Original subtitles

Wake up. Wake up.

[groans]

Where am I?

Why am I naked?

Where are my clothes?

Oh.

They got ruined when you ripped out of them.

You'll get used to it.

Used to what?

Who are you people?

Dude, it's me, Randall.

I'm your RA.

I know that! I meant them!

Oh, this is Hamish and Lilith.

And together, we are...

the Knights of Saint Christopher!

Guys, I thought we were gonna say that together.

And that's what?

Improv troupe?

- We are a sacred brotherhood. - A gender neutral collective.

Anointed to fight dark magic with the power...

Dude! We're werewolves!

And now, so are you.

Oh.

- [laughs] - [laughs]

Yeah, I get it. Townie wanted to join a secret society,

so let's make him think they...

[vomits]

Yeah, you ate a deer last night.

This isn't happening.

- This is not happening. - Oh, it's happening.

The spirit of Silverback chose you as his champion.

He bound to you, and you transformed.

Transformed into what?

A werewolf.

Dude...

try to keep up. I told them you were smart.

Silverback's been dormant for 50 years and he picks this dumb-ass?

[Randall] Jack's the real deal.

Every time I got close to that golem, he was there.

You saw me fight Clay and you didn't help me?

You were that thing in the graveyard.

- You almost killed me. - Welcome to the club!

No!

I am not going to be a werewolf.

Too late. You already are.

Look, no, it wasn't a full moon last night.

Not a thing.

- What about silver bullets? - Ah, duh. Because it's a bullet.

Take it back. Un-werewolf me.

Once you're selected, you're a champion until the day you die.

So, just say the oath and get on with it. I have class in an hour.

What oath?

"I give my life to the cause."

Fuck this and fuck you.

Hey!

- That was my robe! - He'll come around.

And if he doesn't?

We kill him.

[sharp ringing noise]

[groans]

- [sharp whisting noise] - [groans]

[man's voice] The Respondeo Incantation.

Interesting choice.

Given the number of people affected,

I thought it made the most sense.

Unless, of course, you preferred something else?

No, no, it's some solid incantation.

Reliable.

I'll admit, creating a large-scale memory shift

isn't as straightforward as it used to be.

Well, that's where Twitter comes in.

I love your new profile picture, by the way.

Will you be returning to Manhattan soon?

I have some business that'll keep me in town for a while.

I may need to borrow your temple.

I'll give it back, I promise.

[laughs]

It is at your disposal, as am I.

In that case, maybe we should throw a little soirée.

I'd love to meet the up-and-comers.

Maybe I can help put this whole golem thing behind us.

I'll put something together.

Will there be anything else?

That kid that killed the golem...

he failed the selection process.

He did.

Why did he still have his memory?

The Medicum claims she made a mistake with the powder.

Do you believe her?

Alyssa Drake is one of our brightest.

She's way too smart to drop the ball like that.

Make sure she's at the party.

[door closes]

Are you seeing this?

It wasn't a bike accident.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

[woman's voice] Better get used to it. Magic can get pretty sticky.

What happened here?

[woman's voice] This looks like a respondeo incantation.

This is nothing.

I had to scrub goat intestines from the ceiling

the first time I cleaned up in here.

We have to clean this?

No.

"We" don't.

Welcome to The Order, Acolyte. Cleaning supplies are in the closet.

Amir's shrine,

it changed because of this Respondeo Incantation, didn't it?

Maybe tutoring you won't be so bad after all.

- A tutor? - Every Acolyte gets one.

You got stuck with me for some reason.

Just lucky, I guess.

Freshmen don't get lucky with me.

And make sure you're thorough.

One speck of blood could ruin the next incantation.

I have an Ethics class, but I can be back around one...

Now, Acolyte.

Whoa!

- Watch it. - Sorry, Professor.

It's all good, Mary Anne.

You've never heard of Gilligan's Island?

I weep for your generation.

Just give me your essay.

Right. The essay that I was supposed to hand in today.

- Which obviously isn't finished. - Any chance I could get an extension?

Apologies to favors in less than a minute. That's impressive.

I'm almost done, it's just that my roommate has gone missing.

- Did he say missing roommate? - Shit. Yes.

- He did! - [lady] Missing roommate.

- Missing roommate. - I've got...

dead roommate.

Well, that doesn't count. If you can see the corpse, it's not missing.

Ah! Missing roommate! Bingo!

You owe me $20. Pay up, sucker.

I'll catch you later.

You play bingo with our excuses?

Isn't that a little unethical?

I have a PhD and you're a freshman. But, no, go ahead, school me on the ethics.

Unethical would be me telling you that my next pop quiz

is going to be on manipulative themes in Macbeth.

- Is it? - I don't know. Is it?

Careful, Jack. I know that smile. Pure evil.

Shall we retire to the ATM in the cafeteria?

Yes.

What about my extension?

Yeah, sure. Anybody desperate enough to use

"the missing roommate" excuse must need a break.

You're such a push-over.

Hey, just remember this next time you're trolling Rate-My-Prof.

- [female voice] Oh, over here. - [female voice] Excuse me. Thank you.

[glass chinks]

Dude. This is bullshit.

- You've never bussed tables before? - Do we look like people who buss tables?

Do I look like you?

If it makes you feel any better, I had to scrub the entire temple, top to bottom.

[girl] Yes, it does.

Brandon, hey, I've got another couple of loads for you. And if you don't mind,

use a little fabric softener this time.

Kyle is making me do his laundry.

Does he make you bring him tacos at 2a.m.?

Then answers the door in full Weinstein mode? 'Cause that's what Jonas does.

[Brandon] What a dick.

Jonas is an insult to dicks.

So, who'd you get stuck with?

Alyssa.

Oh, that's fair.

- Want to trade? - Not a chance.

We're supposed to be learning magic, not bartending.

Maybe they're teaching us patience.

I am very patient, just ask my roommate, who's still alive,

even though she insists on invading my personal space.

- Of course you'd go straight to murder. - It's not murder, it's feminism.

Look, I know it sucks, but...

if we just work hard and keep our head down and...

Don't fuck up.

[glass chinks]

Oh boy. Here we go.

[Vera] Tonight, we have a very special guest in our presence.

An alumni, former Temple Magus of this chapter,

and our current Grand Magus.

Our very own, Edward Coventry.

- [applause] - Thank you.

[applause]

I told Vera, no speeches.

[laughs]

Magic. [sighs]

Can you believe it?

Sometimes, I can't.

You know...

I'm so jealous of our new recruits.

You're about

to start the biggest adventure of your lives.

Part of me wishes that I could be there with you

when your first simple spell is a success.

[restrained chuckles]

Incendetur.

[clicks fingers]

[faint ringing starts]

Then there's that moment...

[ringing gets louder]

when you realize

[straining sound]

that with practice...

dedication...

[straining sound]

[Edward] commitment...

[faint ringing]

[sound of flames]

Fiats aurum.

ringing increases

...anything is possible.

[gasps]

[applause]

[applause]

There's one every year.

[laughter]

[door bangs]

[man's voice] I know that look.

Life's pretty hectic until you learn to control the wolf.

Hectic is not the word I would use.

How the hell did you get in here anyway?

Poof! Magic.

I would have heard that damn ringing.

You've already made that connection? Sweet.

I thought I was having a stroke the first time it happened.

Why the hell does it keep trying to make me change?

It's not the ringing, it's Silverback driving the change.

He hears that sound, he'll try to get out.

I need him to stop trying so hard.

'Cause I almost transformed during an incantation tonight.

Dude! You got into The Order? Why didn't you tell me?

Because it's a secret society.

This is great! Now we can't kill you!

- Why would you want to kill me? - No, I'm saying I don't want to kill you.

If you're a double agent, maybe Hamish and Lilith won't either.

Why do they want to kill me?

- Because you won't say the oath. - That seems extreme.

Werewolves. This is awesome. You'll be our guy on the inside.

Randall, hey.

You can't tell them.

It's either that, or Lilith rips your heart out.

I'm trying to save your life.

And I'm trying to come to terms with this. I need some time.

And my heart.

I'll do what I can.

But they won't wait forever.

[door bangs]

[sighs]

[man's voice] Lead into gold? Big deal.

You know, I can totally do that.

- Sure, you could. - What?

It's a simple transformation spell. That's it.

Okay. Switch it back to lead.

You know, I would, but I've been drinking, so...

Do you think we'll ever be that powerful?

[Vera] Oh, yes.

With a little luck, a lot of hard work, anything is possible.

Miss Drake, the Grand Magus would like to have a word with you.

Me?

Mm-hm.

Did he say why?

You just deal with that.

[laughing]

Are you fucking kidding me?

- Oh, that's good. - Yum-num-num.

Am I in trouble?

What makes you say that?

Just because I don't know why I'm here.

Well, then... maybe you're in trouble.

[man's voice] Vera...

stop tormenting her.

Alyssa Drake.

It's a pleasure.

Your hand.

- It's healed. - I know.

Cool, right?

I've heard so much about you.

All good, I hope.

Let's say I'm intrigued.

Meet me in the temple tomorrow afternoon. I have an interesting assignment for you.

I'd be honored.

Edward, please.

You may go now, Miss Drake.

[door opens]

She is only a Medicum

and a sophomore.

You know there's an empty seat on the Gnostic Council.

Yes, Margaret left quite a void.

And quite a mess.

I think you should take it.

We could do great things together.

I'm not sure that I'm the best choice.

Which makes you the perfect choice.

You always put The Order before your own needs.

- I'll think about it. - That's all I ask.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[door bangs]

What is a Medicum doing here?

[Edward] Okay!

Vera says that you're the ones with the most potential.

Potential

will get you into the door,

but it will not guarantee you a seat

at the table.

This obsidian block

is estimated to be between 1,500 and 2,000 years old.

But spoiler alert.

This is no ordinary...

[pings]

hunk of rock.

[muted breathing]

[bursts]

[Edward] Something is inside this obsidian that people don't want others to have.

I want you to reverse engineer

the magic protecting this stone.

DELEATUR?

Magus?

With your permission?

Deleatur!

[booms]

[sounds rise up]

Ah! Ow. Ow.

[gasps]

You know how to heal that?

Right. My driver will take you to the hospital.

Now you know what you're dealing with, impress me.

Alyssa.

Make sure the temple gets a proper cleansing.

At once, Magus.

- Now we know why she's here. - [laughs]

[door bangs]

Ladies and gentlemen, the late Jack Morton.

I know. I know. I'm sorry.

I needed to get some studying in.

Okay.

What you got on Coventry?

Ritual murders? Infant cannibalism? Please say it's infant cannibalism.

Well, he drinks Mezcal neat

and talks like he's launching a new smart phone.

Wha... That's it?

Pops, I am a nothing burger.

Layers and layers of people above me.

I killed a golem and I all I got was an "attaboy."

You've got to get on this if we're gonna blow this thing open.

Hey, I told you, no bomb threats.

It's a metaphor, sport.

And my new plan.

We're going to expose Coventry, The Order,

- the whole Megillah. - Since when is a witch hunt the plan?

Since I realized all you gotta do is get me proof The Order exists.

You know...

photos, videotape, hard evidence.

Edward will be destroyed.

He'll be lucky if he's not burned at the stake.

It won't work, Pops.

- They can time travel, can't they? - No.

But they can change the way people remember things.

You know those kids that died during the selection process?

What kids?

See?

Those sneaky bastards.

Nothing should mess with my memory except old age and whiskey.

Okay. Okay.

[Dad] We gotta be sneakier.

Tell me everything you know about these dead kids.

I know that I need to get to class.

Jack, you're in college now. You can't waste your time studying.

- Coventry is your only priority. - Pops, we will get him, I promise.

I gotta go.

Order business.

- Get me something I can work with! - I will.

When?

[Jack] Sorry, I'm late. I was studying.

Oh, no. Today I am gonna teach you how to perform a cleansing incantation.

We're doing magic now?

It's part of your training.

Relax. No one is setting their hands on fire.

Okay, now, rule number one,

no unsupervised magic.

And rule number two, all magic has a cost.

A cost? Like a sacrifice?

Sacrifice, or an offering.

If you don't pay the price, things can go wrong.

Really wrong. That's why I'm going to teach you how to use magic properly.

Pick up that mortar and pestle.

So, what does a cleansing spell go for these days?

In this case, the cost is your time.

It's nothing to worry about.

Nothing.

And you're just wanna start grinding the contents.

Clockwise?

- Counter-clockwise? - It doesn't matter.

Let me see.

That’s perfect.

Now, grab a pinch of the powder and sprinkle it onto the altar.

- Yeah. Great. Yep. - Like that? A pinch?

And I'm just gonna...

It's not hard.

That was magic?

Not so bad.

That wasn't magic. This is.

Alyssa, wait!

What?

I...

I...

[laughs]

I...

I really like you.

And...

And this is a mistake.

[Jack] How'd you do on Benson's quiz?

- I studied Macbeth. - It was on Hamlet.

Which is why I failed.

So, now I have to read that, and I still have Clarke's essay to finish.

[girl's voice] What's up, players?

You missed Psych today. Dr. Morales assigned a paper.

- Already turned it in. - How?

Hang on.

Quidquid requiritur, fiat.

[ringing sound]

I don't have change for a hundred.

Better go to the bar and get it then.

Of course. Let me know if you want anything else.

- [waitress gasps] - [glasses smash]

[cheers]

[laughter and clapping]

[waitress] Ouch.

You just paid with a drawing.

So, Jonas keeps asking me out.

I keep telling him no, because he's gross.

Then he starts trying to impress me,

bragging about this glamour spell he knows.

Says it makes life super-easy. I ask him to show me.

He wants me to carry out some gross temple fantasy first.

So, I say,

"Show me the spell, so I know it's legit."

He shows me,

I use it to make him think we already did it.

You fake-screwed your way into advanced magic?

Excuse me.

I made sweet, fake love to him.

Downside, now he thinks we're soulmates.

Upside, fifteen minutes with a Sharpie,

all my assignments are completed and I'll never pay for a latte again.

- I win. - But...

unsanctioned magic is against the rules. What if you get caught?

It's hard to be worried when you're this relaxed.

- Here you go. Your change. - Yes.

Show me.

Me, too.

Quidquid requiritur, fiat.

- [ringing noise starts] - [Jack groans]

- [ringing gets stronger] - [groans]

- [ringing] - [groans]

- [ringing] - [groans]

Quidquid requiritur, fiat.

- [ringing starts] - [Jack groans]

- [ringing] - [groans]

[groaning heard through wall]

[gasps]

Quidquid requiritur, fiat.

[ringing starts, gentler this time]

Ha ha! Woo-hoo!

Screw you, wolves!

Who needs you?

Yeah!

Yeah! I don't.

[Man's voice] Dysmenorrhea.

Severe period cramps.

- [Lilith] Have you heard from Morton yet? - Nope.

Adenomyosis.

- Did you at least check on him? - Endometrial tissue in the uterine lining.

Why would I?

- 'Cause he's an untrained, rogue wolf. - He's not a rogue wolf.

If anything, he's an emotionally unavailable wolf.

We don't know what he's up to. Or who he's talking to.

Like you weren't overwhelmed when you first changed.

- Your point is? - He needs some time.

- We'll let him process a little longer. - [ringing starts]

Seriously?

Again?

Let's go.

Quick patrol around the city.

[Lilith] 20th time's the charm.

Quidquid requiritur, fiat.

[almost imperceptible ringing]

Professor Clarke. Thanks for the extension.

Let's see if it was worth it.

"Empirical Detente.

Unconscious Experience vs Conscious Action."

- Okay. See you later. - Jack, stop.

You wrote this yourself?

Everything on that paper was written by me.

Jack.

I know freshman year can be hard, but Furzsteiger? Are you screwing with me?

- I don't think so. - I think you are.

And I love it. I mean, you're...

you're tying in physics and the observer effect?

I mean, this is incredible.

- It's not that great. - Jack, Jack, stop.

Learn to take a compliment, okay? Trust me... whoa!

Professor!

Jesus! Fuck!

Son of a bitch!

- Are you okay? - Yeah, fuck. I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Really good work, Jack.

Good work. I'm impressed.

Ow!

Fuck. I hope your bag is okay, dumb-ass.

- Move! - [crashing sound]

Wow!

Someone leveled up.

Just the essentials.

Stuff I need.

[tapping sound on door]

For example, I really need this pizza.

Quidquid requiritur, fiat.

Thirty-eight, fifty.

- Keep the change. - Thanks, buddy.

- Any time. - [man's voice] Hey! Asshole!

[bang]

- What the fuck? - I told you no anchovies!

Have you guys noticed that weird shit happens when you do a sigil?

This is Belgrave, okay? Weird shit is normal.

That is true.

This is pathetic.

We're using magic to scam pizzas and flat-screens.

You're right. Maybe we should cool things off a little.

- I like the sigils. - [girl] Cool things off?

I think it's time to turn things up a notch.

You know what I'm saying?

- Threesome. - Bigger magic.

I like her idea better.

[groans of pleasure]

Let's say a professor was giving me grief.

What would you suggest?

Your best bet would be an Interficio Incantation.

And where would I find a spell like that?

There's a book in the reliquary.

[gasps]

What's it called?

I can't remember. It's...

small and

red with a gold trim.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Is this it?

Yeah. Where did you get that?

- Shut up. - Okay.

Stop.

Why? We basically have a moral obligation to get this.

Go. Get going.

Oh, my God! We should move in together.

My dad has a place. It'd be great.

Ladies and gentlemen, Gabrielle Dupres.

Thank you, thank you.

Remind me why we haven't dealt with him yet?

Because we've been running all over town like idiots,

trying to track down whoever is doing all this magic.

Ten bucks says it's some frosh testing out their first set of tarot cards.

- I can't remember it ever being this bad. - You're kidding, right?

Every year, the new Order recruits get a taste

and start using magic on themselves.

[Lilith] It's him.

Look at him.

Yesterday he's thrift store chic and today he's Mr. Fancy Pants.

Maybe he's gotta do laundry.

No, she's right.

Those pants are fairly fancy.

How is a townie getting magic?

Yeah, I probably should've mentioned this before, but...

Jack's in The Order.

Shut the fuck up.

So he's in The Hermetic Order of the Blue Rose.

- That doesn't make him a bad guy. - They're our sworn enemies.

Which is why having an inside man

is going to be fantastic.

Besides, we don't know if he's doing the magic or not.

- We'll get confirmation. - So, we're magic cops now?

We've always been magic cops.

Fair.

[Vera] Medicums aren't allowed unfettered access

to the reliquary, Miss Drake. You know that.

I do.

- But Edward has given... - Edward?

The Grand Magus has given us an assignment and I need to do some research.

Everyone else is a Magistratus.

They don't need special permission to enter the reliquary. I do.

What kind of assignment?

I... I don't think I'm supposed to say.

Well, then, that puts you in rather an awkward situation.

It's an obsidian stone, protected by magic.

That's all I know.

And that's all I will know, unless I can use the reliquary.

Did you know

I was the youngest ever practitioner

in the Belgrave chapter to be made Temple Magus?

Yeah. That was a while ago, don't you wanna move up?

Ambition can be a valuable tool, Miss Drake.

But so can restraint.

Palm.

Accessus permittatur.

Don't let it go to your head.

Thank you.

[door busts open]

He's not supposed to change the locks. Now I have to write him up.

I think you can save the ink.

Okay.

This room is ten times cooler than it used to be.

But that doesn't prove he's doing magic.

This does.

I still don't think we should kill him.

He's smart. He got 96% on that.

He's in The Order. We can't trust him.

Silverback picked him for a reason.

- We should to figure out what that is. - Hey, hey.

Last time I checked, I'm in charge.

And I say there's only one way we settle this.

[splash]

Ha!

- Drink up, loser. - And don't spill half of it this time.

What have we become?

We're the Knights of Saint Christopher.

We're supposed to be champions of all that is good and just.

Defenders of the innocent.

And look at us.

We're letting a game of beer pong decide if Jack Morton lives or dies?

Fine.

- Best out of three? - Deal.

[Dad] Nothing now.

You've still got nothing?

Not even a photo?

[laughs]

How hard can this be?

It's pretty hard, Pops.

Magic, remember?

You know what's hard? Sitting here waiting,

knowing we finally have access to Coventry

while you lounge around with your thumb up your ass.

That's not even close to what I'm doing.

Well, maybe if you weren't so busy dressing like some preppy idiot

and studying, you might have something by now.

Something we can use to destroy him.

Or have you forgotten what we're doing here?

I never forget. How could I?

It's all you ever talk about.

You wanted this, too.

You wanted revenge for your mother.

[laughs]

- So, what's changed? - Nothing's changed, Pops.

If you would you just listen to...

You know, you're on that phone every goddamn second,

you can't get one lousy photo? Come on.

I can take a photo. I can take a bunch of photos.

Quidquid requiritur, fiat.

Here. I have been taking photos.

This is what happens.

Everyone comes out blank.

Christ!

They must be using some kind of magic to block the cameras.

Yeah.

And until I can figure out how to bypass it, we're stuck.

So, please, just get off my back.

Yeah. Sure.

Of course. I'm sorry.

You just had to do show me that.

We're good though, huh? A-okay?

- A-okay. - A-okay.

[gasps]

- Pops? - No problem.

Pops!

[gasping and choking]

- My grandfather almost died. - From a cookie.

We're talking about putting an end to Benson's pop quizzes.

You can't bail now.

Come on, Jack. It's just a coincidence.

I thought that too, but it's not.

First that waitress, then Prof. Clarke, and the pizza guy.

Alyssa said magic has a price.

And you know what I'm talking about.

I wasn't gonna cut my finger to make a $20 bill.

I knew it.

- They paid the price because we didn't. - Look.

We were stupid with the sigils, but this is a totally different spell.

We can stop Benson's stupid tests.

And think of the service we'd be providing to the entire freshman class.

At what cost?

That's the best part. It doesn't require one.

Right. It's a total freebie.

Guys.

- No. - Look.

You don't have to help with the incantation.

Just...

get the book back to the temple without getting caught.

[Jack] How? We needed Jonas to get in there.

You'll figure it out. We'll handle the rest.

Deal?

This is it.

The last one.

Yay!

What are you doing?

You're not allowed in here. You must leave. Edward will be here soon.

I was just... I was...

Doing unsanctioned magic? What were you thinking?

- Gabrielle got it from Jonas and she... - No. Stop. I don't wanna hear it.

The less I know, the better.

You're lucky I'm the one who caught you.

Something like this could get us both in a lot of trouble.

- I'm being responsible. I'm returning it. - This could have killed you.

- It's a book. - A book of murder spells!

Idiot!

[door bangs]

Damn it! You liars.

[male voice] Oh!

[male voice] Ah! Oh!

YOU LOST

FOOD

KILL JACK

Oh.

[Edward] Diego. A hand?

[door closes]

Diego has politely offered to take Selena

to hospital.

He isn't coming back, is he?

He asked to be excused.

There's no shame...

in knowing your limits.

There is something I'd like to try.

Secreta tua revelentur.

[ringing noises]

Selena and Kyle cast attack spells,

but they echoed back, so...

I tried submission instead.

Reverse psychology on an incantation.

- Gotta put that major to use somehow. - Impressive.

You already knew what spell to use.

I told you it was a test.

Is that paper?

Pages from a very old book.

I hope it's a good one.

It's remarkable.

[banging on door] Professor Benson!

[banging]

Professor Benson!

Oh, thank God.

Office hours are three to five-thirty.

I'm sorry to bother you, Professor, but I had no other choice.

Well, I can think of several other choices.

Wait, how do you even know where I live?

You geotag your tweets. Anyone can find out.

Oh. I didn't know that.

That makes you even creepier. Why are you here?

Professor, I don't know how to say this.

Oh, no. I'm sorry.

This is really not appropriate.

You're a student, I am your professor. That's all.

It's not that! No. Wait. It's not that you're not attractive.

- You are... - Know what? You need to leave.

- Right now. - You're gonna get hurt.

Are you threatening me?

[ringing starts]

Oh, no.

They did it.

I tried to stop them. I told them not to.

- Are you on drugs? - Hide!

[ringing intensifies]

[ringing]

Ah! Ah!

Oh, no.

Professor.

Oh, no. No, no.

Oh, God.

Professor Clarke.

I'm a murderer.

And you were my favorite.

I'm really sorry, Professor.

- [sound of flies buzzing] - [swatting noise]

Pants.

Pants!

I'm really, really sorry.