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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:41,713 --> 00:02:43,291 Have you seen... I was told that if... 2 00:02:43,382 --> 00:02:46,299 I was late again I would be summarily dismissed. 3 00:03:35,977 --> 00:03:37,685 Mmm. No, no. 4 00:03:54,162 --> 00:03:55,620 Just a moment. 5 00:03:56,957 --> 00:03:59,448 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 6 00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:00,823 Just a moment. 7 00:04:02,088 --> 00:04:04,412 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 8 00:04:04,506 --> 00:04:05,917 Just a moment. 9 00:04:07,926 --> 00:04:10,251 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 10 00:04:10,345 --> 00:04:11,674 Just a moment. 11 00:04:12,723 --> 00:04:14,763 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 12 00:04:15,643 --> 00:04:17,101 Just a moment. 13 00:04:17,186 --> 00:04:19,178 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 14 00:04:20,022 --> 00:04:22,311 Hello, Peter. What's happening? 15 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,519 Ahh... we have sort of a problem here. 16 00:04:25,611 --> 00:04:28,018 Yeah. You apparently didn't put... 17 00:04:28,113 --> 00:04:30,439 one of the new cover sheets on your T.P.S. Reports. 18 00:04:30,533 --> 00:04:34,365 Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. L... I forgot. 19 00:04:34,453 --> 00:04:36,281 Mmm... yeah. 20 00:04:36,373 --> 00:04:37,831 You see, we're putting the cover sheets... 21 00:04:37,914 --> 00:04:40,786 on all T.P.S. Reports now before they go out. 22 00:04:40,877 --> 00:04:43,628 Did you see the memo about this? 23 00:04:43,713 --> 00:04:46,963 Yeah. Yeah, I have the memo right here. 24 00:04:47,050 --> 00:04:48,460 I just, uh, forgot... 25 00:04:48,551 --> 00:04:50,924 but, uh, it's not shipping out till tomorrow... 26 00:04:51,013 --> 00:04:52,422 so there's no problem. 27 00:04:52,513 --> 00:04:54,257 Yeah. 28 00:04:54,349 --> 00:04:55,724 If you could just go ahead and make sure... 29 00:04:55,809 --> 00:04:58,975 you do that from now on, that would be great... 30 00:04:59,061 --> 00:05:00,971 and, uh, I'll go ahead and make sure... 31 00:05:01,064 --> 00:05:03,187 you get another copy of that memo, OK? 32 00:05:03,274 --> 00:05:06,275 No. I have the memo. I've got it... lt's right... 33 00:05:06,361 --> 00:05:08,934 Hello, Phil. What's happening? 34 00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:10,110 Um... 35 00:05:10,199 --> 00:05:13,234 I came by here yesterday... 36 00:05:13,326 --> 00:05:16,162 Four teams out on the Spanish point... 37 00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:18,405 discovered a shipwreck off the coast... 38 00:05:18,499 --> 00:05:19,662 Milton? 39 00:05:20,584 --> 00:05:21,828 Hi. Uh... 40 00:05:21,918 --> 00:05:23,911 could you turn that down just a little bit? 41 00:05:24,004 --> 00:05:26,211 But I was told that I could listen... 42 00:05:26,299 --> 00:05:28,919 to the radio at a reasonable volume from 9:00 to 11:00. 43 00:05:29,009 --> 00:05:31,501 Yeah. I know you're allowed to. 44 00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:34,964 I was just thinkin' maybe like a personal favour. 45 00:05:35,057 --> 00:05:38,675 Well, l... l...I told Bill if Sandra's going to... 46 00:05:38,769 --> 00:05:42,184 listen to her headphones while she's filing... 47 00:05:42,272 --> 00:05:43,850 then I should be able to listen to the radio... 48 00:05:43,941 --> 00:05:45,352 while I'm collating... 49 00:05:45,443 --> 00:05:47,435 so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio. 50 00:05:47,528 --> 00:05:48,607 Yeah. All right. OK. 51 00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:50,819 I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume... 52 00:05:50,907 --> 00:05:51,986 Thanks. 53 00:05:52,074 --> 00:05:53,403 From 9:00 to 11:00. 54 00:05:53,493 --> 00:05:54,904 Hi, Peter. 55 00:05:54,995 --> 00:05:56,951 What's happening? 56 00:05:57,037 --> 00:05:59,529 We need to talk about your T.P.S. Reports. 57 00:05:59,624 --> 00:06:01,949 Yeah. The cover sheet. I know. I know. 58 00:06:02,043 --> 00:06:03,122 Bill talked to me about it. 59 00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:05,749 Yeah. Did you get that memo? 60 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:08,081 Yeah, I got the memo, and I understand the policy... 61 00:06:08,175 --> 00:06:10,748 and the problem is just that I forgot the one time... 62 00:06:10,844 --> 00:06:12,670 and I've already taken care of it... 63 00:06:12,762 --> 00:06:14,471 so it's not even really a problem anymore. 64 00:06:14,556 --> 00:06:17,342 Ah! Yeah. 65 00:06:17,433 --> 00:06:18,928 It's just we're putting new cover sheets... 66 00:06:19,019 --> 00:06:21,426 on all the T.P.S. Reports before they go out now... 67 00:06:21,521 --> 00:06:23,893 so if you could go ahead and try to remember... 68 00:06:23,982 --> 00:06:26,555 to do that from now on, that'd be great. 69 00:06:26,651 --> 00:06:27,814 All right! 70 00:06:32,574 --> 00:06:34,401 Just a moment. 71 00:06:35,827 --> 00:06:38,283 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 72 00:06:38,372 --> 00:06:39,570 Peter Gibbons. 73 00:06:40,665 --> 00:06:41,745 Yes. 74 00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:43,708 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 75 00:06:43,795 --> 00:06:44,873 Just a moment. 76 00:06:44,962 --> 00:06:46,372 I have the memo. 77 00:06:48,299 --> 00:06:50,209 No. Not again. L... 78 00:06:50,302 --> 00:06:52,589 Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? 79 00:06:52,678 --> 00:06:54,636 I swear to God, one of these days... 80 00:06:54,722 --> 00:06:57,759 I just kick this piece of shit out the window. 81 00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,759 You and me both, man. 82 00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:01,050 That thing is lucky I'm not armed. 83 00:07:03,481 --> 00:07:04,513 Piece of shit. 84 00:07:04,608 --> 00:07:06,480 PEGG "Samir... 85 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,068 "Na-Na... 86 00:07:09,154 --> 00:07:10,897 "Na-Naga..." 87 00:07:10,988 --> 00:07:12,732 - No. Thanks. - Unh-huh! 88 00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,069 Please. 89 00:07:14,158 --> 00:07:17,243 "Michael... Bolton"? 90 00:07:17,329 --> 00:07:18,492 That's me. 91 00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:20,655 Wow! Is that your real name? 92 00:07:20,748 --> 00:07:22,159 Yeah. Ahem. 93 00:07:22,792 --> 00:07:24,998 So are you related to that singer guy? 94 00:07:25,086 --> 00:07:26,877 No. It's just a coincidence. 95 00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:28,126 Oh. 96 00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:32,837 No one in this country can pronounce my name right. 97 00:07:33,637 --> 00:07:35,047 It's not that hard. 98 00:07:35,138 --> 00:07:37,261 "Na-ee" and then "anajaad." Nayanajaad. 99 00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:39,342 At least your name isn't Michael Bolton. 100 00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:42,226 You know, there's nothing wrong with that name. 101 00:07:42,312 --> 00:07:44,222 There was nothing wrong with it... 102 00:07:44,315 --> 00:07:45,974 until I was about twelve years old... 103 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,272 and that no-talent ass clown became famous... 104 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,475 and started winning Grammys. 105 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:50,649 Hmm. 106 00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:54,735 Well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael? 107 00:07:54,825 --> 00:07:56,983 Why should I change? He's the one who sucks. 108 00:07:57,328 --> 00:07:58,407 Hey, guys. 109 00:07:58,496 --> 00:08:00,073 What's up, G? 110 00:08:00,164 --> 00:08:02,073 Wanna go to Chotchkie's, get some coffee? 111 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,660 Oh, it's a little early. 112 00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:06,123 I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it. 113 00:08:06,212 --> 00:08:07,291 PEGG Uh-oh. 114 00:08:07,380 --> 00:08:10,214 Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. 115 00:08:15,096 --> 00:08:17,254 Boy, I tell ya, some days. 116 00:08:17,348 --> 00:08:19,340 One of these days, it's just gonna be like... 117 00:08:22,229 --> 00:08:23,343 Heh heh heh! 118 00:08:23,438 --> 00:08:25,347 So, can I get you gentlemen something more to drink... 119 00:08:25,439 --> 00:08:26,519 or maybe something to nibble on... 120 00:08:26,608 --> 00:08:29,099 some pizza shooters, shrimp poppers, or extreme fajitas? 121 00:08:29,861 --> 00:08:31,141 - Just coffee. - OK! 122 00:08:31,237 --> 00:08:33,064 Sounds like a case of the Mondays. 123 00:08:37,994 --> 00:08:41,909 What if we're still doin' this when we're fifty? 124 00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:44,667 It would be nice to have that kind of job security. 125 00:08:45,501 --> 00:08:46,913 Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday. 126 00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:48,912 I can tell already. 127 00:08:49,005 --> 00:08:51,082 I'm gonna end up doin' it, because, uh... 128 00:08:51,175 --> 00:08:52,966 because I'm a big pussy... 129 00:08:53,051 --> 00:08:55,091 which is why I work at Initech to begin with. 130 00:08:55,178 --> 00:08:56,804 Uh, yeah, well, I work at Initech... 131 00:08:56,889 --> 00:08:58,927 and I don't consider myself a pussy, OK? 132 00:08:59,015 --> 00:09:01,341 Yes. I am also not a pussy. 133 00:09:01,435 --> 00:09:03,558 They're gonna find out the hard way I'm not a pussy... 134 00:09:03,645 --> 00:09:05,269 if they don't start treating their software people better. 135 00:09:05,355 --> 00:09:06,898 That's right. 136 00:09:06,982 --> 00:09:08,559 They don't understand. 137 00:09:08,650 --> 00:09:10,727 I could program a virus that'd rip that place off big time. 138 00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:12,362 Yeah. 139 00:09:12,446 --> 00:09:13,608 Big time. 140 00:09:15,366 --> 00:09:16,564 Whoa! 141 00:09:16,659 --> 00:09:17,822 There she is. 142 00:09:18,911 --> 00:09:21,485 Peter, you know, you always talk about this girl. 143 00:09:22,332 --> 00:09:24,573 If you're so obsessed with her, why don't you just ask her out? 144 00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:25,830 Oh, I can't do that. 145 00:09:26,794 --> 00:09:28,075 I'm just another asshole customer. 146 00:09:28,170 --> 00:09:30,709 You can't just walk up to a waitress and ask her out. 147 00:09:30,798 --> 00:09:32,839 Besides, I'm still trying to work it out with Anne. 148 00:09:33,675 --> 00:09:36,594 Oh, that reminds me. I can't play poker on Friday. 149 00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:38,007 Why not? 150 00:09:38,097 --> 00:09:42,095 I'm gonna see this occupational hypnotherapist with Anne. 151 00:09:42,185 --> 00:09:44,510 Dude, an occupational hypnotherapist? 152 00:09:44,604 --> 00:09:46,977 I know. Anne wants me to go. 153 00:09:47,066 --> 00:09:48,345 She thinks it might help. 154 00:09:49,192 --> 00:09:51,019 Um... 155 00:09:51,111 --> 00:09:53,483 You know, sometimes I think that... 156 00:09:53,572 --> 00:09:56,063 I get thinking that she's cheating on me. 157 00:09:56,158 --> 00:09:57,569 Yeah. I know what you mean. 158 00:09:57,660 --> 00:09:59,153 Yeah. 159 00:10:00,371 --> 00:10:01,534 What is that supposed to mean? 160 00:10:02,872 --> 00:10:04,035 Nothing. 161 00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:07,243 Why don't you just tell Anne that you're not into hypnosis... 162 00:10:07,336 --> 00:10:08,415 and you wanna play poker with us? 163 00:10:08,504 --> 00:10:10,081 I can't do that. She'll get all pissed off... 164 00:10:10,172 --> 00:10:14,502 and, besides, I think the guy might actually be able to help. 165 00:10:14,593 --> 00:10:16,171 I mean, he did help Anne lose weight. 166 00:10:17,054 --> 00:10:18,429 Peter, she's anorexic. 167 00:10:18,513 --> 00:10:20,257 Yeah, I know. 168 00:10:20,349 --> 00:10:21,678 The guy's really good. 169 00:10:22,851 --> 00:10:25,343 Yeah, well, I don't think any occupational hypnotherapist... 170 00:10:25,438 --> 00:10:27,098 is gonna help you solve any of your problems. 171 00:10:27,190 --> 00:10:28,933 Hey, and speaking of problems... 172 00:10:29,025 --> 00:10:30,483 what's this I hear about you having problems... 173 00:10:30,568 --> 00:10:31,766 with your T.P.S. Reports? 174 00:10:31,861 --> 00:10:34,233 Yeah. Didn't you get that memo? 175 00:10:36,658 --> 00:10:38,448 Hey! Hey, guys! Peter! 176 00:10:38,534 --> 00:10:40,159 Is that Smykowski? 177 00:10:40,996 --> 00:10:42,158 - Samir! - What's he doing? 178 00:10:42,246 --> 00:10:43,906 Oh, probably workin' on another heart attack. 179 00:10:43,998 --> 00:10:45,742 I've been lookin' all over for you guys! 180 00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:48,585 Have you seen this? I knew it. I knew it. 181 00:10:48,670 --> 00:10:50,295 What? It's a staff meeting. So what? 182 00:10:50,380 --> 00:10:52,917 So what? We're all screwed. That's what. 183 00:10:53,007 --> 00:10:54,632 They're gonna downsize Initech. 184 00:10:54,718 --> 00:10:56,924 What are you talking about? How do you know that? 185 00:10:57,011 --> 00:10:59,253 How do I know? They're bringing in a consultant. 186 00:10:59,347 --> 00:11:00,427 That's how I know. 187 00:11:00,515 --> 00:11:02,223 That's what this staff meeting's all about. 188 00:11:02,308 --> 00:11:04,100 It happened at Initrode last year. 189 00:11:04,186 --> 00:11:05,929 You have to interview with this consultant. 190 00:11:06,021 --> 00:11:07,764 They call them efficiency experts... 191 00:11:07,856 --> 00:11:08,971 but what you're really doing... 192 00:11:09,066 --> 00:11:10,441 is interviewing for your own job. 193 00:11:10,526 --> 00:11:11,806 Every week you say you're gonna lose your job... 194 00:11:11,902 --> 00:11:13,064 and you're still here. 195 00:11:13,153 --> 00:11:15,526 Not this time. I bet I'm the first one laid off. 196 00:11:15,614 --> 00:11:17,737 The thought of having to go to the state unemployment office... 197 00:11:17,825 --> 00:11:19,864 and stand in line with those scumbags... 198 00:11:19,952 --> 00:11:21,327 Shit. 199 00:11:22,663 --> 00:11:24,323 You know there are people in this world... 200 00:11:24,415 --> 00:11:26,821 that don't have to put up with all this shit? 201 00:11:26,916 --> 00:11:29,076 Like that guy that invented the pet rock. 202 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,328 You see, that's what you have to do. 203 00:11:33,173 --> 00:11:35,250 You have to use your mind... 204 00:11:35,343 --> 00:11:37,418 and come up with some really great idea like that... 205 00:11:37,511 --> 00:11:39,801 and you can make millions... Never have to work again. 206 00:11:39,889 --> 00:11:42,011 You think the pet rock was a really great idea? 207 00:11:42,099 --> 00:11:43,926 Sure it was. 208 00:11:44,018 --> 00:11:46,141 The guy made a million dollars. 209 00:11:48,731 --> 00:11:51,483 You know, I had an idea like that once... 210 00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:53,026 a long time ago. 211 00:11:54,195 --> 00:11:55,654 Really? What was it, Tom? 212 00:11:56,363 --> 00:11:58,238 Well, all right. 213 00:11:58,324 --> 00:12:02,322 It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. 214 00:12:03,913 --> 00:12:06,202 You see, it would be this mat... 215 00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:08,449 that you would put on the floor... 216 00:12:08,543 --> 00:12:12,755 and it would have different conclusions written on it... 217 00:12:12,839 --> 00:12:15,129 that you could jump to. 218 00:12:20,181 --> 00:12:22,421 That is the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom. 219 00:12:22,515 --> 00:12:26,216 Yes. Yes, it's horrible, this idea. 220 00:12:28,689 --> 00:12:30,266 Uh, look... 221 00:12:30,357 --> 00:12:31,685 I gotta get outta here. 222 00:12:32,526 --> 00:12:33,522 I'll see you guys later... 223 00:12:33,611 --> 00:12:35,520 if I still have a job. 224 00:12:36,363 --> 00:12:37,442 Yeah. 225 00:12:37,531 --> 00:12:39,323 Our high school guidance counsellor... 226 00:12:39,408 --> 00:12:41,733 used to ask us what you would do if you had a million dollars... 227 00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:42,907 didn't have to work... 228 00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:46,198 and whatever you'd say was supposed to be your career. 229 00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:47,749 So if you wanted to fix old cars... 230 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,578 then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic. 231 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:50,747 So what did you say? 232 00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,710 I never had an answer. 233 00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,416 I guess that's why I'm working at Initech. 234 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,967 No. You're working at Initech... 235 00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:59,127 'cause that question is bullshit to begin with. 236 00:12:59,220 --> 00:13:00,844 If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors... 237 00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:03,256 because no one would clean shit if they had a million dollars. 238 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,721 You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? 239 00:13:05,809 --> 00:13:08,930 I would invest half of it in glorious mutual funds... 240 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,430 and then take the other half to my friend Asadulah... 241 00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:12,603 who works in securities... 242 00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,815 Samir. Samir, you're missing the point. 243 00:13:14,902 --> 00:13:16,480 The point of the exercise is you're supposed to figure out... 244 00:13:16,571 --> 00:13:19,027 what you would want to do if... 245 00:13:20,157 --> 00:13:23,029 "PC load letter"? What the fuck does that mean? 246 00:13:45,184 --> 00:13:47,971 Hey, Peter, man! Check out channel nine! 247 00:13:48,062 --> 00:13:49,259 Check out this chick! 248 00:13:49,354 --> 00:13:51,762 Damn it! Lawrence, can't you just pretend... 249 00:13:51,857 --> 00:13:53,814 like we can't hear each other through the wall? 250 00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:56,143 Oh, sorry, man! Anne over there or somethin'? 251 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,399 No, but... 252 00:13:58,364 --> 00:14:00,937 If you want to talk to me, just come over. 253 00:14:04,328 --> 00:14:07,365 Hey, man, check this out, dude. 254 00:14:09,708 --> 00:14:12,200 The key is early detection. 255 00:14:12,295 --> 00:14:13,375 Tumours that are detected... 256 00:14:13,463 --> 00:14:15,419 Aw, jeez, Lawrence. 257 00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,250 Sorry, man. I thought you'd want to see this. 258 00:14:18,385 --> 00:14:19,760 Doesn't that chick look like Anne? 259 00:14:19,844 --> 00:14:21,422 Yeah. 260 00:14:21,513 --> 00:14:22,710 A little bit. I... 261 00:14:22,805 --> 00:14:24,596 Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. 262 00:14:24,682 --> 00:14:26,058 You two still goin' out? 263 00:14:26,142 --> 00:14:27,767 Yeah. 264 00:14:27,853 --> 00:14:29,346 I guess. L... I don't know. 265 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,726 Sometimes I get the feeling like she's cheating on me. 266 00:14:31,815 --> 00:14:33,973 Yeah. I get that feeling, too, man. 267 00:14:35,444 --> 00:14:36,902 What do you mean by that? 268 00:14:36,986 --> 00:14:38,528 I don't know, man. 269 00:14:39,322 --> 00:14:41,565 I just get that feeling lookin' at her, like... 270 00:14:41,659 --> 00:14:43,983 she's the type of chick that just... 271 00:14:44,994 --> 00:14:46,157 Uhh. 272 00:14:49,082 --> 00:14:51,241 Oh, I'm sorry, man. Look, l... l... 273 00:14:51,334 --> 00:14:53,374 You know, I'm talkin' outta my ass. 274 00:14:53,461 --> 00:14:54,790 Forget it. Don't worry. It's all right. 275 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,589 Just... I had a rough day. 276 00:14:56,674 --> 00:14:58,297 Tell me about it, man. 277 00:14:58,383 --> 00:14:59,842 Ohh... 278 00:15:00,928 --> 00:15:02,672 Ooh, I gotta wake my ass up... 279 00:15:02,764 --> 00:15:05,764 at six a. m. Every day this week... 280 00:15:05,849 --> 00:15:07,973 drag up to Las Golindas. 281 00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:10,848 I'm doin' the drywall up there at the new McDonald's. 282 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:12,643 Let me ask you something. 283 00:15:13,982 --> 00:15:16,225 When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well... 284 00:15:16,319 --> 00:15:17,434 does anyone ever say to you... 285 00:15:17,529 --> 00:15:20,019 "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays"? 286 00:15:21,658 --> 00:15:22,821 No. 287 00:15:23,659 --> 00:15:25,071 No, man. 288 00:15:26,370 --> 00:15:27,746 Shit, no, man. 289 00:15:27,830 --> 00:15:30,404 You'd get your ass kicked, sayin' something like that, man. 290 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,078 Huh. 291 00:15:32,169 --> 00:15:33,578 We still goin' fishin' this weekend? 292 00:15:33,669 --> 00:15:35,746 Ah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday. 293 00:15:35,839 --> 00:15:36,918 I just know it. 294 00:15:37,007 --> 00:15:38,417 Well, you can get out of that easily. 295 00:15:38,508 --> 00:15:40,547 Yeah? How? 296 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:41,798 Well... 297 00:15:42,512 --> 00:15:44,256 when a boss wants you to work on Saturday... 298 00:15:44,347 --> 00:15:47,301 he generally asks you at the end of the day, right? 299 00:15:47,392 --> 00:15:48,471 Yeah. 300 00:15:48,559 --> 00:15:50,553 So all you gotta do is avoid him... that's all right... 301 00:15:50,646 --> 00:15:52,852 I got it... on the last few hours on Friday... 302 00:15:52,939 --> 00:15:54,766 duck out early... 303 00:15:54,858 --> 00:15:56,436 turn off your answering machine... 304 00:15:56,527 --> 00:15:58,186 you should be home free, man. 305 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:02,315 That's a really good idea. 306 00:16:03,199 --> 00:16:04,363 Fuckin' "A," man. 307 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:09,953 Lawrence, what would you do if you had a million dollars? 308 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,950 I'll tell you what I'd do, man. 309 00:16:13,127 --> 00:16:15,285 Two chicks at the same time, man. 310 00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,212 That's it? 311 00:16:21,303 --> 00:16:22,464 If you had a million dollars... 312 00:16:22,552 --> 00:16:24,593 you'd do two chicks at the same time? 313 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:27,432 Damn straight. I've always wanted to do that, man. 314 00:16:27,516 --> 00:16:30,268 I think if I were a millionaire, I could hook that up, too... 315 00:16:30,353 --> 00:16:32,096 'cause chicks dig dudes with money. 316 00:16:32,187 --> 00:16:33,563 Well, not all chicks. 317 00:16:33,648 --> 00:16:36,400 The type of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do. 318 00:16:36,484 --> 00:16:37,598 Good point. 319 00:16:37,693 --> 00:16:39,603 What about you, now? What would you do? 320 00:16:39,696 --> 00:16:41,072 Besides two chicks at the same time? 321 00:16:41,156 --> 00:16:42,318 Well, yeah. 322 00:16:42,407 --> 00:16:43,949 Nothing. 323 00:16:44,951 --> 00:16:46,031 Nothin', huh? 324 00:16:46,119 --> 00:16:48,277 I would relax. 325 00:16:48,371 --> 00:16:50,529 I would sit on my ass all day. 326 00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:53,786 I would do nothing. 327 00:16:53,877 --> 00:16:56,450 You don't need a million dollars to do nothin', man. 328 00:16:56,546 --> 00:16:58,004 Take a look at my cousin. 329 00:16:58,089 --> 00:17:00,166 He's broke, don't do shit. 330 00:17:03,512 --> 00:17:05,967 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 331 00:17:06,056 --> 00:17:07,466 Just a moment. 332 00:17:07,557 --> 00:17:09,966 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 333 00:17:10,061 --> 00:17:11,933 Just a moment. 334 00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:14,262 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 335 00:17:14,356 --> 00:17:15,934 Just a moment. 336 00:17:16,859 --> 00:17:18,602 So, you should ask yourself... 337 00:17:18,693 --> 00:17:21,231 with every decision you make... 338 00:17:21,321 --> 00:17:23,445 "Is this good for the company? 339 00:17:23,532 --> 00:17:25,157 "Am I helping with..." 340 00:17:25,242 --> 00:17:26,736 Is that the guy? 341 00:17:26,827 --> 00:17:28,950 Yeah. We're screwed. 342 00:17:29,038 --> 00:17:31,659 OK, then, um... 343 00:17:32,541 --> 00:17:35,163 I'd like to go ahead and welcome, uh... 344 00:17:35,253 --> 00:17:37,578 a new member to our team here. 345 00:17:37,672 --> 00:17:39,001 This is, uh... 346 00:17:40,174 --> 00:17:41,584 Bob Slydell. 347 00:17:43,219 --> 00:17:45,129 Yeah. Uh... 348 00:17:45,222 --> 00:17:47,628 Bob is a consultant. 349 00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:51,305 Yeah. He's gonna be sort of, uh... 350 00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:53,933 helping us out... 351 00:17:54,021 --> 00:17:55,433 a little here... 352 00:17:55,524 --> 00:17:56,934 asking some questions... 353 00:17:57,025 --> 00:17:58,484 maybe seeing if there are some ways... 354 00:17:58,568 --> 00:18:01,272 we can make things run a little more smoothly... 355 00:18:01,362 --> 00:18:02,525 around here. 356 00:18:03,615 --> 00:18:05,359 Yeah. 357 00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:07,738 Oh, and remember, next Friday... 358 00:18:07,827 --> 00:18:10,153 is Hawaiian shirt day. 359 00:18:11,998 --> 00:18:15,746 So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and, uh... 360 00:18:15,835 --> 00:18:17,413 wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. 361 00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:21,299 And I said I don't care if they lay me off, either. 362 00:18:21,382 --> 00:18:22,581 Because I told Bill... 363 00:18:22,676 --> 00:18:25,084 that if they move my desk one more time... 364 00:18:25,178 --> 00:18:27,931 then I'm... I'm quitting. I'm going to quit... 365 00:18:28,015 --> 00:18:29,474 and I told Dom, too... 366 00:18:29,558 --> 00:18:32,761 because they've moved my desk four times already this year... 367 00:18:32,853 --> 00:18:35,011 and I used to be over by the window... 368 00:18:35,105 --> 00:18:38,309 and I could see the squirrels, and they were married... 369 00:18:38,401 --> 00:18:40,607 but then they switched from the Swingline... 370 00:18:40,694 --> 00:18:43,102 to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler... 371 00:18:43,197 --> 00:18:45,106 because it didn't bind up as much... 372 00:18:45,198 --> 00:18:47,737 and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler. 373 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:48,907 OK, Milton. 374 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,070 No, it's not OK, because if they make me... 375 00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:54,580 If they take my stapler, then I'll... I'll... I'll... 376 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,908 I'll set the building on fire. 377 00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:59,245 OK, well, that sounds great. 378 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,082 Uh, I'll talk to you later, all right? Bye. 379 00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:02,337 Peter... 380 00:19:18,316 --> 00:19:19,514 Good-bye. 381 00:19:41,966 --> 00:19:43,341 Come on. 382 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,469 Oh, for cryin'... 383 00:20:09,243 --> 00:20:11,699 Hello, Peter. What's happening? 384 00:20:11,788 --> 00:20:13,413 Um... 385 00:20:13,498 --> 00:20:15,407 I'm gonna need you... 386 00:20:15,499 --> 00:20:17,327 to go ahead and come in tomorrow... 387 00:20:17,419 --> 00:20:21,546 so if you could be here around... 388 00:20:21,631 --> 00:20:24,086 nine, that would be great. 389 00:20:24,175 --> 00:20:25,373 OK? 390 00:20:27,137 --> 00:20:29,093 Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. 391 00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:30,924 Um... 392 00:20:31,016 --> 00:20:33,767 I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in... 393 00:20:33,852 --> 00:20:36,390 on Sunday, too, OK? 394 00:20:36,479 --> 00:20:38,105 We, um... 395 00:20:38,189 --> 00:20:39,933 Iost some people this week... 396 00:20:40,025 --> 00:20:42,101 and, uh... 397 00:20:42,194 --> 00:20:44,186 we need to sort of play catch-up. 398 00:20:44,279 --> 00:20:45,524 Thanks. 399 00:20:49,534 --> 00:20:51,077 So I was sitting in my cubicle today... 400 00:20:51,161 --> 00:20:55,159 and I realised, ever since I started working, um... 401 00:20:56,458 --> 00:20:58,914 every single day of my life has been worse than... 402 00:20:59,002 --> 00:21:00,711 the day before it. 403 00:21:01,673 --> 00:21:05,373 So that means that every single day that you see me... 404 00:21:06,344 --> 00:21:08,217 that's on the worst day of my life. 405 00:21:08,971 --> 00:21:10,430 What about today? 406 00:21:10,514 --> 00:21:11,759 Is today the worst day of your life? 407 00:21:11,849 --> 00:21:14,471 - Yeah. - Wow. That's messed up. 408 00:21:17,355 --> 00:21:18,848 I'm sorry. 409 00:21:18,939 --> 00:21:20,138 Go on. 410 00:21:20,233 --> 00:21:23,768 Is there any way that you could sort of... 411 00:21:23,862 --> 00:21:26,613 just zonk me out so that, like, I don't know... 412 00:21:26,698 --> 00:21:29,105 that I'm at work... in here? 413 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,612 Could I come home... 414 00:21:30,702 --> 00:21:34,117 and think that I've been fishing all day or something? 415 00:21:34,205 --> 00:21:36,911 That's... really not what I do, Peter. 416 00:21:37,001 --> 00:21:38,245 Heh. 417 00:21:38,334 --> 00:21:39,497 However... 418 00:21:40,503 --> 00:21:43,041 the good news is, I think I can help you. 419 00:21:44,007 --> 00:21:46,165 I want you to do something for me, Peter. 420 00:21:47,844 --> 00:21:50,051 I want you to try and relax. 421 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,602 I want you to relax every muscle in your body... 422 00:21:56,687 --> 00:22:01,016 beginning with your toes to your fingertips. 423 00:22:03,777 --> 00:22:05,936 Now I want you to relax your legs. 424 00:22:07,322 --> 00:22:09,944 You're beginning to feel your eyelids getting heavy... 425 00:22:11,077 --> 00:22:13,283 as you slip deeper and deeper... 426 00:22:13,371 --> 00:22:16,621 into a state of complete relaxation. 427 00:22:16,707 --> 00:22:20,871 All your cares and concerns are disappearing. 428 00:22:20,961 --> 00:22:22,455 Deeper and deeper. 429 00:22:22,546 --> 00:22:24,456 Way down. 430 00:22:24,549 --> 00:22:26,755 Your concern about your job... 431 00:22:27,552 --> 00:22:29,758 melts away... 432 00:22:29,846 --> 00:22:31,754 way... 433 00:22:31,847 --> 00:22:33,259 way down. 434 00:22:33,349 --> 00:22:34,677 Unh. 435 00:22:37,311 --> 00:22:39,186 Now, when I count backwards from three... 436 00:22:39,898 --> 00:22:42,649 you'll be in a state of complete relaxation. 437 00:22:42,733 --> 00:22:45,688 Your worries, cares, and inhibitions will be gone... 438 00:22:46,529 --> 00:22:48,404 and you will remain in that state... 439 00:22:49,616 --> 00:22:51,904 until I snap my fingers. 440 00:22:51,993 --> 00:22:53,452 Three. 441 00:22:53,537 --> 00:22:55,197 Deeper and deeper. 442 00:22:55,289 --> 00:22:56,912 Way... 443 00:22:56,998 --> 00:22:58,457 way down. 444 00:22:58,542 --> 00:23:00,535 Two. 445 00:23:00,628 --> 00:23:02,620 Deeper and deeper... 446 00:23:02,713 --> 00:23:05,548 W-w-w-way down... 447 00:23:07,593 --> 00:23:09,965 Whu... whu... 448 00:23:10,053 --> 00:23:11,251 One. 449 00:23:12,431 --> 00:23:15,183 Oh, my God! Dr. Swanson! 450 00:23:16,226 --> 00:23:17,934 Ew... ew... 451 00:23:18,020 --> 00:23:19,265 - Is he breathing? - Call 911! 452 00:23:19,355 --> 00:23:23,104 Oh! Where's the phone? Where's the goddamn phone? 453 00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:50,671 Ahh... 454 00:23:58,186 --> 00:24:00,308 Yeah, hi, it's Bill Lumbergh. 455 00:24:00,396 --> 00:24:01,594 It's about... 456 00:24:01,689 --> 00:24:03,433 ten o'clock. 457 00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:04,936 Yeah. Just, uh... 458 00:24:05,026 --> 00:24:06,401 wondering where you are. 459 00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:12,115 Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumbergh again. 460 00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:13,114 Uh... 461 00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:14,779 I just wanted to make sure you knew... 462 00:24:14,870 --> 00:24:17,325 that we did start at the, uh... 463 00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:19,787 usual time this morning. 464 00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:23,078 Yeah. It isn't a half day or anything like that... 465 00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:25,127 so if you could just go ahead... 466 00:24:25,213 --> 00:24:27,206 and get here as soon as possible... 467 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:29,173 that would be terrific. 468 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:36,803 Ahh... 469 00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,902 Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lum... 470 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:54,241 Yeah. It's... Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumber... 471 00:24:54,327 --> 00:24:56,118 Yeah. It's me again. 472 00:24:56,203 --> 00:24:59,039 Uh, I was away from my desk for a minute. 473 00:24:59,124 --> 00:25:02,291 Just checking in. 474 00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:04,581 Hello? 475 00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:06,331 Peter, what's going on? 476 00:25:06,423 --> 00:25:07,586 Huh? 477 00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:10,081 It's three-thirty. Why aren't you at work? 478 00:25:11,511 --> 00:25:13,089 Because l... l... 479 00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:14,590 I didn't feel like it. 480 00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:16,759 Peter, what's gotten into you? 481 00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:18,843 First, you just sit there while Dr. Swanson dies... 482 00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:21,771 then you walk out and embarrass me in front of my friends... 483 00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:23,515 and don't blame this on hypnosis, either. 484 00:25:23,607 --> 00:25:25,398 That's total bull... 485 00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:33,572 Listen, asshole. Nobody hangs up on me. 486 00:25:33,659 --> 00:25:35,117 We're through. 487 00:25:35,202 --> 00:25:37,112 Oh, and one more thing... 488 00:25:37,205 --> 00:25:39,279 I've been cheating on you! 489 00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:47,172 So, from now on, only use the new time sheets... 490 00:25:47,256 --> 00:25:51,752 if you've worked on two or more job codes in one day... 491 00:25:51,844 --> 00:25:54,798 and you need the extra columns to fit it all in. 492 00:25:54,889 --> 00:25:56,169 Otherwise, use the old time sheets... 493 00:25:56,265 --> 00:25:57,760 Where's Peter? 494 00:25:57,851 --> 00:25:59,260 I heard he didn't show up this weekend. 495 00:25:59,351 --> 00:26:00,431 Uh, I don't know. 496 00:26:00,519 --> 00:26:02,014 ...really, really help us out. 497 00:26:02,105 --> 00:26:03,598 Who's that guy? 498 00:26:03,689 --> 00:26:07,355 So, uh... any questions? 499 00:26:20,999 --> 00:26:22,410 Hi. I'm Peter. 500 00:26:22,501 --> 00:26:23,579 Hi. Can I help you? 501 00:26:23,668 --> 00:26:24,783 What are you doin' for lunch today? 502 00:26:24,878 --> 00:26:28,412 Uh, well, our specials today are blackened chicken. 503 00:26:28,506 --> 00:26:30,795 It's actually right there on the board. Excuse me. 504 00:26:33,928 --> 00:26:35,257 Hey, look who's back! 505 00:26:35,347 --> 00:26:37,055 Table for three to... 506 00:26:39,893 --> 00:26:41,802 I was askin' what you were doin' for lunch. 507 00:26:41,895 --> 00:26:43,519 Would you like to have lunch with me? 508 00:26:45,107 --> 00:26:46,305 Are you... are you serious? 509 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:47,563 Yeah. 510 00:26:48,735 --> 00:26:51,856 Yeah. L... I don't think I'm supposed to do that. 511 00:26:52,490 --> 00:26:54,862 Oh. OK, well, I'll tell you what I'll do. 512 00:26:54,951 --> 00:26:56,361 I'm gonna go next door and get a table... 513 00:26:56,452 --> 00:26:58,111 and if you'd like to join me, uh... 514 00:26:58,203 --> 00:26:59,449 no big deal, all right? 515 00:26:59,538 --> 00:27:01,413 And if not, that's cool, too. 516 00:27:01,499 --> 00:27:02,696 - OK? - OK. 517 00:27:02,791 --> 00:27:03,906 All right. 518 00:27:04,919 --> 00:27:05,998 When you say, "next door..." 519 00:27:06,087 --> 00:27:08,578 do you mean Chili's or Flinger's? 520 00:27:08,673 --> 00:27:10,297 Flinger's. 521 00:27:10,382 --> 00:27:11,546 OK. 522 00:27:12,843 --> 00:27:15,050 What you do at Initech... 523 00:27:15,138 --> 00:27:17,924 is you take the specifications from the customers... 524 00:27:18,015 --> 00:27:20,423 and you bring them down to the software engineers? 525 00:27:20,518 --> 00:27:22,760 Yes. Y-yes. That's... that's right. 526 00:27:22,854 --> 00:27:24,478 Well, then I just have to ask... 527 00:27:24,564 --> 00:27:25,762 why couldn't the customers... 528 00:27:25,857 --> 00:27:29,392 just take them directly to the software people, huh? 529 00:27:29,486 --> 00:27:31,525 Well, I'll tell you why. 530 00:27:32,864 --> 00:27:34,442 Uh, because... 531 00:27:34,533 --> 00:27:37,782 engineers are not good at dealing with customers. 532 00:27:37,868 --> 00:27:39,529 Uh-huh. So... 533 00:27:40,539 --> 00:27:45,200 you physically take the specs from the customer? 534 00:27:46,169 --> 00:27:47,367 Well... 535 00:27:48,797 --> 00:27:51,916 no. My secretary does that or the fax. 536 00:27:52,008 --> 00:27:53,716 Huh. 537 00:27:53,802 --> 00:27:55,510 So then you must physically bring them... 538 00:27:55,596 --> 00:27:56,627 to the software people. 539 00:27:56,722 --> 00:27:57,837 Well... 540 00:27:59,224 --> 00:28:00,304 no. 541 00:28:00,392 --> 00:28:01,637 I mean... 542 00:28:01,726 --> 00:28:03,269 sometimes. 543 00:28:03,354 --> 00:28:07,600 What... what would you say you do here? 544 00:28:08,692 --> 00:28:10,769 Well, look, I already told you. 545 00:28:10,862 --> 00:28:13,103 I deal with the goddamn customers... 546 00:28:13,196 --> 00:28:14,988 so the engineers don't have to. 547 00:28:15,074 --> 00:28:17,113 I have people skills. 548 00:28:17,201 --> 00:28:19,159 I am good at dealing with people! 549 00:28:19,245 --> 00:28:20,620 Can't you understand that? 550 00:28:20,705 --> 00:28:23,112 What the hell is wrong with you people? 551 00:28:23,207 --> 00:28:24,406 L... 552 00:28:31,048 --> 00:28:32,128 Let's see... 553 00:28:32,216 --> 00:28:34,423 you are... 554 00:28:34,510 --> 00:28:35,791 Michael... 555 00:28:37,221 --> 00:28:39,927 - Bolton? - Yeah. 556 00:28:41,350 --> 00:28:42,513 Is that your real name? 557 00:28:43,269 --> 00:28:44,432 Yeah. 558 00:28:46,481 --> 00:28:48,520 Are you any relation to the pop singer? 559 00:28:48,608 --> 00:28:50,601 No, it's... it's just a coincidence. 560 00:28:50,694 --> 00:28:52,236 Ha ha. To be honest with you... 561 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:53,945 I love his music. I do. 562 00:28:54,031 --> 00:28:56,153 - I'm a Michael Bolton fan. - Me, too. 563 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:57,901 For my money, I don't know if it gets any better... 564 00:28:57,993 --> 00:29:00,449 than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman." 565 00:29:00,538 --> 00:29:02,446 But you must really love his music, huh? 566 00:29:05,376 --> 00:29:06,656 Yeah, he's... he's... 567 00:29:06,752 --> 00:29:08,412 he's pretty... He's pretty good, I guess. 568 00:29:08,504 --> 00:29:10,081 You're goddamn right, he is. 569 00:29:10,172 --> 00:29:12,628 Right. 570 00:29:12,716 --> 00:29:15,173 So tell me, what's your favourite song of his? 571 00:29:16,094 --> 00:29:17,505 Mmm... 572 00:29:20,266 --> 00:29:22,259 I don't... I don't know. Heh heh. 573 00:29:22,351 --> 00:29:24,677 I mean, I guess I sort of like them all. 574 00:29:24,770 --> 00:29:27,890 That's a riot. I'm the exact same way. 575 00:29:27,982 --> 00:29:29,228 But it must be twice as hard for you... 576 00:29:29,317 --> 00:29:30,727 being you have the same name as him. 577 00:29:30,817 --> 00:29:33,689 I celebrate the guy's entire catalogue. 578 00:29:33,780 --> 00:29:36,271 Anyway, let's get down to business, Michael. 579 00:29:36,366 --> 00:29:38,524 You know, you can just call me Mike. 580 00:29:43,998 --> 00:29:45,077 Hi. 581 00:29:45,165 --> 00:29:46,446 Hey. 582 00:29:48,378 --> 00:29:51,248 I wonder if I'm allowed to, uh, wear this in here? 583 00:29:52,089 --> 00:29:53,418 I think it would be OK. 584 00:29:55,093 --> 00:29:56,172 Would you like to sit down? 585 00:29:56,261 --> 00:29:57,506 OK. 586 00:29:58,680 --> 00:29:59,842 Ahh. 587 00:30:01,349 --> 00:30:02,429 Wow! 588 00:30:02,517 --> 00:30:05,268 This place is really... nice. 589 00:30:05,353 --> 00:30:07,642 Yeah. Is it? 590 00:30:07,731 --> 00:30:09,937 Yeah, my God, compared to Chotchkie's! 591 00:30:10,025 --> 00:30:12,350 I like the uniforms better, anyways. 592 00:30:13,195 --> 00:30:14,274 I like yours. 593 00:30:14,363 --> 00:30:15,525 Ugh! 594 00:30:18,785 --> 00:30:20,361 "We're not in Kansas anymore." 595 00:30:20,452 --> 00:30:22,492 Yeah. 596 00:30:22,579 --> 00:30:24,952 Really. Ha ha. 597 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:26,451 It's on your... 598 00:30:27,793 --> 00:30:29,951 Ohh! Yeah. That's... 599 00:30:30,045 --> 00:30:31,919 That's, uh... 600 00:30:32,006 --> 00:30:34,959 That's one of my... My pieces of flair. 601 00:30:35,050 --> 00:30:36,129 What's a "piece of flair"? 602 00:30:36,218 --> 00:30:38,212 Oh, it's, uh, where, you know... 603 00:30:38,304 --> 00:30:41,838 like these suspenders and, uh, buttons, they're all sort of... 604 00:30:41,932 --> 00:30:43,973 We're actually required to wear... 605 00:30:44,059 --> 00:30:47,014 um, fifteen pieces of flair. 606 00:30:47,105 --> 00:30:49,262 It's really stupid, actually. 607 00:30:49,356 --> 00:30:50,555 Do you get to pick 'em yourself? 608 00:30:50,650 --> 00:30:52,109 Yeah, yeah, we do. 609 00:30:52,193 --> 00:30:53,308 Although I didn't actually choose these. 610 00:30:53,403 --> 00:30:57,697 I just sort of grabbed, you know, fifteen buttons. 611 00:30:57,782 --> 00:31:00,534 I don't even know what they say. I don't really care. 612 00:31:01,203 --> 00:31:02,827 I don't really like talking about my flair. 613 00:31:02,912 --> 00:31:04,287 OK. 614 00:31:04,372 --> 00:31:07,374 So, where do you, work, Peter? 615 00:31:07,459 --> 00:31:08,952 Initech. 616 00:31:09,043 --> 00:31:10,835 And... Yeah? What... what do you do there? 617 00:31:11,922 --> 00:31:13,582 I sit in a cubicle... 618 00:31:13,673 --> 00:31:16,674 and I update bank software for the 2000 switch. 619 00:31:18,095 --> 00:31:19,209 What's that? 620 00:31:19,304 --> 00:31:21,428 Well, see, they wrote all this bank software... 621 00:31:21,515 --> 00:31:23,424 and, uh, to save space... 622 00:31:23,516 --> 00:31:25,260 they used two digits for the date instead of four. 623 00:31:25,352 --> 00:31:28,270 So like 98 instead of 1998. 624 00:31:28,356 --> 00:31:31,558 Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code... 625 00:31:31,650 --> 00:31:34,437 and, uh... It doesn't really matter. 626 00:31:34,528 --> 00:31:37,399 I, uh, I don't like my job, and, uh... 627 00:31:37,489 --> 00:31:39,778 I don't think I'm gonna go anymore. 628 00:31:41,035 --> 00:31:42,280 You're just not gonna go? 629 00:31:42,370 --> 00:31:43,531 Yeah. 630 00:31:43,620 --> 00:31:44,783 Won't you get fired? 631 00:31:45,706 --> 00:31:46,904 I don't know. 632 00:31:46,999 --> 00:31:50,783 But I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go. 633 00:31:51,962 --> 00:31:52,959 So you're gonna quit? 634 00:31:53,046 --> 00:31:56,214 Nah-uh. Not really. Uh... 635 00:31:56,301 --> 00:31:57,878 I'm just gonna stop going. 636 00:32:00,179 --> 00:32:01,259 What? 637 00:32:01,347 --> 00:32:03,423 Uh, when did you decide all that? 638 00:32:03,516 --> 00:32:04,596 About an hour ago. 639 00:32:04,683 --> 00:32:06,095 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 640 00:32:06,185 --> 00:32:07,348 An hour ago. 641 00:32:08,688 --> 00:32:10,230 So you're gonna get another job? 642 00:32:10,315 --> 00:32:12,438 I don't think I'd like another job. 643 00:32:12,525 --> 00:32:16,358 Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and... 644 00:32:16,446 --> 00:32:18,936 You know, I've never really liked paying bills. 645 00:32:19,031 --> 00:32:20,526 I don't think I'm gonna do that, either. 646 00:32:22,578 --> 00:32:23,692 Ahh... 647 00:32:23,787 --> 00:32:25,862 well, so what do you want to do? 648 00:32:25,955 --> 00:32:27,912 I want to take you out to dinner... 649 00:32:27,999 --> 00:32:30,288 and then I want to go back to my apartment and watch "Kung Fu." 650 00:32:30,377 --> 00:32:31,706 Do you ever watch "Kung Fu"? 651 00:32:33,838 --> 00:32:35,499 I love "Kung Fu." 652 00:32:35,591 --> 00:32:37,832 - Channel 39. - Totally. 653 00:32:37,926 --> 00:32:39,670 You should come over and watch "Kung Fu" tonight. 654 00:32:39,762 --> 00:32:41,719 - OK. - Great. 655 00:32:41,805 --> 00:32:43,928 OK. Can we order lunch first? 656 00:32:44,016 --> 00:32:45,558 - Yeah. - OK. 657 00:33:01,033 --> 00:33:03,322 Took a stapler off my desk... 658 00:33:09,917 --> 00:33:12,622 Anyway, sounds great, Bob. See you in a few. 659 00:33:15,298 --> 00:33:17,753 Hi, Milton. What's happening? 660 00:33:17,842 --> 00:33:19,420 Nothing. 661 00:33:19,511 --> 00:33:21,421 I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead... 662 00:33:21,513 --> 00:33:23,754 and move your desk again, so... 663 00:33:23,848 --> 00:33:26,601 if you could go ahead and get it as far back... 664 00:33:26,684 --> 00:33:28,512 against that wall as possible... 665 00:33:28,603 --> 00:33:29,848 that would be great. 666 00:33:29,938 --> 00:33:31,432 No, because I was... 667 00:33:31,523 --> 00:33:32,981 That way, we'll have some room... 668 00:33:33,066 --> 00:33:34,858 for some of these boxes and things... 669 00:33:34,943 --> 00:33:38,062 we need to put in here, and, uh... 670 00:33:38,154 --> 00:33:41,570 Oh. Oh, there it is. 671 00:33:41,658 --> 00:33:44,327 Here, let me just go ahead and get that from you. 672 00:33:46,496 --> 00:33:47,777 Great. 673 00:33:48,958 --> 00:33:52,207 So if you could just get to that as soon as possible... 674 00:33:52,293 --> 00:33:54,999 that would be terrific, OK? 675 00:33:55,089 --> 00:33:57,757 Thanks a bunch, Milton. Good-bye. 676 00:33:57,841 --> 00:34:00,167 OK. 677 00:34:01,178 --> 00:34:03,551 I could set the building on fire. 678 00:34:06,850 --> 00:34:08,843 - Peter. - Michael. 679 00:34:08,936 --> 00:34:10,016 What the hell's going on, man? 680 00:34:10,105 --> 00:34:11,930 I thought you'd come in here and start shooting. 681 00:34:12,022 --> 00:34:14,062 No. I just came to get my address book. 682 00:34:14,150 --> 00:34:15,265 I'm not gonna stay. 683 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,648 I got a phone number, Mike, that I don't wanna lose. 684 00:34:17,737 --> 00:34:19,445 What? Peter, you're in deep shit. 685 00:34:19,530 --> 00:34:21,522 You were supposed to come in Saturday. What were you doing? 686 00:34:22,408 --> 00:34:25,244 Michael, I did nothing. 687 00:34:25,329 --> 00:34:26,786 I did absolutely nothing... 688 00:34:26,870 --> 00:34:29,789 and it was everything that I thought it could be. 689 00:34:29,875 --> 00:34:32,447 I hope you have a better story for Lumbergh. 690 00:34:32,543 --> 00:34:35,117 You're supposed to be at your interview with the consultants. 691 00:34:35,213 --> 00:34:36,327 The who? 692 00:34:36,422 --> 00:34:38,712 The consultants. What has gotten into you? 693 00:34:40,676 --> 00:34:43,963 Oh, yeah... right. 694 00:34:44,890 --> 00:34:47,724 Wait, Peter. You gotta postpone it, man. 695 00:34:47,809 --> 00:34:48,888 Tell 'em you've been sick. Make something up. 696 00:34:48,977 --> 00:34:51,100 Oh, no way. No, I feel great. 697 00:34:51,187 --> 00:34:53,015 It's the best day of my life. 698 00:34:55,275 --> 00:34:57,600 Next batter looks like a Peter Gibbons. 699 00:34:57,694 --> 00:34:58,809 Uh-huh. 700 00:34:58,904 --> 00:35:01,192 Ah, there you are. We were just talking about you. 701 00:35:01,281 --> 00:35:02,906 You must be Peter Gibbons. 702 00:35:02,991 --> 00:35:04,320 Uh-huh. Terrific. 703 00:35:04,410 --> 00:35:06,782 I'm Bob Slydell. This is my associate Bob Porter. 704 00:35:06,871 --> 00:35:08,281 Oh, hi, Bob. Bob. 705 00:35:08,372 --> 00:35:10,909 Grab a seat and join us for a minute or two. 706 00:35:12,460 --> 00:35:14,168 You see, what we're actually trying to do here... 707 00:35:14,254 --> 00:35:17,170 is we're just, we're trying to get a feel... 708 00:35:17,256 --> 00:35:19,130 for how people spend their day at work. 709 00:35:19,217 --> 00:35:20,841 So if you would... 710 00:35:20,926 --> 00:35:24,510 would you walk us through a typical day for you? 711 00:35:25,681 --> 00:35:27,924 - Yeah. - Great. 712 00:35:28,017 --> 00:35:31,468 Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late. 713 00:35:31,562 --> 00:35:33,970 Uh, I use the side door. 714 00:35:34,065 --> 00:35:37,019 That way Lumbergh can't see me. 715 00:35:37,109 --> 00:35:41,024 And after that, I just sort of space out for about an hour. 716 00:35:41,114 --> 00:35:43,605 Uh, "space out"? 717 00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:44,778 Yeah. 718 00:35:44,867 --> 00:35:46,694 I just stare at my desk. 719 00:35:46,786 --> 00:35:48,245 But it looks like I'm working. 720 00:35:48,330 --> 00:35:52,113 I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. 721 00:35:52,208 --> 00:35:54,000 I'd say in a given week... 722 00:35:54,086 --> 00:35:55,912 I probably only do about fifteen minutes... 723 00:35:56,004 --> 00:35:58,875 of real, actual work. 724 00:36:00,383 --> 00:36:03,587 Peter, would you be a good sport... 725 00:36:03,679 --> 00:36:05,635 and indulge us and just... 726 00:36:05,722 --> 00:36:06,753 tell us a little more? 727 00:36:06,848 --> 00:36:08,308 Oh, yeah. 728 00:36:08,392 --> 00:36:12,057 Let me tell you something about T.P.S. Reports. 729 00:36:12,145 --> 00:36:13,260 Ahh... 730 00:36:13,355 --> 00:36:16,724 The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. 731 00:36:16,817 --> 00:36:18,774 It's that I just don't care. 732 00:36:18,861 --> 00:36:21,019 Don't... don't care? 733 00:36:21,113 --> 00:36:23,605 It's a problem of motivation, all right? 734 00:36:23,700 --> 00:36:25,276 Now, if I work my ass off... 735 00:36:25,367 --> 00:36:27,241 and Initech ships a few extra units... 736 00:36:27,328 --> 00:36:29,119 I don't see another dime. 737 00:36:29,204 --> 00:36:30,829 So where's the motivation? 738 00:36:31,582 --> 00:36:33,456 And here's something else, Bob... 739 00:36:33,542 --> 00:36:35,451 I have eight different bosses right now. 740 00:36:35,544 --> 00:36:36,624 - I beg your pardon? - Eight bosses. 741 00:36:36,712 --> 00:36:37,792 - Eight? - Eight, Bob. 742 00:36:37,881 --> 00:36:40,631 So that means that when I make a mistake... 743 00:36:40,716 --> 00:36:44,251 I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. 744 00:36:44,345 --> 00:36:47,631 That's my only real motivation, is not to be hassled. 745 00:36:47,724 --> 00:36:48,921 That and the fear of losing my job. 746 00:36:49,016 --> 00:36:50,843 But you know, Bob... 747 00:36:50,935 --> 00:36:52,596 that'll only make someone work just hard enough... 748 00:36:52,688 --> 00:36:53,849 not to get fired. 749 00:36:54,522 --> 00:36:57,440 Would you bear with me for just a second, please? 750 00:36:57,526 --> 00:36:58,854 OK. 751 00:37:00,112 --> 00:37:01,855 What if... And believe me... 752 00:37:01,946 --> 00:37:04,900 this is strictly hypothetical... 753 00:37:04,991 --> 00:37:08,988 but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option... 754 00:37:09,078 --> 00:37:10,787 equity-sharing program? 755 00:37:10,872 --> 00:37:12,118 Would that do anything for you? 756 00:37:12,207 --> 00:37:14,413 I don't know. I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. 757 00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:17,455 Uh, it's been really nice talking to both of you guys. 758 00:37:17,546 --> 00:37:18,790 - Yes. - Absolutely. 759 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,454 Pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me. 760 00:37:21,550 --> 00:37:23,091 Good luck with your layoffs, all right? 761 00:37:23,176 --> 00:37:24,920 I hope your firings go really well. 762 00:37:25,012 --> 00:37:26,127 - OK. - Thanks a lot. 763 00:37:26,222 --> 00:37:27,966 Great. Wow. 764 00:37:35,605 --> 00:37:37,931 So, Peter, what's happening? 765 00:37:38,024 --> 00:37:39,400 Listen, uh... 766 00:37:46,784 --> 00:37:49,109 Joanna, would you come here a minute, please? 767 00:37:49,203 --> 00:37:51,077 Yeah. 768 00:37:51,163 --> 00:37:55,327 I'm sorry I was late, but I was having lunch, and I, uh... 769 00:37:55,418 --> 00:37:57,042 We need to talk about your flair. 770 00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,791 Really? L... I have fifteen pieces on. 771 00:38:00,882 --> 00:38:02,341 I also... 772 00:38:02,426 --> 00:38:05,545 Well, fifteen is the minimum, OK? 773 00:38:05,637 --> 00:38:06,716 Oh. OK. 774 00:38:06,805 --> 00:38:08,714 Now, you know, it's up to you whether or not... 775 00:38:08,807 --> 00:38:11,642 you want to just do the bare minimum or... 776 00:38:11,726 --> 00:38:12,924 Well, like Brian, for example... 777 00:38:13,019 --> 00:38:16,389 has thirty-seven pieces of flair on today. 778 00:38:16,482 --> 00:38:17,761 And a terrific smile. 779 00:38:17,857 --> 00:38:20,183 OK, so you want me to wear more? 780 00:38:21,820 --> 00:38:22,899 Look, Joanna... 781 00:38:22,988 --> 00:38:24,067 Yeah? 782 00:38:24,156 --> 00:38:25,982 People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, OK? 783 00:38:26,074 --> 00:38:29,194 They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude. 784 00:38:29,995 --> 00:38:31,276 OK? That's what the flair's about. 785 00:38:31,372 --> 00:38:33,031 - It's about fun. - Yeah. 786 00:38:33,122 --> 00:38:35,282 OK, so more then, yeah? 787 00:38:37,043 --> 00:38:40,247 Look, we want you to express yourself, OK? 788 00:38:40,339 --> 00:38:44,752 Now if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, then, OK... 789 00:38:44,844 --> 00:38:47,595 but some people choose to wear more... 790 00:38:47,679 --> 00:38:49,553 and we encourage that, OK? 791 00:38:50,892 --> 00:38:52,883 You do want to express yourself, don't you? 792 00:38:54,019 --> 00:38:55,099 Y-yeah. 793 00:38:55,187 --> 00:38:57,595 OK, great, great. That's all I ask. 794 00:38:57,690 --> 00:38:59,315 OK. 795 00:39:00,443 --> 00:39:03,147 Right, so there's three more people... 796 00:39:03,237 --> 00:39:05,230 we can easily lose. 797 00:39:05,323 --> 00:39:08,526 Then there's Tom Smykowski. 798 00:39:09,452 --> 00:39:10,531 He's useless. 799 00:39:10,620 --> 00:39:12,162 Gone. 800 00:39:12,246 --> 00:39:13,825 Sounds good to me. 801 00:39:13,915 --> 00:39:16,287 Here's a peculiar... 802 00:39:16,376 --> 00:39:18,618 - Uh, Milton Waddams. - Who's he? 803 00:39:18,712 --> 00:39:20,705 You know, squirrelly looking guy. Mumbles a lot. 804 00:39:20,798 --> 00:39:21,875 Oh, yeah. 805 00:39:21,964 --> 00:39:23,625 We... we can't actually find a record... 806 00:39:23,716 --> 00:39:25,959 of him being a current employee here. 807 00:39:26,053 --> 00:39:27,844 I looked into it more deeply... 808 00:39:27,929 --> 00:39:29,838 and I found that apparently what happened... 809 00:39:29,931 --> 00:39:32,636 is that he was laid off five years ago... 810 00:39:32,726 --> 00:39:33,889 and no one ever told him about it... 811 00:39:33,977 --> 00:39:36,432 but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department... 812 00:39:36,521 --> 00:39:37,801 he still gets a paycheque. 813 00:39:37,897 --> 00:39:40,734 So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch. 814 00:39:40,818 --> 00:39:41,897 Great. 815 00:39:41,985 --> 00:39:44,655 So, uh, Milton has been let go? 816 00:39:44,738 --> 00:39:45,818 Just a second there, professor. 817 00:39:45,906 --> 00:39:49,440 We, uh, we fixed the glitch. 818 00:39:49,534 --> 00:39:51,657 So he won't be receiving a paycheque anymore. 819 00:39:51,745 --> 00:39:54,201 So it'll just work itself out naturally. 820 00:39:54,290 --> 00:39:57,325 We always like to avoid confrontation whenever possible. 821 00:39:57,417 --> 00:39:58,497 The problem is solved from your end. 822 00:39:59,754 --> 00:40:03,204 I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons. 823 00:40:03,298 --> 00:40:05,836 Now, we had a chance to meet this young man... 824 00:40:05,926 --> 00:40:08,500 and, boy, that's just a straight shooter... 825 00:40:08,596 --> 00:40:10,256 with upper management written all over him. 826 00:40:10,348 --> 00:40:12,720 Eech. Ooh. 827 00:40:12,808 --> 00:40:16,094 Yeah. Um... 828 00:40:16,187 --> 00:40:17,431 I'm going to have to go ahead... 829 00:40:17,521 --> 00:40:19,645 and sort of disagree with you there. 830 00:40:19,732 --> 00:40:22,270 Yeah, uh, he's been real flaky lately... 831 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:26,108 and I'm just not sure that he's the calibre person... 832 00:40:26,197 --> 00:40:28,439 that we would want for upper management. 833 00:40:28,533 --> 00:40:31,202 He's also been having some problems... 834 00:40:31,286 --> 00:40:33,195 with his T.P.S. Reports. 835 00:40:34,289 --> 00:40:36,162 I'll handle this. 836 00:40:36,249 --> 00:40:39,285 We feel... 837 00:40:39,377 --> 00:40:41,453 that the problem isn't with Peter. 838 00:40:41,546 --> 00:40:43,290 Mm-mmm. 839 00:40:43,382 --> 00:40:45,457 It's that you haven't challenged him enough... 840 00:40:45,549 --> 00:40:46,629 to get him really motivated. 841 00:40:46,718 --> 00:40:47,881 There it is. 842 00:40:49,304 --> 00:40:51,760 Yeah... Ah, well... 843 00:40:51,849 --> 00:40:54,090 I'm just not sure about that right now. 844 00:40:54,184 --> 00:40:56,889 Yeah, Bill, let me ask you a real quick question here. 845 00:40:56,979 --> 00:41:00,263 How much time would you say you spend each week... 846 00:41:00,356 --> 00:41:02,350 dealing with these T.P.S. Reports? 847 00:41:07,572 --> 00:41:08,736 Yeah... 848 00:42:16,185 --> 00:42:17,383 Hey, Peter, man! 849 00:42:17,477 --> 00:42:21,013 Check out channel nine. It's the breast exams. Whoo! 850 00:42:36,873 --> 00:42:38,117 Hi, Peter. 851 00:42:38,207 --> 00:42:39,950 Oh, hi, Dom. 852 00:43:28,383 --> 00:43:30,257 So... Peter... 853 00:43:30,344 --> 00:43:31,423 what's happening? 854 00:43:31,512 --> 00:43:34,797 Ahh, now, are you going to go ahead... 855 00:43:34,890 --> 00:43:38,722 and have those T.P.S. Reports for us this afternoon? 856 00:43:38,811 --> 00:43:40,187 No. 857 00:43:41,438 --> 00:43:43,929 Ahh... yeah... 858 00:43:44,024 --> 00:43:45,899 So I guess we should probably go ahead... 859 00:43:45,985 --> 00:43:48,855 and have a little talk, hmm? 860 00:43:48,946 --> 00:43:51,948 Not right now, Lumbergh, I'm... I'm kinda busy. 861 00:43:52,033 --> 00:43:55,865 In fact, I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead. 862 00:43:56,746 --> 00:43:57,943 Just come back another time. 863 00:43:58,038 --> 00:44:00,447 I got a meeting with the Bobs in a couple of minutes. 864 00:44:01,543 --> 00:44:03,665 Uh, I wasn't aware of a meeting with them. 865 00:44:03,753 --> 00:44:05,960 Yeah, they called me at home. 866 00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:11,840 That sounds good, Peter. 867 00:44:11,928 --> 00:44:14,087 And, uh, we'll go ahead and... 868 00:44:14,181 --> 00:44:16,470 get this all fixed up for you. 869 00:44:16,558 --> 00:44:17,588 Great. 870 00:44:22,606 --> 00:44:25,310 Hi, Milton. What's happening? 871 00:44:26,610 --> 00:44:28,935 L... I didn't receive my paycheque this week. 872 00:44:29,029 --> 00:44:33,607 Uh, you're going to have to talk to payroll about that. 873 00:44:33,700 --> 00:44:34,946 I did and they said... 874 00:44:35,035 --> 00:44:36,826 Milt, we're gonna go ahead... 875 00:44:36,912 --> 00:44:40,613 and move you downstairs into storage "B." 876 00:44:40,708 --> 00:44:42,415 No, l... I... 877 00:44:42,501 --> 00:44:46,451 New people are coming, and we need the space. 878 00:44:46,546 --> 00:44:47,792 But there's no space... 879 00:44:47,881 --> 00:44:51,464 So if you could go ahead and pack your stuff... 880 00:44:51,552 --> 00:44:53,212 and move it down there... 881 00:44:53,303 --> 00:44:55,297 that would be terrific. 882 00:44:55,390 --> 00:44:56,669 OK? 883 00:44:56,765 --> 00:44:58,759 Uh, excuse me... 884 00:44:58,851 --> 00:45:04,439 I believe you have my stapler, please. Hmm. 885 00:45:04,566 --> 00:45:06,806 You've been missing a lot of work lately. 886 00:45:06,900 --> 00:45:09,060 I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob. 887 00:45:10,489 --> 00:45:11,733 Good one. 888 00:45:11,823 --> 00:45:13,614 Oh, that's terrific, Peter. 889 00:45:13,699 --> 00:45:16,819 I'm sure you've... you've heard some of the rumours... 890 00:45:16,911 --> 00:45:18,620 circulating around the hallways... 891 00:45:18,705 --> 00:45:21,456 about how we're going to do a little "housecleaning..." 892 00:45:21,540 --> 00:45:22,786 with some software people. 893 00:45:22,876 --> 00:45:26,042 Well, Bob, I have heard that. You gotta do what you gotta do. 894 00:45:26,129 --> 00:45:28,121 We'll be getting rid of these people. 895 00:45:28,214 --> 00:45:33,007 First, Mr. Samir Naga... 896 00:45:33,095 --> 00:45:34,257 Naga... 897 00:45:34,346 --> 00:45:37,549 Naga-gonna work here anymore, anyway. 898 00:45:37,641 --> 00:45:41,009 And Mr. Mike Bolton. Nobody's gonna miss him. 899 00:45:41,102 --> 00:45:42,762 You're gonna layoff Samir and Michael? 900 00:45:42,854 --> 00:45:45,346 Yeah. We're gonna bring in some entry-level graduates. 901 00:45:45,441 --> 00:45:47,599 Farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal. 902 00:45:47,693 --> 00:45:48,938 It's standard operating procedure. 903 00:45:49,027 --> 00:45:51,186 Do they know this yet? 904 00:45:51,279 --> 00:45:53,439 No. No, of course not. 905 00:45:53,532 --> 00:45:56,319 We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. 906 00:45:56,409 --> 00:45:58,617 Studies have statistically shown... 907 00:45:58,704 --> 00:46:00,364 there's less chance of an incident... 908 00:46:00,456 --> 00:46:02,115 if you do it at the end of the week. 909 00:46:02,207 --> 00:46:05,291 Peter, what we'd like to do is put you into position... 910 00:46:05,377 --> 00:46:09,043 to have as many as four people... 911 00:46:09,132 --> 00:46:10,411 working right underneath you. 912 00:46:10,507 --> 00:46:12,631 This is a big promotion, Pete. 913 00:46:12,718 --> 00:46:15,340 So you're going to fire Michael and Samir... 914 00:46:15,429 --> 00:46:17,256 and give me more money? 915 00:46:19,225 --> 00:46:20,933 Uh-huh. 916 00:46:21,018 --> 00:46:23,178 Wow! 917 00:46:23,270 --> 00:46:26,225 Hmm. Yeah. 918 00:46:26,315 --> 00:46:29,104 That's it. That's exactly what I need. 919 00:46:29,194 --> 00:46:30,438 Give it to me. 920 00:46:30,527 --> 00:46:31,987 Come on, you little fucker, let's go. 921 00:46:32,071 --> 00:46:33,614 That's what I need. Let's do that. 922 00:46:33,698 --> 00:46:36,236 Let's do exactly that, you little fuck... 923 00:46:36,326 --> 00:46:38,117 - Michael. - Hey. 924 00:46:38,203 --> 00:46:39,578 Listen to me. 925 00:46:42,124 --> 00:46:43,702 What are you doing tonight? 926 00:46:45,251 --> 00:46:48,123 Michael, there comes a point in a man's life... 927 00:46:48,213 --> 00:46:50,704 and maybe that time for you is now... 928 00:46:51,841 --> 00:46:55,460 when it doesn't hurt to start thinking about the future. 929 00:46:55,554 --> 00:46:57,630 Uh, no offence there, Peter... 930 00:46:57,723 --> 00:46:59,466 but speak for yourself there, sport. 931 00:46:59,557 --> 00:47:02,725 I'm not the one who's been flakin' out at work. 932 00:47:02,812 --> 00:47:06,809 I know you had this religious experience or whatever... 933 00:47:06,899 --> 00:47:09,650 but get your shit together, or you're gonna get canned. 934 00:47:10,653 --> 00:47:13,144 Yeah, and, uh, and l... Listen... 935 00:47:14,198 --> 00:47:15,941 That virus you're always talking about... 936 00:47:16,033 --> 00:47:18,157 the one that could rip off the company... 937 00:47:18,244 --> 00:47:19,654 for a bunch of money. 938 00:47:19,744 --> 00:47:20,990 Yeah, what about it? 939 00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:22,740 Well, how does it work? 940 00:47:23,541 --> 00:47:24,916 It's pretty brilliant. 941 00:47:25,001 --> 00:47:27,123 What it does is every time there's a bank transaction... 942 00:47:27,211 --> 00:47:29,619 where interest is computed... There are thousands a day... 943 00:47:29,713 --> 00:47:31,671 the computer ends up with these fractions of a cent... 944 00:47:31,758 --> 00:47:33,253 which it usually rounds off. 945 00:47:33,343 --> 00:47:35,667 What this does is it takes those little remainders... 946 00:47:35,761 --> 00:47:37,671 and puts it into an account. 947 00:47:37,764 --> 00:47:40,469 - This sounds familiar. - They did it in "Superman III." 948 00:47:40,559 --> 00:47:41,673 Right, uh... 949 00:47:41,768 --> 00:47:43,476 An underrated movie, actually. 950 00:47:43,562 --> 00:47:46,847 There were hackers that did it in the seventies as well. 951 00:47:46,940 --> 00:47:49,940 - So they check for this now. - No, here's the thing. 952 00:47:50,026 --> 00:47:53,277 Initech's so backed up with all the software we're updating... 953 00:47:53,364 --> 00:47:54,478 they'd never notice. 954 00:47:54,573 --> 00:47:56,565 You're right. 955 00:47:56,658 --> 00:47:58,983 Even if they wanted to, they couldn't check all that code. 956 00:47:59,077 --> 00:48:02,078 Thumbs up their asses. Thumbs up their asses. 957 00:48:02,163 --> 00:48:06,078 So, Michael, what's to stop you from doing this? 958 00:48:06,168 --> 00:48:08,706 It's not worth the risk. I got a good job. 959 00:48:09,921 --> 00:48:12,378 What if you didn't have a good job? 960 00:48:13,842 --> 00:48:15,041 Cock gobblers! 961 00:48:18,722 --> 00:48:22,472 Samir and I are the best programmers they got. 962 00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:24,718 You haven't been showin' up, and you get to keep your job. 963 00:48:24,811 --> 00:48:26,604 Actually, I'm being promoted. 964 00:48:26,689 --> 00:48:29,310 - What? - I know, Michael. 965 00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:31,891 It's completely unfair. 966 00:48:31,986 --> 00:48:34,441 And I realised something today. 967 00:48:34,530 --> 00:48:37,448 It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. 968 00:48:37,533 --> 00:48:39,526 It's about all of us together. 969 00:48:41,204 --> 00:48:44,537 I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist. 970 00:48:44,623 --> 00:48:47,115 Maybe it was just shock, and it's wearing off now... 971 00:48:47,210 --> 00:48:49,879 but when I saw that fat man keel over and die... 972 00:48:49,963 --> 00:48:52,916 Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth. 973 00:48:53,007 --> 00:48:55,925 We weren't meant to spend it this way. 974 00:48:56,011 --> 00:48:59,296 Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles... 975 00:48:59,388 --> 00:49:01,298 staring at computer screens all day... 976 00:49:01,391 --> 00:49:02,471 filling out useless forms... 977 00:49:02,559 --> 00:49:04,184 and listening to eight different bosses... 978 00:49:04,269 --> 00:49:06,677 drone on about mission statements. 979 00:49:06,772 --> 00:49:09,642 I told those fudgepackers I liked Michael Bolton's music. 980 00:49:09,733 --> 00:49:13,397 Ohh. That is not right, Michael. 981 00:49:13,486 --> 00:49:16,322 For five years now, you've worked your ass off... 982 00:49:16,407 --> 00:49:20,451 hoping for a promotion, profit sharing, or something. 983 00:49:20,535 --> 00:49:21,911 Five years... 984 00:49:21,996 --> 00:49:24,783 of your mid-twenties now gone. 985 00:49:24,874 --> 00:49:26,119 And you're gonna go in tomorrow... 986 00:49:26,208 --> 00:49:28,781 they're gonna throw you out on the street. 987 00:49:28,877 --> 00:49:30,621 You know why? 988 00:49:30,713 --> 00:49:35,125 So Bill Lumbergh's stock will go up a quarter of a point. 989 00:49:35,217 --> 00:49:36,795 Ugh. 990 00:49:36,886 --> 00:49:38,962 Michael, let's make that stock go down... 991 00:49:39,055 --> 00:49:41,012 and let's take enough money out of that place... 992 00:49:41,098 --> 00:49:44,384 so that we never have to sit in a cubicle ever again. 993 00:49:45,854 --> 00:49:47,762 Your software works, right? 994 00:49:47,854 --> 00:49:49,515 Of course it works. That's not the point. 995 00:49:50,984 --> 00:49:53,060 Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know how to install it. 996 00:49:53,152 --> 00:49:55,643 I don't know the credit union's software well enough. OK? 997 00:49:55,738 --> 00:49:58,692 Yeah. But Samir does. 998 00:49:59,534 --> 00:50:00,993 But that's not much money. 999 00:50:01,078 --> 00:50:02,274 That's the beauty of it. 1000 00:50:02,369 --> 00:50:06,415 Each withdrawal, it's a fraction of a cent, too small to notice. 1001 00:50:06,500 --> 00:50:08,657 But you take a few thousand withdrawals a day... 1002 00:50:08,751 --> 00:50:10,162 you space it out over a couple of years... 1003 00:50:10,253 --> 00:50:12,495 that's a few hundred thousand dollars. 1004 00:50:12,589 --> 00:50:13,787 It's like "Superman III." 1005 00:50:13,882 --> 00:50:15,921 "Superman lll"? 1006 00:50:16,009 --> 00:50:19,674 I have to leave now. I have to get my résumé ready. 1007 00:50:19,763 --> 00:50:23,926 For another job where they can fire you for no reason? 1008 00:50:24,017 --> 00:50:26,722 That's right. If I'm lucky. 1009 00:50:26,811 --> 00:50:30,940 I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you? 1010 00:50:31,025 --> 00:50:33,776 Yes, but I'm not going to do anything illegal. 1011 00:50:33,861 --> 00:50:36,268 Illegal? Samir, this is America. 1012 00:50:36,363 --> 00:50:38,402 Come on. Sit down. 1013 00:50:39,366 --> 00:50:41,572 Come on. This isn't Riyadh. 1014 00:50:41,660 --> 00:50:44,578 They're not going to saw your hands off here. 1015 00:50:44,663 --> 00:50:47,035 The worst they'd do is put you for a couple of months... 1016 00:50:47,124 --> 00:50:50,411 into a white-collar, minimum-security resort. 1017 00:50:50,504 --> 00:50:54,168 Shit, we should be so lucky. They have conjugal visits there. 1018 00:50:54,257 --> 00:50:55,882 - Really? - Yes. 1019 00:50:55,966 --> 00:50:57,247 Shit! 1020 00:50:57,343 --> 00:51:00,095 I'm a free man. I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months. 1021 00:51:00,179 --> 00:51:01,922 So what do you think? 1022 00:51:02,014 --> 00:51:04,506 This thing is actually pretty fail-safe, Samir. 1023 00:51:04,601 --> 00:51:05,798 Samir? 1024 00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:10,273 You came here looking for a land of opportunity. 1025 00:51:10,357 --> 00:51:13,476 And this is the knock of that opportunity. 1026 00:51:13,568 --> 00:51:15,940 Tomorrow is your last day at Initech. 1027 00:51:16,028 --> 00:51:17,523 You have two options... 1028 00:51:17,614 --> 00:51:19,986 unemployment or early retirement. 1029 00:51:20,075 --> 00:51:21,652 What's it gonna be? 1030 00:51:22,452 --> 00:51:24,030 - I have a question. - Yes? 1031 00:51:24,121 --> 00:51:27,821 In this conjugal visits, you can have sex with women? 1032 00:51:27,916 --> 00:51:30,621 Yep, you sure can. 1033 00:51:34,131 --> 00:51:35,294 OK, I'll do it. 1034 00:51:35,381 --> 00:51:38,253 That's what I'm talkin' about when I talk about America! 1035 00:51:38,344 --> 00:51:39,720 Can we discuss the plan? 1036 00:51:39,804 --> 00:51:41,463 OK, yeah, good, right. 1037 00:51:41,554 --> 00:51:43,014 It works like a computer virus. 1038 00:51:43,098 --> 00:51:45,672 All we do is load it into the credit union's mainframe. 1039 00:51:45,767 --> 00:51:46,931 It'll do the rest. 1040 00:51:47,018 --> 00:51:49,344 Get me that disk, and I'll take it from there. 1041 00:51:49,438 --> 00:51:52,273 Before we go any further, all right? 1042 00:51:52,358 --> 00:51:54,849 We have to swear to God, Allah... 1043 00:51:54,944 --> 00:51:57,435 that nobody knows about this but us, all right? 1044 00:51:57,530 --> 00:52:00,614 No family members, no girlfriends. Nobody. 1045 00:52:00,700 --> 00:52:01,897 - Of course. - Agreed. 1046 00:52:01,992 --> 00:52:04,151 Don't worry, man! I won't tell anyone, either. 1047 00:52:04,245 --> 00:52:06,451 - What the fuck is that? - Don't worry. He's cool. 1048 00:52:06,539 --> 00:52:09,907 All right. Here's how I see it all going down. 1049 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,788 Peter, congratulations. This is one heck of a promotion. 1050 00:52:12,879 --> 00:52:14,077 Thank you, Bob. 1051 00:52:14,172 --> 00:52:16,460 We'll get some people under you right away. 1052 00:53:42,178 --> 00:53:43,424 That was easy. 1053 00:53:43,513 --> 00:53:45,506 Yeah, I guess it was. 1054 00:53:45,599 --> 00:53:47,176 What'd you do with the... 1055 00:53:47,350 --> 00:53:49,141 Hey, man. 1056 00:53:49,227 --> 00:53:50,887 Oh, hey, Drew. 1057 00:53:50,979 --> 00:53:52,604 You guys hear about Tom Smykowski? 1058 00:53:52,690 --> 00:53:53,767 That he got laid off? 1059 00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:55,351 No, man, check it out. 1060 00:53:55,442 --> 00:53:57,981 Last week, after he found out he was getting laid off... 1061 00:53:58,070 --> 00:54:01,438 he tries to kill himself by running the car in the garage. 1062 00:54:01,531 --> 00:54:02,646 Is he dead? 1063 00:54:02,741 --> 00:54:04,283 No, man, check it out. 1064 00:54:04,367 --> 00:54:07,488 His wife comes home early and catches him. 1065 00:54:07,580 --> 00:54:09,453 He tries to play it off like nothing happened. 1066 00:54:09,539 --> 00:54:12,458 I was having some trouble with the shifter here. 1067 00:54:12,543 --> 00:54:13,823 It's jammed. 1068 00:54:13,919 --> 00:54:16,375 L... I couldn't get it into drive. 1069 00:54:16,463 --> 00:54:19,133 - L... l...I mean, reverse. - You OK, Tom? 1070 00:54:19,216 --> 00:54:21,506 Then as he's lookin' at her... 1071 00:54:21,594 --> 00:54:23,586 he decides he wants to live. 1072 00:54:23,679 --> 00:54:25,138 Yeah, I think I'm OK. 1073 00:54:25,222 --> 00:54:26,598 Right. 1074 00:54:26,683 --> 00:54:28,840 Seems to be working now. 1075 00:54:30,644 --> 00:54:32,353 See you later, honey. 1076 00:54:32,439 --> 00:54:33,683 Love ya. 1077 00:54:35,275 --> 00:54:39,142 But as soon as he backs out of his driveway... Bam! 1078 00:54:39,237 --> 00:54:41,859 He gets slammed big-time by a drunk driver. 1079 00:54:41,949 --> 00:54:43,904 - Is he OK? - Sort of. 1080 00:54:43,991 --> 00:54:47,112 Broke both his wrists, legs, a couple of ribs, his back... 1081 00:54:47,204 --> 00:54:49,362 but he's getting a huge settlement out of this. 1082 00:54:49,456 --> 00:54:50,618 Like seven figures. 1083 00:54:50,707 --> 00:54:52,201 He's getting out of the hospital tomorrow. 1084 00:54:52,292 --> 00:54:54,201 He's throwing a big party this weekend to celebrate. 1085 00:54:54,294 --> 00:54:56,287 We're all invited. 1086 00:54:56,380 --> 00:54:59,000 I'm thinking I might take that new chick from logistics. 1087 00:54:59,090 --> 00:55:01,629 Things go well, I might be showing her my "Oh" face. 1088 00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:04,090 Oh, oh, oh... 1089 00:55:04,178 --> 00:55:07,215 You know what I'm talking about. Oh. 1090 00:55:07,307 --> 00:55:09,430 Yeah. Right. 1091 00:55:09,518 --> 00:55:10,847 See you guys there. 1092 00:55:12,186 --> 00:55:15,391 Wow, our last day at Initech. 1093 00:55:16,692 --> 00:55:18,684 I can't believe they had security escort us out. 1094 00:55:18,777 --> 00:55:21,019 It's not like we're going to steal something. 1095 00:55:23,282 --> 00:55:24,397 I stole something. 1096 00:55:24,492 --> 00:55:26,484 Oh, yeah. I guess we all did. 1097 00:55:26,577 --> 00:55:29,246 No, I stole something else. 1098 00:55:30,289 --> 00:55:31,749 What did you steal? 1099 00:55:33,333 --> 00:55:35,623 Call it a going-away present. 1100 00:57:12,852 --> 00:57:14,311 Who's got my keys? 1101 00:57:14,396 --> 00:57:15,771 I'm driving. 1102 00:57:15,855 --> 00:57:17,516 Everything is gonna be OK. 1103 00:57:17,608 --> 00:57:19,434 All right? OK? 1104 00:57:19,526 --> 00:57:21,103 It's fun, and it's exciting. 1105 00:57:21,194 --> 00:57:23,733 I gotta... I gotta go. All right? 1106 00:57:23,822 --> 00:57:24,984 Joanna's coming over. 1107 00:57:25,073 --> 00:57:28,240 Don't worry. You're worrying. All right? 1108 00:57:28,327 --> 00:57:30,449 Monday morning, we're gonna check the account balance. 1109 00:57:30,537 --> 00:57:31,617 Everything will be OK. 1110 00:57:31,705 --> 00:57:33,828 Don't miss Tom's barbecue. I'll see you there. 1111 00:57:33,916 --> 00:57:35,623 All right? Good night! 1112 00:57:35,709 --> 00:57:38,379 Back up in your ass with the resurrection 1113 00:57:40,964 --> 00:57:43,088 What were you guys celebrating last night? 1114 00:57:43,175 --> 00:57:47,884 Oh, um... l'm not really at liberty to talk about it. 1115 00:57:51,100 --> 00:57:52,725 I really can't. 1116 00:57:55,437 --> 00:57:58,475 So, when the subroutine compounds the interest... 1117 00:57:58,566 --> 00:58:00,772 it uses all these extra decimal places... 1118 00:58:00,859 --> 00:58:02,734 that just get rounded off. 1119 00:58:02,820 --> 00:58:04,363 So we simplified the whole thing... 1120 00:58:04,447 --> 00:58:07,697 and we round 'em all down and drop the remainder... 1121 00:58:07,783 --> 00:58:09,776 into an account that we opened. 1122 00:58:10,912 --> 00:58:12,323 So you're stealing? 1123 00:58:13,373 --> 00:58:15,199 Uh, no. No, you don't understand. 1124 00:58:15,291 --> 00:58:19,040 It's, uh, very complicated. It's, uh... 1125 00:58:19,129 --> 00:58:22,129 It's aggregate, so I'm talking about fractions of a penny... 1126 00:58:22,215 --> 00:58:25,500 and, uh, over time, they add up to a lot. 1127 00:58:25,593 --> 00:58:29,293 Oh, OK. So you're gonna make a lot of money, right? 1128 00:58:29,388 --> 00:58:30,669 - Yeah. - Right. 1129 00:58:30,765 --> 00:58:31,845 It's not yours? 1130 00:58:31,933 --> 00:58:34,092 Uh... well, it becomes ours. 1131 00:58:34,185 --> 00:58:36,012 How is that not stealing? 1132 00:58:38,691 --> 00:58:41,894 I don't think I'm explaining this very well. 1133 00:58:41,986 --> 00:58:45,069 Um, the 7-Eleven, right? 1134 00:58:45,155 --> 00:58:47,397 You'd take a penny from the tray. 1135 00:58:47,491 --> 00:58:48,737 From the crippled children? 1136 00:58:48,826 --> 00:58:49,939 No, that's the jar. 1137 00:58:50,034 --> 00:58:53,535 I'm talking about the tray... The pennies for everybody. 1138 00:58:53,623 --> 00:58:54,951 Oh, for everybody. OK. 1139 00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,116 Yeah. Well, those are whole pennies. 1140 00:58:57,209 --> 00:59:01,124 I'm just talking about fractions of a penny, OK? 1141 00:59:01,213 --> 00:59:02,957 But we do it from a much bigger tray... 1142 00:59:03,049 --> 00:59:05,124 and we do it a couple of million times. 1143 00:59:05,217 --> 00:59:06,628 So what's wrong with that? 1144 00:59:06,719 --> 00:59:08,344 I don't know. It just seems wrong. 1145 00:59:08,430 --> 00:59:09,592 It's not wrong. 1146 00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:10,842 Initech is wrong. 1147 00:59:10,931 --> 00:59:13,423 Initech is an evil corporation, all right? 1148 00:59:13,517 --> 00:59:15,594 Chotchkie's is wrong. 1149 00:59:15,687 --> 00:59:17,595 Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning... 1150 00:59:17,688 --> 00:59:19,681 and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair? 1151 00:59:19,773 --> 00:59:22,146 Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start... 1152 00:59:22,235 --> 00:59:23,895 taking money from the register. 1153 00:59:23,987 --> 00:59:25,184 Well, maybe you should. 1154 00:59:26,990 --> 00:59:30,275 The Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear. 1155 00:59:30,368 --> 00:59:31,613 What? 1156 00:59:33,329 --> 00:59:34,954 Look, we don't... l'm... 1157 00:59:35,039 --> 00:59:36,664 We don't have to talk about this now. 1158 00:59:36,750 --> 00:59:40,249 Let's just go to the barbecue, all right? 1159 00:59:43,339 --> 00:59:46,009 Michael, Samir, how you doin'? 1160 00:59:46,092 --> 00:59:47,207 - Hey, Tom. - Hello, Tom. 1161 00:59:47,302 --> 00:59:50,339 I'd like you to meet my lawyer Rob Newhouse. 1162 00:59:50,430 --> 00:59:53,134 Rob, Michael. Samir. 1163 00:59:53,224 --> 00:59:56,677 Peter! How are you? I'm glad you could make it. 1164 00:59:56,770 --> 00:59:59,770 Tom, hi. This is somebody I'd like you to meet. 1165 00:59:59,856 --> 01:00:01,683 - This is, uh, Joanna. - Hi. 1166 01:00:01,775 --> 01:00:04,183 Hi. Forgive me for not getting up. 1167 01:00:10,868 --> 01:00:13,702 Ooh, ooh. 1168 01:00:13,787 --> 01:00:16,195 Peter, come here a minute. I wanna show you something. 1169 01:00:17,541 --> 01:00:20,163 Well... what do you think? It's a prototype. 1170 01:00:20,253 --> 01:00:21,996 Huh... that's... 1171 01:00:22,088 --> 01:00:24,661 that's exactly as you described it. 1172 01:00:26,676 --> 01:00:29,166 Uh, listen, I heard about your... your settlement. 1173 01:00:29,261 --> 01:00:30,424 Congratulations. 1174 01:00:30,513 --> 01:00:31,628 Well, thanks, Peter. 1175 01:00:31,723 --> 01:00:35,590 You know, I'm glad you're here, because I wanted to talk to you. 1176 01:00:35,685 --> 01:00:39,018 I know how you get depressed about your job and all, and... 1177 01:00:39,105 --> 01:00:41,775 I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel. 1178 01:00:41,858 --> 01:00:43,517 I used to be the same way. 1179 01:00:43,609 --> 01:00:45,603 - Really? - Sure. 1180 01:00:45,695 --> 01:00:47,319 Maybe I didn't whine as much. 1181 01:00:47,405 --> 01:00:50,240 But I bet I hated my job even more than you... 1182 01:00:50,325 --> 01:00:52,613 and I'd been doing it for over thirty years. 1183 01:00:52,702 --> 01:00:53,983 Wow. 1184 01:00:54,079 --> 01:00:57,613 Just remember, if you hang in there long enough... 1185 01:00:57,707 --> 01:01:00,958 good things can happen in this world. 1186 01:01:01,045 --> 01:01:03,119 I mean, look at me. 1187 01:01:04,130 --> 01:01:05,542 Thanks, Tom. 1188 01:01:06,592 --> 01:01:08,465 Ah, sure. 1189 01:01:13,849 --> 01:01:17,051 Conjugal visits? Not that I know of. 1190 01:01:17,143 --> 01:01:19,765 Minimum-security prison is no picnic. 1191 01:01:19,855 --> 01:01:21,978 I have a client in there right now. 1192 01:01:22,065 --> 01:01:23,691 He says the trick is... 1193 01:01:23,776 --> 01:01:25,603 kick someone's ass the first day... 1194 01:01:25,694 --> 01:01:27,153 or become someone's bitch. 1195 01:01:27,237 --> 01:01:29,812 Then everything will be all right. 1196 01:01:29,908 --> 01:01:31,531 Why do you ask, anyway? 1197 01:01:31,616 --> 01:01:33,859 Oh, no, we just... 1198 01:01:33,953 --> 01:01:35,151 It's a... 1199 01:01:41,418 --> 01:01:43,459 - Hey, Peter. - Drew. 1200 01:01:43,546 --> 01:01:45,704 That's something about old Smykowski, huh? 1201 01:01:45,798 --> 01:01:47,589 - Yeah. - Lucky bastard. 1202 01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:51,927 Hey, isn't that the girl that works over at Chotchkie's? 1203 01:01:52,013 --> 01:01:53,756 Yep. 1204 01:01:53,848 --> 01:01:55,426 Who's she here with? 1205 01:01:55,517 --> 01:01:56,797 She's with me. 1206 01:01:58,645 --> 01:02:00,768 - Really? - Yep. 1207 01:02:00,856 --> 01:02:04,307 All right, Peter. Ooh, ooh, right on. 1208 01:02:05,361 --> 01:02:07,482 Make sure you wear a rubber, dude. 1209 01:02:09,781 --> 01:02:10,895 Why's that, Drew? 1210 01:02:10,990 --> 01:02:12,616 Are you kidding me? 1211 01:02:12,701 --> 01:02:14,777 She gets around. All right? 1212 01:02:16,287 --> 01:02:18,281 She does, does she? 1213 01:02:18,374 --> 01:02:20,496 Oh, yeah, like a record. 1214 01:02:23,378 --> 01:02:24,790 Like with who? 1215 01:02:24,880 --> 01:02:27,797 Oh, let's see, uh... 1216 01:02:27,883 --> 01:02:30,042 Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. 1217 01:02:31,178 --> 01:02:32,886 Uh, let me see, who else? 1218 01:02:34,974 --> 01:02:36,136 Lumbergh? 1219 01:02:38,519 --> 01:02:40,844 What if you get caught? 1220 01:02:40,938 --> 01:02:44,141 Oh, I just don't know if this was such a good idea. 1221 01:02:44,233 --> 01:02:47,270 Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to sleep with Lumbergh. 1222 01:02:47,362 --> 01:02:48,689 What? 1223 01:02:48,779 --> 01:02:49,978 What are you... 1224 01:02:51,156 --> 01:02:53,114 Oh, right, Lumbergh. 1225 01:02:53,201 --> 01:02:54,660 Aah! 1226 01:02:54,745 --> 01:02:57,864 Oh... God... Lumbergh! 1227 01:02:57,955 --> 01:02:59,949 Peter, what is wrong with you? 1228 01:03:00,042 --> 01:03:01,749 That was, like, two years ago. 1229 01:03:01,835 --> 01:03:03,210 What? Did you know him? 1230 01:03:03,294 --> 01:03:04,872 Yeah, I know him. I know him. 1231 01:03:04,963 --> 01:03:06,243 He's my boss. 1232 01:03:06,339 --> 01:03:09,755 He's my unholy, disgusting pig of a boss. 1233 01:03:09,843 --> 01:03:11,882 Oh, he's not that disgusting. 1234 01:03:11,970 --> 01:03:15,173 He represents all that is soulless and wrong... 1235 01:03:15,265 --> 01:03:16,972 and you slept with him. 1236 01:03:17,058 --> 01:03:20,427 Hey, that is none of your business, OK? 1237 01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:23,356 I didn't ask you who you slept with before we were together. 1238 01:03:23,441 --> 01:03:24,603 I don't care. 1239 01:03:24,691 --> 01:03:26,767 I didn't think you slept with guys like Lumbergh! 1240 01:03:26,860 --> 01:03:29,019 Listen to you. 1241 01:03:29,113 --> 01:03:30,571 Who do you think you are? 1242 01:03:30,656 --> 01:03:33,147 How dare you judge me? 1243 01:03:33,242 --> 01:03:36,029 I mean, what are you? You think you're an angel? 1244 01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:38,824 No, you're just this penny-stealing... 1245 01:03:38,914 --> 01:03:41,583 wannabe criminal man. 1246 01:03:41,667 --> 01:03:43,327 Yeah, well, that may be. 1247 01:03:43,419 --> 01:03:45,874 But at least I never slept with Lumbergh. 1248 01:03:45,962 --> 01:03:47,243 OK, that's... l'm done. 1249 01:03:47,339 --> 01:03:50,590 I wanna get out of the car, OK? Stop. 1250 01:03:50,676 --> 01:03:52,467 Call me when you grow up. 1251 01:03:52,553 --> 01:03:54,711 Wait. That's probably never gonna happen. 1252 01:03:54,805 --> 01:03:55,920 So don't call me, OK? 1253 01:03:56,015 --> 01:03:58,222 Say hello to Lumbergh for me! 1254 01:04:05,149 --> 01:04:06,940 Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. 1255 01:04:07,026 --> 01:04:08,569 Lumbergh fucked her. 1256 01:04:08,653 --> 01:04:10,811 Lumbergh fucked her. 1257 01:04:10,905 --> 01:04:12,815 That is great. 1258 01:04:12,908 --> 01:04:15,943 I mean, she was seeing the "Oh" face for sure. 1259 01:04:16,035 --> 01:04:19,784 Ohh, ohh, ohh. 1260 01:04:19,873 --> 01:04:21,450 Ooh. 1261 01:04:21,541 --> 01:04:24,162 If you could just move a little bit to the left. 1262 01:04:24,252 --> 01:04:26,625 That's it. Great. 1263 01:04:26,713 --> 01:04:28,835 Peter, what's happening? 1264 01:04:28,923 --> 01:04:33,799 Um, could you give me those T.P.S. Reports ASAP, OK? 1265 01:04:33,887 --> 01:04:35,049 Oh! 1266 01:04:49,277 --> 01:04:50,855 - Joanna. - Yeah. 1267 01:04:51,447 --> 01:04:53,239 We need to talk. 1268 01:04:53,324 --> 01:04:55,197 Do you know what this is about? 1269 01:04:59,121 --> 01:05:00,781 My, uh, flair? 1270 01:05:00,873 --> 01:05:02,949 Yeah. 1271 01:05:03,042 --> 01:05:06,826 Or your lack of flair, because, uh... 1272 01:05:06,921 --> 01:05:09,292 I'm counting, and I only see fifteen pieces. 1273 01:05:09,381 --> 01:05:11,670 Let me ask you a question, Joanna. 1274 01:05:11,759 --> 01:05:15,888 What do you think of a person who only does the bare minimum? 1275 01:05:17,432 --> 01:05:20,136 Huh, what do I think? Um, you know what, Stan... 1276 01:05:21,394 --> 01:05:24,430 if you want me to wear thirty-seven pieces of flair... 1277 01:05:24,522 --> 01:05:26,811 like your, uh, pretty boy over there, Brian... 1278 01:05:26,900 --> 01:05:28,477 why don't you just make the minimum... 1279 01:05:28,568 --> 01:05:30,525 thirty-seven pieces of flair? 1280 01:05:30,611 --> 01:05:33,185 Well, I thought I remembered you saying... 1281 01:05:33,281 --> 01:05:35,488 that you wanted to express yourself. 1282 01:05:35,575 --> 01:05:37,532 Yeah. You know what? Yeah, I do. 1283 01:05:37,619 --> 01:05:40,074 I do want to express myself. 1284 01:05:40,163 --> 01:05:42,998 And I don't need thirty-seven pieces of flair to do it. 1285 01:05:44,542 --> 01:05:47,116 All right? There's my flair. OK? 1286 01:05:47,212 --> 01:05:51,506 And this is me expressing myself. OK? 1287 01:05:51,591 --> 01:05:53,299 There it is. 1288 01:05:53,384 --> 01:05:54,927 I hate this job. 1289 01:05:55,012 --> 01:05:57,681 I hate this goddamn job, and I don't need it. 1290 01:06:13,488 --> 01:06:14,568 Oh, shit. 1291 01:06:14,657 --> 01:06:16,235 - Shit. - Shit. 1292 01:06:16,325 --> 01:06:18,816 - Shit. - Son of a bitch. 1293 01:06:18,911 --> 01:06:21,616 - Shit. - This is a fuck. 1294 01:06:21,706 --> 01:06:22,784 L... I...Shit. 1295 01:06:22,873 --> 01:06:24,284 What happened? 1296 01:06:24,375 --> 01:06:26,534 You tell me, Michael! It's your software! 1297 01:06:26,628 --> 01:06:28,169 Yes, it's your software. 1298 01:06:28,253 --> 01:06:30,413 Corporate accounting is sure as hell gonna notice... 1299 01:06:30,507 --> 01:06:33,176 three hundred five thousand, three hundred... 1300 01:06:33,259 --> 01:06:36,463 twenty-six thirteen, Michael! 1301 01:06:36,554 --> 01:06:37,882 Oh, shit. 1302 01:06:37,972 --> 01:06:39,965 They probably won't know it's gone... 1303 01:06:40,058 --> 01:06:41,766 for another three or four days. 1304 01:06:41,850 --> 01:06:45,386 Michael! You said this thing was gonna take two years. 1305 01:06:45,480 --> 01:06:47,935 What happened? You said the thing was supposed to work! 1306 01:06:48,024 --> 01:06:49,269 Technically, it did work. 1307 01:06:49,359 --> 01:06:50,640 No, it didn't! 1308 01:06:50,736 --> 01:06:53,606 It did not work, Michael, OK? 1309 01:06:53,697 --> 01:06:55,274 OK. 1310 01:06:55,365 --> 01:06:58,485 I must have put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. 1311 01:06:58,577 --> 01:07:01,116 I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail. 1312 01:07:01,205 --> 01:07:05,249 Oh! Well, this is not a mundane detail, Michael! 1313 01:07:05,334 --> 01:07:06,828 Quit getting pissed at me. 1314 01:07:06,918 --> 01:07:08,828 This was all your idea, asshole. 1315 01:07:10,088 --> 01:07:12,045 All right. OK. 1316 01:07:12,132 --> 01:07:14,624 Let's try not to get pissed off at each other. 1317 01:07:14,719 --> 01:07:17,209 Let's calm down, try to figure this thing out together. 1318 01:07:17,304 --> 01:07:20,970 We gotta close that account before it gets bigger. 1319 01:07:21,059 --> 01:07:25,222 WORKERS Happy birthday to you 1320 01:07:25,313 --> 01:07:30,270 Happy birthday to you 1321 01:07:30,359 --> 01:07:35,947 Happy birthday, Mr. Lumbergh 1322 01:07:36,032 --> 01:07:40,160 Happy birthday to you 1323 01:07:44,457 --> 01:07:45,786 Looks terrific. 1324 01:07:45,874 --> 01:07:46,989 Mmm. 1325 01:07:47,084 --> 01:07:49,790 Here, Peg, you wanna get everybody started? 1326 01:07:53,049 --> 01:07:54,212 Mmm. 1327 01:07:54,301 --> 01:07:55,676 Oh, that is terrific. 1328 01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:57,041 Just terrific. 1329 01:07:57,137 --> 01:08:00,920 Thanks, everybody. I really, really appreciate it. 1330 01:08:01,015 --> 01:08:02,296 It's very special. 1331 01:08:02,392 --> 01:08:04,599 Now, Milton, don't be greedy. 1332 01:08:04,687 --> 01:08:07,936 Let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece. 1333 01:08:08,023 --> 01:08:11,107 But last time I didn't receive a piece and I was told... 1334 01:08:11,193 --> 01:08:12,686 Just pass. 1335 01:08:12,777 --> 01:08:17,985 OK, here. But this... 1336 01:08:19,576 --> 01:08:23,076 The cake... There's lots of cake? 1337 01:08:24,123 --> 01:08:27,123 The ratio of people to cake is too big. 1338 01:08:44,394 --> 01:08:47,099 I could set the building on fire. 1339 01:08:47,188 --> 01:08:51,268 Is there some way to just give the money back? 1340 01:08:51,359 --> 01:08:54,147 Hand them a cheque for the exact amount they're missing? 1341 01:08:54,238 --> 01:08:57,154 L... I think they'd figure that out. 1342 01:08:57,240 --> 01:08:59,482 Well, we have to do something. 1343 01:08:59,576 --> 01:09:01,568 Maybe we could launder the money. 1344 01:09:02,912 --> 01:09:04,869 That's a great idea. 1345 01:09:04,956 --> 01:09:05,987 OK, how do we do that? 1346 01:09:06,082 --> 01:09:07,791 I don't know. 1347 01:09:07,876 --> 01:09:09,536 I don't even know what it means. I was hoping you knew. 1348 01:09:09,627 --> 01:09:11,335 I think coke dealers do it. 1349 01:09:11,421 --> 01:09:13,995 OK, all right. Do we know any coke dealers? 1350 01:09:14,883 --> 01:09:16,377 My cousin's a cokehead. 1351 01:09:21,890 --> 01:09:23,432 Fuck. 1352 01:09:23,517 --> 01:09:24,761 We're in deep shit. 1353 01:09:24,851 --> 01:09:28,517 Yes, we are in very, very deep shit. 1354 01:09:33,527 --> 01:09:35,436 - Milton. - Yes. 1355 01:09:35,529 --> 01:09:36,691 What's happening? 1356 01:09:36,780 --> 01:09:39,271 Say, Milton, you know what'd be great? 1357 01:09:39,366 --> 01:09:40,445 But... no. 1358 01:09:40,534 --> 01:09:42,278 Since you're down here... 1359 01:09:42,370 --> 01:09:45,572 it would be really great if you could just sort of... 1360 01:09:45,664 --> 01:09:48,417 take care of the cockroach problem we've had in here. 1361 01:09:48,501 --> 01:09:51,501 That's really not my job, and I haven't received my paycheque... 1362 01:09:51,587 --> 01:09:53,379 For now, why don't you go ahead... 1363 01:09:53,464 --> 01:09:56,798 and get yourself a flashlight and a can of pesticide... 1364 01:09:56,885 --> 01:09:58,047 and crawl down... 1365 01:09:58,135 --> 01:10:00,543 Bill? We need you upstairs right away. 1366 01:10:00,638 --> 01:10:02,465 We got a big problem... big. 1367 01:10:02,557 --> 01:10:05,474 Some major glitch in accounting, a lot of money missing. 1368 01:10:10,690 --> 01:10:11,853 'Scuse me. 1369 01:10:13,692 --> 01:10:14,855 'Scuse me. 1370 01:10:17,531 --> 01:10:21,445 OK... but that's the last straw. 1371 01:10:21,534 --> 01:10:23,942 Here we go, here we go. 1372 01:10:24,037 --> 01:10:28,284 Uh, launder. "To clean," no. "To wash..." 1373 01:10:28,375 --> 01:10:31,578 "To conceal the source of money... 1374 01:10:31,670 --> 01:10:34,920 "as by channelling it through an intermediary." 1375 01:10:35,715 --> 01:10:37,091 "To conceal..." 1376 01:10:37,176 --> 01:10:39,631 That doesn't really help us, Michael. 1377 01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:41,428 I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. 1378 01:10:41,513 --> 01:10:43,636 We're looking up money laundering in a dictionary. 1379 01:10:43,723 --> 01:10:48,219 Yeah, well, you guys can both eat my ass, OK? 1380 01:10:48,311 --> 01:10:50,020 I can't believe Joanna slept with Lumbergh. 1381 01:10:50,105 --> 01:10:51,268 That's what I can't believe. 1382 01:10:51,357 --> 01:10:54,310 - Yeah. You didn't know that? - Yeah, you didn't know that? 1383 01:10:54,401 --> 01:10:56,441 A couple of years ago, before he moved to Atlanta. 1384 01:10:58,906 --> 01:11:02,774 You mean Ron Lumbergh, the Initrode guy? The young guy? 1385 01:11:02,869 --> 01:11:05,360 Yeah. Who'd you think I meant? Bill? 1386 01:11:07,415 --> 01:11:10,250 Her fucking... Her children would have hooves. 1387 01:11:12,128 --> 01:11:13,788 Ron's not related to Bill, is he? 1388 01:11:15,256 --> 01:11:16,964 Who's that? 1389 01:11:17,967 --> 01:11:19,461 All right, nobody panic. 1390 01:11:19,552 --> 01:11:21,213 Probably just Lawrence. 1391 01:11:24,724 --> 01:11:26,468 Good evening, sir. My name is Steve. 1392 01:11:26,560 --> 01:11:28,053 I come from a rough area. 1393 01:11:28,144 --> 01:11:29,721 I used to be addicted to crack... 1394 01:11:29,812 --> 01:11:31,687 but now I'm off and trying to stay clean. 1395 01:11:31,773 --> 01:11:34,181 That is why I'm selling magazine subscriptions. 1396 01:11:34,276 --> 01:11:36,269 - No, no. - Wait a minute. 1397 01:11:36,361 --> 01:11:38,318 You used to be addicted to crack? 1398 01:11:39,572 --> 01:11:41,115 Yeah. Um... 1399 01:11:42,743 --> 01:11:44,865 Look, I'm very sorry. 1400 01:11:44,953 --> 01:11:47,444 I do not know anything about any money laundering. 1401 01:11:47,539 --> 01:11:49,947 We're not asking you about money laundering. 1402 01:11:50,042 --> 01:11:51,417 All we need is for you to hook us... 1403 01:11:51,501 --> 01:11:53,293 If he doesn't know anybody... 1404 01:11:53,378 --> 01:11:55,122 No. Wait a minute. 1405 01:11:55,214 --> 01:11:58,130 Look, you just give us the name of one drug dealer. 1406 01:11:58,216 --> 01:12:00,625 I could talk to him. I have good networking skill. 1407 01:12:00,719 --> 01:12:01,835 I lied. 1408 01:12:01,929 --> 01:12:04,965 All that stuff I said about being a crackhead... 1409 01:12:05,057 --> 01:12:07,464 just helps me sell magazines. 1410 01:12:07,559 --> 01:12:10,051 I'm actually an unemployed software engineer. 1411 01:12:13,857 --> 01:12:16,942 - You're a software engineer? - Yep. 1412 01:12:17,027 --> 01:12:19,565 Things, they must be very rough for you. 1413 01:12:19,655 --> 01:12:21,280 Actually, man... 1414 01:12:21,366 --> 01:12:23,358 I make more money selling magazine subscriptions... 1415 01:12:23,451 --> 01:12:24,910 than I ever did at Initrode. 1416 01:12:24,995 --> 01:12:27,116 Heh. At Initrode? 1417 01:12:27,204 --> 01:12:29,162 Wait a minute, you're not gonna tell anybody... 1418 01:12:29,248 --> 01:12:30,577 about all this stuff we told you. 1419 01:12:30,667 --> 01:12:33,869 I mean, we know a lot of the same people. That's... 1420 01:12:35,714 --> 01:12:38,383 Actually, um, that all depends. 1421 01:12:43,263 --> 01:12:46,347 What am I gonna do with forty subscriptions to "Vibe"? 1422 01:12:47,642 --> 01:12:48,721 We never should have done this. 1423 01:12:48,810 --> 01:12:50,637 What were we thinking? 1424 01:12:51,563 --> 01:12:52,642 You know what I can't figure out? 1425 01:12:52,731 --> 01:12:55,898 How is it that all these stupid Neanderthal Mafia guys... 1426 01:12:55,984 --> 01:12:57,359 can be so good at crime... 1427 01:12:57,444 --> 01:12:59,936 and smart guys like us can suck so badly at it? 1428 01:13:00,031 --> 01:13:01,571 We're new to it, though. 1429 01:13:01,656 --> 01:13:04,148 If we had more experience... 1430 01:13:04,243 --> 01:13:07,612 No. You know what I think? I think we're screwed. 1431 01:13:07,705 --> 01:13:09,163 I think there's enough evidence... 1432 01:13:09,248 --> 01:13:11,287 all over that building to link us to this. 1433 01:13:11,374 --> 01:13:13,451 Even if we could launder money, I wouldn't want to. 1434 01:13:13,544 --> 01:13:15,121 What we've done is bad enough. 1435 01:13:15,212 --> 01:13:16,456 We get caught laundering money... 1436 01:13:16,546 --> 01:13:18,504 we're not going to white-collar resort prison. 1437 01:13:18,591 --> 01:13:21,508 No. We're going to federal "pound me in the ass" prison. 1438 01:13:21,594 --> 01:13:23,633 I don't want to go to any prison. 1439 01:13:23,721 --> 01:13:25,962 Why the hell did I do this? 1440 01:13:26,056 --> 01:13:28,727 I've never done anything wrong in my whole life. 1441 01:13:28,810 --> 01:13:30,007 We weren't thinking clearly... 1442 01:13:30,102 --> 01:13:32,261 because you told us we were losing our jobs. 1443 01:13:32,355 --> 01:13:34,644 Now look at us, we're worried about going in a prison. 1444 01:13:34,733 --> 01:13:36,938 Don't worry about it. I'll think of something. 1445 01:13:38,653 --> 01:13:40,692 I'm going home. 1446 01:13:40,780 --> 01:13:41,943 Me, too. 1447 01:13:43,616 --> 01:13:47,780 You are a very... Bad person, Peter. 1448 01:14:08,016 --> 01:14:09,392 Lawrence, you awake? 1449 01:14:09,477 --> 01:14:10,721 Yeah. 1450 01:14:12,479 --> 01:14:13,677 You wanna come over? 1451 01:14:13,772 --> 01:14:14,852 No, thanks, man. 1452 01:14:14,940 --> 01:14:17,147 I don't want you fucking up my life, too. 1453 01:14:22,698 --> 01:14:25,568 In light of the senselessness of these heinous crimes... 1454 01:14:25,658 --> 01:14:28,067 that you have committed against Initech... 1455 01:14:28,162 --> 01:14:31,163 I hereby sentence you, Michael Bolton... 1456 01:14:31,248 --> 01:14:36,076 and Samir Naan... Nanadajibad... 1457 01:14:36,170 --> 01:14:38,412 to a term of no less than four years... 1458 01:14:38,506 --> 01:14:42,088 in a federal "pound me in the ass" prison. 1459 01:14:45,930 --> 01:14:47,721 Peter Gibbons... 1460 01:14:47,807 --> 01:14:50,558 you've led a trite and meaningless life... 1461 01:14:52,312 --> 01:14:55,228 and you're a very bad person. 1462 01:15:32,478 --> 01:15:33,641 Hey. 1463 01:15:35,064 --> 01:15:37,602 You're not working at Chotchkie's anymore, huh? 1464 01:15:37,691 --> 01:15:39,850 No, no. I got fired. 1465 01:15:40,653 --> 01:15:43,108 - What happened? - I flipped off my boss. 1466 01:15:43,197 --> 01:15:45,273 Some customers... 1467 01:15:45,366 --> 01:15:47,110 Actually, a line cook... 1468 01:15:47,201 --> 01:15:49,194 but he just happened to be standing there, so... 1469 01:15:50,496 --> 01:15:52,572 I might be going away for a while. 1470 01:15:52,665 --> 01:15:56,081 Uh... to jail. 1471 01:15:56,169 --> 01:15:58,078 You were right about that computer scam. 1472 01:15:58,171 --> 01:15:59,499 That was a bad idea. 1473 01:15:59,588 --> 01:16:02,163 I'm gonna take the blame for it, I decided. 1474 01:16:03,343 --> 01:16:05,584 I'm on my way now to return the money... 1475 01:16:05,678 --> 01:16:08,051 and leave the confession under Lumbergh's door. 1476 01:16:10,433 --> 01:16:11,678 Joanna, I want to apologise. 1477 01:16:11,768 --> 01:16:14,259 I had no right to get pissed off at you about Lumbergh. 1478 01:16:14,354 --> 01:16:15,932 Lumbergh is not my problem. 1479 01:16:16,022 --> 01:16:18,062 It wasn't even the right Lumbergh. 1480 01:16:18,149 --> 01:16:22,017 I don't know why I can't just... Go to work and be happy... 1481 01:16:22,112 --> 01:16:24,520 like I'm supposed to, like everybody else. 1482 01:16:24,615 --> 01:16:26,773 Peter, most people don't like their jobs. 1483 01:16:26,867 --> 01:16:30,817 But you go out there and find something that makes you happy. 1484 01:16:30,913 --> 01:16:32,786 Yeah. Well... 1485 01:16:34,457 --> 01:16:36,498 I may never be happy at my job... 1486 01:16:36,585 --> 01:16:39,455 but I think that if I could be with you... 1487 01:16:39,546 --> 01:16:41,539 that I could be happy with my life. 1488 01:16:41,632 --> 01:16:43,624 I've been a real asshole. 1489 01:16:43,717 --> 01:16:46,802 But, if you'd give it another shot, I promise... 1490 01:16:46,887 --> 01:16:48,131 OK, shut up. 1491 01:16:52,560 --> 01:16:55,311 Whoa! Hey, what's going on here? 1492 01:16:55,396 --> 01:16:57,887 Get a room, you two! Ha ha! 1493 01:17:01,360 --> 01:17:03,436 I hate that guy. 1494 01:17:54,373 --> 01:17:56,449 Then Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll... 1495 01:17:56,542 --> 01:17:59,115 and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh. 1496 01:17:59,211 --> 01:18:01,784 And I still haven't received my paycheque. 1497 01:18:01,880 --> 01:18:04,550 And he took my stapler, and he never brought it back. 1498 01:18:04,633 --> 01:18:06,958 And then they moved my desk to storage room "B." 1499 01:18:07,052 --> 01:18:08,880 And there was garbage on it, and... 1500 01:18:08,971 --> 01:18:11,462 Why don't you go back down and sit at your desk? 1501 01:18:11,556 --> 01:18:13,016 Mr. Lumbergh should be here any minute. 1502 01:18:13,100 --> 01:18:16,304 - Mr. Lumbergh... - Just go sit at your desk. 1503 01:18:16,396 --> 01:18:18,851 OK. But, l... I'm gonna just... 1504 01:18:26,530 --> 01:18:28,358 I have to take my stapler back... 1505 01:18:28,449 --> 01:18:32,149 because I told him it's my stapler. 1506 01:18:37,041 --> 01:18:38,868 It's my stapler. 1507 01:18:38,960 --> 01:18:42,709 A Swingline, the brand I've been using for a long time. 1508 01:19:01,900 --> 01:19:03,229 Lawrence, you in there? 1509 01:19:05,071 --> 01:19:07,109 Whoa. Hey, Peter, man. 1510 01:19:07,197 --> 01:19:08,857 Hey. 1511 01:19:08,949 --> 01:19:11,155 So, I might be going away for a while. 1512 01:19:11,243 --> 01:19:13,153 Yeah, I know, man. 1513 01:19:13,246 --> 01:19:15,736 It's a bummer, dude. What can I say? 1514 01:19:15,831 --> 01:19:17,871 Yeah. Yeah. 1515 01:19:19,544 --> 01:19:23,043 Well, time to go face the music. 1516 01:19:23,130 --> 01:19:25,704 You take care of yourself if I don't see you, all right? 1517 01:19:25,800 --> 01:19:28,290 You too, man. Take her easy, bud. 1518 01:19:28,385 --> 01:19:29,845 All right. 1519 01:19:30,971 --> 01:19:32,347 Hey, Peter. 1520 01:19:32,432 --> 01:19:34,092 Yeah? 1521 01:19:35,225 --> 01:19:36,886 Watch out for your cornhole, bud. 1522 01:19:38,396 --> 01:19:39,807 OK, Lawrence. 1523 01:19:53,537 --> 01:19:56,027 Stay clear, now. Stay clear. 1524 01:19:56,122 --> 01:19:58,281 Holy shit. 1525 01:21:07,779 --> 01:21:10,531 Wait a minute. Let me take a look at that. 1526 01:21:11,366 --> 01:21:12,742 You don't want that, Peter, man. 1527 01:21:12,827 --> 01:21:14,200 That's toasted, man. 1528 01:21:14,285 --> 01:21:17,489 I think I know someone who might want this. 1529 01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:29,963 Hey, man. 1530 01:21:31,220 --> 01:21:33,012 Wanna go to lunch? 1531 01:21:33,764 --> 01:21:35,044 Brought mine in a pail... 1532 01:21:35,140 --> 01:21:37,714 plus Joanna's supposed to come by a little later. 1533 01:21:38,727 --> 01:21:41,136 How do you like your new job? 1534 01:21:41,231 --> 01:21:43,139 Not too bad, not too bad. 1535 01:21:43,232 --> 01:21:44,809 How's Penetrode? 1536 01:21:44,900 --> 01:21:46,525 Initrode. 1537 01:21:46,611 --> 01:21:47,892 They're all right. 1538 01:21:47,988 --> 01:21:49,315 It's work. 1539 01:21:49,404 --> 01:21:51,065 Yeah, yeah. 1540 01:21:51,157 --> 01:21:52,817 Probably get you a job there. 1541 01:21:52,909 --> 01:21:54,700 No, thanks. I, uh... 1542 01:21:54,786 --> 01:21:56,196 I'm doing good here. 1543 01:21:58,039 --> 01:22:01,872 So, uh... We're gonna be OK, right? 1544 01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:03,786 Yeah. 1545 01:22:04,712 --> 01:22:07,168 I think the fire pretty much took care of everything. 1546 01:22:07,257 --> 01:22:09,829 I wonder if the money burn up. 1547 01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:11,171 It would be shame. 1548 01:22:11,261 --> 01:22:12,636 Yeah. 1549 01:22:12,721 --> 01:22:15,592 So you sure you don't want us to get you a job? 1550 01:22:15,682 --> 01:22:18,967 That's one thing I'm definitely sure of. 1551 01:22:21,146 --> 01:22:23,020 All right, chief. 1552 01:22:23,106 --> 01:22:24,351 You guys take care, all right? 1553 01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:25,816 All right. 1554 01:22:26,944 --> 01:22:27,939 Stay in touch, man. 1555 01:22:28,028 --> 01:22:29,772 OK. Will do. 1556 01:22:33,992 --> 01:22:35,902 This isn't so bad, huh? 1557 01:22:37,080 --> 01:22:42,038 Making bucks, getting exercise, working outside. 1558 01:22:42,126 --> 01:22:43,917 Fuckin' "A." 1559 01:22:46,547 --> 01:22:48,290 Fuckin' "A." 1560 01:23:06,776 --> 01:23:08,982 Excuse me. Excuse me, señor. 1561 01:23:09,070 --> 01:23:10,944 May I speak to you, please? 1562 01:23:11,031 --> 01:23:13,603 I asked for a mai tai, and they brought a piña colada. 1563 01:23:13,699 --> 01:23:15,989 And I said no salt, no salt... 1564 01:23:16,077 --> 01:23:17,785 for the margarita, but it had salt on it. 1565 01:23:17,870 --> 01:23:20,444 Lo siento mucho, señor. Pinche gringo. 1566 01:23:20,540 --> 01:23:24,123 I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... 1567 01:23:24,210 --> 01:23:26,038 I could shut this whole resort down. 1568 01:23:26,130 --> 01:23:27,670 Sir? 1569 01:23:27,755 --> 01:23:32,216 I'll take my traveller's cheques to a competing resort. 1570 01:23:34,138 --> 01:23:36,628 I could write a letter to your board of tourism. 1571 01:23:36,723 --> 01:23:38,965 I could have this place condemned. 1572 01:23:39,059 --> 01:23:43,804 I could put, I could put strychnine in the guacamole. 1573 01:23:43,897 --> 01:23:46,436 There was salt on the glass, big grains of salt. 1574 01:24:01,373 --> 01:24:03,330 Give a ride on the old bone roller coaster. 1575 01:24:03,417 --> 01:24:05,457 Aaaah! 1576 01:24:20,060 --> 01:24:21,684 Don't come back in a dress, man. 1577 01:24:21,769 --> 01:24:23,975 Ha ha ha. You big fag. 1578 01:24:46,711 --> 01:24:47,956 I'm working at Hooters now, you know... 1579 01:24:48,046 --> 01:24:50,040 and it's very cool. 114148