Original subtitles

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

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[ Music continues ]

[ Roars ]

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Festive music ]

[ Indistinct chatter ]

Step right up to the platform, ladies and gentlemen.

You will see the greatest show on the Midway for only 50 cents.

These little ladies are entertaining you now,

but in just a moment,

Little Egypt will turn on her stuff.

She has danced before all the crown heads of Europe.

She makes blue blood turn into red.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up

and buy your tickets for Sandow, the strongest man in the world.

He juggles pianos. He plays marbles with cannonballs.

He lifts 10 times his own weight with one arm.

He can even raise his own salary.

[ Laughing ]

Now, folks, step right this way.

You are looking at the sensation of the fair

the eighth Wonder of the World.

Ladies and gentlemen, this way. This way.

This little lady has wiggled herself

from the sand of the desert to the shores of Lake Michigan.

And she's about to give you an exhibition absolutely free.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is not the dance

that Little Egypt does inside,

but to prove our generosity, we're going to give you

a demonstration of that famous dance, the hootchy-kootch.

Egypt, wiggle.

[ Laughing ]

That's sufficient. Now, ladies and gentlemen --

He's a masterpiece of manhood.

Step up to the box office and buy your tickets.

The show's about to begin.

Ladies and gentlemen, this --

[ Laughs ] Well, how's business, Ziggy?

[ Laughing ]

Indeed.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Sandow

concludes this performance by lifting

with Herculean strength, the largest dumbbell in the world.

An unusual feat, ladies and gentlemen,

for inside this huge dumbbell, there are other dumbbells.

Ladies and gentlemen, look.

Aww! There you are.

Aren't they beautiful? Aren't they glorious?

A total weight of 750 pounds.

Isn't it wonderful? Isn't it marvelous?

Let's give him a big hand.

[ Applause ]

And what made you bring me to a show of this kind?

Well, you wouldn't let me see Little Egypt.

I'll bet a heifer against a mare the weights ain't on the level.

750 pounds, my foot.

I wonder what her total weight is. Oh, Bill?

- Yes, sir. - Open the curtains, will you?

Open up those curtains.

Hey, Bill, you know, it seems to me that this platform --

Oh, hello, baby. Want some candy, Jane, huh?

Bill, it seems to me that we ought to have this

platform built higher.

There ought to be lot more steps here.

The people in the back row can hardly see him at all.

But, Mr. Ziegfeld, there's never anybody in the back rows.

Well, nevertheless, I want this higher.

There ought to be a lot more steps.

Okay, Mr. Ziegfeld.

I'm sorry i lost my temper, Florenz.

But I am awful disappointed.

I hope you never get downright disgusted.

What is wrong? Why don't they come in?

You're the attraction, and you're asking me?

Maybe you would like to cancel my contract.

Oh, no, Sandow. When i make a deal, it's a deal.

I like that. I like you.

Well, I like you, too.

If you want to pay me some of my back salary,

I'd take you to dinner, yeah?

Well, I'm not very hungry.

What's the matter? You're not worrying

about your money, are you?

You don't think I'd ever walk out on you?

No, no.

Nobody do that to Sandow.

Maybe i better take you to dinner.

That's fine!

Hands up, mister, and give me all your money.

Well, I can't give you anything with my hands up, sweetheart.

Alright, fresh, 23 skidoo for you. I'll help myself.

Oh, no. Oh, I see you got my little surprise.

Uh-huh. This morning. Gee, ain't it swell?

- Were you really surprised? - Well, wouldn't you be?

- Yes. - If you expected a diamond ring.

Oh, don't be -- Tell you what we'll do.

We'll go to the Little Vienna Restaurant

and have something to eat, huh?

- Oh, I'd like that. -[ Laughs ] Well!

- Telegram, Mr. Billings. - Oh, thank you.

Well, just wait a minute. There might be an answer. Let me see.

- Oh, well, I'll be. - Bad news?

No, no, it's from Ziegfeld. He's right across the Midway.

He can reach out and touch me, but he has to send wires.

Listen to this one, "In Little Egypt, you have the best female

attraction of the fair.

In Sandow, I have the greatest male attraction in the world.

Why not fake a romance?

The newspapers will fall for it. The people will eat it up.

Then we can show them together,

and i'd be willing to split 50-50."

Well, that sounds like a great idea.

Oh, yes, great.

I'm selling out every performance, and he's going to

be thrown out on Saturday, and he's willing to split 50-50.

Give me your pencil, boy. I'll answer this one.

- Oh, Jack? - Yes.

Is Ziegfeld a good friend of yours?

Oh, yes, we've been pals for years.

- But you wouldn't like him. - No?

No, he's up one day and broke the next.

If he got $ 10,000 tomorrow,

he'd spend it on the girl he happened to like tomorrow night.

You wouldn't want to waste your time

meeting a fellow like that.

Oh, not if i met him on the right night.

On the right... Oh, don't you...

[ Laughs ]

Shut up! And just send that collect.

Yes, sir, and i'll deliver it, too, sir.

Because every time i take Mr. Ziegfeld a message,

he always gives me 50 cents.

- Oh, he does, does he? - Sure.

Yes, well, that's probably why he's always broke.

Come on, dear.

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Applause ]

This cheese is so strong it could walk over

and say hello to your coffee.

Well, it had better not. This coffee's too weak to answer it.

[ Laughs ]

Florenz, you're wonderful.

You make jokes even when you're so worried

you can't touch your cold cuts.

I got no appetite neither.

No?

Message for you, Mr. Ziegfeld.

They told me i'd find you here.

From Billings.

So soon he answers? He must be crazy about your proposition.

- Yeah. - Read it to me, Flo. Read it.

"Dear Ziggy, your proposition interests me."

- What did i tell you? - Ah, yeah.

"But why fake a romance between Sandow and Little Egypt?

Let's make Sandow marry Little Egypt,

and i'll split the children with you 50-50."

That message was collect.

- Oh. -50 cents.

Have you change for a dollar?

- Oh, sure, but you always... -[ Chuckles ] Keep it.

Gee, thanks. [ Laughs ]

Florenz, I love you. I will break chains for you.

I will lift buildings for you,

but i will not have children for you.

But -- but if i have children, I will not split them.

[ Laughing ]

Oh, hello, Ziggy, I got your wire.

I just got yours, too.

Patterson tells me he's putting you out Saturday.

- He tells me, too. - How do you do, Mr. Ziegfeld?

How do you...

How do you do, Miss...

Yes, Blair, this is Mr. Ziegfeld.

I'm very happy to know you, Miss Blair.

Oh, I'm so happy to meet you, Mr. Ziegfeld.

And this is Mr. Sandow, the strongest man in the...

The strongest man in the world.

Jack tells me the loveliest things about you.

Oh, yes, I imagine.

I could tell you some lovely things about yourself, too.

He's only just met you, and now

he's going to tell you all about yourself.

[ Laughing ]

- Won't you sit down? - Thank you.

Oh, but no, we've got... There's a table --

I've seen you. I've seen you many times

on the Midway, Miss Blair.

Oh, fibber. I bet you never even noticed me.

Oh, yes, I have.

Only yesterday, you were wearing a red dress

-trimmed in black lace. - Yes.

And a yellow hat, and it was atrocious.

Oh, indeed?

Oh, each was alright in itself, mind you

but the combination, whoo!

And last Sunday, you were wearing a blue gown

and an orchid hat.

- Well, yes. - And you were wrong again.

Well, aren't we the observer?

Do you always check up on the right combinations for women?

Always for beautiful women.

RUTH: Oh, well, that's nice. Thank you.

- How do i look today? - Well, I don't like your hat.

It shades your eyes, and i like your eyes.

Oh, thank you.

See, he ought to be packing his own clothes

right now instead of selecting yours.

Come on, Ruth, we've got to go.

Well, goodbye, then.

I'll be seeing you around the grounds, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Yes. Well, not after Saturday, you won't.

[ Laughing ]

That fella Billings makes me mad.

Even that music from his Little Egypt drives me crazy.

ZIEGFELD: Oh, don't worry.

You won't have to listen to it much longer.

Wait a minute.

Oh, come away, Florenz.

For five weeks, you've been touching that elephant for luck.

And now in five days, we get put out.

I know it's superstition, but an old Hindu told me

that if you touch an elephant's trunk, and he raises it

everything will be alright.

Oh, wait, wait.

We know we got hard luck without that elephant should tell us.

Say, I know what's wrong.

You should touch him. You're the attraction.

- Me? - Sure. Go on, go ahead.

It sounds silly, but alright, I'll do it.

[ Laughs ]

Look, Florenz, would he do that for me? The Great Sandow.

[ Spraying ]

[ Crowd laughing ]

Sandow.

So that's what you call good luck, yeah?

Look, Sandow, you know you've got to expect

a little rain with the sunshine.

Oh!

That was very embarrassing, Florenz, very embarrassing.

Ahh, don't get your dander up. Who knows?

Maybe that little shower will bring us oodles of luck.

Well, I hope it brings us so much

business like that Little Egypt.

Look at those peoples, how they crowd in

to see that woman make wiggles

when yet they wouldn't come to see me lift weights

that no other man in the world can lift.

You know, Sandow, I'm afraid your trouble is

you developed the wrong muscles.

What you say?

Every muscle in Sandow's body is developed.

Even the toes, like that.

With one arm, I make a better muscle dance

than that Little Egypt with the whole body.

Look, boss.

[ Festive music ]

WOMAN: Good heavens!

Are you Mr. Sandow, the strongman?

Yes, madam, this is the Great Sandow.

Oh, look at those huge shoulders.

Aren't they marvelous, Pat?

- Yes, dear, come on. - And that big chest.

Why, I never saw a chest like that before.

Oh, darling, come on.

And his waistline, oh, it's simply magnificent.

- Now, precious, come on. - Just a minute, dear.

Mr. Sandow, I think your muscles are simply astounding.

Perhaps madam would like to feel the muscles of the Great Sandow.

- Oh, I'd love to. - Sandow, your arm.

[ Sighs ]

- Florenz, is she dead? - No, she's only fainted.

But, oh, what an idea. Come on!

What? Wait a minute. What's wrong?

- Where are you going? - To the papers.

- Where? - To the newspapers.

I'm going to fill them so full of this

the women will be fighting to see you.

Not to watch you lift weights and bend steel bars,

but simply to feel your muscles.

Why, Sandow, you've got more sex appeal in your one arm

than Little Egypt has in her whole...

Sandow, the modern Hercules. The miracle of strength.

Watch his muscles quiver in musical rhythm. Sandow, quiver.

[ Festive music ]

Sufficient.

And now, ladies, if you want to see more of the Great Sandow,

if your hearts are strong enough to stand the thrill,

step right up and buy your ticket.

The show starts in five minutes.

- Folks, this is the show -- - How's business, Jack?

[ Instrumental music ]

- Alright? - Mm-hmm.

- Doesn't it sparkle? - Yes, doesn't it?

- You like it? - I certainly do.

I'm glad.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Piano music ]

[ Music continues ]

- Dr. Ziegfeld. - Yeah?

Can't i play my piece for you now?

I get awful tired of this...

-[ Playing piano ] - Da, da, da, da...

[ Laughs ]

Well, I don't blame you, Mary Lou. So do i.

Go ahead, then. Go on, play your little piece now.

[ Piano music ]

- Dr. Ziegfeld? - Yes, dear?

Do you know i was mad at your son?

What? Mad at your best fella?

[ Laughs ]

Oh, but why?

Because he left us for that old World's Fair.

Oh, well, darling, you know the fair closed yesterday.

And is he coming back here again?

Well, I...I hope so.

Go on. You go on with your lesson.

[ Piano music ]

- Dr. Ziegfeld. - Yes, dear.

Did you know i was going to marry your son?

[ Laughs ] Well, well, this is so sudden.

[ Chuckles ] Are you?

Oh, yes. We got that settled months ago.

Oh, yes, father, didn't you Mary Lou and i are engaged?

[ Clears throat ]

Well, don't i get a kiss today?

Not even a smile?

[ Gasps ] Well, father, what do you think of that?

My future wife won't even kiss me,

and i brought her a present, too.

What?

- Kiss first. - No, present first.

No, kiss first.

I'll tell you what. We'll both give at the same time.

How's that? I'll count three. Ready? One.

- Two. - Same time, remember.

Three.

Oh! Oh, thank you so much.

- Dr. Ziegfeld, isn't it lovely? - Beautiful.

I'm going to open it right now.

- Right now. Yes. - Oh, well, well, well.

Well, Florenz, what have you decided to do?

Well, I'm going to New York tomorrow, dad.

With that Sandow, that strongman?

Father, I don't really belong here. No, I don't like it.

You don't like it, huh?

The greatest music conservatory in the country.

I built it all myself.

Students from all over the world are coming here,

and you, you don't like it.

You realize that maybe somewhere in one of these rooms here

we find a future Beethoven or Liszt?

And you, my own son, all you want is a circus.

A circus with a fellow that can throw cannonballs around, huh.

Come now, dad, don't be upset.

- Sandow is a means to an end. - Yeah, to your end.

Look, when you was a little fellow like that, since then,

I've educated you in music and art.

From your mother, you got the refinement, taste, culture.

What good has it all done? What has it done to you, huh?

What are you now anyhow?

A muscle manager. A beef exhibitor.

[ Chuckles ]

Then you got to go on the outside, and you got to be...

You got to act like a dog outside. You act like a dog.

Oh, well, now, father, wait a minute. What do you mean, a dog?

You know what i mean. I don't mean you're a dog,

But i mean you got to --

you got to go outside and be a barker.

A barker! That's a dog, ain't it?

Now, listen, let me tell you something.

If you go away from here,

I'll never speak to you again as long as i live.

- Oh, dad, you don't mean that. - Yes, i do mean it.

And i mean... l mean every word of it.

[ Crying]

Hey, wait a minute.

Now, you just stop that crying.

Now, you tell your fellow why you're crying.

If you're my fellow, why are you going away?

Wha...[ Laughs ]

Now look here, you sit right up here,

and i'll tell you all about it.

Now, I'll be honest with you.

I'm not really your fellow.

You mean you don't like me anymore?

Oh, I not only like you, I love you.

But you know, I'm the funniest kind of a fellow.

I love all the girls.

How can you do that? Do they let you?

Oh!

Well, you didn't quite understand what i mean, darling.

Ah, look.

Some people like beautiful paintings.

- Like that one? - Like that one.

Some people love beautiful flowers.

- Like those? - Like those.

Now, I love beautiful little girls like this one.

And you know what i'm going to do someday?

What?

I'm going to take all the beautiful little girls like you,

and i'm going to put them together

and make pictures with them.

- Will i be in a picture? - Well, I should say you will.

But in the meantime, I think

that we ought to break our engagement.

Why?

Well, because there are going to be lots of little boys

come around who are going to want to take you out

and buy you sodas.

And of course, if you're engaged to me

you can't go out with them.

Why can't i?

Why, because if you're married to me

I'm not going to have you running around with other boys.

Well, I couldn't stand for that.

- You couldn't? - Well, of course i couldn't.

[ Laughing ]

Well, what are you laughing at?

At you, you're jealous.

Well, you can just bet I'm jealous.

Oh, oh! Well, now I've got to run along.

Whoopie!

Florenz.

Will you be home to dinner tonight?

Yes, dad.

Well, I'll see you then.

And in the meantime, son, remember

anything you do, I wish you luck.

I knew you would.

[ Dramatic music ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Applause ]

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Train horn blaring ]

[ Train chugging ]

[ Indistinct chatter ]

Thank you. Thank you.

Greetings. Greetings to San Francisco

from my troupe, including

the strongest man in the world, Sandow.

[ Cheering ]

[ Instrumental music ]

Oh, uh, Humane Society?

Say, what's this i read in the papers about a lion and a bear?

Well, is your society going to tolerate such an atrocity?

Are you going to spill the blood of two dumb animals

over the good name of San Francisco?

Well, I didn't think you'd permit such cruelty.

Why, it would be a crime to send a poor grizzly bear

into a cage with a man-eating lion.

Crime!

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Clapping ]

[ Dramatic music ]

[ Roars ]

[ Audience booing ]

[ Laughing ]

What's so funny?

Oh, you wouldn't understand

because you don't know Ziegfeld.

But the police are after him, and this paper's two weeks old,

so he's probably in jail by now.

- But do you know him, Jack? - Oh, yeah, he's a pal of mine.

[ Slow instrumental music ]

Hello.

Well, Jack, this -- this is a surprise.

I'm certainly glad to see you aboard.

Yes, well, I'm glad i...

Pardon me, I'll be back in a few minutes, darling.

I thought perhaps you were in a --

- Hey, who is she? -[ Chuckles ] You'll never know.

Tell me. What happened in Frisco?

Did you really send Sandow in against a lion?

Sure, but the lion wouldn't fight.

Oh, wouldn't or couldn't?

Well, to tell you the truth, Jack,

I didn't stay for the finish.

- I sort of thought that... - Yes, I know.

Yeah, well, where is Sandow now?

Oh, he's in New York. He's going into the legitimate.

What do you think of that?

Yeah, he's with Lillian Russell in "As You Like It."

Yeah, well, I don't think I'd like it.

What are you going to Europe for, another strongman?

Oh, no, no. Just a little vacation.

- London? - Well, Monte Carlo first.

Oh, you're gonna lose all the money you made on Sandow, huh?

- No, I'm going to double it. - Oh, yes.

What are you going over for, another Little Egypt?

Oh, no, just a rest.

Of course, if i see any exceptional talent,

I'll pick it up.

Well, naturally. So will i.

Oh, you got anybody in mind?

No, no. Why, have you?

No. No.

Only the greatest artist in Europe, that's all.

Say, who's that?

If i told you, you'd cross me before we crossed the ocean.

[ Laughing ]

Beg pardon, sir.

Miss Carlisle wishes to know whether

there will be three for tea or just two.

Oh, no, just two. Yes, just two.

[ Laughing ]

- Miss Carlisle, huh? - Yes, sir.

Oh, thank you.

You are, uh, you're Mr. Billings' man, are you?

- Yes, sir. - Well.

You're very efficient.

- What is your name? - Sidney, sir.

Sidney. How much does Mr. Billings pay you, Sidney?

100 a month, sir.

Oh. Well, that's not very much, is it?

I hadn't thought of it, sir.

Well, think of it, Sidney.

[ Clock dings ]

London Evening News. London Evening News.

Oh, take care of the luggage, will you?

And tip the doorman, Sidney.

Yes, sir.

You have a reservation for Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.?

Yes, sir. Will you register, please?

Surely.

Is Mr. Billings still here?

- Yes, sir, on your floor. - Oh, yes.

Boy. Rooms 325 and 26.

Thank you.

[ Instrumental music ]

Sidney! Well, you ingrate, you deserter --

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Well, why didn't you tell me you were dissatisfied? I-I...

- You pirate. - Now wait a minute, Jack.

Gentlemen don't quarrel over gentlemen's gentlemen.

- Oh, you -- - Now, look.

Let me tell you the whole story.

If you're still angry, Sidney can go back with you.

- Oh, I -- - Look, Jack, it was this way.

I've always envied you.

Your dress, your style, the way you look.

So that when i saw your valet, and i realized

that it was he who took such magnificent care of you,

well, I just couldn't resist the temptation

of hiring him for myself.

[ Laughs ]

You mean, you wanted to look like me?

Well, that's right, Jack. I wanted to look just like you.

[ Laughs ]

You faker.

What are you doing here?

I thought you weren't going to be in London for weeks.

Oh, well, that's a long story.

You know, I was going to break at the bank at Monte Carlo.

Yes, I know. But the bank broke you, huh?

- What did you lose? -$50,000.

[ Laughs ]

- What have you got left? -50 cents.

50 cents. Well, I'll see you later.

But, Jack, wait a minute.

Lend me $5,000, will you?

[ Laughing ]

Well, would you?

Would you make it $2,500?

If i gave you $2,500, by the time you tipped

six bellboys, you'd be broke again.

Look, Jack, I really need it.

I'll tell you what i'll do.

I'll give you $500

if you'll catch the next boat back to New York.

There's one leaving in morning. How's that? Fair enough?

Well, it's fair, but not enough. Will you sail with me?

Oh, no, Mr. Ziegfeld. I have business in London.

Oh, haven't you got the world's greatest artist yet?

No, not yet, but i will have.

Who is it, Jack?

Oh, go on, you can tell me now. I'm broke.

Oh, I won't tell you till i have her name on the dotted line.

It's a her, is it?

Yes, and a beautiful her, too,

and she's signing the contract tonight.

- Goodbye, Mr. Ziegfeld. - Goodbye, Mr. Billings.

[ Instrumental music ]

I say, doorman, did Mr. Billings come out?

Just this moment drove away, sir.

Oh, that's too bad! I've got a very important message for him.

- Do you know where he went? - Yes, sir.

- The Palace music hall, sir. - Palace music hall?

- Is it a good show? - Oh, not so much, sir.

Except for the little French actress, sir.

She's truly wonderful.

She has eyes this big, sir.

And every time she blinks them at you,

[ Chuckles ] well, you jolly well blink yourself, sir.

- Yeah? - Have you seen Anna Held, sir?

No, no, I haven't, but i will tonight.

Thank you, sir.

I say, sir, do you realize you gave me five pounds?

Oh, yes, I'm trying to lose weight.

[ Laughs ]

♪ I have not been here very long ♪

♪ Yes, yes, 'm quite a stranger ♪

♪ And so to try an English song ♪

♪ May seem perhaps a danger ♪

♪ One plea i make, a favor slight ♪

♪ I hope you will not refuse me ♪

♪ But if i don't pronounce it right ♪

♪ You Kindly will excuse me ♪

♪ I am fond of games and fun you see ♪

♪ I wish you would come and play with me ♪

♪ For i have such a way with me ♪

♪ Away with me, a way with me ♪

♪ I have such a nice little way with me ♪

♪ Do not think it wrong ♪

♪ I should like you to play with me ♪

♪ To play with me, to play with me ♪

♪ I wish you would come and play with me ♪

♪ Play with me all the day long ♪

♪ Oh, I have such away with me ♪

♪ Away with me, a way with me ♪

♪ I have such a nice little way with me ♪

♪ Do not think it wrong ♪

♪ I should like you to play with me ♪

♪ To play with me, to play with me ♪

♪ I wish you would come and play with me ♪

♪ Play with me all day long, la la ♪

[ Applause ]

[ Violin music ]

[ Instrumental music ]

Oh, la la!

Isn't it magnificent?

- For me, Marie? - Oui, madame.

From whom?

Whoever gathered all the orchids in the world just for me?

I do not know, but they must've cost thousands of francs.

- Was no card with it? Oh, yes. - Madame.

- Marie, this is very strange. - What, madame?

I learned the English words, I sing the English songs

and yet, I cannot read English.

What shall that mean? Please read it to me.

"My dear Miss Held, it is very important to your future

that you see me before signing any contracts.

I shall be waiting at the stage entrance

immediately after your performance.

Florenz Ziegfeld Jr."

Who's this Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.?

I do not know, madame.

And why is it junior? Is he a little boy?

MARIE: I do not know, madame.

I will not see this Mr. Ziegfeld Jr.

You will see Monsieur Billings, oui?

Oui.

Oh, Marie, these flowers are very nice.

I think i am polite and see this Monsieur Junior Ziegfeld.

MARIE: But Monsieur Billings is coming to talk to you about

the great American tour.

Has Madame forgotten his cables?

Oh, yes, that's alright.

But these flowers are very beautiful.

Oui, madame.

Well, Jack, she's alright.

Yeah, I know she is without you telling me.

I wish you wouldn't keep following me.

Alright.

- Well, good night. - Good night.

I wish you wouldn't annoy me. Miss Held is expecting me.

I'm going to sign the contract tonight.

Ooh, that's great.

-[ Chuckles ] You bet it is. - I said it was.

- Yes, well, good night. - Good night.

Will you stop shadowing me?

Jack, I'm not following you.

I just happen to be going your way.

Oh, you've got a date with a chorus girl, I suppose.

[ Chuckles ] You're going to spend that $500.

I can't spend it. I've spent it.

Oh, you've spent... Well, good night.

Good night.

I beg your pardon, sir, but --

Oh, I have an appointment with Miss Held.

- Is Mr. Ziegfeld out here? - Oh, no --

Yes, my dear. I'm Mr. Ziegfeld.

Mr. Ziegfeld, Miss Held would like you to come in, please.

- What, but -- - Would you mind that for me?

Well, good night, Jack.

Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld, your orchids.

They are the most beautiful orchids i have ever seen.

Won't you come in, Monsieur Ziegfeld?

Your flowers are so beautiful.

I could not resist the temptation to thank you.

- Miss Held. - Oui?

Do you mind my telling you

that you should never wear so many jewels on your hands?

- You think so? - Some women, yes.

But your hands, no.

Oh, that's a very nice compliment.

Did you hear that, Marie?

Won't you sit down, Monsieur Ziegfeld?

- Thank you. - I did not know Americans

could be so gallant.

Tell me, Monsieur Ziegfeld, are you in the theater?

Yes, I'm a producer.

You're a -- Did you hear that, Marie?

Monsieur Ziegfeld is an American producer.

Do you know Monsieur Billings?

- Billings? - Oui.

- Billings. - He's American producer, too.

- Oh, Is that so?? - Our!

- No, I've never heard of him. - No?

Of course, not in New York, that is.

America's a big country, Miss Held.

We still have many producers in the West

putting on shows for the Indians.

Indians? Do you mean the savages?

Yes.

- Did you hear that, Marie?? - MARIE: Our, madame.

I do not think I will like America.

Oh, you'll love New York.

- Would New York love me? - I think so.

You only think so? Did you not like my performance?

Yes and no.

Yes and no. What shall it mean? Does it mean yes or no?

Well, both.

Did you not care for my singing, no?

Yes. A trifle nasal, I thought, but yes.

And you did not like my costumes either?

No, I thought one dress was very attractive, but the rest, no.

Monsieur Ziegfeld, I think you are very rude.

Please go.

Marie, open the door.

Monsieur Ziegfeld.

Yes?

Come back, please.

Sit down.

You know, you are very honest.

I like you very much.

Your note says it is important to my future to see you.

Why is that?

If you want to play in New York, it is.

But i have many offers for New York now.

Oh, I've no doubt, but so have many others.

You know, there's foreign talent going into New York every day.

- Well, what happens to them? - What?

Well, they open at Tony Pastor's theater, and they get the hook.

The hook, what is that?

Hook, a little thing you catch fish with. You know, a hook.

Now, if i take you over, I'll present you on Broadway.

In a great show, in the best theater, to the best people.

I'll exploit you from coast to coast.

Exploit? What is that?

I'll put you over, I'll sell you.

- Sell me? - To the public.

And i'll make them pay for you.

And how much will you pay me?

I'll advertise your name from every corner.

Women will be wearing Anna Held hats,

Anna Held shoes, Anna Held corsets.

Even the children will know you.

But how about the money? How much will you pay me?

I'll give you more publicity than you've ever dreamed of.

Yes, that's alright. But how much money will you give me?

I'll give you the greatest opening night

that New York has ever had.

You'll see the Goulds, the Astors, the Vanderbilts.

"Diamond Jim" Brady, Lillian Russell.

- Lillian Russell? - Yes.

Oh, I would so much like to see her.

Well.

No, no. First you must speak about the money

because i have so many offers now.

I'll meet your biggest offer.

Really?

Well, that is very nice of you.

But maybe when you hear how much it is,

you don't think I'm worth so much.

How much is it?

They are all very good,

but the highest one is that of Mr. Billings.

He says he will give me 50,000 francs besides my salary,

which is very big, just to sign the contract.

That is, how much in American money, Marie?

$10,000, madame.

-$10,000, monsieur. -$10,000.

Oui, that's a very big amount.

And even if you would give me the $10,000

and i would sign with you, you still would

have to wait till i finished my London engagement.

I couldn't do that.

You couldn't even wait for me?

I couldn't even give you the $10,000.

You think it's too much, huh?

I think it isn't enough. But i haven't it.

What, you expect i should sign a contract for America with you?

And you don't even have $10,000?

I haven't even $1,000.

I did have before i stopped off at Monte Carlo,

but right now, I haven't even $100.

But i'll spread your name all over --

It is enough!

You just tried to make the fool of me.

You are the impostor! You are no gentleman!

Please go! Marie, open the door!

Oui, madame.

Monsieur Ziegfeld!

Come back, please!

Sit down.

You know, you're very honest. I like you very much.

[ Instrumental music ]

MAN: Mr. Vanderbilt's carriage! Mr. Van Rexler's carriage!

WOMAN: She has big eyes, doesn't she?

Yeah, but i couldn't understand a word she said.

I'll take Lillian Russell for my money.

- Mr. Astor's carriage! - Did you like her?

Cute, but i don't know. Did you notice the empty seats?

Miss Russell's carriage!

I think she's charming.

WOMAN: Why, there's Lillian Russell.

Mr. Thor's carriage!

Tell them i don't want a carriage.

Well?

The show's alright if they had an American star.

MAN: Mrs. Harriman's carriage!

Mr. Stuyvesant's carriage!

[ Laughing ]

May i have your carriage called, Mr. Brady?

Yes, thank you, son.

Oh, Ziggy! [ Chuckles ]

Stanford and i just made a little wager.

He bet me $5,000 that i wouldn't get back the $10,000

you borrowed to bring Anna over here.

MAN: Mr. Brady's carriage!

I'll split your end of the bet 50/50 with you, Mr. White.

I told you so. I told you so.

BRADY: Well, what's a few thousand dollars anyway?

MAN: Mr. Chandler's carriage!

Mr. Saks' carriage!

Balcony 22.

Well, Sampston, what's the loss this week?

The show earned a profit of $1,340.32.

You drew $2,550,

which gives us a loss of $1,209.68.

Well, that's terrible.

We can't keep the show running with losses like that.

- Say, where's Sage? - Upstairs.

Oh, what a press agent! He's never around!

Here, take a wire to him.

But he's just upstairs in his office, Mr. Ziegfeld.

I know it. Take a wire anyway.

- Yes, sir. -"How do you expect to do

business without publicity? Stop.

Anna held was the sensation of Europe. Stop.

Appeared before kings and queens. Stop.

Yet you get nothing in the papers about her. Stop.

You're ruining me. Stop.

If you're a press agent, I'm President Cleveland."

Stop.

Beg pardon.

♪ It's delightful to be married ♪

♪ To be be be be be be be be be be married ♪

♪ With a house, a man, a family ♪

♪ You should be happy as a bumblebee

♪ But it's better to be jolie ♪

♪ To be be be be be be be be be be jolie ♪

♪ When you... ♪

Pardon, madame. It is not jolie. It is jolie.

Jolie. That's what I said, jolie.

Pardon, it's my mistake. I mean jolly.

Jolly. Good. Please, let's start again. Jolly.

♪ But it's better to be jolie ♪

♪ To be be be be be be be be be be jolie ♪

♪ When you laugh and play the live long day ♪

♪ Oh, that's the life for me ♪

[ Singing in French ]

No, no, no...

I-I won't sing today. I can't sing today.

I'm much too much inside here.

Much too much.

Marie!

- Marie! - MARIE: Our, madame!

[ Speaking French ]

It's so silly for Anna Held to take singing lessons.

But Monsieur Ziegfeld did not ask me to teach you to sing.

I simply want to help madame

to lose a little of her French accent.

But your accent is much more than my accent, you accent,

and i don't want to lose my accent.

- Marie. - Oui, madame.

Did you try to get Monsieur Ziegfeld again?

- He is not home, madame. - Oh, please try it again.

And the newspaper reporters?

They are still waiting in the lobby, madame.

Well, tell them to go away.

Tell the hotel to push them out.

Tell them we are going back to France!

Madame!

Oui, Marie. That's what we will do.

We are going back to Paris.

[ Speaking French ]

[ Shouting ]

[ Piano music ]

- Shut up, Pierre! - I'm too happy, madame!

- Happy about what? - We are sailing for Paris.

Oui!

- No. - No?

No, I-I changed my mind.

Marie, go unpack my things.

- Oui, madame. - You see, it's true.

- It is not. - It is.

MARIE: No!

What is true, and what is not true?

Pierre says madame is in love with Monsieur Ziegfeld.

Did you say that, Pierre?

- Oui, madame. - Why did you say that, Pierre?

Because i'm afraid it's true.

Why are you afraid? Don't you like Monsieur Ziegfeld?

Oui, madame, that's the trouble.

Everybody likes him, especially the ladies.

Oh, madame, you'd never be happy with him.

You'd never be able to hold him.

Why, he attracts women like the flowers attract bees,

like the fly paper attract the flies.

Well, that's alright.

I've seen the flies on the fly paper,

and it seems to me they stick very well.

- Oh, but, madame -- - Pierre, please.

How can i love someone who plays tricks on me?

Puts terrible things in the newspaper?

Has millions of reporters annoying me?

Pardon, madame, the newspapers have been very nice to you.

Why don't you want to see the reporters?

Because i know exactly what it is they want to ask me.

You do not understand, no?

Frankly, no, madame.

Oh, then i will tell you what happened.

Two months ago, Monsieur Ziegfeld says to me,

"Anna, from now on i'm going to

send you everyday a big present.”

I say, "Thank you so much, Flo."

I mean, Mr. Ziegfeld.

"But already you send me orchids every morning."

Those are from him.

But he says, "No, Anna, this is something much more important."

So naturally i cannot wait to see what he sends me.

And the next day what do you think i get?

- A diamond ring? - No.

- A bracelet? - No.

- Four big cans of milk. - Milk!

20 gallons!

20 gallons of milk?

-20 gallons of milk. - Ha!

♪ 20 gallons of milk, la la ♪

♪ 20 gallons of milk, la la ♪

♪ La la la la ♪

Shut up!

♪ 20 gallons of mik ♪

Oh, madame...

Oh, please.

I'm so sorry.

Excuse me.

Well, that night i say to Flo... I mean Mr. Ziegfeld...

"Flo, why do you send me so much milk?"

And he just laughs and says,

"Anna, that's a great idea! You get it from now on every day."

"Every day 20 gallons of milk?" I say.

"Flo, who can drink so much milk?"

And do you know what he says?

"Don't drink it! Bathe in it! And you will be a big success."

- No! - Well, I'm too angry to speak!

In Paris, I was a big success because they liked my voice.

In London, I was a big success because they liked my singing.

But in America, to be a big success,

I need 20 gallons of milk and must sit in it!

Well, do you bathe in it, madame?

No, of course not.

But every day, we get the milk and every day, we take it in

because Monsieur Ziegfeld says we must carry out his idea.

And what happened? Did you read this morning the paper?

- No, madame. - Please.

"Ziegfeld is sued for Anna held's milk bill."

On the front page.

20 gallons of milk!

Oh, I'm so ashamed.

Marie, please call him again.

If he's not there, just leave the message.

Tell him i do not want one can more of milk from him!

And i don't want the orchids either!

-[ Telephone rings ] - Hello?

Oh, those reporters again. Tell them no, positively no.

I do not want to speak to them.

Madame, it is Monsieur Ziegfeld.

I don't want to speak to him either.

I never wish to speak to him again!

- Bien, madame. - Where is he?

Downstairs in the lobby, madame.

Tell him to come up.

But if he brings one of those reporters,

we just don't let him in.

No, no, Pierre! Let them on the floor!

I want him to see them there! I make him pick them up.

He embarrasses me! I embarrass him!

Madame! Madame!

If you would take my advice, you will not appear so excited!

Yes, you are right, Pierre.

Pierre, play! Play! I sing for you, yes.

Just like he's not here. We'll let him wait till i'm finished.

Come on, play, play.

[ Piano music ]

♪ It's delightful to be married ♪

♪ To be be be be be be be be be be married ♪

♪ With a house, a man, a family ♪

♪ You should be happy like a bumblebee ♪

♪ But it's better to be jolly ♪

Your missus is in lovely voice today, Marie.

Oui, monsieur. You will see.

♪ Ooh that's the life for me ♪

Marie, someone has apparently spilled the orchids.

Will you phone Sidney for me?

Have him send up another dozen immediately.

Bien, monsieur.

Well?

Why do you not pick these up?

Because fallen flowers, my dear, are like fallen stars.

They soon lose their luster.

Marie, pick them up.

No, no, no, I cannot sing today.

I told you before i'm much too angry to sing today,

and I'm sick of watching you roll your eyes like i do.

Please go home, yes? I give you your notes.

Please, take this. Go home, yes?

Go.

So, I'm a fallen star, yes?

I have no luster, no?

Oh, yes, you have, my dear. But do you know what it comes from?

I don't care!

What?

Milk baths, or at least

that's what you must tell the reporters.

I'm so hurt!

The front page of the paper says you are sued on my account!

If you must send me milk, why don't you pay for it?

If i did, it wouldn't be in the papers.

Can't you tell them i just used the milk without buying it

and being sued for it?

They wouldn't believe it. Now it's a matter of court record.

Besides they don't care whether i ever pay the bill or not.

All that interests them is that in

two months, you've used 1,200 gallons of milk.

This is terrible!

Marie, ask the reporters to come up.

Marie! Do nothing of the kind!

Anna, you must not insult the press.

If they come up, I'll tell the truth.

No, at first tell them nothing.

Desk, please.

Pretend embarrassment.

Pretend it! I was never so ashamed!

Desk clerk, are the gentlemen of the press

still waiting for Miss Held?

What are you doing?

Oh, yes, if you will, please.

I will say i never in my life took a milk bath.

I will tell them it is all a press story!

I will go back to France!

Marie, pack the things! Quickly!

- Oui, madame. - This time i mean it!

You cannot make a circus of me!

I am not a strong man like Sandow! i do not lift persons!

I'm a real artist, and i never, never will say that.

Yes? Oh, ask them to come right up, please.

Ohh!

Anna, don't you

realize that if we put this story over,

your name will be in headlines from coast to coast?

Every woman in the country will be

talking about you, imitating you.

I don't care!

I do not have to be a cow to be a success!

And before i make such a fool of myself

I tear up my contract with you. So!

And besides...

And besides, you do nothing as i like to have it.

It must all be your way!

I ask you a thousand times to have

costumes like Lillian Russell.

She has not to take milk baths to be a big success!

She is beautiful! But no, I cannot have gowns like her!

There now! Tell the reporters about that!

[ Crying]

- Anna. - I mean it! I'm determined.

Anna.

You let the reporters come up, yes?

Alright, I tell them everything.

Anna...

Well, I-I should tell them...no?

Anna.

Now, you do what i ask you to, darling,

and i'll do whatever you wish.

You mean you'll let me have gowns like Lillian Russell?

Oh, no, darling. You're not her type.

But i'll tell you what i will do.

What?

I'll put eight

Lillian Russells on the stage behind you.

Oh!

[ Instrumental music ]

♪ It's delightful to be married ♪

♪ To be be be be be be be be be be married ♪

♪ With a house, a man, a family ♪

♪ You should be happy like a bumblebee ♪

♪ But it's better to be jolie ♪

♪ To be be be be be be be be be be jolie ♪

♪ When you laugh and play the live long day ♪

♪ Well, that's the life for me ♪

♪ It's delightful to be married ♪

♪ To be be be be be be be be be be married ♪

♪ With a house, a man, a family ♪

♪ You should be happy like a bumblebee ♪

Isn't Anna beautiful?

I wonder if the milk baths really make her skin so nice.

Oh, they most certainly do.

I've been taking them for a long time.

♪ That's the life for me ♪

♪ It's delightful to be married ♪

♪ To be be be be be be be be be be married ♪

♪ With a house, a man, a family ♪

♪ You should be happy like a bumblebee ♪

♪ But it's better to be jolly ♪

♪ To be be be be be be be be be be jolie ♪

♪ When you laugh and play the live long day ♪

♪ Well, that's the life for me ♪

Oh, Marie, were they not wonderful tonight?

And the gowns! Don't they look gorgeous!

Marie.

Look...from my Flo.

Oh, Marie, look.

Oh, Marie! Marie! You read what he says.

Oui, madame.

Read it to me, quick!

ANNA: What does it say?

"My darling, I never knew that one long year

could seem like one short moment.

You are magnificent, my wife.

Flo."

Oh, Marie.

- Marie, did you hear that? - I just read it, madame.

No, no. Did you hear what he says?

"You are magnificent, my wife."

Oh, madame, look! Look!

Ahh!

Marie!

Come on, help me.

Isn't it gorgeous?

Oh, madame, look, look! Here's another one!

Oh, Marie!

Oh, that makes me so much inside here.

Much too much.

Marie.

First he gives me all the flowers in the world...

...and now he takes the stars from the heavens...

...just for me.

"You're magnificent, my wife."

- Am i magnificent, Marie? - Oui, madame.

No, no, no. He's magnificent, not i.

Marie!

Marie, I must show them to the girls!

I come back immediately!

When Mr. Ziegfeld comes, please tell him he shall wait!

Girls, would you like to see something wonderful?

- Oh, what is it? - Look! And this, too!

- Diamonds! - From my husband!

- May i try the bracelet? - Yes, sure.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

Audrey, are you not interested in my presents?

I would be if they were mine.

But, Audrey, you will have many of them someday.

Maybe you have to work a little, to suffer a little.

But what is that, hmm?

I'll work, but i won't suffer.

- Oh, oh. - Here you are, dear.

- Thank you. - Isn't it beautiful, Audrey?

I'll say it Is.

I'd give my soul for one like it.

That would be a very bad bargain, Audrey.

[ Laughter ]

Alright, that's fine! Tie it up!

[ Tapping ]

Buddy, you're better with your feet

than you are with your broom.

Mr. Ziegfeld...you think so?

Gee, I wish you'd give me a chance. I've got talent.

And i'd like to get away from

shifting scenery and moving props.

How long have you been a property boy?

Five years. But my heart hasn't been in it.

You've been working a long time without your heart, buddy.

-[ Laughs ] - That tickle you?

It does, and this weekly return tickles me more.

Look, a profit of $5,000.

Now, if you'll just be conservative,

I mean, live reasonably.

Don't incur any fresh obligations.

Forget that you have any charge accounts, and you'll soon --

Sampston, you're right. I will.

Darling!

Oh, Anna.

Anna.

You're the sweetest husband in the whole world.

You -- Mr. Sampston!

Look. From my husband...

...on our anniversary.

This and this.

Are they not gorgeous diamonds?

Yes, indeed, Miss Held, gorgeous.

Good night, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Good night, Sampston.

He didn't seem very happy about my presents, oui?

Anna, men who keep books are never very happy.

Marie, go out for a while.

He is my maid tonight.

Go, go, go.

- Oh, I am, am i? - Yes, you are.

Later on i count all the diamonds

in the bracelet and the necklace and give you kiss for each one.

And what about the orchids? Don't i get anything for them?

Oui, wait.

For each petal of each orchid, another kiss extra.

So...

...take off my stocking, please.

You know, this might get to be a habit.

Flo, you're wonderful.

- You know that? - I suspect it.

ANNA: Everything you promise me you do.

Everything you say will happen, happens.

And now i am a big success in America, thanks to you.

Flo!

Why do you do that

when i am trying to say nice things to you?

Besides, you're a very bad mate.

But i love you.

- Flo. - What?

Flo, are you as happy as i am?

Happier. Why do you ask?

Because sometimes i think i am too happy.

Sometimes i get afraid it won't be always like this...

...working only for you

while you do the show just for me.

Couldn't i do another show without spoiling our happiness?

Of course you could. Don't be silly.

Do you want to do another show?

Well, darling...

...now that you've made such a tremendous success,

I have a little idea that I'd like to carry out.

- Idea for a show? - Mm-hmm.

- The biggest kind of a show. - With music and girls?

- Beautiful girls, and -- - And without me, oui?

Well, darling, you couldn't do two shows at once, could you?

Hmm?

Now, Anna, see here.

Suppose we go down to a rector's

and celebrate our anniversary, hmm?

No, I don't --

Just you and i and a bottle of wine?

I don't feel like it.

- Come on now, dear. - No, I'm so nervous.

- It'll be good for you. - I'm so tired.

I'm so disappointed in you i could scream!

- Now, Anna -- - I mean it.

I thought you loved me more than anything in the world.

I thought i am your one ideal, your only ambition.

- Anna -- - No.

I think only of you,

and I thought you will only think of me.

But it is not so. You have big plans without me.

You will do a big show. You will go broke again!

Anna, you're jealous.

- No, Flo! - Yes.

Don't say that, no, no, no!

I hate jealous people, and, oh...

- I don't know what's...

I'm angry, and i wish you would go.

Please, please.

Please go, go!

Go!

Marie!

Marie...

[ Crying]

Flo...

Ohh!

Good morning, Mr. Billings.

Good morning, Miss Drake. Any messages for me?

Nothing important, except Mr. Erlanger

wants to see you today.

And Mr. Ziegfeld is waiting in your office.

Well, why in my office instead of out here?

I thought he'd be a little more comfortable in there.

Well, I...oh, yes, I see.

To...to what do i owe the honor of this visit, Mr. Ziegfeld?

Mr. Billings, if you've ever had it in for me

you've certainly avenged yourself.

This is positively the worst cigar

that i've ever smoked in my life.

How are you, Jack?

- Alright, how are you, Ziggy? - Never better.

- Sit down, won't you? - Thank you, nice of you.

Jack, I'm here to do you a great favor.

Yes, I know, but i'm sorry i can't take advantage of it.

I'm broke. That's why i'm hooked up with Erlanger.

Oh, well, that's fine for me. He's just the man i need.

Jack, I want to do a new show, a big show,

and i'm willing to split the entire thing 50/50

with Erlanger, and all he has to do

is to put up the money and furnish the theaters.

Oh, that's all?

That's all.

Of course, you'd furnish the star.

Oh, this isn't for Anna. No, Anna's show is all set.

No, in this one, I want to star the girls.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

Without personalities, you haven't got a chance.

Oh, I'll have personalities, alright, lots of personalities.

But they'll mostly be blondes and brunettes.

What are you going to call this opera?

I'm going to call it the Ziegfeld Follies.

Follies. Follies, alright.

So what's the matter with that? That's a good title.

What's so unusual about a girl show?

We've got plenty on the circuit now.

Oh, I don't mean that kind. They're way out of date.

Why, you're using the same scenery that you used

20 years ago, wood wings and flats.

I want to do a show with silk drapes

with lace, with beautiful girls,

and i'm going to dress them, not for the bald heads

in the front row, but for the women in the last row.

I want to surround them with glamour, glitter,

glorify them.

Say, there's a good word, Jack.

"Glorify."

BILLINGS: It sounds alright if you know what it means.

It'll look alright, too.

"Glorifying the American girl."

Well, where are you going to find all

these beautiful young ladies?

I'll take them from homes, from stores, from shops.

- Oh. - From offices.

I beg your pardon, sir. Mr. Erlanger would

like to see you now.

BILLINGS: Oh, alright.

Yes, well, that'll do, Miss Drake.

Yes, sir.

Now, listen, Ziggy, not her.

She's the best stenographer i ever had.

[ Laughs ] Alright, Jack.

Here, here.

You will buzz the little giant, won't you?

Oh, yes, I'll tell him about it,

but i doubt if he'll be interested.

Well, he's missing a great opportunity.

Yes, I know.

But, well, I'll drop you a line about it.

- Perhaps tomorrow. - Wire me, will you, Jack?

Well, if you'd rather hear the sad news sooner, I'll wire.

ERLANGER: What's that?

They won't give us our share of the profits?

Alright! Open them in Boston, jump them to New Orleans

and then on to Frisco.

Funny thing, Billings.

You just can't be nice to some people.

Yes, that's what I was thinking.

- Ziegfeld was just here. - Yeah? What did he want?

Well, remember when he stole

Anna Held right from under my nose?

And then, so i couldn't get her back, he married her

and made enough money on her to retire?

Now he comes back, broke again,

asking me to ask you for the money to put on a new show!

- Well, that's nerve. -[ Chuckles ]

What do you want me to do?

Give him the money.

[ Instrumental music ]

MAN: Tickets for Eddie Cantor and Will Rogers! $50 a pair!

Tickets, boys? Tickets, gentlemen.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Applause ]

♪ I have got a sweetie known as Susie ♪

♪ In the words of Shakespeare, she's a wow ♪

♪ Though all of you may know her, too ♪

♪ I'd like to shout right now ♪

♪ If you knew Susie ♪

♪ Like i know Susie ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, what a girl ♪

♪ There's none so classy as this fair lassie ♪

♪ Oh, oh, holy Moses, what a chassis ♪

♪ We went riding, she didn't balk ♪

♪ Back from Yonkers, I'm the one who had to walk ♪

♪ If you knew Susie ♪

♪ Like i know Susie ♪

♪ Oh, oh, what a girll ♪

♪ If you knew Susie ♪

♪ Like i know Susie ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, what a girl ♪

♪ She wears long tresses ♪

♪ And nice tight dresses ♪

♪ Oh, oh, what a future she possesses ♪

♪ Out in public, how she can yawn ♪

♪ In a parlor, you would think the war was on ♪

♪ If you knew Susie ♪

♪ Like i know Susie ♪

♪ Oh, oh, what a girl ♪

Come on, girls, come on, come on, get up those steps!

Come on!

MAN: Do you realize this is opening night?

You take that brace and put it down here!

Benny! What is it?

No word from Baines. I've only got two minutes.

Are you ready to go in for those steps?

Listen, I've built so many steps for Ziegfeld

they go in by themselves.

- What follows this number? - Why, the, uh...

Yeah, I know Greg Williams.

But have the finale costumes arrived yet?

Well, Mr. Sampston's talking to the costumer now.

Oh, I see. Trouble again.

You can't do this!

It's an unheard-of procedure!

I'm very sorry, Mr. Sampston, I want my money.

But it's preposterous! Ridiculous!

No money, no finale costumes.

It's a hold up! Oh, hello...

You can't do this to Mr. Ziegfeld.

W-wait here a minute. Allen!

- Yes, sir. - Where's Mr. Ziegfeld?

I haven't seen him for the last 10 minutes.

Run up and see if he's in the front of the house.

- No, no. I'll go. - Yes, sir.

- No, no. You go. - Yes, sir.

- No, you send somebody else. - Yes, sir. Joe!

Tell him i must see him immediately.

- The show depends on it. - Yes, sir.

This is going to be the death of me. This is awful.

Wait here for me. You will wait?

You bet i will.

WILL: Yes?

- Hello, Sam. How are y'all? - Mr. Rogers.

You look kind of worried. What's on your mind, Sam?

I was looking for Mr. Ziegfeld.

Ah, just a minute, Sam.

Mr. Ziegfeld, it's very important. The costumer's --

Will, the audiences love to hear you talk.

Well, shucks, Flo. I can't talk any more than I do.

I got to get the rope tricks in, don't i?

I think they like to hear your wise cracks better.

Well, uh, perhaps they do, but what'll i talk about?

I ain't got anything to say that's funny.

- Mr. Ziegfeld -- - Wait a minute, Sam.

Your wife tells me that you keep her laughing all the time

just about things you read in the papers.

Oh, I catch on. Betty's been putting you up to this, huh?

Well...I got sort of a habit of telling her

that all i know is what i read in the papers,

and she says that's what I ought to tell the audience.

Just sort of be kind of a running gag.

She's right.

Oh, sure, Betty's -- Betty's always right.

But she don't have to stand out on the stage

and catch those over ripe tomatoes

if the gag don't work.

Mr. Ziegfeld, I must interrupt you.

- Yeah? - The finale costumes are here.

Oh, good.

- Will you do it, Will? - I might.

But the costumers won't leave them without the money.

Give them a check. Will you do it tonight?

- Maybe. - They want the cash.

Do you mean to tell me that they sent the costumes

for this show C.O.D. ?

No, sir, not this show.

They want some money on the last show.

Reckon you kinda got your shows mixed up, ain't you, Flo?

Well, I reckon a little.

If i can help you out on the costumes

or anything, why, let me know.

Oh, thanks, Will, but i'm alright.

Well, tell me if i can.

Course, uh, I don't suppose it makes a lot of difference

'cause even with the costumes on, the girls in this show

ain't exactly overdressed.

[ Laughs ]

You save your wise cracks for the audience, Will.

[ Laughs ]

- Hey, bu , buddy! Hey! - Yes? '

What's this? Your opening night, your big chance,

and you're still moving scenery?

I-I can't help it, Mr. Ziegfeld. It gets in the blood.

Besides, I don't know how i'm going to go over on the roof

tonight, and i don't want to lose one job

until i'm sure of the other.

Well, don't forget, when I hired you as an actor,

I fired you as a stage hand, So you better make good.

You'll find yourself without any job.

Well, what seems to be the trouble?

No trouble, I hope, Mr. Ziegfeld, except --

Except he's holding us up!

He refuses to leave the costumes unless he --

Unless he gets some money, and he's quite right, Sampston.

Let me see the costumes first.

At once, Mr. Ziegfeld, at once. Open up the basket.

I tell you, Mr. Ziegfeld, these dresses are wonderful.

The finest work I have ever done.

Look, Mr. Ziegfeld, isn't it stunning?

Perhaps you made a mistake. This isn't for me.

Oh, yes, Mr. Ziegfeld, for the finale.

Well, not my finale.

Mr. Schultz, this is the New Amsterdam Theater.

This is the Follies.

I know, Mr. Ziegfeld, and this is the costume for the finale.

Well, not for my show.

Why, I couldn't let my girls appear in a thing like that.

That's horrible! Oh, take it away.

But, Mr. Ziegfeld, they were

made from the sketches of your own designer.

You yourself made the changes on the sketches

when you gave me the order.

Oh, I never ordered a thing like that in my life.

That's terrible! Take it away, take it out of my theater!

But, Mr. Ziegfeld!

I work over three weeks on these dresses.

I have plenty of money invested in them.

Well, I'm sorry, but I can't help that.

What do you want to do? Disgrace me?

No, no, Mr. Ziegfeld, but please, do not disgrace me.

I mean, Mr. Ziegfeld,

please, let your girls wear my costumes tonight.

No, I wouldn't humiliate you.

If you are not satisfied, I will make it up to you

some other way, but, please,

do not make me take them back, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Alright, but just this once.

Send them up to the dressing rooms.

You see me in my office next week.

- Next month. - Next month.

Thank you very much, Mr. Ziegfeld.

They are beautiful, aren't they?

Awfully expensive.

Alright, girls, places for the melody number!

He's singing very well tonight, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Yes, he's alright, but there's too much white.

- Merv. - Yes, sir?

He's too white. Bring up the pink in your footlights.

- Yes. - Are the steps high enough for

you this time, Mr. Ziegfeld?

No, I don't think so. We could use more, a lot more.

I'd like to see them higher.

How's that, Mr. Ziegfeld?

Yes, that's perfect now, Merv.

Just keep it that way the rest of the number.

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is like a melody ♪

♪ That haunts you night and day ♪

♪ Just like the strain ♪

♪ Of a haunting refrain ♪

♪ She'll start upon a marathon and run around your brain ♪

♪ You can't escape ♪

♪ She's in your memory ♪

♪ By morning, night, and noon ♪

♪ She will leave you and then ♪

♪ Come back again ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is just like a ♪

♪ Pretty tune ♪

♪ Just like a beautiful strain ♪

♪ Just like a haunting refrain ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is just like ♪

♪ A pretty tune ♪

[ Instrumental music ]

♪ A melody that haunts you night and day ♪

♪ Just like the strain ♪

♪ Of a haunting refrain ♪

♪ She'll start upon a marathon and run around your brain ♪

♪ Throughout the world you'll find ♪

♪ A girl just like this lovely ♪

♪ Melody ♪

[ Singing in native language ]

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is like a melody ♪

[ Chorus continues ]

[ Instrumental music ]

♪ She'll bring you sweet romance ♪

♪ And steal your heart away ♪

[ Instrumental music ]

♪ Music has charms ♪

♪ She's in your arms ♪

♪ She leads you on ♪

♪ Then she's gone ♪

[ Singing in native language ]

[ Instrumental music ]

♪ Fantasy ♪

♪ Mystery ♪

♪ Melody ♪

♪ Rhapsody ♪

[ Music continues ]

♪ Just like a heavenly rhapsody ♪

♪ She catches you night from the start ♪

♪ Just like a beautiful melody ♪

♪ She'll play on the strings of your heart ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is like a melody ♪

♪ That haunts you night and day ♪

♪ Just like the strain ♪

♪ Of a haunting refrain ♪

♪ She'll start upon a marathon and run around your brain ♪

♪ You can't escape ♪

♪ She's in your memory ♪

♪ By morning night and noon ♪

♪ She will leave you and then ♪

♪ Come back again ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is just like a pretty ♪

♪ Tune ♪

♪ By morning night and noon ♪

♪ She will leave you and then ♪

♪ Come back again ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is just like ♪

♪ A pretty tune ♪

[ Indistinct singing ]

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Instrumental music ]

Ain't that something? Don't you like your flowers, honey lamb?

They're beautiful, Flossie. Was there a card?

Oh, sure. Here it is. And there was a package, too.

I done unwrapped it for you.

You've done looked at it, too, I suppose.

Oh, no, honey lamb, I never.

- Pour me a drink, Flossie. - Another?

Honey lamb, ain't y'all forgetting

you got a midnight show to do on the roof tonight?

And ain't y'all forgetting to pour that drink?

[ Laughs ]

Well, scratch my back, honey.

Is them diamonds, or is them stars?

Who sent them to you, honey lamb?

Who do you think?

I know. They's from Mr. Zieg...

[ Knocking ]

- Here he is now. - Tell him to come in.

Yes.

Audrey.

You were beautiful tonight.

Thank you.

Flossie, pour us a drink.

No, no, no, please, dear, no. I just came to tell you...

Ooh.

Somebody else thought you were beautiful, too, our?

From an old friend.

Not too old, I hope.

What a beautiful bracelet, Audrey.

Is this from your old friend, too?

Do you like it?

Yes, it's charming.

You know, your friend must have very good taste

because this is just the sort of jewelry Flo would like.

I told you someday you will have lots of diamonds, didn't i?

Yes, you did. And I told you I wouldn't suffer, remember?

Yes, I do.

Well...congratulations again, Audrey.

I'll see you later. On the roof, our?

[ Instrumental music ]

♪ You got to pull strings ♪

♪ You got to pull strings ♪

♪ If you want to go places ♪

♪ You want to see things ♪

♪ You got to pull strings ♪

♪ Your troubles and cares ♪

♪ Will vanish on wings ♪

♪ If you want to be happy living like kings ♪

♪ You got to pull strings ♪

♪ Don't just sit there wishin' ♪

♪ If you've got ambition ♪

♪ Be a politician ♪

♪ Get into the swing it's easy to get ♪

♪ Such wonderful things ♪

♪ But 'm teling you now that you got to know how ♪

♪ You got to pull strings ♪

♪ Ladies ♪

♪ Gentlemen ♪

♪ One two three four ♪

♪ You got to pull strings ♪

♪ Your troubles and cares ♪

♪ Will vanish on wings ♪

♪ If you want to be happy living like kings ♪

♪ You got to pull strings ♪

♪ Don't just sit there wishin' ♪

♪ If you've got ambition ♪

♪ Be a politician ♪

♪ Get into the swing, it's easy to get ♪

♪ Such wonderful things ♪

♪ But 'm teling you now that you got to know how ♪

♪ You got to pull strings ♪

♪ If she's riding in the limousine ♪

♪ With some millionaire or a college dean ♪

♪ If she's the grandest thing you've ever seen ♪

♪ Then she's not my girl ♪

♪ If her smile is like the southern skies ♪

♪ With California sunshine in her eyes ♪

♪ If she's the type that you could idolize ♪

♪ Then she's not the girl for me ♪

♪ If she's dressed in new chapeaux ♪

♪ Paris clothes fancy hose ♪

♪ Diamond rings and gorgeous furs ♪

♪ So glorified that the world is hers ♪

♪ And if she has that certain Ziegfeld walk ♪

♪ And if she thrills you with her charming talk &

♪ If she's the toast of little ol' New York ♪

♪ Then she's not their girl ♪

♪ She's not his girl ♪

♪ She's not your girl ♪

♪ She's not my girl ♪

♪ She's a Ziegfeld Follies girl ♪

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Mellow music ]

[ Upbeat music ]

[ Applause ]

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Applause ]

♪ You're the inspiration ♪

♪ Of my fondest dreams ♪

♪ Here's the situation ♪

♪ This is how it seems ♪

♪ You can make me happy ♪

♪ You can make me blue ♪

♪ All i am or hope to be ♪

♪ Is really up to you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Gee, but you're wonderful ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Lovely you ♪

♪ You completely satisfy ♪

♪ I feel certain that is why ♪

♪ There's nobody like you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ So much depends upon you ♪

♪ Tell me true ♪

♪ Will it be my fate at all? ♪

♪ Will i ever rate at all ♪

♪ With somebody like you? ♪

♪ Just to think that you love me ♪

♪ Makes my future look strong ♪

♪ I swear by stars above me ♪

♪ I'm darned if i don't feel like writing a song ♪

♪ Asong about you ♪

♪ Music and words about you ♪

♪ Lovely you ♪

♪ Let me think up praises for ♪

♪ Lel me sing of praises for ♪

♪ Nobody but you ♪

♪ Just to think that you love me ♪

♪ Just to think that you love me ♪

♪ Makes my future look bright ♪

♪ I swear by stars above me ♪

♪ I swear by stars above me ♪

♪ I'm darned if i don't feel like writing a song ♪

♪ Asong about you ♪

♪ Music and words about you ♪

♪ Lovely you ♪

♪ Let me think up praises for ♪

♪ Nobody but ♪

♪ Nobody but you ♪

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Applause ]

[ Instrumental music ]

♪ You never looked so beautiful before ♪

♪ Each time i look at you, I love you more ♪

♪ The things you say all sound so sweet and tender ♪

♪ What can i do but tell you i surrender ♪

♪ You never looked so perfectly divine ♪

♪ It's almost like a dream to think you're mine ♪

♪ You're everything lovely ♪

♪ Everything that i adore ♪

♪ You never looked so beautiful before ♪

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

♪ You never looked so perfectly divine ♪

♪ It's almost like a dream to think you're mine ♪

♪ You are everything lovely ♪

♪ Everything that i adore ♪

♪ You never looked so beautiful before ♪

♪ You never looked so beautiful before ♪

[ Applause ]

She's really quite beautiful, Flo, our?

Yes, she is, isn't she?

You're very much interested in her, oui?

I'm interested in all my girls, dear.

But maybe a tiny, little bit more in her, oui?

A lot more. She's very unusual.

I could make a great star out of her, if she'd only let me.

[ Applause ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

on behalf of the rest of the company

I've been asked to make a little speech.

[ Giggles ]

Well, you see, I have a confession to make.

Little Audrey is a wee bit tight tonight.

[ Audience laughing ]

No, but seriously.

You really shouldn't applaud all of us

because everything we've done we owe to Flo.

You see, I was just a little chorus girl

when Flo discovered me.

He taught me how to walk and how to dress and how to smile.

So...

Well...

Here's to...Flo.

[ Audience applauding ]

I am afraid you must forgive Miss Lane tonight.

She just passed through many weeks

of very tedious rehearsals.

And the nervous strain of an opening night,

she's not really herself.

[ Applause ]

On behalf of the rest of my company, I want to thank you.

You've been very kind to my girls and my stars.

Speaking of stars, there's a young lady here tonight who,

in my opinion, is destined to reach the top of her profession.

She doesn't work for me, I'm sorry to say,

but i'm very proud of her.

She's here tonight with her producer, lucky fellow,

and if she will, I'm going to ask Sally Manners to take a bow.

Sally Manners.

[ Applause ]

Darned nice of him to pay my star a tribute

like that, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

I hope you've got her on a long contract.

[ Laughs ]

- Are you ready, Mr. Ziegfeld? - I'm ready.

Now, you be signing the contract

but look in the camera at the same time.

The picture wouldn't be right without the Manners smile.

- Alright? - Alright.

Alright, shoot!

Those things horrify me.

Well, Sally, I think we're both to be congratulated.

I feel it's a great opportunity.

Thank you.

Sage, if you'll take Miss Manners

and the boys into your office, I'm sure she'll have some

very interesting things to say to them.

I can tell them how happy i am right now.

- May i congratulate you? - Thank you.

Right this way, Miss Manners. Right this way.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

Eh, where is that girl you said was a friend of mine?

MARY: Here i am.

I-I didn't want to disturb you.

You told them out there that you were a friend of mine, huh?

Yes, I did.

Well, I see.

Just to get into my office, huh? Smart girl.

Well, I am a friend of yours. Have you forgotten me?

Oh! [ Laughs ] No, no. Of course not.

I, uh, I remember you very well.

Who am i?

[ Laughs ] As if i didn't know.

- Do you? - Of course.

I always remember the time, the place, and the girl.

It was, uh...Atlantic City.

- Nope. - No?

No.

Well, now that's funny. I seem to remember a chair

on the Boardwalk, you beside me, and, uh...

Are you sure it wasn't Atlantic City?

It might have been Atlantic City,

but it wasn't me.

[ Laughs ] Oh.

Oh! Now i remember.

Why, it was right here in this office.

You came up to see me about a year ago.

Oh, now it all comes back to me.

Well, how are you? Where have you been?

- No. - No?

No. You don't seem to remember

the time, the place, or the girl.

[ Laughs ] Well...

Perhaps this will help you.

[ Piano music ]

Mary Lou!

Well, how's my girl?

How's my fella?

Well, my little Mary Lou is a big girl now, isn't she?

Yes!

Yes, indeed, a very big girl.

Aren't you glad to see me?

Yes, I certainly am.

Even if i wasn't in Atlantic City with you?

Oh...don't be silly.

I-I-I knew you all the time.

Now, fibber.

[ Laughs ]

Well, how long you been in New York?

- One day. - One day.

Have you seen my father lately?

Yes, just before i left.

Oh, that reminds me, he told me to give you a big Kiss.

[ Laughs ] Well...

You know, I, uh, I think that in all fairness,

I should tell you that i am a married man now.

Yes, I know. I read about it. It nearly broke my heart.

But being married in New York doesn't mean anything, does it?

[ Laughs ]

Oh, yes, it does, young lady.

Now, why are you here, and what can i do for you?

Well, first of all, I want to give you a big kiss

for all the candy you sent me.

Well, now you -- you've already done that twice.

[ Laughs ] Now, what else?

Well, I want to go into the Follies.

- You do? - Mm-hmm.

I've been taking dancing lessons for two years.

Yeah? How do your father and mother feel about it?

Well, I haven't a father and mother anymore.

Aw, I'm so sorry, my dear.

Of course, Jimmy won't like it.

Who's Jimmy?

He's just another fellow I've been engaged to.

Oh! Well...

Alright, I think we can look after you.

Do you think we can have dinner together tonight?

Well, no, no. I'm afraid we can't.

[ Knock at door ]

- Oh, Alice. - Yes, sir.

I want you to take this young lady down to the stage

and tell Julian that he's to put her on as an extra dancer.

Oh, gee, thank you!

Uh, Mary Lou is an old friend of mine from Chicago,

and she's a stranger here,

so i'd like you to sort of look after her.

Yes, sir. This way, dear.

Oh, may i say one thing before i go?

Well, yes, of course. What?

I forgive you for not marrying me.

[ Laughs ] Alright. Goodbye, dear.

Goodbye.

Hello, pardon me.

Hello, Alice. Say, Flo!

I know, you got a new song.

I'll say we have. Play him the melody, Danny.

Oh, you'll go crazy over this, Flo.

[ Piano music ]

Mr. Ziegfeld?

I must interrupt you.

This is important. I've got an idea.

How much will it save?

This has nothing to do with money.

You feeling alright, Sam?

Well, I have my usual headache,

but this is about talent.

Something good and cheap, no doubt?

Exactly. It's a young lady of the name of Brice.

Fannie. Fannie Brice.

She's working in Burlesque.

Say, I've seen that gal, Flo.

- Pretty? - Well, yes and no.

Shut your eyes and listen, yes. Open them and look, no.

But a great performer.

We should see her at once, tonight.

[ Applause ]

♪ Everyone was singing, dancing, springing ♪

♪ At a wedding yesterday ♪

♪ Yiddle on his fiddle played some ragtime ♪

♪ And when Sadie heard him play ♪

♪ She jumped up, looked him in the eyes ♪

♪ Yiddle swelled his chest way out ♪

♪ Everyone was taken by surprise ♪

♪ When they heard Sadie shout ♪

Can i take your coat?

Why not? You bought it for me.

I gave it to you because you've been

behaving yourself this week.

What are you going to give me next week?

Shh! Watch the show.

I don't see how you can expect to find

any great stars in a place like this.

Some of our greatest stars have come from places like this.

Well, of course, not being a star yet, I wouldn't know.

You can be a star, if you behave yourself.

♪ Yiddle on your fiddle, play some ragtime ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Instrumental music ]

♪ Ladies, beautiful ladies ♪

♪ In every smart revue ♪

♪ We have our share of gorgeous girls ♪

♪ And i'll introduce them to you ♪

♪ My name is Dolly, hello, hello ♪

♪ My name is Molly, just in case you want to know ♪

♪ My name is Rosie, I'm fancy ♪

♪ My name is Josie, yes, sir, that's me ♪

♪ Just call me Violet ♪

♪ Just call me Kay ♪

♪ I'm known as Trixie ♪

♪ I'm known as May ♪

♪ We're here to greet you ♪

♪ Want you to know ♪

♪ We'd like to meet you ♪

♪ At the finish of the show ♪

♪ We're here to meet you ♪

♪ Want you to know ♪

♪ We'd like to meet you ♪

♪ At the finish of the show ♪

♪ Uh, my name is Beatrice ♪

♪ If you have to know ♪

♪ I'll be your baby ♪

♪ At the finish of the show ♪

♪ See how i'm dressed up in native style ♪

♪ I'm the queen from the jungle and the Caribou Isles ♪

♪ See how she's dressed up in native style ♪

♪ She's the queen of the jungle and the Caribou Isles ♪

What's on now, Fannie?

Jim Boss.

If that guy's funny, I'll be a --

Listen, baby, that guy's gonna be a big star someday.

He can make you laugh, and he can make you cry.

Yeah, and he can make me sick. Comics bore me.

Yeah, and you give me a pain in the neck, too,

always telling me who's gonna be a great star.

Once in Burlesque, you're always in Burlesque.

Unless you got looks or a voice or something.

Well, that's what i got, kid.

- What? - Something.

Fannie, on the level, you don't ever hope to get out of

Burlesque, do you?

You're good here because these people

are from Tenth Avenue.

How good do you think you'd be on Fifth Avenue?

[ Laughs ] Half as good.

Another silk stocking gone.

Believe me, I'll never buy anything

from those stage-door peddlers again.

Well, that's what you said before.

What'd you let the fella in for? Here.

He told the stage doorman his name was Valasco.

And you thought it was the Mr. Valasco, the producer.

- Uh-huh. - Calling personally to see you?

Well, maybe i was a little optimistic.

Miss Brice, Mr. Ziegfeld is here to see you.

Another peddler.

First it's Valasco, now it's Ziegfeld.

Tell Mr. Ziegfeld I'm not in,

and if i was in, tell him I wouldn't see him.

And if i did see him, tell him i wouldn't buy a thing.

- Yes, miss. - Thank you.

Miss Brice?

I hope i'm not intruding.

I'm Florenz Ziegfeld.

Is that so?

Sarah, this is Mr. Ziegfeld.

Mr. Ziegfeld, this is Sarah Bernhardt.

- Not the Sarah Bernhardt? - Mm-hmm.

Well, certainly is a pleasure to run into you.

Say, if you run into your friend Valasco

tell him about the runs in his stockings.

Oh, do you know David Valasco?

Better than you know Ziegfeld.

Well, come on. What do you want for it?

I'm not interested.

Miss Brice, I am really here

to offer you a great opportunity.

That's what they all say.

Uh, what kind of fur is this?

This? That's mink.

Is that so? And what's the price?

Well, the original cost was $2,700.

Who cares from originals?

Copies is just as good.

Come on, I'll try it on.

Yes, of course.

As a matter of fact, it ought to fit you very well.

Don't give me the sales talk. Just tell me the price.

I don't want to buy it,

but i'll give you $50 for it and not a cent more.

Miss Brice, the coat is yours.

Stuck again.

Fannie! Are you really gonna buy it?

If i can give Valasco $4 for silk stockings made of cotton,

I can give Ziegfeld a little more

for a mink coat made of skunk.

Besides, a bargain's a bargain.

Here. Here's your $40.

Get out before i change my mind.

Thank you.

[ Laughs ]

Fannie!

Fannie!

- What? - Fannie, look!

What? Moths already?

No! Feel! It's real mink.

How do you know? Did you ever have one?

No, but i've been promised one often enough to tell.

It's real mink, alright.

It's probably stolen goods.

You mean it's hot?

SARAH: Of course it's warm.

And i'll be arrested if i keep it?

SARAH: Of course you will.

Call the stage manager!

Call the police! Call my mother!

[ Knock on door ]

Ahh...

Come in.

Message for Miss Brice.

You read it. I'm dying.

"Dear Fannie Brice, I can't accept your $40

but you can please me by accepting the coat.

I shall expect you at my office in the New Amsterdam tomorrow,

as i want to engage you for the Follies.

Florenz Ziegfeld, Jr."

Fannie, it was him! It was Ziegfeld!

How do you like that?

I like it.

Fannie! Fannie! Have you fainted?

Can't you see i have, you chump?

Get me some whiskey!

Miss Brice? Oh, Miss Brice?

- Yes, sir? - Alright, we're ready for you.

I'm coming right down. Yes, sir, I'll be right down.

I'm coming as fast as i can.

I thought i had more time.

Uh...

Don't lose your nerve, kid.

This is your big chance.

Be a trouper!

Look at you. You're working for Ziegfeld now.

And you look like a million dollars.

For the first time in your life,

you're class, you mug.

[ Instrumental music ]

Wait a minute! Whoa!

What in the Fannie! What in the world are you made up for?

Veronica? Clarence?

Veronica isn't here. Anything i can do, Mr. Ziegfeld?

Yes. Come here, will you?

Yes, Mr. Ziegfeld?

Will you rip off that train?

But, Mr. Ziegfeld --

Go ahead. Take off the hat.

Get rid of this. Boa constrictor.

Now, will you get me a shawl, an old shawl?

Yes, sir.

How do you expect Miss Brice to sing a sad song about her man

dressed up like a nightingale?

I find personalities, and you try to destroy them.

I didn't engage Miss Brice as a showgirl.

Is that alright, Mr. Ziegfeld?

Well, that's alright for now.

Tomorrow, get her another outfit.

And don't make it. Buy it.

Go to a second-hand store and get her an old dress.

She's supposed to be an Apache,

a poor French girl, an urchin.

Yes, sir.

So to work for Ziegfeld, I got to be an urchin.

Even in Burlesque, I was middle class.

Now, let me see this, Fannie.

Fannie, sing the song.

Now.

Vic? Alright. Let's go.

[ Instrumental music ]

♪ It cost me a lot ♪

♪ But there's one thing that i've got ♪

♪ It's my man ♪

♪ Cold and wet ♪

♪ Tired you bet ♪

♪ But all that I soon forget ♪

♪ With my man ♪

Sam, if she can turn those tears on in front of an audience,

she'll be a sensation.

Look.

Look at the girls.

FANNIE: ♪ Is my man ♪

Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld, shall we get back to that conference?

The boys are still waiting, you know.

Yeah, yeah. Tell them I'll be right up.

FANNIE: ♪ But i loved him ♪

♪ I don't know why i should ♪

♪ He isn't good ♪

She's alright. She's gonna be great.

- Eh, who's that? - Brice. Fannie Brice.

Say, I've got a great spot for her right in this show.

And i discovered her!

That's right, Sam, you did.

And you deserve a raise in salary.

And i'd give it to him, but i'm afraid

he wouldn't approve of my spending the money.

[ Laughter ]

How's it look, Gene?

Well, I think it's the best we've ever done, Flo.

It ought to be. You're the best author.

Herbert's the best composer.

Julian's the best director.

Joe's the best scenic artist.

And Sam's the best bookkeeper.

I'm dying to hear it. Every line he writes is a laugh.

[ Laughs ]

We open on a street in Cairo.

[ Laughs ]

Didn't i tell you every line was a laugh?

[ Laughter ]

[ Clears throat ]

We open on a street in Cairo.

Along comes a man leading an elephant.

Wait just a minute, Gene.

Can you boys stand a shock?

Well, what do you mean, Flo?

Well, I hate to tell you this

because i know how hard you've worked,

but i've decided not to do another Follies.

ALL: What?!

Oh, I'm going on with this new edition with Brice,

but after that, I want to do a story.

Something with a plot.

Something with all the glamour of the Follies

around a sweet, simple story.

Something that will fit this little girl Sally Manners.

We might call it "Sally."

Oh, Jerry.

JERRY: Hello, Flo. How are you?

Say, I'm glad you dropped in, Jerry.

I was just thinking about you.

Well, it's nice to be thought of. Hello, boys.

- ALL: Hello. - You remember that melody

that you played up at my house a couple of weeks ago?

Well, let's see. I played several.

Yes, I know, and they were all beautiful.

But this one was uh...

You remember? You were going to send it to me.

Oh, I know. "Look For The Silver Lining.”

That's the one. "Look For The Silver Lining."

Come on, play it, will you? Do you mind?

Sure i will. I've got the lyrics right here.

Fine. Get this.

"Look For The Silver Lining."

[ Piano music ]

You see what i mean, boys? That's what i want.

A story just as simple and sweet as that tune.

Sing it, Jerry, will you?

♪ And so the right thing to do ♪

♪ Is make it shine for you ♪

♪ A heart full of joy and gladness ♪

♪ Will always vanish sadness and strife ♪

♪ So always look for ♪

♪ The silver lining ♪

♪ And try to find ♪

♪ The sunny side of life ♪

♪ Look for the silver lining ♪

Ziegfeld, these gentlemen have been pestering me

about money for your scenery, your costumes, and whatnot.

And i want to tell you in their presence

that i have no interest in this show,

and in no way am i concerned with it.

Our agreement is for Ziegfeld Follies

and nothing else.

Do you understand that, gentlemen? Nothing else.

Mr. Ziegfeld, this is all very unpleasant

at a dress rehearsal, but we must insist on

at least 50% of our money before the opening.

We are selling a lot of tickets.

It's no use, Sampston.

That's our best proposition.

Mr. Ziegfeld, we're all ready for the finale.

Alright, Benny, let it go.

Boys, what are you worried about?

Have i ever started anything that i couldn't finish?

Don't my curtains always go up?

Why, if i owed you 100 times the amount i do, you'd get it.

Come up to my office in the morning. I'll pay you.

50%, Mr. Ziegfeld.

100% if you want it.

Maybe i can even advance you a little something

on the Eddie Cantor show.

I'm going to do a story

with him, too, you know.

Eddie Cantor?

Mmm.

How are you gonna do it?

- I don't know. - Finale.

[ Instrumental music ]

Mr. Ziegfeld, Audrey Dane is visiting backstage,

and she brought a lot of champagne with her.

- Well... - Yes, sir?

Never mind.

Ah, it looks very good, the show, huh?

Yes, it's wonderful, really.

I'll be back in a moment, darling.

Alright.

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is like a melody ♪

♪ That warms you night and day ♪

Whoo!

♪ Just likea... ♪

Hello.

I want to see every one of you in my office in the morning.

Get out.

Audrey, you know that i have

forbidden drinking in the dressing rooms.

Oh, Flo, don't be mad at me.

I just asked a few of the girls up to have a little drink.

It isn't their fault. You see, it's my fa--

Now, Audrey, please.

Please, stand up now.

I can't. I want to get down, but i can't get down.

Lift me, Flo.

Audrey...

Whee! Oh, don't put me down. Don't put me down.

Audrey, you've broken your last promise to me.

[ Mumbling ]

ANNA: Flo!

You should have at least closed the door.

Wait!

Anna!

Anna, please don't misjudge me.

I couldn't help it.

She's...she's drunk.

Do you always do that when she's drunk?

The members of your company must enjoy that very much.

Oh, Anna, don't say that.

Don't you understand, dear?

- When one of my girls -- - Poor Flo.

You have so much trouble with your girls, oui?

[ Laughing ]

Anna!

Aren't you going to eat your grapefruit, sir?

No, nothing, Sidney.

Well, we know now why she didn't come home last night.

I'm sorry, sir.

Did you send the flowers?

The minute i learned the address, sir.

A dozen orchids as usual, sir.

Good.

Oh, Mr. Sampston called again, sir.

He says the bank positively refuses to increase your loans.

Thank you, Sidney.

Yes, sir.

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Playing piano ]

[ Bell rings ]

ZIEGFELD: Vive la France.

- Miss Dane, sir. - Here?

Undoubtedly she's read the paper, sir.

Show her in, Sidney.

Well, Flo...

Congratulations.

On what?

I just saw the headline.

I don't think i'm to be congratulated, Audrey.

Uh-oh. Little Audrey is speaking out of turn again.

And i was a bad girl last night, too, wasn't i?

I don't think you should have come here today.

So that's how you feel.

- Going to Atlantic City tonight? - No.

Isn't the show going to open there tomorrow night?

No.

Broke again?

Yes, broke again.

Please don't turn the elephant, Audrey.

Afraid i'll spoil your luck?

So, nobody thinks enough of your new star to loan you money.

I don't blame them.

Why didn't you star me in the show?

You with all your promises.

"Audrey, if you'll just behave yourself,

I'll put your name in the biggest lights on Broadway.

Audrey, if you'll only stop drinking,

I'll have great shows written for you."

Why didn't you make me your great star?

Because i couldn't depend on you as i could on --

Yes! Well, alright. Depend on her now.

Go on, star her. Do anything you like with her.

I hate you!

I'm never gonna see you again.

I'm quitting you and your show today.

And i hope you don't get the money to open it.

And if you do, I hope it's a flop!

That's how i feel about you!

And this is how i feel about your elephant!

[ Vase shatters ]

[ Door slams ]

- Sidney? - SIDNEY: Yes, sir?

Take a wire to Mr. Billings.

[ Laughing ]

Will that be all, Mr. Billings?

Yes, that will be all, thank you.

Oh, Miss Jones, take care of that matter right away.

Yes, sir.

I just got another telegram from Ziegfeld.

He can't open his show unless we help him.

Well, we won't help him. I told him so yesterday.

I'm not interested in his show, and i won't loan him five cents.

- Send him a wire -- - I just did.

Did what?

Wired him the money.

[ Instrumental music ]

WOMAN: Oh, isn't that Mr. Ziegfeld?

Say, Flo, why don't you run up and put on the costume

and get into the spirit of the dance.

Oh, I'm tired.

Oh, come on, Flo.

Don't lose interest in everything.

No, I'm going home. Good night.

Let me have that megaphone, will you, honey?

- Yes, sir. - Willie.

- Oh, Flo, you're not leaving? - Yes, I am.

Not when we're just going to start a Paul Jones inside,

and i promise every time you get a pretty girl,

I'll blow the whistle.

Not tonight, Willie.

Say, who is that girl with the gorgeous red hair?

Why, that's Billie Burke.

Uh, thanks, Willie.

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Laughing ]

- Good evening, Jack. - Uh, how do you do? Come on.

- Willie. - WILLIE: Yes, Flo?

I'm staying for the Paul Jones.

Every time you see me with Miss Burke,

will you blow the whistle?

Okay.

[ Whistle blows ]

Take you places for the Paul Jones, everybody.

The Paul Jones!

Well, do you think we ought to? I --

Oh, yes. I love the Paul Jones.

[ Whistle blows ]

Perhaps we could both go the same way.

- No, we can't do that! - Oh, well i...

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Whistle blows ]

Miss Burke.

Uh, Mr...

Oh, It doesn't matter.

Oh, no, I'm supposed to... I've got to...

- We're not, uh -- - Oh, no, this is our dance!

Oh, is it? Oh...

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Whistle blows ]

- Miss Burke. - We meet again, Mr...

ON, it still doesn't matter.

Won't you tell me?

Tell you what?

Your name.

Why don't you ask Mr. Billings?

I will if i can find him.

But you seem to stand in with the whistle.

Oh, yes, you see, when i was a little boy,

I used to love to whistle,

and a whistle never forgets.

[ Music continues ]

[ Whistle blows ]

Aren't you getting bored?

No. Are you?

I'm afraid not.

- Tired? - Are you?

No, but i'd much rather just talk.

- Would you mind? - No.

[ Whistle blows ]

[ Instrumental music ]

Don't you love the lights of New York?

To me, they're more beautiful than any landscape.

More beautiful than the mountains in the West?

Yes, I think so. Are you too cold out here?

Oh, no, indeed. I'm enjoying it.

Oh...that is, uh...

I mean, the electric signs fascinate me.

"Wrigley's chewing gum

"Fleischmann's yeast

Ziegfeld's Follies."

Do you know Ziegfeld?

No. I don't want to.

I understand he's a horrible person.

Horrible?

Yes, they say he's a terrible ladies' man.

Well, I suppose that's forgivable.

Because he's surrounded by so many beautiful women.

Yes, yes. Strange you've never met him.

I don't want to. I love his shows.

They're so beautiful and in such good taste.

It would disappoint me terribly

to meet him and find him to be a fat

pudgy man with a big stomach.

Oh, he's not fat. And not really so pudgy.

No? You know him?

Oh, yes. Yes. He -- he would like you.

How do you know?

Didn't you just say he had good taste?

Oh.

Well, you're sort of a ladies' man yourself, aren't you?

I think with you as the lady, I could make Ziegfeld look

like an amateur.

Oh, you haven't told me your name yet.

Well, I've been looking -- If you don't mind, Mr. Ziegfeld,

Miss Burke, with the special permission

of her producer, Mr. Frohman,

came to this affair with me tonight.

And if you've no objection, I'd like to have

one dance with the lady.

Mr. Ziegfeld?

Well, you were right. He isn't pudgy.

- Shall we go in? - Yes!

Ah, don't i get one more dance?

I'm afraid not.

I imagine it's Mr. Frohman

you're really afraid of, isn't it?

- Oh, I'm... - Perhaps.

He doesn't want you to appear too much socially, huh?

Frankly, no, he doesn't.

And you don't like me very well anyway, do you?

Frankly, no, i don't.

[ Laughing ] No. She doesn't!

[ Laughing ]

You put him in his place, alright.

[ Instrumental music ]

I wonder what General Grant would think if he knew

we were using the very shadow of his tomb

as our meeting place.

Well, I never knew the general personally,

but i have an idea he'd approve.

I don't know. Nobody else seems to.

At least, Mr. Frohman doesn't.

And why not?

Why can't we meet where we like? Go where we want?

Just because he has you under contract,

there's no reason why he should dictate

your personal life, do you think?

I'm here.

Yes, and so am i.

But it must seem like kindergarten to you.

Why?

The Great Mr. Ziegfeld, producer of the Follies,

surrounded by hundreds of beautiful women,

sitting on a bench, holding hands,

watching the riverboats go back and forth.

Doesn't sound a bit like you, does it?

No, it doesn't.

But here i am, sitting on a bench,

holding hands, and watching the riverboats

go back and forth.

And regretting all the years i haven't known you.

Didn't Anna Held take up a few of those years?

Yes, Billie, she did.

She was truly a wonderful woman.

I love you for saying that.

Look, there's another ferry boat going across to the Palisades.

Hmm.

Will you keep your eyes on it while i tell you something?

Must i look at a ferry boat to listen to you?

Yes, or i won't be able to tell you.

You mean the great ladies' man is bashful?

Strange as it may seem, in your presence, he is.

Alright, I'm looking.

I love you, Billie.

The ferry boat.

I haven't anything to offer you.

Because there's nothing that you really seem to need.

You've made the most of yourself unassisted.

And that's grand.

Uh, ferry boat.

You're a great star already,

so there's little i can offer you.

Nothing i can give you...

except my love.

That isn't enough.

I'd expect part of your ambition,

half of your trouble,

two-third's of your worries,

and all of your respect.

[ Instrumental music ]

Here's your medicine, madame.

No, thank you, Marie.

I'm tired of it.

But, madame...

No, no, no, no.

Perhaps you would like to go to Paris for a while now?

No, I'm too tired to go anywhere...

and to do anything.

Marie...

...look at the paper

and tell me where did they go on their honeymoon?

But they couldn't go anywhere, madame.

Miss Burke is appearing in a play here.

We saw her only two weeks ago.

You insisted, madame. You remember.

Oui, I know.

And we enjoyed it very much, too.

She's a lovely actress, Marie, oui?

MARIE: Oui, madame.

She has such twinkling eyes

and such a funny little twitter when she speaks.

Yes, I can well imagine Flo being in love with her.

- Marie? - MARIE: Oui, madame?

Call his office. I will congratulate him.

Oui, madame.

Hello?

Brian 3093, please.

I should wish him luck, oui?

- MARIE: Our, madame. - Oui, I should.

MARIE: Mr. Ziegfeld, please.

Miss Anna Held speaking.

No, Marie. Hang up!

I cannot speak with him today. I --

MARIE: Mr. Ziegfeld?

He's on the telephone, madame.

He is?

[ Instrumental music ]

Hello, Flo.

Yes, here's Anna.

I'm so happy for you today.

I could not help but call on you and congratulate you.

Wonderful, Flo. Never better in my whole life.

I'm so excited about my new plans.

I'm going to Paris.

Yes, for a few weeks, and then i can get back,

and then i'm doing a new show, and i...

Oh, oui, it's all so wonderful,

and i'm so happy.

Yes, and i hope you are happy, too.

Yes?

Oh, I'm so glad for you, Flo.

It sounds funny for ex-husband and ex-wife

to tell each other how happy they are, oui?

Yes, Flo.

Goodbye, Flo.

Goodbye...

...darling.

[ Sobbing ] Darling...

[ Sobbing ]

Mon pauvre petit.

If you love him so much, why did you divorce him?

Because i thought...

it would bring him back to me.

I was sure that it would bring him back to me.

Oh, yippee!

Oh, goody, goody, goody!

Is that all for me?

That certainly is, every bit for you.

Oh, and that isn't all.

- Sidney? - Yes, sir?

Now, if you don't like the view from this side, then --

[ Laughing ] I don't.

That's the chimney Santa came down.

- Mm-hmm. - Yes!

And that's the roof where the reindeer stopped.

Gosh! I wonder how they kept from sliding off.

Probably the bricks stopped them.

[ Laughs ]

See, mommy, it's almost big enough for me to get in.

- It is! - Oh, it's almost big enough

for us all to get in.

- Oh, yes! Sidney, uh -- - Yes, sir?

Hasn't Santa Claus brought the elephant yet?

Not yet, sir, but he -- She, uh --

It may be here at any moment, sir.

Flo, you didn't buy an elephant?

- Well, I most certainly did. - A live elephant, daddy?

A great, big live elephant.

I beg your pardon, sir, madam.

In behalf of the help, and as their spokesman,

I wish to express our thanks for your

thoughtfulness and generosity

and to wish you both a very merry Christmas.

- Thank you, Sidney. - Oh, that's very nice

of you, Sidney.

And may we wish a very merry Christmas to all of you.

ALL: Thank you, sir. Thank you, madam.

A Merry Christmas.

And to you, Miss Patricia.

Same to you, Sidney.

Now, how about opening your presents?

Oh, Flo, with all this extravagance,

I'm a little afraid to --

Oh, nonsense, darling. That's what Christmas is for.

Come on, now.

Oh, Flo.

This isn't all for me?

Well, who else?

[ Chuckles ]

Well, I don't know which one to open first.

Oh, well, suppose you try this one, hmm.

Oh, Flo!

A crown of diamonds!

How beautiful!

This proves that America is not a republic

because you are a queen.

And queens always wear Crowns.

[ Laughing ]

A bracelet for the regal wrist.

A pendant for the royal throat.

And...

Flo!

A cloak for her majesty's shoulders.

- Darling! - And --

- Oh, no, Flo! Nothing else! - Yes!

A kiss from her most humble subject.

Darling!

Oh, everything's so lovely.

But you shouldn't have done so much.

Oh, well I --

I-1 hadn't anything to do with it.

It was Santa Claus. He brought everything.

Yes, I know.

But Santa Claus was far too extravagant.

Oh.

I think you should take some of it back.

Oh, mama, I don't want Santa Claus

to take back any of my presents.

Don't worry, darling. He won't.

No, and he won't take back any of your mama's either.

I'd cry if he took my circus back.

- You would? - Why, darling?

Do you like it better than your other presents?

Mm-hmm. But i wish it was a real, live circus.

Well, I guess you'll have to do a circus, Flo.

Could you, daddy?

Well, I don't know. Let's see.

I've never had any experience with circuses.

But i can try.

I'll tell you what, let's make a chorus

in front of these two wagons, hmm?

Who's this fellow? Oh, hell!

That's the ringmaster. He's right in the center.

That's where ringmasters should be.

Now, we'll put these two acrobats up next to him,

and then we'll put this little Tyrolean fellow there.

And then we'll put the clown next to him.

That clown, he's a funny fellow.

And there's the lion tamer.

Gosh, I bet he's a brave fellow, too. Hmm?

And there's the drum major.

And here is the strongman.

We'll -- we'll call him Sandow, hmm?

And who is this?

Well, that's, uh -- Oh! Of course.

That's little Harriett Hoctor.

And i've always wanted to give her a chance.

I'll tell you what, now, you hold her for a minute,

and we'll bring her on later, hmm?

Now, let's put it all back of a curtain,

just as i do in the theater.

Now, this is the curtain.

[ Fanfare music ]

♪ We're the greatest of the gladiators ♪

♪ Entertainers and impersonators ♪

♪ Showmen all of reputation ♪

♪ We've appeared in every nation ♪

♪ We're the leaders of a great procession ♪

♪ All true members of the same profession ♪

♪ Here's our attraction, when we're in action ♪

♪ We're the greatest show on earth ♪

♪ When i show my strength, they cry bravo! ♪

♪ When i'm in the cage, I steal the show ♪

♪ When i crack my whip, I'm king of the ring ♪

♪ On a high trapeze, you'll see us swing ♪

♪ When i throw my clubs, you'll all watch me

♪ When i show my face, they laugh at me ♪

♪ When i lead the band, the crowd yells grand! ♪

♪ Troupers on parade ♪

♪ Where's the place we can call our home? ♪

♪ And we go on on till we die ♪

♪ Always troupers on ♪

♪ Parade ♪

[ Fanfare music ]

[ Mellow music ]

♪ Gentlemen, we think you're great ♪

♪ We loved your little song ♪

♪ But can't you see you're out of place? ♪

♪ You really don't belong ♪

♪ So goodbye, you'll have to go ♪

♪ This is a Ziegfeld show ♪

♪ We think you're grand, but surely you must know ♪

♪ A circus must be different in a Ziegfeld show ♪

♪ We're great entertainers ♪

♪ Yet you must all agree ♪

♪ This show must be a fantasy ♪

♪ A circus must be different in a Ziegfeld show ♪

♪ So long, toodle-oo ♪

♪ Goodbye to you ♪

♪ A circus must be different in a Ziegfeld show ♪

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Applause ]

[ Dramatic music ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Laughing ]

- What's the laugh, Jack? - This article on Ziegfeld.

It says he's not only broke, but he can't borrow

a nickel in any of the banks.

Well, he wouldn't have to borrow if he'd commercialize the shows.

But they could never get him to send out

a number two or three company.

He wanted the public to see only his best production.

Why doesn't he stick to his Follies?

That other show is terrible.

MAN: I guess the old boy's washed up.

He's been slipping for years.

White and Carroll have got it all over him.

Bob, let me have a cold towel, will you?

- Well, the guy's getting old. - Yeah, and broke.

He won't have another hit on Broadway.

MAN: Well, isn't somebody building another

theater for him on Sixth Avenue?

MAN: Yeah, it's to be his monument.

It's about time. He could use a monument.

[ Chuckling ]

- I don't know you fellas. - You got nothing on me.

- I don't know you. - Well, you ought to.

You've been burying me for five minutes.

I'm Ziegfeld. And you boys are right.

I'm not going to have another hit on Broadway.

I'm going to have four.

Four at one time. You get that? Four!

And all hits.

Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld! You forgot your tie.

He's gonna have four hits, and he hasn't got a tie left.

[ Laughter ]

Flo.

Darling.

Why did you come upstairs without saying hello?

Are you trying to elude me?

[ Chuckles ]

No. I'm not feeling very well, dear.

Oh. Poor darling.

You're just tired.

Where's your tie?

Hmm?

What do you think of that? I...

I must've left it in the barbershop this afternoon.

And you've been around without it ever since?

Darling, that isn't like you.

What's wrong, Flo?

- Billie, I'm all through. - Through with what?

Everything. I'm slipping. I'm getting old.

And who told you that?

Three men in the barbershop.

Oh. That's why you forgot your tie.

Yes, and i've never done anything like that

before in my whole life.

Isn't that tragic.

For the first time in your long career, you forgot a tie.

It's a calamity.

Who were those men, Flo?

I don't know. I never saw them before.

They said i'd never produce another hit.

And what did you say?

I told them i'd have four on Broadway at the same time.

- Sounds more like you. - Yes.

But it was only a bluff.

I'm sorry, dear. I don't mean to worry you.

Where's Patricia?

She's having her dinner.

You came home very late, dear.

Oh, yes, dear. I'm sorry. i...

I've been so worried.

The play is such a terrible failure.

But you're not, darling.

Mm-hmm.

Afraid i am.

Well, shall we have some dinner?

Flo, I'm disappointed in you.

I didn't think you'd ever lose confidence in yourself.

But i must be the failure, not you.

Oh, Billie.

No, I mean it, darling.

Before we were married,

you never thought of failure.

Even when you were broke.

It was your sublime superiority more than anything else

that made me admire you so much.

Please don't change, Flo.

Don't let Patricia and me become a worry to you.

We don't expect you to reduce your life to just us.

I want you to go right on being just as you always were.

I would never be jealous

because with your love of beauty,

you could never be cheap or common.

So, in whatever you do,

you need never fear me.

And what is more important,

don't be afraid of yourself.

[ Instrumental music ]

I'm not going to be afraid, Billie.

Alright, young man.

I'll give you a chance to prove it.

In my vault, I have all the jewelry you've ever given me.

Even the queen's crown.

And some very good bonds.

They're all yours,

on one condition,

that you keep your promise to those three men

and have four hits on Broadway.

Is that a bargain?

Oh, Billie.

[ Instrumental music ]

MAN: ♪ Old man river ♪

♪ He just keeps rolling ♪

♪ Along ♪

[ Applause ]

Mr. Ziegfeld.

Just a minute.

Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld, it's Inspector Doyle

of the police department.

- He says it's important. - Oh.

Why didn't you say so? Send him in.

Alright.

Alright, Mr. Doyle.

Hello, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Hello, inspector.

- Well, we got them, alright. - You did? That's wonderful.

I'll say it's wonderful, with the descriptions you gave us.

- Where are they? - Right outside.

- Bring them in. - Alright, sir.

DOYLE: Bring those birds in here.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

- Here they are. - What's the meaning of this?

Pipe down, pipe down.

Now, Mr. Ziegfeld, what's the charge against these men?

- Murder. - Murder?

ZIEGFELD: Yes, murder.

About a year ago, these three gentlemen

killed me and buried me.

- Killed? Buried? - Yes.

In a Times Square barbershop. Remember?

Oh, yes, I remember. Don't you --

Now, I'm going to give each of you a box

to all four of my shows.

Four hits, all in one season.

And then i want you to tell me whether or not

you still think i'm washed up.

I'm sorry, gentlemen, but this is the only way

- I could locate you. - But Mr. Ziegfeld --

I knew that if you were to be found at all,

Inspector Doyle here was the one to do it.

Sam, would you have Goldie take their names

and make their reservations for whatever nights they wish.

- Good day, gentlemen. - This way, gentlemen.

Thank you, inspector.

That's getting even with a vengeance.

Well, that's not a bad ending for a practical joke, is it?

[ Indistinct chatter ]

Goldie, take these gentlemen's names and addresses.

Mr. Ziegfeld, don't you realize

what you may have let yourself in for?

These gentlemen can sue you for false arrest,

to say nothing of the police department.

Sam, don't you realize that

we have nothing to worry about anymore?

I hope so, sir.

You don't even have to hope.

Do you know what i've been doing?

- What, sir? - Buying stocks.

I've bought over a million.

- Outright? - No, on margin.

But all solid securities.

And when i've paid for them,

I'm going to buy another million and then another and another.

Sam, I'm going to be really rich.

- I'm hope you're right, sir. - Mm.

But the market's been behaving

very queerly these last few days.

[ Intercom buzzing ]

Yes?

Croydon and company on the phone, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Oh, yes, put them on.

They've been trying to get you all morning.

They're my broker. Hello? Speaking.

MAN: We've been trying to locate you all morning.

[ Indistinct chatter ]

Oh. Well, what happened?

[ Indistinct chatter on phone ]

Down 20 to 40 points?

[ Indistinct chatter on phone ]

- How much? -$300,000.

-$300,000? - What is it?

[ Indistinct chatter on phone ]

Oh, no, no, no! Don't do that!

I'll cover.

I'll get the money to you in just a little while.

Will you put Holloway on the phone?

Flo, what is it?

The market, Sam. It's -- it's crashed.

I've got to get $300,000 in cash, immediately.

- How are we gonna do it? - I don't know.

Maybe i could borrow it from a bank.

- On what? - On your shows.

It's too late, Sam. I've already mortgaged the shows

to put up the first payments on the stock.

What's that?

MAN: We can't locate Mr. Holloway.

But you've got to locate him!

MAN: Will you be able to cover it?

Yes, of course i'll cover.

I'll get the money over to you in just

a little while. Just hold the wire.

- Sam, get Billings. - Yes, sir.

Try his house, his office, anywhere, but get Billings!

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Whistles ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Clamoring ]

Mr. Nagus, we haven't received your check yet,

and your margin's entirely wiped out.

Hello, Mr. Billings. I'll be right with you.

No, we can't, Mr. Nagus.

I'm sorry, but we can't hold your stocks any longer.

Mr. Billings, we've had to sell you out, too.

Well, that takes me back to my second childhood consistently.

[ Chuckles ] I was a poor kid when i started.

Mr. Holloway, Mr. Ziegfeld's on number six for you.

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Billings.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Yes, we had to sell you out about half an hour ago.

Yes.

Yeah, I know it is, and i'm terribly sorry.

Ziegfeld? I didn't know he was in the market.

Oh, yes, very heavy. He'll lose everything.

Everything?

Everything.

Well, this is one time he can't get it from me.

[ Laughing ]

Oh!

[ Laughing ]

[ Instrumental music ]

Yes, madam. Yes, madam, it is.

The doctor left about 10 minutes ago, madam.

He seemed very happy about Mr. Ziegfeld.

Said he might stay up for a while longer.

Oh, he did so enjoy sitting up to dinner

with you and Miss Patricia.

No, madam.

But don't let him stay up too long.

Yes, I know, but the more he rests,

the sooner he'll be well again.

[ Doorbell buzzes ]

And, Sidney, tell him

I'll be home immediately after the performance.

It's time for your entrance, Miss Burke.

Yes, yes.

Sidney, be sure to call me

right after the second act.

Yes, about 10:05.

Yes, madam.

Madam was very happy about you, sir.

[ Ziegfeld chuckles ]

ZIEGFELD: Oh, my poor Billie.

I wish she weren't working.

But it does help some, Sidney.

Get those wires off as quickly as you can, will you?

- SIDNEY: Yes, sir. - Were you able to reach

Eddie Cantor by phone?

The Los Angeles operator's been

trying to reach him for some time, sir.

Tell her to keep on trying.

- And Sidney? - Yes, sir?

When you get him, tell him that i want him for a new show.

Tell him that i'm ready to start rehearsals

the instant he can get away from those...pictures.

Tell him i need him.

I haven't had a real show in two years.

- Yes, sir. Yes, sir. -[ Doorbell ringing ]

Wasn't that the bell, Sidney?

Yes, sir.

Well, why don't you answer it?

Yes, sir.

- Mr. Billings. - Yeah.

Hello, Sidney.

How's Mr. Ziegfeld?

Well, he's much improved, sir, but he's very nervous.

He will be glad to see you, sir.

I think if we could get him started on a new show, sir.

- Yes. - I mean to say,

if he had the money, sir --

Yes, well, we'll see that he gets it.

Oh.

[ Chuckles ]

My valet isn't as efficient as you used to be, Sidney.

He lets me neglect things.

Alright for me to go in and see him?

Yes, sir. I wouldn't stay too long.

No, no, no.

[ Chuckles ] Well, hello, Ziggy.

How are you feeling?

Hello, Jack.

I'm feeling much better. Thank you.

- Sit down there, won't you? - Yeah.

Yeah, let me look at you.

[ Chuckles ] I don't think you've been sick at all.

Just playing possum, that's what you're doing,

So your creditors can't find you.

[ Laughing ]

- No. No creditors. - No. No creditors.

Well, when are you going to be up and around?

Well, pretty soon now, I hope.

Hurry up. I'm expecting you to go to Europe with me.

Oh. Well, when are you sailing?

In a couple of weeks. We'll stop off at Monte Carlo.

You can break the bank again.

[ Laughing ]

And then we'll go to London.

Maybe we can find some new talent together.

- Does it interest you? - Yes.

Yes, I'd like to go to London.

Yeah? Why?

You got someone in mind?

No.

Why?

- Have you? - No.

But i wouldn't tell you if i had,

not if you were 10 times as sick as you are.

[ Laughing ]

[ Coughing ]

Oh, those were great old days, Jack.

Yeah!

Remember the fair?

Do i?

- Little Egypt. - Yeah.

Sandow.

Yeah, and then Anna Held.

Yes.

Oh, I -- I'm sorry, Ziggy.

Why is it, Jack, that in a world so old...

...life must be so short?

Short? I feel as if i'd been here a thousand years,

and i'm going to stay a thousand more,

and you'd feel the same way if you'd snap out of it

and get a new show started.

Yes.

Yes, I'd like to do another Follies.

Why don't you do it?

Don't you think it's about time

that you and i split 50-50 in something??

I'd love to, Jack,

but it'll take a lot of money.

I've never refused you before, have i?

No, but that was all in the dark ages.

Before the depression, I mean.

I heard that the market got you.

Me? Why, ...

Don't be silly.

I'm too smart for any stock market.

Oh, I lost a couple of thousand or so, but...

[ Chuckles ] I got out in time.

- Really? - Yeah.

How about you? Did it get you?

Oh, no. No, I, uh...

-I never played the market. - BILLINGS: Oh.

Oh, I may have dropped a few hundred, maybe but...

nothing to speak of.

[ Sighs ]

Well, how much money do you suppose it will take, Ziggy?

Oh, a couple of hundred thousand.

A couple of hundred thousand, huh?

Mm.

Well, okay, it's a deal.

You pull yourself together and get well,

and i'll give you the money.

Isn't that wonderful, Mr. Ziegfeld?

Doesn't that make you feel better, sir?

Yes, that makes me feel much better.

Jack, you're a real person.

Yeah, well, you're --

You're not a bad sort yourself, Ziggy.

Well, I'll -- I'll drop in tomorrow.

Yes. Uh, do that.

Oh, and, Ziggy, if you just put your mind to it,

I think you'll be up and around in a week.

But don't let me rush you

because while you're sitting here convalescing,

I'll be picking out the gals for the new show, huh?

[ Laughing ]

Well, he looks alright to me, Sidney.

Undoubtedly, he will be, sir,

thanks to you.

I hope so.

Take good care of him, Sidney, because

if anything happened to Ziggy, I...

Well, take good care of him.

[ Instrumental music ]

SIDNEY: Mr. Ziegfeld.

Mr. Ziegfeld, I wouldn't tax my strength if i were you, sir.

Sidney, I've got things to do.

I must get Cantor, Bill Rogers, Bill Fields.

They must come back to me!

I'll have all my old stars together in one great show.

I must do the biggest Follies of my whole life!

I...

[ Mellow music ]

Oh, Sidney.

I'm so terribly broke.

But Mr. Billings, sir. Isn't he going to help you?

Sidney, he hasn't a nickel.

He was lying to me, just to make me feel better.

We're both broke.

I wouldn't worry about that, sir.

You've been broke before, sir.

Yes, I know.

I've always laughed about it.

But i can't laugh anymore, Sidney.

Because I've been wrong.

I've got nothing.

- Nothing to leave anyone. - Nothing, sir?

You leave them the memories of the finest things

ever done on the stage, sir.

You'll leave them a name that they can be

proud of all their lives.

And you'll soon feel better, sir,

and then you can do more beautiful things

than ever before, sir.

It's nice of you, Sidney, to say that.

I must call madam again now, sir.

It's after 10:00.

[ Instrumental music ]

The memories

of the finest things ever done on the stage.

SIDNEY: Chicory 5161.

Hello? Get me Miss Burke's dressing room, please.

Yes.

Oh, Miss Burke,

he seems to be resting comfortably.

Yes. I thought you'd like to know.

Yes, Miss Burke. Yes, I'll deliver your message.

Mr. Ziegfeld.

Mr. Z--

[ Music continues ]

Hello. Is Dr. Hassel still in the building, please?

Would you ask him to come up to Mr. Ziegfeld's

apartment at once, please?

Yes. Hurry, please.

♪ We are the musketeers ♪

♪ Bold dashing musketeers ♪

♪ We are the musketeers ♪

[ Indistinct chorus ]

♪ When it was whoopee that came along ♪

♪ And it was whoopee that brought a song ♪

♪ There's a place that i know ♪

ZIEGFELD: I've got to have more steps.

I need more steps.

I've got to get higher.

Higher.

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Mellow music ]

[ Dramatic music ]

[ Instrumental music ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]

[ Music continues ]