Original subtitles

World-wide famous poet

professor in his autumnal years

looks for companion, partner, protector and friend

young lover, delicate soul,

exuberant, frank and beautiful spirit

for sharing bed, meditation, apartment,

help to beat the fury and the guilt of the world,

innocent as slave or master...

deadly tender to the fast pace of time

find me if you can, I'm here

I'm here alone with the alone

A YEAR WITHOUT LOVE

April 26th, 1986

April 26th

I've spent all afternoon trying to write two ads for a magazine

I didn't waste any time to write one of them

I offered french classes, translations and PC work

Good body

It was the other one that really took me all afternoon

What am I? What am I looking for?

I wanted to seem like a masculine boy without specifying it,

I wanted my personality reflected in my speech without saying how I am

At the end, I don't know if it's clear

But it's done, I delivered it and it's going to appear just like that

30, 1,73, 70, skin head, good body. I look for a manly, active, protective, well endowed friend of lover for stable relation and safe sex.

Let's see how its going...

Lean over

Take a deep breath

Again

Yo are a bit better

Anyway, we should consider the posibility that you to stay in a hospital.

but not here.

If you wait me a minute I'll be back with an application

What a mess, Pablito!

I was about to get things in order but I got low blood pressure

it must be the dye, no?

maybe if you inhale some acetone remover.

Uh, It's so late!

I've got to wash the dye away and I don't know what to wear.

It's OK, when I finish with the dishes I wll put everyting in order

I don't know. She was slept in the couch with the telephone

Does she have any friend? Is she going out with anyone?

I don't know. I wish,

we are not getting along at all lately

Well, you will have to move out

Ok, as soon as I get a husband that supports me I´ll do it

If you continue lookng where you do!

What are you doing with a book from Neruda?

Don't know, maybe someone gave it to me

The first poet I read was Neruda

I read it with my aunt, I was 13 o r14

Sounds fun!

Let me see

"Joy

I was a taciturn young man

I found out your hair was scandalous

What's wrong with it? I like it!

You like such things!

At that time we used to play the game of the glass with my aunt

Really?

Well, I moved the glass!

I wrote poems, I said I was Pablo Neruda from the further away

Did she believe you?

Yes! A couple times I told her it was me, but she refused to believe me.

Anyway you could tell it wasn't Nerudas's poems.

Yah! I can imagine. What where they like?

I don't know, some stupid thing

But that was the way I started writing

Thanks to my aunt

Thanks to Neruda!

Let's go dancing, be my guest!

I had though of going to the movies

The movies, the movies?

Not, to the other one

No, I pass, I'm inviting you to dance

Come on! Lets go!

June 15th

I continue with this damn sickness, terribly porn

I have a fungal infection in my crotch with the shape of a heart

that I've tried to heal with propoleo, aloe vera

and a green bolivian cream that got me erect

and I believe it helped a bit

My current concern is Luis

I met him the day I went to the disco with Nicolás

He took me to his house, and even insisted that I shoul spend the night

But I didn´t want to

What if I started coughing and awaked him?

No, I don't like that movie!

No, not that movie

has bad energy

But we agreed to call

We were going to meet this afternoon

I left him two messages but he didn't answer

Yeah? No?

Ah! They said it was a bad one

What do you think?

I'm waiting for a call

If I got him sick?

Yeah. I must have got him the fungal infection and that's why he's not calling me

OK dear, as you say, it's OK

It's OK, it's OK

Maybe it's better he doesn't call me

No, look, you have to clean it

No, don't wash it

You have to heal it

Yes, you have to put it three days in the terrace in a container with water and salt

Yes, a container, a casserole, a deep plate

No, not a tapper because it is plastic and very dirty

Yes

No, I can't go today

On Tuesday, we'll go to the movies on Tuesday

OK, I'll continue with the explanation

Put it away from everybody, nobody has to touch it, OK?

otherwise the energy get contaminated

It is a talisman that will get useless

For instance, I have it hanging

But you can use it on the bro, I don't know, figure ti out

Hang up, Hang up!

Wait a second

Ain't you listening to me? Hang up the phone!

I'm waiting for a call. Hang up the phone!

I pay for the phone

My dad pays for it

My dad!

Ungrateful

With all the things I do for you!

Faggot!

-90% off all the scandals on the streets where we stay

are made by the sons of the well off families of Palermo

that come here to molest us, to throw stones to us and shout us all sorts of things.

Why don't they complaint about it! It's our only way of living. What do they want?,That we go out and steal?

To kill people...

Pablo Perez

Cough

Very well

Again

You have to get your CD4 up

You will start taking AZT

Eh, no I'm feeding well

I'm having vitamines, health teas

It doesn't depend only on alimentation. You know that 300 is a limit value

I won't take AZT

Lets repeat the tests in a while

Your defenses are very low and your lungs are not well

You cannot wait. You have to start treatment as soon as posible

Look, not all the medics think as you do

More that one was killed by giving him AZT

What?

I won't be your laboratory rat to see if you get the dosys right

Take AZT to hang on

Until when?

Till a new drug appears that really cures?

Take a pill to stay alive

I prescribed myself Amoxidal

and increased the dosis of Bach flowers

When the magazine was published I received several calls answering the ad.

Let me explain you

I'm a very, very pasionate guy

Finally, I made a date

I swear to you that if something I hat is to wake up in some other peoples house

I love sex, but in my house and in my bed.

He wasn't handsome, but wasn't ugly either

Do you agree?

He looked most like an allien

Let's go?

Answer from submissive man to my ad 84087

- Let's go - I'm short

What?

I'm short

So? Lets go?

Untill we got up he could have taken me anywhere

I would have obeyed

Hi, Pablito

Hi, aunt

Pablo, this is your father

How is it posible! How the hell do I do to talk to you!

If the line ain't busy this machine answers

There are some spots in the x-rays

You'll need to make some studies

What kind of studies?

A test to discard tuberculosis,

a Computer Assisted Tomography

and also a bronchial fibroscopy with a biopsy

I'd like to solve the cough problem because...

Don't worry about that

This hospital is especialized on respiratory diseases

You'd have to stay at the hospital a couple days

But, is there a way to make it ambulatory, maybe in another hospital

Yes, but it's not convenient to you

we'd lose time

coming and going

Do you have a partner?

No, I did when I lived abroad

He was also infected

He died a few months ago

OK. Shall we program it for next week?

July 12th

When Hervé died we were no longer together

Today I remembered him dying

Even when I didn't witnessed his agony

Did he let him die?

Was he affected by me leaving?

What did he do with my things? Did he throw them away?

Did he forgive me?

Did he hate me? Did he ever loved me?

I opened his notebooks

I needed to know

I only found my name next to a strange address

I didn't see him suffering

But now I can't stop imagining it

I finish with some things and we have some drinks

If you have told me I wouldn't come

Why? I wanted to see you. It's a little while and it be over.

Have a seat

Are you leaving tomorrow?

Yes, but instead of Rio they send me to Neuquen

It's only a week, anyway

Are you coming back on Sunday?

Yes, no. Monday, Monday evening

How are you doing? Everithing OK?

What have you brought me? Poems?

No, some pages from the diary. I'll leave them to you

OK, coll, I'll read them later

Something wrong?

No, no, no

Are you OK?

Yes, yes Only some tests that went wrong

Take a seat

Hadn't you find a doctor that you liked?

Yes, the one form the Ferrer hospital

He want's me to stay in the hospital to make some tests

What tests?

I don't know. A biopsy, a tomography and something else.

When are you going?

I don't know if I'll go. I don't really feel like it.

You have to do it Pablo. I'll go with you

It's on Monday

So?

Nothing. You are out, I don't want you to change your plans

What's the problem? I'll came back earlier

It's just some tests Nothing to worry about

OK, lets do it so

"TICKETS"

Take out your tongue

Say a

Lay down

How do you do?

No. Stay put

I brought you something to get entertained

Ad 33036. Franc spirit

idealist

looking for sharing pleasures

sex, friendship,

with masculine man up to 40

Me, 30, 1.73 mts, 64kgs.

skinhead

(HIV+)

I published another ad

I wanted to explain that "sexo seguro" means "safe sex" not "for sure we'll fuck"

Wasn't as succesfull as the first

Ah, look

I imagine because I wrote HIV+

Don't know, 1 cm

Only one person answered, a hairdresser

No, with a machine

When I was a child, I loved to make braids to my little sister

To gain some time, I started to answer other people's ads.

Who is this?

Pablo

I'm coming down

OK

I've just rang, I think he is coming down

Pablo

Yes

I'm Juan. How do you do?

Here comes the sheriff

We call Baez the sheriff

Ah

Hi, how are you doing?

Hi, How do you do?

You came together

Yes, we already introduced ourselves

OK, let's go upstairs

Yes, let's go

How lucky we found each other Don't you think, Pablo?

Do you want something to drink?

Yes, whisky or vodka if you have

You know, Juan, Pablo has experience

He frequented the leather bars in Paris

Yes, some friends took me to a couple of them

I lived for some time there

Did you lived a long time in Paris?

I lived... Three years

And why did you come back?

Some family matters

There are very good leather bars in Paris

The Chax, the Keller

Where did you go?

The Chax..., the Keller... No, I went to the Mec

The Mecson, yes It was near where I lived

Some bars are even better that the ones in San Franciso

Really?

I lived some years in San Francisco

And why did you come back?

As if I knew! I like to come and go

He bring us toys...

OK, Pablito, would you like to tell us what sort of things you like

What are your limits, would you?

- Yes - Yes, what?

Yes, what?

He doesn't know

Yes, he does

No, he doesn't know

Yes, he does. Yes Sir

Come on, tell us

OK, Pablito, if you don't stand something you can shout RED

Is that clear?

I think that my pasion for leather started in my childhood

I always liked the super heroes

their muscular bodies

the tight suits, their masked faces

they formed my ideal of strong and protective man

Are you still giving classes in the gas company

In the water company

This month I'm gonna get only 220 pesos

I had arranged 700

The company pays three months and the French institute does not take responsibility

On top of that I have to register for taxes, pay the social security...

Did you go to the medic?

I'm doing some tests

Do you need money?

If you can...

This month, with the aunt, we still didn't finish paying the taxes

I've being paying everything for three months now

With the money you give me, of course

I've been thinking..

about the apartment, that maybe we could,

given the location and the size of it

maybe we could get a valuation

I believe that with the money we get

we could buy two one room apartments

Not for the aunt, I do not have any problem with her

Can we talk about this another time?

Yes, sure. You have to go?

I have to go back to the office

Let's go

No, stay, stay

I'll take care of the bill

No, stay, stay

I'll send you the money this afternoon. OK?

Do you have a dog?

If you have a dog

No, thats from a friend that brought it here and forgot it

From this month on I will charge 30 pesos per class

OK, I owe you 10 for the next one

Augoust 31

I have decided to start a new chapter because a value changed and it disturbs me

CD4... 100

That means that my defenses are so low that even an angina could kill me

This month Saturn is over my house of health

perhaps my feelings are wrong

How do you do?

OK

I have the results from the tests, I wonder if you have a minute to look at them

OK, I'll go look for your clinical history and I will receive you

- Have a seat, wait for me - Thanks

Well Pablo

When will we start with the medication?

Eh, look, Oscar

I'm not taking AZT

It's a pity, because the three drugs coctel is working

Let's do this,

I prepare the papers for the medication

because the process is going to take some time, meanwhile you think about it

Reasons?

For what?

Why do yu live with your aunt?

My mother lives in a rented apartment, very small

She lives with my brother

Actually, my aunt's apartmet is also mine

You are the owner?

No, no, not me. My dad's

Half and half, but my dad supports it

My aunt has psicological problems

She doesn't work

How many brothers and sisters?

Two

My sister is dead

Cause?

Suicide

Actually, my brother is half brother

Salary?

Eh, 100, 120...

Total salary!

That would be 320

How you doing? Good afternoon

How you doing? Good afternoon

I'm sorry I'm a bit late

No problem

Your name was...?

Pablo, Pablo Pérez

Nicolás friend

A while ago I had brought you some texts

Poems

Let me see...

Here they are

Yes, I have read these

Interesting

Very interesting

But in this country poems do not sell, see

It's so difficult for an argentine writer to publush poems!

I write poems myself

Perhaps you could be part of an antology with other writers

But certeinly not this year

But we'll have you present

Eh...

I'm writing a novel too

Really?

It's a diary, actually

About?

It's the life of a writer

that have AIDS and... when he feels he's going to die

starts writing his diary

The life of a gay with AIDS...

That could cause some interest

From 300 to 500

Juan...

Sheriff

Pablito what a surprise

How are you?

José Luis, Ricardo

José Luis is the one that organized this

Ah, How much is the ticket?

Keep quiet that today it's on me

Pablo is a writer and some day he will write the story of my life

Won't you, Pablo?

Do you want to go to change?

OK

Go with him

Hello

Everyting OK?

Can I?

Yes

What, you won't share?

Really?

You, Juan

Sheriff

And that guy?

Martín? He is one of Báez lovers

He's very well

Sort of

I've been with him once

But he's not your type

Why?

Maybe in a couple years

maybe he will turn a little more interesting

Maybe you like him for yourself?

Don't you know the sheriff at all?

I'm gonna go round to take a look

In this plane we found three negative states

this is crazy

Take, open it

Do you have Martín's number?

No, I don't have Martín's phone number

But if you want I can give you his email address.

The glasses?

Down there

Pablo, you know that the sheriff doesn't like this things, do you?

it's ok sharing lovers, as long as he is present

but, he shouldn't find out

What will you tell me? That he was in jail, that he beated his wife?

that whole story?

That's what they say. How did you know?

Anyway, he doen't need to find out

As far as I know, Martín is interested in guys about 50 or older

It's OK, if you don't want, just don't give it to me and that's it

Ough, OK, Pablito, OK Pablito

I'll look for my notebook and i'll give you the email address

But, do you have a way to send it?

Yes, yes, I'll manage

OK, write it down before I regret

I'm already regreting

- Come on - Do you have...?

Yes

masterinboots,

boots from the english word boots, double oo, t, s

masterinboots@top.com

Where do I plug the cable?

Anywhere

It doesn't connect

I'm coming

That smells good

What?

A great smell is coming from the kitchen

Try it, tell me if it's OK

It's spicy, isn't it, I overdid pepper

No, it's OK, it's hot, but tasty

Lacks some salt, there it conected.

It obeys only your commands

It's slow, you have to wait

Whom are you writing to?

To Martín

Who?

Martín. A guy I met at the leather club party

You didn't tell me anything!

Didn't tell you?

No

No, because nothing happened yet

OK, hurry up

that dinner will be ready in ten minutes

"Master, I allow me to write you to tell you that I need discipline..."

">Slave "Your deductive logig works pretty well.

"I'd love to have my boots real shining. >When you call me (798 0106), you will introduce yourself saying: I'm your slave, sir"

Hello

I'm your slave sir

Who?

I'm your slave, sir

Hi, how are you doing?

Longing to be at your feet

OK, OK, but first a few questions

Who gave you my address?

A friend

A friend who?

Juan

Juan. Juan the hyena?

Yes

Yes what? Yes sir!

Yes sir

Are you alone?

Yes

And how are you? Are you lying down, in the bed? How are you?

I'm on my feet

On your feet, very well, now on your knees

Yes

Told you on your knees! Are you?

Yes, yes, yes sir

Yes sir, very good

Now take care of my boots

I'm not listening to you! I'm not listening

OK, stop it. We'll meet next Thursday in a bar near Retiro

How do I recognize you?

Actually, we've already met

You are Pablo, from the leather club. Aren't you?

Yes

How did you do the other day?

Fine, but I would have loved getting those whipping

Ah! You like to spy on people

A little

I'd like to have you here now, tied up to a tree

How I wish I were there!

Where are you?

in the backyard, enjoying a bit of the hat whether

I don't care how far we are. I can go!

No, no, dont. I live with my parents

Ahh!

Well, but I'm going downtown on Thursday anyway

I'll be free at about 10

We can meet if you want

Yes, yes, yes, whatever you like

OK, hold on that I'll go find something to write

OK

AZT, three in the morning, two at night

five

each twelve, eight and eight

nine and nine

eight and eight

Do they call it coctel to make it attracktive?

That one imagines a delicious nectar in a crystal glass with two cherries?

Just seeing the DDI tablet get me nauseous

Yesterday I waited 15 minutes untill it completely got disolved

I tried to drink it with different sodas and juices

to make it more pleasant

But I think it dissolves quicker in water

It's funny, but I love the AZT tablets

They are just like a 90's masterpiece

A riding unicorn welcomes me

October 9th

The appointment date finally came

Today I woke up early

ready to start a new life

I'm tired of suffering because of my weak health

I decided to start with a macrobiotic breakfast

That I took form a naturist magazine

I want to keep a healthy diet, feel strong.

I went to a dietitian store

and bought drinks in the supermarket

I arranged, cleaned, and shined things

and even got my aunt out of the apartmtment

Then I prepared a Valeriana and Quirquincho tale tea

a mixture that had already proved good before,

helps to make easier to wait and calm anxiety

while estimulates sexual arousement

Good

Do you live alone?

Yes, sort of

Have a seat

Would you like something to drink? Coke, or vodka or...

Or what?

Or whisky

No. Vodka, Vodka

Great

OK, I will turn on...

It's hot, isn't it?

What's up?

What do we do?

Eh?

Bring something

- Where do I change? - Over there

When I come back I want tho find you there

in the corner

Yes, sir

If he were thinking about me as much as I do think about him

he would have called me several times

I'd like to get out to buy something to eat

But if he calls me while I'm out?

Is this love?

I even feared for this diary

At least it's a relief I can go on

as long as Martín doesn't call me

And I hurry up because I suspect that if I fall in love

I wouldn't be able to go on writing this

that tries to be, on top of everyting, a diary about the seach for love,

lost of love, of desire and fear to the death.

What am I writing? Pure bullshit!

I don't know what else to write in order to distract me

Hi, Pablo, this is the sheriff I have something for...

Hi

Hi, Pablito

How do you do?

Wanting to see you

Yes, I have a lot of work these days

And what were you doing right now?

Told you. Working

You could tell me something more

Something wrong with me?

No, No

No, sorry

I'm translating an article for a french magazine

Yeah? What is it about?

Some stupid thing

Some instructions for getting a boyfriend

A female magzine, for me, for you...

No, not for me, Pablito, but sounds interesting. And? Did you met someone lately?

No, I told you, I have a lot of work

On top of that, I'm a bit sick

I think I'm going to bed now

If you want I can do some treatment to you...

Do you?

You could also rest a little from work

No, really, I've got to finish this for Friday

Really

It's a pity, because I wanted to show you some stuff I brought from the trip

And I bought you a present

Really?

Look, I'm not feeling well, really

Don't be upset

but today I'm not good company for anyone

You know very well it's not like that

I like very much being with you

Besides, I have a real surprise

And you are going to like it

What surprise?

You'll know if you come

OK, I'll take a shower and I'll be on my way

I'll be waiting

So good you came, Pablito!

You know Martín, don't you?

Yes

Well, wait for me while I change

Did you tell him?

I wanted to find you like this!

Martín!

Still!

The right or the left one?

The left one!

Very good, the little slave Very good

Very good!

Now you will have your prize

or you already want to leave?

Everything OK?

You'll stay? Won't you?

Hey!

What?

Bye

Bye

The values remain stables

we continue the treatment

Come to see me in three months

You do the tests

and then you bring me the results

OK?-

OK

Thanks

December 31st

This morning Martín called while I were working

I thought everything had faded with him

And I still think so

and that he only called me to fuck with the excuse of the happy new year

A year without love?

Come on, hurry up that my old man is waiting for us!

Hurry up!

Take this!

What are you doing with that! Take it out!

What?

- Take it out! You filthy... How can you p... - But that is for twelve o'clock!

How can you put a panty together with the food!

It's for good luck! Leave it there!

Take it out because I throw it!

- Ah! Ok! - Take it out!

- You want to fuck my year! - Yes, I want to fuck your year!

- Come on, it's late, late, very late! - OK, Don't you see that is a new pan...

Everything remains the same

None of my predictions will became real this year

Nothing bizarre happened

Unless of course

the fact that I have to continue living like something exotic

A YEAR WITHOUT LOVE AIDS diary

Pablo Pérez

HIV Positive

Leave it, leave it!

Stop, pablo

They do it to sell more

It's always like that, it's in the contract

it's only the cover it's your novel inside

I know why you are like that because they draw you an ugly lady

I look like a woman!

Ah, see, I knew it!

Come on, I invite you dinner to celebrate

Pablo, this is Juan

I saw your novel in the library

Very nice the drawing in the cover!

Congratulations! Call me

"... my aunt Nefertiti, that I dare call her Nefritis in the intimacy of my writing..."

Yes, Maceio

Hold on a moment

Have a seat if you want

Dad, what are you doing here?

Something happened? Something happend to the aunt?

No, I came to talk to you

Your aunt is in my house

She is very upset

And I am very disapointed

Why?

You know!

I am surprised you could do something like that

Why did you have to talk about family matters?

What family?

It's my story!

It's my life, no one name appears

Besides, you...

Look, we...

we helped you as much as we could

Pablo...

And with all that happened to us!

He's looking for you

I'm leaving

Yes, yes, sorry

When I come back tonight, I don't want you to see you here

This is Nicolás house, please...

Hi, Hi!

Hi, I'd like to talk to Juan

Pablo

Ah, Ok, no, nothing important

No, no I'll call him later -

Thanks

Julia, this is Pablo

OK, I phoned you to call off tomorrow's class

I'm moving and...

No, I still don't know

I'll call you as soon as I know

No, no, I'll call you

Bye

TICKETS

Good night

one ticket for the show and for the wardrobes

Thanks