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1
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:13,520
{\an8}They just walked out of there.
2
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:15,240
{\an8}Yeah, I know,
{\an8}I was sort of
{\an8}sitting next to you.
3
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,480
The whole Waters family,
they just walked
right out of there.
4
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,160
- Again, I was in the room.
- How do they
always manage that?
5
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,760
They're good.
6
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,200
They're greedy and
they'll do it again.
7
00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:27,440
And next time, we're going to
catch them in the act.
8
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:28,640
How?
9
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,400
- No good?
- They always
know we're coming.
10
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,200
How do they always know?
11
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,720
They're good, they work at it.
12
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,640
- They're never going to stop.
- Well, neither are we.
13
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,040
- Greg.
- In the act!
14
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:21,200
The only way we're
going to do this,
in the act!
15
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,120
You still blocking it?
16
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,640
Yeah, very efficiently hacked.
17
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,080
They must be bloody pleased
with themselves.
18
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,720
They must be.
19
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:06,480
Right, then.
20
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:07,840
Ah, no.
21
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,360
You go make the arrest.
This one's yours, boss.
22
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:11,680
You've never
called me boss before.
23
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,360
No? Well, look what happens
when you're good.
24
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,640
You know how most
days aren't good days?
25
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,080
- This is a good day.
- Not for the Waters family.
26
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,120
Okay, 10 men on the roof.
All exits covered.
27
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:24,680
The bank's closed
so we've no
hostages to worry about.
28
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:28,160
Sorry, no, go on, go on.
29
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,000
Um, we've got
the tunnel entrance covered
30
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,920
and Davis, Well and Christie
are heading up.
31
00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,480
Armed Response
aren't mucking around.
32
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,000
Sorry, I'd better get this.
33
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:37,280
{\an8}It's him, isn't it?
34
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,520
- I... I have to go.
- What?
35
00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:47,040
- You make the arrest.
- No way.
36
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,040
Sorry, you'll be fine.
I'm cool with this.
37
00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,360
Jones will get all the credit
if you leave now
and you know he will.
38
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,680
Yeah, well...
Yeah, it doesn't matter,
I'll have to go.
39
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,760
Backup, I need maximum backup.
40
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,200
Baker Street, now.
41
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,240
What's going on?
42
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,920
- This is hard.
- What?
43
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,400
Really hard.
Hardest thing
I've ever had to do.
44
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,120
Do you know
any funny stories about John?
45
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,520
What?
46
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,280
I need anecdotes.
47
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,120
Didn't go to any trouble,
did you?
48
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,760
- Shut up, Mrs Hudson.
- I haven't said a word.
49
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,520
You're
formulating a question
50
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,960
and it's physically painful
watching you think.
51
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,720
I thought it was you playing.
52
00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:13,600
It was me playing.
53
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:15,720
I am composing.
54
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,120
You were dancing.
55
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,800
- I was road-testing.
- You what?
56
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,440
Why are you here?
57
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,760
I'm bringing you
your morning tea.
58
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,360
You're not usually awake.
59
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:27,840
You bring me tea
in the morning?
60
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,480
Where do you think
it came from?
61
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,880
I don't know,
I just thought it
sort of happened.
62
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,600
Your mother has
a lot to answer for.
63
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,600
Mmm, I know. I have a list.
64
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,760
Mycroft has a file.
65
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,960
So, it's the big day, then.
66
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:43,960
What big day?
67
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,480
The wedding.
68
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,360
John and Mary are
getting married.
69
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,880
Two people who currently who
live together are about
to attend church,
70
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,560
have a party,
go on a short holiday,
71
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,440
then carry on living together.
What's big about that?
72
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:54,920
It changes people, marriage.
73
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,680
Mmm, no, it doesn't.
74
00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:00,000
Well, you wouldn't understand
'cause you always live alone.
75
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:02,880
Your husband was executed
for double murder,
76
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,440
you're hardly an advert
for companionship.
77
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:09,160
Marriage changes you as a
person in ways that
you can't imagine.
78
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,600
As does lethal injection.
79
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:14,120
My best friend, Margaret,
she was my chief bridesmaid,
80
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,040
we were going to be
best friends forever,
81
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,600
we always said that.
82
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,360
But I hardly saw
her after that.
83
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,520
Aren't there usually biscuits?
84
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,240
- I've run out.
- Have the shops?
85
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,760
She cried
the whole day, saying,
"Ooh, it's the end of an era."
86
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,240
I'm sure the shop on
the corner is open.
87
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,280
She was
probably right, really.
88
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,240
I remember she left early.
89
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,400
I mean,
who leaves a wedding early?
90
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,080
So sad.
91
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,480
Mmm. Anyway,
you've got things to do.
92
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,560
No, not really.
I've got plenty of time...
93
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,200
Biscuits!
94
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,720
I really am
going to have a word
with your mother.
95
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:46,040
You can if you like,
she understands very little.
96
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,480
Right, then.
97
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,320
Into battle.
98
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,400
Congratulations!
99
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,600
Okay, hold it there,
I want to get this shot
100
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,720
of the newlyweds.
101
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,240
Ah, just the bride
and groom, please.
102
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,800
- Sherlock.
- Oh, sorry.
103
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,600
Okay.
Three, two, one.
104
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:33,920
Cheese.
105
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,360
The famous Mr Holmes.
106
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,600
I'm very pleased to meet you.
107
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,240
- But no sex, okay?
- Sorry?
108
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,760
You don't have
to look so scared.
109
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,120
I'm only messing.
110
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,040
Bridesmaid, best man,
it's a bit traditional.
111
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,080
Is it?
112
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,520
But not obligatory.
113
00:08:58,640 --> 00:08:59,880
If that's the sort of thing
you're looking for,
114
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,280
the man over there
in blue is your best bet.
115
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,040
Recently divorced doctor
with a ginger cat,
116
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,840
a barn
conversion and a history
of erectile dysfunction.
117
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,240
Reviewing that information,
possibly not your best bet.
118
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:12,000
Yeah, maybe not.
119
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:13,560
Sorry,
there was one more deduction
there than I was expecting.
120
00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:17,560
Mr Holmes,
you're going to be
incredibly useful.
121
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,880
Hello, lovely to meet you.
122
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,160
- How are you?
- Beautiful, Mary.
123
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,560
Thank you.
124
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,160
David.
125
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,560
Mary.
Congratulations.
126
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,080
- You look, um, very nice.
- Thanks.
127
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,000
John, congratulations.
You're a lucky man.
128
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:41,120
Thank you.
129
00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:42,600
Um, David, this is Sherlock.
130
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:46,080
- Mmm.
- Um, yeah, we've, um...
131
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,080
We've met.
132
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:54,840
So what exactly are my duties
as an usher?
133
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,000
Let's talk about Mary first.
134
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,800
- Sorry, what?
- Oh, I think you know what.
135
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,240
You went out with
her for two years.
136
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,800
Ages ago.
We're just good friends now.
137
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,320
Is that a fact?
138
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,720
Whenever she tweets,
you respond
within five minutes,
139
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,080
regardless of time
or current location,
140
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,760
suggesting you have
her on text alert.
141
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,280
In all your
Facebook photographs
of the happy couple,
142
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,720
Mary takes centre frame,
143
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,640
whereas John is always partly
or entirely excluded.
144
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,560
Wait,
you can't assume from that
145
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:22,200
that I've still
got some kind of
interest in Mary?
146
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,560
You've volunteered to be
a shoulder to cry on
147
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,000
on no less than
three separate occasions.
148
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,720
Do you have anything
to say in your defence?
149
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,880
I think from now on
we'll downgrade you
to casual acquaintance,
150
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,800
no more than three planned
social encounters a year
151
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,560
and always in John's presence.
152
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:38,240
I have your contact details.
I will be monitoring.
153
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:44,040
They're right about you.
You're a bloody psychopath.
154
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,040
High-functioning sociopath.
155
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,800
With your number.
156
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,000
Hello.
157
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,800
Thanks for coming, thank you.
158
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,400
Oh.
159
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,440
Yes, um, well-done
in the service, Archie.
160
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,720
He's really come
out of his shell.
I don't know how you did it.
161
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,320
Um...
162
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,200
Basically, it's a cute smile
to the bride's side,
163
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,840
cute smile to the groom's side
and then the rings.
164
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,760
- No.
- And you have to
wear the outfit.
165
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,640
- No.
- You really do have
to wear the outfit.
166
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,360
- What for?
- Grownups like
that sort of thing.
167
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:31,960
Why?
168
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,240
I don't know. I'll ask one.
169
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,360
You're a detective?
170
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,880
Yep.
171
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,800
- Have you solved any murders?
- Sure, loads.
172
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:41,440
Can I see?
173
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,760
Yeah, all right.
174
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,120
What's all that
stuff in his eye?
175
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:54,240
Maggots.
176
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,280
- Cool.
- Hmm.
177
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,840
He said you had
some pictures for him
as a treat.
178
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:02,120
Er, yes, if he's good.
179
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,240
Beheadings.
180
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,480
Lovely little village.
181
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,480
Hmm? What did you say?
182
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:12,880
Hold it.
183
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:16,320
Nice.
184
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,000
- Vol-au-vent?
- I'm starving.
185
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,280
- Thanks.
- I had to lose so much weight
186
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,480
to get into this dress.
187
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,960
Mmm. He's nice.
188
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,840
Traces of two leading
brands of deodorant,
189
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,160
both advertised
for their strengths.
190
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,560
Suggestive of a chronic
body odour problem
191
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:35,680
manifesting under stress.
192
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:38,200
Okay, done there.
What about his friend?
193
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,680
Long-term relationship.
Compulsive cheat.
194
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,720
- Seriously?
- Waterproof cover
on the smartphone.
195
00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,080
Yet his
complexion doesn't indicate
outdoor work.
196
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,400
Suggests he's in the habit of
taking his phone into
the shower with him,
197
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,000
which means he often receives
texts and emails he'd
rather went unseen.
198
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,760
- Can I keep you?
- Do you like solving crimes?
199
00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:58,880
Do you have a vacancy?
200
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,360
- So, Harry?
- Uh, no, no show.
201
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,840
Darling, I'm so sorry.
202
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,360
Yeah, it was a bit
of a punt asking,
I suppose.
203
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,080
Still, free bar,
wouldn't have been a good mix.
204
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,200
Oh. God, wow.
205
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,480
- Is that...
- He came.
206
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:22,680
So that's him.
207
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,920
- Major Sholto.
- Uh-huh.
208
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,360
If they're such good friends,
why does he barely
even mention him?
209
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,560
He mentions him
all the time to me.
Never shuts up about him.
210
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,800
- About him?
- Mmm-hmm.
211
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,480
Ugh, I chose this wine.
It's bloody awful.
212
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,080
Yes, but it's definitely him
that he talks about?
213
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,400
Mmm-hmm.
214
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:46,560
I'm very,
very glad to see you, sir.
215
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,440
I know you don't really
do this sort of thing.
216
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,040
Well,
I do for old friends, Watson.
217
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,760
John.
218
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,480
- It's good to see you.
- You, too.
219
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,440
Civilian life
suiting you, then?
220
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,840
Er,
yes, well, I think so, sir.
221
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,160
No more need for
the trick cyclist?
222
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,480
No, I go now and then.
Sort of a top-up.
223
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,800
Therapy can be very helpful.
224
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,680
Where are you
living these days?
225
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,680
Oh, way out in
the middle of nowhere.
You wouldn't know it.
226
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,880
-You look well.
- I've never even
heard him say his name.
227
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,520
Well, he's almost a recluse.
228
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,480
- You know, since...
- Yes.
229
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,160
I didn't think
he'd show up at all.
230
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,280
John says he's
the most unsociable man
he's ever met.
231
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,480
- He is?
He's the most unsociable?
- Mmm.
232
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,480
Ah, that's why he's
bouncing around him
like a puppy.
233
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,320
Oh, Sherlock.
234
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,840
Neither of us were the first,
you know.
235
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,160
- Stop smiling.
- It's my wedding day.
236
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,480
Yes. What?
237
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,840
- Sherlock.
- Why are you out of breath?
238
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:21,880
Filing.
239
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,560
Either I've caught you
in a compromising position
240
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,600
or you've been
working out again.
Favour the latter.
241
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,720
- What do you want?
- I need your answer, Mycroft,
242
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,280
as a matter of urgency.
243
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,200
- Answer?
- Even at the eleventh hour
244
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:32,960
it's not too late to know.
245
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:34,240
Oh, Lord.
246
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,840
Cars can be ordered,
247
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,400
private jets commandeered.
248
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,640
Today. It's today, isn't it?
249
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,400
No, Sherlock,
I will not be coming
250
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,440
to the "night do",
as you so poetically put it.
251
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,200
What a shame.
252
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,480
Mary and John
will be extremely...
253
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,040
Delighted not to
have me hanging around.
254
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,560
Oh, I don't know.
255
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,760
There should
always be a spectre
at the feast.
256
00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,840
So, this is it, then?
The big day.
257
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,520
I suppose I'll be seeing
a lot more of you from now on.
258
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,640
- What do you mean?
- It'll be just like old times.
259
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,000
No, I don't understand.
260
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,240
Oh, it's the endof an era, isn't it?
261
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,160
John and Mary. Domestic bliss.
262
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,480
No, no, no. I prefer to think
of it as the beginning
of a new chapter.
263
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,320
- What?
- Nothing.
264
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,080
I know that silence. What?
265
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,720
Well, I'd better let
you get back to it.
266
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,280
You have a big speech
or something, don't you?
267
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,160
- What?
- Cakes. Karaoke.
268
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:29,960
- Mingling.
- Mycroft!
269
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,280
This is what people do,
Sherlock. They get married.
I warned you.
270
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,840
Don't get involved.
271
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,240
Involved? I'm not involved.
272
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,120
- No.
- John asked me to
be his best man.
273
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:39,520
- How could I say no?
- Absolutely.
274
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,080
- I'm not involved.
- I believe you.
275
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,840
Really, I do.
276
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,480
Have a lovely day
and do give
the happy couple my best.
277
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,120
I will.
278
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,400
Oh, by the way, Sherlock.
279
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,960
Do you remember Redbeard?
280
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,640
I'm not a child
any more, Mycroft.
281
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,800
No, of course you're not.
282
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:02,040
Enjoy not getting involved,
Sherlock.
283
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,120
Pray silence for the best man.
284
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,000
Ladies and gentlemen,
285
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:37,840
family and friends.
286
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,880
And, um...
287
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,240
others.
288
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,400
Uh...
289
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,080
Also...
290
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:02,560
- Greg.
- Molly.
291
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:03,840
I just had a thought.
292
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,160
Is that a brain?
293
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,960
What if John asks Sherlock
to be his best man?
294
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,960
- Well, he will. He's bound to.
- Exactly.
295
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,640
- So?
- So,
he'll have to make a speech
296
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,240
in front of people.
297
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:18,440
There will be
actual people there
actually listening.
298
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,800
Well, what's the worst
that could happen?
299
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,360
Helen Louise
probably wondered the same.
300
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,480
Helen Louise?
301
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:31,800
Oh, hello, dear.
302
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,400
I was just thinking,
if John does ask Sherlock...
303
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,880
What, the speech, dear?
I know. It'll be fine.
304
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,520
It's not just the speech,
though, is it?
305
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,400
Mrs Hudson?
306
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,040
- Oh, no, darling.
- You all right?
307
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:55,800
I was going to see Sherlock
and I thought you were...
308
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,920
- No.
- ...possibly dying.
309
00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,320
I'm sorry.
310
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,400
What's wrong?
311
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,400
The telegrams.
312
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,280
- Sorry, what?
- Oh, sorry.
313
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:13,840
The telegrams.
314
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,800
Right, um...
315
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,680
Mmm.
316
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,080
First things first.
317
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,280
Telegrams.
318
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,680
Well, they're not
actually telegrams.
319
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,120
We just call them telegrams,
I don't know why.
320
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:26,880
Wedding tradition.
321
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,680
Because we don't have enough
of that already, apparently.
322
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,000
"To Mr and Mrs Watson.
323
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:33,960
"So sorry I'm
unable to be with you
on your special day.
324
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,960
"Good luck and best wishes,
Mike Stanford."
325
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,160
- Ah, Mike.
- Aw.
326
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,080
"To John and Mary.
327
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,200
"All good wishes
for your special day.
With love and many big...
328
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,720
"big squishy cuddles
from Stella and Ted."
329
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,440
"Mary, lots of love..." Oh!
330
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,760
- Yeah?
- "...poppet."
331
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,760
"Oodles of love
and heaps of good
wishes from Cam.
332
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,840
"Wish your family
could have seen this."
333
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:01,760
- Hey, hmm?
- Yep.
334
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,720
Um... "Special day."
335
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:08,000
"Very special day."
"Love."
"Love." "Love." "Love."
336
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,600
"Love." Bit of a theme,
you get the general gist.
337
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:10,920
People are basically fond.
338
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,000
John Watson.
339
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,320
My friend, John Watson.
340
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,800
John.
341
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,320
When John first broached the
subject of being best man,
I was confused.
342
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,760
- Sherlock?
- What was that
noise downstairs?
343
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,360
Ah, it was
Mrs Hudson laughing.
344
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,400
It sounds like she
was torturing an owl.
345
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,560
Yeah, well it was laughter.
346
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,080
Could have been both.
347
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,320
- Busy?
- Just
occupying myself.
348
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,120
Sometimes it's so
hard not smoking.
349
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,240
Mind if I interrupt?
350
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,200
Oh, be my guest.
351
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,960
- Tea?
- Ah...
352
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,120
So.
353
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,600
- The big question.
- Mmm-hmm?
354
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:58,800
The best man.
355
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,760
- The best man?
- What do you think?
356
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,680
Billy Kincaid.
357
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,560
- Sorry, what?
- Billy Kincaid,
the Camden garrotter.
358
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,880
Best man I ever knew.
359
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,440
Vast contributions to charity
never disclosed.
360
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,920
Personally managed to save
three hospitals from closure.
361
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:14,040
I mean, the best and safest
children's homes
in North England.
362
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,280
Yes, every now and again
there would be
some garrotings,
363
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,840
but stacking up
the lives saved
against the garrotings,
364
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,040
- on balance I'd say...
- For my wedding.
365
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,480
For me. I need a best man.
366
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:23,720
Oh, right.
367
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,840
- Maybe not a garrotter.
- Gavin?
368
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,600
- Who?
- Gavin Lestrade.
369
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,680
He's a man and good at it.
370
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,160
It's Greg.
371
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,080
And he's not my best friend.
372
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,800
Oh, Mike Stanford, I see.
373
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,440
Well, he's nice, um...
374
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:38,760
Though I'm not sure
how well he'd cope with...
375
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,360
No, Mike's great,
but he's not my best friend.
376
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:47,160
Look, Sherlock, this is the
biggest and most
important day of my life.
377
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,560
- Well...
- No, it is. It is.
378
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,160
And I want to be up there
with the two people
379
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,560
that I love and care about
380
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,320
- most in the world.
- Yes.
381
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,360
- Mary Morstan...
- Yes.
382
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:05,200
...and...
383
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,840
you.
384
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,680
I confess at
first I didn't realise
he was asking me.
385
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,440
When finally I understood,
386
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,600
I expressed to him that I was
both flattered and surprised.
387
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,520
I explained to him that
I had never
expected this request
388
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,600
and I was a little daunted
in the face of it.
389
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:29,920
Sherlock?
390
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,000
I nonetheless promised that I
would do my very best to
accomplish a task
391
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:37,920
which was, for me,
as demanding and difficult
392
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,480
as any I had
ever contemplated.
393
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,640
Additionally, I thanked him
for the trust he placed in me
394
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,480
and indicated that
I was, in some ways,
395
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:47,160
very close to
being moved by it.
396
00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:53,560
No,
it's getting a bit scary now.
397
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,160
It later
transpired that I'd said
none of this out loud.
398
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:04,560
So, in fact...
399
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:08,960
- You-you mean...
- Yes.
400
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,520
I'm your... best...
401
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,800
- Man.
- ...friend?
402
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,400
Yeah, of course you are.
403
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,160
Course you're my best friend.
404
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:34,400
Well, how was that?
405
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,000
Surprisingly okay.
406
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:43,760
So you'll have
to make a speech,
of course.
407
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,280
So...
408
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,440
Done that. Done that.
409
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,200
Done that bit. Done that bit.
410
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,400
Done that bit.
411
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,560
I'm afraid, John,
I can't congratulate you.
412
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,400
All emotions,
and in particular love,
413
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,520
stand opposed to
the pure cold reason
I hold above all things.
414
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,600
A wedding is,
in my considered opinion,
415
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,240
nothing short of
a celebration of
all that is false and specious
416
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:15,240
and irrational and sentimental
417
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:17,560
in this ailing
and morally compromised world.
418
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,920
Today we honour the deathwatch
beetle that is
the doom of our society
419
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:25,040
and in time,
one feels certain,
our entire species.
420
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,440
But anyway,
let's talk about John.
421
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,200
Please.
422
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,800
If I burden myself with
a little helpmate
during my adventures,
423
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,800
it is not out of
sentiment or caprice,
424
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,080
it is that he has many
fine qualities of his own
425
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,360
that he has overlooked
in his obsession with me.
426
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,200
Indeed, any reputation I have
for mental
acuity and sharpness
427
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,560
comes in truth from
the extraordinary contrast
428
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,320
John so selflessly provides.
429
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,080
It is a fact, I believe,
that brides tend to favour
430
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,480
exceptionally
plain bridesmaids
for their big day.
431
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,600
There is a certain
analogy there, I feel.
432
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,160
And contrast is, after all,
433
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,600
God's own plan to enhance
the beauty of his creation.
434
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,360
Or it would be if God were not
a ludicrous fantasy
435
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,160
designed to provide
a career opportunity
for the family idiot.
436
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,560
The point I'm trying to make
is that I am
437
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:18,200
the most unpleasant,
rude, ignorant
438
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:19,800
and all-round
obnoxious arsehole
439
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,320
that anyone
could possibly have
the misfortune to meet.
440
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,720
I am dismissive
of the virtuous,
441
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,120
unaware of the beautiful,
442
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,640
and uncomprehending
in the face of the happy.
443
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,600
So if I didn't understand
I was being
asked to be best man,
444
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,600
it is because I
never expected to be
anybody's best friend.
445
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,480
And certainly
not the best friend
446
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,800
of the bravest and kindest
and wisest human being
447
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,560
I have ever had
the good fortune
of knowing.
448
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:48,840
Aw.
449
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,960
John, I am a ridiculous man.
450
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,320
Redeemed only by the warmth
and constancy of
your friendship.
451
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:56,800
But as I am, apparently,
your best friend,
452
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,160
I cannot congratulate you
on your choice of companion.
453
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,400
Actually, now I can.
454
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,400
Mary, when I say
you deserve this man,
455
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,400
it is the highest compliment
of which I am capable.
456
00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:15,440
John, you have endured war
457
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,520
and injury
458
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,120
and tragic loss.
459
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,200
So sorry again
about that last one.
460
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,760
So know this.
Today you sit between
461
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,960
the woman you
have made your wife
and the man you have saved.
462
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:33,240
In short, the two people who
love you most in
all this world.
463
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:36,760
And I know I speak for Mary
as well when I say we will
never let you down
464
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,000
and we have a lifetime ahead
to prove that.
465
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,640
- If I try and
hug him, stop me.
- Certainly not.
466
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,320
Ah, yes. Now on to some
funny stories about John.
467
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,640
What's wrong? What happened?
Why are you all doing that?
468
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:56,880
John?
469
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,160
Oh, Sherlock.
470
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:00,440
Did I do it wrong?
471
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,200
No, you didn't. Come here.
472
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,520
- I haven't finished yet.
- Yeah, I know. I know.
473
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,520
- So onto some funny stories...
- Can you wait till I sit down?
474
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,880
So onto some funny
stories about John.
475
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:23,880
If you could all
just cheer up a bit,
that would...
476
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,000
...be better.
477
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:28,560
On we go.
478
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:32,080
So for funny stories,
one has to look
no further than John's blog.
479
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,200
The record of
our time together.
480
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,600
Of course, he does tend to
romanticize things a bit
but then, you know,
481
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,000
he's a romantic.
482
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:43,000
We've tackled
some strange cases.
483
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,240
The Hollow Client.
484
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,120
The Poisoned Giant.
485
00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:58,360
Get down, John!
486
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:06,320
We've had some
frustrating cases.
487
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,240
What is that?
488
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:16,640
A French decathlete
found completely
out of his mind
489
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:21,040
surrounded by
1,812 matchboxes,
all empty, except this one.
490
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,400
And what's in that one?
491
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:26,880
The inexplicable.
492
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:31,880
Touching cases.
493
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,440
She's going to
ring the doorbell.
494
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,920
Oh,
no, she's changed her mind.
495
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,600
No, she's going to do it.
No, she's leaving.
496
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:45,720
She's leaving.
Oh,
she's coming back.
497
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,760
She's a client, she's boring.
I've seen those
symptoms before.
498
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,480
Hmm?
499
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,560
Oscillation on the pavement
always means
there's a love affair.
500
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,920
And of course,
I have to mention
The Elephant in the Room.
501
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:06,080
But we want something very
particular for this
special day, don't we?
502
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,800
The Bloody Guardsman.
503
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,880
Did you work on your half
of the church, Mary?
504
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,920
- Looking a bit thin.
- Oh.
505
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:18,200
Orphan's lot.
506
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,040
Friends, that's all I have.
Lots of friends.
507
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,600
You should have
the organ music
to begin at precisely 11:48...
508
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:24,800
But the rehearsal's not for
another two weeks.
Just calm down.
509
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,800
Calm? I am calm,
I'm extremely calm.
510
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,960
Let's get back
to the reception.
Come on.
511
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:30,600
John's cousin, top table?
512
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,680
Hmm, hates you.
Can't even bear
to think about you.
513
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,760
- Seriously?
- Second-class post.
514
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,040
Cheap card.
515
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:38,480
Bought at a petrol station.
Look at the stamp.
516
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:39,840
Three attempts at licking.
517
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,040
She's obviously unconsciously
retaining saliva.
518
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:43,480
Aw,
let's stick her by the bogs.
519
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,320
Oh, yes.
520
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:47,880
Who else hates me?
521
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,000
Oh, great. Thanks.
522
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,160
"Priceless painting nicked."
Looks interesting.
523
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:56,400
- Table four?
- Done.
524
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,080
"My husband is three people."
525
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,560
- Table five?
- Major James Sholto. Who he?
526
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,200
Oh, John's old
commanding officer.
I don't think he's coming.
527
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:05,280
-He'll be there.
- Well, he needs to RSVP, then.
528
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:06,640
He'll be there.
529
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,880
"My husband is three people."
It's interesting.
530
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,760
Says he has three
distinct patterns
of moles on his skin.
531
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,360
Identical triplets.
One in half a million births.
532
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:15,480
Solved it without
leaving the flat.
533
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:16,640
Now, serviettes.
534
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:19,160
Swan or Sydney Opera House?
535
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,040
Where did you
learn to do that?
536
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,720
Many unexpected skills
required in the field of
criminal investigation.
537
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,600
- Fibbing, Sherlock.
- I once broke an alibi
538
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,680
by demonstrating
the exact severity of...
539
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:27,880
I'm not John.
I can tell when
you're fibbing.
540
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,400
Okay. I learnt it on YouTube.
541
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,080
Opera House, please.
Oh, hang on. I'm buzzing.
542
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:34,320
Hello?
543
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,600
Oh, hi, Beth.
544
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,320
Yeah,
yeah, I don't see why not.
545
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,840
Actually, if that's Beth,
it's probably for me, too.
Hang on.
546
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:50,560
He knows we don't have
a friend called Beth.
547
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:51,920
He's going to figure
out that it's code.
548
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:53,520
- He's YouTubing serviettes.
- He's thorough.
549
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:54,880
- He's terrified.
- Of course he's not.
550
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,440
Right, you know when you're
scared of something,
551
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,440
you start wishing it sooner
just to get it all going?
552
00:30:58,560 --> 00:30:59,840
That's what he's doing.
553
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:02,000
Why would he be scared
that we're getting married?
554
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:03,960
It's not going to
change anything.
We'll still do stuff.
555
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,320
We need to prove it to him.
I told you to
find him a new case.
556
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,160
- I'm trying.
- You need to run him, okay?
557
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,520
Show him it's still
the good old days.
558
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,000
That just sort of happened.
559
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:26,200
Sherlock, um...
560
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:28,800
mate.
561
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:31,760
I've...
562
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,840
I've smelled
18 different perfumes.
563
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,760
I've sampled
564
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,520
nine different slices of cake,
which all tasted identical.
565
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,360
I like
the bridesmaids in purple.
566
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,480
Lilac.
567
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:47,480
Um,
there are no more decisions
left to make.
568
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,600
I don't even
understand the decisions
that we have made.
569
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,720
I'm faking opinions
and it's exhausting.
570
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,920
So please,
before she comes back...
571
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:58,520
...pick something.
572
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,280
- Anything, pick one.
- Pick what?
573
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:04,640
A case.
574
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,880
Your inbox is bursting.
Just...
575
00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:08,640
get me out of here.
576
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,960
You want to go out on a case?
Now?
577
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:12,520
Please.
578
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:13,800
Sherlock, for me.
579
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:17,480
Don't you worry
about anything.
I'll get you out of this.
580
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:20,360
Oh.
581
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,200
Dear, Mr Holmes,my name is Bainbridge.
582
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,960
I'm a private inHer Majesty's Household Guard.
583
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:28,680
I'm writing to youabout a personal matter,
584
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,200
one I don't care to bringbefore my superiors,
585
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,000
it would sound so trivial.
586
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,000
But I thinksomeone's stalking me.
587
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,400
I'm used to tourists,it's part of the job.
588
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,240
But this is different.
589
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:41,400
Someone's watching me.
590
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,920
He's takingpictures of me every day.
591
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:49,120
I don't want to mention itto the manager
592
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,360
but it's reallypreying on my mind.
593
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,640
Uniform fetishist.
All the nice
girls like a soldier.
594
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,080
It's sailor.
595
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,840
And Bainbridge thinks
his stalker is a bloke.
596
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:04,680
Let's go and investigate.
597
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,000
- Please?
- Elite guard.
598
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:07,400
Forty enlisted
men and officers.
599
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,840
Why this particular grenadier?
Curious.
600
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:11,800
- Now you're talking.
- Okay.
601
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,400
Bye.
602
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:14,680
Uh, we're just going to...
603
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:18,000
I need,
um, Sherlock to help me
choose some...
604
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,600
- Tie.
- ...socks.
605
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:21,120
- Why don't we go with socks?
- Yeah.
606
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:22,200
I mean, you've got to get
the right ones.
607
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:23,680
Exactly. To go with my...
608
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:24,920
- Tie.
- ...outfit.
609
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,160
Well,
it'll take a while,
right?
610
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,200
- My coat in there?
- Yes.
611
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,040
Just going to take
him out for a bit.
612
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,480
- Run him.
- I know.
613
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,240
You said you'd
find him a case.
614
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:37,800
- Coming, Sherlock?
- Coming.
615
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,280
Taxi!
616
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,240
Company, halt!
617
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,960
Right turn!
618
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,840
We're here to see
Private Steven Bainbridge.
619
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,880
He's on duty right now, sir.
620
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,240
I'll certainly let him know
when he's free.
621
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:19,280
And when will that be?
622
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:21,160
Another hour.
623
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:37,200
You think
they give them classes?
624
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:38,760
Classes?
625
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:42,040
How to resist the temptation
to scratch their behinds.
626
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,960
Afferent neurons
in
the peripheral nervous system.
627
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:47,680
- Bum itch.
- Oh.
628
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,280
So why don't you
see him any more?
629
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,080
- Who?
- Your previous commander,
Sholto.
630
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,040
- Previous commander?
- I meant ex.
631
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:03,760
"Previous" suggests that
I currently have a commander.
632
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:05,240
- Which you don't.
- Which I don't.
633
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,240
Of course you don't.
634
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:08,880
He was decorated, wasn't he?
635
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,120
- A war hero.
- Not to everyone.
636
00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:14,120
He led a team of
crows into battle.
637
00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:15,960
- Crows?
- New recruits.
638
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,120
It's standard procedure
to break the new boys in,
639
00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:20,600
but it went wrong.
640
00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:23,280
They all died.
He was the only survivor.
641
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:24,760
The press and the families
gave him hell.
642
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:26,040
He gets more death
threats than you.
643
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:27,760
Oh, I wouldn't count on that.
644
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,760
Why have you
suddenly taken an interest
in another human being?
645
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:33,200
I'm chatting.
646
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,240
Won't be trying that again.
647
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,520
Changing
the subject completely...
648
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,720
You know it won't
alter anything, right?
Me and Mary getting married.
649
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:49,880
We'll still be doing all this.
650
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:50,960
Oh, good.
651
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:52,360
If you were worried.
652
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:53,960
I wasn't worried.
653
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,760
The thing about Mary,
654
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,640
she has completely
turned my life around.
655
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,080
Changed everything.
656
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:09,880
But for the record,
657
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,640
over the last few years, there
are two people who
have done that and...
658
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:16,440
the other one is...
659
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:18,000
a complete dickhead.
660
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,160
Can I ask what this is
in connection with?
661
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:56,200
Private
Bainbridge contacted us
about a personal matter, sir.
662
00:37:56,320 --> 00:38:00,040
Nothing's personal
when it concerns my troops.
663
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:03,880
- What do you really want?
- I'm here on
a legitimate enquiry.
664
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,800
You press?
665
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:07,800
Digging for some bloody
royal story or something?
666
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,040
No, sir, I'm...
667
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,080
Captain John Watson,
Fifth
Northumberland Fusiliers...
668
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,760
Retired.
669
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:16,840
You could be
a used car salesman now,
for all I know.
670
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,160
Bainbridge?
671
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,280
Gentleman here to see you.
672
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:25,960
Bainbridge!
673
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,120
I know you, don't I?
674
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:37,840
Hmm?
675
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:43,600
I've seen you in the papers.
676
00:38:43,720 --> 00:38:47,280
Hanging around
with that detective,
the one with the silly hat.
677
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,160
What the hell
does Bainbridge want
with a detective?
678
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:52,720
I'm afraid I'm not
at liberty to say.
679
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,360
You're not at liberty to say?
He's a soldier in my regiment.
680
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,040
I'll be damned if he's going
to get up to cloak-and-dagger
nonsense like this.
681
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,120
Sir.
682
00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:01,400
- Sir.
- What's going on?
683
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:03,440
It's Bainbridge, sir.
He's dead.
684
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,600
My God!
685
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,040
Let me take a look,
sir, I'm a doctor.
686
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:20,400
What?
687
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:21,520
Sergeant, arrest this man.
688
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:22,880
What? No, no, I'm a doctor.
689
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,280
Oh, you're a doctor now, too?
690
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:26,160
- Sergeant.
- Let me examine him, please.
691
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,920
Sir, caught this
one snooping around.
692
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:30,800
Is that what
this is all about?
693
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,400
Distracting me so that this
man could get in here
and kill Bainbridge?
694
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:35,160
Kill him with what?
Where's the weapon?
695
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:36,240
- What?
- Where's the weapon?
696
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:37,960
Go on, search me, no weapon.
697
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,680
Bainbridge was on parade.
He came off duty
five minutes ago.
698
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,120
When's this
supposed to have happened?
699
00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:44,040
You obviously stabbed him
before he got into shower.
700
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:45,600
- No.
- No?
701
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,720
He's soaking wet
and there's still
shampoo in his hair.
702
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,600
He got into the shower
and then someone stabbed him.
703
00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:51,320
But the cubicle was locked
from the inside, sir.
704
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:52,480
I had to break it open.
705
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:53,960
Must have
climbed over the top.
706
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:55,640
Well,
then I'd be soaking wet, too,
wouldn't I?
707
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:59,400
Major, please. I'm
John Watson, Fifth
Northumberland Fusiliers.
708
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:00,920
Three years in Afghanistan,
709
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,480
a veteran of Kandahar, Helmand
and Barts bloody Hospital!
710
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,280
Let me examine this body!
711
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:13,600
Thank you.
712
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,440
- Suicide?
- No.
713
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,040
The weapon again, no knife.
714
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:24,480
Here we are.
There is a wound
to the abdomen.
715
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,120
Incredibly fine.
716
00:40:27,240 --> 00:40:28,720
Man stabbed to death.
717
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,200
No murder weapon.
Door locked from the inside.
718
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:33,440
Only one way in
or out of here.
719
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,320
- Sherlock.
- Mmm?
720
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,600
- He's still breathing.
- Oh, my God.
721
00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:39,000
- What do we do?
- Give me your scarf.
722
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,240
- What?
- Quickly, now.
723
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:42,560
- Call an ambulance.
- What?
724
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:44,240
Call an ambulance now!
725
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:46,120
Do it!
726
00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:48,120
Nurse, press here, hard.
727
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:49,720
- Nurse?
- Right, I'm making do.
728
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:51,440
Keep pressure on that wound.
729
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:53,680
Steven? Steven, stay with me.
730
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:57,920
Private Bainbridge had just
come off guard duty.
731
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,000
He'd stood there for hours,
plenty of people watching,
732
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,480
nothing apparently wrong.
733
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,200
He came off duty
and within
minutes was nearly dead
734
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:08,280
from a wound in his stomach
but there was no weapon.
735
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,720
Where did it go?
736
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,360
Ladies and gentlemen,
I invite you to consider this.
737
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,480
A murderer who can
walk through walls.
738
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,240
A weapon that can vanish.
739
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:17,320
But in all of this,
there is only one element
740
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,240
which can be said to be
truly remarkable.
741
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,360
Would anyone like
to make a guess?
742
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:30,400
Come on, come on. There is
actually an element of
Q&A to all of this.
743
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,360
Scotland Yard,
have you got a theory?
744
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:40,600
Yeah, you. You're a detective,
broadly speaking.
Got a theory?
745
00:41:40,720 --> 00:41:42,280
Er, um...
746
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:46,320
If the blade
was propelled
through the, um...
747
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,680
grating in the air vent...
748
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,880
Maybe
a ballista or a catapult,
749
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,760
somebody tiny
could crawl in there.
750
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,000
So yeah,
we're looking for a dwarf.
751
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:01,200
- Brilliant.
- Really?
752
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:02,600
No.
753
00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:04,320
- Next.
- He
stabbed himself.
754
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,080
Hello, who was that? Tom.
755
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:11,480
Got a theory?
756
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:19,520
Um, attempted suicide with
a blade made of
compacted blood and bone.
757
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,720
Broke after
piercing his abdomen,
like a meat...
758
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:25,560
dagger.
759
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,480
- A meat dagger?
- Yes.
760
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:29,560
Sit down.
761
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,400
No.
762
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,440
There was one feature
and only one
feature of interest
763
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,320
in the whole of
this baffling case
764
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:39,760
and quite frankly,
it was the usual.
765
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,400
John Watson.
766
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:43,080
Who, while I was trying
to solve the murder,
767
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,400
instead saved a life.
768
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,320
There are
mysteries worth solving
and stories worth telling.
769
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,320
The best and
bravest man I know
770
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,040
and on top of that
he actually knows
how to do stuff.
771
00:42:56,720 --> 00:42:58,280
Except wedding
planning and serviettes,
he's rubbish at those.
772
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:01,120
The case itself remains
the most ingenious
773
00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:03,360
and brilliantly planned murder
or attempted murder
774
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,680
I've ever had
the pleasure to encounter.
775
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,760
The most perfect
locked-room mystery
of which I am aware.
776
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,280
However, I'm not just here
to praise John,
777
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,680
I'm also here embarrass him,
so let's move on to some...
778
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:14,880
No, wait. So how was it done?
779
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,840
- How was what done?
- The stabbing.
780
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:20,800
I'm afraid I don't know.
781
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:23,160
I didn't solve
that one, that's...
782
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:27,320
It can happen sometimes.
It's very...
Very disappointing.
783
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,880
Embarrassment leads me on
to the stag night.
784
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,440
Course, there's
hours of material here,
785
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:33,520
but I've cut it down
to the really good bits.
786
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:36,800
Murder scenes.
787
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,000
Locations of murders?
788
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:41,480
Mmm, pub crawl, themed.
789
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:44,000
Yeah,
but why can't you just do
Underground stations?
790
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:45,520
It lacks the personal touch.
791
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:46,760
We're going to go
for a drink in...
792
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:48,720
In every street
where you've found a corpse.
793
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:50,000
Delightful.
794
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:51,840
- Where do I come in?
- Don't want to get ill.
795
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:53,320
That would ruin it,
spoil the mood.
796
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,840
You're a graduate chemist,
can't you just work it out?
797
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:57,640
I like
the practical experience.
798
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:00,840
Meaning you
think I like a drink?
799
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,280
- Occasionally.
- That I'm a drunk?
800
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:03,440
No. No!
801
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,600
You look well.
802
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,080
- I am.
- How's...
803
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:17,320
Tom?
804
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,400
- Not a sociopath.
- Still? Good.
805
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:22,240
And we're having
quite a lot of sex.
806
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:25,920
Okay.
807
00:44:26,040 --> 00:44:28,240
I want you to calculate
John's ideal intake and mine
808
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,120
to remain in the sweet spot
the whole evening.
809
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:33,920
- Lightheaded good.
- Urinating in wardrobes bad.
810
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:35,080
Hmm.
811
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,000
Two, er, beers, please.
812
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:41,000
- Pints?
- 443.7 millilitres.
813
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:45,720
Ah...
814
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:53,680
{\an8}- What, we're on a schedule?
{\an8}- You'll thank me.
815
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:12,240
Cheers.
816
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:19,920
- Over there.
- What?
817
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:21,560
Toilets.
Any second now, you'll get...
818
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:23,080
Hang on. Tell me after.
I need the loo.
819
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:24,720
Mmm. On schedule.
820
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,440
- Eh?
- Nothing. Go.
821
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:33,720
- How long?
- Sorry?
822
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,040
Your visit.
823
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,480
If you could estimate
approximate
volume discharge...
824
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,000
Stop talking now.
825
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:45,080
Oh.
826
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:47,560
Quick, one more.
He mustn't see.
827
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,000
There you go.
828
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:00,160
Cheers.
829
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:04,320
I know Ash!
830
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,720
Don't tell me I don't.
831
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,640
That is enough! That is...
832
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:18,600
Ashton.
833
00:46:18,720 --> 00:46:19,920
I know Ashton!
834
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,560
I have
an international reputation.
835
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,880
Do you have
an international reputation?
836
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,320
No, I don't have
an international reputation.
837
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:36,520
No.
838
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:40,880
And I can't even
remember what for.
839
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,080
It's...
840
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,440
crime, something like that.
841
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:52,360
Oh.
842
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:54,120
What are you doing back?
I thought you were
going to be out late?
843
00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:56,720
Ah, Hudders.
What time is it?
844
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,920
You've only
been out two hours.
845
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:13,320
Am I a vegetable?
846
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:15,880
You or the...
847
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:18,520
Funny.
848
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,040
- Thank you.
- Come on.
849
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,600
- No, you're not a vegetable.
- It's your go.
850
00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:25,800
Uh...
851
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:27,200
Am I human?
852
00:47:28,240 --> 00:47:29,360
Sometimes.
853
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,120
Can't have sometimes.
Has to be, um...
854
00:47:31,240 --> 00:47:32,240
Yes, you're human.
855
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,600
Yes, I know. And am I man?
856
00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:36,640
- Yep.
- Tall?
857
00:47:38,240 --> 00:47:39,480
Not as tall as people think.
858
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,000
Hmm. Nice?
859
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:43,800
- Ish.
- Clever?
860
00:47:43,920 --> 00:47:45,800
- I'd say so.
- You would.
861
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:48,040
Am I important?
862
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:49,560
To some people.
863
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,240
Do "people" like me?
864
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:54,520
Er, no, they don't.
865
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:57,160
You tend to rub
them up the wrong way.
866
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:59,080
Okay.
867
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:00,440
Am I the current
King of England?
868
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:01,840
We...
869
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:05,320
You know we don't have a king.
870
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:06,760
- Don't we?
- No.
871
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:07,880
Your go.
872
00:48:15,720 --> 00:48:17,240
I don't mind.
873
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:18,720
Am I a woman?
874
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,040
What?
875
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:24,560
Yes.
876
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:27,400
Am I pretty?
877
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:30,000
This.
878
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:34,840
Beauty is a construct
based entirely on
childhood impressions,
879
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:36,520
influences and role models.
880
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:39,920
Yeah, but am I a pretty lady?
881
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:44,880
I don't know who you are.
I don't know who
you're supposed to be.
882
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:46,240
You picked the name!
883
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:49,000
Yeah, but I picked it
at random from the papers.
884
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:51,960
You're not really getting the
hang of this game,
are you, Sherlock?
885
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,920
So I am human,
I'm not as tall as
people think I am.
886
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,680
I'm... I'm nice-ish.
887
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,280
Clever.
Important to some people.
888
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:02,680
But I tend to rub them up
the wrong way.
889
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:06,120
- Got it.
- Go on, then.
890
00:49:06,240 --> 00:49:07,960
I'm you, aren't I?
891
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:09,240
Client!
892
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:10,440
Client.
893
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:12,840
Hello.
894
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:14,000
Come.
895
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,040
Which one of you
is Sherlock Holmes?
896
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:23,120
I don't a lot.
897
00:49:23,240 --> 00:49:27,800
I mean, I don't
date all that much and...
898
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:31,000
He seemed nice, you know?
899
00:49:31,120 --> 00:49:34,160
We seemed to
automatically connect.
900
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,840
We had one night, dinner.
901
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:41,640
Such interesting conversation,
it was lovely.
902
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:43,400
To be honest,
903
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:47,480
I'd love to have gone further
but I thought,
904
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,960
"No, this is special.
905
00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:53,160
"Let's take it slowly.
Exchange numbers."
906
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:55,520
He said he'd get
in touch and then...
907
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:02,680
Maybe he wasn't quite
908
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:06,320
as keen as I was but I...
909
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:11,440
I just thought at
least he'd call to say
that we were finished.
910
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:20,880
I went round there.
911
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:23,720
To his flat. No trace of him.
912
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,920
Mr Holmes, I honestly think
913
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:32,640
I had dinner with a ghost.
914
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:38,120
Mr Holmes?
915
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,400
With a ghost, Mr Holmes!
916
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:47,120
Boring. Boring. Boring. No!
917
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:49,720
Fascinating.
918
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:53,200
John, John, wake up.
919
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,600
Apologise about my,
you know...
920
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:57,520
Rude. Rude!
921
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:03,920
I checked with the landlord
and the man who
lived there died.
922
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:06,320
Heart attack.
923
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:11,040
And there we are
having dinner one week on.
924
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:14,000
And I found this thing online,
925
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,880
sort of chat room thing,
926
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:20,800
for girls who think
they're dating men
from the spirit world.
927
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:23,760
Don't worry.
I'll find him in 10 minutes.
928
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:25,240
What's your dog's name?
929
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:26,800
Yeah,
I'll be there if you want...
930
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:28,240
John, wake up.
931
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:29,680
Meant to...
932
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,040
You...
The game is something...
933
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:36,120
- Oh.
- Yeah, that, that.
934
00:51:36,240 --> 00:51:37,360
Okay.
935
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:47,440
Oh, it's nice.
936
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:50,200
Nice place.
937
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:56,280
- See anything?
- Hmm?
938
00:51:57,240 --> 00:51:59,000
Any clues, Mr Holmes?
939
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:01,080
Oh, er...
940
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:23,960
I'm just going
to whip this out.
941
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:32,760
Mmm-hmm.
942
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:41,760
- You all right?
- Hmm?
943
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:43,200
- Yeah, he's clueing.
- What?
944
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:44,480
He's... Hmm?
945
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:46,480
He's clueing for looks.
946
00:52:57,360 --> 00:52:58,680
Mr Holmes?
947
00:53:04,240 --> 00:53:06,080
- Mr Holmes?
- I'm calling the police.
948
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:07,360
Oh, no.
949
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:08,960
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
950
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:10,600
This is a famous detective.
951
00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:13,120
It's Sherlock Holmes
and his partner,
John Hamish Watson.
952
00:53:13,240 --> 00:53:14,840
What do you
think you're doing?
953
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:18,840
Don't compromise
the integrity of the...
954
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:26,200
Crime scene.
955
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:34,760
Yeah, that.
956
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:56,840
-Wakey, wakey!
- Oh, my God.
957
00:53:58,360 --> 00:53:59,360
Greg? Is that Greg?
958
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:00,960
Get up, I'm going to
put you two in a taxi.
959
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,600
Managed to square things
with the desk sergeant.
960
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:06,080
What a couple of lightweights.
961
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:07,920
You couldn't even make it
to closing time.
962
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:10,960
- Can you whisper?
- Not really!
963
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:15,240
Come on.
964
00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:31,120
Well, thanks for, you know,
965
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,080
- an evening.
- It was awful.
966
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:35,520
- Yep.
- Oh.
967
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:37,600
I was going to pretend but...
968
00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:38,880
It was, truly.
969
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:41,080
- That woman Tessa...
- What?
970
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:43,680
Dated a ghost,
most interesting
case for months.
971
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,800
What a wasted opportunity.
972
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:47,880
Okay.
973
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:56,840
-
How are you feeling?
- Mmm.
974
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:01,840
It's just like old times,
having you back here.
975
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:03,800
I thought I'd
make your favourite.
976
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:05,720
- One last time.
- Oh.
977
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:07,960
Don't sound so final about it.
978
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:09,240
I will be visiting, you know.
979
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:11,680
Oh,
I've heard that one before.
980
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:13,080
No,
it's different now, though,
isn't it?
981
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:14,560
It's different
to when we thought
we'd lost him.
982
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:17,440
Well, marriage
changes everything, John.
983
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:18,720
- Does it?
- Yeah.
984
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:20,920
You might not
think it but it does.
985
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,160
It's a different
phase in your life.
986
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:26,360
You meet new people
'cause you're a couple.
987
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:29,760
And then you just
let your old
friends slip away.
988
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:31,760
It won't be like that.
989
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:34,560
Well, if you've found the
right one, the person that
you click with,
990
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:36,160
it's the best
thing in the world.
991
00:55:36,280 --> 00:55:38,040
Well, I have. I know I have.
992
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,280
Oh, I'm sure. She's lovely.
993
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:42,200
Yeah, I think so.
994
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:44,000
- What about you?
- Me?
995
00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:47,320
Did you think you'd
found the right one
when you married Mr Hudson?
996
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:50,280
No. It was just
a whirlwind thing for us.
997
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:51,800
I knew it wouldn't work
998
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:53,920
- but I just got
sort of swept along.
- Right.
999
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:55,960
And then we moved to Florida.
1000
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:57,600
We had a fantastic time
1001
00:55:57,720 --> 00:55:59,800
but of course, I didn't know
what he was up to.
1002
00:55:59,920 --> 00:56:01,840
- The drugs.
- Drugs?
1003
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:03,360
He was running, um...
1004
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:05,120
Oh, God, what do you call it?
1005
00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:06,800
Um, a...
1006
00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:08,640
cartel.
1007
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,640
- And got in with
a really bad crowd.
- Right.
1008
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:14,080
And then I found out about
all the other women.
1009
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:16,720
I didn't have a clue.
1010
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:20,440
So when he was actually
arrested for blowing
someone's head off,
1011
00:56:21,720 --> 00:56:23,880
it was quite a relief,
to be honest.
1012
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:27,200
Right.
1013
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:29,680
It was purely physical
between me and Frank.
1014
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:32,000
We couldn't keep
our hands off each other.
1015
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:34,520
And,
um, there was one night...
1016
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:36,320
Oh, is that Sherlock?
1017
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:37,480
Is it?
1018
00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:41,320
No, it's Sherlock.
1019
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:01,760
There are going to be others.
1020
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:04,520
- Others?
- Victims. Women.
1021
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:06,480
Most ghosts tend to haunt
a single house.
1022
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:08,920
This ghost, however,
is willing to commute. Look.
1023
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:33,440
Mmm... not you.
1024
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:36,440
Not you. Not you.
Not you. Not you. Not you.
1025
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:38,720
Not you. Not you.
1026
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:41,400
Not you. Not you. Not you.
1027
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,400
Not you.
Not you. Not you. Not you.
1028
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:48,400
Not you. Not you. Not you.
1029
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:52,160
Not you. Not you. Not you.
Not you. Not you, you,
you or you. Or you.
1030
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:55,480
Or you. Not you. Not you.
Not you. Not you.
1031
00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:58,680
Not you. Not you.
1032
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:08,720
- Hi.
- Gail.
1033
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:15,960
Charlotte.
1034
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:18,520
Robyn.
1035
00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:23,360
Vicky.
1036
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:33,120
How did you meet?
1037
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:34,560
Came up to me in a pub.
1038
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:36,000
Same gym as me.
1039
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:37,440
We just got
chatting on the bus.
1040
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:38,880
Online.
1041
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:40,320
- Name?
- Told you.
1042
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:41,480
His name.
1043
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:43,160
- Oscar.
- Mike.
1044
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:44,360
Terry.
1045
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:46,640
Um, Love Monkey.
1046
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:49,720
- Your place?
-His place.
1047
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:52,160
Address?
1048
00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:57,800
Nothing happened.
1049
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:00,640
It was just very romantic.
1050
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:03,080
Four women in four nights.
He must have
something special.
1051
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:05,280
- He was very charming.
- Innocent.
1052
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:06,600
He was sweet.
1053
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:08,040
- He a lovely...
- You okay?
1054
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:11,520
Let your food go cold.
1055
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:12,920
Mrs Hudson will play hell.
1056
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:14,520
Not now, John.
1057
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:19,960
Sorry about that.
1058
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:22,200
He had a lovely manner.
1059
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:24,800
Different names,
different addresses.
1060
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:26,880
- Describe him.
- Short blond hair.
1061
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:28,280
Dark hair. Long.
1062
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:29,960
Ginger. I like gingers.
1063
00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:31,160
Couldn't tell.
1064
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:33,120
He had a mask on.
1065
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:37,120
He's stealing
the identity of corpses,
1066
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,320
getting their names
from the obituary columns.
1067
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:41,760
All single men.
1068
00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:43,160
He's using the dead man's flat
1069
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:44,880
under the assumption
it'll be empty for a while.
1070
00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:47,320
Free love nest.
1071
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:49,120
- I feel sick.
- It's gruesome.
1072
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:50,800
- That's awful.
- Clever.
1073
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,040
Bastard.
1074
00:59:57,080 --> 00:59:59,160
Hello, Tessa.
1075
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:03,360
Meanwhile, back to business.
No one wants to use
a dead man's home.
1076
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:08,600
At least not until
it's been cleared,
so he disguises himself,
1077
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:10,880
steals the man's home,
steals his identity.
1078
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,960
But only for one night.
1079
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:15,040
- And he's gone.
- He's not a ghost, John.
1080
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:17,440
He's a mayfly.
He lives for a day.
1081
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:22,280
So what was it he
was looking for?
1082
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:23,720
Job?
1083
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:24,960
- Gardener.
- Cook.
1084
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:26,720
- Private nurse.
- I do security work.
1085
01:00:26,840 --> 01:00:27,840
Maid.
1086
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:31,040
Obvious. You all work
for the same person.
1087
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,480
No, no. Not the same employer.
1088
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,240
Damn! Come on, we can do this.
1089
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,080
Ideal night out?
1090
01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:53,280
- Clay pigeon shooting.
- Line dancing.
1091
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,280
- Pictures.
- Wine in front of the telly.
1092
01:00:55,800 --> 01:00:56,800
Dungeon.
1093
01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:00,640
- Makeup?
- Clarins.
1094
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:02,600
- No7.
- Maybelline.
1095
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:04,640
- Nothing special.
- Whatever's cheap.
1096
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:06,440
Perfume?
1097
01:01:06,560 --> 01:01:08,200
Chanel.
1098
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:09,880
Chanel.
1099
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:11,040
Estee Lauder.
1100
01:01:12,480 --> 01:01:13,640
Ideal man?
1101
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:15,640
- George Clooney.
- Oh, no.
1102
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:16,960
Home-loving.
1103
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:18,160
He'd have to like cuddling.
1104
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:19,680
Caring.
1105
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:21,200
Ten things.
1106
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:23,560
One,
someone who isn't competitive
with other men.
1107
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:28,400
Two, someone who isn't
constantly trying to define
himself by his masculinity.
1108
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,640
There's a unifying factor,
there has to be.
1109
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:35,320
None of you
reported anything stolen.
1110
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:38,920
Security guard,
gardener, cook,
1111
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:40,520
maid, private nurse.
1112
01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:42,080
He's romancing his way
up the pecking order,
1113
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:43,960
somebody's pecking order.
Come on, think.
1114
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:45,360
Unless...
1115
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:48,600
Do you have a secret
you've never told anyone?
1116
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:50,440
No.
1117
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:51,960
- Gotcha.
- What do you mean?
1118
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,520
Everyone has secrets
and they all
replied too quickly.
1119
01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:55,880
- Got to go.
- See you.
1120
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:57,240
- No, wait.
- Bye-bye.
1121
01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:00,200
Sorry, sexy,
some secrets
have to stay secret.
1122
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:01,640
Enjoy the wedding.
1123
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:02,880
Yeah.
1124
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:06,120
Why? Why would he date
all of those women
1125
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:07,560
and not return their calls?
1126
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:08,800
You're missing the obvious,
mate.
1127
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:11,560
- Am I?
- He's a man.
1128
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,760
Why would he
change his identity?
1129
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:15,000
Maybe he's married.
1130
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:18,240
Oh.
1131
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,040
Married.
1132
01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:21,960
Obvious, really.
1133
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:24,520
Our mayfly man was trying to
escape the suffocating
chains of domesticity
1134
01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:26,280
and instead of endless nights
in watching the telly
1135
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:27,960
or going to barbeques
with the awful, dreadful,
1136
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:29,440
boring people he
couldn't stand,
1137
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:31,320
he used his wits, cleverness
and powers of disguise
1138
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:32,680
to play the field.
1139
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:33,840
He was...
1140
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:39,200
On second thoughts,
1141
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:41,600
I probably should have told
you about
The Elephant in the Room.
1142
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:43,720
However, it does help
to further illustrate
1143
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:46,760
how invaluable John is to me.
1144
01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:49,320
I can read a crime scene
the way he can
understand a human being.
1145
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:51,000
I used to think
that's what made me special.
1146
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:53,400
Quite frankly, I still do.
But a word to the wise.
1147
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:56,480
Should any of you require
the services of either of us,
1148
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:58,360
I will solve the your murder
1149
01:02:58,480 --> 01:03:01,160
but it takes John Watson
to save your life.
1150
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:02,560
Trust me on that.
I should know.
1151
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:04,960
He's saved mine so many times
and in so many ways.
1152
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:09,960
This blog
1153
01:03:10,080 --> 01:03:15,080
is the story of
two men and their
frankly ridiculous adventures.
1154
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:18,040
Of murder,
mystery and mayhem.
1155
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:22,360
But from now on,
there's a new story.
1156
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:25,440
A bigger adventure.
1157
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:28,960
Ladies and gentlemen,
1158
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,600
pray charge your glasses
and be upstanding.
1159
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:37,000
Today begin the adventures
of Mary Elizabeth Watson
1160
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:38,760
and John Hamish Watson.
1161
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:42,840
The two reasons why every
single one of us is...
1162
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:03,080
What did you say?
1163
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:05,400
You said,
1164
01:04:05,520 --> 01:04:08,520
"John Hamish Watson."
1165
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:11,640
You said that,
you said Hamish.
1166
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:13,960
This is a famous detective,
it's Sherlock Holmes
1167
01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:16,120
and his partner,
John Hamish Watson.
1168
01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:18,880
How did you know?
1169
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:21,240
How did you know
his middle name?
1170
01:04:21,360 --> 01:04:22,960
Never tells anyone,
he hates it.
1171
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:28,480
John H Watson?
1172
01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:30,640
Yep.
1173
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:38,720
- Henry?
- Shut up.
1174
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:41,880
- Humphrey?
- Shut up.
1175
01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:47,240
- Higgins?
-Go away!
1176
01:04:47,360 --> 01:04:49,480
Took him years
to confide in me.
1177
01:04:52,320 --> 01:04:53,800
That's my birth certificate.
1178
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:55,040
Yep.
1179
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:01,760
And the woman, she knew.
1180
01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:07,040
Hamish.
1181
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:08,600
John Hamish Watson.
1182
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:12,040
Just if you were
looking for baby names.
1183
01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:13,920
God knows where she is.
1184
01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:20,400
Out of my head, I am busy!
1185
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:24,360
There's only one time
that name's been made public.
1186
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:26,440
{\an8}Does it have to be
{\an8}on the invitation?
1187
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:28,160
{\an8}It's your name.
1188
01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:30,160
- It's traditional.
- It's funny.
1189
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:34,880
Enjoy the wedding.
1190
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:40,360
Enjoy the wedding.
1191
01:05:40,480 --> 01:05:41,600
The wedding!
1192
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:43,120
You knew about the wedding.
1193
01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:45,480
More importantly,
you'd seen
the wedding invitation.
1194
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:47,360
Now, barely a hundred people
had seen that invitation.
1195
01:05:47,480 --> 01:05:49,400
The Mayfly Man
only saw five women.
1196
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:51,040
For one person to
be in both groups...
1197
01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:53,640
could be a coincidence.
1198
01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:55,720
Oh, Sherlock.
1199
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:57,560
What do we say
about coincidence?
1200
01:05:57,680 --> 01:05:59,080
The universe is
rarely so lazy.
1201
01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:01,160
So, the balance of
probability is...
1202
01:06:01,280 --> 01:06:02,400
Someone went to great lengths
1203
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:04,240
to find out something
about this wedding.
1204
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:06,280
- What great lengths?
- They lied.
Assumed false identities.
1205
01:06:06,400 --> 01:06:08,360
- Which suggests?
- Criminal intent.
1206
01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:11,000
- Also suggests...
- Intelligence. Planning.
1207
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:13,440
Clearly.
But more importantly...
1208
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:16,480
The Mayfly Man.
1209
01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:18,880
The Mayfly Man is...
1210
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:21,120
...here today.
1211
01:06:21,240 --> 01:06:22,360
Ooh, sorry, I...
1212
01:06:25,280 --> 01:06:26,400
Another glass, sir?
1213
01:06:26,520 --> 01:06:28,360
Thank you, yes.
1214
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:30,680
Something is going to happen,
right here.
1215
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:34,800
Now, where were we?
1216
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:36,000
Could be any second.
1217
01:06:39,720 --> 01:06:41,480
You have control of the room.
1218
01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:44,160
Ah, yes, raising glasses
and standing up.
1219
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:45,680
Very good, thank you.
1220
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:47,200
Don't lose it.
1221
01:06:47,720 --> 01:06:49,440
And down again.
1222
01:06:57,720 --> 01:07:01,160
Ladies and gentlemen,
people tell you
not to milk a good speech.
1223
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:03,240
Get off early,
leave them laughing.
1224
01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:09,440
Wise advice I'll certainly
try to bear in
mind but for now...
1225
01:07:09,560 --> 01:07:12,840
Part two! Part two
is more action-based.
1226
01:07:12,960 --> 01:07:17,120
I'm going to walk around,
shake things up a bit.
1227
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:19,680
Who'd go to a wedding?
That's the question.
1228
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:24,000
Who would bother to go to
any lengths to get
themselves to a wedding?
1229
01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:27,720
Well, everyone.
1230
01:07:27,840 --> 01:07:29,360
Weddings are great!
Love a wedding.
1231
01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:31,240
- What's he doing?
- Something's wrong.
1232
01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:32,800
And John's great, too.
1233
01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:35,400
I haven't said that enough,
barely scratched the surface.
1234
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:40,360
I could go on all night about
the depth and
complexity of his...
1235
01:07:40,480 --> 01:07:42,800
-Jumpers.
- ...jumpers,
and he can cook...
1236
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:45,960
Does a thing,
1237
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:48,800
thing with peas... once.
1238
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:50,480
Might not be peas,
might not be him.
1239
01:07:50,600 --> 01:07:54,240
But he's got
a great singing voice
or somebody does...
1240
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:57,040
Too many,
too many, too many, too many!
1241
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:59,040
Sorry,
too many jokes about John.
1242
01:08:00,120 --> 01:08:01,680
Now, uh...
1243
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:02,880
Criminal intent.
1244
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:04,560
Where was I? Ah, yes.
1245
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:06,440
Extraordinary lengths.
1246
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:08,160
Speech! Speech.
1247
01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:09,840
Let's talk about...
1248
01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:12,440
All of which is
suggestive of...
1249
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:15,080
Murder.
1250
01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:17,640
Sorry, did I say "murder"?
I meant to say "marriage".
1251
01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:19,720
But, you know, they're...
1252
01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:21,800
quite similar procedures,
when you think about it,
1253
01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:26,120
the participants tend to know
each other and it's over when
one of them's dead.
1254
01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:28,000
In fairness,
murder is a lot quicker,
though.
1255
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:29,800
Janine, what about this one?
Acceptably hot?
1256
01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:31,400
More importantly,
his girlfriend's wearing
1257
01:08:31,520 --> 01:08:33,240
brand-new,
uncomfortable underwear
1258
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:34,920
and hasn't bothered to pick
this thread off of
the top of his jacket
1259
01:08:35,040 --> 01:08:36,800
or point out the grease smudge
on the back of his neck.
1260
01:08:36,920 --> 01:08:39,400
Currently, he's going home
alone. Also, he's
a comics and sci-fi geek,
1261
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:41,640
they're always
tremendously grateful
when you put the hours in.
1262
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:44,400
Jeff, the gents.
1263
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:46,640
- The loos, now, please.
- Greg.
1264
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:48,040
The loos, please.
1265
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:50,760
- Why?
- Oh, I don't know,
maybe it's your turn.
1266
01:08:50,880 --> 01:08:52,960
Yeah, actually,
now you mention it...
1267
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:55,440
Sherlock,
any chance of an end date
1268
01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:57,680
for this speech?
Gotta cut the cake.
1269
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,720
Oh! Ladies and gentlemen,
1270
01:08:59,840 --> 01:09:02,160
can't stand it when I finally
get the chance
to speak for once,
1271
01:09:02,280 --> 01:09:05,320
- Vatican Cameos.
- What did he say?
What does that mean?
1272
01:09:05,440 --> 01:09:07,240
Battle stations,
someone's going to die.
1273
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:08,480
What?
1274
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:10,680
Narrow it down.
1275
01:09:11,360 --> 01:09:12,520
Narrow it down.
1276
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:15,440
Narrow it down.
1277
01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:17,320
No!
1278
01:09:17,440 --> 01:09:19,960
No! Not you, not you.
1279
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:21,960
You.
1280
01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:24,840
It's always you.
1281
01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:27,160
John Watson,
you keep me right.
1282
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:31,520
- What do I do?
- You've already done it.
1283
01:09:31,640 --> 01:09:34,640
Don't solve the murder,
save the life.
1284
01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:36,520
Sorry.
1285
01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:38,960
Off-piste a bit,
back now, phew!
1286
01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:41,640
Let's play a game.
Let's play Murder.
1287
01:09:42,880 --> 01:09:44,520
Sherlock!
1288
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:47,880
Imagine someone's going to get
murdered at a wedding.
1289
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:49,360
Who exactly would you pick?
1290
01:09:49,480 --> 01:09:51,440
I think you're
a popular choice
at the moment, dear.
1291
01:09:51,560 --> 01:09:53,760
If someone could move
Mrs Hudson's glass just
slightly out of reach,
1292
01:09:53,880 --> 01:09:55,400
that would be lovely.
1293
01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:59,320
More importantly,
who could you only
kill at a wedding?
1294
01:10:01,320 --> 01:10:02,800
{\an8}Most people you can
{\an8}kill any old place.
1295
01:10:02,920 --> 01:10:04,680
{\an8}As a mental exercise,
{\an8}I have often planned
1296
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:06,280
{\an8}the murder of
{\an8}friends and colleagues.
1297
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:10,000
{\an8}Now, John I'd poison.
{\an8}Sloppy eater, dead easy.
1298
01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:12,640
{\an8}I've given him chemicals and
{\an8}compounds that way,
{\an8}he's never even noticed.
1299
01:10:12,760 --> 01:10:14,280
{\an8}He missed
{\an8}a whole Wednesday once,
{\an8}didn't have a clue.
1300
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:15,720
{\an8}Lestrade's so easy to kill,
1301
01:10:15,840 --> 01:10:17,040
{\an8}it's a miracle no one's
{\an8}succumbed to the temptation.
1302
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:18,480
{\an8}I've got a pair of keys
{\an8}to my brother's house,
1303
01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:20,000
{\an8}I could easily break in there
{\an8}and asphyxiate him...
1304
01:10:20,120 --> 01:10:21,520
{\an8}If the whim arose.
1305
01:10:21,640 --> 01:10:23,520
He's pissed, isn't he? Ow!
1306
01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:27,880
So, once again,
who could you only kill here?
1307
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:29,200
Clearly,
it's a rare opportunity,
1308
01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:30,920
so it's someone
who doesn't get out much.
1309
01:10:31,040 --> 01:10:32,520
{\an8}Someone for whom
{\an8}a planned social encounter
1310
01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:35,120
{\an8}known about months in advance
{\an8}is an exception.
1311
01:10:35,240 --> 01:10:37,320
{\an8}Has to be
{\an8}a unique opportunity.
1312
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:41,000
{\an8}And since killing someone
{\an8}in public is difficult,
1313
01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:42,920
{\an8}killing them in
{\an8}private isn't an option.
1314
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:46,120
Someone who lives
in an inaccessible
or unknown location, then.
1315
01:10:46,240 --> 01:10:48,400
Someone private, perhaps,
1316
01:10:48,520 --> 01:10:51,400
obsessed with
personal security...
1317
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:53,440
Possibly
someone under threat.
1318
01:10:58,120 --> 01:10:59,280
Major James Sholto, who he?
1319
01:10:59,400 --> 01:11:01,280
- I don't think he's coming.
- He'll be there.
1320
01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:03,240
- Where are you
living these days?
- Oh,
1321
01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:05,200
way out in
the middle of nowhere.
1322
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:06,760
The press and the family's
giving him hell,
1323
01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:08,160
he gets more death
threats than you.
1324
01:11:10,880 --> 01:11:12,200
Oh, a recluse?
1325
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:14,240
Small household staff.
1326
01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:16,360
- Job?
- Gardener,
cook, private nurse, maid.
1327
01:11:16,480 --> 01:11:18,040
High turnover for
additional security.
1328
01:11:18,160 --> 01:11:19,400
I do security work.
1329
01:11:19,520 --> 01:11:21,200
Probably have signed
confidentiality agreements.
1330
01:11:21,320 --> 01:11:22,720
Do you have a secret
you've never told anyone?
1331
01:11:22,840 --> 01:11:24,680
-No.
- There's another
question that remains,
1332
01:11:24,800 --> 01:11:26,440
{\an8}however,
{\an8}rather a big one, a huge one.
1333
01:11:26,560 --> 01:11:28,480
{\an8}How would you do it?
{\an8}How do you kill
{\an8}someone in public?
1334
01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:29,880
{\an8}There has to be a way.
1335
01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:32,040
- This has been planned.
- Mr Holmes, Mr Holmes!
1336
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:33,560
Oh, hello again, Archie.
What's your theory?
1337
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:35,240
Get this right and there's
a headless nun in it for you.
1338
01:11:35,360 --> 01:11:36,560
The invisible man could do it.
1339
01:11:36,680 --> 01:11:38,000
The who, the what,
the when, the why, the where?
1340
01:11:38,120 --> 01:11:40,000
The invisible man
with the invisible knife,
1341
01:11:40,120 --> 01:11:41,640
the one who tried to
kill the guardsman.
1342
01:11:59,160 --> 01:12:01,440
Bainbridge? Bainbridge!
1343
01:12:08,800 --> 01:12:11,680
Oh, not just planned,
planned and rehearsed.
1344
01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:16,640
Ladies and gentlemen,
there will now be
a short interlude.
1345
01:12:16,760 --> 01:12:18,280
To the bride and groom!
1346
01:12:20,120 --> 01:12:22,920
To the bride and the groom.
1347
01:12:23,040 --> 01:12:24,480
Major Sholto's
going to be murdered.
1348
01:12:24,600 --> 01:12:26,600
I don't know how or by whom
but it's going to happen.
1349
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:29,600
Excuse me,
coming through, consulting.
1350
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,360
- Stay here.
- Please be careful.
1351
01:12:31,480 --> 01:12:33,480
Excuse me, coming through.
1352
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:36,040
Excuse me.
1353
01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:39,360
Sorry, one moment.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
1354
01:12:39,480 --> 01:12:41,600
What's happening?
What's going on?
1355
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,600
How can you not
remember which room?
You remember everything!
1356
01:13:07,720 --> 01:13:09,760
- I have to delete something!
- 207!
1357
01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:19,440
Major Sholto?
1358
01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:20,800
Major Sholto?
1359
01:13:22,440 --> 01:13:23,720
Major Sholto!
1360
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,600
If someone's about
to make an attempt on my life,
1361
01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:28,040
it won't be the first time.
I'm ready.
1362
01:13:28,160 --> 01:13:29,800
Major, let us in!
1363
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:32,320
- Kick the door down.
-I really wouldn't.
1364
01:13:32,440 --> 01:13:35,880
I have a gun in my hand
and a lifetime of
unfortunate reflexes.
1365
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:37,640
You're not safe in there.
Whoever's after you,
1366
01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:39,280
we know that a locked room
doesn't stop him.
1367
01:13:39,400 --> 01:13:41,440
The invisible man
with the invisible knife?
1368
01:13:41,560 --> 01:13:42,920
I don't know how he does it
so I can't stop him
1369
01:13:43,040 --> 01:13:44,040
and that means
he'll do it again.
1370
01:13:44,160 --> 01:13:45,160
Solve it, then.
1371
01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:46,920
I... I'm sorry?
1372
01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:50,440
You're the famous
Mr Holmes.
Solve the case, on you go.
1373
01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:52,680
Tell me how he did it
and I'll open the door.
1374
01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:56,560
Please, this is no time for
games. Just let us in,
you're in danger!
1375
01:13:56,680 --> 01:13:58,120
So are you,
so long as you're here.
1376
01:13:58,240 --> 01:14:01,120
Please, leave me.
1377
01:14:01,240 --> 01:14:04,680
Despite my reputation,
I really don't approve of
collateral damage.
1378
01:14:04,800 --> 01:14:06,320
- Solve it.
- Sorry?
1379
01:14:06,440 --> 01:14:07,760
Solve it and
he'll open the door,
like he said.
1380
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:09,280
I couldn't solve it before,
how can I solve it now?
1381
01:14:09,400 --> 01:14:10,960
- Because it matters now!
- What are you talking about?
1382
01:14:11,080 --> 01:14:12,680
What's she talking about?
Get your wife under control.
1383
01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:13,920
She's right.
1384
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:16,200
- Oh, you've changed.
- No, she is. Shut up.
1385
01:14:16,320 --> 01:14:18,600
You are not a puzzle solver,
you never have been.
1386
01:14:18,720 --> 01:14:21,040
You're a drama queen. Now,
there is a man in
there about to die,
1387
01:14:21,160 --> 01:14:22,760
the game is on, solve it!
1388
01:14:38,880 --> 01:14:39,880
Bainbridge?
1389
01:14:43,040 --> 01:14:44,040
Bainbridge!
1390
01:14:46,720 --> 01:14:47,800
Though, in fairness,
1391
01:14:47,920 --> 01:14:49,040
- he's a drama queen, too.
- Yeah, I know.
1392
01:14:49,160 --> 01:14:51,240
Major Sholto,
no one's coming to kill you.
1393
01:14:51,360 --> 01:14:53,640
I'm afraid you've
already been killed
several hours ago.
1394
01:14:55,040 --> 01:14:57,120
- What did you say?
- Don't take off your belt.
1395
01:14:57,600 --> 01:14:58,640
My belt?
1396
01:14:58,760 --> 01:15:00,080
His belt, yes.
1397
01:15:00,200 --> 01:15:02,120
Bainbridge was stabbed
hours before we even saw him,
1398
01:15:02,240 --> 01:15:03,760
but it was through his belt.
1399
01:15:03,880 --> 01:15:05,480
Tight belt,
worn high on the waist.
1400
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:07,520
Very easy to
push a small blade
through the fabric,
1401
01:15:07,640 --> 01:15:08,720
and you wouldn't even feel it.
1402
01:15:08,840 --> 01:15:10,480
The belt would bind
the flesh together
1403
01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:12,040
- when it was tight.
- Exactly.
1404
01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:13,840
- And when you took it off...
- Delayed action stabbing.
1405
01:15:13,960 --> 01:15:16,080
All the time in the world
to create an alibi.
1406
01:15:16,200 --> 01:15:17,360
Major Sholto!
1407
01:15:17,480 --> 01:15:18,680
So...
1408
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:23,960
I was to be
killed by my uniform.
1409
01:15:24,840 --> 01:15:26,360
How appropriate.
1410
01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:32,120
He solved the case, Major,
you're supposed to
open the door now.
1411
01:15:32,240 --> 01:15:33,640
A deal is a deal.
1412
01:15:33,760 --> 01:15:35,520
I'm not even supposed
to have this any more.
1413
01:15:35,640 --> 01:15:38,280
They gave me
special
dispensation to keep it.
1414
01:15:38,400 --> 01:15:40,520
I couldn't imagine life
out of this uniform,
1415
01:15:40,640 --> 01:15:42,880
I suppose,
given the circumstances,
I don't have to.
1416
01:15:46,080 --> 01:15:49,760
When so many want you dead,
it hardly seems
good manners to argue.
1417
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:58,120
Whatever you're
doing in there, James,
stop it right now.
1418
01:15:58,240 --> 01:15:59,600
I will kick this door down.
1419
01:15:59,720 --> 01:16:02,120
Mr Holmes,
you and I are similar,
I think.
1420
01:16:02,240 --> 01:16:03,680
Yes, I think we are.
1421
01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:05,480
There's a proper time to die,
isn't there?
1422
01:16:05,600 --> 01:16:06,760
Of course there is.
1423
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:08,800
And one should
embrace it when it comes.
1424
01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:11,920
Like a soldier.
1425
01:16:12,040 --> 01:16:14,560
Of course one should
but not at John's wedding!
1426
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:20,200
We wouldn't do that,
would we, you and me?
1427
01:16:20,320 --> 01:16:24,160
We would never do
that to John Watson.
1428
01:16:28,800 --> 01:16:30,760
- I'm going to break it down.
- Wait,
wait, you won't have to.
1429
01:16:30,880 --> 01:16:32,000
Hmm?
1430
01:16:38,080 --> 01:16:40,440
I believe I am in need
of medical attention.
1431
01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:43,240
I believe I'm your doctor.
1432
01:17:00,200 --> 01:17:01,960
Yeah, pretty good, just...
1433
01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:04,840
- Hold your nerve
when you're turning.
- Why do we have to rehearse?
1434
01:17:04,960 --> 01:17:07,360
Because we are about
to dance together in public
1435
01:17:07,480 --> 01:17:08,680
and your skills are appalling.
1436
01:17:10,880 --> 01:17:12,520
- Well, you're a good teacher.
- Hmm.
1437
01:17:12,640 --> 01:17:14,640
And you're a brilliant dancer.
1438
01:17:14,760 --> 01:17:17,920
- I'll let you in on something,
Janine.
- Go on, then.
1439
01:17:18,040 --> 01:17:20,480
- I love dancing.
I've always loved it.
- Seriously?
1440
01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:21,600
Watch out.
1441
01:17:26,200 --> 01:17:27,760
Oh!
1442
01:17:27,880 --> 01:17:29,160
That rarely comes
up in crime work
1443
01:17:29,280 --> 01:17:31,440
but, you know, I live in hope
of the right case.
1444
01:17:31,560 --> 01:17:33,320
I
wish you weren't...
1445
01:17:34,840 --> 01:17:36,520
whatever it is you are.
1446
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:38,640
- I know.
- Well!
1447
01:17:38,760 --> 01:17:40,200
Glad to see you've pulled,
Sherlock,
1448
01:17:40,320 --> 01:17:42,120
what with murderers
running riot at my wedding.
1449
01:17:42,240 --> 01:17:45,000
One murder...
One nearly murderer.
He loves to exaggerate.
1450
01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:46,200
You should try
living with him.
1451
01:17:46,720 --> 01:17:48,520
Sherlock.
1452
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:51,760
- Got him for you.
- Ah!
The photographer, excellent.
1453
01:17:51,880 --> 01:17:55,560
Thank you. Um, may I have
a look at your camera?
1454
01:17:55,680 --> 01:17:58,600
Uh, what's this about?
I was halfway home.
1455
01:17:58,720 --> 01:18:00,000
You should
have driven faster.
1456
01:18:01,000 --> 01:18:04,360
Ah, yes. Yes! Very good!
1457
01:18:04,480 --> 01:18:07,240
There, you see? Perfect.
1458
01:18:07,360 --> 01:18:09,960
What is? You going to tell us?
1459
01:18:10,080 --> 01:18:11,320
Try looking yourself.
1460
01:18:11,840 --> 01:18:13,400
Who? For what?
1461
01:18:14,880 --> 01:18:16,600
Is the murderer in
these photographs?
1462
01:18:16,720 --> 01:18:18,800
It's not what's
in the photographs,
it's what's not in them.
1463
01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:20,480
Not in any of them.
1464
01:18:20,600 --> 01:18:23,360
Sherlock,
the showing-off thing,
we've discussed it before.
1465
01:18:25,560 --> 01:18:29,160
There is always
a man at a wedding
who is not in any photograph,
1466
01:18:29,280 --> 01:18:30,920
who can go anywhere,
1467
01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:33,680
even carry an equipment bag
around with him if he likes.
1468
01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:36,040
And you never
even see his face.
1469
01:18:36,160 --> 01:18:37,160
You only ever see...
1470
01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:47,120
the camera.
1471
01:18:47,240 --> 01:18:48,720
What are you doing?
What is this?
1472
01:18:48,840 --> 01:18:51,360
Jonathan Small,
today's substitute
wedding photographer,
1473
01:18:51,480 --> 01:18:54,080
known to us as the Mayfly Man.
1474
01:18:54,200 --> 01:18:58,240
His brother was one
of the raw recruits
killed in that incursion.
1475
01:18:58,360 --> 01:18:59,880
Johnny sought
revenge on Sholto,
1476
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:04,000
worked his way
through Sholto's staff,
found what he needed.
1477
01:19:04,120 --> 01:19:05,960
An invitation to a wedding.
1478
01:19:06,080 --> 01:19:08,720
The one time Sholto wouldhave to be out in public.
1479
01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:10,800
So, he made his plan
1480
01:19:10,920 --> 01:19:13,520
and rehearsed the murder,
1481
01:19:13,640 --> 01:19:16,520
making sure ofevery last detail.
1482
01:19:29,960 --> 01:19:32,920
Brilliant, ruthless
and almost
certainly a monomaniac.
1483
01:19:33,040 --> 01:19:35,440
Though, in fairness,
his photographs are
actually quite good.
1484
01:19:35,560 --> 01:19:37,160
Everything you need's on that.
1485
01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:39,720
You probably ought to
arrest him or something.
1486
01:19:41,160 --> 01:19:43,080
- Do you always
carry handcuffs?
- Down, girl.
1487
01:19:43,200 --> 01:19:44,600
Come on, quick.
1488
01:19:44,720 --> 01:19:46,320
It's not me you should
be arresting, Mr Holmes.
1489
01:19:46,440 --> 01:19:49,040
Oh, I don't do the arresting,
I just farm that out.
1490
01:19:49,160 --> 01:19:51,120
Sholto,
he's the killer, not me.
1491
01:19:52,200 --> 01:19:53,640
I should have
killed him quicker.
1492
01:19:56,480 --> 01:19:59,120
I shouldn't have
tried to be clever.
1493
01:19:59,240 --> 01:20:01,280
You should have driven faster.
1494
01:20:10,880 --> 01:20:12,040
Right.
1495
01:21:15,880 --> 01:21:17,320
Really?
1496
01:21:20,200 --> 01:21:22,600
Whoo! Yeah!
1497
01:21:23,400 --> 01:21:25,200
Whoo!
1498
01:21:30,560 --> 01:21:32,840
Ladies and gentlemen,
just one last thing
1499
01:21:32,960 --> 01:21:34,480
before
the evening begins properly.
1500
01:21:34,600 --> 01:21:38,960
Apologies for earlier,
a crisis arose
and was dealt with.
1501
01:21:39,080 --> 01:21:42,360
More importantly, however,
today we saw two
people make vows.
1502
01:21:42,480 --> 01:21:45,240
I have never made a vow in
my life and after tonight
I never will again.
1503
01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:49,800
So, here in front of you all,
my first and last vow.
1504
01:21:50,720 --> 01:21:52,040
Mary and John...
1505
01:21:53,360 --> 01:21:56,720
Whatever it takes,
whatever happens,
1506
01:21:56,840 --> 01:22:01,360
from now on, I swear
I will always
be there, always,
1507
01:22:01,480 --> 01:22:03,240
for all three of you.
1508
01:22:03,360 --> 01:22:05,840
Uh,
I'm sorry, I mean two of you.
All two of you.
1509
01:22:05,960 --> 01:22:07,720
Both of you,
in fact, I just miscounted.
1510
01:22:07,840 --> 01:22:11,240
Anyway, it's time for dancing.
Play the music again, please.
Thank you.
1511
01:22:11,360 --> 01:22:13,520
Okay everybody, just dance.
Don't be shy.
1512
01:22:13,640 --> 01:22:15,960
- PLAYS)
- Dancing, please! Very good!
1513
01:22:16,080 --> 01:22:18,200
Sorry,
that was one more deduction
than I was really expecting.
1514
01:22:18,320 --> 01:22:20,040
- Deduction?
- Increased appetite.
1515
01:22:20,160 --> 01:22:22,040
- I'm starving!
- Change of taste perception.
1516
01:22:22,160 --> 01:22:24,360
Ugh, I chose this wine.
It's bloody awful!
1517
01:22:24,480 --> 01:22:27,240
You were sick this morning.
You assumed it was
just wedding doubts.
1518
01:22:27,360 --> 01:22:29,200
You got angry with me
when I mentioned it to you.
1519
01:22:29,320 --> 01:22:30,960
All the signs are there.
1520
01:22:31,080 --> 01:22:32,160
The signs?
1521
01:22:33,640 --> 01:22:36,240
- The signs of three.
- What?
1522
01:22:36,360 --> 01:22:38,400
Mary, I think you should
do a pregnancy test.
1523
01:22:40,800 --> 01:22:42,800
The statistics for
the first trimester are...
1524
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:44,000
Shut up!
1525
01:22:45,040 --> 01:22:48,400
- Just shut up.
- Sorry.
1526
01:22:48,520 --> 01:22:50,800
How did he notice before me?
I'm a bloody doctor.
1527
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:52,240
- It's your day off.
- It's your day off!
1528
01:22:52,360 --> 01:22:53,520
- Stop panicking.
- I'm not panicking.
1529
01:22:53,640 --> 01:22:54,920
I'm pregnant, I'm panicking.
1530
01:22:55,040 --> 01:22:57,000
Don't panic.
None of you panic.
1531
01:22:58,120 --> 01:22:59,920
Absolutely no reason to panic.
1532
01:23:00,040 --> 01:23:02,200
- Oh,
and you'd know, of course?
- Yes, I would.
1533
01:23:02,320 --> 01:23:03,720
You're already
the best parents in the world,
1534
01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:04,880
look at all
the practise you've had.
1535
01:23:05,000 --> 01:23:06,240
The practise?
1536
01:23:06,360 --> 01:23:07,520
Well,
you're hardly going to need
me around
1537
01:23:07,640 --> 01:23:09,280
now that you've got
a real baby on the way.
1538
01:23:26,480 --> 01:23:27,880
- Dance!
- Hmm?
1539
01:23:28,000 --> 01:23:29,880
Both of you now, go dance.
We can't just stand here,
1540
01:23:30,000 --> 01:23:31,600
people will wonder
what we're talking about.
1541
01:23:31,720 --> 01:23:33,480
- Right.
- What about you?
1542
01:23:33,600 --> 01:23:35,080
Well,
we can't all three dance,
there are limits.
1543
01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:37,320
Yes, there are.
1544
01:23:37,440 --> 01:23:38,840
Come on, husband, let's go.
1545
01:23:38,960 --> 01:23:40,880
- This isn't a waltz, is it?
- No.
1546
01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:42,480
Don't worry, Mary,
I have been tutoring him.
1547
01:23:42,600 --> 01:23:44,400
He did, you know.
Baker Street,
behind closed curtains.
1548
01:23:44,520 --> 01:23:47,840
Mrs Hudson came in one time.
Don't know how
those rumours started.
114526
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