Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY ON "BOSTON LEGAL"...

I HAVE AN 80% CHANCE OF GETTING ALZHEIMER'S?

IT'S NOT LIKE I'LL REMEMBER IT. MAD COW.

I GOT WEAK STREAM SYNDROME.

IRRITABLE BOWELS. (passes gas)

DENNY CRANE.

GRAMMY? MARLENA.

I AM IN BIG TROUBLE, GRAMMY. I NEED YOUR HELP.

MELVIN PALMER. HOW ARE YOU?

ATTABOY. YOU'RE STILL A HOOT, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.

HELL, I GET PAID WIN OR LOSE.

NO REASON THIS CAN'T BE A WIN-WIN.

I JUST MADE MORE MONEY, THAT'S WHAT I DID. (clicks tongue)

***

HOW IS IT SHE ENDED UP IN A PENNSYLVANIA PRISON?

WELL, IT'S A PRIVATE FACILITY, ONE THAT WE SIGNED OFF ON

BECAUSE IT PROVIDED DRUG COUNSELING. WAS SHE AN ADDICT?

I DON'T THINK SHE'S AN ADDICT, BUT COCAINE POSSESSION AT 15,

IT'S NOT AN ENCOURAGING SIGN.

ANYWAY, THE FACILITY CLAIMED THAT ALL OF THEIR GUARDS

HAD DEGREES IN JUVENILE JUSTICE, CHILD PSYCHOLOGY.

THE GUARD WHO RAPED HER DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA.

OKAY. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY'RE NOT ANXIOUS TO SETTLE.

I MEAN, WHAT COULD THEIR DEFENSE POSSIBLY BE? WELL, PRISONS--

PRIVATE OR OTHERWISE-- AREN'T HELD STRICTLY LIABLE.

WE'D HAVE TO SHOW NEGLIGENCE. WHICH BASICALLY MEANS WE HAVE TO PROVE

THEY FAILED TO EXERCISE A REASONABLE STANDARD OF CARE

USING INDUSTRY STANDARDS.

MY FEELING IS THEY WILL SETTLE,

BUT ONLY AFTER THE NECESSARY AMOUNT OF POSTURING.

SORRY I'M LATE. I TOOK STORROW INSTEAD OF SURFACE.

JERRY, MY MAN. HOW ARE YOU, MY FRIEND?

BIG HUG. OH! I RUN ON HUGS, THAT'S WHAT I DO.

MELVIN PALMER. WOW.

YOU ARE A FETCHING YOUNG LASS, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.

AM I RIGHT, JERRY? TWO POPS FOR YES. (makes popping noise)

ATTABOY. SO WHAT DO WE GOT? YOU MUST BE THE FATHER OF THE GIRL.

TELL YOU WHAT, LET'S FAST-FORWARD PAST THE POINT

WHERE YOU TELL ME THIS IS A TERRIBLE THING. NO NEED.

SEE, UNLIKE YOUR AVERAGE G.O.P. FUND-RAISER,

I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING FUN ABOUT A RAPE.

HEY, HOW'S MY BUDDY AL? THAT BIG HOOT.

WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS MAKE YOU TWO OFFERS.

ONE'S GREAT, THE OTHER--BETTER.

HERE'S THE NUMBER. IT'LL MAKE YOUR EYES POP.

NOW I'VE GOT ANOTHER NUMBER HERE IN MY BRIEFCASE

EITHER BIGGER OR SMALLER THAN THAT ONE.

YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE HERE,

JUST SAY DEAL. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,

I OPEN THE BRIEFCASE AND YOU GET THE OTHER NUMBER.

SO WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, BIG DADDY? MY GOD. HIS DAUGHTER WAS RAPED.

YOU'VE TURNED IT INTO A GAME SHOW. LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A SWEEPSTAKES,

THAT'S WHAT I SAY.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT--I'M GONNA LET YOU OPEN THE BRIEFCASE

'CAUSE YOU'RE FETCHING, THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.

YOU JUST HOLD IT UP LIKE SO-- GOLLY, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

ONE POP FOR OLD TIME SAKE.

HEY, I'LL TAKE A STOMP INSTEAD.

SO WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, DAD, DEAL OR NO DEAL?

***

***

(elevator bell dings)

HI, GRAMMY.

OH, GOD. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW?

NICE. THAT'S HOW YOU GREET YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER?

SORRY, SWEETHEART. HOW ARE YOU DOING? I GOT ARRESTED.

JUST TELL ME IT'S NOT A FELONY.

OH, I COMMITTED THE UTMOST ACT OF PATRIOTISM. SO IT IS A FELONY.

IT SEEMS THAT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT THE FUTURE OF OUR COUNTRY,

BECAUSE I CARE THAT THE NATIONAL DEBT IS $9.4 TRILLION,

BECAUSE I CARE THAT 47 MILLION AMERICANS

ARE WITHOUT HEALTH INSURANCE--

JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DID.

I VOTED IN THE PRIMARY. YOU'RE 17.

OH, YES, I'M 17. I SHOULDN'T GET A VOICE.

MEANWHILE TOOTHLESS-IN-PODUNK WHO CAN'T EVEN READ A BALLOT

GETS TO DECIDE A SWING STATE? THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE. (elevator bell dings)

OH, HEY, IT'S THE OLD GUY. OH, CARL. DO YOU THINK YOU COULD HELP ME

WITH MY GRANDDAUGHTER MARLENA?

IT SEEMS SHE VOTED IN THE PRIMARY. WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL. YUM.

OKAY, SERIOUS ICK. DENNY, YOU REMEMBER MY GRANDDAUGHTE MARLENA.

OH. CLEARLY YOU'RE AS HOT AS GRANNY. ARE YOU AS NASTY?

OHH!

(thud)

VERY FUNNY, DENNY. OKAY, YOU CAN GET UP NOW.

NO, STAY DOWN.

DENNY.

OH, HE'S FAKING.

DENNY?

(Alan) HE'S NOT BREATHING.

DENNY?

(blows air)

HE'S NOT BREATHING. CALL 9-1-1.

DENNY, IF THIS IS A JOKE...

(grunting) DENNY!

(grunts) DENNY!

(siren wails)

***

(emergency radio chatter) I'M FINE.

DENNY, YOU'RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL. I JUST FAINTED, THAT'S ALL.

DENNY, YOU STOPPED BREATHING. WE HAD TO GIVE YOU MOUTH-TO-MOUTH. WHO GAVE IT TO ME--SHIRLEY?

ME. OH, GOD. TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL.

LET'S GO. (radio chatter continues)

I'M COMING WITH YOU.

JUST DON'T KISS ME.

(radio chatter continues)

(sighs)

$225,000 SEEMS A LITTLE LOW FOR A RAPE. YOU KNOW WHAT?

THERE IS NO AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT WOULD BE ENOUGH.

A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL? A MILLION SEEMS LOW. AM I RIGHT, JERRY?

GEE, I'M NOT SURE, MEL. WHY DON'T YOU OFFER A MIL?

I'LL LET YOU KNOW. YOU'RE A CHIP OFF THE OLD HOOT BLOCK,

THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE.

YOU SEE, MR. ADDARIO, I HAVE TO EVALUATE CASES

USING YOUR MORE OBJECTIVE JURY VERDICT RESEARCH.

COMES DOWN TO TABLES, STATISTICS, NUMBERS.

ASK ME, IT'S OFFENSIVE TO QUANTIFY SOMETHING LIKE A RAPE

WITH MONEY VALUES,

BUT THAT'S THE WAY THE LAW WORKS.

MY COMPUTATION VALUES THIS CASE AROUND $1.5.

WELL, YOU MUST HAVE ONE OF THOSE PLAINTIFF'S CALCULATORS,

THAT'S WHAT YOU MUST HAVE. MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST SPIN THE WHEEL.

THE THING IS, WHEN I FACTOR IN ALL THE VARIABLES HERE,

WHICH I WOULD BE REQUIRED TO DO,

YOU SEE, AS DEFENDANT'S COUNSEL,

$225,000 WOULD BE THE NUMBER--

ALL PAYABLE TODAY, BY THE WAY.

EXACTLY WHAT VARIABLES DO YOU MEAN? WELL, DO I REALLY NEED TO SAY IT?

AFRAID YOU DO. OKAY.

OBVIOUSLY, MS. ADDARIO WAS QUITE TRAUMATIZED BY ALL THIS.

HELL, I'VE NEVER EVEN MET HER, BUT MY SUSPICION IS

SETTLEMENT CONFERENCES AND THE LIKE

WOULD BRING BACK A TRAUMA THAT SHE WOULD JUST AS SOON FORGET.

AM I RIGHT? NOBODY HERE WANTS TO PUT HER THROUGH

THE ORDEAL OF A TRIAL.

YOU KNOW THE QUESTIONS I WOULD BE OBLIGATED TO ASK--

HOW SHE FOUND HER ASSAILANT ATTRACTIVE,

HOW SHE FLIRTED WITH HIM,

HOW SHE, PERHAPS, STOKED THE PASSIONS

THAT ULTIMATELY OVERTOOK HIS FREE WILL.

THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL A LOVING FATHER

WOULD EVER SUBJECT HER

TO ALL THE UGLINESS THAT GOES WITH A TRIAL.

AND, SEE, WITHOUT HER TESTIMONY,

YOU'D HAVE A HARD TIME GETTING ANY JUDGMENT,

THAT'S WHAT I KNOW.

AND KNOWING THAT, THE NUMBER IS $225,000.

YOU'RE DISGUSTING.

YOU KNOW, MISSY...

I GET THAT A LOT.

I'M ACTUALLY OKAY WITH IT...

WHICH IS SOMETHING YOU MIGHT CONSIDER.

I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO SUBJECT THAT POOR GIRL

TO A DISGUSTING LAWYER

WHO'S WILLING TO TEAR HER UP

AND DO, PERHAPS,

IRREPARABLE PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE?

I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT THAT. DO YOU?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHE VOTED?

SHE FALSIFIED HER BIRTH YEAR,

REGISTERED AND VOTED IN THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY,

AND IF WE HADN'T CAUGHT HER, SHE WOULD BE VOTING

IN THE GENERAL ELECTION. WHY DON'T WE PROSECUTE THE LAZY ASSES WHO DON'T VOTE?

MAYBE CHARGE THEM WITH DERELICTION OF CIVIC DUTY?

THERE'S AN IDEA. YOUNG LADY, YOU WILL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO.

YOUR HONOR, COULD WE JUST PLEAD THIS OUT?

GIVE HER A FINE, SLAP HER WITH SOME COMMUNITY SERVICE,

AND WE COULD ALL GO HOME. WHAT KIND OF LAWYERING IS THAT?

IT'S NOT JUST THAT SHE VOTED, JUDGE. SHE HAS A YouTube POSTING

WHERE SHE ENCOURAGES OTHER MINORS TO VOTE

AND OFFERS INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO FALSIFY REGISTRATION FORMS.

ONE YEAR IN JAIL. WHAT?

WHOA, JUDGE.

NOW I ADMITTEDLY HAVEN'T READ ALL OF THE--THE PATRIOT ACT,

BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT YOU CAN'T FIND SOMEBODY GUILTY

WITHOUT A TRIAL.

I COULD BE WRONG.

***

(siren wails)

TOXIC SHOCK? YOUR BLOOD TESTS SHOW A LOT OF DRUGS IN YOUR SYSTEM.

HOW MANY MEDICATIONS ARE YOU ON? I DON'T KNOW. 30, 40.

WHAT? 30 OR 40?

MY GOD! IS THAT A LOT?

WHY ARE YOU TAKING THEM?

I DON'T KNOW. YOU NAME IT-- UH, ACID REFLUX,

A WEAK STREAM, RESTLESS LEG,

HEMORRHOIDS, IRRITABLE BOWEL,

UH, MEMORY, CHOLESTEROL,

BLOOD PRESSURE-- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

THESE DRUGS CAN INTERACT. NO. I KEEP THEM IN SEPARATE BOTTLES.

DO THEY MAKE ONE FOR COMMON SENSE?

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GETTING YOUR MEDICAL ADVICE? TELEVISION.

TELEVISION?

FOR GOD SAKE, DENNY.

WHAT? THEY WOULDN'T ADVERTISE IF IT WASN'T SAFE.

MR. CRANE, YOU VERY NEARLY DIED.

YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DIDN'T DIE.

REALLY?

WHOOPS.

***

***

AFTER MY MOTHER DIED, I STARTED USING.

I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS ADDICTED, BUT--

YOU WERE ARRESTED AND CONVICTED FOR POSSESSION OF COCAINE?

YES.

I WAS GIVEN TWO CHOICES--

GO TO A JUVENILE DETENTION FACILITY,

OR CHOOSE THE PRIVATE ROUTE, WHICH PROMISED TREATMENT,

WHICH WE OPTED FOR.

WHAT HAPPENED AT THAT FACILITY?

I WAS RAPED BY A GUARD.

LAUREN, I KNOW THIS IS DIFFICULT AND--

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN RAPED, MS. LLOYD? NO.

THEN PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU KNOW.

OKAY.

CAN YOU TRY TO HELP ME-- I SHOULD SAY THE JURY--

UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED THAT DAY?

A GUARD...

WHO WAS NOT A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL

BUT INSTEAD A PAID-BY-THE-HOUR EMPLOYEE...

CAME INTO MY CELL...

PINNED ME DOWN BY MY NECK,

PULLED MY PANTS DOWN...

WAS THERE ANYONE ELSE AROUND?

(sniffles)

NO.

THE OTHERS WERE AT RECREATION OUTSIDE SOMEWHERE.

I WAS HELD IN FOR DISCIPLINARY INFRACTION.

I WON'T PRETEND TO KNOW

OR EVEN IMAGINE THE HORROR OF...

MAY I ASK, DID YOU KNOW THIS GUARD?

I KNEW HIM.

IN FACT, YOU HAD A RATHER CLOSE FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM,

DIDN'T YOU? OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T SEE HIM AS THE MONSTER THAT HE WAS.

I UNDERSTAND.

HAD YOU EVER KISSED HIM BEFORE THIS INCIDENT?

YES.

IN FACT, THE DAY HE CAME INTO YOUR CELL,

YOU TWO KISSED... CONSENSUALLY.

AM I RIGHT?

I NEVER CONSENTED TO BE RAPED. OF COURSE NOT.

YOU SAID YOU WERE HELD INSIDE

FOR A DISCIPLINARY INFRACTION.

WHAT--WHAT WAS THAT DISCIPLINARY INFRACTION?

I WENT INTO AN AREA WHERE I WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE.

YOU SNUCK OFF TO RENDEZVOUS WITH THIS PART-TIME GUARD.

ONE LAST QUESTION.

DURING THIS ATTACK...

DID YOU SCREAM?

HE SAID IF I MADE A SOUND, HE'D KILL ME.

SO YOU NEVER CRIED OUT FOR HELP.

NOTHING FURTHER.

SUE THE DRUG COMPANIES? THEY ALMOST KILLED ME. YOU HEARD THE DOCTOR.

EVEN SO. HOW ABOUT I SUE THE ONE

THAT MARKETS 16 OF THE 42 PRESCRIPTIONS I WAS TAKING?

DENNY, THE QUESTION WOULD BE, HOW COULD THEY PREDICT

YOU'D EAT THEM LIKE JELLY BEANS?

ALAN, HAVE YOU SEEN THE TELEVISION ADS? YES, I'VE SEEN THEM.

THEY LIST OFF THE SIDE EFFECTS

LIKE THEY'RE READING THE TELEPHONE BOOK.

THE BENEFITS GET ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES.

THEY NEARLY KILLED ME. I WANT TO SUE.

LET'S GET 'EM.

***

YOU CAN'T DENY THAT YOU BROKE THE LAW HERE.

CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE, PURE AND SIMPLE.

IT'S WHAT STARTED THIS COUNTRY,

AND ONE MIGHT LOOK AT ME AS A HERO. OR ONE MIGHT LOOK AT YOU

AS A PERSON WHO COMMITTED A CRIME,

PUNISHABLE BY UP TO FIVE YEARS IN JAIL.

OH, SO I CAN'T VOTE, BUT FOR THE PURPOSE OF LOCKING ME UP,

SUDDENLY I'M AN ADULT. ISN'T THAT CONVENIENT?

HOW FAIR IS IT

FOR ME TO BE EXCLUDED FROM THE DEMOCRATIC PROCESS

WHEN WE MAKE NO SUCH EXCLUSION FOR DRUG ADDICTS,

THE MENTALLY HANDICAPPED OR SENIOR FLORIDIANS

WHO ACCIDENTALLY VOTED FOR BUCHANAN?

DO YOU THINK THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THE COMPLEXITIES

OF, UH, IMMIGRATION, THE ECONOMIC RECESSION,

THE MIDDLE EAST BALANCE OF POWER, THE-- I THINK I UNDERSTAND IT SOME.

DO YOU THINK MOST AMERICAN VOTERS DO?

I MEAN, AREN'T YOU SICK

OF PEOPLE NOT VOTING FOR A CANDIDATE BECAUSE,

HEY, THEY DON'T THINK THEY COULD HAVE A BEER WITH HIM

OR HE'S A LOUSY BOWLER OR HER PANTSUITS AREN'T FLATTERING?

I'M A LOT MORE INFORMED-- MAYBE YOU'RE AN EXCEPTION. MOST 17 YEAR OLDS ARE--

ARE WHAT? HOW DO YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE

WITHOUT SOME LITTLE NUGGET OF AGEISM?

I MEAN, I'M OLD ENOUGH TO BE A PARENT.

I'M OLD ENOUGH TO GET AN ABORTION,

AND THAT IS A DECISION FAR MORE COMPLICATED AND DIFFICULT

THAN MAKING A CHECK ON A BALLOT BOX

BASED SOLELY ON WHETHER THERE'S A "D" OR AN "R"

NEXT TO A CANDIDATE'S NAME, WHICH IS WHAT MOST PEOPLE DO.

I MEAN, YOU WANT TO GIVE ME A TEST, MAKE ME TAKE A CLASS,

MAKE ME EARN MY RIGHT TO VOTE? FINE. I'LL DO IT.

BUT DON'T JUST SAY "NO WAY" BECAUSE I'M 17.

JOAN OF ARC LED AN ARMY AT 17, AND I'M CUTER... WAY.

***

WHAT'S REALLY NAUSEATING IS HE'S GOOD.

THE JURY SEEMED TO BE WITH HIM. HE'S VERY GOOD, BUT WE'LL GET HIM.

WAIT TILL I GET THAT DEFENDANT ON THE STAND. HE'S MUFFIN.

I MEAN TOAST.

YOU SEEM TO BE MORE CONFIDENT LATELY.

YOU MERELY TWIDDLE THE WOODEN CIGARETTE INSTEAD OF SUCKING IT,

AND IN COURT, YOUR HANDS ARE IN YOUR POCKETS,

NOT ON YOUR THIGHS,

AND--AND YOUR CLOTHES-- YOU'RE DRESSING MORE UPSCALE.

NEW THERAPIST, NEW JERRY.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA LEAVE THE OLD JERRY

COMPLETELY BEHIND, ARE YOU? NO.

YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN GET THE DEFENDANT?

NEW JERRY IN TOWN. HE'S BAGEL.

TOAST.

(makes popping sound)

***

WE ACTUALLY OPERATE MANY PRIVATE PRISONS

AS WELL AS OUR JUVENILE DETENTION CENTERS.

OUR SAFETY AND CRIME RECORD

IS TYPICALLY SUPERIOR TO THE STATE FACILITIES.

BUT JUST TO BE CLEAR, YOU'RE IN THIS FOR PROFIT, RIGHT?

YES, WE'RE FOR-PROFIT. WE'RE A BUSINESS.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH CAPITALISM.

JUST THE OPPOSITE.

PUBLIC PRISONS ARE WEIGHED DOWN WITH BUREAUCRACY.

THEY HAVE ARCHAIC CIVIL SERVICE RULES THAT THEY HAVE TO GO BY.

WE DON'T. WE'VE STREAMLINED THE ENTIRE PROCESS,

RIGHT FROM CONSTRUCTION ALL THE WAY TO HUMAN RESOURCES.

WE'VE EVEN ELIMINATED ALL THE RED TAPE.

SIMPLY PUT, WE CAN BUILD A BETTER PRISON FOR LESS MONEY,

AND WE DO.

OKAY, BUT, SIR, HOW IS IT THAT A 15-YEAR-OLD INMATE

COULD GET ATTACKED BY ONE OF YOUR GUARDS?

WELL, THIS WAS A ROGUE GUARD.

I'M SORRY TO SAY, BUT EVERY PRISON--

PUBLIC OR PRIVATE-- HAS THEM.

BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT WE DO SCREEN OUR EMPLOYEES.

HE HAD NO HISTORY OF VIOLENT OR SEX CRIME,

AND THERE WAS NO WAY TO PREDICT THIS.

I CAN ALSO TELL YOU THAT OUR SCREENING PROCESS

RIVALS OR SURPASSES THE ONES USED

BY THE STATE-OPERATED FACILITIES.

AS FOR ROGUE GUARDS, THEY'RE JUST A REALITY OF PRISON LIFE.

WHEN WE SAY "FOR-PROFIT,"

HOW MUCH PROFIT ARE WE TALKIN' ABOUT? (Melvin) OBJECTION. RELEVANCE--

I'D SIMPLY LIKE TO EXPLORE WHETHER THE SAVINGS

AFFORDED THEM A BETTER OPPORTUNITY TO,

SAY PREVENT THE 15 YEAR OLDS FROM GETTING RAPED.

OBJECTION. THAT'S INFLAMMATORY.

RAPES ARE AN INFLAMMATORY THING. MEL, DON'T YOU AGREE?

TWO POPS FOR YES. MR. ESPENSON--

SORRY, JUDGE. I'M A CHIP OFF THE OLD HOOT.

EXACTLY HOW MUCH MOOLA DO YOU MAKE?

WE MADE ABOUT $350 MILLION THIS PAST YEAR.

THAT'S KIND OF A LOT. DON'T YOU AGREE, MEL?

ONE POP. THREE IF YOU LOVE ME.

DO YOU THROW ANY OF IT TOWARD TRAINING YOUR GUARDS?

OF COURSE WE DO. OUR GUARDS ARE WELL-TRAINED.

WELL-TRAINED, AS WAS THIS ONE, THE ONE WHO ATTACKED MY CLIENT.

(chuckles) MR. PALMER LIKES TO SAY "ATTACKED."

"ATTACK'S" A NICE WORD. OUR TROOPS ATTACK, FOR EXAMPLE.

TROOPS ARE GOOD.

"ATTACK'S" A GOOD WORD,

MUCH BETTER THAN, SAY, "RAPE," WHICH IS UGLY,

WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CLIENT.

DID YOU TRAIN THIS GUARD NOT TO RAPE, BY THE WAY?

ALL OF OUR EMPLOYEES, INCLUDING THIS ONE, ARE REQUIRED

TO APPLY FOR CORRECTIONAL OFFICER CERTIFICATION

WITHIN SIX MONTHS OF HIRE.

THEN THEY HAVE ANOTHER SIX MONTHS TO GET CERTIFIED.

SO ANY EMPLOYEE CAN WORK FOR YOUR COMPANY

FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR WITHOUT CERTIFICATION.

AFTER RECEIVING 40 HOURS OF ANNUAL IN-SERVICE TRAINING

BEFORE-- 40 HOURS. THAT WOULD COVER YOUR RIOTS, BEATINGS,

SHANKINGS, ESCAPES.

YOUR EMPLOYEE TURNOVER IS TWO TO THREE TIMES THAT

OF PUBLIC PRISONS. AM I RIGHT? YES, BUT--

AND YOUR STAFF, LIKE THE STAFF OF MOST PRIVATE PRISONS,

IS 49% MORE LIKELY TO BE ASSAULTED

BY THE INMATES IN THEIR CHARGE. LOOK, IT'S NOT CLUB MED. IT IS A PRISON.

OH, I SEE. WE CALL IT "PRISON" NOW.

BUT FOR THE PURPOSE OF GETTING PARENTS TO ELECT

YOUR FOR-PROFIT ALTERNATIVE,

YOU'RE A "DETENTION TREATMENT FACILITY."

THAT'S ANOTHER LOVELY WORD-- "TREATMENT."

IT'S ALMOST AS ACCEPTABLE AS "ATTACK."

DOCTORS, FOR EXAMPLE,

LIKE TO ATTACK DISEASES WITH TREATMENT.

"TREATMENT, ATTACK, ATTACK, TREATMENT."

DOESN'T MATTER WHICH WAY,

IT STILL SOUNDS BETTER THAN "PRISON, RAPE"...

"PRISON, PRISON, PRISON,

RAPE, RAPE, RAPE." OBJECTION.

(judge) MR. ESPENSON-- HERE WE HAVE CHILD RAPE.

OBJECTION. BUT GOOD THAT YOU MADE A PROFIT.

I'M DONE.

UGH. STRAIGHT PROBATION, SIX MONTHS,

AND YOU TAKE YOUR INSTRUCTION VIDEO OFF YouTube.

(exhales)

NO.

W-WAIT A MINUTE. DID YOU JUST SAY "NO"?

THEY'RE WILLING TO LET YOU GO, MARLENA.

THIS IS MORE THAN JUST ME, GRAMMY.

I-I AM A MOVEMENT.

MILLIONS OF KIDS-- OH, GIVE ME A BREAK.

I WOULD THINK YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD UNDERSTAND,

BEING A FORMER SUFFRAGETTE, THAT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO STAND UP--

THE LAW IS BLACK...

DID YOU JUST CALL ME "A FORMER SUFFRAGETTE"?

AREN'T YOU?

HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM?

I DON'T KNOW. UH, 80?

PLEASE LEAVE NOW, AND TAKE THE WINDOW. IT'S FASTER.

AND, YOU, CAN'T YOU TALK SOME SENSE INTO HER?

ACTUALLY, I THINK SHE'S RIGHT.

UH, UH, NOT ABOUT YOU BEING 80, BUT SHE SHOULD GET TO VOTE.

EXCUSE ME?

WE HAD TEN MILLION PEOPLE WITHOUT HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMAS

VOTE IN THE LAST ELECTION.

WHY SHOULDN'T MARLENA GET TO VOTE?

CARL...

THAT'S HER "I'M NOT HAPPY WITH YOU" TONE.

YES, I KNOW IT WELL.

SURELY YOU THINK SHE SHOULD SETTLE THIS CASE.

SURELY I DON'T...

SHIRLEY.

***

GIVE ME ONE REASON WHY WE SHOULDN'T COUNTERSUE

FOR ABUSE OF PROCESS, FILING A FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT

AND POSSIBLY EXTORTION.

WELL, MY IMPRESSION OF THE PHARMACEUTICAL INDUSTRY

IS THAT IT'S ALWAYS SO NICE.

HE HAD A SCARE.

BUT HE'S FINE NOW. WHAT ARE THE DAMAGES?

WELL, EMOTIONAL DISTRESS, FOR STARTERS.

BUT HOW DID WE CAUSE IT?

WHAT IS IT EXACTLY YOU'RE CLAIMING WE DID?

WHAT YOU DID? YOU BRAINWASHED MY CLIENT.

THE MASSIVE MARKETING STRATEGY

EMPLOYED BY YOUR TRADE ASSOCIATION

'CAUSED HIM TO GULP DOWN 42 DIFFERENT DRUGS

ON A DAILY BASIS. AND IT WOULD BE FORESEEABLE IN YOUR MIND

THAT HE'D DO THIS JUST BECAUSE---

CERTAINLY FORESEEABLE TO YOU. YOU MARKET TO SENIOR CITIZENS

BECAUSE YOUR RESEARCH SHOWS THEY'RE EASY TARGETS,

SUSCEPTIBLE TO DECEPTIVE ADVERTISING--

I'M SORRY. YOU DID GO TO LAW SCHOOL, RIGHT?

ACTUALLY, I BOUGHT MY DEGREE ON THE INTERNET.

UH, WHAT'S YOUR POINT? WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM

WAS THE PRODUCT OF HIS OWN STUPIDITY.

THAT HE'S ABLE TO ENLIST HIS FIRM AND PERHAPS

AN EQUALLY INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED ATTORNEY

TO TYPE A CAUSE OF ACTION ON A COMPLAINT

DOES NOT GIVE HIM ONE. I BET YOU DIDN'T PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS AS A CHILD, DID YOU?

I'M LEAVING.

SIT YOUR ARROGANT ASS DOWN, MR. MATHIS.

BETTER YOU HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY NOW.

IT'LL BE CONSIDERABLY CHEAPER THAN IN COURT.

YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU'RE GOING TO INTIMIDATE US?

WE'RE ONE OF THE BIGGEST PLAYERS IN THE PHARMACEUTICAL INDUSTRY.

DO YOU HAVE THE SLIGHTEST SENSE OF HOW POWERFUL WE ARE? I HAVE A VERY ACUTE SENSE.

LAST WEEK I TOOK ON THE TOBACCO INDUSTRY.

IMAGINE MY SURPRISE TO DISCOVER YOU TWO ARE SO MUCH ALIKE.

YOU BOTH DENY THE DAMAGING HEALTH EFFECTS OF YOUR PRODUCTS,

YOU BOTH PROMOTE SO-CALLED INDEPENDENT RESEARCH,

WHICH YOU ACTUALLY FINANCE,

YOU BOTH MARKET TO CHILDREN,

YOU BOTH POUR MILLIONS OF DOLLARS

INTO LOBBYING EFFORTS TO BUY CONGRESS,

YOU BOTH SUPPRESS INFORMATION

THAT PROVES THAT YOUR PRODUCTS KILL PEOPLE.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE I CAN SEE IS THAT WHILE THE F.D.A.

IS HOSTILE TO CIGARETTES, YOU THEY ROLL OVER FOR.

LOOK--

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW BIG

AND POWERFUL YOU ARE, MR. MATHIS.

IT MIGHT DO YOU SOME GOOD TO CHECK ME OUT.

I'M THE GUY WHO JUST NICKED BIG TOBACCO

FOR $200 MILLION.

NOW I JUST SIT IN MY OFFICE ALL DAY,

TWIDDLING MY THUMBS, ASKING MYSELF, "WHO'S NEXT?"

WELL, GUESS WHAT. IT'S YOU.

IT'S YOU.

***

***

THE LAW IS THE LAW, AND SHE BROKE IT.

NOW SINCE THEY'VE ATTEMPTED TO PUT THE LAW ITSELF

ON TRIAL HERE, LET ME DEFEND IT.

THERE IS A REASON FOR VOTING AGE MINIMUMS.

MOST KIDS AREN'T AS FULLY INFORMED AS MISS HOFFMAN IS.

MOST KIDS ARE, WELL, KIDS,

AND THEY SIMPLY LACK THE JUDGMENT AND MATURITY.

A RECENT POLL FOUND THAT 20% OF STUDENTS AT N.Y.U.

WOULD TRADE THEIR VOTE

IN THE UPCOMING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

FOR AN iPod touch.

66% WOULD TRADE IT FOR FREE TUITION.

KIDS ARE KIDS, WHICH IS WHY THIS STATE--

INDEED MOST STATES-- SET BOUNDARIES.

WE DON'T LET THEM DRINK UNTIL THEY'RE 21.

WE DON'T LET THEM HAVE SEX.

WE DON'T ALLOW THEM TO ENTER INTO CONTRACTS.

IS IT FAIR THAT MARLENA HOFFMAN NOT BE ALLOWED TO VOTE

GIVEN HOW POLITICALLY AWARE SHE IS? MAYBE NOT.

BUT OUR SYSTEM HERE HAS TO BE WHAT'S BEST FOR THE MASSES--

SPECIFICALLY, WHAT'S BEST FOR THIS COUNTRY.

LETTING CHILDREN VOTE DOESN'T SERVE THAT GOAL.

I SALUTE MARLENA HOFFMAN AND HER CIVIC COMMITMENT. I REALLY DO.

SHE JUST HAS TO WAIT ANOTHER YEAR.

NOW I KNOW THAT TO HER, THAT PROBABLY SEEMS LIKE A LIFETIME.

AFTER ALL... SHE'S A KID.

WHAT'S THE FEAR? THAT THEY'LL SCREW THINGS UP?

WE HAVE A $9.4 TRILLION DEBT,

NO NATIONAL HEALTH CARE, UNPRECEDENTED POVERTY

CAPPED BY A RECESSION,

A WAR THAT COULD LAST A HUNDRED YEARS

DEPENDING ON WHO WINS THIS ELECTION,

AN EARTH THAT IS DYING.

OH, YES, PLEASE, LET'S NOT DARE

LET THE YOUNG PEOPLE MESS WITH OUR MASTERPIECE.

OH, COME ON, MR. SUCK.

DON'T YOU THINK THIS IS RIDICULOUS? AT FIRST I DID,

AND BY THE WAY, IT'S "SACK."

BUT THE MORE I LISTENED TO MS. HOFFMAN...

CHILDREN AREN'T JUST OUR FUTURE, JUDGE. THEY'RE OUR BEST HOPE.

WE NEED THEM INVOLVED, ON BOARD,

WITH AN APPRECIATION OF THE STAKES.

THIS YOUNG LADY IS.

COME ON. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ELECTING OUR COMMANDER IN CHIEF.

YES, I AM.

YOU KNOW WHAT? AND LET'S FACE IT--

THESE ELECTIONS ARE TYPICALLY DECIDED BY OLD COOTS

LIKE YOU AND ME.

WHY? WELL, BECAUSE NOT ONLY DO SENIOR CITIZENS

HISTORICALLY SWING ELECTIONS WITH THEIR VOTES,

WE HAVE THE MOST MONEY TO STUFF THE CAMPAIGN COFFERS.

McCAIN AND OBAMA CERTAINLY KNOW THAT.

HOW ELSE ARE YOU TO EXPLAIN THEIR DEAFENING SILENCE

ON WHAT MAY BE OUR BIGGEST FISCAL NIGHTMARE--

THAT MORE AND MORE OF THE FEDERAL BUDGET

NOW GOES TO SUBSIDIZING OLD PEOPLE?

MEDICARE, MEDICAID AND SOCIAL SECURITY

NOW TAKE UP 40%.

AND SPENDING ON THESE PROGRAMS IS EXPECTED TO DOUBLE

OVER THE NEXT TEN YEARS?

AS FAR AS WHAT THE KIDS GET, WELL, LET'S SEE--

FAILING EDUCATIONAL SYSTEMS, A BROKEN ECONOMY.

DON'T FORGET THE BACKDOOR DRAFT TO GET THEM TO FIGHT OUR WARS.

THE KIDS ARE GETTING SCREWED.

THERE ARE MILLIONS OF THEM ON HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE CAMPUSES

WHO ARE INFORMED, PASSIONATE--

OH, FOR GOD SAKE.

YOU MIGHT ALSO CONSIDER, JUDGE,

THAT TEENAGERS SPEND OVER $176 BILLION A YEAR--

OF THEIR OWN MONEY--

OVER $176 BILLION.

THEY EARN IT.

THEY FILE TAX RETURNS.

TO TAX THEM WHILE NOT LETTING THEM VOTE?

THAT AMOUNTS TO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION.

I THINK WE STARTED A REVOLUTIONARY WAR

TO RIGHT THAT WRONG.

FINALLY, YOUR HONOR...

I HESITATE TO SAY THIS,

BUT THE RESISTANCE TO LETTING YOUNG PEOPLE VOTE

MAY BE MORE INSIDIOUS AND SUBTLE

THAN, "GEE, THEY LACK THE MATURITY."

WE HAVE AN UGLY LEGACY IN THIS COUNTRY

OF EXCLUDING CERTAIN SEGMENTS OF SOCIETY.

THERE ARE WOMEN ALIVE TODAY

WHO WERE ONCE DENIED THE RIGHT TO VOTE.

EVEN AFTER AFRICAN-AMERICANS WERE GIVEN THE RIGHT,

MANY WERE SUBJECTED TO LITERACY TESTS,

LIKE IN ALABAMA, WHERE BLACKS HAD TO DETERMINE

THE NUMBER OF BUBBLES IN A BAR OF SOAP

BEFORE THEY COULD CAST THEIR BALLOT.

TODAY STATES ARE PASSING VOTER I.D. LAWS

REQUIRING PROOF OF CITIZENSHIP.

MAKES SENSE ON ONE LEVEL, BUT THE NET EFFECT

IS THAT MANY U.S.-BORN CITIZENS WILL LOSE OUT

BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO POOR TO AFFORD THE DOCUMENTATION.

MILLIONS OF FELONS CAN'T VOTE.

ALSO MAKES SENSE...

EXCEPT WHEN YOU CONSIDER

THAT 13% OF THE U.S. BLACK MALE POPULATION

FALL INTO THAT CATEGORY.

THE POOR, THE BLACK, THE YOUNG--

NOW A NUTTY REVEREND MAY HAVE BEEN RIGHT

WHEN HE SAID THAT THIS COUNTRY IS RULED BY THE OLD, THE WHITE

AND THE RICH.

SO YOU DON'T FAVOR ANY AGE REQUIREMENTS?

LOWER IT TO 17.

19 U.S. STATES ARE CONSIDERING LEGISLATION

TO LOWER THE VOTING AGE.

WHY?

BECAUSE IT'S TIME.

OUR KIDS ARE EDUCATED.

THEY CAN BE PASSIONATE, SOCIALLY AWARE.

I MEAN, THEY HAVE AN IDEALISM MANY OF US HAVE FORGOTTEN.

THEY HAVE A VOICE.

IT'S TIME WE LET IT BE HEARD,

NOT JUST FOR THEIR SAKES,

BUT FOR OURS.

***

(sighs)

***

WE GOING INTO COURT? THEY FILED A MOTION TO DISMISS.

CAN WE BEAT IT?

WELL, IT'S A PRETTY POWERFUL INDUSTRY, DENNY.

DO I HAVE TO GIVE YOU MY BIG PEP TALK AGAIN?

NO. THEY ALMOST KILLED YOU.

YOU CAN CONSIDER ME SUFFICIENTLY MOTIVATED.

OH, DENNY, PLEASE DON'T...

HUG ME.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I'M KIND OF A SIMPLE GUY, I ADMIT.

WHEN I GET A CASE, I JUST PLOP DOWN WITH THE COMPLAINT,

A CHEESEBURGER AND A POP,

AND I TRY TO DECIPHER WHAT THE THING IS REALLY ABOUT.

THAT'S WHAT I DO.

AND I MUST TELL YOU, I'M A LITTLE BIT STUMPED HERE.

I MEAN, IT CAN'T BE A STRAIGHT NEGLIGENCE THING,

CAN IT?

FIRST, IT WASN'T FORESEEABLE

THAT THIS GUARD WOULD COMMIT A SEXUAL ASSAULT.

HE SURE AS HELL NEVER DID IT BEFORE.

SECOND, THE PRISON'S OPERATING PROCEDURES

WERE CONSISTENT WITH INDUSTRY STANDARDS.

THIRD, THE PLAINTIFF HERSELF WOULD BE DEEMED

CONTRIBUTORILY NEGLIGENT

SINCE SHE CULTIVATED A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP

WITH THIS MAN.

SHE BROKE PRISON RULES TO BE WITH HIM.

HELL, SHE KISSED HIM.

THAT'S PROBABLY WHY

THEY DECIDED TO MAKE THIS A REFERENDUM ON PRIVATE PRISONS.

BETTER TARGET, 'CAUSE "FOR-PROFIT"

TRANSLATES TO "GREED" AND "AVARICE,"

AND WE LOVE TAKING THE DEEP POCKETS DOWN A NOTCH,

DON'T WE?

BUT, FOLKS, PRIVATE PRISONS

ARE A GOOD THING.

NOT ONLY DO THEY SAVE TAXPAYERS MONEY,

THEY MAKE US SAFER.

THEIR RECIDIVISM RATES ARE LOWER

THAN THE STATE-RUN FACILITIES.

THEY ALSO CREATE JOBS AND HELP THE ECONOMY.

I'M SORRY,

BUT YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE A GOAT OF PRIVATE PRISONS.

IF ANYTHING, WE NEED MORE OF 'EM.

NOW... A HORRIBLE THING HAPPENED HERE,

NO QUESTION,

AND BLAME WAS ACCESSED.

THE ROGUE GUARD WAS ARRESTED AND LOCKED UP.

JUSTICE WAS DONE.

THIS IS A CIVIL TRIAL,

WHICH IS TRYING TO FIND A CORRECTIONAL FACILITY GUILTY

WHEN THEY DID EVERYTHING RIGHT

ACCORDING TO INDUSTRY STANDARDS.

THAT'S... JUST... THE TRUTH.

HAVE WE ALL GONE COMPLETELY MAD?

ONE IN A HUNDRED PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY

ARE IN PRISON OR JAIL.

THE UNITED STATES HAS MORE PEOPLE LOCKED UP

THAN ANY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.

THAT INCLUDES CHINA.

FOR A NATION THAT BILLS ITSELF AS THE LAND OF THE FREE,

AMERICA QUITE FANCIES ITS SLAMMERS.

AND WITH ALARMING RECIDIVISM RATES,

DO WE REALLY MEAN TO TURN THIS PROBLEM OVER

TO THE FOR-PROFIT CORPORATIONS WHOSE VERY ECONOMIC SURVIVAL

DEPENDS ON PEOPLE GOING TO PRISON?

ARE WE REALLY TO BELIEVE THEY'LL REHABILITATE THEIR INMATES

WHEN THEY HAVE A PROFIT MOTIVE NOT TO DO SO?

I-IF PEOPLE DON'T COMMIT CRIMES, THEY'RE OUT OF BUSINESS.

YOU HAVE A CYNICAL VIEW OF HUMAN NATURE,

THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE, LITTLE LADY.

MR. PALMER, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO THE FACT

THAT YOU ARE FAR SIMPLER THAN ANY OF US COULD ASPIRE TO BE,

I SHALL ASK YOU TO NEVER, EVER CALL ME "LITTLE LADY" AGAIN.

AS FOR HUMAN NATURE, WE SAW IT IN IRAQ WITH BLACKWATER.

PRIVATE CORPORATIONS HIRED TO PROTECT OUR TROOPS

CHOSE NOT TO USE ARMORED VEHICLES

EVEN THOUGH THE CONTRACT EXPRESSLY PROVIDED FOR THEM.

SOLDIERS DIED BECAUSE SOME EXECUTIVE DECIDED,

BETTER TO SAVE MONEY THAN LIVES.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WITH FOR-PROFIT CORPORATIONS.

THEY NEVER KEEP LEDGER SHEETS SHOWING THE HUMAN COST.

OUR PRISON SYSTEM RELEASES 650,000 EX-CONVICTS A YEAR

INTO SOCIETY.

TWO-THIRDS OF THOSE

QUICKLY COMMIT CRIMES AND RETURN.

THAT'S GOOD FOR THE FOR-PROFIT PRISON BUSINESS.

VERY BAD FOR THE WELFARE OF OUR CITIZENRY,

AND IF GO WITH A SYSTEM THAT DISINCENTIVIZES REHABILITATION,

THEN WHAT?

WE'VE ALREADY GOT 2.2 MILLION PEOPLE IN JAIL.

IN FACT, MANY JAILS HAVE TO RELEASE CRIMINALS

BECAUSE THERE IS SIMPLY NO PLACE TO PUT THEM.

CORNERS GET CUT, COSTS GET SHAVED,

OFFICER TRAINING IS SHORTCHANGED,

AND SUDDENLY WE HAVE CHILDREN WHO ARE FIRST-TIME OFFENDERS

BEING PHYSICALLY ATTACKED BY CORRECTIONS OFFICERS.

MR. PALMER CLAIMS HIS CLIENT OBSERVED INDUSTRY STANDARDS,

YET HIS CLIENT HELD HIMSELF UP

AS BEING ABOVE THOSE VERY STANDARDS.

THE REASON LAUREN ADDARIO ELECTED TO GO TO THIS FACILITY

IS BECAUSE IT PROMISED A SAFER ENVIRONMENT

WHERE SHE WOULD GET TREATMENT.

BUT WHATEVER STANDARD OF CARE

ONE SEEKS TO HOLD A PUBLIC OR PRIVATE PRISON UP TO,

IT SHOULD BE ONE THAT SAFEGUARDS

AGAINST ITS 15-YEAR-OLD GIRLS BEING RAPED BY GUARDS.

***

***

ALL RISE.

ALL RIGHT.

I DID A LITTLE RESEARCH OF MY OWN LAST NIGHT.

I LEARNED THAT OUR BRAIN SIZE PEAKS AT 14,

AND OUR REASONING ABILITIES PEAK AT 12.

I ALSO DISCOVERED THAT IN PREINDUSTRIAL SOCIETY,

WHICH DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A WORD FOR ADOLESCENCE,

THAT POSTPUBESCENT TEENS ARE CONSIDERED ADULTS.

IN FACT, PSYCHOLOGISTS SAY THAT BY IMPOSING

ALL THE RESTRICTIONS THAT WE DO ON TEENAGERS,

WE ARE INFANTILIZING THEM--

PART OF OUR GRAND SCHEME TO EXTEND CHILDHOOD.

MANY OTHERS SAY THAT THE ONLY SOLUTION

TO TEENAGE ANGST AND IRRESPONSIBILITY

IS TO GO IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION

AND TREAT THEM AS GROWN-UPS.

CAN'T HE JUST SAY THAT I WON AND BE DONE WITH IT? (bangs gavel)

I CANNOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO VOTE.

BUT I AM SATISFIED THAT YOUR ACTIONS WERE--WERE NOBLE.

THEY WERE OVERT.

THEY DID NOT RISE TO THE LEVEL OF FRAUD.

AND THEREFORE, I AM DISMISSING ALL CRIMINAL CHARGES.

WE ARE ADJOURNED.

VERY GOOD JOB, MR. OLD GUY.

YOU KNOW,

I CAN ALMOST SEE WHAT GRAMMY FINDS ATTRACTIVE ABOUT YOU.

MARLENA, YOU'RE NOT NEARLY AS CUTE

OR OBNOXIOUS AS YOU THINK YOU ARE.

WHAT I WILL SAY IS... PRETTY COOL KID.

YOU WON'T TELL GRAMMY?

I KINDA LIKE GETTING ON HER NERVES.

(whispers) SECRET'S SAFE.

***

HE'S FAILED TO STATE A CLAIM EVEN SUGGESTING LIABILITY.

HOW IS IT FORESEEABLE TO US THAT HE WOULD GOBBLE

MULTIPLE MEDICATIONS, BUYING THEM OFF THE INTERNET

WITHOUT EVEN CONSULTING A DOCTOR IN PERSON? IT'S NOT JUST FORESEEABLE, IT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU COUNT ON--

SEDUCING THE MORE VULNERABLE MEMBERS OF SOCIETY

TO FALL FOR YOUR SNAKE OIL POTIONS. OH, THAT'S JUST ABSURD.

YOUR HONOR, HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE

DIE EVERY YEAR FROM PRESCRIPTION DRUGS.

27,000 PEOPLE WERE KILLED BY VIOXX.

IF YOU BELIEVE ONE F.D.A. OFFICIAL,

POSSIBLY 50,000.

YES, BUT YOU CAN'T SUE THESE PEOPLE FOR VIOXX.

THIS ISN'T ABOUT VIOXX, WHICH THEY DON'T EVEN MANUFACTURE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT AN INDUSTRYWIDE PATTERN.

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW

ALL THE POTENTIAL DANGERS OF THESE DRUGS

BECAUSE THE PHARMACEUTICAL INDUSTRY

SYSTEMATICALLY CONCEALS THEM.

THEY'VE BEEN CAUGHT BUYING CLINICAL TRIALS,

BRIBING DOCTORS, DISTORTING SCIENCE.

MANY OF THESE SO-CALLED PEER REVIEW ARTICLES

WE SEE IN MEDICAL JOURNALS

ARE ACTUALLY GHOSTWRITTEN BY THE DRUG COMPANIES THEMSELVES,

AND DOCTORS TAKE PAYOFFS

AND LET THEIR NAMES APPEAR AS THE AUTHORS.

YOU HAVE NO EVIDENCE THAT ANY OF THAT HAS HAPPENED HERE. BECAUSE YOU HIDE IT.

YOUR COMPANY PREVIOUSLY BURIED EVIDENCE

WHICH SHOWED A LINK BETWEEN ANTIDEPRESSANTS

AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS IN CHILDREN.

YOU DID THAT. WHICH WE STILL DENY, AND THIS ISN'T THAT CASE.

HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE SINGLE FACT TO SUPPORT-- THE FACT IS

THE U.S. PHARMACEUTICAL INDUSTRY SPENDS ALMOST TWICE AS MUCH

ON PROMOTION AS IT DOES ON RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT.

THAT'S OBSCENE.

AMERICAN TELEVISION VIEWERS SEE AS MUCH AS 16 HOURS

OF PRESCRIPTION DRUG ADVERTISING EACH YEAR.

16 HOURS--THAT'S MORE TIME

THAN MOST PEOPLE SPEND AT THE MOVIES.

THE FACT IS, THEY INVENT DISEASES,

LIKE SOCIAL PHOBIA, GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER,

TO SELL MIND-ALTERING DRUGS--

ANXIETY IS A CLINICAL ILLNESS. COME ON.

TO SUGGEST OTHERWISE

IS NOT ONLY IRRESPONSIBLE, YOUR HONOR--

WHAT'S IRRESPONSIBLE IS WE HAVE SCORES OF PEOPLE

BEING DIAGNOSED WITH THESE VAGUE MENTAL DISORDERS,

MILLIONS OF WHOM ARE CHILDREN.

WHAT'S IRRESPONSIBLE IS WE HAVE 3 YEAR OLDS ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS.

WHY? BECAUSE THE DRUG COMPANIES--

JUST LIKE BIG TOBACCO--KNOW THAT IF YOU CAN GET THESE KIDS

WHEN THEY'RE YOUNG ENOUGH, YOU HAVE A CUSTOMER FOR LIFE. I SHOULD SUE YOU RIGHT NOW.

YOU DO NOT GET A PASS JUST BECAU-- YOU WANT TO SUE ME?

PLEASE DO, BECAUSE TRUTH IS A COMPLETE DEFENSE,

AND I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE SAYING THIS.

THIS INDUSTRY INVENTS CHRONIC DISEASES,

BE IT RESTLESS LEG, DRY EYE SYNDROME

OR THESE UNSPECIFIED SLEEP DISORDERS

THAT REQUIRE TAKING NIGHTLY DOSES

OF HABIT-FORMING TRANQUILIZERS.

THEY FIRST CONCOCT THE DISORDER, NEXT THE DRUG,

AND THEN THEY BLITZ THE PUBLIC WITH COMMERCIALS

TO CONVINCE 'EM THEY'RE AFFLICTED,

AND IT'S ESPECIALLY EFFECTIVE WITH SENIOR CITIZENS.

MY CLIENT WAS POPPING PILLS LIKE CANDY. HE ALMOST DIED.

HE'S OUT OF CONTROL. YOUR INDUSTRY IS OUT OF CONTROL.

YOU MANUFACTURE AND SELL DISEASE

AT EXORBITANT COSTS,

AND THE F.D.A. REFUSES TO REGULATE YOU.

THE PHARMACEUTICAL LOBBY HAS A DEATH GRIP ON CONGRESS.

MR. SHORE, YOU NEED TO SETTLE DOWN.

YOUR HONOR, THE F.D.A. REFUSES TO GO AFTER THESE PEOPLE,

SO LET IT BE ME.

THEY VERY NEARLY KILLED A MAN I DEARLY LOVE. LET IT BE ME.

BUT LET ME GET STARTED, BECAUSE THEY STALL.

OF THE 27,000 TO 50,000 VIOXX DEATHS,

ONLY 18 CASES HAVE REACHED JURIES SO FAR--18.

MOST OF THE PLAINTIFFS WILL IN FACT BE DEAD

BEFORE THEY'RE COMPENSATED IN ANY WAY.

WELL, MY CLIENT IS 75.

SO PLEASE LET ME GET STARTED ON DISCOVERY

SINCE CLEARLY I'LL NEED EVERY SECOND.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. I WILL LET THIS CASE STAND.

WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY? PERHAPS YOU HAVE A PILL SHE COULD TAKE.

YOU'RE ALLOWING HIM TO GO FORWARD WITH NO PROXIMATE CAUSE.

THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS.

WHAT WOULD BE PREPOSTEROUS, SIR, IS IF I WERE TO EXTEND

THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT TO YOUR INDUSTRY.

DO I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT? THEY'VE GOT A PILL FOR THAT, TOO.

WILL YOU SHUT UP?

I HAVE MADE MY RULING. WE ARE ADJOURNED.

(bangs gavel)

YOU'VE BITTEN OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW THIS TIME, MY FRIEND.

OH, I DON'T SWALLOW. I JUST CHEW UP AND SPIT OUT. WE'LL SEE.

ZING. I CAN SEE YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS.

***

(indistinct conversations)

NERVOUS, JERRY?

INTERESTING CROSS OF YOURS.

LITTLE PIECE OF ADVICE, MY FRIEND,

NEVER, EVER GET UP IN COURT AND TRY TO OUT "ME" ME.

ALL RIGHT, MR. FOREMAN, THE JURY HAS REACHED ITS VERDICT?

WE HAVE, JUDGE.

WHAT SAY YOU?

"IN THE MATTER OF LAUREN ADDARIO

"vs. SUPERIOR CORRECTIONAL CENTERS,

"WE THE JURY FIND IN FAVOR OF THE PLAINTIFF

"AND ORDER THE DEFENDANT TO PAY DAMAGES

IN THE AMOUNT OF $1.7 MILLION."

DEFENSE APPEALS, JUDGE. SO NOTED.

MEMBERS OF THE JURY, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.

THE JUDGMENT IS ENTERED. THIS MATTER IS ADJOURNED.

(bangs gavel) YOU DID IT.

CONGRATULATIONS, LAUREN. THANK YOU.

(Mr. Addario) THANK YOU.

CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL, MEL. HEY, CAN YOU WIN ANY?

TWO POPS FOR YES, BRO.

JERRY, IN ENGLAND WE'RE TAUGHT TO BE GRACIOUS IN VICTORY.

I COULDN'T HELP IT. HE'S A BIG BOOB-HEAD.

(chuckles) WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.

IT SEEMS YOUR CROSS CARRIED THE DAY.

NO, IT WAS YOUR CLOSING.

IT WAS AS PERSUASIVE AS IT WAS ELEGANT.

I GUESS WE MAKE QUITE A TEAM, YOU AND ME.

AS--AS COLLEAGUES.

OF COURSE. ABSOLUTELY. AS COLLEAGUES.

(makes popping noise)

***

LAST WEEK, BIG TOBACCO.

THIS WEEK, BIG PHARMACEUTICALS.

WELL, WHY NOT GO OUT SWINGING, RIGHT?

WHO SAYS WE'RE GOING OUT?

I READ SOMEWHERE YOU SHOULD LIVE EVERY YEAR

AS IF IT'S YOUR LAST. REALLY?

I CAN'T IMAGINE THIS IS OUR LAST YEAR.

AREN'T THERE STILL SOME TIME SLOTS WE HAVEN'T TRIED?

(sighs)

DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THE END, DENNY?

DEATH?

I FEEL SOMEHOW I'LL JUST KEEP GOING ON

EVEN AFTER IT'S OVER, LIKE HILLARY.

(laughs)

REINCARNATION-- YOU BELIEVE IN THAT?

I DO, ACTUALLY. WHAT'S THE ALTERNATIVE?

NOTHINGNESS? I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.

NO.

YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION?

I DON'T KNOW.

I SUPPOSE IF I EVER DID GET TO HEAVEN,

GOD WOULD ALMOST CERTAINLY RETURN ME.

TRUE. (laughs)

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE IN YOUR NEXT LIFE?

I HOPE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. I COULD TOUCH MYSELF.

I MIGHT WANT TO TOUCH YOU. YOU'VE ALREADY HAD YOUR KISS.

HOW WAS IT FOR YOU? I'VE HAD BETTER.

YOU DIDN'T TONGUE ME, DID YOU? (laughing) OH, MY GOD.

I MUST SAY...

I FEEL... GREAT COMFORT,

THE WAY YOU'RE THERE FOR ME.

WHEN THE DAY DOES COME,

AT LEAST I WON'T BE ALONE.

YOU WON'T BE ALONE.

YOU KNOW, IF WE ARE TO THINK OF IT AS OUR LAST YEAR,

WE NEED TO THINK OF HOW BEST TO GO OUT.

FISHING FOR SURE. FOR SURE.

SUPREME COURT-- GOTTA GO BACK. SCALIA MISSES ME.

SHIRLEY.

(inhales) ONCE WITH SHIRLEY BEFORE I GO.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY GOT TO SUCK FACE WITH ME.

AND IT BROUGHT YOU BACK TO LIFE. LIKE SNOW WHITE.

(laughing) LIKE SNOW WHITE.

(chuckles)

OF ALL THE WOMEN I HAVE LOVED, BEEN LOVED BY,

WHOEVER WOULD HAVE BELIEVED

THAT ALAN SHORE WOULD BE MY PRINCE CHARMING?

LET NO MAN TEAR ASUNDER.

TILL DEATH DO US PART.

AMEN.

***

NEXT ON "BOSTON LEGAL"...

MY EX-HUSBAND--UH, HE'S TRYING TO TAKE MY DAUGHTER. HER MOTHER SELLS HER BODY AS A SEX WORKER.

SHE'S NOT A SEX WORKER.

YOUR DIALOGUE WITH OPPOSING COUNSEL WAS...

SEXUALLY AGGRESSIVE. DO YOU FIND ME TERRIBLY SEXIST?

(laughs) I COMMIT THE CRIME.

YOU ABSOLUTELY HAD TO SHOOT HIM? I SHOOT PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.

YOU HAD TO SHOOT HIM THREE TIMES? CARL SACK FOR THE DEFENDANT. WE'LL WAIVE THE READING.

WHAT HAS HE DONE NOW? HE USES THE MAD COW AS AN EXCUSE

TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS. IS HE GOING TO WIN HERE?

THAT I DON'T KNOW. WE DON'T REALLY HAVE A DEFENSE.