,
687
00:31:38,028 --> 00:31:39,730
And with that attitude, you know,
688
00:31:39,797 --> 00:31:41,265
We'll just never, ever have anything!
689
00:31:41,332 --> 00:31:42,834
Now, Panny...
Like a new car
690
00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:45,369
And a real house with a garage to put it in,
691
00:31:45,435 --> 00:31:47,336
And a new dress for the prom!
692
00:31:47,403 --> 00:31:48,605
Pandora!
693
00:31:53,477 --> 00:31:55,879
I'm sorry, Panny.
694
00:31:55,945 --> 00:31:58,448
I'm really, keenly sorry if you feel
695
00:31:58,516 --> 00:32:00,384
I've failed to provide for my family.
696
00:32:00,451 --> 00:32:01,853
Daddy...
697
00:32:01,919 --> 00:32:03,287
I do love you,
698
00:32:03,353 --> 00:32:06,157
But you're just so darn square!
699
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,128
Is the whole world going mad?
700
00:32:12,195 --> 00:32:15,031
It always has been, darling.
701
00:32:15,098 --> 00:32:17,668
It's just that you've never noticed it.
702
00:32:20,104 --> 00:32:22,740
Raising kids is such a darn hard business--
703
00:32:22,807 --> 00:32:27,010
It's a shame that just anybody is allowed to do it.
704
00:32:27,076 --> 00:32:29,779
They oughta have a license for the job,
705
00:32:29,846 --> 00:32:32,048
Like plumbers and teachers.
706
00:32:32,115 --> 00:32:39,423
I...was...thinking...
707
00:32:39,490 --> 00:32:42,425
All...day--
708
00:32:42,492 --> 00:32:44,227
( door closes )
709
00:32:44,294 --> 00:32:45,329
Shh.
710
00:32:45,394 --> 00:32:47,196
( whispering ) what do you want?
711
00:32:47,263 --> 00:32:50,200
I, um, I need some help with my math.
712
00:32:50,268 --> 00:32:52,068
Dad doesn't want me to, ever.
713
00:32:52,135 --> 00:32:54,404
It's in the family, ras.
714
00:32:54,471 --> 00:32:56,307
I'll give you a chocolate bar.
715
00:32:56,374 --> 00:32:57,807
Do you have any stamps?
716
00:32:57,875 --> 00:33:00,510
Stamps? You don't collect stamps.
717
00:33:00,577 --> 00:33:01,444
New ones. Airmail.
718
00:33:01,511 --> 00:33:03,413
Oh, okay. I'll give you two--
719
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:04,448
Six.
720
00:33:04,515 --> 00:33:05,750
Six? Three.
721
00:33:05,816 --> 00:33:06,884
I'll give you three
722
00:33:06,951 --> 00:33:08,818
If you can tell me the square root--
723
00:33:08,885 --> 00:33:09,953
What's a square root?
724
00:33:10,020 --> 00:33:11,221
That's a number that you multiply
725
00:33:11,288 --> 00:33:12,855
By itself to get another number.
726
00:33:12,923 --> 00:33:14,392
Like two times two is four.
727
00:33:14,459 --> 00:33:16,994
Two is the square root of four--d'you get it?
728
00:33:17,059 --> 00:33:18,127
Oh.
Great.
729
00:33:18,194 --> 00:33:19,663
But these have to be done
730
00:33:19,730 --> 00:33:21,332
To the nearest thousandth.
731
00:33:21,398 --> 00:33:25,235
The square root of 221.
732
00:33:27,337 --> 00:33:29,773
14.866.
733
00:33:29,839 --> 00:33:31,641
Oh, you beautiful--
734
00:33:31,708 --> 00:33:33,377
Don't do that to me!
735
00:33:33,442 --> 00:33:34,378
Shh!
736
00:33:38,582 --> 00:33:40,451
Sweetie?
737
00:33:40,517 --> 00:33:41,919
Mm?
738
00:33:41,986 --> 00:33:46,857
D-do you...
739
00:33:46,923 --> 00:33:49,259
Do you--do you think a psychiatrist
740
00:33:49,326 --> 00:33:52,596
Could do anything for ras?
741
00:33:52,663 --> 00:33:54,964
A psychiatrist?
742
00:33:55,031 --> 00:33:56,399
Yeah, you know, those fellas
743
00:33:56,467 --> 00:33:57,868
That understand everything you're saying
744
00:33:57,934 --> 00:34:00,370
Even though you don't know what you're talking about?
745
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:07,144
Robert... Don't you think
746
00:34:07,211 --> 00:34:11,115
You're overdoing the situation a bit?
747
00:34:11,181 --> 00:34:15,117
I mean, I know how unhappy you must be--
748
00:34:15,184 --> 00:34:16,987
Your son, a mathematician!
749
00:34:17,054 --> 00:34:18,021
Our son.
750
00:34:18,088 --> 00:34:20,290
Mm-hmm, and I can imagine
751
00:34:20,356 --> 00:34:22,192
The kidding you're getting at school.
752
00:34:22,260 --> 00:34:24,262
No, it doesn't have anything to do with it.
753
00:34:24,327 --> 00:34:26,896
Doesn't have anything to do with it, believe me.
754
00:34:26,963 --> 00:34:28,898
Honey, in this world today
755
00:34:28,965 --> 00:34:30,299
There are two cultures--
756
00:34:30,367 --> 00:34:33,037
The humanities and science.
757
00:34:33,103 --> 00:34:34,504
Now, this happens to be
758
00:34:34,570 --> 00:34:36,206
Where the road forks for our son.
759
00:34:36,273 --> 00:34:37,507
Now, what are we gonna do--
760
00:34:37,574 --> 00:34:39,443
Are we gonna help him choose a way,
761
00:34:39,510 --> 00:34:41,979
Or aren't we gonna help him choose a way?
762
00:34:42,045 --> 00:34:43,815
It's as simple as that.
763
00:34:47,150 --> 00:34:49,753
There's-- there's Dr. Volker.
764
00:34:49,820 --> 00:34:51,756
Oh, well, he's a nut.
765
00:34:51,822 --> 00:34:53,056
Why?
766
00:34:53,123 --> 00:34:55,159
Well, he just looks like one.
767
00:34:55,226 --> 00:35:00,063
All the really good ones do.
768
00:35:00,130 --> 00:35:02,767
You want me to call him?
769
00:35:02,833 --> 00:35:05,368
I think maybe you'd better.
770
00:35:05,436 --> 00:35:08,573
I think maybe you'd better call him.
771
00:35:12,876 --> 00:35:14,612
Ah, good morning, Mrs. Leaf.
772
00:35:14,679 --> 00:35:15,780
Good morning, doctor.
773
00:35:15,847 --> 00:35:17,748
Erasmus, this is Dr. Volker.
774
00:35:17,815 --> 00:35:18,749
Good morning, Erasmus.
775
00:35:18,815 --> 00:35:19,616
Good morning, sir.
776
00:35:19,682 --> 00:35:21,351
I'm going to leave you both alone
777
00:35:21,418 --> 00:35:23,620
So that you can talk about things together.
778
00:35:23,686 --> 00:35:24,987
What things?
779
00:35:25,054 --> 00:35:26,823
You just leave that up to the doctor,
780
00:35:26,891 --> 00:35:28,258
And lie on the couch.
781
00:35:28,324 --> 00:35:29,826
Oh, no, no, not with children,
782
00:35:29,893 --> 00:35:32,061
Never on the couch, never.
783
00:35:32,128 --> 00:35:33,996
Well, you just tell the doctor
784
00:35:34,063 --> 00:35:35,398
Whatever he wants to know,
785
00:35:35,465 --> 00:35:37,800
And I'll be right outside waiting for you.
786
00:35:37,867 --> 00:35:39,402
Thank you, Mrs. Leaf.
787
00:35:42,172 --> 00:35:44,474
Please sit down, young man.
788
00:35:46,577 --> 00:35:49,646
So. You are interested in numbers?
789
00:35:49,713 --> 00:35:51,081
No, sir.
790
00:35:51,148 --> 00:35:54,451
But your mother said so on the telephone.
791
00:35:54,518 --> 00:35:58,054
Mathematics? Calculations?
792
00:35:58,121 --> 00:36:00,156
What are you interested in, then?
793
00:36:00,224 --> 00:36:02,527
Brigitte Bardot.
794
00:36:05,329 --> 00:36:06,697
What did you say?
795
00:36:06,764 --> 00:36:09,233
Brigitte Bardot.
796
00:36:11,402 --> 00:36:12,436
( slaps hands )
797
00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:14,505
You'd better lie on the couch.
798
00:36:19,041 --> 00:36:20,344
One more, now, ras.
799
00:36:20,411 --> 00:36:23,547
No, no more malteds. I want 50 cents.
800
00:36:23,614 --> 00:36:24,715
Half a buck!
801
00:36:24,782 --> 00:36:28,018
Don't be greedy. Give him a quarter.
802
00:36:28,085 --> 00:36:30,086
Here, five for a buck, deal?
803
00:36:30,153 --> 00:36:31,188
Deal.
804
00:36:31,255 --> 00:36:32,423
Okay, now pay close attention.
805
00:36:32,489 --> 00:36:34,958
An elevator in a 60-story building
806
00:36:35,025 --> 00:36:36,126
Makes the following trips,
807
00:36:36,193 --> 00:36:37,795
Starting from the first floor:
808
00:36:37,860 --> 00:36:39,797
Up 20 floors, down 4.
809
00:36:39,862 --> 00:36:41,798
Up 8, down 3.
810
00:36:41,865 --> 00:36:43,967
Down 17, up 10.
811
00:36:44,034 --> 00:36:45,802
Down 1, up 5.
812
00:36:45,869 --> 00:36:47,403
Up 11, down 22.
813
00:36:47,471 --> 00:36:48,940
Where is the elevator now?
814
00:36:49,005 --> 00:36:50,106
Seventh floor.
815
00:36:50,172 --> 00:36:51,541
Good, okay. Next one.
816
00:36:51,608 --> 00:36:53,309
What kind of a kid is that?
817
00:36:53,376 --> 00:36:55,045
Haven't you heard about my brother?
818
00:36:55,112 --> 00:36:57,481
Ole ras here's our answer to IBM-- a human computer.
819
00:36:57,547 --> 00:37:00,284
All you have to do is drop the jazz in the slot,
820
00:37:00,349 --> 00:37:01,918
And bingo! Listen, ready?
821
00:37:01,985 --> 00:37:04,054
Okay, if a pilgrim father
822
00:37:04,121 --> 00:37:05,756
Had bought a bond worth $1
823
00:37:05,822 --> 00:37:08,192
The day he landed at plymouth rock,
824
00:37:08,259 --> 00:37:10,260
And if that bond bore compound interest
825
00:37:10,327 --> 00:37:12,363
At five percent per year,
826
00:37:12,429 --> 00:37:15,198
How much would that $1 bond be worth today?
827
00:37:15,264 --> 00:37:16,366
Huh?
828
00:37:16,434 --> 00:37:18,034
He has to know when that was.
829
00:37:18,101 --> 00:37:20,871
Oh. December 16th, 1620.
830
00:37:20,936 --> 00:37:28,077
$18,532,311...
831
00:37:28,143 --> 00:37:29,112
See?
832
00:37:29,179 --> 00:37:30,313
...and 42 cents.
833
00:37:30,380 --> 00:37:32,215
Say, that's a very useful kid.
834
00:37:32,282 --> 00:37:34,718
You ever try him on anything practical?
835
00:37:34,784 --> 00:37:36,252
Like what?
836
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,389
Well, if you have nothing better to do later,
837
00:37:38,454 --> 00:37:40,123
I have an idea that might present
838
00:37:40,190 --> 00:37:42,459
A point or two of interest to both of us.
839
00:37:44,128 --> 00:37:46,430
Next. A gallon of certain coins
840
00:37:46,496 --> 00:37:49,266
Is filled, with 225 square foot surface...
841
00:37:55,773 --> 00:37:58,307
Did you finish the dishes already, young man?
842
00:37:58,375 --> 00:37:59,876
Panny's taking my turn.
843
00:37:59,943 --> 00:38:01,679
Oh, you switch weeks, huh?
844
00:38:01,744 --> 00:38:04,714
No, but she'll do anything for money.
845
00:38:09,152 --> 00:38:11,021
Excuse me, captain.
846
00:38:20,697 --> 00:38:22,298
( growling )
847
00:38:22,365 --> 00:38:23,300
You ready?
848
00:38:23,367 --> 00:38:24,335
Yeah, ready.
849
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,368
How you doing, ras?
850
00:38:25,434 --> 00:38:26,737
This is orville-- remember him?
851
00:38:26,802 --> 00:38:27,804
Hi.
852
00:38:27,871 --> 00:38:30,373
Hiya, kid, how are ya?
853
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,175
Here you go.
Okay, shoot.
854
00:38:32,242 --> 00:38:33,409
Go ahead.
855
00:38:33,476 --> 00:38:35,444
Well, in the first race of six furlongs,
856
00:38:35,512 --> 00:38:37,748
The purse is $2,000 for 3-year-olds.
857
00:38:37,815 --> 00:38:38,782
( humming )
858
00:38:45,422 --> 00:38:47,791
Mom, dad, Kenny's here.
859
00:38:47,858 --> 00:38:49,192
Uh, do you mind?
860
00:38:49,259 --> 00:38:51,027
All right, Panny, but not for long.
861
00:38:51,094 --> 00:38:53,562
Okay, my homework is all done.
862
00:38:53,630 --> 00:38:55,766
Honey, that boyfriend of Panny's...
863
00:38:55,831 --> 00:38:57,233
Is it conrad?
864
00:38:57,300 --> 00:38:58,201
Kenneth, darling.
865
00:38:58,268 --> 00:38:59,235
Kenneth darling.
866
00:38:59,302 --> 00:39:00,671
Does he have any dough?
867
00:39:00,737 --> 00:39:02,338
No. That's really rather tragic.
868
00:39:02,405 --> 00:39:04,673
She'd set her heart on marrying a zillionaire,
869
00:39:04,740 --> 00:39:06,409
And now she's falling for a pauper.
870
00:39:06,476 --> 00:39:07,577
The reason I asked,
871
00:39:07,643 --> 00:39:09,445
I saw him in a new car this afternoon.
872
00:39:09,512 --> 00:39:10,746
But I suppose that's the way
873
00:39:10,813 --> 00:39:12,181
It is with paupers these days.
874
00:39:12,248 --> 00:39:13,515
No, it couldn't have been his,
875
00:39:13,583 --> 00:39:15,719
Because he's working his way through school
876
00:39:15,786 --> 00:39:17,488
Clerking at sears roebuck.
877
00:39:17,554 --> 00:39:18,722
Sure pay well.
878
00:39:18,789 --> 00:39:21,557
Do you think we could drop romance for a bit?
879
00:39:21,625 --> 00:39:23,793
That's no way to drop romance for a bit.
880
00:39:23,860 --> 00:39:24,795
Come here.
881
00:39:26,664 --> 00:39:29,699
Dean Sawyer called this afternoon.
882
00:39:29,766 --> 00:39:30,567
Uh-huh?
883
00:39:30,634 --> 00:39:32,168
He just wondered whether a few
884
00:39:32,235 --> 00:39:34,038
Of the math professors could have
885
00:39:34,105 --> 00:39:35,438
A little chat with Erasmus.
886
00:39:35,505 --> 00:39:36,572
No, no. No, no.
887
00:39:36,639 --> 00:39:37,842
Well, I said yes.
888
00:39:37,907 --> 00:39:38,775
Not a chance.
889
00:39:38,842 --> 00:39:40,177
Don't you realize what this means?
890
00:39:40,244 --> 00:39:41,244
I do.
891
00:39:41,311 --> 00:39:42,479
They're gonna stick him
892
00:39:42,545 --> 00:39:43,813
Into that experimental school of theirs,
893
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,315
The one where they train the little junior exploders
894
00:39:46,382 --> 00:39:47,850
To be tomorrow's big exploders.
895
00:39:47,918 --> 00:39:49,385
Now, just get on the telephone
896
00:39:49,452 --> 00:39:50,954
And tell them you've made a mistake.
897
00:39:51,021 --> 00:39:53,590
Does it ever occur to you that Erasmus is half mine?
898
00:39:53,657 --> 00:39:55,225
But that's the wrong attitude.
899
00:39:55,291 --> 00:39:56,527
I don't mind telling you that
900
00:39:56,592 --> 00:39:58,228
I'm gonna let them test my half.
901
00:39:58,295 --> 00:39:59,729
Well, they're not gonna touch my half.
902
00:39:59,795 --> 00:40:01,564
If my son is exceptional in some way,
903
00:40:01,632 --> 00:40:03,465
I want to find out all I can--
904
00:40:03,532 --> 00:40:04,934
It's the wrong way to be exceptional.
905
00:40:05,001 --> 00:40:07,204
For you, maybe, but speaking for myself,
906
00:40:07,271 --> 00:40:08,505
I'd rather be the mother
907
00:40:08,572 --> 00:40:10,440
Of a good mathematician than a lousy artist.
908
00:40:10,507 --> 00:40:12,675
That's just not fair.
909
00:40:12,742 --> 00:40:14,710
Now, he's just starting out in his artwork.
910
00:40:14,777 --> 00:40:16,045
How can you possibly tell--
911
00:40:16,112 --> 00:40:17,547
Well, I can.
912
00:40:17,614 --> 00:40:19,449
The first thing he painted was the American flag.
913
00:40:19,516 --> 00:40:22,619
I'd like you to see it.
914
00:40:24,521 --> 00:40:26,923
He's color blind.
915
00:40:26,990 --> 00:40:28,791
He's colorblind.
916
00:40:28,858 --> 00:40:31,494
First he's tone-deaf, now he's colorblind.
917
00:40:34,297 --> 00:40:35,564
What next?
918
00:40:35,632 --> 00:40:38,168
So, now you want to marry Miss Bardot, hmm?
919
00:40:38,235 --> 00:40:39,135
Yes, sir.
920
00:40:39,202 --> 00:40:40,170
Why?
921
00:40:40,237 --> 00:40:41,704
I love her.
922
00:40:41,771 --> 00:40:42,739
I see.
923
00:40:42,806 --> 00:40:45,541
More than anybody else in the whole world.
924
00:40:45,608 --> 00:40:47,911
Tell me, my boy, you hate your mother?
925
00:40:47,978 --> 00:40:48,913
Oh, no, sir.
926
00:40:48,978 --> 00:40:49,913
You love her.
927
00:40:49,980 --> 00:40:50,947
Yes, sir.
928
00:40:51,014 --> 00:40:52,348
You want to marry her?
929
00:40:52,414 --> 00:40:53,516
No, sir.
Why not?
930
00:40:53,583 --> 00:40:54,817
She's pretty, too, isn't she?
931
00:40:54,885 --> 00:40:57,253
Yes, sir, but she's already married.
932
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:58,889
Aha! You hate your father!
933
00:40:58,956 --> 00:41:01,625
No, sir, but I don't wanna marry him, either.
934
00:41:02,693 --> 00:41:04,728
That's sensible.
935
00:41:04,795 --> 00:41:07,297
I just want it clearly understood, Dean Sawyer,
936
00:41:07,364 --> 00:41:08,331
That I'm allowing
937
00:41:08,398 --> 00:41:09,632
This exploitation of my son
938
00:41:09,699 --> 00:41:10,834
Under strong protest.
939
00:41:10,900 --> 00:41:12,201
Again, Robert, this is not
940
00:41:12,268 --> 00:41:13,435
An exploitation of the lad,
941
00:41:13,503 --> 00:41:14,939
This is merely a comparative study--
942
00:41:15,005 --> 00:41:16,941
I know, but I just want it clearly understood
943
00:41:17,007 --> 00:41:18,708
That no matter what the outcome,
944
00:41:18,775 --> 00:41:20,210
You're not going to transfer this boy
945
00:41:20,277 --> 00:41:22,346
Into that little experimental school of yours.
946
00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:24,014
Now...
The junior exploders!
947
00:41:24,079 --> 00:41:24,914
Now, Robert...
948
00:41:24,981 --> 00:41:26,849
I just want it clearly understood!
949
00:41:26,916 --> 00:41:28,751
All right, let's get this over with.
950
00:41:31,255 --> 00:41:33,057
Well, here's our little genius.
951
00:41:33,123 --> 00:41:35,291
You know professor and Mrs. Leaf, of course, doctor,
952
00:41:35,358 --> 00:41:36,726
Of course.
953
00:41:36,793 --> 00:41:39,262
Now, if you're ready, I'm sure Erasmus is,
954
00:41:39,329 --> 00:41:40,297
Aren't you, my boy?
955
00:41:40,364 --> 00:41:41,565
Ready for what?
956
00:41:41,630 --> 00:41:43,299
The doctor just wants to ask you
957
00:41:43,367 --> 00:41:44,568
Some questions, darling.
958
00:41:44,635 --> 00:41:46,002
And if you can't answer them,
959
00:41:46,068 --> 00:41:46,836
Just say so, son,
960
00:41:46,903 --> 00:41:48,038
It's perfectly all right.
961
00:41:48,105 --> 00:41:49,106
Do the best you can.
962
00:41:49,172 --> 00:41:50,339
I want a dollar.
963
00:41:50,407 --> 00:41:52,275
Oh, no dollar, son, now, come on.
964
00:41:52,342 --> 00:41:53,943
Then I won't let my head work.
965
00:41:54,010 --> 00:41:55,545
Here you are.
966
00:41:55,612 --> 00:41:56,512
Wait a minute, Dean.
967
00:41:56,579 --> 00:41:58,048
Here you are.
968
00:41:58,114 --> 00:41:59,549
There's a dollar.
969
00:41:59,615 --> 00:42:00,983
Acts like his sister.
970
00:42:01,050 --> 00:42:03,119
All right, then, schlogg, let's have the first one.
971
00:42:03,186 --> 00:42:04,920
Yes. Young man,
972
00:42:04,987 --> 00:42:06,623
Into this electronic computer,
973
00:42:06,690 --> 00:42:08,825
We have fed the following data--
974
00:42:08,891 --> 00:42:10,626
The nearest star to our earth
975
00:42:10,693 --> 00:42:12,528
Is proxima centauri.
976
00:42:12,596 --> 00:42:14,731
It takes four years and three months
977
00:42:14,797 --> 00:42:16,865
For light from this star to reach us here,
978
00:42:16,932 --> 00:42:18,668
And light travels at the speed
979
00:42:18,735 --> 00:42:22,005
Of 186,000 miles a second.
980
00:42:22,072 --> 00:42:23,039
Now, then.
981
00:42:23,106 --> 00:42:25,208
When Dr. Gold activates the machine,
982
00:42:25,275 --> 00:42:28,077
It will tell us how long it will take a space rocket,
983
00:42:28,144 --> 00:42:32,081
Traveling at the speed of 22,000 miles an hour,
984
00:42:32,148 --> 00:42:34,517
To reach that star.
985
00:42:34,583 --> 00:42:37,153
Can you give us the answer, Erasmus?
986
00:42:43,293 --> 00:42:48,731
129,354 years,
987
00:42:48,798 --> 00:42:53,237
199 days, 2 hours,
988
00:42:53,304 --> 00:42:55,306
10 minutes, and 54 seconds.
989
00:43:09,853 --> 00:43:11,322
( processing slows, bell dings )
990
00:43:24,666 --> 00:43:27,269
Why, the boy is absolutely right, sir.
991
00:43:27,336 --> 00:43:29,139
And twice as fast.
992
00:43:29,206 --> 00:43:31,075
I've never seen anything like this in my life!
993
00:43:31,141 --> 00:43:32,474
Incredible! The boy's a genius.
994
00:43:32,541 --> 00:43:34,476
That's all. Come on, son.
995
00:43:34,543 --> 00:43:35,679
Oh, no, not yet, please.
996
00:43:35,746 --> 00:43:37,079
This could have been an accident.
997
00:43:37,146 --> 00:43:37,947
Accident?
998
00:43:38,014 --> 00:43:39,415
One more, if you don't mind.
999
00:43:39,481 --> 00:43:40,717
Will you excuse us?
1000
00:43:40,784 --> 00:43:43,452
I would like to have Erasmus and the machine
1001
00:43:43,519 --> 00:43:56,532
Divide 17,590,038,552,578 by 680.
1002
00:43:56,599 --> 00:43:57,567
It can't.
1003
00:43:57,634 --> 00:43:59,068
The computer?
1004
00:43:59,135 --> 00:44:00,103
No, sir.
1005
00:44:00,170 --> 00:44:02,505
But 680 won't go into it even.
1006
00:44:02,572 --> 00:44:05,141
Well, we'll see.
1007
00:44:13,617 --> 00:44:15,152
( buzzer )
1008
00:44:15,219 --> 00:44:16,253
( whirring, popping )
1009
00:44:23,326 --> 00:44:25,561
How in the world did you--
1010
00:44:25,628 --> 00:44:27,331
The only numbers that'll go into it
1011
00:44:27,398 --> 00:44:37,340
Are 8,191, and 2,147,483,647.
1012
00:44:37,407 --> 00:44:38,709
Those are the only ones.
1013
00:44:38,775 --> 00:44:39,976
Can we go now?
1014
00:44:40,043 --> 00:44:42,010
That's all. That's all.
1015
00:44:42,077 --> 00:44:44,413
Dr. Leaf, may I impose for a moment?
1016
00:44:44,481 --> 00:44:45,616
The state highway department--
1017
00:44:45,681 --> 00:44:47,083
No, no, no, no, no.
1018
00:44:47,150 --> 00:44:49,719
Now, if you'll please leave, all of you.
1019
00:44:49,786 --> 00:44:51,954
Darling, it's their office.
1020
00:44:52,021 --> 00:44:52,956
Oh.
1021
00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,628
I got your summons, Dean Sawyer.
1022
00:44:59,695 --> 00:45:01,396
Obviously. Professor Leaf,
1023
00:45:01,463 --> 00:45:02,831
This is lt. Rink, of the--
1024
00:45:02,898 --> 00:45:04,367
Oh, no you don't. Oh, no.
1025
00:45:04,434 --> 00:45:05,367
Now, no offense, lieutenant,
1026
00:45:05,434 --> 00:45:06,503
But I've taken this stand
1027
00:45:06,570 --> 00:45:08,171
For the protection of my son,
1028
00:45:08,237 --> 00:45:10,072
And defense department or no--
1029
00:45:10,139 --> 00:45:12,074
Lt. Rink is not with the department of defense.
1030
00:45:12,141 --> 00:45:13,842
You can call me irresponsible,
1031
00:45:13,909 --> 00:45:16,413
Call me an old fossil, downright un-American--
1032
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:17,914
Will you please be seated
1033
00:45:17,981 --> 00:45:19,583
And allow us to say something?
1034
00:45:19,650 --> 00:45:21,017
Sit down, here, all of you.
1035
00:45:21,083 --> 00:45:22,585
The whole crowd of you.
1036
00:45:22,652 --> 00:45:25,021
Now, what you want me to do
1037
00:45:25,088 --> 00:45:27,124
Is to exploit my boy.
1038
00:45:27,190 --> 00:45:29,193
Now, what none of you seem to realize
1039
00:45:29,259 --> 00:45:31,762
Is what's happening to Erasmus.
1040
00:45:31,827 --> 00:45:34,496
Ever since this whole weird phenomena
1041
00:45:34,563 --> 00:45:35,998
Started revealing itself,
1042
00:45:36,065 --> 00:45:38,968
This poor kid has been withdrawing into himself,
1043
00:45:39,036 --> 00:45:40,836
And something's happening to him,
1044
00:45:40,902 --> 00:45:42,271
Which, very frankly,
1045
00:45:42,338 --> 00:45:44,074
Is starting to trouble me deeply!
1046
00:45:44,141 --> 00:45:45,742
It's causing us trouble, too, professor.
1047
00:45:45,809 --> 00:45:48,077
Let's all just forget about the whole thing,
1048
00:45:48,144 --> 00:45:49,913
Let the storm die down,
1049
00:45:49,978 --> 00:45:51,647
And permit this kid
1050
00:45:51,715 --> 00:45:53,884
To lead a normal little boy's life!
1051
00:45:53,951 --> 00:45:55,050
Such as devoting his talents
1052
00:45:55,117 --> 00:45:56,485
To the handicapping of horses?
1053
00:45:56,552 --> 00:45:57,587
To what?
1054
00:45:57,653 --> 00:45:59,789
Lt. Rink is from the sheriff's office.
1055
00:45:59,856 --> 00:46:01,925
Professor, your son has been supplying information
1056
00:46:01,990 --> 00:46:03,826
To one of the most active betting rings
1057
00:46:03,893 --> 00:46:05,460
We've uncovered in some time.
1058
00:46:05,527 --> 00:46:07,663
Right here on this campus!
1059
00:46:07,730 --> 00:46:09,065
Erasmus?
1060
00:46:09,132 --> 00:46:10,500
What kind of information?
1061
00:46:10,567 --> 00:46:11,601
He wouldn't know
1062
00:46:11,668 --> 00:46:12,936
A racehorse from a jackass.
1063
00:46:13,001 --> 00:46:15,505
His information is computed from published data,
1064
00:46:15,572 --> 00:46:17,007
And he is far and away
1065
00:46:17,072 --> 00:46:19,007
The most successful handicapper
1066
00:46:19,074 --> 00:46:21,277
Our department has ever encountered.
1067
00:46:21,344 --> 00:46:22,878
Well, you must be joking about this.
1068
00:46:22,945 --> 00:46:24,114
The kid's eight years old!
1069
00:46:24,181 --> 00:46:26,115
You know kenneth taylor, don't you?
1070
00:46:26,182 --> 00:46:27,617
A friend of your daughter's?
1071
00:46:27,684 --> 00:46:29,552
I thought his name was kenneth darling.
1072
00:46:29,619 --> 00:46:32,422
Taylor.
1073
00:46:32,489 --> 00:46:33,490
And orville snod?
1074
00:46:33,556 --> 00:46:34,925
No, I don't know him.
1075
00:46:34,990 --> 00:46:36,326
They were suspended this morning
1076
00:46:36,393 --> 00:46:38,260
After a confession in which they said
1077
00:46:38,327 --> 00:46:43,333
Your son had picked 17 straight winners for them.
1078
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,434
Little ras?
1079
00:46:45,501 --> 00:46:49,239
Did you or did you not know about this, professor?
1080
00:46:49,304 --> 00:46:52,341
Are you accusing me of using my own son as a toot?
1081
00:46:52,409 --> 00:46:54,277
Toot?
Well, isn't that what you call it?
1082
00:46:54,344 --> 00:46:55,244
Racetrack toot?
1083
00:46:55,311 --> 00:46:56,313
Tout.
1084
00:46:58,114 --> 00:46:59,849
So after all these years--
1085
00:46:59,916 --> 00:47:01,251
Well, this is the last straw!
1086
00:47:01,317 --> 00:47:02,851
Here, give me a piece of paper.
1087
00:47:02,918 --> 00:47:04,487
Now, look, Robert.
1088
00:47:04,554 --> 00:47:06,088
If this don't show you...
1089
00:47:06,155 --> 00:47:09,125
Robert, you know, one of these days,
1090
00:47:09,192 --> 00:47:11,762
I'm going to accept one of your resignations!
1091
00:47:11,827 --> 00:47:13,096
You're going to accept this one!
1092
00:47:13,163 --> 00:47:15,697
And if I ever set foot on this campus again,
1093
00:47:15,764 --> 00:47:17,467
I hope somebody shoots me!
1094
00:47:17,534 --> 00:47:18,468
That's all!
1095
00:47:18,534 --> 00:47:19,635
Robert, please!
1096
00:47:19,702 --> 00:47:21,438
Excuse me, sir.
1097
00:47:24,273 --> 00:47:26,675
Robert, you don't mean this!
1098
00:47:26,742 --> 00:47:28,445
It's final! This time, it's final!
1099
00:47:39,822 --> 00:47:41,924
( car backfires )
1100
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:45,061
But daddy, please!
1101
00:47:45,128 --> 00:47:46,396
You stay out of this, Panny.
1102
00:47:46,463 --> 00:47:48,198
This is between me and what's-his-name, here.
1103
00:47:48,264 --> 00:47:49,632
Believe me, I was only trying--
1104
00:47:49,699 --> 00:47:50,633
You shut up, too.
1105
00:47:50,699 --> 00:47:51,701
I want an explanation
1106
00:47:51,768 --> 00:47:52,769
For this outrageous behavior.
1107
00:47:52,835 --> 00:47:54,538
But, daddy, Kenny's trying to explain.
1108
00:47:54,605 --> 00:47:55,639
Why doesn't he say something?
1109
00:47:55,704 --> 00:47:56,773
Well, sir, I was only--
1110
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:57,807
You've corrupted an innocent child.
1111
00:47:57,873 --> 00:47:59,208
Now, get out, and I don't want
1112
00:47:59,275 --> 00:48:00,742
To see you lurking around here anymore.
1113
00:48:00,809 --> 00:48:02,010
Yes, sir.
Where are you going?
1114
00:48:02,077 --> 00:48:03,112
You told me to leave!
1115
00:48:03,179 --> 00:48:04,312
Not until you explain!
1116
00:48:04,380 --> 00:48:06,048
Daddy, wait till mom brings ras home,
1117
00:48:06,115 --> 00:48:08,050
And then we'll show you how it works!
1118
00:48:08,952 --> 00:48:10,220
I want $3.
1119
00:48:10,286 --> 00:48:11,721
But ras, you can't charge
1120
00:48:11,788 --> 00:48:13,056
Just to show mom and dad
1121
00:48:13,121 --> 00:48:14,389
How you figure horses!
1122
00:48:14,456 --> 00:48:16,725
Ras, this is just for practice--no bets.
1123
00:48:16,793 --> 00:48:18,094
Well, I don't care. $3.
1124
00:48:18,161 --> 00:48:19,829
You see? The boy's tainted.
1125
00:48:19,896 --> 00:48:21,197
But the only thing he ever
1126
00:48:21,264 --> 00:48:22,699
Spends money for is stamps.
1127
00:48:22,766 --> 00:48:24,367
You collect stamps, ras?
1128
00:48:24,434 --> 00:48:25,769
No, sir.
1129
00:48:25,835 --> 00:48:26,970
Well, come on.
1130
00:48:27,036 --> 00:48:28,403
Let's get on with the exhibition.
1131
00:48:28,471 --> 00:48:29,639
And no money, ras!
1132
00:48:29,706 --> 00:48:31,073
Pick a race.
1133
00:48:31,139 --> 00:48:33,210
They have to feed him so many statistics,
1134
00:48:33,275 --> 00:48:35,778
One race a day is about all he can do.
1135
00:48:35,846 --> 00:48:38,815
But with ras, one's enough!
1136
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,083
Okay, razzle-dazzle, here we go.
1137
00:48:41,150 --> 00:48:43,686
The six at tanforan.
1138
00:48:43,753 --> 00:48:45,621
Seven furlongs for maidens.
1139
00:48:45,688 --> 00:48:47,090
Weather clear, track fast.
1140
00:48:47,155 --> 00:48:49,860
Track record 121.2.
1141
00:48:49,925 --> 00:48:51,994
First, al's rose.
1142
00:48:52,061 --> 00:48:53,896
Last time out at the distance,
1143
00:48:53,963 --> 00:48:57,634
Third by two lengths in a time of 1:28.
1144
00:48:57,701 --> 00:48:59,436
Second, vesuvian.
1145
00:48:59,501 --> 00:49:01,103
Last time out at the distance--
1146
00:49:01,170 --> 00:49:02,805
And at the turn, it's al's rose,
1147
00:49:02,871 --> 00:49:04,206
On the inside between horses
1148
00:49:04,273 --> 00:49:05,974
With vesuvian and abladon.
1149
00:49:06,041 --> 00:49:07,476
Sister melba!
1150
00:49:07,543 --> 00:49:09,144
It's vesuvian and abladon, neck and neck.
1151
00:49:09,210 --> 00:49:10,279
Where is she, ken?
Shh.
1152
00:49:10,346 --> 00:49:11,815
Vesuvian is moving up,
1153
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:13,783
And abladon is pulling away from al's rose.
1154
00:49:13,849 --> 00:49:14,817
Oh, I'll die!
1155
00:49:14,884 --> 00:49:16,418
I'll just simply perish!
1156
00:49:16,485 --> 00:49:18,588
Al's rose drops back as crown me moves in behind--
1157
00:49:18,655 --> 00:49:20,323
Oh, dear.
1158
00:49:20,389 --> 00:49:22,491
Now it's crown me and abladon with vesuvian.
1159
00:49:22,557 --> 00:49:25,695
And now on the outside, the long-shot five horse
1160
00:49:25,762 --> 00:49:28,131
Is making a move into the home stretch. It's...
1161
00:49:28,197 --> 00:49:29,432
Come on, sister melba!
1162
00:49:29,498 --> 00:49:32,501
Sister melba! Passing carry some home.
1163
00:49:32,568 --> 00:49:35,605
Sister melba and al's rose with tip up, the favorite,
1164
00:49:35,670 --> 00:49:36,906
Still trailing.
1165
00:49:36,974 --> 00:49:38,740
Past the grandstand, it's vesuvian
1166
00:49:38,807 --> 00:49:40,041
Fighting off sister melba--
1167
00:49:40,108 --> 00:49:41,744
Come on, sister melba!
1168
00:49:41,811 --> 00:49:42,778
...under the whip.
1169
00:49:42,846 --> 00:49:44,213
There goes sister melba!
1170
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:45,882
And she wins it by a hair.
1171
00:49:45,949 --> 00:49:47,884
What did I tell you? Ras hasn't Missed yet.
1172
00:49:47,951 --> 00:49:49,184
Good ole ras!
Shh.
1173
00:49:49,251 --> 00:49:50,385
Let's hear what she paid.
1174
00:49:50,452 --> 00:49:53,822
Sister melba paid $58.20 to win,
1175
00:49:53,889 --> 00:49:55,690
Yipes!
$24.80 to place,
1176
00:49:55,757 --> 00:49:57,326
And $16.00 to show.
1177
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:00,529
You see, sir, for a modest investment,
1178
00:50:00,597 --> 00:50:02,666
We would now be ahead several hundred dollars.
1179
00:50:02,731 --> 00:50:03,865
Don't you see, dad,
1180
00:50:03,932 --> 00:50:05,701
Ras is like diamonds on the sidewalk.
1181
00:50:05,768 --> 00:50:08,438
All you've gotta do is just bend down and pick 'em up!
1182
00:50:08,505 --> 00:50:10,474
My interest is not for myself, believe me, sir.
1183
00:50:10,539 --> 00:50:12,208
I wish only to make enough money
1184
00:50:12,275 --> 00:50:13,843
So I can marry Panny.
1185
00:50:13,909 --> 00:50:15,110
A million dollars?
1186
00:50:15,177 --> 00:50:17,079
It doesn't have to be a whole million.
1187
00:50:17,146 --> 00:50:19,048
Well, what about your education?
1188
00:50:19,114 --> 00:50:21,083
With money like this,
1189
00:50:21,150 --> 00:50:22,418
Who needs an education?
1190
00:50:22,485 --> 00:50:24,753
And I could get someone in to do the laundry.
1191
00:50:24,820 --> 00:50:26,621
Well, daddy?
1192
00:50:26,688 --> 00:50:27,889
Well, what?
1193
00:50:27,956 --> 00:50:30,626
Well, is it okay, sir, for Erasmus.
1194
00:50:30,693 --> 00:50:32,396
Of course not.
1195
00:50:42,572 --> 00:50:44,039
Robert.
1196
00:50:44,106 --> 00:50:45,375
What's wrong with it?
1197
00:50:45,442 --> 00:50:47,844
We can't use our child like that, honey,
1198
00:50:47,911 --> 00:50:48,945
To gamble with.
1199
00:50:49,012 --> 00:50:50,947
But is it immoral?
1200
00:50:51,012 --> 00:50:53,315
Well, no. I...
1201
00:50:53,382 --> 00:50:55,650
Can't say it's exactly immoral--
1202
00:50:55,717 --> 00:50:56,685
Illegal?
1203
00:50:56,753 --> 00:50:59,256
Illegal is purely a matter of geography.
1204
00:51:00,322 --> 00:51:02,925
Well, then, what is it?
1205
00:51:02,992 --> 00:51:05,460
It just doesn't feel right.
1206
00:51:05,527 --> 00:51:07,163
If you agree
1207
00:51:07,230 --> 00:51:09,331
That it isn't immoral or illegal,
1208
00:51:09,398 --> 00:51:11,300
What's wrong with picking up
1209
00:51:11,367 --> 00:51:14,603
Some of those diamonds off the sidewalk?
1210
00:51:15,737 --> 00:51:20,409
Well, i-it's just the...
1211
00:51:20,476 --> 00:51:24,247
Honey, in there, just a little bit ago,
1212
00:51:24,313 --> 00:51:27,115
You--you said about getting someone in
1213
00:51:27,182 --> 00:51:28,284
To do the washing.
1214
00:51:28,351 --> 00:51:31,753
Oh, darling, I didn't mean it
1215
00:51:31,820 --> 00:51:33,322
To sound like censure,
1216
00:51:33,389 --> 00:51:36,058
It's just that I suddenly realized
1217
00:51:36,125 --> 00:51:38,427
How--how tired I was of housework
1218
00:51:38,494 --> 00:51:42,131
When the horse won and paid $58.
1219
00:51:42,197 --> 00:51:44,532
Now I haven't even got a job.
1220
00:51:44,599 --> 00:51:46,302
Robert.
1221
00:51:46,369 --> 00:51:48,972
Oh, honey, i-i...
1222
00:51:49,039 --> 00:51:51,041
I'm sorry, but job or no job,
1223
00:51:51,106 --> 00:51:53,576
I just cannot in all conscience
1224
00:51:53,643 --> 00:51:56,612
Turn ras into a slot machine.
1225
00:51:56,679 --> 00:52:00,782
I--all I've ever really wanted is a son
1226
00:52:00,849 --> 00:52:03,818
Who likes a least a few of the things I like,
1227
00:52:03,885 --> 00:52:05,188
And to play catch with me
1228
00:52:05,255 --> 00:52:06,689
Every once in a while, that's all.
1229
00:52:06,755 --> 00:52:09,791
And if we can help him over this crisis,
1230
00:52:09,858 --> 00:52:12,661
Maybe he'll turn out to be a son like that.
1231
00:52:21,304 --> 00:52:23,206
I'll go and start the dinner.
1232
00:52:26,208 --> 00:52:27,443
Vina...
1233
00:52:27,510 --> 00:52:28,311
Yes?
1234
00:52:28,378 --> 00:52:30,513
Are you concerned?
1235
00:52:30,579 --> 00:52:33,549
I mean, about my making the resignation final?
1236
00:52:33,615 --> 00:52:37,353
When I married that tall, skinny rhodes scholar,
1237
00:52:37,420 --> 00:52:40,389
I never expected champagne suppers every night.
1238
00:52:40,456 --> 00:52:42,257
I have ways of preparing spaghetti
1239
00:52:42,324 --> 00:52:44,326
That I haven't even tried yet.
1240
00:52:51,467 --> 00:52:53,402
Robert, please explain to your daughter.
1241
00:52:53,469 --> 00:52:55,503
What's the matter?
I can't go to the prom!
1242
00:52:55,570 --> 00:52:56,572
Why not?
1243
00:52:56,639 --> 00:52:59,240
Well, how can I in last year's dress?
1244
00:52:59,307 --> 00:53:01,143
Oh, Panny, I always thought that was
1245
00:53:01,210 --> 00:53:02,444
The prettiest dress you ever had!
1246
00:53:02,512 --> 00:53:05,381
Oh, with every other girl there in a new one?
1247
00:53:05,447 --> 00:53:07,549
Oh, you can't fix this one over or anything?
1248
00:53:07,617 --> 00:53:10,420
Oh, now, daddy, really-- I just couldn't!
1249
00:53:10,487 --> 00:53:12,755
If you want a new dress, we'll get you a new dress,
1250
00:53:12,822 --> 00:53:15,458
And it'll be the prettiest one there, too.
1251
00:53:15,525 --> 00:53:16,626
Daddy?
1252
00:53:16,692 --> 00:53:18,561
Well, we'll get you a new dress.
1253
00:53:18,628 --> 00:53:21,631
Thank you! I just love you to death!
1254
00:53:21,697 --> 00:53:23,398
Thank you!
1255
00:53:23,465 --> 00:53:25,400
Sure.
You know, Robert,
1256
00:53:25,467 --> 00:53:27,670
Sometimes your impracticality
1257
00:53:27,737 --> 00:53:28,738
Goes too far.
1258
00:53:28,804 --> 00:53:31,272
Now, if a dress means so much to her, dear,
1259
00:53:31,340 --> 00:53:33,309
We'll just dip into the old nest egg.
1260
00:53:33,376 --> 00:53:34,644
The old nest egg?
1261
00:53:34,710 --> 00:53:36,645
That's what it's for, isn't it--emergencies?
1262
00:53:36,711 --> 00:53:39,681
Have you any idea how much is left in the old nest egg?
1263
00:53:39,748 --> 00:53:41,616
Exactly $18.35.
1264
00:53:41,684 --> 00:53:43,253
Oh, well, that's not correct.
1265
00:53:43,318 --> 00:53:44,853
You're so wrapped up in the humanities
1266
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:47,389
That sometimes you forget that a teacher's wife
1267
00:53:47,456 --> 00:53:50,792
Has to handle at least 52 emergencies a year.
1268
00:53:50,860 --> 00:53:53,162
Why do you have to make such rash promises
1269
00:53:53,228 --> 00:53:54,797
To Panny without consulting me?
1270
00:53:54,864 --> 00:53:57,099
You must have realized why I brought her up here.
1271
00:53:57,166 --> 00:53:59,336
Yes, yes, i--
1272
00:53:59,402 --> 00:54:02,170
Looking back on it, yes. But I made the promise.
1273
00:54:02,237 --> 00:54:04,339
I'm just gonna have to make good on it.
1274
00:54:04,407 --> 00:54:08,044
Well, how do you intend to do that?
1275
00:54:08,110 --> 00:54:11,313
Well, i...
1276
00:54:11,380 --> 00:54:13,382
It seems to me that years ago,
1277
00:54:13,449 --> 00:54:15,784
During the Roosevelt administration,
1278
00:54:15,851 --> 00:54:18,620
Didn't they have something called social security?
1279
00:54:18,688 --> 00:54:21,224
When you're 65 years old, yes.
1280
00:54:21,289 --> 00:54:22,824
But Panny'll be a grandmother by then.
1281
00:54:22,891 --> 00:54:25,060
Oh, no, no, but this had something to do
1282
00:54:25,128 --> 00:54:28,297
With unemployment insurance, too.
1283
00:54:28,364 --> 00:54:30,400
You know, where you get paid for not working?
1284
00:54:30,467 --> 00:54:31,934
It was sort of like the subsidies
1285
00:54:32,001 --> 00:54:34,336
They give to farmers for not raising any crops.
1286
00:54:34,403 --> 00:54:37,273
I have to check on that tomorrow.
1287
00:54:37,340 --> 00:54:39,476
I'll, uh...
1288
00:54:39,541 --> 00:54:41,510
I'll check on that.
1289
00:54:45,248 --> 00:54:46,650
You're next, sir.
1290
00:54:47,882 --> 00:54:48,884
Me?
1291
00:54:48,951 --> 00:54:50,519
Step up.
Oh, I'm sorry.
1292
00:54:50,585 --> 00:54:52,621
I'll take it in small bills, please.
1293
00:54:52,688 --> 00:54:53,822
That's how you'll get it,
1294
00:54:53,889 --> 00:54:56,125
As soon as you meet the requirements.
1295
00:54:56,192 --> 00:54:58,061
I thought I had met the requirement.
1296
00:54:58,128 --> 00:54:59,195
I'm unemployed.
1297
00:54:59,262 --> 00:55:00,463
Well, first, you go over there
1298
00:55:00,528 --> 00:55:01,764
And fill out the forms,
1299
00:55:01,831 --> 00:55:02,766
Then come back.
1300
00:55:02,831 --> 00:55:03,965
What forms are they?
1301
00:55:04,032 --> 00:55:05,534
Well, this'll explain it.
1302
00:55:05,601 --> 00:55:07,971
We have to try and get you a job.
Why?
1303
00:55:08,038 --> 00:55:09,938
This is the state employment bureau.
1304
00:55:10,005 --> 00:55:12,407
I thought it was the unemployment bureau.
1305
00:55:12,474 --> 00:55:14,576
Oh, no, no, no. It works like this--
1306
00:55:14,643 --> 00:55:17,112
You're unemployed, and we try and get you a job.
1307
00:55:17,179 --> 00:55:18,514
But I've had a job,
1308
00:55:18,581 --> 00:55:20,416
And now I'm here to get my money.
1309
00:55:20,483 --> 00:55:22,184
What kind of work do you do, anyway?
1310
00:55:22,251 --> 00:55:23,185
I'm a poet.
1311
00:55:23,251 --> 00:55:24,420
Oh, boy.
1312
00:55:24,485 --> 00:55:25,653
This morning so far,
1313
00:55:25,721 --> 00:55:27,056
I've had an oyster opener,
1314
00:55:27,123 --> 00:55:28,458
A balloonist, a circus fat lady
1315
00:55:28,523 --> 00:55:30,960
Who claimed she went on a diet and lost her job,
1316
00:55:31,027 --> 00:55:32,528
But now I got me a poet.
1317
00:55:32,594 --> 00:55:35,397
Well, I am a poet. My name's Robert Leaf. Here.
1318
00:55:35,465 --> 00:55:37,399
I'm in this anthology, here.
1319
00:55:37,465 --> 00:55:40,702
My name's in that book.
1320
00:55:40,769 --> 00:55:42,003
See this?
1321
00:55:42,070 --> 00:55:43,338
My name's in this book.
1322
00:55:43,405 --> 00:55:44,740
That don't make me a telephone.
1323
00:55:44,807 --> 00:55:46,842
Now, you go over there and fill out the forms
1324
00:55:46,909 --> 00:55:48,943
And bring 'em back like a good boy, huh?
1325
00:55:49,010 --> 00:55:50,211
When do I get my money?
1326
00:55:50,278 --> 00:55:51,413
Not today-- there'll be
1327
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:52,882
A two-week waiting period.
1328
00:55:52,949 --> 00:55:54,017
Two weeks!
1329
00:55:54,083 --> 00:55:55,451
Well, is the rule inflexible?
1330
00:55:55,518 --> 00:55:57,552
Don't you ever make any exceptions?
1331
00:55:57,619 --> 00:55:59,755
Believe me, if I could make an exception,
1332
00:55:59,822 --> 00:56:02,992
You'd be the first one i'd make it for, cutie.
1333
00:56:03,059 --> 00:56:04,994
( chuckling ) huh?
1334
00:56:05,061 --> 00:56:06,096
Thank you.
1335
00:56:25,246 --> 00:56:27,750
Dad? Hey, dad!
1336
00:56:30,251 --> 00:56:31,387
Oh.
1337
00:56:35,625 --> 00:56:37,860
Did you get it, daddy?
1338
00:56:37,927 --> 00:56:38,728
Uh, no.
1339
00:56:38,795 --> 00:56:40,262
There was a woman back there
1340
00:56:40,329 --> 00:56:42,132
With a funny twitch in her eye.
1341
00:56:42,197 --> 00:56:44,132
She said I had to wait two weeks.
1342
00:56:44,199 --> 00:56:45,268
Oh.
1343
00:56:45,335 --> 00:56:47,302
You see, son, the government
1344
00:56:47,369 --> 00:56:48,771
Never waits to take your money,
1345
00:56:48,838 --> 00:56:50,406
But they sure waltz you around
1346
00:56:50,472 --> 00:56:52,075
Before they give some of it back.
1347
00:56:52,141 --> 00:56:53,175
I've got some money.
1348
00:56:53,242 --> 00:56:54,777
Poor Panny, now,
1349
00:56:54,842 --> 00:56:57,145
She's expecting that dress on friday--
1350
00:56:57,213 --> 00:56:58,781
Could I help you, dad?
1351
00:56:58,847 --> 00:57:00,315
What, you mean, quitting Dr. Volker?
1352
00:57:00,382 --> 00:57:02,217
No, you don't have to worry about that.
1353
00:57:02,284 --> 00:57:03,819
He can wait to be paid.
1354
00:57:03,887 --> 00:57:06,222
I mean, to buy Panny's dress.
1355
00:57:06,288 --> 00:57:08,023
I've got some money.
1356
00:57:09,492 --> 00:57:10,660
Where'd you find that?
1357
00:57:10,726 --> 00:57:13,596
I saved it up from doing problems.
1358
00:57:13,663 --> 00:57:16,699
Here, you can buy Panny's dress with it.
1359
00:57:21,971 --> 00:57:24,474
You know, you're a first-class little fella.
1360
00:57:24,539 --> 00:57:26,474
You know that, ras?
1361
00:57:26,541 --> 00:57:28,076
You are.
1362
00:57:31,547 --> 00:57:33,148
You're first-class.
1363
00:57:33,215 --> 00:57:34,583
I've lost the key to the car.
1364
00:57:34,650 --> 00:57:35,952
It's in there.
1365
00:57:36,018 --> 00:57:37,954
Oh.
1366
00:57:38,021 --> 00:57:39,923
Thank you, son.
1367
00:57:45,628 --> 00:57:47,664
( trolley bell rings )
1368
00:58:03,179 --> 00:58:04,347
Oh, Miss durante,
1369
00:58:04,414 --> 00:58:06,182
This gentleman would like to see a dress.
1370
00:58:06,248 --> 00:58:07,349
Would you help him, please?
1371
00:58:07,416 --> 00:58:08,951
Yes, certainly.
1372
00:58:09,018 --> 00:58:10,485
What would you like?
1373
00:58:10,552 --> 00:58:12,487
Well, we'd like to buy a dress
1374
00:58:12,554 --> 00:58:14,355
For this young man's sister.
1375
00:58:14,422 --> 00:58:16,625
Well, now, how old is the young lady?
1376
00:58:16,692 --> 00:58:18,126
Uh, well, let's see.
1377
00:58:18,193 --> 00:58:19,161
Panny is, uh...
1378
00:58:19,228 --> 00:58:20,195
18.
1379
00:58:20,262 --> 00:58:21,297
She is?
1380
00:58:21,362 --> 00:58:22,731
You're in the right department.
1381
00:58:22,797 --> 00:58:24,632
Did you have anything special in mind?
1382
00:58:24,699 --> 00:58:27,201
Uh, yes. We'd like something pretty.
1383
00:58:27,268 --> 00:58:30,571
Something with-- sort of--
1384
00:58:30,639 --> 00:58:32,041
Something pretty.
1385
00:58:32,108 --> 00:58:34,343
Of course, but what type of dress?
1386
00:58:34,409 --> 00:58:36,045
For school? For a party?
1387
00:58:36,112 --> 00:58:37,680
For a party-- it's the school prom.
1388
00:58:37,746 --> 00:58:39,448
Oh, we have several attractive styles
1389
00:58:39,514 --> 00:58:40,682
In prom dresses.
1390
00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:42,351
What size is she?
1391
00:58:42,418 --> 00:58:44,120
Uh, well, now...
1392
00:58:44,186 --> 00:58:45,855
Pan is... About there,
1393
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:46,989
Wouldn't you say, son?
1394
00:58:47,056 --> 00:58:48,289
About.
1395
00:58:48,356 --> 00:58:50,393
Is she slender or buxom?
1396
00:58:50,460 --> 00:58:52,061
Could you suggest approximately--
1397
00:58:52,126 --> 00:58:53,094
She's skinny.
1398
00:58:53,161 --> 00:58:54,362
No, she's not skinny.
1399
00:58:54,429 --> 00:58:55,630
Well, she's not buxom.
1400
00:58:55,697 --> 00:58:57,232
No, she's not buxom, but Panny is--
1401
00:58:57,300 --> 00:59:00,870
Panny is a--sort of--
1402
00:59:00,936 --> 00:59:03,838
A darn good-looking young lady.
1403
00:59:03,905 --> 00:59:04,873
Panny?
1404
00:59:04,940 --> 00:59:06,675
( chuckling ) why don't I just show you
1405
00:59:06,742 --> 00:59:08,277
Some things for your selection,
1406
00:59:08,344 --> 00:59:09,744
And if we pick the wrong size,
1407
00:59:09,811 --> 00:59:11,045
She can exchange it herself.
1408
00:59:11,112 --> 00:59:13,681
That's be fine. That's a good idea.
1409
00:59:13,748 --> 00:59:16,117
Now, if you'll have a seat, I'll be right with you.
1410
00:59:16,184 --> 00:59:17,619
Fine, thank you.
1411
00:59:23,224 --> 00:59:24,594
Looks very nice on you.
1412
00:59:24,659 --> 00:59:26,362
Excuse me, please. I'll be right back.
1413
00:59:26,427 --> 00:59:27,797
How 'bout this one?
1414
00:59:27,864 --> 00:59:29,697
Oh, you like that one?
1415
00:59:29,764 --> 00:59:33,368
Well...it's too short on you.
1416
00:59:33,434 --> 00:59:35,971
Mm, I don't...
1417
00:59:36,039 --> 00:59:37,206
We're shopping.
1418
00:59:37,273 --> 00:59:38,340
I see.
1419
00:59:38,407 --> 00:59:40,977
I don't know, son.
1420
00:59:41,043 --> 00:59:44,547
Oh, Miss, I beg your pardon,
1421
00:59:44,612 --> 00:59:45,981
But I have a daughter,
1422
00:59:46,047 --> 00:59:48,817
And we're trying to figure out--
1423
00:59:48,885 --> 00:59:51,787
Figure--course, she's not as big--
1424
00:59:51,853 --> 00:59:55,190
Big as you-- what is your size?
1425
00:59:55,257 --> 00:59:58,494
I'm 36-23-35.
1426
00:59:58,561 --> 00:59:59,696
That's 94.
1427
00:59:59,762 --> 01:00:01,364
Is that right?
1428
01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:02,498
I'm a 10.
1429
01:00:02,565 --> 01:00:04,333
Well, she's 18...
1430
01:00:04,398 --> 01:00:06,469
I mean I'm size 10.
1431
01:00:06,536 --> 01:00:08,371
Oh. And...
1432
01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:10,105
That, um,
1433
01:00:10,172 --> 01:00:12,842
Well, I wonder, would I be presumptuous
1434
01:00:12,909 --> 01:00:14,675
If I asked you to-- if you--would you--
1435
01:00:14,742 --> 01:00:15,911
K-k-t-try that on?
1436
01:00:15,978 --> 01:00:17,679
Just what is the meaning of this, sir?
1437
01:00:17,746 --> 01:00:18,748
What do you mean?
1438
01:00:18,815 --> 01:00:20,383
Accosting my niece in this manner!
1439
01:00:20,449 --> 01:00:21,649
I-I'm n--
1440
01:00:21,717 --> 01:00:24,287
He just asked me to try on a dress, sugar.
1441
01:00:24,353 --> 01:00:25,453
I wasn't accosting the lady.
1442
01:00:25,521 --> 01:00:27,490
I distinctly saw you stop my niece--
1443
01:00:27,556 --> 01:00:29,290
All I said to the girl was--
1444
01:00:29,358 --> 01:00:31,126
You--you look familiar.
1445
01:00:31,193 --> 01:00:32,095
I know you, don't i?
1446
01:00:32,161 --> 01:00:33,963
Well, how do I know you know me?
1447
01:00:34,030 --> 01:00:36,699
Leaf! Professor Robert Leaf!
1448
01:00:36,764 --> 01:00:37,766
Well, that's right.
1449
01:00:37,833 --> 01:00:39,034
My dear professor, forgive me--
1450
01:00:39,101 --> 01:00:40,736
Who doesn't know one of the world's
1451
01:00:40,802 --> 01:00:41,938
Great men of letters?
1452
01:00:42,003 --> 01:00:43,471
I'm Dr. Peregrine Upjohn.
1453
01:00:43,539 --> 01:00:44,840
Oh, Dr. Upjohn.
1454
01:00:44,907 --> 01:00:46,042
Perhaps you're familiar
1455
01:00:46,108 --> 01:00:47,776
With my treatise on elizabethans,
1456
01:00:47,842 --> 01:00:49,545
Published when I taught at Pelham u?
1457
01:00:49,610 --> 01:00:50,612
No.
1458
01:00:50,679 --> 01:00:52,782
Mm. Well, no matter, then.
1459
01:00:52,849 --> 01:00:55,050
Let me shake the hand that has written words
1460
01:00:55,117 --> 01:00:56,885
Noble enough to rank with whitman.
1461
01:00:56,952 --> 01:00:58,720
Well, you're too kind, sir.
1462
01:00:58,786 --> 01:01:01,355
This is Miss eugenia clove, my niece.
1463
01:01:01,422 --> 01:01:02,657
How do you do, Miss clove?
1464
01:01:02,724 --> 01:01:03,958
I'm very pleased to meet you.
1465
01:01:04,025 --> 01:01:06,394
My dear, do try on the dress for the professor.
1466
01:01:06,461 --> 01:01:07,630
I'd be happy to.
1467
01:01:07,697 --> 01:01:08,998
Thank you.
1468
01:01:09,065 --> 01:01:11,567
Now, you must be--
Yes, this is my son, Erasmus.
1469
01:01:11,634 --> 01:01:14,603
Yes, we've all read about this young man.
1470
01:01:14,670 --> 01:01:17,039
Dr. Leaf, if you can forgive my outrage,
1471
01:01:17,105 --> 01:01:19,041
Will you do me the honor of taking tea?
1472
01:01:19,108 --> 01:01:21,277
Well, I have to get the boy
1473
01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:22,545
To the doctor at six...
1474
01:01:22,612 --> 01:01:23,646
Uh, perhaps some other time?
1475
01:01:23,713 --> 01:01:25,080
You could come over to the house--
1476
01:01:25,146 --> 01:01:26,815
I'd be honored. Have you got a card?
1477
01:01:26,882 --> 01:01:28,217
I'm afraid I don't have a card,
1478
01:01:28,284 --> 01:01:29,652
But I could write the address down.
1479
01:01:29,719 --> 01:01:30,818
Oh, fine.
1480
01:01:30,885 --> 01:01:32,221
It's, uh, right near here.
1481
01:01:32,288 --> 01:01:33,356
Here we are.
1482
01:01:33,422 --> 01:01:35,425
Several selections.
1483
01:01:37,925 --> 01:01:40,163
I like the red one!
1484
01:01:43,865 --> 01:01:47,269
So, I am the only one in the world who knows
1485
01:01:47,335 --> 01:01:50,738
That Erasmus Leaf is in love with brigitte Bardot, hmm?
1486
01:01:50,806 --> 01:01:52,240
No, sir.
1487
01:01:52,307 --> 01:01:53,208
Well, who else knows?
1488
01:01:53,275 --> 01:01:54,342
Brigitte Bardot.
1489
01:01:54,409 --> 01:01:55,510
How?
1490
01:01:55,577 --> 01:01:57,679
I told her in my letters.
1491
01:01:57,746 --> 01:02:00,681
You write letters to Miss Bardot?
1492
01:02:00,748 --> 01:02:02,784
Every night.
1493
01:02:05,153 --> 01:02:06,155
All right.
1494
01:02:06,222 --> 01:02:08,156
You better forget about her, now.
1495
01:02:08,222 --> 01:02:10,393
I can't.
1496
01:02:10,458 --> 01:02:11,826
Try.
1497
01:02:11,893 --> 01:02:13,895
Now, tell me, what did you do today?
1498
01:02:13,963 --> 01:02:15,164
I went shopping.
1499
01:02:15,230 --> 01:02:16,231
Oh?
1500
01:02:16,298 --> 01:02:17,599
And what did you buy?
1501
01:02:17,666 --> 01:02:19,802
A dress.
1502
01:02:24,505 --> 01:02:26,208
You better wait out here.
1503
01:02:28,177 --> 01:02:29,211
Schnell!
1504
01:02:34,250 --> 01:02:35,284
Yes, doctor?
1505
01:02:35,351 --> 01:02:37,119
Please send me in here the boy's mother.
1506
01:02:37,186 --> 01:02:38,519
She isn't here, today, sir.
1507
01:02:38,586 --> 01:02:39,621
His father's here.
1508
01:02:39,688 --> 01:02:42,125
That's even better. The father.
1509
01:02:46,394 --> 01:02:48,831
Brigitte Bardot.
1510
01:02:52,835 --> 01:02:55,670
Brigitte Bardot.
1511
01:02:55,737 --> 01:02:58,472
Yes, sir, you may be colorblind, son,
1512
01:02:58,539 --> 01:02:59,974
But you're a green-blooded
1513
01:03:00,041 --> 01:03:02,244
All-American boy.
1514
01:03:05,780 --> 01:03:07,181
The professor and ras
1515
01:03:07,248 --> 01:03:10,318
Should have been home an hour ago.
1516
01:03:10,385 --> 01:03:12,754
I don't know, you--
1517
01:03:12,820 --> 01:03:15,123
You put a father and son together...
1518
01:03:15,190 --> 01:03:17,492
They're liable to go out and celebrate
1519
01:03:17,559 --> 01:03:21,197
The fact that they're men.
1520
01:03:21,264 --> 01:03:23,365
And that's worth celebrating,
1521
01:03:23,431 --> 01:03:24,665
Especially these days,
1522
01:03:24,733 --> 01:03:26,869
When so many women wear pants.
1523
01:03:34,677 --> 01:03:36,077
( barking )
1524
01:03:44,052 --> 01:03:47,054
Daddy, oh, you marvelous, precious man!
1525
01:03:47,121 --> 01:03:49,157
I just adore you, daddy.
1526
01:03:49,224 --> 01:03:50,559
Is this it? My dress?
1527
01:03:50,626 --> 01:03:52,894
Yeah, and you can thank your brother for it, pan.
1528
01:03:52,960 --> 01:03:54,496
Thank you, ras! Thank you!
1529
01:03:54,563 --> 01:03:55,998
Say, how'd you know?
1530
01:03:56,063 --> 01:03:57,865
Well, Dr. Upjohn told me.
1531
01:03:57,932 --> 01:04:00,068
"a slender birch in which the linnet nests
1532
01:04:00,135 --> 01:04:02,838
"is a promise made in quiet splendor.
1533
01:04:02,905 --> 01:04:04,940
"heard above the drums of thunder,
1534
01:04:05,007 --> 01:04:07,242
For silence is the shriek of life."
1535
01:04:07,309 --> 01:04:08,911
Well, well, thank you, sir.
1536
01:04:08,976 --> 01:04:10,812
Oh, my dear Leaf, much must be granted
1537
01:04:10,878 --> 01:04:12,780
To the man whose soul and spirit united
1538
01:04:12,847 --> 01:04:14,815
To give birth to those lines.
1539
01:04:14,882 --> 01:04:16,585
You know, there's-- there's a music
1540
01:04:16,652 --> 01:04:18,019
In your gentle husband's work
1541
01:04:18,086 --> 01:04:20,188
That's to be found nowhere else in American poetry.
1542
01:04:20,255 --> 01:04:21,656
I'm--you're very kind, sir,
1543
01:04:21,724 --> 01:04:22,658
You're very kind.
1544
01:04:22,724 --> 01:04:23,726
He's simply been
1545
01:04:23,793 --> 01:04:26,128
Showering you with praise, Robert.
1546
01:04:26,195 --> 01:04:28,898
The moment we parted company, professor,
1547
01:04:28,965 --> 01:04:31,233
I realized that fate had destined us to meet.
1548
01:04:31,300 --> 01:04:32,935
Oh?
Would you like some tea?
1549
01:04:33,001 --> 01:04:35,070
And then Dr. Upjohn can explain
1550
01:04:35,137 --> 01:04:36,605
What we've been discussing.
1551
01:04:36,672 --> 01:04:39,041
He's in--in the same position that you're in.
1552
01:04:39,108 --> 01:04:41,043
You mean you're out of work?
Mm, precisely.
1553
01:04:41,110 --> 01:04:43,346
The elizabethan section at Pelham University
1554
01:04:43,411 --> 01:04:46,447
Was felled by an enlargement of the science department,
1555
01:04:46,514 --> 01:04:47,982
For experimental work
1556
01:04:48,050 --> 01:04:50,586
On the anti-anti- anti-Missile program.
1557
01:04:50,652 --> 01:04:53,155
Is that so? I thought it was different in the east.
1558
01:04:53,222 --> 01:04:54,557
No, worse, sir, if anything.
1559
01:04:54,623 --> 01:04:56,891
In one new england University, I'm informed,
1560
01:04:56,958 --> 01:04:59,961
The entire fine arts department is now housed
1561
01:05:00,027 --> 01:05:02,664
In a room over a local drugstore.
1562
01:05:02,731 --> 01:05:04,199
Isn't that-- oh, yeah.
1563
01:05:04,266 --> 01:05:07,403
Vina--exactly what I've been saying all along.
1564
01:05:07,469 --> 01:05:08,669
Yes, dear.
1565
01:05:08,737 --> 01:05:10,405
The human race, unquestionably, is headed right back
1566
01:05:10,472 --> 01:05:11,840
For the caves and the treetops.
1567
01:05:11,907 --> 01:05:13,109
Unquestionably!
1568
01:05:13,175 --> 01:05:16,411
Unless...unless, sir, you accept my alternative
1569
01:05:16,478 --> 01:05:17,646
And we fight back.
1570
01:05:17,713 --> 01:05:19,281
Fight back how?
1571
01:05:19,347 --> 01:05:20,849
Through a resistance movement, professor,
1572
01:05:20,916 --> 01:05:22,350
A counter-campaign.
1573
01:05:22,416 --> 01:05:25,186
To be specific, through a Leaf foundation.
1574
01:05:25,253 --> 01:05:27,154
What do you mean, a Leaf foundation?
1575
01:05:27,222 --> 01:05:30,259
Dr. Upjohn proposes a foundation dedicated
1576
01:05:30,326 --> 01:05:32,461
Exclusively to the arts and humanities,
1577
01:05:32,527 --> 01:05:33,461
Giving scholarships.
1578
01:05:33,528 --> 01:05:35,496
Hundreds upon thousands of scholarships!
1579
01:05:35,563 --> 01:05:36,530
A veritable army, sir!
1580
01:05:36,597 --> 01:05:37,532
You see?
1581
01:05:37,599 --> 01:05:38,668
Uh-huh.
1582
01:05:38,733 --> 01:05:40,434
That's a very interesting idea.
1583
01:05:40,501 --> 01:05:43,938
Very interesting sort of call to action.
1584
01:05:44,005 --> 01:05:46,041
Very flattering for me, too--
1585
01:05:46,108 --> 01:05:48,176
Who's going to pick up the check?
1586
01:05:48,242 --> 01:05:49,978
We would, sir. The foundation.
1587
01:05:50,045 --> 01:05:51,480
With what?
1588
01:05:51,547 --> 01:05:52,949
Erasmus, darling.
1589
01:05:53,014 --> 01:05:55,384
The boy's astonishing talents could be harnessed
1590
01:05:55,451 --> 01:05:57,485
For the welfare of generations to come.
1591
01:05:57,552 --> 01:05:59,255
Well, how?
1592
01:05:59,320 --> 01:06:01,856
Now, you admitted that wasn't immoral,
1593
01:06:01,923 --> 01:06:03,992
And that it can be done perfectly legally--
1594
01:06:04,059 --> 01:06:05,561
Racehorse picking?
1595
01:06:05,628 --> 01:06:06,762
Racehorse pick--
1596
01:06:06,829 --> 01:06:08,330
Vina, I told you that I am--
1597
01:06:08,396 --> 01:06:09,931
Absolutely put my foot down
1598
01:06:09,998 --> 01:06:10,965
On anything--
1599
01:06:11,032 --> 01:06:12,567
( band music playing )
1600
01:06:12,634 --> 01:06:13,836
What is that?
1601
01:06:13,902 --> 01:06:15,803
This is a very commendable project,
1602
01:06:15,871 --> 01:06:18,407
But to involve a small boy in--
1603
01:06:18,472 --> 01:06:21,309
What the devil is going on out there?
1604
01:06:21,376 --> 01:06:22,744
Vina!
1605
01:06:22,811 --> 01:06:23,979
Hey, professor, look!
1606
01:06:24,045 --> 01:06:25,047
It's kids from the University!
1607
01:06:25,112 --> 01:06:26,348
With torches!
1608
01:06:36,057 --> 01:06:38,793
Looks like we already have an army, doctor.
1609
01:06:38,860 --> 01:06:40,496
There he is! Come on, guys!
1610
01:06:40,561 --> 01:06:47,435
L-e-a-f, Leaf!
1611
01:06:48,603 --> 01:06:50,072
We want Leaf!
1612
01:06:50,137 --> 01:06:51,940
We want Leaf!
1613
01:06:52,007 --> 01:06:53,809
We want Leaf!
1614
01:06:53,875 --> 01:06:55,378
We want Leaf!
1615
01:06:55,443 --> 01:06:57,545
We want Leaf!
1616
01:06:57,612 --> 01:06:59,447
Uh, professor Leaf,
1617
01:06:59,514 --> 01:07:01,949
Sir, on behalf of the students
1618
01:07:02,016 --> 01:07:03,183
Of your english poetry--
1619
01:07:03,251 --> 01:07:05,421
Of your english poetry section, professor,
1620
01:07:05,487 --> 01:07:08,856
We hereby petition you to return to the University
1621
01:07:08,923 --> 01:07:10,958
And fill the void that now exists.
1622
01:07:11,025 --> 01:07:13,261
( cheering )
1623
01:07:14,496 --> 01:07:15,264
We want l--!
1624
01:07:15,329 --> 01:07:16,797
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
1625
01:07:16,864 --> 01:07:18,432
I, uh, first, let me thank you
1626
01:07:18,500 --> 01:07:20,869
For making an old accordion player
1627
01:07:20,936 --> 01:07:22,971
Feel like a young football hero.
1628
01:07:23,038 --> 01:07:24,338
( laughing )
1629
01:07:24,405 --> 01:07:27,275
I, uh, this display is very gratifying.
1630
01:07:27,342 --> 01:07:30,311
It's a--it's very touching.
1631
01:07:30,378 --> 01:07:34,250
But, uh, in the words of shakespeare,
1632
01:07:34,315 --> 01:07:37,018
"everyone can master a grief but he that has it."
1633
01:07:37,085 --> 01:07:38,753
No, come back, professor!
1634
01:07:38,820 --> 01:07:39,822
Yeah!
1635
01:07:39,887 --> 01:07:41,023
( band plays again )
1636
01:07:41,088 --> 01:07:42,657
We want Leaf!
1637
01:07:42,724 --> 01:07:43,759
We want Leaf!
1638
01:07:43,824 --> 01:07:45,326
Now, I--
We want Leaf!
1639
01:07:45,393 --> 01:07:48,431
I naturally would enjoy returning to the campus,
1640
01:07:48,496 --> 01:07:52,500
I...just, uh,
1641
01:07:52,567 --> 01:07:58,541
Just here, as I look into your eager faces,
1642
01:07:58,606 --> 01:08:02,177
I somehow see hundreds and hundreds and hundreds
1643
01:08:02,244 --> 01:08:03,478
Of other young people,
1644
01:08:03,545 --> 01:08:05,681
People not as fortunate as you,
1645
01:08:05,748 --> 01:08:09,117
And, dang it, I don't know what to say!
1646
01:08:09,184 --> 01:08:13,121
( laughing )
1647
01:08:13,188 --> 01:08:14,856
As a matter of fact, ladies and gentlemen,
1648
01:08:14,922 --> 01:08:19,260
I have just been asked to participate in a project...
1649
01:08:19,328 --> 01:08:22,198
And I suddenly realize I just can't reject it!
1650
01:08:22,264 --> 01:08:26,467
In association with Dr. Peregrine Upjohn, here,
1651
01:08:26,533 --> 01:08:29,804
We are about to establish a foundation
1652
01:08:29,872 --> 01:08:31,472
Which will provide scholarships
1653
01:08:31,539 --> 01:08:33,140
In the arts and the humanities
1654
01:08:33,207 --> 01:08:35,409
For deserving students who can't otherwise
1655
01:08:35,476 --> 01:08:36,711
Pay their way through college.
1656
01:08:44,552 --> 01:08:46,788
My heartiest congratulations, my dear Leaf.
1657
01:08:46,855 --> 01:08:50,291
You are indeed one of nature's noblemen.
1658
01:08:50,359 --> 01:08:52,494
Ladies and gentlemen, through the good offices
1659
01:08:52,560 --> 01:08:54,429
Of your beloved poet and mentor,
1660
01:08:54,496 --> 01:08:57,466
We shall endow a veritable army to give challenge
1661
01:08:57,533 --> 01:09:00,502
To the ugly hoards of space-age plumbers
1662
01:09:00,569 --> 01:09:02,371
And slide-rule manipulators
1663
01:09:02,438 --> 01:09:03,938
Our schools are turning out
1664
01:09:04,005 --> 01:09:05,306
To take over the world!
1665
01:09:09,612 --> 01:09:11,279
Vina, isn't this wonderful?
1666
01:09:11,345 --> 01:09:13,181
Yes, darling, but please don't
1667
01:09:13,248 --> 01:09:14,582
Invite them all for dinner.
1668
01:09:14,649 --> 01:09:15,650
Oh, no. No.
1669
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:19,020
Just think of the youngsters
1670
01:09:19,087 --> 01:09:20,322
These scholarships will help, honey.
1671
01:09:20,389 --> 01:09:21,890
Just think of it!
1672
01:09:21,957 --> 01:09:23,158
The whole thing's gonna be run
1673
01:09:23,224 --> 01:09:25,060
On a purely businesslike basis.
1674
01:09:25,126 --> 01:09:27,296
Upjohn's gonna take care of that.
1675
01:09:27,363 --> 01:09:29,698
I'm gonna work on the plan itself,
1676
01:09:29,765 --> 01:09:31,566
You know, like finding the right kids
1677
01:09:31,632 --> 01:09:32,900
And high schools, things like that.
1678
01:09:32,967 --> 01:09:34,869
Oh, we're gonna make out beautifully, darling,
1679
01:09:34,935 --> 01:09:36,304
Even on a limited salary.
1680
01:09:36,371 --> 01:09:37,573
Oh, no salary.
1681
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:39,374
No salary, we agreed on that.
1682
01:09:39,440 --> 01:09:41,242
Neither one of us are gonna take salaries
1683
01:09:41,310 --> 01:09:42,711
From the foundation, only expenses.
1684
01:09:42,778 --> 01:09:46,280
Expenses, then, as long as you're happy.
1685
01:09:46,347 --> 01:09:47,949
You know, everything is working out
1686
01:09:48,016 --> 01:09:49,650
So wonderfully-- everything--
1687
01:09:49,717 --> 01:09:53,221
Panny's dress and the Leaf foundation and Dr. Volker.
1688
01:09:53,287 --> 01:09:56,423
Dr. V--i-i-i just can't get over that.
1689
01:09:56,490 --> 01:09:58,493
How about that, isn't it--isn't it--
1690
01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:01,931
W-wonderful to know how normal ras is?
1691
01:10:01,997 --> 01:10:03,632
And this influenced my decision,
1692
01:10:03,698 --> 01:10:06,467
As far as working for this foundation is concerned,
1693
01:10:06,534 --> 01:10:08,869
But volker called me into his office,
1694
01:10:08,936 --> 01:10:12,707
And now that we know that he's a perfectly healthy--
1695
01:10:12,774 --> 01:10:14,975
Uh, well, would you let me finish?
1696
01:10:15,042 --> 01:10:16,478
You were finished.
1697
01:10:17,878 --> 01:10:22,283
And in his last race, third in the time of 1:29.
1698
01:10:22,350 --> 01:10:26,954
Now, uh, today he carries a weight of 119 pounds.
1699
01:10:27,021 --> 01:10:28,422
Well, that's the lot, my boy.
1700
01:10:28,489 --> 01:10:30,324
If you have the computation soon enough,
1701
01:10:30,391 --> 01:10:31,726
We'll have time to wager
1702
01:10:31,793 --> 01:10:33,394
On the eighth race at santa anita.
1703
01:10:33,462 --> 01:10:34,997
You bore me.
1704
01:10:35,063 --> 01:10:36,096
Son!
1705
01:10:36,163 --> 01:10:38,198
That's the name of the horse.
1706
01:10:38,265 --> 01:10:39,634
You bore me.
1707
01:10:39,702 --> 01:10:41,903
Post position number three,
1708
01:10:41,970 --> 01:10:44,039
The morning odds are 5-2.
1709
01:10:44,105 --> 01:10:45,239
Well, hardly a long shot,
1710
01:10:45,306 --> 01:10:46,807
But we have to begin the funds
1711
01:10:46,875 --> 01:10:48,743
For the Leaf foundation somewhere, don't we?
1712
01:10:48,810 --> 01:10:50,312
Well, now that we have the selection,
1713
01:10:50,378 --> 01:10:51,880
W-what do we do?
1714
01:10:51,947 --> 01:10:54,082
Because I'm as innocent in these matters
1715
01:10:54,149 --> 01:10:55,684
As you are, my dear Leaf,
1716
01:10:55,750 --> 01:10:58,753
I've taken the liberty of engaging an accountant
1717
01:10:58,820 --> 01:11:01,422
Familiar with matters of the turf.
1718
01:11:01,489 --> 01:11:03,625
Uh, Mr. Christopher Argyle, please.
1719
01:11:03,692 --> 01:11:05,926
He's associated with a large firm
1720
01:11:05,993 --> 01:11:07,662
Of auditors in Oakland.
1721
01:11:07,729 --> 01:11:09,363
Uh, Mr. Argyle?
1722
01:11:09,430 --> 01:11:11,667
Hey, mulehead, it's for you.
Yeah?
1723
01:11:11,734 --> 01:11:12,668
Yeah, I'm busy.
1724
01:11:12,734 --> 01:11:14,636
I got coffee money going on this game.
1725
01:11:14,703 --> 01:11:15,737
It's Upjohn.
1726
01:11:15,804 --> 01:11:16,805
Upjohn?
1727
01:11:20,875 --> 01:11:21,909
Yeah, Johnny?
1728
01:11:21,976 --> 01:11:23,979
Mr. Argyle, I wonder if you'd be kind enough
1729
01:11:24,046 --> 01:11:26,548
To place a wager on a horse in the eighth race
1730
01:11:26,614 --> 01:11:28,349
At santa anita this afternoon.
1731
01:11:28,416 --> 01:11:29,652
Well, my credit ain't good
1732
01:11:29,717 --> 01:11:31,619
For more than two finnits, you know, Johnny boy.
1733
01:11:31,686 --> 01:11:33,387
Oh, thank you, sir, a $10 bet
1734
01:11:33,454 --> 01:11:35,023
Is an excellent beginning.
1735
01:11:35,090 --> 01:11:37,592
After all, the ford foundation started humbly enough,
1736
01:11:37,658 --> 01:11:39,259
With just old henry and a monkey wrench.
1737
01:11:39,327 --> 01:11:40,662
I dig. They're there, huh?
1738
01:11:40,729 --> 01:11:42,963
Okay, doctor, what's the name of the beast?
1739
01:11:43,030 --> 01:11:44,033
You bore me.
1740
01:11:44,099 --> 01:11:45,432
You bore me. Ten on the nose.
1741
01:11:45,500 --> 01:11:46,969
I'll move on it right now.
1742
01:11:47,034 --> 01:11:47,969
Thank you, Mr. Argyle.
1743
01:11:48,036 --> 01:11:49,038
Right, doc.
1744
01:11:56,310 --> 01:12:00,081
Here's 10, 20, 5, 6, 7, 8--
1745
01:12:00,148 --> 01:12:01,850
Not bad for a start, huh?
1746
01:12:01,917 --> 01:12:03,718
Slowly but surely, my dear mulehead,
1747
01:12:03,784 --> 01:12:10,125
We'll work our way up to majestic levels of investment.
1748
01:12:10,192 --> 01:12:11,694
Town clown.
1749
01:12:18,567 --> 01:12:20,402
Myra's hope.
1750
01:12:24,773 --> 01:12:26,074
Abladon.
1751
01:12:30,278 --> 01:12:31,680
Bandito.
1752
01:12:31,747 --> 01:12:32,681
Bandito.
1753
01:12:32,747 --> 01:12:34,082
Bandito.
1754
01:12:37,819 --> 01:12:40,354
I'm so happy I ever met you.
1755
01:12:40,421 --> 01:12:41,757
You're such a sport!
1756
01:12:41,823 --> 01:12:44,091
I can see how happy you are, my little one--
1757
01:12:44,158 --> 01:12:45,993
You're overflowing with joy.
1758
01:12:47,296 --> 01:12:48,730
Go powder your nose, my dear.
1759
01:12:48,796 --> 01:12:49,864
Why, is it--
1760
01:12:50,931 --> 01:12:52,166
Oh.
1761
01:12:52,234 --> 01:12:53,769
Oh, sure, sport.
1762
01:12:53,836 --> 01:12:55,470
Now, what is it?
1763
01:12:55,537 --> 01:12:57,506
Hmm? Oh, troublesville.
1764
01:12:57,573 --> 01:12:59,740
Today's long shot drove another book under.
1765
01:12:59,807 --> 01:13:02,109
That's six bookies we've busted this week, Johnny.
1766
01:13:02,176 --> 01:13:03,711
I tell you, the word's out.
1767
01:13:03,779 --> 01:13:05,413
I can't get any action covered no place.
1768
01:13:05,479 --> 01:13:06,480
It was inevitable.
1769
01:13:06,547 --> 01:13:07,948
You'll just have to go to the track
1770
01:13:08,015 --> 01:13:09,451
And bet the machines.
Yeah, but Johnny--
1771
01:13:09,518 --> 01:13:11,485
I know it's legal, but we can't quit now.
1772
01:13:11,552 --> 01:13:12,753
Yeah, I guess you're right.
1773
01:13:12,820 --> 01:13:14,756
All of this on number 11.
1774
01:13:30,404 --> 01:13:31,605
All right, all right,
1775
01:13:31,672 --> 01:13:33,375
Let's have a loud applause for the captain.
1776
01:13:33,440 --> 01:13:35,309
Hey, captain!
1777
01:13:35,377 --> 01:13:36,445
You going to launch her?
1778
01:13:36,511 --> 01:13:37,878
Yes, sir!
1779
01:13:37,945 --> 01:13:39,113
Well, wait for us!
1780
01:13:39,180 --> 01:13:40,414
Yeah, we'll be right down!
1781
01:13:40,480 --> 01:13:43,117
Terry, you put something on, now.
1782
01:13:43,184 --> 01:13:45,420
Oh, professor, I'm covered.
1783
01:13:45,487 --> 01:13:46,587
Compass, come on.
1784
01:13:46,654 --> 01:13:48,791
Come on, let's go.
1785
01:13:58,867 --> 01:14:01,503
The captain: well, we've got a good day for it.
1786
01:14:03,371 --> 01:14:05,373
Anything for me, Mr. Rudy?
1787
01:14:05,439 --> 01:14:06,607
There is today, ras.
1788
01:14:06,675 --> 01:14:07,976
It's from france.
1789
01:14:08,042 --> 01:14:09,644
From france!
1790
01:14:22,923 --> 01:14:24,192
Come on, ras!
1791
01:14:24,259 --> 01:14:26,427
Come on!
1792
01:14:26,493 --> 01:14:28,462
That's a fine thing-- a man deserting
1793
01:14:28,529 --> 01:14:30,097
A ship before it's even launched!
1794
01:14:30,163 --> 01:14:31,532
Dad, can I see you?
1795
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:33,568
No, now, this is a great moment for the captain.
1796
01:14:33,635 --> 01:14:35,470
You are hereby appointed master
1797
01:14:35,537 --> 01:14:37,573
Of the good ship pacific pride.
1798
01:14:39,407 --> 01:14:41,042
Well, what are you waiting for?
1799
01:14:41,109 --> 01:14:43,278
Into the drink with it. Here, give it to me.
1800
01:14:43,344 --> 01:14:45,146
I'll show you.
1801
01:14:45,212 --> 01:14:47,215
Now, she's launched.
1802
01:14:48,483 --> 01:14:50,184
Thar she blows!
1803
01:14:50,251 --> 01:14:51,920
Hurrah!
1804
01:15:01,596 --> 01:15:02,730
She sank.
1805
01:15:05,934 --> 01:15:07,034
Aw, that's...
1806
01:15:07,100 --> 01:15:08,302
What a shame.
1807
01:15:08,369 --> 01:15:09,503
And after all that work.
1808
01:15:09,570 --> 01:15:11,073
Yeah, that's--
Can we go now, dad?
1809
01:15:11,139 --> 01:15:13,375
Can I talk to you, dad, can I see you?
1810
01:15:13,440 --> 01:15:14,641
Not now, son.
1811
01:15:14,708 --> 01:15:16,545
Well, let's see if we can't get it.
1812
01:15:16,610 --> 01:15:19,279
You can't wade in here. It's three fathoms deep.
1813
01:15:19,346 --> 01:15:21,048
Dad, this is important.
1814
01:15:21,114 --> 01:15:21,949
Oh, all right.
1815
01:15:22,016 --> 01:15:23,985
I guess we have a summit meeting.
1816
01:15:25,453 --> 01:15:26,654
All right, son, now, what's all
1817
01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:28,622
The mysterious excitement?
1818
01:15:28,689 --> 01:15:30,692
Will you read this for me?
1819
01:15:30,759 --> 01:15:31,993
Can't you read it?
1820
01:15:34,496 --> 01:15:35,462
B.b.?
1821
01:15:35,529 --> 01:15:37,398
Brigitte Bardot.
1822
01:15:37,466 --> 01:15:39,200
Well, son, you never told me
1823
01:15:39,266 --> 01:15:41,202
You corresponded with her.
1824
01:15:41,269 --> 01:15:42,971
You never asked me.
1825
01:15:43,037 --> 01:15:46,341
Well, I never thought about it.
1826
01:15:46,408 --> 01:15:48,076
Well, you wrote to her, huh?
1827
01:15:48,143 --> 01:15:49,877
Every night.
1828
01:15:49,944 --> 01:15:50,978
Every night?
1829
01:15:52,613 --> 01:15:55,049
Would you read it to me? It's in french talk.
1830
01:15:55,117 --> 01:15:56,918
Let's see.
1831
01:15:56,984 --> 01:15:58,853
Uh... Mon petite cherie, eras--
1832
01:15:58,920 --> 01:16:01,922
"my dear little Erasmus,
1833
01:16:01,989 --> 01:16:05,460
"I have before me all your sweet letters.
1834
01:16:05,527 --> 01:16:10,398
"I have never received such lovely letters
1835
01:16:10,465 --> 01:16:12,568
"from a little boy before...
1836
01:16:14,636 --> 01:16:21,342
"and I am"-- touche-- "touched by your--
1837
01:16:21,408 --> 01:16:24,444
"I am so touched by yours
1838
01:16:24,511 --> 01:16:27,849
"that it makes me"-- uh, triste--
1839
01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:29,449
"sad.
1840
01:16:29,516 --> 01:16:32,953
"I have not written to you before,"
1841
01:16:33,020 --> 01:16:36,957
Uh, "now, how beautiful they are.
1842
01:16:37,024 --> 01:16:39,693
I wish I could meet you."
1843
01:16:39,761 --> 01:16:42,331
Uh, uh... ( mumbling french)
1844
01:16:47,069 --> 01:16:52,273
Oh--"i wish that someday you could come to see me.
1845
01:16:52,340 --> 01:16:56,444
"write to me again, and always remember--
1846
01:16:56,511 --> 01:16:58,913
"je t'adore.
1847
01:16:58,979 --> 01:17:00,981
B.b."
1848
01:17:01,048 --> 01:17:02,350
Wow. Well.
1849
01:17:04,719 --> 01:17:06,154
Well, that's a very sweet letter, son.
1850
01:17:06,220 --> 01:17:07,555
Can i?
1851
01:17:07,622 --> 01:17:08,657
Can you what?
1852
01:17:08,722 --> 01:17:10,091
Can I go visit her?
1853
01:17:10,158 --> 01:17:14,929
Oh, well, it's, uh, very far away, son.
1854
01:17:14,996 --> 01:17:16,730
But she said come, didn't she?
1855
01:17:16,797 --> 01:17:18,733
Well, I know, but paris, france--
1856
01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:20,668
That's all the way across the atlantic ocean.
1857
01:17:20,734 --> 01:17:21,902
That's all right.
1858
01:17:21,970 --> 01:17:24,640
I don't mind, and she did invite me.
1859
01:17:26,507 --> 01:17:28,275
Well, yeah, well, I-I'll certainly
1860
01:17:28,341 --> 01:17:29,643
Think about it, ras,
1861
01:17:29,711 --> 01:17:31,746
But I can't promise anything.
1862
01:17:31,813 --> 01:17:33,347
After all, a trip like this costs
1863
01:17:33,413 --> 01:17:34,448
An awful lot of money.
1864
01:17:34,515 --> 01:17:36,617
I have $11 left.
1865
01:17:36,685 --> 01:17:38,220
No, it'd take more than that, son.
1866
01:17:38,286 --> 01:17:39,420
Lot more than that.
1867
01:17:39,487 --> 01:17:40,454
I can make some more.
1868
01:17:40,520 --> 01:17:41,722
How?
1869
01:17:41,788 --> 01:17:44,291
Make Dr. Upjohn pay me for picking those horses.
1870
01:17:44,359 --> 01:17:46,727
Oh...no.
1871
01:17:46,793 --> 01:17:48,762
No, ras, you see,
1872
01:17:48,828 --> 01:17:50,931
Now, that money is for our foundation,
1873
01:17:50,998 --> 01:17:53,501
For a really important purpose.
1874
01:17:53,567 --> 01:17:57,872
And we only use it for the absolutely essential expenses,
1875
01:17:57,939 --> 01:17:59,474
And making a trip to paris
1876
01:17:59,541 --> 01:18:01,809
To see brigitte Bardot just is not
1877
01:18:01,876 --> 01:18:07,081
An absolutely essential, uh, expense.
1878
01:18:07,148 --> 01:18:10,685
Well, son, let me think about this, now.
1879
01:18:10,751 --> 01:18:15,390
You, uh, let me think about it.
1880
01:18:15,457 --> 01:18:17,292
We'll see.
1881
01:18:18,793 --> 01:18:20,028
We'll see.
1882
01:18:23,998 --> 01:18:25,934
That was a very nice letter, ras.
1883
01:18:38,747 --> 01:18:40,949
Now, come now, lad, we haven't all day.
1884
01:18:41,015 --> 01:18:42,617
Ras, ras, come on, now, come on.
1885
01:18:42,682 --> 01:18:43,685
I'm thinking.
1886
01:18:43,752 --> 01:18:44,819
What are you thinking about?
1887
01:18:44,886 --> 01:18:46,388
Brigitte Bardot.
1888
01:18:46,453 --> 01:18:48,055
What race is she in?
1889
01:18:48,122 --> 01:18:49,757
No, this is the actress.
1890
01:18:49,824 --> 01:18:51,725
You said I could go see her.
1891
01:18:51,792 --> 01:18:53,628
We've got work to do, young man.
1892
01:18:53,694 --> 01:18:55,596
There's no time to skip off to the movies.
1893
01:18:55,663 --> 01:18:57,131
He's not talking about the movies.
1894
01:18:57,198 --> 01:18:58,533
You promised.
1895
01:18:58,600 --> 01:19:00,201
No, no, son, I didn't promise.
1896
01:19:00,268 --> 01:19:01,368
I said we'd see.
1897
01:19:01,435 --> 01:19:03,505
Now, see here, we've got only half an hour
1898
01:19:03,570 --> 01:19:04,838
To make the feature race.
1899
01:19:04,905 --> 01:19:06,541
Now, let's run through the entries once more--
1900
01:19:06,606 --> 01:19:07,641
No.
1901
01:19:07,708 --> 01:19:08,708
What do you mean, no?
1902
01:19:08,775 --> 01:19:09,877
He means no.
1903
01:19:09,944 --> 01:19:11,878
When he says no, he means no!
1904
01:19:11,945 --> 01:19:14,082
Does this mean he's not gonna select today's horse?
1905
01:19:14,149 --> 01:19:15,615
Not until I go see her.
1906
01:19:15,682 --> 01:19:16,684
See who?
1907
01:19:16,751 --> 01:19:17,717
Brigitte Bardot.
1908
01:19:17,784 --> 01:19:18,920
I told you-- this boy
1909
01:19:18,987 --> 01:19:20,555
Has an invitation
1910
01:19:20,621 --> 01:19:21,689
To go to paris
1911
01:19:21,756 --> 01:19:23,458
To see Miss brigitte Bardot.
1912
01:19:23,524 --> 01:19:25,626
This is utter nonsense, Leaf.
1913
01:19:25,693 --> 01:19:27,494
A young kid of ten years old, going--
1914
01:19:27,561 --> 01:19:28,796
I'm eight!
1915
01:19:28,863 --> 01:19:31,132
If you want to be ten, you'd better pick a horse.
1916
01:19:31,198 --> 01:19:32,466
Wait a minute, here, Upjohn!
1917
01:19:32,533 --> 01:19:34,634
If you're gonna take that kind of an attitude,
1918
01:19:34,702 --> 01:19:36,103
You're asking for a lot more trouble
1919
01:19:36,170 --> 01:19:37,771
Than you may be able to handle!
1920
01:19:37,838 --> 01:19:39,106
Oh, what's gotten into you, Robert?
1921
01:19:39,173 --> 01:19:40,908
I'd like to know what's gotten into you!
1922
01:19:40,975 --> 01:19:42,143
Well, my dear colleague,
1923
01:19:42,210 --> 01:19:43,944
We've a great deal of money involved here,
1924
01:19:44,011 --> 01:19:45,846
And Mr. Argyle is waiting for a horse!
1925
01:19:45,912 --> 01:19:46,846
And that's another thing--
1926
01:19:46,913 --> 01:19:48,448
I'd like to meet Mr. Argyle
1927
01:19:48,515 --> 01:19:49,750
One of these days.
1928
01:19:49,817 --> 01:19:51,752
I'd like to meet brigitte Bardot.
1929
01:19:51,819 --> 01:19:53,688
Well, maybe we will, son.
1930
01:19:53,755 --> 01:19:55,457
Maybe we just will-- come on.
1931
01:19:55,523 --> 01:19:56,724
Where are you going?
1932
01:19:56,791 --> 01:19:58,059
I'm going home,
1933
01:19:58,126 --> 01:19:59,560
And I'm gonna find some way
1934
01:19:59,627 --> 01:20:01,496
To get this boy to paris.
1935
01:20:03,797 --> 01:20:06,534
( knocking )
1936
01:20:12,774 --> 01:20:14,242
Dr. Upjohn!
1937
01:20:14,309 --> 01:20:16,476
Oh, forgive this intrusion, dear friends,
1938
01:20:16,543 --> 01:20:17,645
But I had to come.
1939
01:20:17,712 --> 01:20:19,047
For you, dear lady.
1940
01:20:19,113 --> 01:20:20,614
Oh, thank you.
And for you, Robert,
1941
01:20:20,680 --> 01:20:22,416
A most noble grape.
1942
01:20:22,484 --> 01:20:23,518
And where are the children?
1943
01:20:23,585 --> 01:20:24,752
I have candy for them.
1944
01:20:24,819 --> 01:20:25,954
His and hers.
1945
01:20:26,020 --> 01:20:27,787
Oh, that's very thoughtful of you.
1946
01:20:27,854 --> 01:20:29,423
I hope I'm in time to apologize
1947
01:20:29,490 --> 01:20:31,725
For my behavior this afternoon, Robert.
1948
01:20:31,792 --> 01:20:34,060
I was hasty and selfish,
1949
01:20:34,127 --> 01:20:35,595
But after thinking it over,
1950
01:20:35,662 --> 01:20:37,431
I realized how important it is
1951
01:20:37,497 --> 01:20:41,436
That Erasmus keep his rendezvous with Miss Bardot.
So by all means--
1952
01:20:41,502 --> 01:20:42,537
Just a moment, doctor.
1953
01:20:42,604 --> 01:20:43,905
Are you suggesting that Erasmus
1954
01:20:43,970 --> 01:20:45,206
Goes to paris?
1955
01:20:45,273 --> 01:20:46,074
I am, indeed.
1956
01:20:46,140 --> 01:20:48,576
Robert! Y-you can't give in
1957
01:20:48,643 --> 01:20:49,710
To a child's whim.
1958
01:20:49,777 --> 01:20:50,944
Whim?
1959
01:20:51,011 --> 01:20:52,212
Honey, this is an obsession.
1960
01:20:52,279 --> 01:20:53,747
For the sake of the foundation,
1961
01:20:53,814 --> 01:20:55,683
We must pack him off to paris forthwith.
1962
01:20:55,750 --> 01:20:57,551
Alone?
His father will take him.
1963
01:20:57,618 --> 01:20:58,920
Hold on, now.
1964
01:20:58,987 --> 01:21:00,387
How could we do that?
1965
01:21:00,453 --> 01:21:01,655
And the cost would--
1966
01:21:01,721 --> 01:21:02,724
Damn the cost, sir.
1967
01:21:02,789 --> 01:21:04,292
Erasmus is our most valued asset.
1968
01:21:04,358 --> 01:21:05,793
Indeed, he and my adding machine
1969
01:21:05,859 --> 01:21:07,295
Are our only assets.
1970
01:21:07,360 --> 01:21:09,430
If the machine broke down, we'd have it repaired.
1971
01:21:09,497 --> 01:21:11,932
You mean, we can take the funds from the foundation?
1972
01:21:11,998 --> 01:21:13,768
And fly to paris.
1973
01:21:13,835 --> 01:21:17,105
Behold, two jet plane round-trip tickets
1974
01:21:17,171 --> 01:21:18,405
To orly field, paris.
1975
01:21:18,472 --> 01:21:19,841
Well, i...
1976
01:21:19,908 --> 01:21:22,610
Honey, what do you think?
1977
01:21:22,676 --> 01:21:24,744
Why not?
1978
01:21:24,811 --> 01:21:26,346
Why not?
1979
01:21:26,413 --> 01:21:28,849
Paris, eh?
1980
01:21:28,916 --> 01:21:30,385
( whispering ) paris.
1981
01:21:30,452 --> 01:21:32,720
Brigitte Bardot.
1982
01:21:32,787 --> 01:21:36,591
( playing "la marseillaise" )
1983
01:21:51,038 --> 01:21:52,773
Now, once more.
1984
01:21:52,840 --> 01:21:55,510
Enchante, mademoiselle Bardot.
1985
01:21:55,577 --> 01:21:56,511
Very good.
1986
01:21:56,578 --> 01:21:57,545
Taxi, monsieur?
1987
01:21:57,610 --> 01:21:58,479
Yeah, taxi, oui.
1988
01:21:58,546 --> 01:21:59,514
Taxi!
1989
01:22:03,484 --> 01:22:05,619
Anglais? Vous en parle anglais?
1990
01:22:05,685 --> 01:22:06,987
Oui, un peu, a little.
1991
01:22:07,055 --> 01:22:08,690
Take me to this address.
1992
01:22:08,756 --> 01:22:10,458
Bon.
1993
01:22:11,891 --> 01:22:13,060
This is a distance.
1994
01:22:13,127 --> 01:22:14,596
I must telephone my loving wife.
1995
01:22:14,662 --> 01:22:16,164
She will be waiting.
1996
01:22:16,230 --> 01:22:18,265
But it's brigitte Bardot's house.
1997
01:22:18,332 --> 01:22:20,701
Bebe? My wife can wait.
1998
01:22:41,354 --> 01:22:43,757
Look! Stop! It's her!
1999
01:22:43,824 --> 01:22:45,358
Over there!
2000
01:22:45,426 --> 01:22:47,662
No, monsieur, that is not our bebe.
2001
01:22:47,728 --> 01:22:50,465
In france, many girls try to look like bebe.
2002
01:23:02,109 --> 01:23:03,344
This is it.
2003
01:23:03,409 --> 01:23:05,479
This is the house of brigitte Bardot.
2004
01:23:14,823 --> 01:23:16,358
Monsieur.
2005
01:23:32,105 --> 01:23:33,873
Uh, bonjour.
2006
01:23:33,940 --> 01:23:35,943
Je suis Robert Leaf,
2007
01:23:36,010 --> 01:23:39,114
Et voici mon fils Erasmus.
2008
01:23:41,048 --> 01:23:42,283
Do you have an appointment?
2009
01:23:42,350 --> 01:23:46,253
Oui. Oh, "do you have an appointment"...
2010
01:23:46,319 --> 01:23:48,054
Yeah, I have an appointment
2011
01:23:48,122 --> 01:23:50,425
With, uh, mademoiselle Bardot.
2012
01:23:50,492 --> 01:23:51,426
My name is Leaf.
2013
01:23:51,492 --> 01:23:53,762
Uh, oui. Entre, monsieur Leaf.
2014
01:23:57,163 --> 01:23:58,131
No, no, no...
2015
01:23:58,198 --> 01:24:01,469
( pleading in french )
2016
01:24:08,609 --> 01:24:10,678
Mademoiselle will be here in a minute.
2017
01:24:10,744 --> 01:24:12,146
Merci, thank you.
2018
01:24:31,198 --> 01:24:33,167
I'm scared, dad.
2019
01:24:34,335 --> 01:24:36,936
Oh, now, don't worry, son.
2020
01:24:37,003 --> 01:24:38,739
Everything's gonna be fine.
2021
01:24:38,805 --> 01:24:40,307
Oh, look over here.
2022
01:24:45,679 --> 01:24:48,615
( music box plays )
2023
01:24:50,185 --> 01:24:52,153
See that?
2024
01:24:54,454 --> 01:24:55,457
Hello.
2025
01:24:58,693 --> 01:24:59,827
My name is Leaf.
2026
01:24:59,894 --> 01:25:01,329
Which one is Erasmus?
2027
01:25:02,662 --> 01:25:05,065
Enchante, mademoiselle Bardot.
2028
01:25:05,132 --> 01:25:06,199
Oui, vous parle francais?
2029
01:25:06,265 --> 01:25:09,736
( speaking french )
2030
01:25:13,239 --> 01:25:16,243
Enchante, mademoiselle Bardot.
2031
01:25:16,310 --> 01:25:19,881
Uh, yes, well, I'm afraid that's
2032
01:25:19,948 --> 01:25:21,981
The extent of his vocabulary.
2033
01:25:22,048 --> 01:25:25,386
Oh, then we shall speak in english.
2034
01:25:25,453 --> 01:25:27,788
Thank you for your pretty letters.
2035
01:25:27,854 --> 01:25:30,056
I'm delightful to meet you.
2036
01:25:30,123 --> 01:25:31,725
You are the father of the boy?
2037
01:25:31,792 --> 01:25:33,561
Yes, yes. Robert Leaf.
2038
01:25:33,627 --> 01:25:34,828
Robert...
2039
01:25:34,895 --> 01:25:36,697
Robert Leaf!
2040
01:25:36,764 --> 01:25:38,431
Not the American poet?
2041
01:25:38,498 --> 01:25:41,335
Oh! Oh, y-y-you're familiar with my work?
2042
01:25:41,402 --> 01:25:45,471
"the songbird's flute,
2043
01:25:45,538 --> 01:25:48,175
"the drumbeat of the rain,
2044
01:25:48,242 --> 01:25:51,278
"the sound of wings against the night,
2045
01:25:51,345 --> 01:25:54,782
All join to put my heart to flight."
2046
01:25:54,849 --> 01:25:55,983
There?
2047
01:25:56,050 --> 01:25:58,052
Well, I couldn't be more flattered.
2048
01:25:58,118 --> 01:25:59,385
Flattered.
2049
01:25:59,453 --> 01:26:00,921
Oh, flatte, flattered!
2050
01:26:00,988 --> 01:26:01,923
Flatte.
2051
01:26:03,224 --> 01:26:06,561
It is a pity we have so little time to visit.
2052
01:26:06,627 --> 01:26:10,398
Yes, yes, but this visit belongs to Erasmus.
2053
01:26:10,463 --> 01:26:11,599
Ah.
2054
01:26:11,664 --> 01:26:13,967
Come. We'll have some chocolate.
2055
01:26:14,034 --> 01:26:15,336
Sit down.
2056
01:26:15,402 --> 01:26:16,871
There you are, son.
2057
01:26:16,938 --> 01:26:17,905
Thank you.
2058
01:26:19,207 --> 01:26:21,276
Or do you prefer tea?
2059
01:26:22,141 --> 01:26:23,278
Hmm?
2060
01:26:28,315 --> 01:26:32,452
Well, more chocolate?
2061
01:26:32,520 --> 01:26:35,657
He doesn't speak very much, does he.
2062
01:26:37,390 --> 01:26:39,626
Is your son always so silent?
2063
01:26:39,693 --> 01:26:41,295
Even at home?
2064
01:26:41,362 --> 01:26:43,264
Uh, no, mademoiselle,
2065
01:26:43,331 --> 01:26:48,702
Il le semble mon-- overwhelmed.
2066
01:26:48,769 --> 01:26:50,438
You see, it means
2067
01:26:50,505 --> 01:26:53,606
Much more to him than you realize.
2068
01:26:53,673 --> 01:26:56,743
Erasmus, have you lost your tongue?
2069
01:26:56,810 --> 01:26:59,012
Don't you want to say something, ras?
2070
01:26:59,079 --> 01:27:02,483
Just a few words?
2071
01:27:02,550 --> 01:27:05,886
Well, i'd like to ask mademoiselle Bardot
2072
01:27:05,953 --> 01:27:06,987
For a favor.
2073
01:27:07,054 --> 01:27:08,088
Well, what's that?
2074
01:27:08,155 --> 01:27:09,457
Could I have your autograph?
2075
01:27:10,792 --> 01:27:13,160
You mean, you came from California,
2076
01:27:13,226 --> 01:27:14,327
All the way,
2077
01:27:14,395 --> 01:27:16,864
Only to get my autograph?
2078
01:27:21,368 --> 01:27:23,771
I'm sure we can do better than that.
2079
01:27:23,837 --> 01:27:27,575
I have a new camera,
2080
01:27:27,641 --> 01:27:30,077
And your papa will make a picture.
2081
01:27:30,143 --> 01:27:32,145
Oh, well, i-I'm afraid
2082
01:27:32,212 --> 01:27:34,113
I'm not very good at this sort of thing.
2083
01:27:34,180 --> 01:27:35,482
It's simple.
2084
01:27:35,548 --> 01:27:37,951
You look through there,
2085
01:27:38,018 --> 01:27:40,220
And you press this button,
2086
01:27:40,287 --> 01:27:42,256
And we say "cheese," okay?
2087
01:27:42,323 --> 01:27:43,257
Uh-huh.
2088
01:27:43,323 --> 01:27:44,657
Come on.
2089
01:27:44,725 --> 01:27:45,893
Why cheese?
2090
01:27:45,960 --> 01:27:47,194
That's what they say.
2091
01:27:47,261 --> 01:27:49,129
Cheese, fromage.
2092
01:27:49,195 --> 01:27:50,465
Uh-huh.
2093
01:27:51,865 --> 01:27:53,033
Oh, there you are.
2094
01:27:54,101 --> 01:27:55,068
Look here!
2095
01:27:55,136 --> 01:27:56,537
Look at your papa!
2096
01:27:56,604 --> 01:27:58,338
Is everybody ready now?
2097
01:27:58,404 --> 01:28:00,041
Ras, look this way.
2098
01:28:00,108 --> 01:28:01,108
Look here.
2099
01:28:01,175 --> 01:28:02,409
All right, now, here we go.
2100
01:28:02,476 --> 01:28:06,814
One, two, three, fromage.
2101
01:28:06,880 --> 01:28:07,681
Did you smile?
2102
01:28:07,747 --> 01:28:09,716
Yes, Miss Bardot, I think so.
2103
01:28:09,783 --> 01:28:10,751
Good.
2104
01:28:10,818 --> 01:28:13,020
( speaking french )
2105
01:28:13,087 --> 01:28:14,188
Now, there, ras,
2106
01:28:14,255 --> 01:28:15,855
You'll have a picture of the two of you.
2107
01:28:15,922 --> 01:28:17,724
You can prove to your friends at school
2108
01:28:17,792 --> 01:28:19,760
You really made a dream happen out loud.
2109
01:28:19,827 --> 01:28:21,695
Even if they never believe me,
2110
01:28:21,761 --> 01:28:24,197
I'll always know it happened.
2111
01:28:24,264 --> 01:28:25,266
Dix!
2112
01:28:25,332 --> 01:28:26,734
There we are.
2113
01:28:26,801 --> 01:28:28,236
Look.
2114
01:28:28,301 --> 01:28:29,969
Well, that's amazing.
2115
01:28:30,037 --> 01:28:31,939
Well, I declare.
2116
01:28:33,774 --> 01:28:34,641
Look at, ras.
2117
01:28:34,707 --> 01:28:37,443
Now, I take Erasmus to meet Sophie.
2118
01:28:37,511 --> 01:28:39,881
Excuse, please, us, papa.
2119
01:28:39,947 --> 01:28:41,181
Yes.
2120
01:28:41,247 --> 01:28:43,518
Comes out of this, and--
2121
01:28:43,583 --> 01:28:46,086
Uh, w-where are you taking him?
2122
01:28:46,154 --> 01:28:48,823
To my bedroom. We'll be back.
2123
01:28:54,627 --> 01:28:57,230
I have a gift for you to take home.
2124
01:28:57,297 --> 01:28:58,800
And you don't have to speak french
2125
01:28:58,865 --> 01:29:00,868
To understand this little thing.
2126
01:29:03,069 --> 01:29:04,404
This is Sophie.
2127
01:29:04,471 --> 01:29:06,639
Sophie, this is Erasmus.
2128
01:29:06,707 --> 01:29:09,343
And she has given me some lovely kittens.
2129
01:29:09,409 --> 01:29:10,376
Kittens?
2130
01:29:10,444 --> 01:29:12,412
Yes, little dogs.
2131
01:29:12,479 --> 01:29:14,615
You make friends with her,
2132
01:29:14,681 --> 01:29:17,717
And she will let you pet her kittens.
2133
01:29:17,784 --> 01:29:18,920
There.
2134
01:29:18,985 --> 01:29:20,019
Hmm.
2135
01:29:20,087 --> 01:29:22,056
I think she likes you.
2136
01:29:22,122 --> 01:29:23,222
Now...
2137
01:29:23,289 --> 01:29:24,591
Look.
2138
01:29:27,194 --> 01:29:29,429
( mewing )
2139
01:29:30,363 --> 01:29:31,698
Oh!
2140
01:29:34,969 --> 01:29:36,104
You like it?
2141
01:29:36,170 --> 01:29:37,971
Oh, yes, I do.
2142
01:29:39,172 --> 01:29:40,140
Take it.
2143
01:29:40,207 --> 01:29:41,142
Me?
2144
01:29:41,207 --> 01:29:42,143
Yes.
2145
01:29:56,489 --> 01:29:57,690
Oh, dad,
2146
01:29:57,757 --> 01:30:00,260
Look what Miss Bardot wants me to keep.
2147
01:30:00,328 --> 01:30:02,196
Oh, can I keep him, please?
2148
01:30:02,262 --> 01:30:03,430
Okay, papa?
2149
01:30:03,497 --> 01:30:06,299
Well, i-- yes, it's very nice, of course.
2150
01:30:06,367 --> 01:30:08,668
Oh, boy, I'm gonna call her brigitte.
2151
01:30:08,735 --> 01:30:12,840
That one you better call charles.
2152
01:30:12,907 --> 01:30:14,341
Ahem.
2153
01:30:14,408 --> 01:30:16,477
Well, I guess we've taken up
2154
01:30:16,542 --> 01:30:18,244
Enough of your time, Miss Bardot,
2155
01:30:18,311 --> 01:30:19,680
And I can't thank you enough
2156
01:30:19,746 --> 01:30:21,381
For what you've done for my son.
2157
01:30:21,448 --> 01:30:24,519
Thank you for your poetry,
2158
01:30:24,585 --> 01:30:26,287
And thank you for what your son
2159
01:30:26,354 --> 01:30:28,355
Has done for me.
2160
01:30:28,421 --> 01:30:31,791
I hope to visit you someday in California,
2161
01:30:31,859 --> 01:30:34,161
And you will take me to Disneyland!
2162
01:30:34,228 --> 01:30:35,762
I've never been there, either.
2163
01:30:36,829 --> 01:30:38,733
He has never been to Disneyland?
2164
01:30:38,798 --> 01:30:41,068
And he comes to see me?
2165
01:30:42,869 --> 01:30:44,204
How sweet.
2166
01:31:00,020 --> 01:31:03,724
I'll never forget her. Never, ever.
2167
01:31:04,859 --> 01:31:06,994
She's the most beautiful lady
2168
01:31:07,060 --> 01:31:09,096
In the whole world.
2169
01:31:11,631 --> 01:31:13,800
( blows loudly )
2170
01:31:33,619 --> 01:31:37,957
Oh, hey, welcome!
2171
01:31:38,024 --> 01:31:39,458
Hello, professor!
2172
01:31:39,525 --> 01:31:41,796
George, terry! Look what she gave me!
2173
01:31:41,862 --> 01:31:43,063
Who, brigitte Bardot?
2174
01:31:43,130 --> 01:31:45,465
He rode all the way from paris under my coat.
2175
01:31:45,532 --> 01:31:47,234
Oh, compass, go away.
2176
01:31:47,301 --> 01:31:48,469
Go away, go away.
2177
01:31:48,536 --> 01:31:49,869
Now, you scoot on inside
2178
01:31:49,935 --> 01:31:51,872
And change out of that soggy wet shirt.
2179
01:31:53,640 --> 01:31:55,610
Aw, be quiet, compass!
2180
01:31:57,144 --> 01:31:58,278
Here, you take this.
2181
01:31:58,345 --> 01:32:00,146
Oh, oh!
2182
01:32:00,213 --> 01:32:01,248
Professor Leaf?
2183
01:32:04,385 --> 01:32:05,418
Yes, sir?
2184
01:32:05,485 --> 01:32:07,421
Excuse me, professor, remember me?
2185
01:32:07,488 --> 01:32:08,655
Lt. Rink?
2186
01:32:08,721 --> 01:32:09,922
Oh, yes, the Dean's office.
2187
01:32:09,989 --> 01:32:12,025
Yes. Do you know this man, professor?
2188
01:32:16,563 --> 01:32:17,931
No.
2189
01:32:17,998 --> 01:32:19,398
No, I never saw him before.
2190
01:32:19,466 --> 01:32:21,034
Well, we have him in custody,
2191
01:32:21,100 --> 01:32:23,636
And he claims he works for the Robert Leaf foundation.
2192
01:32:23,703 --> 01:32:25,072
His name's Chris Argyle.
2193
01:32:25,137 --> 01:32:27,006
Argyle? Oh, yeah, we have an associate
2194
01:32:27,073 --> 01:32:28,208
Named Argyle, yes.
2195
01:32:28,274 --> 01:32:29,409
He's an accountant.
2196
01:32:29,475 --> 01:32:30,676
Well, this one's a no-accountant,
2197
01:32:30,743 --> 01:32:32,579
If you'll, uh, forgive the pun.
2198
01:32:32,646 --> 01:32:34,081
He's a cheap confidence man.
2199
01:32:34,148 --> 01:32:35,649
Sorry to have disturbed you, sir.
2200
01:32:35,716 --> 01:32:36,783
Thanks for your cooperation.
2201
01:32:36,850 --> 01:32:38,886
Not at all. Not at all.
2202
01:32:40,487 --> 01:32:41,622
Huh.
2203
01:32:46,260 --> 01:32:47,929
Argyle.
2204
01:32:49,130 --> 01:32:50,096
Excuse me.
2205
01:32:50,163 --> 01:32:51,230
Vina, Dr. Upjohn's
2206
01:32:51,297 --> 01:32:53,501
Just been telling me about poor Mr. Argyle.
2207
01:32:53,567 --> 01:32:54,734
Who?
An auditor.
2208
01:32:54,801 --> 01:32:56,469
He's worked himself into a nervous collapse.
2209
01:32:56,537 --> 01:32:58,105
He'll be confined for quite a while.
2210
01:32:58,171 --> 01:32:59,105
Six months.
2211
01:32:59,172 --> 01:33:00,407
At least.
2212
01:33:00,474 --> 01:33:01,775
And we've decided to take
2213
01:33:01,841 --> 01:33:03,409
One last crack at this thing--
2214
01:33:03,476 --> 01:33:05,045
In other words, put the entire fund
2215
01:33:05,112 --> 01:33:05,878
For the foundation
2216
01:33:05,945 --> 01:33:07,515
On the biggest long shot
2217
01:33:07,581 --> 01:33:09,717
That Erasmus can pick out for us.
2218
01:33:09,783 --> 01:33:12,053
After the salutary effect of his visit to Miss Bardot,
2219
01:33:12,118 --> 01:33:13,987
Erasmus'll be sharper than ever.
2220
01:33:14,055 --> 01:33:15,255
Shall we begin now, Robert?
2221
01:33:15,322 --> 01:33:16,288
Not yet, doctor.
2222
01:33:16,355 --> 01:33:17,291
Our dinner's almost ready.
2223
01:33:17,356 --> 01:33:18,625
You'll stay, won't you?
2224
01:33:18,692 --> 01:33:20,360
I'd be delighted. Your spaghetti's delicious.
2225
01:33:20,427 --> 01:33:21,360
Thank you.
2226
01:33:21,427 --> 01:33:22,762
After you, doctor.
2227
01:33:26,900 --> 01:33:28,135
And in his last race,
2228
01:33:28,202 --> 01:33:31,137
First by a head in a time of 1:10.
2229
01:33:31,204 --> 01:33:34,074
Track clear and fast. Made $3.30.
2230
01:33:34,140 --> 01:33:34,940
And that's it.
2231
01:33:35,007 --> 01:33:36,509
Now, have you got it all, ras?
2232
01:33:36,576 --> 01:33:37,677
Mm-hmm.
2233
01:33:37,744 --> 01:33:39,646
Well, son, what's the verdict?
2234
01:33:39,712 --> 01:33:41,981
Which is the most sure-fire long shot?
2235
01:33:42,048 --> 01:33:44,685
Come on, concentrate, ras.
2236
01:33:44,752 --> 01:33:48,155
Fromage.
2237
01:33:48,221 --> 01:33:50,023
Fromage.
2238
01:33:50,090 --> 01:33:51,257
Fromage?
2239
01:33:51,324 --> 01:33:52,458
Fromage.
2240
01:33:52,525 --> 01:33:55,328
Froma-- I don't recall any horse named fro--
2241
01:33:55,395 --> 01:33:57,331
Cheese! French for cheese!
2242
01:33:57,398 --> 01:33:58,699
Of course, here it is.
2243
01:33:58,765 --> 01:33:59,699
What is it?
2244
01:33:59,765 --> 01:34:01,601
Six at bay meadows.
2245
01:34:01,668 --> 01:34:03,170
You're right, the sixth at bay meadows,
2246
01:34:03,235 --> 01:34:04,337
French cheese.
2247
01:34:04,404 --> 01:34:05,538
Great god in the mountains,
2248
01:34:05,605 --> 01:34:06,773
A 60-1 shot!
2249
01:34:06,840 --> 01:34:08,475
Oh, Robert, this is the one bet
2250
01:34:08,541 --> 01:34:09,710
I'm going to enjoy making.
2251
01:34:09,775 --> 01:34:10,911
I think I'll go out
2252
01:34:10,978 --> 01:34:13,881
To the racetrack myself, this time.
2253
01:34:19,586 --> 01:34:21,188
Three minutes till post time.
2254
01:34:21,255 --> 01:34:23,724
Kenneth, what's the number of our horse?
2255
01:34:23,789 --> 01:34:25,125
Eight, and look at those odds--
2256
01:34:25,192 --> 01:34:26,827
70-1.
2257
01:34:26,893 --> 01:34:29,096
Just wait till the professor and Upjohn
2258
01:34:29,162 --> 01:34:30,229
Start putting their bets down
2259
01:34:30,296 --> 01:34:32,698
And watch the odds on that board change.
2260
01:34:32,765 --> 01:34:35,001
They're changing now!
2261
01:34:38,070 --> 01:34:40,640
They're going up instead of down.
2262
01:34:40,707 --> 01:34:42,710
I guess they haven't started to bet, yet.
2263
01:34:42,777 --> 01:34:44,778
If you'll excuse me, I'll go see what's happening.
2264
01:34:44,845 --> 01:34:46,814
Of course, the odds will drop appreciably,
2265
01:34:46,880 --> 01:34:49,315
But even at 10 or 12-1, we shall have done admirably.
2266
01:34:51,952 --> 01:34:54,088
Start punching tickets on the number eight horse,
2267
01:34:54,154 --> 01:34:55,689
And I'll tell you when to stop.
2268
01:34:55,756 --> 01:34:57,691
Yes, sir.
2269
01:34:57,757 --> 01:34:59,992
One, two, three, four,
2270
01:35:00,060 --> 01:35:01,495
Five, six, seven, eight,
2271
01:35:01,560 --> 01:35:03,563
9,10--that's 1,000.
2272
01:35:03,631 --> 01:35:04,865
They're starting to bet now.
2273
01:35:04,931 --> 01:35:06,699
Hope they get it all down before the race starts.
2274
01:35:06,766 --> 01:35:08,301
The odds are changing again.
2275
01:35:15,742 --> 01:35:17,778
Now, that's the lot. Let's go.
2276
01:35:22,582 --> 01:35:25,185
( bugle plays )
2277
01:35:29,322 --> 01:35:31,458
Even at 10-1, she'll make us wealthy.
2278
01:35:31,524 --> 01:35:33,126
There it is, ras.
2279
01:35:33,193 --> 01:35:35,195
There's the horse gonna make our foundation come true!
2280
01:35:35,261 --> 01:35:37,697
Oh, you darling, darling, french cheese.
2281
01:35:37,764 --> 01:35:39,099
Huh?
2282
01:35:39,166 --> 01:35:41,534
That's your horse, dearest, french cheese.
2283
01:35:41,600 --> 01:35:42,735
Look, now it's 8-1.
2284
01:35:42,802 --> 01:35:45,005
That's not the one I picked.
2285
01:35:47,740 --> 01:35:49,443
W-what was that you said?
2286
01:35:49,510 --> 01:35:51,912
I didn't pick a horse called french cheese.
2287
01:35:51,979 --> 01:35:54,749
The horses are at the gate.
2288
01:35:56,884 --> 01:36:00,386
But ras, you said fromage.
2289
01:36:00,453 --> 01:36:01,720
I did?
2290
01:36:01,787 --> 01:36:04,657
Oh! T-t-t-the entire bankroll
2291
01:36:04,725 --> 01:36:05,693
Was on it!
2292
01:36:05,759 --> 01:36:06,726
( bell rings )
2293
01:36:06,793 --> 01:36:08,862
And there they go.
2294
01:36:08,929 --> 01:36:10,564
American made breaking on top,
2295
01:36:10,631 --> 01:36:12,164
Pig-toed away second from box.
2296
01:36:12,231 --> 01:36:14,533
The third, new year, fourth, ozzie's pal,
2297
01:36:14,600 --> 01:36:16,237
And once too often.
2298
01:36:16,302 --> 01:36:18,072
Bearing the far turn, it's, uh, pig-toed,
2299
01:36:18,139 --> 01:36:20,440
On the rail in front of that, American made.
2300
01:36:20,506 --> 01:36:21,740
Second length coming out,
2301
01:36:21,807 --> 01:36:24,043
Fox and, uh, new year.
2302
01:36:26,880 --> 01:36:28,414
At the top of the stretch,
2303
01:36:28,481 --> 01:36:30,884
It's, uh, pig-toed in front by a length and a half,
2304
01:36:30,949 --> 01:36:32,318
American made, second,
2305
01:36:32,385 --> 01:36:36,257
And from far back and flying, french cheese.
2306
01:36:38,725 --> 01:36:42,195
He's fifth, he's fourth, he's third.
2307
01:36:42,261 --> 01:36:43,896
French cheese!
2308
01:36:43,962 --> 01:36:46,233
Come on, french cheese!
2309
01:36:47,266 --> 01:36:49,336
French cheese is now second.
2310
01:36:49,403 --> 01:36:51,939
Keep going, keep going, keep going!
2311
01:36:52,005 --> 01:36:54,141
French cheese on the outside under the whip.
2312
01:36:54,207 --> 01:36:57,711
Come on, get 'em, french cheese.
2313
01:36:57,777 --> 01:36:59,380
Come on, look at him, look at him go!
2314
01:36:59,445 --> 01:37:01,180
Getting up, and winning it...
2315
01:37:01,247 --> 01:37:02,281
He won!
2316
01:37:02,349 --> 01:37:03,617
He won!
2317
01:37:03,684 --> 01:37:06,420
( cheering )
2318
01:37:06,485 --> 01:37:07,854
Dad, she won!
2319
01:37:07,921 --> 01:37:09,523
French cheese won!
2320
01:37:09,590 --> 01:37:11,125
She won, did you see it?
2321
01:37:11,190 --> 01:37:12,893
She won, dad, she won.
2322
01:37:12,960 --> 01:37:14,293
Ras, what do you know.
2323
01:37:14,360 --> 01:37:15,328
Doctor, did we--
2324
01:37:17,063 --> 01:37:18,864
Did you see her win?
2325
01:37:18,931 --> 01:37:20,033
Come on, let's go.
2326
01:37:21,768 --> 01:37:23,235
We won, sugar, we won.
2327
01:37:23,302 --> 01:37:24,604
Have you the airplane tickets?
2328
01:37:24,671 --> 01:37:26,907
Two for rio.
2329
01:37:26,972 --> 01:37:29,310
It's the only way to fly!
2330
01:37:35,349 --> 01:37:37,417
Dang it, where do you collect when you win?
2331
01:37:37,484 --> 01:37:38,919
On the other side.
2332
01:37:44,990 --> 01:37:47,092
Hold it. I'd like your name and address, please.
2333
01:37:47,159 --> 01:37:49,329
How dare you! Get your clammy hooks off me.
2334
01:37:49,395 --> 01:37:51,898
Treasury department, bureau of internal revenue.
2335
01:37:51,965 --> 01:37:53,967
We have to make certain that income is declared.
2336
01:37:54,033 --> 01:37:55,301
There's nothing to declare.
2337
01:37:55,368 --> 01:37:57,903
This money belongs to a tax-free institution.
2338
01:37:57,970 --> 01:37:59,371
The professor's right. This is the property
2339
01:37:59,439 --> 01:38:01,675
Of the Robert Leaf scholarship foundation.
2340
01:38:01,742 --> 01:38:03,711
Thank you very much, Robert.
2341
01:38:03,777 --> 01:38:05,179
Oh, well, don't thank me, Dean Sawyer,
2342
01:38:05,246 --> 01:38:07,614
Thank Dr. Upjohn, here. It was all his idea.
2343
01:38:07,680 --> 01:38:09,483
My pleasure, doctor.
2344
01:38:09,550 --> 01:38:11,150
How good of you to endow
2345
01:38:11,217 --> 01:38:12,985
Robert's school so handsomely.
2346
01:38:13,052 --> 01:38:15,354
Oh, the press is here.
2347
01:38:15,421 --> 01:38:16,955
They wanna take some pictures.
2348
01:38:17,023 --> 01:38:18,658
Just step up here.
2349
01:38:18,725 --> 01:38:20,560
Now, say "fromage"!
2350
01:38:20,627 --> 01:38:21,896
Fromage!
2351
01:38:42,081 --> 01:38:44,518
( bass line out of tune )
159733
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