Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:56,220 --> 00:00:57,915
Onward, Ohauncey!
2
00:00:58,055 --> 00:01:00,649
To the highest room
of the tallest tower...
3
00:01:00,791 --> 00:01:05,888
...where my princess awaits rescue
from her handsome Prince Oharming!
4
00:01:17,241 --> 00:01:21,007
This is worse than " Love Letters" .
I hate dinner theater!
5
00:01:21,145 --> 00:01:22,908
Me, too.
6
00:01:24,248 --> 00:01:26,239
Whoa there, Ohauncey!
7
00:01:27,651 --> 00:01:31,109
Hark! The brave Prince Oharming
approacheth.
8
00:01:31,255 --> 00:01:35,624
Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay
the monster that guards you...
9
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,695
...then take my place as rightful king.
10
00:01:38,829 --> 00:01:40,421
What did she say?
11
00:01:44,201 --> 00:01:45,600
It's Shrek!
12
00:01:45,870 --> 00:01:47,531
Whoo, Shrek, yeah!
13
00:01:49,774 --> 00:01:51,867
Prepare, foul beast...
14
00:01:52,009 --> 00:01:56,673
...to enter into a world of pain
with which you are not familiar!
15
00:01:56,814 --> 00:01:59,374
Happy birthday to thee
Happy birthday to thee
16
00:01:59,517 --> 00:02:00,779
Do you mind?
17
00:02:01,118 --> 00:02:04,281
Do you mind? Boring!
18
00:02:08,793 --> 00:02:11,125
Prepare, foul beast...
19
00:02:20,137 --> 00:02:22,833
Someday you'll be sorry.
20
00:02:22,973 --> 00:02:25,134
We already are!
21
00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:51,564
Mommy...
22
00:02:55,506 --> 00:02:58,998
You're right. I can't let this happen.
23
00:02:59,844 --> 00:03:01,175
I can't !
24
00:03:02,346 --> 00:03:06,112
I am the rightful King of Far Far Away.
25
00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:08,343
And I promise you this, Mother...
26
00:03:08,686 --> 00:03:11,416
...I will restore dignity to my throne.
27
00:03:16,026 --> 00:03:17,118
And this time,
28
00:03:17,261 --> 00:03:21,425
no one will stand in my way.
29
00:03:38,382 --> 00:03:40,043
Good morning.
30
00:03:41,051 --> 00:03:42,712
Good morning.
31
00:03:44,388 --> 00:03:45,412
Morning breath.
32
00:03:45,556 --> 00:03:48,719
I know. Isn't it wonderful?
33
00:03:49,393 --> 00:03:51,224
Good morning, good morning
34
00:03:51,896 --> 00:03:54,296
The sun is shining through
35
00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:56,626
Good morning, good morning
To you
36
00:03:56,767 --> 00:03:58,894
And you!
And you!
37
00:04:02,806 --> 00:04:04,501
They grow up so fast.
38
00:04:04,642 --> 00:04:06,735
Not fast enough.
39
00:04:08,812 --> 00:04:11,508
You'll be filling in
for the King and Queen.
40
00:04:11,649 --> 00:04:14,846
Several functions
require your attendance, sir.
41
00:04:14,985 --> 00:04:18,284
Great! Let's get started.
42
00:04:18,422 --> 00:04:21,255
Oome on, lazybones. Time to get moving!
43
00:04:22,092 --> 00:04:24,356
You need to get a pair ofjammies.
44
00:04:31,802 --> 00:04:35,033
I got some sleep and I needed it
45
00:04:35,172 --> 00:04:37,902
Not a lot, just a little bit
46
00:04:38,042 --> 00:04:41,136
Someone's always
trying to keep me from it
47
00:04:41,278 --> 00:04:44,111
It's a crying shame
48
00:04:44,782 --> 00:04:47,148
It's a royal pain in the neck
49
00:04:47,284 --> 00:04:48,945
I knight thee.
50
00:05:10,808 --> 00:05:13,936
If you're filling in for a king,
you should look like one.
51
00:05:14,078 --> 00:05:17,138
Oan somebody come in
and work on Shrek?
52
00:05:18,983 --> 00:05:20,473
I will see what I can do.
53
00:05:41,672 --> 00:05:43,333
Yeah, wow.
54
00:05:44,174 --> 00:05:46,665
Is this really necessary?
55
00:05:47,444 --> 00:05:49,105
Quite necessary, Fiona.
56
00:05:49,246 --> 00:05:52,044
- I'm Shrek, you twit.
- Whatever.
57
00:05:52,182 --> 00:05:55,879
This isn't a rehearsal, peoples.
Let's see some hustle!
58
00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:57,954
Smiles, everyone! Smiles!
59
00:05:58,088 --> 00:06:01,546
I don't know how much longer
I can keep this up.
60
00:06:01,692 --> 00:06:04,627
I'm sorry, but can you
just try to grin and bear it?
61
00:06:04,762 --> 00:06:06,787
It's just until Dad gets better.
62
00:06:08,866 --> 00:06:10,197
Shrek?
63
00:06:11,535 --> 00:06:13,127
You look handsome.
64
00:06:13,270 --> 00:06:15,204
Oome here, you.
65
00:06:29,553 --> 00:06:34,217
My butt is itching up a storm and
I can't reach it in this monkey suit.
66
00:06:35,059 --> 00:06:37,994
Hey, you! Oome here. What's your name?
67
00:06:38,128 --> 00:06:40,494
Fiddlesworth, sir.
68
00:06:40,631 --> 00:06:41,723
Perfect.
69
00:06:44,401 --> 00:06:46,767
Ladies and gentlemen...
70
00:06:46,904 --> 00:06:50,067
...Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek!
71
00:06:54,411 --> 00:06:56,174
Ahh! You've got it.
72
00:06:56,313 --> 00:06:57,837
A little to the left.
73
00:06:59,083 --> 00:07:01,278
That's it! That's good.
74
00:07:01,418 --> 00:07:04,512
Oh, yeah! Scratch
that thing! You're on it.
75
00:07:04,655 --> 00:07:06,088
Shrek!
76
00:07:10,994 --> 00:07:12,120
My eye!
77
00:07:12,262 --> 00:07:13,422
What are you doing?
78
00:07:20,003 --> 00:07:20,992
Fiona!
79
00:07:24,108 --> 00:07:27,339
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. I'm fine.
80
00:07:30,948 --> 00:07:33,280
Shrimp! My favorite!
81
00:07:43,794 --> 00:07:46,490
- That's it! We're leaving!
- Oalm down.
82
00:07:46,630 --> 00:07:51,567
Oalm down? Who do you think
we're kidding? I am an ogre.
83
00:07:51,702 --> 00:07:55,297
I'm not cut out for this, Fiona,
and I never will be.
84
00:07:59,376 --> 00:08:00,741
I think that went well.
85
00:08:00,878 --> 00:08:02,106
Donkey!
86
00:08:02,246 --> 00:08:03,975
Oome on, Shrek!
87
00:08:04,481 --> 00:08:07,712
Some people just don't
understand boundaries.
88
00:08:16,994 --> 00:08:21,590
Just think. A couple more days
and we'll be back home...
89
00:08:21,732 --> 00:08:25,031
...in our vermin-filled shack
strewn with fungus...
90
00:08:25,169 --> 00:08:28,070
...and filled with the stench
of mud and neglect.
91
00:08:28,205 --> 00:08:30,833
You had me at "vermin-filled" .
92
00:08:31,675 --> 00:08:36,510
And, um... maybe even the pitter-patter
of little feet on the floor.
93
00:08:37,014 --> 00:08:39,710
That's right, the swamp rats
will be spawning.
94
00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:41,215
Uh, no.
95
00:08:41,351 --> 00:08:45,048
What I'm thinking of is a little bigger
than a swamp rat.
96
00:08:45,189 --> 00:08:46,213
Donkey?
97
00:08:46,356 --> 00:08:50,019
No, Shrek. What if, theoretically...
98
00:08:51,295 --> 00:08:53,422
...they were little ogre feet?
99
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:03,237
Honey, let's be rational about this.
100
00:09:03,373 --> 00:09:05,739
Have you seen a baby lately?
101
00:09:05,876 --> 00:09:09,073
They just eat and poop, and they cry...
102
00:09:09,213 --> 00:09:12,580
...then they cry when they poop
and poop when they cry.
103
00:09:12,716 --> 00:09:15,514
Now, imagine an ogre baby.
104
00:09:15,652 --> 00:09:19,452
They extra-cry and they extra-poop.
105
00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:23,185
Shrek, don't you ever think
about having a family?
106
00:09:23,327 --> 00:09:26,888
Right now, you're my family.
107
00:09:30,901 --> 00:09:33,062
Somebody better be dying.
108
00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:37,235
I'm dying.
109
00:09:39,576 --> 00:09:40,736
Harold?
110
00:09:42,913 --> 00:09:46,007
Don't forget
to pay the gardener, Lillian.
111
00:09:46,149 --> 00:09:48,083
Of course, darling.
112
00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:50,878
Fiona.
113
00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:52,545
Yes, Daddy?
114
00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:55,419
I know I made many mistakes with you.
115
00:09:56,426 --> 00:09:57,893
It's okay.
116
00:09:58,028 --> 00:10:00,155
But your love for Shrek has...
117
00:10:01,098 --> 00:10:02,497
...taught me much.
118
00:10:04,635 --> 00:10:06,626
My dear boy...
119
00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:10,035
...I am proud to call you my son.
120
00:10:10,173 --> 00:10:13,301
And I'm proud to call you my frog...
121
00:10:13,443 --> 00:10:15,877
...King dad-in-law.
122
00:10:16,013 --> 00:10:21,610
Now there is a matter
of business to attend to.
123
00:10:31,962 --> 00:10:34,954
The Frog King... is dead.
124
00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:45,108
Put your hat back on, fool.
125
00:10:45,242 --> 00:10:46,834
Shrek...
126
00:10:46,977 --> 00:10:48,638
...please come hither.
127
00:10:52,482 --> 00:10:53,847
Yeah, Dad?
128
00:10:53,984 --> 00:10:57,147
This kingdom needs a new king.
129
00:10:58,488 --> 00:11:03,152
You and Fiona
are next in line for the throne.
130
00:11:04,828 --> 00:11:09,026
Next in line. You see, Dad,
that's why people love you.
131
00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:12,499
Even on your deathbed,
you're still making jokes.
132
00:11:16,173 --> 00:11:19,870
Oome on, Dad. An ogre as king?
133
00:11:20,010 --> 00:11:22,535
That's not such a good idea.
134
00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:25,978
There must be somebody else. Anybody!
135
00:11:26,116 --> 00:11:31,315
Aside from you, there is
only one remaining heir.
136
00:11:31,455 --> 00:11:34,652
Really? Who is he, Dad?
137
00:11:34,791 --> 00:11:36,850
His name is...
138
00:11:38,228 --> 00:11:39,286
...is...
139
00:11:39,429 --> 00:11:41,056
What's his name?
140
00:11:41,198 --> 00:11:42,790
...is...
141
00:11:44,701 --> 00:11:45,793
Daddy!
142
00:12:03,053 --> 00:12:05,021
His name is Arthur.
143
00:12:05,155 --> 00:12:06,554
Arthur?
144
00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:14,091
I know you'll do...
145
00:12:14,231 --> 00:12:16,893
...what's right.
146
00:12:19,936 --> 00:12:21,267
Harold?
147
00:12:21,405 --> 00:12:22,963
Dad? Dad!
148
00:12:24,408 --> 00:12:25,636
Dad?
149
00:12:26,243 --> 00:12:27,835
Do your thing, man.
150
00:12:57,774 --> 00:13:01,642
When you were young and your heart
151
00:13:01,778 --> 00:13:03,939
Was an open book
152
00:13:05,949 --> 00:13:10,079
you used to say live and let live
153
00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:13,553
you know you did, you know you did
you know you did
154
00:13:14,357 --> 00:13:19,420
But if this ever changing world
In which we live in
155
00:13:20,297 --> 00:13:24,461
Makes you give in and cry
156
00:13:26,970 --> 00:13:29,131
Say live and let die
157
00:13:32,576 --> 00:13:34,237
Live and let die
158
00:14:10,747 --> 00:14:14,513
Hey, lady
you, lady
159
00:14:15,519 --> 00:14:17,680
Cursing at your life
160
00:14:18,355 --> 00:14:21,017
you're a discontented mother
161
00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:25,354
And a regimented wife
162
00:14:51,054 --> 00:14:54,217
What does a prince
have to do to get a drink here?
163
00:14:55,559 --> 00:14:57,254
Ah, Mabel!
164
00:14:57,394 --> 00:15:01,797
Why they call you an ugly stepsister,
I'll never know.
165
00:15:02,899 --> 00:15:05,993
Where's Doris? Taking the night off?
166
00:15:06,136 --> 00:15:09,902
She's not welcome here,
and neither are you.
167
00:15:11,575 --> 00:15:13,600
What do you want, Oharming?
168
00:15:13,743 --> 00:15:17,804
Not much. Just a chance at redemption.
169
00:15:19,416 --> 00:15:20,883
And a Fuzzy Navel.
170
00:15:21,017 --> 00:15:24,077
And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends!
171
00:15:28,525 --> 00:15:30,152
We're not your friends.
172
00:15:32,362 --> 00:15:34,489
You don't belong here.
173
00:15:34,631 --> 00:15:38,795
You're absolutely right,
but, I mean, do any of us?
174
00:15:38,935 --> 00:15:40,562
Do a number on his face.
175
00:15:40,704 --> 00:15:45,300
Wait, wait, wait!
We are more alike than you think.
176
00:15:45,442 --> 00:15:49,344
Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs
saved Snow White, and what happened?
177
00:15:49,479 --> 00:15:50,571
Oh, what's it to you?
178
00:15:50,714 --> 00:15:52,978
They left you the unfairest of them all.
179
00:15:53,116 --> 00:15:57,644
Now here you are,
hustling pool to get your next meal.
180
00:15:57,787 --> 00:15:59,618
How does that feel?
181
00:16:05,095 --> 00:16:06,687
Pretty unfair.
182
00:16:06,830 --> 00:16:08,229
And you!
183
00:16:08,365 --> 00:16:12,995
Your star puppet abandons the show
to go and find his father.
184
00:16:14,504 --> 00:16:16,597
I hate that little wooden puppet.
185
00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:18,708
And Hook.
186
00:16:18,842 --> 00:16:20,434
Need I say more?
187
00:16:24,147 --> 00:16:26,911
- And you, Frumpypigskin!
- Rumpelstiltskin.
188
00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:29,678
Where's that firstborn
you were promised?
189
00:16:32,088 --> 00:16:35,990
Mabel. Remember how you
couldn't get your little fat foot...
190
00:16:36,126 --> 00:16:38,026
...into that tiny glass slipper?
191
00:16:40,697 --> 00:16:44,224
Oinderella is
in Far Far Away right now...
192
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:49,395
...eating bonbons, cavorting with
every last fairy tale creature...
193
00:16:49,539 --> 00:16:52,007
...that has ever done you wrong!
194
00:16:52,142 --> 00:16:57,079
Once upon a time, someone decided
that we were the losers.
195
00:16:57,213 --> 00:17:00,080
But there are
two sides to every story...
196
00:17:00,250 --> 00:17:02,775
...and our side has not been told!
197
00:17:02,919 --> 00:17:07,788
So who will join me? Who wants
to come out on top for once?
198
00:17:07,924 --> 00:17:09,585
Who wants their...
199
00:17:09,726 --> 00:17:12,889
..." happily ever after" ?
200
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,741
This way, gents.
201
00:17:43,093 --> 00:17:48,121
It's out of my hands, senorita. The
winds of fate have blown on my destiny.
202
00:17:48,264 --> 00:17:52,064
But I will never forget you.
You are the love of my life.
203
00:17:52,202 --> 00:17:54,636
As are you.
204
00:17:54,771 --> 00:17:57,137
And, uh, you.
205
00:17:57,273 --> 00:18:00,436
I don't know you, but I'd like to.
206
00:18:01,611 --> 00:18:02,942
I got to go!
207
00:18:04,347 --> 00:18:06,042
I don't wanna leave you either.
208
00:18:06,182 --> 00:18:09,015
But you know how Shrek is.
The dude's lost without me.
209
00:18:09,953 --> 00:18:13,286
But don't worry. I'll send you
airmail kisses every day!
210
00:18:14,624 --> 00:18:15,989
Be strong, babies.
211
00:18:16,126 --> 00:18:18,560
Ooco, Peanut, listen to your mama.
212
00:18:18,695 --> 00:18:22,688
Bananas, no roasting marshmallows
on your sister's head.
213
00:18:24,701 --> 00:18:26,328
That's my special boy!
214
00:18:26,469 --> 00:18:29,563
Oome here, all of you!
Give your daddy a big hug!
215
00:18:36,146 --> 00:18:37,477
Shrek?
216
00:18:38,481 --> 00:18:42,781
Maybe you should just stay and be King.
217
00:18:42,919 --> 00:18:46,446
Oome on. There's no way
I could run a kingdom.
218
00:18:46,589 --> 00:18:49,581
That's why your cousin Arthur
is a perfect choice.
219
00:18:49,726 --> 00:18:52,251
It's not that. You see...
220
00:18:52,395 --> 00:18:56,855
And if he gives me trouble,
I always have persuasion and reason.
221
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,333
Here's persuasion... and here's reason.
222
00:19:02,739 --> 00:19:04,138
Fiona...
223
00:19:04,274 --> 00:19:07,539
...soon it's just going to be you, me...
224
00:19:07,677 --> 00:19:09,338
...and our swamp.
225
00:19:11,181 --> 00:19:13,672
It's not going to be just you and me.
226
00:19:14,951 --> 00:19:16,851
All aboard!
227
00:19:18,021 --> 00:19:20,854
It will be. I promise.
228
00:19:22,025 --> 00:19:23,515
I love you.
229
00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:31,794
That's lovely.
230
00:19:31,935 --> 00:19:33,527
Bye-bye, babies!
231
00:19:41,110 --> 00:19:42,304
Shrek!
232
00:19:43,546 --> 00:19:45,741
- Wait!
- What is it?
233
00:19:45,882 --> 00:19:47,372
I'm ... I'm ...
234
00:19:51,387 --> 00:19:53,252
I love you, too, honey!
235
00:19:53,389 --> 00:19:56,222
No! I said I'm ...
236
00:19:59,229 --> 00:20:00,662
You're what?
237
00:20:00,797 --> 00:20:03,231
I said I'm pregnant!
238
00:20:07,403 --> 00:20:08,870
What was that?
239
00:20:09,005 --> 00:20:12,065
You're going to be a father!
240
00:20:13,910 --> 00:20:15,707
That's great!
241
00:20:15,845 --> 00:20:19,110
Really? I'm glad you think so!
242
00:20:19,249 --> 00:20:20,648
I love you!
243
00:20:20,783 --> 00:20:22,774
Yeah!
244
00:20:22,919 --> 00:20:25,251
Me, too! You!
245
00:20:29,125 --> 00:20:32,617
I'm going to be an uncle!
I'm going to be an uncle!
246
00:20:32,762 --> 00:20:35,822
And you, my friend, are royally...
247
00:21:14,537 --> 00:21:15,526
Home.
248
00:21:27,817 --> 00:21:29,148
Shrek!
249
00:21:31,487 --> 00:21:32,818
Fiona!
250
00:21:36,826 --> 00:21:38,157
Fiona?
251
00:21:57,380 --> 00:21:58,779
Oh, no.
252
00:22:01,951 --> 00:22:04,852
Better out than in, I always say.
253
00:22:14,530 --> 00:22:15,861
No, no, no!
254
00:22:18,034 --> 00:22:20,594
It's okay. It's gonna be all right.
255
00:22:25,875 --> 00:22:28,036
Stop! Hey, wait!
256
00:23:17,427 --> 00:23:18,951
Donkey. Donkey!
257
00:23:19,095 --> 00:23:20,323
Wake up!
258
00:23:22,765 --> 00:23:24,096
Dada!
259
00:23:26,536 --> 00:23:28,527
Shrek! Are you okay?
260
00:23:30,273 --> 00:23:35,802
I can't believe I'm going to be
a father. How did this happen?
261
00:23:35,945 --> 00:23:40,143
Allow me to explain. When a man
has feelings for a woman...
262
00:23:40,283 --> 00:23:42,808
...a powerful urge sweeps over him.
263
00:23:42,952 --> 00:23:45,443
I know how it happened.
264
00:23:46,289 --> 00:23:48,348
I just can't believe it.
265
00:23:51,127 --> 00:23:52,958
How does it happen?
266
00:23:59,969 --> 00:24:05,236
And the cat's in the cradle
and the silver spoon
267
00:24:05,374 --> 00:24:08,002
Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon
268
00:24:08,144 --> 00:24:10,738
When you coming home, son?
I don't know when
269
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,178
But we'll get together then, Dad.
270
00:24:13,316 --> 00:24:15,307
Donkey! Oan you just cut to the part
271
00:24:15,451 --> 00:24:17,976
where you're supposed
to make me feel better?
272
00:24:18,721 --> 00:24:21,246
You know I love Fiona, boss. Right?
273
00:24:21,390 --> 00:24:25,451
What I am talking about
is you, me, my cousin's boat...
274
00:24:25,595 --> 00:24:31,192
...an ice cold pitcher of mojitos
and two weeks of nothing but fishing.
275
00:24:31,334 --> 00:24:33,199
Don't listen to him!
276
00:24:33,336 --> 00:24:36,032
Having a baby
isn't going to ruin your life.
277
00:24:36,172 --> 00:24:40,700
It's not my life I'm worried
about ruining, it's the kid's .
278
00:24:40,843 --> 00:24:45,143
When have you ever heard the phrase
"as sweet as an ogre" ...
279
00:24:45,281 --> 00:24:47,715
...or " as nurturing as an ogre" ...
280
00:24:47,850 --> 00:24:52,219
...or "You'll love
my dad. He's a real ogre."
281
00:24:52,355 --> 00:24:54,118
Okay. I get it.
282
00:24:54,257 --> 00:24:57,715
It's not going to be easy.
But you got us to help you.
283
00:24:57,860 --> 00:24:59,555
That's true.
284
00:24:59,695 --> 00:25:01,162
I'm doomed.
285
00:25:01,297 --> 00:25:02,958
You'll be fine.
286
00:25:03,866 --> 00:25:05,766
You're finished.
287
00:25:08,037 --> 00:25:10,699
Uh, with yourjourney.
288
00:25:18,881 --> 00:25:23,318
"Wor-ces-ters-shiree" ?
Now that sounds fancy!
289
00:25:23,452 --> 00:25:24,783
It's Worcestershire.
290
00:25:24,921 --> 00:25:26,752
Like the sauce?
291
00:25:26,889 --> 00:25:28,220
It's spicy!
292
00:25:32,061 --> 00:25:33,892
They must be expecting us.
293
00:25:39,802 --> 00:25:42,600
What in the shista-shire
kind of place is this?
294
00:25:42,738 --> 00:25:47,937
Well, my stomach aches and my palms
just got sweaty. Must be a high school.
295
00:25:48,077 --> 00:25:49,237
High school?
296
00:25:49,378 --> 00:25:50,936
Ready? Okay!
297
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,514
Wherefore art thou headed, to the top?
298
00:25:53,649 --> 00:25:57,608
Yeah, we think so, we think so! And
dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped?
299
00:25:57,753 --> 00:26:00,221
Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not!
300
00:26:05,494 --> 00:26:09,487
All right, Mr. Percival,
ease up on the reins.
301
00:26:12,835 --> 00:26:16,532
For lo, bro, don't burn
all my frankincense and myrrh.
302
00:26:16,672 --> 00:26:20,164
I'm feeling nauseous from memories
of wedgies and swirlies!
303
00:26:20,309 --> 00:26:24,973
How did you receive wedgies when you are
clearly not the wearer of underpants?
304
00:26:25,114 --> 00:26:28,015
Let's just say some things
are better left unsaid.
305
00:26:28,150 --> 00:26:32,211
So I was all like, " I'd rather get
the black plague than go out with you."
306
00:26:32,355 --> 00:26:34,687
- Oh, totally.
- Pardon me.
307
00:26:34,824 --> 00:26:37,622
- Totally ew-eth.
- Yeah, totally.
308
00:26:39,228 --> 00:26:41,822
I just altered my character level
to +3 superb-ability.
309
00:26:41,964 --> 00:26:44,524
Hi. We're looking for someone named...
310
00:26:44,667 --> 00:26:49,195
Who rolled a +9 dork spell and
summoned the beast and his quadruped?
311
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:55,534
I know you're busy not fitting in, but
can you tell me where I can find Arthur?
312
00:26:55,678 --> 00:26:56,975
He's over there.
313
00:27:17,166 --> 00:27:21,569
There is no sweeter taste
on thy tongue than victory!
314
00:27:24,006 --> 00:27:26,873
Strong, handsome, face of a leader.
315
00:27:27,009 --> 00:27:30,342
Does Arthur look like a king or what?
316
00:27:31,514 --> 00:27:32,845
Sorry.
317
00:27:33,582 --> 00:27:36,210
Did you say you were looking for Arthur?
318
00:27:36,352 --> 00:27:38,786
That information is
on a need-to-know basis.
319
00:27:38,921 --> 00:27:40,616
It's top secret!
320
00:27:40,756 --> 00:27:44,351
Now, gentlemen, let's away.
To the showers!
321
00:27:46,862 --> 00:27:48,489
Greetings, Your Majesty.
322
00:27:48,631 --> 00:27:50,189
This is your lucky day.
323
00:27:51,033 --> 00:27:53,126
What are you supposed to be?
324
00:27:53,269 --> 00:27:56,534
Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun
or something?
325
00:27:57,540 --> 00:28:01,032
Giant mutant... You made a funny.
326
00:28:01,544 --> 00:28:03,478
Unhand me, monster!
327
00:28:03,612 --> 00:28:05,580
Stop squirming, Arthur.
328
00:28:05,715 --> 00:28:08,047
I'm not Arthur.
329
00:28:10,052 --> 00:28:12,577
I am Lancelot.
330
00:28:12,722 --> 00:28:15,384
That dork over there is Arthur.
331
00:28:21,464 --> 00:28:23,659
This is, like, totally embarrassing...
332
00:28:23,799 --> 00:28:26,393
...but Tiffany thinkest
thou vex her so soothly.
333
00:28:26,535 --> 00:28:29,936
She thought perchance thou would
ask her to the Homecoming Dance.
334
00:28:30,072 --> 00:28:31,164
Excuse me?
335
00:28:31,307 --> 00:28:35,243
Like, whatever. She's into college guys
and mythical creatures.
336
00:28:38,681 --> 00:28:40,774
Oh, Arthur...
337
00:28:40,916 --> 00:28:44,613
...come out, come out, wherever you are!
338
00:28:46,655 --> 00:28:49,283
You better run,
you little punk no-goodniks!
339
00:28:49,425 --> 00:28:52,826
The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers
are over!
340
00:28:58,934 --> 00:29:00,265
Hold it.
341
00:29:00,936 --> 00:29:02,995
We're here for the mascot contest.
342
00:29:07,676 --> 00:29:10,873
We're here for the mascot contest, too.
343
00:29:11,013 --> 00:29:13,538
This is a costume?
344
00:29:13,682 --> 00:29:15,673
Worked on it all night long.
345
00:29:17,019 --> 00:29:18,816
Looks pretty real to me.
346
00:29:18,954 --> 00:29:21,354
If he were real, could I do this?
347
00:29:23,025 --> 00:29:24,686
Or this?
348
00:29:25,961 --> 00:29:30,830
If it were real, that would have been
agonizingly painful.
349
00:29:30,966 --> 00:29:34,163
- Now watch this!
- That's quite enough, boys.
350
00:29:34,303 --> 00:29:38,103
Thank you to Professor Primbottom
and his lecture...
351
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:39,639
...on "just say nay" .
352
00:29:40,576 --> 00:29:44,842
And now, without further ado, let's give
a warm Worcestershire hoozah...
353
00:29:44,980 --> 00:29:48,472
...to the winner
of our mascot contest, the...
354
00:29:49,652 --> 00:29:50,641
...ogre?
355
00:29:52,721 --> 00:29:55,019
That's right. I'm the new mascot.
356
00:29:55,157 --> 00:29:58,786
So let's really try and beat
the other guys at...
357
00:29:58,928 --> 00:30:02,056
...whatever it is they're doing!
358
00:30:05,601 --> 00:30:08,593
This is all a bit unorthodox...
359
00:30:08,737 --> 00:30:12,400
Where can I find Arthur Pendragon?
360
00:30:14,677 --> 00:30:16,167
Hey, wait...
361
00:30:20,282 --> 00:30:21,909
Olassic.
362
00:30:22,051 --> 00:30:23,746
You should be ashamed of yourself!
363
00:30:23,886 --> 00:30:26,286
I didn't do it. They did.
364
00:30:31,093 --> 00:30:32,822
Please don't eat me.
365
00:30:32,962 --> 00:30:35,294
Eat him! Eat him! Eat him!
366
00:30:36,298 --> 00:30:38,960
I'm not here to eat him!
367
00:30:40,436 --> 00:30:43,064
Time to pack up
your toothbrush and jammies.
368
00:30:43,205 --> 00:30:45,435
You're the new King of Far Far Away.
369
00:30:45,574 --> 00:30:47,235
What?
370
00:30:48,777 --> 00:30:52,975
Artie a king?
More like the Mayor of Loserville!
371
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:58,709
Burn.
372
00:31:02,324 --> 00:31:03,450
Is this for real?
373
00:31:03,592 --> 00:31:07,995
Absolutely. Olean out your locker, kid.
You have a kingdom to run.
374
00:31:08,130 --> 00:31:10,792
So, wait...l'm really the only heir?
375
00:31:12,134 --> 00:31:13,465
The one and only.
376
00:31:14,803 --> 00:31:16,464
Give me a second.
377
00:31:18,807 --> 00:31:20,468
My good people...
378
00:31:20,609 --> 00:31:23,339
...there's a lesson here for all of us.
379
00:31:23,479 --> 00:31:27,779
Next time you're about to dunk a kid's
head in a chamber pot, stop and think,
380
00:31:27,917 --> 00:31:30,408
" Hey, maybe this guy has feelings.
381
00:31:31,153 --> 00:31:33,519
Maybe I should cut him some slack.
382
00:31:33,656 --> 00:31:37,023
Cause maybe... just maybe...
383
00:31:37,159 --> 00:31:40,856
...this guy's gonna turn out to be,
I don't know, a king?
384
00:31:40,996 --> 00:31:46,024
Maybe his first royal decree will be to
banish everyone who ever picked on him."
385
00:31:46,168 --> 00:31:49,035
I'm looking at you, jousting team!
386
00:31:49,371 --> 00:31:52,568
And Guin? Oh, Guin.
387
00:31:53,442 --> 00:31:54,773
I've always loved you.
388
00:31:56,645 --> 00:31:59,205
Good friends, it breaks my heart, but...
389
00:31:59,348 --> 00:32:02,840
...enjoy your stay here in prison
while I rule the free world!
390
00:32:02,985 --> 00:32:04,577
Okay, let's not overdo it.
391
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,053
I'm building my city, people...
on rock 'n ' roll!
392
00:32:08,190 --> 00:32:10,055
You just overdid it.
393
00:32:19,201 --> 00:32:20,828
Look at you!
394
00:32:20,970 --> 00:32:22,494
You look darling.
395
00:32:22,638 --> 00:32:24,833
Just precious. Look at her.
396
00:32:24,974 --> 00:32:27,340
Any cravings since you got pregnant?
397
00:32:27,476 --> 00:32:30,104
No. Not at all.
398
00:32:30,946 --> 00:32:32,675
Do you smell ham?
399
00:32:32,815 --> 00:32:35,943
It's present time!
400
00:32:37,820 --> 00:32:41,881
Fiona, please open mine first.
It's the one in front.
401
00:32:42,024 --> 00:32:46,654
" Oongratulations on your new
mess mak..." Oh, mess maker!
402
00:32:46,795 --> 00:32:49,787
" Hopefully this helps.
Love, Oinderella."
403
00:32:51,133 --> 00:32:52,794
- Look at that!
- What is it?
404
00:32:54,370 --> 00:32:56,838
It's for the poopies.
405
00:32:56,972 --> 00:32:58,530
Wait... babies poop?
406
00:32:58,674 --> 00:33:00,005
Everyone poops, Beauty.
407
00:33:00,142 --> 00:33:01,609
Fiona!
408
00:33:01,744 --> 00:33:04,577
We all chipped in
for a little present, too.
409
00:33:05,481 --> 00:33:07,039
Ta-da!
410
00:33:08,250 --> 00:33:11,083
You know the baby will love it,
because I do!
411
00:33:11,220 --> 00:33:14,189
Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you.
412
00:33:14,323 --> 00:33:15,722
Who's this one from?
413
00:33:15,858 --> 00:33:18,793
I got you the biggest one,
because I love you most.
414
00:33:18,927 --> 00:33:21,987
" Have one on me. Love, Snow White."
415
00:33:24,833 --> 00:33:26,460
What is it?
416
00:33:26,602 --> 00:33:28,126
He's a live-in babysitter.
417
00:33:28,270 --> 00:33:29,362
Where's the baby?
418
00:33:29,505 --> 00:33:33,566
You're too kind, Snow,
but I can't accept this.
419
00:33:33,709 --> 00:33:36,075
It's nothing. I have six more at home.
420
00:33:36,211 --> 00:33:37,974
- What does he do?
- Oleaning.
421
00:33:38,113 --> 00:33:39,705
- Feeding.
- Burping.
422
00:33:39,848 --> 00:33:42,316
So, what are
Shrek and I supposed to do?
423
00:33:42,451 --> 00:33:44,578
Work on your marriage.
424
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:48,588
Thanks, Rapunzel.
What's that supposed to mean?
425
00:33:48,724 --> 00:33:52,751
Oome on now, Fiona.
You know what happens.
426
00:33:53,696 --> 00:33:55,721
You're tired all the time.
427
00:33:55,864 --> 00:33:57,593
You start letting yourself go.
428
00:33:57,733 --> 00:33:58,893
Stretch marks.
429
00:33:59,034 --> 00:34:00,365
Say goodbye to romance.
430
00:34:02,705 --> 00:34:06,141
I'm sorry, but how many
of you have kids?
431
00:34:06,275 --> 00:34:07,833
She's right!
432
00:34:07,976 --> 00:34:12,413
A baby will only strengthen the love
Shrek and Fiona have.
433
00:34:12,548 --> 00:34:15,381
How did Shrek react when you told him?
434
00:34:16,552 --> 00:34:19,715
When he first found out, Shrek said...
435
00:34:32,568 --> 00:34:36,902
Onward, my new friends!
To our happily ever afters!
436
00:34:42,578 --> 00:34:44,739
Now... bombs away!
437
00:35:01,263 --> 00:35:04,130
Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan.
438
00:35:04,266 --> 00:35:06,734
- His name's not Peter.
- Shut it, Wendy.
439
00:35:25,287 --> 00:35:28,950
Enough pillaging! To the castle!
440
00:35:47,309 --> 00:35:48,776
You go! Take care of the baby!
441
00:35:48,911 --> 00:35:52,074
Everybody stay calm! We're going to die!
442
00:35:56,485 --> 00:35:58,612
Everyone in! Now!
443
00:35:58,754 --> 00:36:00,881
Oome on! Put some back into it!
444
00:36:04,226 --> 00:36:05,716
We don't have time. Now go!
445
00:36:05,861 --> 00:36:07,658
Quickly, ladies!
446
00:36:09,932 --> 00:36:11,490
We'll hold them off as long as we can!
447
00:36:27,182 --> 00:36:29,582
Where are Shrek and Fiona?
448
00:36:29,718 --> 00:36:31,879
The name doesn't ring a bell.
449
00:36:32,020 --> 00:36:33,715
No bell.
450
00:36:33,856 --> 00:36:37,223
I suggest you freaks cooperate...
451
00:36:37,359 --> 00:36:39,953
...with the new King of Far Far Away!
452
00:36:40,095 --> 00:36:43,792
The only thing you're ever gonna
be king of is King of the Stupids!
453
00:36:43,932 --> 00:36:46,230
- Hook!
- Right!
454
00:36:46,368 --> 00:36:48,598
Avast, ye cookie.
455
00:36:51,206 --> 00:36:52,867
Start talking.
456
00:36:57,246 --> 00:36:58,736
- Gingy!
- Papa!
457
00:36:58,881 --> 00:37:00,246
Settle down now.
458
00:37:14,229 --> 00:37:17,528
On the good ship Lollipop
459
00:37:17,666 --> 00:37:21,102
It's a sweet trip to the candy shop
460
00:37:21,236 --> 00:37:22,225
You!
461
00:37:23,071 --> 00:37:25,266
You can't lie.
462
00:37:25,407 --> 00:37:29,070
So tell me, puppet... where is Shrek?
463
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,311
Well... I don't know where he's not.
464
00:37:35,450 --> 00:37:37,645
You don't know where Shrek is?
465
00:37:37,786 --> 00:37:40,380
It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume...
466
00:37:40,522 --> 00:37:44,788
...that I couldn't exactly not say that
is or isn't almost partially incorrect.
467
00:37:44,927 --> 00:37:46,292
So you do know where he is!
468
00:37:46,428 --> 00:37:48,953
On the contrary,
I'm possibly more or less
469
00:37:49,097 --> 00:37:51,327
not definitely rejecting the idea
470
00:37:51,466 --> 00:37:55,129
that in no way,
with any amount of uncertainty...
471
00:37:55,270 --> 00:37:56,259
Stop it!
472
00:37:56,405 --> 00:37:58,532
...I do not know where he shouldn't be.
473
00:37:58,674 --> 00:38:01,142
If that indeed wasn't where he isn't .
474
00:38:01,276 --> 00:38:04,871
Even if he wasn't not where
I knew he was, it could mean...
475
00:38:05,013 --> 00:38:07,243
On the good ship Lollipop
476
00:38:07,382 --> 00:38:11,785
Enough! Shrek went off
to bring back the next heir!
477
00:38:14,790 --> 00:38:16,587
He's bringing back the next heir?
478
00:38:16,725 --> 00:38:18,215
No!
479
00:38:19,461 --> 00:38:22,658
Hook! Get rid of this new " King" .
480
00:38:22,798 --> 00:38:24,663
But bring Shrek to me.
481
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:27,997
I have something special
in mind for him.
482
00:38:28,136 --> 00:38:30,297
He'll never fall for your tricks!
483
00:38:31,974 --> 00:38:33,635
Oh, boy.
484
00:38:43,485 --> 00:38:46,511
I can't believe it. Me, a king?
485
00:38:46,655 --> 00:38:49,681
I knew I came from royalty, but...
486
00:38:49,825 --> 00:38:51,918
...I figured everyone forgot about me.
487
00:38:52,060 --> 00:38:55,791
Oh, no. In fact the King
asked for you personally.
488
00:38:55,931 --> 00:38:58,491
Really? Wow.
489
00:38:59,835 --> 00:39:02,065
But I know it's not all fun and games.
490
00:39:02,204 --> 00:39:05,196
It really is
all fun and games, actually.
491
00:39:05,340 --> 00:39:08,935
Sure, you have to knight a few heroes,
launch a ship or two.
492
00:39:09,077 --> 00:39:13,411
By the way, make sure you hit the boat
just right with the bottle.
493
00:39:13,548 --> 00:39:16,346
Any idiot can hit a boat with a bottle.
494
00:39:17,185 --> 00:39:20,120
Well, I've heard
it's harder than it looks.
495
00:39:20,255 --> 00:39:22,223
This is going to be huge.
496
00:39:22,357 --> 00:39:27,226
Parties, princesses,
castles. Princesses.
497
00:39:27,362 --> 00:39:30,229
You'll be living in the lap of luxury.
498
00:39:30,365 --> 00:39:32,833
The finest chefs
will wait for your order.
499
00:39:32,968 --> 00:39:35,937
And fortunately,
you'll have the royal food tasters.
500
00:39:36,071 --> 00:39:37,766
What do they do?
501
00:39:37,906 --> 00:39:42,502
Taste the food before the King eats,
to make sure it's not poisoned.
502
00:39:42,644 --> 00:39:45,238
- Poisoned?
- Or too salty.
503
00:39:45,380 --> 00:39:48,907
Don't worry. Your bodyguards
will keep you safe.
504
00:39:49,051 --> 00:39:51,315
All of them willing
at a moment's notice
505
00:39:51,453 --> 00:39:54,286
to lay down their lives
out of devotion to you.
506
00:39:54,423 --> 00:39:55,856
Really?
507
00:39:55,991 --> 00:39:59,017
The whole kingdom will look
to you for wisdom and guidance.
508
00:39:59,394 --> 00:40:01,328
Make sure they don't die of famine!
509
00:40:01,463 --> 00:40:03,192
- Or plague.
- Plague is bad.
510
00:40:03,331 --> 00:40:06,232
The coughing, the groaning,
the festering sores.
511
00:40:07,803 --> 00:40:12,240
Festering sores!
You are one funny kitty cat.
512
00:40:12,908 --> 00:40:14,307
What did I say?
513
00:40:14,443 --> 00:40:16,809
We don't want Artie
getting the wrong idea.
514
00:40:17,579 --> 00:40:18,739
Artie?
515
00:40:23,018 --> 00:40:24,781
There goes my hip!
516
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,081
Artie! What are you doing?
517
00:40:29,024 --> 00:40:31,151
What does it look like?!
518
00:40:33,829 --> 00:40:36,297
This really isn't up to you.
519
00:40:36,431 --> 00:40:39,298
I don't know anything about being king!
520
00:40:39,434 --> 00:40:41,368
You'll learn on the job!
521
00:40:43,271 --> 00:40:45,796
Sorry, but I'm going back.
522
00:40:45,941 --> 00:40:48,375
Back to what? Being a loser?
523
00:40:51,947 --> 00:40:53,505
Now look what you did!
524
00:40:54,282 --> 00:40:58,116
Look what I did?
Who's holding the wheel, chief?
525
00:40:59,121 --> 00:41:00,611
Shrek!
526
00:41:12,968 --> 00:41:14,959
Land ho!
527
00:41:27,482 --> 00:41:29,313
How humiliating.
528
00:41:30,318 --> 00:41:33,253
Oh, nice going, Your Highness.
529
00:41:33,388 --> 00:41:37,085
Now it's "Your Highness" ?
What happened to " loser" ?
530
00:41:37,225 --> 00:41:40,126
If you think this is getting you
out of anything, it isn't .
531
00:41:40,262 --> 00:41:44,028
We're heading back to Far Far Away
one way or another...
532
00:41:44,166 --> 00:41:46,600
...and you're going to be a father!
533
00:41:46,735 --> 00:41:48,168
What?
534
00:41:49,004 --> 00:41:50,562
You just said "father" .
535
00:41:50,705 --> 00:41:53,435
King! You're going to be king!
536
00:41:53,575 --> 00:41:56,567
"You're going to be king!" Yeah, right.
537
00:41:57,779 --> 00:41:59,212
Where are you going?
538
00:41:59,347 --> 00:42:01,815
Far Far Away... from you!
539
00:42:01,950 --> 00:42:03,918
Get back here, young man!
540
00:42:05,887 --> 00:42:08,378
Boss? I don't think he's coming back.
541
00:42:08,523 --> 00:42:11,720
Maybe it's for the best.
He's not exactly king material.
542
00:42:11,860 --> 00:42:15,091
When did you plan to tell him
you were supposed to be king?
543
00:42:15,230 --> 00:42:18,063
Oome on. Why would I do that?
544
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:21,260
Besides, he'll be ten times
better at it than me.
545
00:42:21,403 --> 00:42:25,362
Then change your tactics
if you want to get anywhere with him.
546
00:42:27,709 --> 00:42:29,540
You're right, Donkey.
547
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:33,404
What about this?
548
00:42:33,548 --> 00:42:37,382
- Shrek!
- Oome on. It's just a joke.
549
00:42:38,954 --> 00:42:40,285
Still...
550
00:42:57,072 --> 00:42:58,733
Listen, Artie.
551
00:42:59,307 --> 00:43:04,438
If you think this whole mad scene
ain't dope, I feel you, dude.
552
00:43:04,579 --> 00:43:08,709
I'm not trying to get up in your grill
or raise your roof.
553
00:43:08,850 --> 00:43:10,977
But what I am screamin' is, yo...
554
00:43:11,119 --> 00:43:14,316
...check out this
kazing thazing, bazaby!
555
00:43:14,456 --> 00:43:16,549
If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying
556
00:43:16,691 --> 00:43:19,626
ain't straight trippin',
say, " Oh, no, you didn't !
557
00:43:19,761 --> 00:43:22,195
You're getting on my last nerve."
558
00:43:22,330 --> 00:43:25,322
And then I'll know it's ...
I'll know it's wack!
559
00:43:26,935 --> 00:43:28,129
Help!
560
00:43:28,270 --> 00:43:31,671
I've been kidnapped by a monster
who's trying to relate to me!
561
00:43:31,806 --> 00:43:35,435
- Artie, wait.
- Oome on! Help! Hello?
562
00:43:36,945 --> 00:43:40,642
Greetings, cosmic children
of the universe.
563
00:43:40,782 --> 00:43:42,716
Welcome to my serenity circle.
564
00:43:42,851 --> 00:43:46,981
Please leave any bad vibes
outside the healing vortex.
565
00:43:47,122 --> 00:43:48,953
Now prepare to...
566
00:43:54,629 --> 00:43:57,462
I knew I should have got that warranty!
567
00:44:00,368 --> 00:44:01,835
Mr. Merlin?
568
00:44:01,970 --> 00:44:03,437
You know this guy?
569
00:44:03,571 --> 00:44:07,837
Yeah. He was the school magic teacher,
until he had his nervous breakdown.
570
00:44:07,976 --> 00:44:11,343
Technically, I was merely a victim
of a level 3 fatigue.
571
00:44:11,479 --> 00:44:13,572
At the request of my therapist,
572
00:44:13,715 --> 00:44:17,344
and the school authorities, I retired
to the tranquility of nature
573
00:44:17,485 --> 00:44:19,646
to discover my divine purpose.
574
00:44:21,156 --> 00:44:24,557
Oan I interest anyone
in a snack or beverage?
575
00:44:24,693 --> 00:44:25,785
Uh, no.
576
00:44:25,927 --> 00:44:29,260
Sure you don't want to try
my Rock Au Gratin?
577
00:44:32,167 --> 00:44:33,634
It's organic.
578
00:44:33,768 --> 00:44:36,202
Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in.
579
00:44:36,338 --> 00:44:39,273
We need directions to Far Far Away.
580
00:44:39,407 --> 00:44:41,932
"We" ? Who said I was going with you?
581
00:44:42,077 --> 00:44:46,446
I did. People are counting on you,
so don't try to weasel out of it.
582
00:44:46,581 --> 00:44:48,640
If the job's so great, you do it.
583
00:44:49,184 --> 00:44:53,450
Understand this, kid. No more
Mr. Nice Guy from here on out.
584
00:44:53,588 --> 00:44:55,886
That was your Mr. Nice Guy?
585
00:44:56,024 --> 00:44:57,958
Yeah, and I'm going to miss him.
586
00:44:58,093 --> 00:45:02,496
Why don't you go terrorize a village
and leave me alone!
587
00:45:02,630 --> 00:45:07,158
Was that a crack about ogres? You get
your royal highness to Far Far Away...
588
00:45:07,302 --> 00:45:11,329
...before I kick it there!
Now, which way am I kicking?
589
00:45:11,473 --> 00:45:13,304
I could tell you, but since you're
590
00:45:13,441 --> 00:45:15,966
in the midst
of a self-destructive rage spiral,
591
00:45:16,111 --> 00:45:18,636
it would be karmically irresponsible.
592
00:45:18,780 --> 00:45:22,443
Self-destructive...?
Are you going to help us or not?
593
00:45:22,584 --> 00:45:25,178
Most definitely, but only after you
594
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:28,517
take the journey to your soul!
595
00:45:28,656 --> 00:45:30,021
I don't think so.
596
00:45:30,158 --> 00:45:33,992
It's either that
or primal scream therapy.
597
00:45:36,064 --> 00:45:38,726
All right. Journey to the soul.
598
00:45:39,567 --> 00:45:41,432
Now, all of you,
599
00:45:41,569 --> 00:45:44,094
look into the Fire of Truth
600
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,231
and tell me what you see.
601
00:45:50,078 --> 00:45:51,943
Ooh, charades!
602
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:56,847
Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte
with cinnamon swirls!
603
00:45:56,985 --> 00:45:59,579
Okay, monster... go for it.
604
00:46:08,263 --> 00:46:09,958
I see a rainbow pony.
605
00:46:10,098 --> 00:46:12,032
Excellent work! Now the boy.
606
00:46:12,167 --> 00:46:13,634
This is lame.
607
00:46:13,768 --> 00:46:16,032
You're lame! Now just go for it.
608
00:46:17,605 --> 00:46:18,936
Okay.
609
00:46:19,774 --> 00:46:24,211
There's a baby bird and a father bird
sitting in a nest.
610
00:46:24,345 --> 00:46:26,336
Yes! Stay with it!
611
00:46:27,182 --> 00:46:31,175
The dad just flew away. Why did
he leave the little bird all alone?
612
00:46:31,853 --> 00:46:35,289
It's trying to fly,
but it doesn't know how to.
613
00:46:36,191 --> 00:46:38,352
It's going to fall!
614
00:46:43,198 --> 00:46:47,191
Proper head case you are.
Really messed up.
615
00:46:50,538 --> 00:46:55,532
Okay, I get it. The bird's me.
My dad left. So what?
616
00:47:07,555 --> 00:47:10,217
Look, Artie, um...
617
00:47:14,562 --> 00:47:17,326
Just thought I'd help set the mood...
618
00:47:17,465 --> 00:47:20,798
...for your big heart-to-heart chat.
619
00:47:29,244 --> 00:47:32,577
I know what it's like
to not feel ready for something.
620
00:47:34,916 --> 00:47:37,248
Even ogres get scared.
621
00:47:38,086 --> 00:47:40,919
You know... once in a while.
622
00:47:42,924 --> 00:47:46,690
I know you want me
to be king, but I can't .
623
00:47:46,828 --> 00:47:49,695
I'm not cut out for it,
and I never will be.
624
00:47:50,598 --> 00:47:53,089
Even my own dad knew
I wasn't worth the trouble.
625
00:47:53,234 --> 00:47:56,431
He dumped me at that school
first chance he got...
626
00:47:57,105 --> 00:47:59,437
...and I never heard from him again.
627
00:48:01,109 --> 00:48:04,943
My dad wasn't really
the fatherly type, either.
628
00:48:05,446 --> 00:48:07,607
I doubt he was worse than mine.
629
00:48:08,449 --> 00:48:09,746
Oh, yeah?
630
00:48:09,884 --> 00:48:13,945
My father was an ogre.
He tried to eat me.
631
00:48:14,789 --> 00:48:16,984
I guess I should have realized it.
632
00:48:17,125 --> 00:48:21,391
He bathed me in barbecue sauce and
put me to bed with an apple in my mouth.
633
00:48:23,298 --> 00:48:25,789
I guess that's pretty bad.
634
00:48:28,136 --> 00:48:30,331
It may be hard to believe,
635
00:48:30,471 --> 00:48:33,929
what, with my obvious charm
and good looks,
636
00:48:34,075 --> 00:48:37,010
but people used
to think I was a monster.
637
00:48:37,145 --> 00:48:40,808
And for a long time, I believed them.
638
00:48:42,817 --> 00:48:44,409
But after a while,
639
00:48:44,552 --> 00:48:48,079
you learn to ignore
the names people call you
640
00:48:48,223 --> 00:48:50,555
and just trust who you are.
641
00:48:52,660 --> 00:48:55,823
You know... you're okay, Shrek.
642
00:48:56,664 --> 00:49:00,225
You just need to do a little less
yelling and use a little more soap.
643
00:49:01,569 --> 00:49:03,196
Thanks, Artie.
644
00:49:03,338 --> 00:49:07,001
The soap's because
you stink... really bad.
645
00:49:08,176 --> 00:49:10,667
Yeah... I got that.
646
00:49:14,682 --> 00:49:17,549
This place is filthy!
647
00:49:17,852 --> 00:49:19,444
I feel like a hobo.
648
00:49:20,688 --> 00:49:23,452
I'm sorry, but this
isn't working for me.
649
00:49:23,591 --> 00:49:28,153
Everything's always about you.
It's not like your attitude is helping.
650
00:49:28,296 --> 00:49:31,993
Maybe itjust bothers you
I was voted fairest in the land.
651
00:49:32,133 --> 00:49:34,226
You mean in that rigged election?
652
00:49:34,369 --> 00:49:37,338
Give me a break. " Rapunzel, Rapunzel...
653
00:49:37,472 --> 00:49:40,600
...let down thy golden extensions!"
654
00:49:40,742 --> 00:49:45,543
Ladies, let go of your petty complaints
and let's work together!
655
00:49:48,516 --> 00:49:51,508
So I guess the plan is
we just wander aimlessly
656
00:49:51,653 --> 00:49:53,746
in this stinkhole until we rot.
657
00:49:53,888 --> 00:49:57,415
No, we get inside and find out
what Oharming's up to.
658
00:49:57,558 --> 00:50:00,254
I know he's a jerk and everything,
659
00:50:00,395 --> 00:50:04,559
but that Oharming
makes me hotter than July.
660
00:50:05,900 --> 00:50:07,231
That's it!
661
00:50:35,263 --> 00:50:37,629
Oome on! This way!
662
00:50:37,765 --> 00:50:38,754
Rapunzel, wait!
663
00:50:48,276 --> 00:50:50,107
Oharming, let go of her.
664
00:50:50,244 --> 00:50:52,872
But why would I want to do that?
665
00:50:58,419 --> 00:50:59,408
What?
666
00:50:59,554 --> 00:51:04,651
Say hello, ladies,
to the new Queen of Far Far Away.
667
00:51:08,663 --> 00:51:10,460
Rapunzel, how could you?
668
00:51:10,598 --> 00:51:12,862
Jealous much?
669
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:15,434
Soon you'll be back
where you started,
670
00:51:15,570 --> 00:51:18,198
scrubbing floors
or locked away in towers.
671
00:51:18,339 --> 00:51:21,968
That is, if I let you last the week.
672
00:51:24,278 --> 00:51:26,872
Pookie, you promised not to hurt them.
673
00:51:27,014 --> 00:51:31,007
Not here, kitten whiskers.
Daddy will discuss it later.
674
00:51:31,753 --> 00:51:34,278
Now forgive us.
We have a show to put on.
675
00:51:34,422 --> 00:51:37,687
Shrek will be back soon,
and you'll be sorry.
676
00:51:37,825 --> 00:51:39,224
Sorry?!
677
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:43,626
Don't you realize once Shrek
sets foot in Far Far Away...
678
00:51:43,765 --> 00:51:45,528
...he's doomed?
679
00:52:25,072 --> 00:52:26,699
Look out! They got a piano!
680
00:52:26,841 --> 00:52:30,208
Kill them all... except the fat one.
681
00:52:30,344 --> 00:52:34,713
King Oharming has something special
in mind for you, ogre.
682
00:52:34,849 --> 00:52:36,146
King Oharming?
683
00:52:36,284 --> 00:52:37,308
Attack!
684
00:52:43,591 --> 00:52:44,751
Artie, duck!
685
00:52:59,307 --> 00:53:00,569
Ready the plank!
686
00:53:16,290 --> 00:53:17,951
- Shrek!
- Help!
687
00:53:37,278 --> 00:53:38,575
Oowards!
688
00:53:38,713 --> 00:53:41,079
What has Oharming done with Fiona?
689
00:53:41,215 --> 00:53:43,809
She's going to get what's coming to her.
690
00:53:44,385 --> 00:53:49,288
And there ain't nothing
you can do to stop him!
691
00:53:49,423 --> 00:53:51,948
- We've got to save her.
- But she's so far far away!
692
00:53:52,894 --> 00:53:55,192
Get yourself back
to Worcestershire, kid.
693
00:53:55,329 --> 00:53:58,821
No, Shrek. Hold on. I've got an idea.
694
00:53:58,966 --> 00:54:01,230
I am a buzzing bee.
695
00:54:01,903 --> 00:54:05,100
Mr. Merlin?
They need a spell to get them...
696
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:08,265
...I mean us, back to Far Far Away.
697
00:54:08,409 --> 00:54:11,845
Forget it. I don't have that kind
of magic in me anymore.
698
00:54:11,979 --> 00:54:15,676
How about a hug?
That's the best kind of magic.
699
00:54:15,816 --> 00:54:18,182
Please. I know you can do it.
700
00:54:18,319 --> 00:54:20,116
I said forget it!
701
00:54:20,254 --> 00:54:21,585
But...
702
00:54:28,996 --> 00:54:30,588
What's with you?
703
00:54:31,933 --> 00:54:35,096
It's just so hard, you know?
704
00:54:35,770 --> 00:54:39,900
They need to get back,
cause their kingdom's in trouble.
705
00:54:40,041 --> 00:54:42,566
Cause there's a really bad man.
706
00:54:42,710 --> 00:54:44,473
It's just so hard!
707
00:54:44,612 --> 00:54:46,739
Take it easy.
708
00:54:46,881 --> 00:54:50,248
No! I don't think you understand!
709
00:54:50,384 --> 00:54:54,912
There's a mean person doing
mean things to good people.
710
00:54:55,056 --> 00:54:56,751
Have a heart, old man.
711
00:54:56,891 --> 00:55:01,055
They really need your help to get back.
Why won't you help them?!
712
00:55:04,899 --> 00:55:06,491
Okay.
713
00:55:06,634 --> 00:55:08,625
I'll go get my things.
714
00:55:11,405 --> 00:55:12,599
Piece of cake.
715
00:55:12,740 --> 00:55:16,267
Well, well. You want eggs with that ham?
716
00:55:16,410 --> 00:55:20,107
I am a little rusty, so there
could be some side effects.
717
00:55:20,247 --> 00:55:21,714
- Side effects?
- Don't worry.
718
00:55:21,849 --> 00:55:25,615
Whatever it is, no matter
how excruciatingly painful,
719
00:55:25,753 --> 00:55:28,916
it will wear off eventually. I think.
720
00:55:30,891 --> 00:55:33,121
- Oops.
- You sure about this?
721
00:55:33,260 --> 00:55:37,390
If Artie trusts him,
that's good enough for me.
722
00:55:37,531 --> 00:55:39,396
Even if his robe doesn't cover...
723
00:55:39,533 --> 00:55:42,058
Alacritious expeditious...
724
00:55:42,203 --> 00:55:44,899
...a-zoomy-zoom-zoom!
725
00:55:45,039 --> 00:55:47,872
Let's help our friends get back...
726
00:55:50,611 --> 00:55:51,942
...soon!
727
00:55:59,286 --> 00:56:00,878
It worked!
728
00:56:09,597 --> 00:56:12,623
I haven't been on a trip
like that since college!
729
00:56:13,067 --> 00:56:14,329
Donkey?
730
00:56:14,468 --> 00:56:17,301
What? Is something in my teeth?
731
00:56:19,740 --> 00:56:24,734
Oh, no! I've been abracadabra-ed into
a Fancy Feastin', second-rate sidekick!
732
00:56:27,081 --> 00:56:31,142
At least you don't look
like some kind of bloated pi�ata!
733
00:56:31,285 --> 00:56:33,344
You should think about going on a diet!
734
00:56:33,487 --> 00:56:38,083
You should get yourself a pair of pants.
I feel all exposed and nasty!
735
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:42,092
So you two think this is funny?
736
00:56:44,598 --> 00:56:46,395
I'm really sorry, guys.
737
00:56:46,534 --> 00:56:49,002
Don't be. You got us back, kid.
738
00:56:54,675 --> 00:56:56,802
How in the Hans Ohristian Andersen
739
00:56:56,944 --> 00:56:59,708
am I supposed to parade around
in these goofy boots?
740
00:56:59,847 --> 00:57:02,680
Hey, hey, hey!
Be very careful with those.
741
00:57:04,118 --> 00:57:07,451
They were made in Madrid
by the finest...
742
00:57:08,122 --> 00:57:10,113
You'll learn to control that.
743
00:57:13,027 --> 00:57:18,021
Seriously. Ow! You need some comfort
inserts or arch supports or something.
744
00:57:24,205 --> 00:57:29,074
Watch it. I'm walking here
and I'm gonna keep going until...
745
00:57:29,210 --> 00:57:30,302
Pinocchio!
746
00:57:31,045 --> 00:57:33,070
Shrek! Help me!
747
00:57:33,214 --> 00:57:36,411
- What happened?
- Oharming and the villains took over!
748
00:57:36,550 --> 00:57:40,316
Fiona and the Princesses got away.
Now she's ...
749
00:57:40,454 --> 00:57:41,978
She's what?! What?!
750
00:57:44,325 --> 00:57:46,156
Puss! Loan me five bucks.
751
00:57:46,293 --> 00:57:48,523
You heard him. Help the brother out.
752
00:57:48,662 --> 00:57:50,755
Do you see any pockets on me?
753
00:57:50,898 --> 00:57:52,729
Hold on a second.
754
00:57:55,236 --> 00:57:59,400
I had no idea, really. I... I swear.
755
00:58:00,574 --> 00:58:02,769
Quick! Where is Fiona?
756
00:58:02,910 --> 00:58:06,676
Oharming has her locked away
someplace. You have to find him!
757
00:58:06,814 --> 00:58:09,681
He's probably getting ready
for the show!
758
00:58:09,817 --> 00:58:12,149
Wait, Pinocchio! What show?
759
00:58:17,158 --> 00:58:19,558
" It's a Happily Ever After After All" .
760
00:58:19,693 --> 00:58:22,025
" Shrek's final performance" ?
761
00:58:22,163 --> 00:58:26,293
Shrek! You didn't tell us
you were in a play!
762
00:58:26,433 --> 00:58:29,891
I guess I've been so busy
I forgot to mention it.
763
00:58:30,037 --> 00:58:31,595
The ogre! Get him!
764
00:58:32,940 --> 00:58:35,272
Don't worry, jefe. I got this.
765
00:58:41,816 --> 00:58:43,443
Uck! Kill it!
766
00:58:44,451 --> 00:58:49,582
Look. Don't you know who
he thinks he is? How dare you!
767
00:58:49,723 --> 00:58:51,247
We're dealing with amateurs.
768
00:58:51,392 --> 00:58:56,329
He's a star, people! Hello?
I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek.
769
00:58:56,463 --> 00:58:57,987
I'm going to lose it!
770
00:58:58,132 --> 00:59:01,932
Is everything ready? You did get
the list for the dressing room?
771
00:59:02,069 --> 00:59:05,163
Breakfast croissant stuffed
with seared sashimi tuna.
772
00:59:05,306 --> 00:59:08,605
And I hope you have the saffron corn
with jalapeno honey butter.
773
00:59:08,742 --> 00:59:11,734
Our client cannot get
into his proper emotional state
774
00:59:11,879 --> 00:59:13,676
withoutjalapeno honey butter!
775
00:59:13,814 --> 00:59:15,213
I just lost it.
776
00:59:15,983 --> 00:59:18,508
They should talk to Nancy
in Human Resources.
777
00:59:18,652 --> 00:59:22,144
Oh, we will have much to say
to Nancy, I promise!
778
00:59:23,824 --> 00:59:27,521
"With this sword, I do..." No. "With..."
779
00:59:27,661 --> 00:59:31,324
"With this sword, I do smote thee!"
780
00:59:32,233 --> 00:59:34,701
Is " smote" the right word? " Smoot" ?
781
00:59:34,835 --> 00:59:36,700
I don't think that's a word.
782
00:59:36,837 --> 00:59:41,171
Maybe I should just " smite" him.
Let's try this again. Now...
783
00:59:42,343 --> 00:59:45,506
Shrek attacks me.
I pretend to be afraid.
784
00:59:46,247 --> 00:59:50,650
" Now the kingdom will get the happily
ever after they deserve. Die, ogre!"
785
00:59:50,784 --> 00:59:54,447
Blah, blah, blah. Oh,
itjust doesn't feel real enough!
786
00:59:56,357 --> 00:59:58,382
Who told you to stop dancing?!
787
00:59:58,525 --> 00:59:59,992
Wink and turn.
788
01:00:00,127 --> 01:00:03,358
What are you laying around for?
Get up! Honestly!
789
01:00:12,039 --> 01:00:15,236
Our happily ever after
is nearly complete, Mummy.
790
01:00:15,376 --> 01:00:17,571
And I assure you...
791
01:00:17,711 --> 01:00:22,705
...the people of this kingdom
will pay dearly for every second...
792
01:00:23,884 --> 01:00:25,545
...we've had to wait.
793
01:00:27,154 --> 01:00:28,587
Break a leg.
794
01:00:28,722 --> 01:00:31,486
On second thought,
let me break it for you.
795
01:00:31,625 --> 01:00:35,925
Thank goodness. I was afraid
you wouldn't get back in time.
796
01:00:36,063 --> 01:00:37,690
Where's Fiona?
797
01:00:37,831 --> 01:00:42,063
Don't worry. She and the others
are safe... for now.
798
01:00:51,245 --> 01:00:54,578
Let me guess. Arthur.
799
01:00:55,249 --> 01:00:57,274
It's Artie, actually.
800
01:00:57,418 --> 01:01:02,412
This boy is supposed to be
the new King of Far Far Away?
801
01:01:04,325 --> 01:01:05,622
How pathetic.
802
01:01:05,759 --> 01:01:08,626
Stand still, so I won't make a mess.
803
01:01:08,762 --> 01:01:12,198
Oharming, stop! I'm here now.
You got what you wanted.
804
01:01:12,333 --> 01:01:13,994
This isn't about him.
805
01:01:14,768 --> 01:01:19,102
Then who's it about?
I'm supposed to be king, right?
806
01:01:20,441 --> 01:01:24,810
You weren't really next in line
for the throne.
807
01:01:24,945 --> 01:01:26,344
I was.
808
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:29,813
But you said the King
asked for me personally.
809
01:01:29,950 --> 01:01:31,781
Not exactly.
810
01:01:31,919 --> 01:01:33,352
What does that mean?
811
01:01:33,487 --> 01:01:35,978
I said whatever I had to say, all right?
812
01:01:36,123 --> 01:01:39,820
I wasn't right for the job,
so I needed some fool to replace me.
813
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:43,623
And you fit the bill. So just go!
814
01:01:46,700 --> 01:01:48,759
You were playing me the whole time.
815
01:01:48,902 --> 01:01:50,665
You catch on real fast, kid.
816
01:01:50,804 --> 01:01:53,898
Maybe you're not
as big of a loser as I thought.
817
01:02:00,314 --> 01:02:02,680
You know, for a minute...
818
01:02:02,816 --> 01:02:04,716
- ...I actually thought...
- What?
819
01:02:04,852 --> 01:02:08,344
That he cared about you? He's an ogre.
820
01:02:08,489 --> 01:02:10,320
What did you expect?
821
01:02:20,300 --> 01:02:24,327
You really do have a way
with children, Shrek.
822
01:02:36,683 --> 01:02:40,483
Leave me out with the waste
823
01:02:40,621 --> 01:02:43,556
This is not what I do
824
01:02:43,690 --> 01:02:47,387
It's the wrong time
825
01:02:47,528 --> 01:02:50,224
She's pulling me through
826
01:02:50,364 --> 01:02:54,061
It's a small crime
827
01:02:54,201 --> 01:02:56,829
And I got no excuse
828
01:02:56,970 --> 01:02:59,370
And is that all right, yeah?
829
01:03:00,841 --> 01:03:02,866
Is that all right with you?
830
01:03:03,710 --> 01:03:08,044
Is that all right, yeah?
831
01:03:08,549 --> 01:03:12,542
If I give my gun away when it's loaded?
832
01:03:14,721 --> 01:03:19,385
If you don't shoot it
how am I supposed to hold it?
833
01:03:22,563 --> 01:03:25,430
Is that all right?
Is that all right?
834
01:03:25,566 --> 01:03:29,002
Is that all right with you?
835
01:03:29,136 --> 01:03:30,001
No.
836
01:03:30,337 --> 01:03:32,168
Had we stayed put like I suggested,
837
01:03:32,306 --> 01:03:35,104
we'd be sipping tea
out of little heart-shaped cups.
838
01:03:35,242 --> 01:03:36,766
Yeah, heart-shaped cups.
839
01:03:36,910 --> 01:03:39,538
And eating crumpets
smothered with loganberries.
840
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:41,272
Yeah, loganberries.
841
01:03:41,415 --> 01:03:43,280
- Shut up, Oindy.
- Yeah, shut up.
842
01:03:43,417 --> 01:03:46,284
- No, you shut up.
- Stay out of this.
843
01:03:46,420 --> 01:03:49,218
Who cares who's " running the kingdom" ?
844
01:03:49,356 --> 01:03:52,587
- I care.
- You should all care.
845
01:03:56,563 --> 01:03:59,464
I have your badge number, tin can!
846
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:01,465
- Donkey?
- Princess!
847
01:04:01,602 --> 01:04:02,591
Puss?
848
01:04:02,736 --> 01:04:06,797
I am Puss, stuck here
inside this hideous body.
849
01:04:06,940 --> 01:04:07,964
And I'm me!
850
01:04:08,108 --> 01:04:09,234
But you're...
851
01:04:09,376 --> 01:04:12,038
Everything's fruity in the loops,
but what happened is
852
01:04:12,179 --> 01:04:14,147
we went to high school,
the boat crashed
853
01:04:14,281 --> 01:04:16,841
and we got bippity-boppity-booped
by the magic man.
854
01:04:16,984 --> 01:04:19,179
You poor sweet things.
855
01:04:19,319 --> 01:04:20,718
I don't get it.
856
01:04:20,854 --> 01:04:24,585
The cat turned into a little horse
that smells like feet. What's to get?
857
01:04:24,725 --> 01:04:26,090
Who dat?
858
01:04:26,226 --> 01:04:27,250
Where's Shrek?
859
01:04:27,394 --> 01:04:31,387
Oharming has him. He plans to kill Shrek
tonight in front of the whole kingdom!
860
01:04:32,799 --> 01:04:36,963
All right, everyone.
We need to find a way out now.
861
01:04:37,104 --> 01:04:40,631
You're right.
Ladies, assume the position!
862
01:04:45,512 --> 01:04:46,706
What are you doing?
863
01:04:47,481 --> 01:04:48,846
Waiting to be rescued.
864
01:04:48,982 --> 01:04:50,950
You've got to be kidding me.
865
01:04:51,084 --> 01:04:53,848
What else can we do? We're just four...
866
01:04:53,987 --> 01:04:57,286
...I mean three, super-hot princesses...
867
01:04:57,424 --> 01:05:01,485
...two circus freaks, a pregnant ogre
and an old lady!
868
01:05:02,329 --> 01:05:06,663
Excuse me. Old lady coming through.
869
01:05:15,275 --> 01:05:17,072
Mom!
870
01:05:17,211 --> 01:05:21,477
You didn't think you got your fighting
skills from your father, did you?
871
01:05:21,615 --> 01:05:24,345
Excuse me. There's still one more.
872
01:05:34,528 --> 01:05:36,860
Why don't you just lie down?
873
01:05:39,533 --> 01:05:42,400
Okay, girls, from here on out...
874
01:05:42,536 --> 01:05:45,004
...we take care of business ourselves.
875
01:06:02,055 --> 01:06:06,583
The Far Far Away Theatre at the
Charming Pavilion is proud to present...
876
01:06:06,727 --> 01:06:08,490
..."It's A Happily Ever After
After AII."
877
01:06:08,629 --> 01:06:11,928
Enjoy your evening
of theatrical reverie, citizen.
878
01:06:12,065 --> 01:06:15,398
Oi! No food or beverages in the theater!
879
01:06:29,249 --> 01:06:30,614
Places, everyone!
880
01:06:35,756 --> 01:06:36,882
Easy!
881
01:06:37,024 --> 01:06:40,926
Sorry. I was showing off
for the little one.
882
01:06:41,662 --> 01:06:45,257
It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day.
Oome here, beautiful.
883
01:06:48,435 --> 01:06:51,427
Well, she's got your eye.
884
01:06:52,673 --> 01:06:57,610
Who would have thought a monster like
me deserved something as special as you?
885
01:07:39,286 --> 01:07:42,312
Little birdies, take wing
886
01:07:43,156 --> 01:07:45,784
Flitting down from the trees they appear
887
01:07:45,926 --> 01:07:48,394
And to chirp in my ear
888
01:07:49,663 --> 01:07:52,655
All because I sing
889
01:08:22,295 --> 01:08:23,353
Move it! Go!
890
01:08:29,970 --> 01:08:31,699
My babies!
891
01:08:32,706 --> 01:08:33,695
Help!
892
01:09:19,252 --> 01:09:21,243
Hey, how's it goin'
893
01:09:31,932 --> 01:09:33,866
O to the K. The coast is clear.
894
01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,628
Let's do this. Go, Team Dynamite!
895
01:09:36,770 --> 01:09:40,604
I thought we agreed to use the name
Team Super Oool.
896
01:09:40,740 --> 01:09:42,970
I recall it was Team Awesome.
897
01:09:43,109 --> 01:09:45,043
I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron.
898
01:09:45,178 --> 01:09:47,146
Okay! From henceforth,
899
01:09:47,280 --> 01:09:51,410
we will be Team Alpha Super Awesome
Oool Dynamite Wolf Squadron.
900
01:09:51,551 --> 01:09:55,783
Ach de liebe! There is some strange
little girl over there staring at us!
901
01:09:56,723 --> 01:09:58,088
Artie!
902
01:09:58,225 --> 01:09:59,590
Wait, wait!
903
01:09:59,726 --> 01:10:01,921
Where is the fire, se�or?
904
01:10:02,062 --> 01:10:04,087
Please. Don't act so innocent.
905
01:10:04,231 --> 01:10:07,997
You both knew what was going on
and kept it to yourselves.
906
01:10:08,134 --> 01:10:09,726
It's not like it seems.
907
01:10:09,870 --> 01:10:12,703
It's not? I think it seems pretty clear.
908
01:10:12,839 --> 01:10:15,364
He was using me. That's all.
909
01:10:15,509 --> 01:10:17,943
Using you? You really don't get it.
910
01:10:18,078 --> 01:10:21,070
Shrek only said
those things to protect you.
911
01:10:21,748 --> 01:10:26,412
Oharming was going to kill you, Artie!
Shrek saved your life.
912
01:10:36,997 --> 01:10:38,589
Oue the spot!
913
01:10:42,435 --> 01:10:44,960
I wait alone up here
914
01:10:45,105 --> 01:10:47,801
I'm trapped another day
915
01:10:47,941 --> 01:10:51,138
Locked up here, please set me free
916
01:10:51,278 --> 01:10:54,304
My new life I almost see
917
01:10:54,447 --> 01:10:57,143
A castle, you and me
918
01:10:57,284 --> 01:11:02,381
Yes, a castle, you and me
919
01:11:04,457 --> 01:11:05,515
Oherubs!
920
01:11:09,462 --> 01:11:13,262
Tis I, Tis I
Upon my regal steed
921
01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:15,027
Princess, my love
922
01:11:15,168 --> 01:11:17,932
At last you shall be freed
I'm strong
923
01:11:18,071 --> 01:11:20,039
And brave
And dashing my way there
924
01:11:20,473 --> 01:11:26,139
With speed! With might!
With soft and bouncy hair!
925
01:11:27,113 --> 01:11:30,879
- Through the blistering desert
- Hot!
926
01:11:31,017 --> 01:11:34,043
- Across the stormiest sea
- Wet!
927
01:11:34,187 --> 01:11:36,178
Facing creatures so vile
928
01:11:36,323 --> 01:11:37,449
Foul!
929
01:11:37,591 --> 01:11:41,721
So you can gaze upon me!
930
01:11:43,029 --> 01:11:45,361
I knew you'd come for me
931
01:11:45,498 --> 01:11:49,332
And now we finally meet
932
01:11:49,469 --> 01:11:50,936
I knew you'd wait
933
01:11:51,071 --> 01:11:55,599
And from my plate of love you'd eat
934
01:12:15,528 --> 01:12:18,861
Who is this terribly ugly fiend
Who so rudely intervened?
935
01:12:18,999 --> 01:12:20,830
Will Charming fight or flee?
936
01:12:20,967 --> 01:12:22,025
Please rescue me!
937
01:12:22,168 --> 01:12:23,863
From this monstrosity!
938
01:12:24,004 --> 01:12:29,032
Fear thee not, honey lamb!
I will slice this thing up like a ham!
939
01:12:30,210 --> 01:12:31,677
Oh, boy.
940
01:12:31,811 --> 01:12:35,406
You are about to enter a world of pain
941
01:12:35,548 --> 01:12:39,882
With which you are not familiar!
942
01:12:43,323 --> 01:12:47,726
It can't be any more painful
than your lousy performance.
943
01:12:51,398 --> 01:12:53,389
" Prepare, foul beast."
944
01:12:55,502 --> 01:12:58,767
Prepare, foul beast, your time is done!
945
01:12:58,905 --> 01:13:02,068
Oould you kill me and then sing?
946
01:13:03,576 --> 01:13:05,271
Be quiet!
947
01:13:05,412 --> 01:13:09,542
I'm just having fun with you.
That's actually a very nice leotard.
948
01:13:09,683 --> 01:13:10,945
Thank you.
949
01:13:11,084 --> 01:13:13,177
Do they come in men's sizes?
950
01:13:16,256 --> 01:13:17,985
Now that be funny!
951
01:13:18,124 --> 01:13:20,092
Enough!
952
01:13:22,495 --> 01:13:26,295
Now you'll finally
know what it's like...
953
01:13:26,433 --> 01:13:29,960
...to have everything you worked for...
954
01:13:30,103 --> 01:13:34,130
...everything that's precious to you,
taken away.
955
01:13:34,274 --> 01:13:37,607
Now you'll know how I felt.
956
01:13:44,951 --> 01:13:46,612
Sausage roll!
957
01:14:03,970 --> 01:14:06,495
Pray for mercy from Puss!
958
01:14:06,639 --> 01:14:08,129
And Donkey!
959
01:14:08,341 --> 01:14:09,399
D
960
01:14:20,420 --> 01:14:21,682
Hi, honey.
961
01:14:21,821 --> 01:14:24,847
Sorry we're late. You okay?
962
01:14:24,991 --> 01:14:27,323
Much better, now that you're here.
963
01:14:29,996 --> 01:14:35,195
So, Oharming, you want to let me out of
these so we can settle this ogre-to-man?
964
01:14:35,335 --> 01:14:39,669
Ooh, that sounds fun.
But I have a better idea.
965
01:14:55,522 --> 01:14:57,922
No! Let go of me!
966
01:14:58,057 --> 01:15:02,187
You will not ruin things
this time, ogre. Kill it.
967
01:15:06,032 --> 01:15:07,795
Everybody, stop!
968
01:15:09,636 --> 01:15:11,729
Oh, what is it now?!
969
01:15:11,871 --> 01:15:13,133
Artie?
970
01:15:22,816 --> 01:15:25,284
Who thinks we need
to settle things this way?
971
01:15:29,556 --> 01:15:33,253
You mean you want to be villains
your whole lives?
972
01:15:33,393 --> 01:15:37,193
But we are villains!
It's the only thing we know.
973
01:15:37,330 --> 01:15:39,764
You never wish
you could be something else?
974
01:15:39,899 --> 01:15:43,357
Easy for you to say. You're not
some evil enchanted tree.
975
01:15:43,503 --> 01:15:46,267
You morons! Don't listen to him! Attack!
976
01:15:46,406 --> 01:15:49,204
What Steve means is
it's hard to come by honest work
977
01:15:49,342 --> 01:15:51,367
when the whole world's against you.
978
01:15:51,511 --> 01:15:53,240
Right. Thanks, Ed.
979
01:15:53,379 --> 01:15:57,782
Fair enough. You're right.
I'm not a talking tree.
980
01:15:57,917 --> 01:15:59,009
But you know...
981
01:15:59,152 --> 01:16:02,280
...a good friend once told me...
982
01:16:02,422 --> 01:16:07,450
...just because people treat you
like a villain, or an ogre...
983
01:16:07,594 --> 01:16:09,585
...orjust some loser...
984
01:16:11,097 --> 01:16:12,997
...doesn't mean you are one.
985
01:16:15,869 --> 01:16:19,737
What matters most
is what you think of yourself.
986
01:16:19,873 --> 01:16:24,173
If there's something you really want,
or someone you want to be...
987
01:16:24,310 --> 01:16:27,939
...the only person standing
in your way is you.
988
01:16:28,448 --> 01:16:30,211
- Me?
- Get him!
989
01:16:30,350 --> 01:16:31,749
No, no, no!
990
01:16:31,885 --> 01:16:34,820
What I mean is each of you...
991
01:16:34,954 --> 01:16:37,218
...is standing in your own way.
992
01:16:41,127 --> 01:16:43,618
I always wanted to play the flute.
993
01:16:43,763 --> 01:16:47,426
I'd like to open up a spa... in France!
994
01:16:47,567 --> 01:16:52,129
I grow daffodils. And they're beautiful.
995
01:17:40,853 --> 01:17:44,016
A new era finally begins!
996
01:17:45,858 --> 01:17:47,519
Now all of you...
997
01:17:48,361 --> 01:17:50,761
...bow before your King!
998
01:17:57,203 --> 01:17:59,535
You need to work on your aim.
999
01:18:01,874 --> 01:18:04,741
This was supposed to be
my happily ever after!
1000
01:18:04,877 --> 01:18:07,368
Well, you need to keep looking...
1001
01:18:09,382 --> 01:18:11,441
...because I'm not giving up mine.
1002
01:18:16,723 --> 01:18:17,883
Mommy?
1003
01:18:29,235 --> 01:18:31,396
It's yours if you want it.
1004
01:18:32,071 --> 01:18:34,403
But this time it's your choice.
1005
01:18:57,096 --> 01:18:58,120
Author!
1006
01:18:58,264 --> 01:19:01,597
Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie!
1007
01:19:05,938 --> 01:19:08,930
Excuse me. That's my seat.
1008
01:19:09,942 --> 01:19:14,709
Okay, Se�or Hocusy-Pocusy, the time
has come to rectify some wrongs!
1009
01:19:14,847 --> 01:19:17,372
Though I have been enjoying
these cat baths.
1010
01:19:17,517 --> 01:19:19,007
Please say you didn't .
1011
01:19:19,152 --> 01:19:21,052
All right! Look.
1012
01:19:21,187 --> 01:19:24,486
You'll feel a pinch and possibly
lower intestinal discomfort...
1013
01:19:24,624 --> 01:19:26,956
...but this should do the trick.
1014
01:19:31,197 --> 01:19:33,665
- Are you...?
- I'm me again!
1015
01:19:33,800 --> 01:19:36,064
- And I am not you!
- All right!
1016
01:19:37,637 --> 01:19:38,797
Oops.
1017
01:19:40,807 --> 01:19:42,206
Ah, never mind.
1018
01:19:46,212 --> 01:19:50,273
What did I tell you?
The kid's going to be a great king.
1019
01:19:50,416 --> 01:19:53,977
Well, for what it's worth,
you would have, too.
1020
01:19:55,488 --> 01:19:58,480
I have something
much more important in mind.
1021
01:20:24,016 --> 01:20:25,244
Finally.
1022
01:20:32,024 --> 01:20:33,355
Dada.
1023
01:20:35,461 --> 01:20:39,830
Was I wrong about the world?
It's a beautiful new place
1024
01:20:39,966 --> 01:20:42,457
I smell Shrek Junior!
1025
01:20:42,602 --> 01:20:45,264
Where else could a creep like me
1026
01:20:45,404 --> 01:20:48,134
Meet such a pretty face
1027
01:20:48,274 --> 01:20:52,210
Meeting every day with the rising sun
1028
01:20:55,014 --> 01:20:57,915
Looking up, it's looking like
1029
01:20:58,050 --> 01:21:00,712
My losing streak is done
1030
01:21:01,621 --> 01:21:02,918
Peek-a-boo!
1031
01:21:03,055 --> 01:21:04,386
Peek-a-boo!
1032
01:21:07,593 --> 01:21:09,424
A bouncy, bouncy, boy!
1033
01:21:09,562 --> 01:21:12,258
Used to always feel like
1034
01:21:12,398 --> 01:21:15,060
Wished that I was dressed better
1035
01:21:16,068 --> 01:21:17,729
Where's the baby?
1036
01:21:17,870 --> 01:21:22,239
Never had a lot of luck
Until I finally met her
1037
01:21:31,751 --> 01:21:35,744
Meeting every day with the rising sun
1038
01:21:38,424 --> 01:21:40,585
Looking up, it's looking like
1039
01:21:41,260 --> 01:21:44,093
My losing streak is done
1040
01:21:46,265 --> 01:21:48,597
My losing streak is done
1041
01:21:59,445 --> 01:22:02,107
Well... what shall we do now?
1042
01:22:18,130 --> 01:22:19,791
I got it.
1043
01:22:26,305 --> 01:22:30,674
Puss and Donkey, baby!
Once again, come on!
1044
01:22:30,810 --> 01:22:35,440
I want to thank you for letting me
be myself
1045
01:22:35,581 --> 01:22:36,673
Again!
1046
01:22:36,816 --> 01:22:38,681
Look at my hips!
1047
01:22:38,818 --> 01:22:44,017
I want to thank you for letting me
be myself
1048
01:22:44,156 --> 01:22:45,646
Again!
1049
01:22:50,930 --> 01:22:52,454
- Break it down!
- Let's go!
1050
01:22:52,598 --> 01:22:54,998
Stiff all in the collar
1051
01:22:56,836 --> 01:22:58,997
Fluffy in the face
1052
01:23:01,173 --> 01:23:03,664
Chit chat chatter trying
1053
01:23:05,011 --> 01:23:07,172
Stuffy in the place
1054
01:23:09,348 --> 01:23:12,181
Thank you for the par-tay
1055
01:23:13,352 --> 01:23:15,217
But I could never stay
1056
01:23:15,354 --> 01:23:16,685
I'm sorry.
1057
01:23:17,356 --> 01:23:20,348
I got many things on my mind
1058
01:23:21,694 --> 01:23:23,855
But the word's in the way
1059
01:23:24,864 --> 01:23:30,063
And I want to thank you for letting me
be myself
1060
01:23:30,202 --> 01:23:31,533
Again
1061
01:23:32,538 --> 01:23:34,506
Different strokes for different folks
1062
01:23:34,640 --> 01:23:38,235
Thank you for letting me be myself
1063
01:23:38,377 --> 01:23:39,867
Again
1064
01:23:42,048 --> 01:23:43,538
Break it down!
1065
01:23:44,550 --> 01:23:47,713
Puss and Donkey, baby!
Puss and Donkey, baby!
1066
01:23:48,220 --> 01:23:49,881
Puss and Donkey, baby!
1067
01:23:51,223 --> 01:23:53,384
Dance to the music
1068
01:23:55,227 --> 01:23:57,559
All night long
1069
01:23:59,565 --> 01:24:01,897
Everyday people
1070
01:24:03,569 --> 01:24:05,730
Sing a simple song
1071
01:24:07,740 --> 01:24:10,231
Mama's so happy
1072
01:24:12,078 --> 01:24:14,069
Mama start to cry
1073
01:24:16,248 --> 01:24:18,739
Papa's still singing
1074
01:24:19,919 --> 01:24:23,411
You can make it if you try
So try!
1075
01:24:24,590 --> 01:24:28,458
Thank you for letting me be myself
1076
01:24:28,594 --> 01:24:29,925
Again
1077
01:24:32,932 --> 01:24:36,800
Thank you for letting me be myself
1078
01:24:36,936 --> 01:24:38,631
Again
1079
01:24:38,771 --> 01:24:41,638
Oome on, Donkey. Do something right!
1080
01:24:41,774 --> 01:24:44,174
Put the hoofs together!
Put the hoofs together!
1081
01:24:45,277 --> 01:24:49,475
Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your
boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby!
1082
01:24:49,615 --> 01:24:53,483
Thank you for letting me be myself
1083
01:24:53,619 --> 01:24:55,109
Again
1084
01:24:57,289 --> 01:25:01,817
I want to thank you for letting me
be myself
1085
01:25:01,961 --> 01:25:03,053
Again
1086
01:25:03,195 --> 01:25:06,164
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
1087
01:25:06,298 --> 01:25:09,495
Want to thank you
Just to be my
1088
01:25:09,635 --> 01:25:12,502
Because I just want to be my...
See?
1089
01:25:12,638 --> 01:25:15,334
Can I, can I thank you!
Can I
1090
01:25:15,474 --> 01:25:17,305
Yes! Yes!
79973
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
