Original subtitles

- Hey! - Are you... OK?

I just got hit in the head with a shovel.

Why didn't you tell me your dad was missing?

Tell me you found him. More importantly, the money.

Is this a bakery or a Chinese restaurant?

Both, yeah. Fusion.

You'll never guess

what I found.

The shovel. Probably.

The one that hit you in the face!

Oh! Fuck!

She's gonna get rid of the body by baking it into her pies.

If I help you find your dad, you'll pay me the 5,000?

- Fine.

Looks like you uncovered my little secret.

I can't believe you worked it out.

Look, uh, I'm... I'm sure you have your... your reasons

and that is fine.

- It's fine? - It's fine.

Of course it's fine.

- Totally fine. - It's so fine.

- It's fine. - Really fine.

- Tell her. - I'm telling her.

Stop saying it's fine.

I know it's fine.

Circle-of-life shit.

What I don't know is who you've told about it.

No-one. No-one.

And we... we... we are not gonna tell a... a single person.

- Not a soul. - Not a soul, no.

I mean, we... we... respect

the... the creative process too much.

You know, all I really frankly, to be honest,

all I care about is... is the... the money.

Is getting the money.

- The money? - Yeah. If you just...

If you just hand it over,

we're not gonna say anything about this.

In case you hadn't noticed, dickhead,

I'm the one holding the gun.

That's fair. That's fair.

- Yeah. - So, this is how it's gonna go.

Here.

What's... What are you...

- What are you doing? - Take it.

Try it.

What?

I know your tastebuds have been poisoned

by corn syrup and processed shit,

but at least try it.

- No, thank you. I-I... It's... - Eat it!

If you remember, I actually had some

when I first came into the store, so...

Not this kind, you didn't.

Please, I'm... I'm begging you not to...

Eat the fuckin' pie or I'll blow your fuckin' head off!

- I'll eat it. - You're a vegetarian.

I wouldn't make you do that.

Eat it.

Be a big boy.

Just getting it ready.

Big bite.

Can't taste the difference, can ya?

Mm-mm.

No. You are... What is wrong with you?!

What? Too much coriander?

What kind of a sick fuck

forces somebody to eat their own father?!

- What's that, now? - It's human flesh!

Specifically, my father!

Jesus Christ!

Of course it fuckin' isn't!

Oh, yeah? Then what's Hugo's hat doing here?

That's my hat. Half the fuckin' town has the same hat.

OK, why are you driving around town in the dead of night

with a bloody shovel in the back of your ute, then?

Because I pick up roadkill.

I collect it at night 'cause I don't want people knowing.

Even though it's totally environmentally friendly,

some people are pretty narrow-minded

about this kind of shit.

OK, it's not as bad as we thought, but it's still gross!

- I mean, what about hygiene? - Uh, it's completely hygienic.

I only use the freshest kills.

Roos, dingoes, wallabies, the odd emu.

So, that wasn't you

that hit me over the head with the shovel last night?

If someone hit you over the head,

you probably deserved it for being a nosy bastard,

but it wasn't me.

Shit. Ah! Fuck!

Yeah, OK, we believe you. Just put the gun down.

- Promise not to say anything. - Obviously!

We promise.

- Good.

Now, take your unsophisticated palates

and get the fuck out!

Come on. Let's just...

Psycho. Jesus!

Fuckin' hell.

Shit.

Oh, it has got too much coriander.

I thought you were looking for your dad

because he's your dad.

I am.

But as soon as you think

you're being forced to eat him, your focus shifts to money?

- What's that about? - He has some money of mine.

I need to get it back. That is all.

- It's not a big deal. - Yeah, that checks out.

You only flew halfway around the world for it. No biggie.

How is any of this your business?

I thought I was helping you

get to the bottom of your dad's disappearance.

Yeah, well, your theory didn't pan out.

So, you know what? I'm good. Thank you.

But you said... We had a deal. Andy!

Andy!

What do you want?

Fuckin' onto you, mate.

♪ I switch on, I switch off

♪ I switch on, I switch off I switch on, I switch off

♪ I switch on, I switch off

♪ I switch on, I switch off I switch on, I switch off

♪ I switch on, I switch off I switch on, I switch off... ♪

No, I haven't found him.

But right now, I need to go to sleep.

Well, you can sleep when we get the money back.

'Night, Dom!

Oh, 'night!

Don't work too late.

No, no, no, I won't. I won't.

Look, I think Liliana suspects something.

No way.

All Liliana cares about

is who's bringing cookies to the Compliment Circle this week.

- Andy, I'm telling you... - Oh, is that Andy?

Is he really sick

or is he out on other job interviews?

He hasn't seemed happy here lately.

No, no, of course he's sick.

He's got a kidney stone in his urethra.

- He almost died. - Oh, God!

Poor Andy. I am so sorry.

No, no, no. It's OK. You couldn't have known.

Tell him I hope he feels better soon.

- I will. Have a... - 'Bye.

Oh, goddamn it.

That was impressive.

Andy, she's found one of the accounts.

What? How?

I used a deceased client.

She saw that the account had been reopened.

I told her it was a mistake, but...

Look, I think she bought it,

but, look, man, to be honest, I'm nervous.

OK. That just sounds like bad luck.

No, man, I'm telling you, man, she is sniffing around.

What if she finds one of the other accounts?

She's not going to

because you're gonna make sure

that that doesn't happen, Dom.

Maybe I should just close 'em all down.

No, you can't close them. We're not done yet.

Well, look, man, I gotta be honest.

I don't know how much longer I can keep all this up.

Listen, the UAE transaction is in 72 hours.

I will find the money.

It's gonna go through

and then we'll figure out what to do next,

but right now, I need to go to bed.

What the hell's going on down there, Andy?

I haven't slept since I got here

and I almost ate my dad last night.

I didn't almost eat him. It wasn't my dad.

It doesn't matter. I feel sick and I need to go to bed.

'Bye, Dom.

♪ Your mind is all you've got

♪ Try to keep it to yourself

♪ You told my mind that I don't know how to feel

♪ I'm trying all this time to know what is real

♪ You think about my mind

♪ So you see I won't get hurt

♪ And you say all the time that I don't know what is real... ♪

Slowing down, thank you.

Bloody tourist!

Baby boy want an apple?

Uh, no, thank you. Um...

- Eat it. - W-what?

- Bite it.

Good boy.

You love it. Suckle on it.

Oh! Oh!

- Good boy.

Shouldn't you get that? It keeps ringing.

Oh. Uh, fuckin'...

What?

This is Andrew Pruden.

Oh! I knew you'd call.

OK, so, what's the latest?

- On what? - My missing father!

Listen, sweetheart, people disappear out here all the time,

never to be seen or heard of again.

Some people fall off the face of the earth

in violent, horrifying circumstances

and some people who go missing

just don't want to be found at all.

Have you ever considered that?

So, you're... you're just not gonna look?

Look

I'm not saying don't get your hopes...

Oh, no, wait. Yep, that's exactly what I'm saying.

Thanks for calling.

- Ow!

Argh!

Hello?

- Ow! Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! What the fuck? Who are you?

Watch the language, please!

Oh, hi. Did you... Did you just see...

Never mind.

Uh, I was wondering if I could use your internet.

- Innernet? - Yeah.

- No, we don't have innernet. - You... you don't?

Didn't I see the...?

Oh, internet? With a 'T'?

Yes, internet with a 'T'.

- Yeah, the 'T' is not silent. - I didn't make it silent!

Mm, sorta did, though.

You know what I'm... What I'm asking.

- Internet? - Internet.

- Internet. - May I use your internet?

What's the magic word, though?

Please?

Not that hard, is it?

No.

Did, uh...

Did Hugo ever use this computer,

you know, for online banking or...?

I am not at liberty to...

Yeah, you're not at liberty to say.

- You can't tell me anything. - Absolutely.

You know your head's bleeding?

Oh, yeah. I fell and hurt myself.

Oh.

You can't use my internet

with a gaping wound like that.

I don't want blood on my keyboard.

OK, well...

Is there a bandage, maybe, or...

Oh, no, that's a nasty cut.

A bandage won't do.

Oh, I don't know. I suppose I could stitch it up for you.

Ah, of course. You're a doctor too.

Well, more of an amateur vet.

Yeah, I mean, I don't wanna blow my own horn,

but I have been stitching up animals for years.

There's not a dog in this town

that hasn't had my magic fingers all over them.

- Lucky dogs. - They sure are.

I think I'm OK with the stitches,

but thank you anyway.

Alright, well, think about it this way

when your dad comes back,

you can tell him that I took care of his little baby boy.

Do you think my...

He's coming back?

Who knows? Maybe he's on holiday.

Maybe something strange happened or maybe

he never left.

So

what'll it be?

It's like a museum in here.

Yeah, that's the plan, once I've gathered enough artefacts.

Security cameras?

Town this small?

Yeah, you can never let your guard down

where people are concerned.

I like to keep a close eye on everyone,

especially those I don't trust.

Oh, yeah?

- Yeah. - Like who?

Oh, you haven't met Jeff yet, have you?

No.

Who's Jeff?

- Argh, Jesus! - Ah, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Oh, don't worry. You'll meet Jeff.

What's with the nurse?

Well, it's not a sex thing, if that's what you're thinking.

I wasn't. It's... I just...

Well, that's lucky, 'cause it's a tribute to my mother.

She was a nurse.

That was her uniform. Any other questions?

Were you friends with Hugo?

Oh, sure. I love your dad. Fantastic individual.

We're extremely close.

Oh, I mean, you know, having said that,

I can see why people might say we were... rivals.

Rivals?

Well, it was my idea to run UFO tours

and Hugo did steal it,

but, to be fair,

anyone could have come up with

that exact same incredibly specific idea

right after I told him about it.

I see.

That's just the kinda guy he is.

God, I miss him.

Hope he comes back soon.

Me too.

So, um

let me ask you something.

How do we know you are who you say you are?

I mean, what are we to think?

You come in here out of the blue looking for Hugo

like a debt collector, not a long-lost son.

See, Americans always want something.

If they can't turn a profit, they just won't do it.

You watch too many movies.

I've never seen a movie.

I watch people.

And I can see in your eyes that you want something.

Yeah.

I wanna know where Hugo is.

You mean your dad?

Alright.

Well, as a man from a nation

that understands the importance of independence,

I wanna show you something.

Come on.

- Incredible. - Mm.

- Is this your hobby? - Oi! Hobbies are for children.

What you are looking at is a model

for a future micro nation.

- A micro nation? - Mm. Nation within a nation.

See, what I aim to achieve is the registration

of the Principality of Bidgeegudland.

Just need everybody's votes.

Hugo was against it, naturally.

Maybe you can help me get him on board, if he's ever found.+.

- Why would you wanna do this? - Why wouldn't I?

You see, every government in the last 200-plus years

in this country has been rubbish

and I am fed up recognising their authority.

Much better to have a self-governed nation,

you know, with our own laws and currency

and flag and stamps.

I'm even working on a national anthem.

- Would you like to hear it? - Not really.

Good. Lyrics aren't quite there yet.

Where's Hugo?

Well, I like to update the model in real time.

Hugo's missing, isn't he?

So, it stands to reason

he's vanished from here too.

- Oh, excuse I.

It's 47.50 for the stitches too and I don't bulk bill either.

Hello?

Hugo?

Hey, Val, uh...

- There you go, darl. - I didn't order that.

Well, it's poured now. I'll just put it on your tab.

- Hey, have you seen Cassie? - Yes!

She just rented the room next to yours.

She told me to put that on your tab as well.

Great.

Uh, Leon?

Enjoying our little town, are ya?

Uh, not particularly.

And I actually don't really have time for whatever this is.

Oh, yeah? How you liking the people, mate?

They are fine.

Anyone in particular you liking?

Uh, you know, I'll think about it and let you know, OK?

Hey, any of the, uh, female women

in particular that you're liking?

I don't know.

Just off the top of me head...

Audrey?

The pie lady?

Un-fucking-believable, bud.

You been here for, what, huh, five fucking seconds?

You're already waving

your stars-and-stripes dick around, aren't ya?

Fuckin' the one woman who's supposed to be mine, you dog!

What?

Yeah, I saw you leaving her house this morning.

Was that you watching me via that drone?

'Vee-a'?

You're not gonna distract me

with your bullshit words, mate.

Nothing happened.

Cassie and I went in to talk her about something

and there was a little misunderstanding about pies.

Oh, OK, what type of misunderstanding, mate?

Doesn't matter. Nothing. That's all.

Ask... ask Cassie. Nothing happened.

Shit! Fuck!

Sorry, mate. I'm sorry.

I-I get a bit caught up in it and I make dumb assumptions.

Yeah, of course Audrey's not gonna be into you.

I mean, have a look at you.

You look like one of those blokes

that tries to sell me fucking life insurance

or some bullshit, you know?

Well, glad I could clear that up for you.

Anyway, if you don't mind,

I'm kind of in the middle of something.

- Oh, yeah, righto. No worries. - Yeah.

Hey, Andy

how do I make Audrey like me?

Oh, um, I don't know. Just be yourself.

Oh, yeah, OK.

What if she doesn't fuckin' like this myself person?

A fuckin' small town, bud. Small town.

I can't just make an arse of myself. What if she says no?

I fuckin' live here, man.

Uh, well, you know, Leon,

maybe just - I don't know - make a joke out of it, you know?

Ask her out and if she says no,

then you can tease her for thinking

that you were being serious

and then she looks silly and you don't, so...

Yeah.

Mate, that is fuckin' genius advice.

Genius. I'll just make a fuckin' joke of it!

- Yeah. - Yes!

Because then if she says no, I can just say,

"What are you? Stupid or something?"

"I was having a fuckin' joke, you dumb fuckin' bitch."

Well, maybe not in those exact...

No, but that's good. Thank you.

- Are you gonna have that one? - Knock yourself out.

Thanks, mate.

See ya.

That's some of the dumbest advice I've ever heard.

There you are. Hey, uh, have you met anybody named Jeff?

Jeff? Nah. Why?

Doesn't matter.

Uh, I need you to distract Noel

at the general store for me.

Sorry, did you just say 'need'?

I thought you didn't need anyone's help.

Well, you clearly haven't been taking the hint.

So, I'm working for you? The deal's back on?

Say it.

- Say I'm working for you. - OK, fine.

Yes, you, Cassie - I don't know your last name

are officially working for me, OK?

So, now can we maybe update your resume some other time?

Alright. Distract Noel, you say? Too easy.

♪ They're after us

♪ You've got to care

♪ I know what is the burden

♪ It's the money you want

♪ And the mind to kill

♪ It's the power of life

♪ And the lives you steal

♪ Exploit them and their minds

♪ It's for the good of mankind

♪ We want your mind, we want your mind. ♪

What are you staring at?

Just your potential.

What?

- So, you dye your hair, right? - No, I don't.

OK. Well, it looks great.

But how would you like to look even younger?

Oh, no, not interested.

- It's free. - I'll give it a go, sure.

Hm.

So, is there a special lady in your life?

Just get on with it, please, before I change my mind.

It feels weird.

Uh, yeah, that's just the minerals doing their work.

Mm, good. It is kind of burning, though.

- Oh. - I think I want to take it off.

Just give it a minute. You won't regret it.

Oh, my God!

You look 18 months younger at least. Wow.

Would you mind if I take a photo?

Yeah, I would mind. No photos.

Oh, then a mirror. Look, look.

Come and... You have to see it for yourself.

Hurry. Come and have a look.

I just think we've gone a little bit far enough.

Oh, wow!

I look great.

Really great. I seriously think I look younger.

What did I tell you? It never fails.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

This is how I look in my mind

before I look in the mirror.

You'll keep. Stop.

Now, this over here is amazing.

Ah, ah, don't touch... Oh, look!

I told you. I spent a long time on that.

I'm sorry. Oh, look at this little crocodile. He's cute.

Mm, his name's Jeff.

He's the only animal left in my private zoo

after Hugo let all the other ones out.

Oh, shit.

Andy!

Andy!

- Andy! - What are you doing?

Get back inside. Get back inside.

It's Jeff. Jeff!

Jeff's a crocodile!

I can't... I can't hear you.

It's Jeff. The crocodile.

Oh, my God, who's Jeff?

Behind you.

Fuck you, Jeff!

Do you think Noel knew I was coming?

Maybe he's taunting you

like the Riviera Postcard Bandit from 1977.

Who's that? Never mind.

Don't tell me. I can already sense that it's irrelevant.

I think Hugo was in that shed, but he was moved

and Noel put that dummy in there to mess with you.

So, now we just have to figure out where Noel moved him.

Oh, yeah, I'd love a beer. Thanks, Val.

- Mm. - Oh, look out.

- Mm! - What's she doing here?

Mm! That's better.

Gonna make this little announcement a bit easier.

Alright, can I have a bit of quiet?

Hugo's been found.

- How good's that? - Uh, where is he?

Let me finish.

His body.

Hugo's been found dead.

Well, that's no good, hey?

That's why you don't interrupt.

♪ I feel like letting you know

♪ Oh, oh

♪ How much I love you today

♪ Ay-ay... ♪