Original subtitles

-Christian. -Are you anywhere in the Smoky Mountains?

-Birch Mountain Resort. -Shit!

I think she's got you.

I'm sorry, Letty.

I told you to disappear.

Drop the gun. You're under arrest.

FBI.

Letty.

Let him go!

This was not the plan. Let her go!

Accessory to attempted murder.

That's 30 years,

15 with good behavior.

Be lucky if I ever see Jacob again.

You will see him.

That'll be up to him, won't it?

Right when we got him into school, too.

We almost made it work.

Story of my life.

Thanks, Mom.

You were talking to Letty the whole time, and you never told me.

No, there was nothing to tell.

She didn't tell me where she was.

She just told me that she wasn't with Javier.

And, by the way, vacation?

-Your cabin? Impressed? -No.

Are the windows tinted?

-Probably. -I'm an FBI agent.

And now you know how good an FBI agent I am.

Can that guy see us?

-Now I know how sick you are. -Okay.

Do you know him?

His name is Teo.

He was my friend, growing up in Buenos Aires.

What is he doing here?

Probably trying to kill me.

Come on, Woodhill.

I'm not doing this again.

Shotgun for your trouble?

We know someone wants to kill me.

And we know it's whoever killed Silk.

Well, nobody can touch you now.

Don't ever call me.

Don't ever show up at my house.

I don't ever want to see you again. Do you understand me?

We're both going to Asheville, dude.

What are you gonna do Uber alongside?

Open the back door. I want to say goodbye to Letty.

Get in the front and ride with us.

Open the door!

I'm so sorry.

I had no idea.

It's okay.

Come with. There's a bar.

You heard her. Come with.

Please help.

I thought we were on vacation at her cabin.

Turns out it was an Airbnb.

She told me that her mom used to give her baths in the kitchen sink...

...when she was a baby.

What kind of a person lies like that?

I lie like that.

But you're not mean.

Thanks.

She is so mean.

I'm sorry, Letty.

I can't stay in this car.

So you're finally giving up on me.

No. Never.

But what can I realistically do?

Just be here.

Okay.

Well, if you have to go back to jail,

it's very Letty of you to be driven in a limo.

Seriously, what is this thing?

I don't know.

She says she doesn't like the basic shit that the FBI gives them.

So, you've been arrested.

And if you're watching this,

you've been arrested by me, Special Agent Rhonda Lashever.

You are my prisoner and I am your captor,

but if you follow my simple rules,

your voyage into the criminal-justice system...

...will be as safe, smooth, and painless as bacon through a goose.

What the fuck?

Got to say, I wasn't sure about the whole stalker plan,

but, damn, it worked.

You don't have to tell me things I know.

Sorry. I just mean it went really well overall.

Considering you just had me.

-Are you trying to take credit for this? -No, sorry.

Because in case you haven't looked in a mirror, you got beaten up.

Props for that tattoo, though.

-Looks legit. -Yeah.

-Yeah, they said it stays on for a month. -Yikes.

Hope it doesn't peel off little by little.

Won't be cute.

Shit.

Did you just slow down because of a little rain?

I'm not great with bad weather.

So you're an FBI agent, but only if it's nice outside.

If we get into an accident, they could run away.

You're going 15 under the limit!

It...

I was stuck by lightning when I was 12, okay?

That explains your narcissism.

Step on the gas.

This concludes my advice and your instructions.

Ignore at your own expense.

Love you, Mary Ann!

Had you there for a second. Yes, I did!

Let the bachelorette weekend begin!

I can't believe she's the reason we're going to prison.

Well, she's not the reason.

Had you for a second.

Not really.

But I like your car.

Not a car. It's a Sprinter.

I like your Sprinter.

Luxury conversion by moi.

Hashtag SprinterLife.

I want one.

I don't see that happening, Ms Raines, do you?

You're in charge.

I am, and I don't see that happening.

How come Antonio Banderas is so quiet?

He's never been to prison.

Which is a miracle, considering how dumb he was to buy a gun...

...and then carve his name into it.

It was a Christmas gift.

Sure it was to yourself.

If you know what you really want for Christmas,

you got to get it for yourself, right?

This is what I got for myself.

Sound machine.

You ever think about getting a gun that says "hit man" on it?

Jesus Christ, Agent Backup.

You're responsible for some very precious cargo,

and all of the people inside of it.

I think you should thank the lane-departure warning system...

...for handling your untreated weather PTSD.

I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about that in front of other people.

The rest of your life will appreciate it if you see a therapist.

Wait, "Agent Backup"?

I have a name.

And nobody wants to know it.

How long have you guys been partners?

Are you kidding? We're not partners.

Agent Backup just graduated from our training program...

...a couple of months ago.

So he's kind of like one of those sad newbies...

...who stands behind the waitress,

or a baby pony who hasn't quite figured out how to walk,

stumbling around, easily startled,

marking time by the distance between nursing sessions.

I cannot believe you did this.

Rob, just pack.

Do you have the keys for both cars?

Yeah, but how could you not talk it out,

hear his side of things?

His side of things is that people pay him to commit murder.

See? Now, that's your interpretation.

But maybe he's like Batman or something.

Like a good bad guy.

Yeah, I'm sure that's what Letty would say.

Well, now you have to visit her in jail to ask her.

That wasn't supposed to happen. She did that to herself.

I swear, she is the dumbest smart person I know.

Give me the keys to the silver.

You drive theirs.

Diesel!

Oh, shit. Sorry.

You work for the FBI.

If you can't follow simple instructions,

I suggest you go into the bathroom and take a hard look at yourself...

...in the polished-aluminum paper-towel dispenser they have...

...instead of a mirror.

I don't think this is a real thing,

like it was the first time she tried to get you.

How is it not real?

Where's the SWAT team?

Lashever, an intern, a prom limo?

Javier's her white whale.

I'm who?

Her white whale. It's from "Moby Dick."

It's your biggest sworn enemy,

the arch-rival you can't defeat, stands in the way of everything.

And that's me?

Woodhill.

Let's check out the jerky situation.

Close the door.

If this was a real job,

she would've taken us to the closest prison.

If I am her white whale,

she wants to show me off at the office in Asheville.

I'm sorry, but you're not a big-enough deal to be a white whale.

There's got to be something else.

-I'm serious. -I know.

You never give up.

Are you giving up?

I am in handcuffs, and I am not a magician.

You're not a magician, either.

Letty, when we go to prison...

There's got to be a way out of this.

When we go to prison, they will ask you to testify against me.

-No, no. -And you should.

Why would you say that?

Because I am thinking about your life, and I'm thinking about Jacob.

So am I, and the last time I had to choose

between you and Jacob, I got both of you.

Well...

Lightning doesn't strike twice.

Yes, it does.

It doesn't strike in the same place twice.

We are in the same place.

What do you want?

Just a sparkling water.

What do you want?

Coconut water.

Pink Gatorade.

And a Mountain Dew Code Red.

I appreciate you babysitting those losers back there.

They're not...

Look, I don't know Javier,

but Letty's not a loser.

Yes, she is.

She's the reason Javier got away from me the first time.

You don't know that.

Oh, I have a strong feeling I do know that.

I think she interfered.

-I think she tipped him off. -You have no proof.

I have proof she pulled a gun on me.

Okay, and that's not good,

but do you think you could take a step back?

Isn't this all about Javier?

Do you really need to be putting Letty in jail?

Do you have a thing for her?

"A thing"? No.

What kind of thing?

A thing for taking care of lost causes because that grosses me out,

and I seriously don't need that.

I'm not a lost cause, so if what you want is a lost cause,

I think it's probably a good idea we're breaking up.

We're already broken up. I broke up with you.

Fake news.

Get some Corn Nuts and meet me at the jerky.

I think you should call Lashever.

The FBI agent?

She's cool.

We bonded over "The Bodyguard," so she's not a monster.

You know, maybe she'll let Letty go.

She won't.

I tried.

You saw me clawing at her when she took Letty into her van.

You can't stop trying.

I've been trying since she was born.

Look, babe, I know you better than anyone, okay?

And I know you're lying to me.

And that's okay, because I know why you're lying to me,

'cause like I said, I know you better than anyone.

What you're dealing with is...

Look, there's, there's two parts to the brain, all right,

the conscious and the subconscious,

and while you are consciously wanting to get your daughter free,

the other part,the sub part

is actually worried about what she'll do on her own,

seeing as how every time she gets out of prison,

she seems to get herself back in again.

But even deeper than that,

what you're wondering about in the sub-subconscious

is whether or not all these impulses that Letty suffers from...

...are really due to her childhood and how you raised her.

I guess what I'm trying to say...

...is I don't really think that you're mad at Letty.

I think you're mad at yourself.

Hello?

Hello?

Hi. I lost you.

What? Where'd you lose me?

I was making my point.

You said you know me better than anyone.

Shit.

You missed my whole damn speech!

Sorry, I must've gone through a dead spot.

Well...

Now I lost the thought.

It'll come back to you.

This way, please. The road is closed.

It's not safe up ahead. There's a huge amount of flooding.

Thank you, officer.

Hold on!

I'm transporting two very dangerous prisoners,

and I assure you,

this vehicle is capable of fording the river.

Sorry, ma'am, the road's closed.

-How long before it's clear? -No idea.

How deep is the water?

Three feet.

Not an issue for this vehicle. We're going through.

Move the...thing.

I need to run this by my supervisor.

Go up there, tell her this is dangerous.

Her car could be wrecked, we could die. whatever you need to say.

-Letty. -Just do it.

Hi, isn't this a little dangerous?

I think we should do what the cop says.

I outrank cops. Cops have to do what I say.

Your video said this journey would be smooth, safe, and painless.

You still think that video was real?

I think we should just turn around and grab a motel for the night.

What is your problem?

You afraid of a little mud?

No, but...

Tow truck.

Accident.

Embarrassing.

All I'm saying is that God forbid something should happen to your van...

...and it has to be towed in.

How would that look to everybody in the office?

-Sorry, Agent Lash... -Where's the closest motel?

There's a Motel 6 and Holiday Inn Express a few miles back.

Roll up the window, turn around, take us to the HIE.

You ever have the cinnamon rolls at HIE, Javier?

Can't say that I have.

Thanks.

Welcome to the Holiday Inn Express.

Do you have a reservation?

You don't need to give me the whole spiel Flash.

I am a founding member.

Of what?

Of HIE rewards.

Two rooms adjoining, make mine the handicapped suite.

The... I'm sorry, we don't have any suites.

All of our rooms are the same.

Let me let you in on a little secret, Flash.

The rooms for disabled guests have larger entryways,

bigger bathtubs, and other amenities.

Insiders call it the Presidential Suite which you...

Holy shit.

Don't overreact, Flash.

This is classified, FBI, you know, protocol.

Are they dangerous?

To me, no.

To you, yeah.

Just look what they did to that idiot.

Don't worry, Flash.

As long as I'm here, the franchise is safe.

What's happening?

We got a flooded road up ahead and a fallen tree about a mile back.

It could be a while. Do you have food?

We need to get through here.

No can do.

Please pull up and park like everyone else is doing.

Why can't we just go back?

Tree fell down.

We just came from that way. We didn't see any tree.

Since then.

Why is it impossible to turn on TVs in hotels?

Because drinking makes you bad at things?

Sometimes it makes me good at things.

Spoken like a true alcoholic.

Yeah. You don't drink?

Never had a drop.

Is there any way I can get a martini?

You're joking, right?

I never joke about drinking.

Help me, Rhonda.

This is our last night of freedom.

Don't we get a last meal?

You're not being executed.

It feels like we are.

Good.

What would you want?

Vodka.

Me, too.

Me three.

We're stuck for the night.

They're in handcuffs.

What's the harm in a couple martinis?

One martini each.

Oh, my God.

Don't swear.

Just go out to the Sprinter and get the stuff from the bar.

What stuff?

Have you never had a martini?

He doesn't drink.

Are you serious?

I don't drink. That's a good thing.

Take Ms Raines with you.

She's an alcoholic. She'll know what to get.

I'll watch Javier while you're gone,

but I want to take a bath, so make it quick.

Christian, you're on ice.

If you'd run, I would've shot you.

What am I getting, again?

Vodka.

Vermouth, the dry kind.

Wait, one thing at a time.

Hey.

Hey.

The keys to the handcuffs are on the backup guy's belt.

And?

And maybe you can get them.

And go to prison with you?

I'm just thinking about Letty.

Oh, really?

At what point did you start thinking about Letty?

What do you mean?

I mean nothing gets past her.

So how is it that a savvy woman like Letty got dragged into your bullshit,

with your chosen profession?

If you really love someone, let them go, right?

I tried.

Maybe you should've just done it.

Look...

I know I'm going to prison for the rest of my life,

but if Letty goes back in, I don't know if she will be okay.

So can you talk to your girlfriend and convince her to let her go?

It doesn't work that way, dude.

She may be a little crazy,

but she's still an FBI agent.

She can't just take a person into federal custody

and then let them go.

There are laws.

But I did try.

Set all this up in my room.

The handicapped sink doubles as a wet bar.

Look at you.

Tom Cruise in "Cocktail."

Could you unwrap those cups?

Tom Cruise wouldn't have asked his customers to do any of the work.

If you uncuff me, I can unwrap them.

That's very clever, Ms Raines.

Every time you say "Mrs Raines," it's like my ears are being raped.

Ms Raines.

Remind you of getting drug tested?

We have a one-drink maximum here at Lashever's Liquor Emporium.

That goes for you, too, Agent Backup.

I'm sorry, but I'm not drinking.

Most favorite and least favorite prison?

Only a person who's never been to prison would ask that.

Jesus, Rhonda.

It's not a time out, it's prison.

People lose everything.

You don't think I get that?

Actions have consequences.

She's had too many slaps on the wrist.

Time to up the dosage.

Federal prison will be good for you.

You'll come out better.

I never come out better.

I've only been better since...

If I go back to prison, I'll never really be good.

I'll only ever be managed.

Oh, my God! Holy shit!

Oh, fuck me!

What the hell is that?

I think it's a sign.

It is.

At least we have another room.

But it's not a presidential suite.

I think we'll survive.

He might not.

Back up!

Say something.

He needs a drink.

Shit, he's like Cameron in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

Drink. That's a direct order.

Can you take another sip?

This is why I never wanted to be a mother.

Come on.

Drink up.

Hey, do you want to play a game?

It's a fun drinking game. Come on.

No.

He speaks.

Keep going. Make him play.

I have my pilot's license.

I'm an amazing cook.

My middle name is Diego.

Which one is the lie?

You don't have your pilot's license.

Yes, he does.

So now you drink.

-Can I ask you something? -No.

I am not circumcised.

My name is Stewart.

Stewart.

How do you afford that tricked-out ride on your FBI salary?

You don't know what I make.

I know it's a government job.

You know how much money we confiscate every year from criminals like you?

But you don't get to keep it.

No.

All it does is collect dust in sad closets.

Most people spend all their money on children.

I spend it on luxury vans.

I am an amazing fisherman.

I am an amazing handyman.

I am an amazing hit man.

You're not an amazing fisherman.

I am an amazing fisherman.

Yep.

-Drink. -Drink.

If the FBI were a private corporation,

the agent who takes down a criminal,

agent responsible for a raid would get a piece of the pie.

So just go take some.

No wonder you always get caught.

Actually, I almost never get caught.

I stole 11,000 dollars at that hotel yesterday.

That's not even why I'm wearing these.

You did not.

I totally did.

I'd be mad, but I've already got you.

And it's not like I'm gonna get any of the money.

In Mexico, the cops get to keep the money.

Isn't that right, Javier?

I'm from Argentina.

Nerd alert.

My turn.

I used to be a parole officer.

I was a professor.

I'm an actor on NCIS.

You were definitely never a parole officer.

-Yes, I was. -He was mine.

Drink.

Javier can't be tha bad.

I got a guy in my family who kills people.

He doesn't get paid for it.

Who is this guy?

His name is Clark, but he calls himself Gerald,

and he does it because there's a man that lives in his leg that tells him to.

But my point is, Javier isn't like that.

In fact, I've never met a less-disappointing person in my life.

That's not a great argument, Rob.

Maybe you could write a statement...

...like a recommendation to the judge or whoever does their sentencing...

...and explain who Letty and Javier really are.

It's too late.

You could at least try.

At least try for Letty.

She was an innocent bystander.

That's your daughter.

I'm going to sleep.

Go.

No.

Go now.

Jacob.

Go.

-Ms Raines? -Oh, shit.

Stop!

So sorry to bother you,

but the storm caused a sign to crash through the window

in your other room.

We know, Flash.

Very, very sorry.

We'll be fixing it all up as soon as we can get a crew up here.

I just got word the road is opening up, so it shouldn't be too long,

but if it's not too much trouble, I can move you to a different set...

...of adjoining rooms on the first floor, right away.

-The road is opening back up? -Yeah.

That's the information you start with.

Pack up. We're leaving.

Jesus Christ.

Flash?

It's me.

You've got two FBI agents, two criminals,

and an ex-parole officer stuck in an elevator.

No, this is not the beginning of a joke.

This is your hero moment, Flash.

Maybe it's meant to be.

Give it a rest, Letty.

You called me Letty.

Give it a rest, Ms Raines.

I'm not letting you go.

I'm just saying, it's what, 2 in the morning?

If we drive back now, we get to Asheville in a couple of hours.

Who's gonna be at your office at 4 AM to see you bring us in?

There's no glory in that.

If we can sleep here, at least you get to parade us in at a normal hour.

Plus, we get to have the cinnamon rolls in the morning.

I am back on sugar.

What's your problem?

If the roads are open, we need to go.

When the power comes back on, we're obviously leaving.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize making unilateral decisions...

...was part of the job description in the promotion you just gave yourself.

Wait, what?

Ms Raines makes a compelling argument.

Ms Raines, have you ever unraveled a cinnamon roll...

...and eaten it like a Fruit by the Foot?

Every time.

You've got to be kidding me.

We're not rushing a contract killer to prison...

...because a con woman just talked you into eating frosting for breakfast?

I'm calling your superior.

You're not calling anybody.

Hey!

I am your superior.

You're a joke!

I know it, everyone at the office knows it,

and I think even you know it.

Your entire career's been a silly string...

...of low-level bullshit and high-level failures.

You only go after the medium-level criminal element...

...because that's the only way to set yourself up for a win,

and even then, you can't get it right on the first try.

You have an ego the size of your fucking car,

but not a single stat to back it up.

I'm not even sure you care about justice at all,

just a government badge that allows you to be a professional asshole.

Listen to me.

I am your superior.

In title only.

When I've put as many years into the Bureau as you have,

I'll be tearing down real criminal organizations,

and I'll actually get a budget to do it.

I won't chase my little obsessions...

...between masturbation breaks at the cheap desk...

...in my windowless office...

That was for every millennial asshole in your office...

...who has no respect for his esteemed superiors!

You guys okay?

I'm so sorry about...

We'll take those two new rooms, Flash.

Maybe this is better.

To be in prison instead of being killed by whoever wants me dead.

You won't survive in prison, either.

No?

You're too pretty.

Pretty eyes, pretty mouth, perfect chin.

The best head of hair I've seen on a man over 30.

I'm sorry I kidnapped you.

I'm glad you did.

Will you survive?

Like you said, I'm not a magician.

Agent Lashever!

What are you doing?

Hey, Agent Lashever!

What are you doing?

How may I fucking help you?

Let her go. She didn't do anything.

She held a gun on me, and I work for the government of America.

I will give you a written confession of every murder I've committed,

every job I've done.

Stop. No, you won't.

I'll tell you who hired me, who helped me dispose of the bodies, everything.

Seriously?

Only if you let her go.

He's bullshitting you. Don't listen to him.

I will give you everything.

Epically romantic gesture there.

Got to hand it to you.

Not gonna happen.

-I know what this is about. -What?

You want to screw me over because I screwed you over.

The first time you planned a sting on Javier,

you think it went sideways because of me.

I do think that.

You're right.

Another reason to not let you go. We settled, then?

No, you shouldn't let us go, but you shouldn't bring us in, either.

Much as we like the HIE, Ms Raines, we can't stay forever.

What you really want is revenge on the FBI.

It's easy to get revenge on us.

We're criminals.

You have the handcuffs, you have power, but you don't hate us.

-Yes, I do. -No, you don't.

You don't have to admit it, but you actually kind of like us.

This is some real circular bullshit.

No wonder you've come so far in life.

Not as far as you have.

But you thought you'd come further, though, right?

Letty, what are you doing?

Who you really hate is the FBI.

They've kept you down, they've managed you, made fun of you.

Why are you trying so hard to impress them?

You need to drag them down instead.

What are you proposing?

You told me about all those money raids you do, right,

and how all that cash just ends up in sad closets...

...and how you should get a piece of it.

Please don't try to sell me...

...on how you can Ocean's Eleven your way into...

You raid that money before the FBI does.

Then those assholes will be shamed and humiliated...

...when the cash isn't there.

Plus, you won't just get a piece of it...

You'll get all of it.

And you know what the best part is?

What's the best part?

You don't have to lift a finger.

We'll do all the work for you.

You just tell us where and when.

If only we didn't have the little problem of Training Wheels over there.

Actually, I had some thoughts about that.

What the hell?

You screwed up, buddy.

What...

Am I...

They escaped, due to your unbelievable incompetence.

I don't understand.

Criminal man and criminal lady in restraints,

now not in restraints.

You in restraints. You bad at job.

-Your boyfriend punched me out. -Oh, no, he didn't.

You got black-out drunk because you can't deal with bad weather.

I never drank a whole bottle of tequila.

Afraid you did, while on the clock, which is how they got away.

This isn't real.

Oh, this is very real.

I'll let the home office know, and hopefully someone can come get you...

...before housekeeping arrives.

Well, why can't you just take me back?

Because our escapees took the keys to the handcuffs with them.

Smart move on their part.

Also I don't want the stench of your failure...

...funking up my Sprinter.

It's impossible to get failure out of upholstery.

Who's the joke now, asshole?

You good with the plan?

If I have any questions, I'll call you.

But if you skip out on me, I will find you, and I will destroy you.

I know.

Bye, Letty.

Bye, Christian.

Love you.

Love you.

Holy shit.

Hey!

Hey.

How'd you get away?

If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.

What about Javier?

He wasn't so lucky.

Well, I don't care what anyone says or what laws he broke.

Javier's awesome.

He is.

Hey, well, at least you're free.

Your mom feels like so much shit about what happened.

She's gonna be so glad you're here.

I'm not here to see her.

I just need my car.

Do you have the key?

Oh, yeah.

I grabbed your bag. It's still in the back.

Thanks, Rob.

Letty, I'm serious about Estelle.

This is weighing harder on her than she'll even admit.

Can I get her?

Fine, go get her.

Estelle!

Estelle!

Hello?

Jav.

I think you are a magician.