Original subtitles

[crickets chirping]

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

[chirping continues]

[car approaching]

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[breathing heavily]

Angela.

[panting]

Angela?

[doorknob rattling]

[footsteps approaching]

[doorknob clicking]

[intense music]

Angela.

[groans]

[music continues]

[footsteps approaching]

[dog barking]

[music continues]

[intense music]

[heavy breathing]

(male #1 on phone) 'Long distance.'

Operator..

...get me Plaza 3-6-0-9-8 in New York City

[crickets chirping]

Yes, I am calling from Arlington, Virginia.

(male #2 on phone) 'Hello?'

- Lancer here. - 'Go ahead.'

Channel D inoperative.

Direct report.

When the Premier of Western Natumba

visits the plant

they're going to assassinate..

[line disconnects]

[intense music]

[key clacking]

Hello?

He..

[doorknob rattling]

[doorknob clicking]

Lancer. Is that you?

Darling.

- What happened? - Sorry, Angela.

Thought I'd lost them, but they followed me.

Oh, never mind.

- I'll call the doc-- - There's no way.

The phone is out.

They're outside right now.

It's pitch black outside there.

Maybe you can slip across the roof.

Come, I'll show you.

Careful.

[indistinct whispering]

They'll kill..

I had...no place else to go.

- I didn't want to involve-- - Shh.

Let me take a look.

I can't see anything, it's too black

but they can see us here and I'm gonna get a coat

and we'll leave immediately.

No, no, you stay right here.

- Oh, please, let's not argue-- - No.

Y-you can't drive in these conditions.

I have to take you to a doctor, please.

[breathing heavily]

I'll go first.

[intense music]

[gunshots]

[gunshots]

Had he made any contact?

He started a message to his chief

'before I had a chance to break the connection.'

That's too bad.

We'll have to make some immediate arrangements there.

Too bad.

[instrumental music]

[bell dings]

[music continues]

[intense music]

[phone ringing]

[ringing continues]

[music continues]

[intense music]

[alarm ringing]

[alarm beeping]

[grunts]

[alarm beeping]

[beeping continues]

[beeping continues]

[crackling]

[alarm beeping]

[dramatic music]

[gunshot]

[cracking]

[gunshot]

[gunshots]

[alarm beeping]

[alarm stops]

No labels.

Nothing in his pockets except these extra clips.

[chuckling]

Prints removed from the ends

of his fingertips by surgery.

'An assault force from WASP.'

What do you think their purpose?

To kill him.

(Allison) 'With a little effort, Mr. Solo..'

...you might have taken that man alive to answer that question.

I'm sorry, sir.

They've taken, uh, three prisoners at ground level.

Have this replaced.

Hold the prisoners here, Mr. Kuryakin.

Clear the room.

(Allison) 'Come inside, Mr. Solo.'

Sit down.

(Solo) 'Mr. Allison, the prisoners.'

Illya, look.

[intense music]

They are dead.

But how?

They broke through at the agent's entrance.

A vulnerable area.

WASP has some pretty fair information about us

they knew that it took a white badge

to pass to level two.

Yes, they made the mistake, however, of not knowing

about the chemical on the fingers of the receptionist

and if she did not handle the, uh..

...badges, the alarm would go off.

How well did you know Mr. Lancer?

Not very well.

One of our agents, or was

judging by your use of the past tense.

Mr. Lancer was a very good agent.

Exceptional.

Fine emotional balance, mature.

I know how you value maturity, Mr. Allison.

Two months ago, Mr. Lancer secured a job

as a handyman at the Global Chemical Cooperation.

- You know the firm? - It's in Maryland.

One of the largest in the country.

Mm-hmm.

It's also an eastern seaboard cover of WASP.

Few months ago..

...we discovered that the president of the firm

Mr. Andrew Vulcan himself..

'...is an officer of WASP.'

(Allison) 'An hour ago, I had a direct phone call'

'from Mr. Lancer.'

He didn't use his channel?

They'd exposed him and were closing in.

He said, and these were his exact words

"When the Premier of Western Natumba

"visits the plant

they're going to assassinate.."

- That's all? - He was cut off.

Apparently, they killed him.

Also, apparently, they..

...did know exactly how much he told me.

So they were trying to kill you?

I guess Lancer passed some information to you.

'Well, we can stop the assassination of the premier.'

We can stop this attempt, not the next one.

'We must also know why they want to assassinate'

the premier of a newly independent

very primitive African nation.

The premier is over here on an economic mission.

He's in Washington, DC to inspect Vulcan's plant.

It could happen within 48 hours.

'Take over Mr. Lance's contact'

'channel D and complete his mission.'

[doorbell buzzes]

Margaret Oberon Channel D office.

It's nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here.

Thanks, my benefactor.

I was almost off for a weekend at Fire Island.

Now, I'm assigned to you.

On a 24-hour until-mission-complete basis.

Well, this label is too expensive for this

to be a shrinkage disaster, so it must be evolution.

I look to the future with new hope.

They may keep the girl off the beach..

...but she's going to get her suntan.

Well, this ain't going to slow down

the population explosion, I'll tell you that.

I'll need a transmission unit, Maggie.

Hmm. The Washington, DC area, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Take this improved A3 model.

Attach it to any electrical wiring system

whenever you want to talk to me.

It has a 300-mile range.

Mm-hmm.

What have you got for me?

Oh, not very much.

(Margaret) 'This just came in.'

The arrival of the Western Natumba delegation.

Those three men lead the guerrilla warfare

in the jungles of their country for seven years.

Last month, they achieved independence.

[projector clicks]

'Ashumen is premier.'

'Nobuk, minister of war.'

'Soumarin, economics minister.'

Andrew Vulcan keeps himself a very private person.

'That's his plant in Maryland.'

'And watch out for the private army.'

'They aren't afraid to use those things.'

How does he justify them?

(Margaret) 'They do some secret defense work.'

Well..

...that's the lot.

Plus what you can dig out of that file.

Well, thank you, my little agent provocateur.

Good luck.

Oh, um, turn over often, I like mine

medium rare, both sides.

[bell buzzing]

Ruttenberg College yearbook 1949.

- Correct? - 'Thank you.'

They have the autopsy report on the prisoners

who died this morning.

Let me guess.

The autopsy showed they swallowed something..

...before the attack.

Capsules that dissolved hours later

releasing poison into their systems.

Whether they succeed or fail

they were dead men.

WASP probably told them that it was some sort of stimulant

something to quicken their reflexes.

Who's in the year book?

Well, I'm not sure yet.

This is a newspaper clipping

dated 1949 with a picture of a sorority picnic.

"Sorority?"

Yes, it's a club for girls.

Now, there's a blow-up of the the young man

at the picnic, obviously Vulcan.

He is listed as graduating with a degree in engineering.

In the group, he appears to have his arm around a girl.

Exactly, but we don't know her name.

She's the one you use?

Vulcan apparently has wrapped himself in a protective cocoon.

No friends, no women who seem to mean anything to him.

Unapproachable.

But a dozen years ago, judging by that picture, he had a girl.

Oh.

[chuckles]

Here she is again.

(Solo) '"Elaine May Bender of Middleton, New York."'

Well, I just don't understand.

Nor do I, Elaine.

All I can tell you is that

I had a call from my bishop.

[bell ringing]

Excuse me.

Yes, uh, my name is, uh, Solo.

Reverend Anderson, you've had time

to, uh, talk to Mrs. Donaldson I believe.

- Talk, yes. Uh, understand, no. - Oh, the carpool. Excuse me.

- Oh, Danny? - I washed. Bye.

- Wait.. - He did not.

- 'Bye..' - Florie, oh..

- I'm sorry. - Ahem.

All, uh, all I can say to you is

that the bishop asked me to vouch for Mr. Solo.

In all conscience, the best I can do

is vouch...for the bishop.

Goodbye, Elaine.

Oh, goodbye.

My superior is a very close friend

of your reverend's bishop.

I thought this, uh, introduction

might save you many, uh, doubts.

Doubts? About what, Mr. Solo?

There's a flight from Middleton to Washington, DC

leaving tonight at 11:15.

I want you to take that flight..

...with me.

Well, I have to do my hair.

My husband and I are going out this evening.

Oh, this room is a mess.

What the devil sort of proposition is that?

Your maiden name was Bender.

In 1949, you were a freshman at Ruttenberg College.

'And you were, I believe, the expression'

is "going steady" with a boy named Andrew Vulcan.

- Remember? - Andy?

Well, of course.

Why, I haven't seen him since then.

- What of it? - Why didn't you marry him?

Well, I don't know, I, I..

I guess I just didn't want to marry anybody then.

And besides, Andy was so serious.

And a little strange too.

He has funny values, I mean, we were all ambitious

but...he always wanted more somehow.

Anyway, we broke up just before he graduated

and I haven't seen him since then

except in the newspapers.

Yes, uh, he heads a corporation started for him by WASP.

Oh.

Who's WASP?

We don't know.

WASP might be a man or a woman

'or a committee that heads a secret'

international organization, very powerful

and very wealthy.

WASP has no allegiance to any country

nor to any ideal.

'It willembark upon any undertaking'

it may decide is in its own interest.

And where WASP succeeds

many, many people pay a terrible price.

Oh.

A-and you, uh, w-what do you do?

I'm an agent for an organization

designated as the U-N-C-L-E.

"U-N?" Oh, UNCLE.

Oh.

You know, I've heard of that I think

I've read about that somewhere.

'Now your group wants to stop this, this WASP?'

Along with others.

Let's say that UNCLE is set up for the protection

of many people all over the world.

Oh.

Well, what's all that got to do with me?

I mean, I'm just a housewife with two children.

And a husband, don't forget him.

Well, I assure you that although you must not

tell your husband about this matter..

...he will insist that you take that plane tonight.

What?

I have very little time

to prevent the assassination

of the leader of a new nation.

Now, we can place people all around Vulcan

but they couldn't get through to him the way you could.

Only you might get close enough

quickly enough to be of any help.

Well, I couldn't.

It's preposterous.

No. I won't even consider it.

[instrumental music]

Now, uh, whatever happened to red lipsticks?

You know, this is a fraud against men.

Why? Under the new lipsticks are the same old lips.

Well, that's a comfort.

Now, let's get down to business.

Did, uh, your husband insist?

Yes, he did.

Really, getting me appointed special delegate

to the National Parents Conference in Washington.

Well, conveniently, the original delegate

became ill.

I swear, I don't know what I'm doing here.

As of now..

...you are Elaine Van Every

of Northridge, Oklahoma.

Well, what's wrong with being just me?

Well, because it will help if you're

a little more important than you.

(Solo) You see, Elaine Bender made a brilliant marriage.

You're a very wealthy woman now.

A widow. Oil wells.

Now, all of the identification you're going to need is in here.

You can, uh, transfer your personal things into this.

And when you turn in your checks at the airport

you'll get new luggage.

Here are, uh, airline tickets round-trip from Oklahoma City.

Here's picture of your home, with the detailed layout

of the interior.

Here's some list of your friends

your neighbors, and your relatives

list of your holdings, bank accounts, etc.

Oh, I'm sorry, um..

...you're going to have to give me your ring.

Why?

Well, because Elaine Van Every

would wear much more expensive ones.

Don't worry, I'll take good care of yours.

I want you to start memorizing that stuff

because I'm going to give you a very extensive test

on it's contents before we land.

Thank you, professor.

Oh, when do I take my final exam?

'In Washington..'

...when you meet Vulcan.

[intense music]

I think there must be something to this mental telepathy.

'Don't you?'

'For 60 seconds, I've been sending you'

a message to wake up, I have

your breakfast in the other room.

Look, I don't mind you climbing into my brain

but will you please get out of my bedroom?

Oh, um, French toast must be eaten while hot.

And I'm sorry to be using your cup but the lovely ladies

at the conference might have strong feelings

about a delegate ordering two breakfast settings

in her bedroom.

Just orange juice for me, please.

That's all I ever have for breakfast.

'You always eat a very large breakfast, Mrs. Van Every'

'and quite sensibly too.'

Yes. Well, I'll bet she's fat.

Adults overeat in this country.

Now, Danny and Florie, they're my children

they'll eat anything that doesn't..

...move.

(Elaine) Oh..

[laughing]

What is all this for?

Vulcan is having a large party this evening

at his estate near Arlington.

As of 8 o'clock last night, you were on the guest list.

A lot of important people are going to be there.

The party from Western Natumba, for instance.

Hey, it's all real, isn't it?

Why not? You're rich.

[chuckles]

I recommend the, uh, third dress from the left.

It's been worn once before..

...at a presidential soiree.

You'd be very flattered to know who wore it.

Oh, it's beautiful, but it's all black.

Black has never been a good color for me.

- It hasn't? - Mm-mm.

That's right, I'm supposed to be in mourning, aren't I?

- I forgot. - Well, you mustn't forget.

I've told you about the organization we're dealing with.

(Solo) They kill people the waypeople kill flies.

A careless flick of the wrist.

A reflex action.

Now, I'll protect you in every way possible

but in the end, your safety depends on you.

So don't forget who you are or what you are.

I won't forget again.

Alright.

And the premier is to inspect the plant tomorrow

so that gives us only a few hours

to stop the assassination.

What am I supposed to do at this party?

Just be there.

Let Vulcan make the approaches.

- Will you be there? - I'll be just another guest.

At the party

you are to treat me as a stranger.

Well, what if I learn something from Andy, I mean, Vulcan?

Well, if anything there puzzles you

or seems urgent, signal me.

'Now a hairdresser will be here at 5 o'clock.'

'I've checked out everyone on this floor'

they're all tourists, so it's safe to stay

in your room until 9:00.

Then, you go down to the west entrance.

A chauffeur and a limousine will be waiting there for you.

You don't overlook anything, do you?

I'd better not.

[instrumental music]

[chuckling]

Elaine May Bender.

Elaine May Donaldson.

Elaine May Van Every.

[chuckling Well, look at you.

[intense music]

[indistinct chattering]

[instrumental music]

Thank you.

Good evening, I'm Gracie Ladovan.

(Gracie) Acting as hostess for Mr. Vulcan this evening.

And you must be?

Uh, Mrs. Elaine Van Every.

- A friend of mine.. - Oh, yes.

Oklahoma. Oil, wasn't it?

And you're just in town for a few days?

Let me introduce you to a few people.

Oh, Charlie?

Over here. He's a senator.

[man laughing]

[music continues]

[indistinct chattering]

Here are our friends from Western Natumba.

The premier, Mr. Sekue Ashumen.

How do you do?

Minister of war, General Molte Nobuk.

And the brilliant minister of economy

Mr. Jean Francis Soumarin.

Elaine?

Is this your first visit to the States?

Excuse me, won't you? I must get back.

So many undesirables try to crash an affair like this.

[laughing]

Well, to answer your question.

I graduated from Dover University some years ago.

(Ashumen) This is my first visit since then.

The general has never been out of our country before.

And I have been here, there and everywhere.

(Soumarin) 'You have a lovely nation.'

But for my temperament

I prefer the English way of life.

You don't become an English gentleman

'merely by putting milk in your tea.'

[laughing]

(Soumarin) 'My friend Molte confuses manners with morality.'

He could learn a bit by reading Lord Chesterton.

Oh, I imagine you all have much more on your minds than manners.

Creating a new nation must be

a terribly difficult undertaking.

Difficult?

It's an impossible undertaking.

However, you have an admirer.

I never thought Mr. Vulcan was so shy.

- It is Elaine. - Andy!

- Elaine Bender.. - Oh.

- ...of all things and people. - Oh, look at you.

I don't believe it, in a tuxedo!

You know, there was a time when I couldn't get him

to wear even a sports jacket.

Oh, then you're old friends.

Shall we give them a chorus of the Rutenberg Rally?

Oh, let's spare them that.

Well, I've been reading about you.

You've done so well and I'm pleased for you.

And you, you're married of course.

Well, my husband died two months ago

in an accident. Uh..

Carl Van Every.

You might have heard of him.

I am sorry.

[instrumental music]

I'll be in Manhattan next Thursday.

Where will you be?

In Manhattan.

And, uh, in the book.

Until then.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

No damage friend. Hazards of war.

[laughing]

[music continues]

I find myself remembering what it feels like

to be moved by the look of a woman.

It's a luxury I haven't permitted myself in many years.

Well, I think you've missed a lot then.

Have you found whatever it was you always wanted?

Yes, but now that I've seen you again..

...I remember wanting even more.

Go slow, Andy.

There's been a gap of more than ten years.

You can't just leap across it.

Well, then, let me back up and approach again.

In a different manner.

[guests laughing]

[instrumental music]

W-what's the matter?

Oh, nothing, just, uh..

...see some party crashers.

Wouldn't be a Washington party without them.

Oh, there you are.

I wanted to say goodnight.

It's time I got down to the plant

to, uh, check the arrangement for tomorrow's tour.

Thanks for coming, Alfred.

Elaine, this is Mr. Ghist

one of our finest engineers.

- How do you do? - Pleasure.

Oh, by the way, did you notice that our..

...friends, UNCLE is here?

(Alfred) 'He's just introducing himself to our friends.'

(Vulcan) 'Yes, I wanna be sure he doesn't join us at the plant.'

- 'He'd only spoil things.' - Well, I'll see to that.

And, uh, on you way out, would you ask our friend

to be careful of what he says to his uncle?

I'd like him to avoid an argument.

I'll do that.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight.

It's one of those amusing little family feuds

and I don't want my party spoiled by a fight.

No, it's such a lovely party.

I like the Premier Mr. Ashumen.

Yes, I'm gonna build a plant for him in Western Natumba.

Duplicate of my plant in Maryland.

That's why they're going to inspect it tomorrow.

Oh, it's kind of cold out here.

Have you learned to dance in school?

I've taken lessons, but I've had no desire

to use them until just this moment.

[instrumental music]

Then tell me, are you having much success

in attracting industry into your country?

Oh, it's very difficult.

Very difficult indeed.

(Ashumen) Oh, everyone is sympathetic, but reluctant to act.

They want a lot of guarantees.

First, we throw the colonizers out

'and then we counter them hat in hand'

'begging them to come back.'

Don't oversimplify, old boy.

It's one thing to enter as masters

and quite another to enter as investors.

It's quite a coup, having Vulcan's plant in our country.

(Ashumen) 'With the manufacture of synthetics'

'we'll have the raw materials base necessary'

'for the structuring of light industries.'

Well, if the three of you work for the growth of your nation

as well as you've fought for it's independence

I'm certain you will succeed.

We will work together, Mr. Solo.

Where the needs of our people are concerned..

...we are brothers.

Well, good luck then.

Excuse me.

No, no, no, you see, you're, you're pushing

when you should be guiding.

Excuse me.

You see, it's, just in here, yes.

It's all in the right hand, like as, flat, palms spread

right beneath your partner's right shoulder blade.

Arm rigid and then when you turn, she follows.

Thus.

Oh, by the way..

...I'm cutting in.

Laugh, I just said something hilarious.

[laughing]

Now you did want to tell me something.

Vulcan knows you're with UNCLE.

He told someone here to keep you away from the plant.

Well, they are well informed, aren't they?

With, uh, whom did he discuss this?

Oh, an Englishman.

His name was Alfred Ghist.

They must know all about us.

That woman over there, the hostess

'she was on the plane with us.'

Remember all that business about the lips?

For years, I've been telling Gracie

to cut down on her makeup.

We arranged for her to get the job with Vulcan.

Job of limited use to us, I'm afraid.

Um, who is this Alfred Ghist?

Oh, he, uh..

He's over there, talking to the Western Natumba delegation.

'He's one of Vulcan's engineers.'

And he indicated that he was to warn someone else here

to be careful of what they said to you.

Did you notice who Alfred spoke to after he left you?

Oh, he didn't talk to anyone. Until just now.

Oh, I see. Well, I want you to do something for me.

I want you to squeeze a drop or two of this

into the premier's drink, but don't get caught.

What will it do?

Well, it'll probably save his life.

[both laughing]

[guests clapping]

Thank you.

You are a beautiful dancer.

I know.

You see?

Nothing to it, old boy.

What a charming man.

At least, he thinks so.

[instrumental music]

[beeping]

Channel D is open.

I have a report for number one of section one.

Acknowledge reception, please.

Report for number one of section one.

WASP has me spotted, it's possible, correction, probable

that a member of the Western Natumba delegation is with WASP.

Under the circumstances, I've taken steps

to prevent assassination attempt tomorrow.

Will confirm if successful.

[knock on door]

Acknowledge reception, please and turn off

that sun lamp before you boil over.

Acknowledged, and don't worry

I'll keep cool till you get back.

After all, there's a locked steel door

between me and the outside world.

Why don't you wait until Thursday, darling

you won't have to break down the door?

[indistinct chattering]

(Soumarin) Clear the way. Let us through here, please.

Let us through, let us through.

Please, please, friends. Don't fuss.

I warned you. You drive yourself too hard!

Has someone called the doctor?

(male #3) 'Doctor's on his way.'

I'll get your car, sir.

[intense music]

[beeping]

Channel D's open.

Report for number one of section one. Acknowledge, please.

Report for number one, section one.

Can confirm that premier will not be in condition

to visit Vulcan's plant tomorrow

therefore assassination attempt temporarily delayed.

Repeat, temporarily delayed. Acknowledge, please.

Acknowledged.

Where are you now?

I'm driving along an open country road

enjoying a cool breeze.

Don't you wish you were here?

Well, are you alone?

Drink your milk.

I will.

My name is, uh, Napoleon Solo.

I hope, uh, you don't mind filters.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Light me, please.

What are you smiling at?

Because a funny thing happened to me

on the way to my hotel.

You.

Don't shoot me.

It would take all the fun out of the evening.

If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it before.

Mm-hmm, well, we were driving then, you would've gotten hurt

now, we're standing still.

Well, where would I be carrying a weapon?

It could be done.

If you have any doubts, you better search me.

[crickets chirping]

Well, am I hiding anything?

No, I can't honestly say that you are.

Which brings me to the question, uh

what is a nice girl like you

doing in a place like that?

Lancer wants to see you.

- Oh. - I know.

You thought he was dead.

He has been wounded and he needs your help to get away.

Well, how did he know I was here?

The receiver on his pocket radio is still working.

He can hear, but he can't send.

He has been listening to all your calls.

Where is he?

On the move, he hasn't dared to stop.

But he'll meet us at my place.

I know what you're thinking.

That I could be one of them.

(Angela) That this could be a trap.

Well, I can't prove that it isn't

or that I am Lancer's friend.

'But I tell you, he needs you..'

'...desperately.'

You can believe me or not.

Well..

...I'll have to find out, won't I?

[intense music]

[engine cranking]

[music continues]

Oh, you move beautifully.

If this were a trap, you would certainly

be able to kill me before you went down.

No question about it.

You live all the way out here all alone?

- On and off. - You live here on and off?

I live alone on and off.

Oh, and at the moment?

I'm living alone.

What about Lancer?

I haven't quite made up my mind about him.

In the meantime, I don't invite gentlemen out here.

Mm-hmm, and here I am.

These are special circumstances.

Oh, then I'm not to get any ideas

about your bringing me here.

I didn't say that.

[crickets chirping]

May I?

That was terribly rude.

Sorry.

Where's Lancer?

Oh, he, he said that we are to meet him here at midnight.

We are much too early.

May I come along?

I tell you, sitting alone in the, uh, gloom

makes me a little...nervous.

I would have never thought it.

It's that way.

After you.

You know, I've often felt that I was born

several centuries too late.

I've always admired those cavaliers

they used to go slashing their way down the corridors.

Are you honestly suspicious or is it me?

Well, I tell you, I have a nervous grandmother

back home in Topeka, Kansas.

I'm afraid I've inherited some of her genes.

- Oh, are you from Kansas? - Of course. Isn't everybody?

Who goes in first this time?

Who do you want to go in first?

- You. - Of course.

I tell you, old granny, she was really unbelievable.

She used to make everybody so uncomfortable.

She was always stalking around, and peering into corners..

[chuckling]

...locking doors, making sure

that no one would steal in behind her.

And would you believe it?

Every night before granny went to sleep

she used to slash away underneath her bed

with a poker..

...looking for prowlers.

Was she ever lucky enough to find one?

No, no. That was granny's constant frustration.

But she never quit looking.

[clears throat]

And I imagine that every time she entered a room..

...she would look through the closet just to make sure

nobody was hiding there.

Well, of course not. Now, who'd do a crazy thing like that?

I think you misunderstood your grandmother's problem.

Probably she was merely looking for someone

to help her with a difficult zipper.

Would you?

Well, now, that's not a great problem, that opens very easily.

You've been practicing.

Now, what would you like me to change into?

Oh, uh, anything, but a boy.

- What? - Never mind.

Some good work here.

Yours?

I manage to make a living at it.

Someday, I will have to make a study of you..

...nude

Is that right?

Lancer's, uh, taking his time.

Yes, isn't that lovely of him?

You are sure he's coming?

Oh, he'll be here. I promise you.

[exhales]

[intense music]

Perhaps he's having trouble finding the place.

Oh, I doubt it. Why should he?

He's never been here, you said.

I gave him very specific directions.

He'll have no trouble.

- No trouble? - No.

I don't miss him right now.

Do you?

Well, I'd say, I don't have many virtues..

...but patience doesn't rank at all.

I don't like to be kept waiting.

You sound so cold now.

Well, as you said when I came in the house..

...I'm a rude man.

You weren't rude a few minutes ago.

As a matter of fact, you were..

...beautiful.

And I enjoyed you in return.

So, uh, we're even.

We don't owe each other anything, do we?

I agree.

You don't have to wait any longer.

There is Lancer.

[instrumental music]

Why doesn't he come in?

Because he doesn't know for sure that you are here.

Call to him.

[intense music]

You call to him.

But he wants you, I told you.

He will not come in unless he knows that you are here.

Well, uh, you tell him I'm here.

No, I told you, he will not come unless you call him.

[music continues]

[gunshots]

[Angela screaming]

[doorknob rattling]

(male #4) 'Angela, open the door.'

'Anything wrong?'

[doorknob rattling]

[gunshots]

[intense music]

[music continues]

[gunshots]

[gunshots]

[dramatic music]

[gunshots]

[gunshots]

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

- I'll get our car. - You'd never catch him.

Doesn't make any difference anyhow.

Better clean up that mess back at the house.

- I gotta report to Mr. Vulcan-- - But Vulcan ordered us--

I tampered with our friends car before going up to the house.

Just as a precaution.

When that speedometer hits 50 miles an hour it's gonna

contact a thin little wire..

...and our UNCLE is gonna go sleepy bye forever.

[dramatic music]

You got a half an hour to freshen up.

Then I'm coming back for you.

Oh, I wouldn't feel right going on to a night club

with Mr. Ashumen being taken ill like that.

Believe me, I wouldn't dream of leaving his side

if it was anything serious, the doctor told me

it was just a minor upset.

He's said the premier would awaken soon

and then he'll have to stay in bed and rest for 24 hours.

Well, I must get some sleep too.

I have to get up early in the morning.

Elaine..

...I want all of your time.

Don't squander it on anybody else.

I cant! I don't want to.

I, I mean it's all just too fast. I am not ready--

Elaine, I'm not gonna lose you again.

Half an hour then.

[gasps]

[intense music]

[sniffles]

You, uh...did that nicely.

This is the, um, A3 model.

The improved model, you see.

Hmm.

And, uh, this contained an X .38 automatic

also improved now at the bottom of the river.

What are you so upset about? You're doing better than I am.

I don't think any of this is funny.

You don't?

Having me put those drops in the premier's drink

without even telling me they were--

You thought it was poison.

Elaine, those drops would only make him feel ill

it'll have no permanent effect.

When he wakes up, he can go back to the party.

He wouldn't be comfortable, but he could go back.

Well, I don't care, if you didn't want him to go out

to that plaque, you should have told him

that someone was going to try to kill him.

Ashumen needs Vulcan to build

a chemical plant in his country.

He needs it like food and drink

it's survival to him.

'Right now he thinks that Vulcan is the greatest man alive'

and I can't do anything to prove different.

I can't tell how they mean to kill him or even why.

But those drops bought us time to find proof.

Now with tomorrow's inspection postponed--

It hasn't been postponed.

(Elaine) 'It hasn't, I was there, I heard them.'

Nobuk and Soumarin will inspect the plant tomorrow.

Andy insisted.

Vulcan insisted?

- Without the premier? - Yes.

Well, he said it was important.

Now, what's the matter?

Ashumen won't be along, so it's alright.

No, it's not alright.

There's something about that plant.

And I've got to find out what it is tonight.

When Vulcan gets back..

...get him to show you the plant tonight.

But he wants to take me to a night club.

And you would rather see the plant.

Flatter him, admire him and the empire he's built.

Well, I do admire him and I don't believe

all those terrible things you've told me about him.

He just isn't like that.

Elaine, if that blood you just washed off my face

doesn't impress you, then I will suggest

that you go down to the river tomorrow

and watch them fish out what's left of my car.

Oh, I don't know what to believe any longer.

And I won't have anything more to do with all this.

I won't!

You know, you forgot something, Mr. Solo.

When you said that I might stir up some old emotions in him..

...you forgot that he might stir up some old emotions in me.

You're afraid?

Of course, I'm afraid.

You bet, I'm afraid.

[instrumental music]

But not of Vulcan.

She is the one you're afraid of, isn't you?

Look at how well she wears the clothes.

And the jewels..

...she mixes with important people.

She enjoys meeting them.

Excitement of a Washington party.

But Elaine Donaldson has no place here.

Has she?

She'll have to go home.

Back to being an ordinary housewife.

You're afraid, that when the time comes..

...you won't be able to walk away

from what you see in that mirror.

You don't believe that.

[knocking on door]

[Elaine gasps]

Alright, when you get down to the lobby

ask him to buy you some cigarettes

stall him there for 15 minutes.

- No. - I need 15 minutes!

[knocking continues]

No.

Open the door.

Now.

[Elaine sighs]

Oh!

[knocking continues]

- Ready, darling? - Yes.

Operator, get me the airport.

Vanguard Air Charter Service.

[intense music]

It's Mr. Vulcan.

(Vulcan) 'Now you must admit, this is a unique way'

'of entertaining a beautiful woman.'

I don't mind.

Gives me a chance to get caught up quickly

on what you've been up to all these years.

Very well, the tour begins.

(Vulcan) 'Now, there you see two of our largest reactors.'

'Each one turns out 20,000 pounds an hour.'

Here are our loading platforms.

Daily we ship hundreds of tons of plastic components

by rail, to all parts of the country.

'These are our research, development'

and new products buildings.

[intense music]

In these vats, are chemicals

used in the new plastic compounds.

Here, in effect, is where we store the future.

I'll show you some results in the new products area.

He's impressive.

(Elaine) 'What's behind that door?'

(Vulcan) 'Oh, that um, that contains'

'a highly complicated reactor'

used in the infusion of new plastics

under tremendous pressure.

Products are very experimental, highly unstable.

There's always a danger of an explosion.

I hate to admit it, but I'm exhausted.

There's only another three or four thousand acres to go.

Ah, well, I did ask for it, didn't I?

I like that.

I like that you're interested in what I do.

This is of no importance whatever to me

what's important...is you.

[airplane droning]

Look!

[intense music]

What's he doing?

Get the dogs over there.

And call security.

You wait inside, I'll be right back.

(Vulcan) Stay alert. There's an intruder on the grounds.

Just finished.

There's someone on the grounds.

Seems quiet as a grave here.

Lovely night for work. Here, look.

Just a hairline.

Pretty neat job.

If you're finished, let's clear out of here

and seal this room off until tomorrow.

We have to find our intruder.

[intense music]

[dogs barking]

This is what the parachute brought down, sir.

A diversion.

Why?

To allow somebody to get to the reactor.

And I led him to it.

[dogs barking]

[door opens]

This door was sealed off, when we left.

(Vulcan) But I want it double checked.

For any place where an intruder could hide.

Any place!

[dogs whimpering]

Mr. Vulcan wants you.

Hey!

[gunshots]

[dramatic music]

Stop him!

[gunshots]

Be careful of your target!

The place is loaded with hydrogen!

You'll blow us all up!

[dogs barking]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[gunshots]

[gunshots]

[dramatic music]

[gunshots]

[dogs barking]

[music continues]

[dogs barking]

[barking continues]

[gunshots]

(Elaine) Come on!

This way, quick!

Oh!

[dramatic music]

[panting]

[intense music]

Alright, when we get to that car

get down on the floor in the back

I may have to crash through the gate.

Alright.

[intense music]

[Elaine gasps]

Pardon me for not getting out of the car.

Whatever it was you gave me

has left me still feeling a bit weak.

- We only meant to help you! - What are you doing here?

It was only as I fainted that I realized that it was..

...you who had handed me my drink.

'When I awoke and was told that my good friend Mr. Vulcan'

had brought you here tonight..

...well, I hastened to warn him immediately.

But you don't understand, they mean to kill you!

[intense music]

I think we all understand now.

Too late, I believe, Mr. Solo.

You see, no one intends to kill me.

It's Soumarin and Nobuk who have to die.

[intense music]

Were there signs of any others?

No!

Just these two.

[thwacks]

Hold it!

I prefer Mr. Solo without bullet holes in him.

(Ashumen) 'Why should it matter?'

(Vulcan) 'For several reasons.'

First one being..

...that they would die too quickly.

Follow him.

Well, I'm sure you'll find this

a lovely place to spend the night.

'Uh, and it's, uh, soundproof.'

Uh, come over here, Mr. Solo, you're about to be

chained to a pipe.

Now, up you go.

You know, this comfort will last approximately

an hour and forty five minutes.

When we leave, the room will fill with steam.

Death will come rather slowly.

But then, uh, you're a patient man, Mr. Solo.

And you must have been patient, Mr. Ashumen

to have posed as the patriot all those years

while you set your country up for WASP to take over.

WASP is my country.

Ah!

Well, so WASP achieves respectability.

Congratulations, Mr. Vulcan.

With WASP, the government..

...and with all privileges attendant

'diplomatic immunity, industrial potential'

armed forces at our disposal

we achieve a great deal more thanrespectability,Mr. Solo.

But Nobuk and Soumarin, they would oppose it.

They are two dedicated..

...intensely patriotic men

who will emerge as martyrs.

Victims of an unfortunate accident

while negotiating ways to better

the lot of our people.

'I will erect statues to their martyrdom.'

Mourn their loss.

Rule...in their names.

Oh!

The explosion should take place at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning.

'You will return here and arrange for their bodies'

'to be discovered in the fire which follows.'

You'd best leave through the tunnel.

I am sorry for you, madame.

[hissing]

Goodnight, chums.

[dramatic music]

Sorry.

Oh, you were very clear about the risks involved.

I understood them, and I accepted them.

No, you mustn't blame yourself.

Well, of course, I don't blame myself.

It had to be done.

[intense music]

[music continues]

[intense music]

[music continues]

[hissing continues]

[thumping]

[thumping continues]

[music continues]

Stop it!

[thumps]

I've got to break this sealing compound..

...to get us down from here.

[grunting]

[grunts]

[hissing]

Look.

'Look!'

[music continues]

[thumping]

[intense music]

[Elaine screams]

[both grunting]

[Elaine gasps]

Oh.

[both panting]

[sniffles]

[crying]

They never saw me.

Danny and Florie they..

...they never saw me.

My husband.

They always saw me so ordinary.

Always clean up and pick up

and run the carpool..

[sniffles]

But you saw.

[crying] When...when I walked into that room

everybody looked, didn't they?

I mean, they all looked at me and they, they admired me

all those glamorous people. Didn't they?

You were the most beautiful woman there.

[sobbing] Oh, now look at me!

Look at this dress..

...and my hair.

Oh, it's all ruined now!

And they never saw me.

My family never saw me.

[crying]

Oh!

[clears throat] You dropped this.

Oh, thank you.

[laughing]

[both laughing]

[watch ticking]

They'll be here any minute.

[water gurgling]

Sure you're gonna be able to hold yourself up there?

- I'll manage. - Alright.

This way, gentlemen, we'll take a closer look.

Now, whoever comes in first, they'll see you hanging there.

That may give me just the moment I'll need.

Now, gentlemen, I think you'll find this interesting.

I'm gonna put the reactor

through a typical pressure cycle.

[dramatic music]

[clanks]

[hissing]

[music continues]

[intense music]

[keys jingling]

- Get out of here, quick! - But what about you?

- I'm going up there, go on. - Oh.

[whirring]

[intense music]

Hurry, get out of here, everybody.

This thing is going to explode!

(Solo) Come on, move out!

[screaming]

[hissing]

[man screaming]

[explosion]

Alright, let's get out of here!

[explosion]

[coughs]

Ashumen! Did he get out?

Ashumen!

[explosion]

[Elaine coughing]

[intense music]

[coughing continues]

[explosion]

[instrumental music]

[coughing]

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

Oh, yes.

Here, thank you.

No regrets about Mrs. Van Every?

No regrets.

Maybe, um...just one?

There's a gala ball at the United Nations next week.

This is an invitation for you and your family.

'There's a suite reserved for you at the Waldorf'

an exquisite gown, not black, will be waiting for you

and the loan on the jewelry, and a hairdresser.

Well, you did say that you wanted your family

to see you the way you looked last night.

Thank you. But no.

No, I had my big moment.

'Last night when I was..'

...well, maybe something I always dreamed I might be..

...but it was a dream, a memory.

It has no right to be anything else.

I'm content to go home right now.

A mother would never come home from a trip without presents.

This is a doll.

And a build-it-yourself radio.

And for him, a sweater.

It's his size, I absolutely guarantee it.

Thank you. You do think of everything.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Aren't you getting off, Mr. Solo?

Hmm? Mm-mm.

'There'll be an hour delay before'

'we return to New York.'

'You could stretch your legs.'

[chuckles] No. Thank you.

Would you like some coffee?

- No, no, no. - 'Something to eat?'

Mmh.

Is there anything I can do for you?

Um..

Well, uh...as a matter of fact..

[instrumental music]

[music continues]