Original subtitles

You don't need me to tell you again,

it's a dog-eat-dog world out there these days.

Winning's what it's about.

Stay sharp and never, ever look weak.

For every hotshot on the way up,

there's another one coming down.

And the landing is never pretty.

Alan...

We always knew this day was coming.

Ever since the dragon lady took over.

Here, want this?

Stockbroker of the Year, 1982.

Alan, here, come on.

You may want this someday.

What am I gonna tell Caroline?

What am I going on about?

The world's always looking

for a 55-year-old stockbroker, right?

Look at them.

Sharks.

Thanks for all your support, fellas!

Take it easy, pal.

Hey, is there anything I can do?

Yeah.

Watch your back.

"Stockbroker in coma... "

That's my old boss.

Fred.

What if you knew, beyond a doubt,

what was going to happen tomorrow?

What would you do?

There's no easy answer

for a guy who gets tomorrow's news today.

*

This is not me.

Hey, Gare!

Remember that photo shoot I did yesterday

for the magazine Eating Out In Chicago?

Yeah.

Well, it didn't go too well.

Major publicity for us, pal,

and it is a disaster.

Forget about that.

Forget about that?

I look like something out of

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

Look at that. Look at this.

"Mr. Frederick Meanwell, a veteran broker

with the firm of Strauss and Associates,

went into cardiac arrest

shortly after the plastic surgeon, Dr. Swenson,

had made the first incision. "

Clear! Clear!

"A spokesman for the hospital said that

Mr. Meanwell remains in critical condition. "

I feel sick.

Yeah.

The man is like a father to me.

Both of us.

Plastic surgery? Fred?

I mean, he's not the greatest looking guy,

but still, he's never been that vain.

Well, I guess I'll just have to go talk to him.

Yeah, and what are you gonna say to him?

I don't know.

Fred!

Gary!

Hey! How you doing? Good, doing good.

Hey, what a coincidence, walking into you here.

Hey, you're looking good, huh?

Oh, couldn't be better. Yeah, good.

I haven't seen you in a couple of months.

How are things? Well, I sold the house.

I got a nice condo on the lake now.

Hey, what about you, kid? Huh?

I hear that you and Chuck

are starting a new restaurant.

Oh, yeah...

Still chasing those rainbows, huh?

It's, uh, I haven't found the pot of gold yet,

but I'm still chasing. Nah, you keep looking.

Listen, listen to me.

I am so proud of you, boy.

I mean, you did it.

You actually got out.

Yeah, I-I guess I did.

Well, how about you?

Me? What?

You talked about teaching high school math.

Whatever became of that?

Hey, you know, I still got a daughter

in her second year of law school to support.

Meanwhile, I'm still paying her tuition,

plus, I've got alimony, you know.

I've chased all my rainbows.

What's that mean?

Ah, nothing.

Look, kid, I gotta run.

Hey, listen, it's good seeing you again, okay?

It's been too long. Give me a call, will ya?

Yeah. Call me, I mean it.

Fred, Fred! Yeah?

I understand you're having surgery.

Where'd you hear that?

Uh, well, Chuck was at his plastic surgeon's,

and he saw your name on a chart.

What's wrong with Chuck?

Well, his football, old football injury.

Oh... I told him, I said,

you know, look, beauty's on the inside.

What do you need this for? Chuck doesn't listen.

So, what are you having done, Fred?

Well... uh...

you know, things have changed down at the office.

Sandy Comess was promoted to manager, and she's become

the high priestess of the youth culture now.

Sandy?

Yeah, Sandy Comess.

Yeah, she canned Alan Newton yesterday,

and by the way she looks at me, I'm next.

I mean, hell, you know, image is everything,

and I'm competing with these

young stockbrokers and their high-tech stocks.

I'm just gonna try to level the playing field, that's all.

Hey, keep this to yourself.

Now, listen...

are you sure you want to do something like this?

I mean, uh... Why not?

Well, surgery, it's, it's a very risky business.

It's very risky.

And, uh, do you even know the surgeon?

Gary, he's one of the best.

Okay? Look, I gotta go.

I've got a big appointment, I can't be late, okay?

You call me, all right?

Say-say hello to Chuck for me.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Sandy.

Gary, it's been a while.

Yes, it has.

If you're looking for a position,

I'm afraid we're overstaffed as it is. No, I'm not.

Actually, I'm here to talk to you about Fred Meanwell.

You know, Fred's a good friend of mine, Sandy.

Oh, yes, I do.

What about him?

Well, Fred's got this, uh, crazy idea

that you're thinking about letting him go.

This is a company matter, Gary.

You know, Sandy, when I came here

beforeyou,I was told two things:

One, that the, uh, the market was a jungle,

and two, that you need a pretty damn good guide

to get through that jungle.

And I gotta tell you something:

Fred Meanwell's one of the best damn guides I ever knew, Sandy.

Well, the jungle's changed, Gary.

There's a lot of new, young lions out there.

Ernie, what's the six-month LIBOR?

7.65 percent.

.12 up from yesterday.

Case in point.

Fred doesn't even know what LIBOR is.

Hey, Sandy, how old are you?

What's that got to do with Fred?

Well, I would hope it has nothing to do with Fred.

Just as I would hope it would have nothing to do with you someday.

Oh, look, Gary,

what's keeping Fred here is one very big client, Harry Knighton.

That's it.

Fred's with him now.

He's got some hot tip

about the Hartfeld Corporation.

Wants Knighton to invest big.

As far as I'm concerned, he blows this,

well, it's not personal.

But you know the game, Gary.

Fred! Come on in.

Thanks, Harry. It's good to see you again.

You, too. How are you?

Great. Have a seat.

Thank you.

Joanne tells me that, uh,

you've got a tip on Hartfeld Corporation.

Well, your, uh, your pretty assistant is absolutely right.

I thought old man Hartfeld was still in the hospital.

Until this morning.

Now, my sources tell me that he got up out of the wheelchair

and walked out a back entrance

under his own steam.

Now, they're gonna try to keep this

from the press for a couple of days.

You and your sources, Fred.

Yeah, I know, that's what we pay the man for, Joanne.

But, uh,

I'm still a little bit shaky here, Fred.

Hartfeld Corporation is totally dependent on Garson Hartfeld.

Now, if he's able to run things again, great.

We're gonna make a killing.

But if he steps down again...

My sources tell me

that he looks healthier than he has looked in years.

I'm in.

Buy me 180,000.

Mr. Knighton, I think that...

Joanne, we're gonna load the boat.

I'm betting on Fred.

Oh, Harry, uh,

we should make this individual equities,

'cause you're gonna be paying a load,

but at least you'll have a pillow under your downside.

See what I'm talking about?

Experience.

Excuse me.

Uh, Dr. Swenson?

Yes?

My name is Gary Hobson.

I wonder if I could speak to you a minute.

What can I do for you?

Fred Meanwell, he's a very dear

friend of mine, and he's coming in for surgery today

and I... well, I'm concerned.

Well, how's that?

Fred's in a slump right now,

and I have a feeling this surgery is unnecessary.

That's his choice, Mr. Hobson.

Well, no, no, I... I understand that.

I - It's just that he hasn't been himself lately.

He's, uh, kind of depressed,

and you did give him a thorough checkup, didn't you?

Something that's generally recommended before surgery.

Well, I, I think that, uh, I don't want Fred to rush

into anything here, and I think that if,

if you and I spoke to him,

maybe we could get him to put it off a day or two.

Fred has already made his decision.

I can't discuss his case with you.

Well, yes, I...

Is there anything else?

Well, I...

I have patients to see.

No.

Ooh. Okay, one more.

Here we go.

Very good... good.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

One second, Cindy.

Okay, get ready to smile.

A little less smile.

Move your head to the left.

Excellent.

Okay.

Good.

You know, it's so good to have a real professional.

Not that the other guy wasn't a professional.

He just didn't have your, um...

your, um...

Portfolio?

Your, uh... your vibe.

Chuck, you in there? No.

Come on.

Gare, you're in my light, please. Huh?

Listen... Oh, take one of the two of us.

Listen, I think I know why... Gare, did you meet Cindy?

No, I didn't - hello, Cindy. Cindy, Gary; Gary, Cindy.

Hello, Cindy.

Hi, Gary.

Listen, I think I know why Fred...

why he's having the surgery.

It's because he's gonna... thinks...

well, he thinks he's going to lose his job,

so we got to save his job. Okay, that's right.

I'm a little busy right now taking these pictures.

Would you, uh, listen to me, would you?

Look.

Harry Knighton, Fred's client...

he's big in the Hartfeld Corporation.

Yeah, well, Hartfeld's about to croak- I wouldn't invest.

No, no, you don't understand.

This is a solution right here.

So, it... Marissa, you ready?

All set.

Everything here to keep him busy.

Come on, let's go. And do what?

Look, I'll explain along the way.

Please, just let's go- come on.

How do we get out of here?

All right, uh... Cindy, you're going

to get me those proof sheets?

You got it- pronto.

And, uh, maybe next time,

I'll, uh...

I'll take your picture, huh?

Whoa.

Where did you get all this stuff?

My Great-Aunt May.

You know, she never throws anything away.

Oh, well, that must run in the family.

Hey, I think, uh...

I think that photographer has a thing for me.

It's too bad you couldn't see her, Marissa.

Oh... she's really hot, huh? Mm-hmm.

Come on, let's take your car.

Oh, there's a little problem with the car.

Parking tickets- I got the Denver boot.

We got to take a taxi. Uh, wait a second.

We're not going to get a taxi at this hour.

Just leave it to an expert.

You're not going to find a taxi at this... Taxi!

Stop!

Come on.

Let's go.

Just got to know how to speak their language.

Right, Chooch?

You got it, Guido.

Okay.

Mr. Benzinger, I realize

you're a very busy man, but if you

could give me ten minutes of your time,

then I could explain to you

the opportunities of mortgage bonds.

I think you'd be very interested.

Uh, could you hold on, Mr. Benzinger?

Hey, Marissa.

Hey, Fred, how you keeping?

I miss your smile at the reception desk.

I miss your voice.

So, what's uh... what's with the box?

It's an inheritance from my Great-Aunt May.

She passed away last week.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah.

Well, the good news is, um, she left me all this.

Uh, just one second.

Hey, Mr. Benzinger, can I call you right back?

Thank you.

Well, that's, uh...

that was very generous of her, Marissa.

You know me, Fred.

Uh, investing is not my strong point.

And Gary said that there

was no one better to help me sort

through all this than you.

Ah, well...

what... what exactly is... is in the box?

I know what you're thinking.

Chump change.

Don't be fooled.

My Aunt May may have lived like a pack rat,

but she was very sly when it came to money.

I... I could be sitting on a gold mine.

I really appreciate this, Fred.

Oh.

Yeah... no problem.

No problem at all.

Why don't we, uh, use the conference room?

Okay.

You want to just take my arm?

Yeah, following you.

Ah, that old familiar smell:

fear, sweat and Big Macs.

You believe we used to live like this?

Oh, listen, I don't even want to think about it.

Another hour in this place,

and they'll be dragging the river for my body.

Bingo.

Just give me five minutes.

Go... go, go, go, go.

Ms. Comess?

What an enchanting ensemble.

Has anyone ever told you you have an incredible flair

for fashion?

Fishman.

Weren't you recently fired from this establishment?

Uh, no.

I believe "tendered my resignation"

is the operative phrase.

I decided to pay a little social visit, and you

were on the top of the list.

Is this a bad time?

Obviously, you want to invest for the long term, so...

should I be thinking growth or dividend income?

Uh, well, uh, that, uh, all depends on the amount.

Hey, Gare.

If you're looking for Fred, he's in the conference room.

Fred? No, no, no.

I... I was just... just reminiscing.

Oh.

Here's the deal.

I am now part owner

and full-time manager

of one of the hottest restaurants in Chicago,

and we are talking about expanding.

Oh, please.

This has the word, "franchise,"

written all over it.

Now, we're thinking of starting an initial stock option

at five dollars a share.

Ernie, did you call Ms. Miller about...

Mrs. Comess. Fishman.

You're missing the big picture here, Ms. Comess.

The big tableau.

Oh, what are we up to so far?

$312

in cash, a, uh, modest

coin collection

and, uh, 16 postage stamps.

Ma'am...

big trade, crazy.

I don't understand it.

Elucidate.

According to the board,

we just dumped Mr. Knighton's entire holding in Hartfeld Corp.

What?

180,000 shares, gone.

Wait, wait.

Fred just put through the order to buy them.

Are you sure? I'm sure.

Oh, my God.

I would forget about the S and P 500 for now

and think more in terms of getting you a CD.

Meanwell, my office now.

Uh... uh, excuse me, Marissa.

Thanks, Fred.

You, out.

Think about what I said, huh?

You just sold all Hartfeld stock.

I... I, uh... I did what?

I want an explanation,

and I want it now.

An explanation for what?

How could you sell those shares?

Are you completely out of your mind?

Harry Knighton on the horn for you, Meanwell.

Line two.

Put him on speaker.

We should all hear this.

Go ahead, Mr. Knighton.

KNIGHTON Fred, are you there?

Uh... oh, I'm here.

I'm right here, Harry.

I'm not happy, Fred.

In fact, you could say I'm about to go thermonuclear.

You said the man was healthy; and the next thing I hear,

his ticker explodes!

What?

We got to dump that stock, Fred.

It's going to fall like a stone.

Fred, are you there?!

I... I sold the stock, Harry.

All of it?

All... the whole thing, all of it.

How did you know?

Sources, Harry.

You know, you never underestimate the value of sources.

You... you mean we're okay?

We didn't lose anything?

Well, as a matter of fact...

you are...

20 grand to the good.

Uh, it's not much, I'm afraid, but,

you know, it's...

Fred.

I... oh, I love you, Fred!

Well, I'm very fond of you, too, Harry.

Excuse me while I crawl back from the ledge here.

I'll, uh...

I'll talk to you later.

Good-bye, Harry.

Sources?

Each to his own, Ms. Comess.

Or... or shall I call you Sandra?

You can call me whatever you want.

How about over lunch?

I'd like to learn more about the Meanwell method.

I'd be delighted, but I'm afraid it will have to wait.

I have an appointment.

If you'll excuse me.

And don't forget, I'm on vacation.

Well, another hard day's work at the office, huh?

Memories, buddy.

Get a cab.

Watch out, watch out.

Taxi!

Hey, hey!

That's pathetic.

Wait here.

Out of my way, pal.

Whoa!

Okay.

See? No problemo.

No.

I thought you were supposed to be good.

I'm an artist, Chuck... not a surgeon.

An artist? Who do you think you are, Salvador Dal�?

These are surreal.

Hey, if the shoe fits.

What is that supposed to mean? I'm out of here.

You'll get my bill.

It's been fun.

Sort of.

You expect me to pay for these?

Unbelievable.

What?

Nothing.

I know my face, Gare.

These don't look anything like me.

Is that too much to ask?

Some passing resemblance?

There's got to be a decent photographer in this town.

Maybe you should go to a different city.

Chuck, come here, look at this.

Fred's not going to go into a coma anymore.

That's great. No, it's not.

Look.

"Stockbroker dies

while undergoing plastic surgery. "

It's got to be a mistake.

A mistake?

Yeah, it's got to be stuck or something.

What do you mean, stuck?

The paper- it happens.

Yeah... a piece of grit gets stuck into the, uh,

cosmic machinery and makes the whole thing just stop.

What are you talking about?

What else could it be?

I mean, we saved the guy's job, right?

Heck, he's practically a hero down there now.

So, if what you say is right, the only reason he

was getting plastic surgery was so that he could keep his job.

Well, now that his job is safe,

there's no reason for him to even

get plastic surgery, so the thing's got to be wrong.

Unless I could be wrong.

Right?

Whatever the reason is, we got to figure it out.

Right.

Fred?

Hey. Hi.

How are you, sweetie?

Good. Mm.

Hello, my little genius.

I cannot believe

what you did this morning.

Lucky, huh? Luck had nothing to do with it.

You are the smartest, most wonderful man

in the entire world.

Yes. Whatever you say.

Fred!

Gary, what are you...?

What a coincidence.

Meeting you three times in one day, huh?

Really. Oh, uh, Gary Hobson, this is Joanne Hanson.

Hi. Oh, nice to meet you.

Gary's a friend of mine. Nice to meet you.

Fred's very proud of your success.

We're gonna have to come by and see your restaurant sometime.

Oh, please do, any time. Any time at all.

I got to get back to work.

Okay, darling. Bye. See you later.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Nice lady. Yeah, yeah.

She works, uh... works for Harry Knighton.

We've been seeing each other for a few months.

Oh, listen, Fred, I want to talk to you about something.

Hey, look, I want to thank you for this morning.

Oh. How the hell did you do that?!

Well, it's just, uh, sources.

You always taught me, never underestimate a source.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, anyway, you-you sure saved my bacon.

Well, that-that's good.

Now, listen, Fred,

you won't be needing that, uh, surgery.

Gary, did you get a good look at Joanne?

Yeah. She's a good-looking...

She's 33, and I'm fifty. How long do you think a great

girl like that is gonna stay with me, huh?

I don't know.

Sometimes when I'm with her, age doesn't matter at all.

You know?

And then I look in the mirror...

Fred, have you told her about the surgery yet?

No, no.

She thinks I'm gonna be out of town for a few weeks.

Well, Fred, maybe you ought to tell her.

Oh, yeah, sure. Let her see how desperate I am.

Maybe she doesn't want you to change.

I mean, maybe, she...

Gary, you can't believe what they say to you

just to make you feel good.

Anyway, I've heard that song before.

Yeah, I know. I've been divorced before,

too, remember? But I got...

Yeah, I know, but she didn't dump you

for some 28-year-old golf pro, you know?

I mean, she didn't...

Buddy.

Wise up, Gary. It all

turns out to be the things you don't want it to be.

Money, power, looks.

Come on, Fred, you don't believe that. I mean...

Gary, Gary, look, take care of yourself, okay?

You're, you're acting a little strange, all right?

Well... No, no, no.

No. Starting a restaurant is very stressful, you know?

So, get some rest or take some time off?

Well, Fred, maybe you ought to...

I'll give you a call, okay?

In a month, I'll give you a call.

But listen, Fred... Good-bye, Gary.

Fred, there's something I want to tell you now. I...

Good-bye, Gary.

Bye-bye.

All right, now, listen,

I got to find the operating schedule,

the exact time, and the hospital we're doing this in.

What are you doing?

Look, go check his office.

How am I gonna do that?

I'll distract whoever while you go,

sneak in and find the schedule.

That's the stupidest...

Hi. May I help you?

Hi. My name is Fred Fishburg,

and I need to see the doctor.

And may I ask what this is regarding?

Yeah... Excuse me.

Mm-hmm. Uh, can I use your bathroom?

Oh, first door on your right.

Anyway, uh,

it's kind of a, uh, personal matter, but, uh,

it's my face.

What about it?

Well, I just did a, uh, photo shoot

for a very exclusive men's magazine,

and I noticed that from certain angles,

I don't look as handsome as I do in real life.

Sarah.

Afternoon, Doctor.

Doctor, hi.

My name is Frank Fishburger,

and I'm a new patient.

Oh, that's nice. I'll be right with you.

You come very highly recommended. Well, that's good.

You know, by my acquaintances, my friends, my...

My mother saw you on Jenny Jones.

Uh, Mr. Goldfish, I have a very busy day today.

My assistant will be very happy to give you an appointment.

Security.

What are you doing here?

I- I don't know how to put this,

'cause we're running out of time,

but Fred Meanwell's life's in danger.

What the hell are you talking about?

Heart. Man has a bad ticker.

I tried to stop them, Doctor.

You cut on Fred, your insurance

premiums are gonna go through the roof.

You can't operate on the guy.

We're talking malpractice city.

I gave Mr. Meanwell a very thorough physical.

There's no evidence of any pathology of any kind.

Check him again. Check him.

Call security.

I did. Look,

maybe you missed something

on his physical.

He may sound crazy,

but look at his face- all-American,

sincere, earnest, honest.

Get them out of here, both of them. Come on, let's go...

Does he look crazy to you? Do I? Come on, let's go.

I'm telling you, you can't operate on this guy.

If the papers get wind of this,

this is not gonna be good for our business.

You happy now? Come on.

Come on, let's go. Come on.

No problem. No problem. Come on, move it.

Did you find out where and when?

Yeah. We've only got a couple of hours to convince him.

Come on, we got the light. Let's go.

He's here.

Went on vacation.

Back in three weeks.

Look, I really wanted to talk to Fred,

but we can't reach him anywhere.

Maybe you could help. How's that?

I still can't figure out how Fred knew about Hartfeld dying.

I mean, he sold the stock

minutes before the announcement.

Well, Fred's got good instincts.

Kroell says he saw you

hanging around Fred's desk

right before the news came out,

and then you slipped away.

Well, that's because I was waiting

for Chuck to finish talking to you, and I...

You're-you're... You're not... You're not...

You're not thinking that I was involved in any

insider trading or anything?

No, no. I just want to know how you guys did it.

Maybe we could work together on this.

I'm retired.

You're kidding?

No. He told me he was

going to a Bavarian health spa.

Why would he lie to me?

Well, I-I... I think maybe

he's just, you know, a little embarrassed.

Listen, I love Fred,

but he's not the most secure guy in the world.

Well, it's not because of anything I said.

I mean, I never... Oh, no, no.

I'm not making any accusations.

Believe me, I...

I just don't want Fred to make a mistake is all.

Well, what would you like me to do?

Well, I wondered if you could speak with him.

And say what?

Well, reassure him.

I- I think if you and I- well, the both of us-

we talked to him, then we can talk him out

of the whole crazy idea.

I'm not all that sure it's so crazy.

Excuse me?

Fred is an adult.

He doesn't need you or I to make decisions for him.

Yes, but I don't think this is a decision

that he needs to be making, believe me.

Have you ever actually known anyone

who's had cosmetic surgery?

Well, no, I haven't, but I...

All right, look,

he's a grown man, okay?

He doesn't need you or I to go around policing him.

If you love somebody, you need to let them be free

to make their own decisions. Oh, well, that's great,

but I don't think Fred's... I got to go work on this.

Oh, will-will you talk to him?

No. I don't think so. Wait.

Oh... What if I told you

that if he goes through with this operation,

it could put his life on the line?

How do you know?

Well, I-I know, because I...

I can't tell you how I know,

but I-I... I know...

Oh, okay, look, Mr. Hobson,

Gary, I know you mean well, all right?

But I happen to know Dr. Swenson's reputation,

and I know that he would not put Fred

in any danger whatsoever, all right?

Yeah, well, that's great, but... I'm really sorry.

I have to go. I can't help you. Excuse me.

Well, I see why you didn't want to talk to him. What?

Well, it looks like you found someone else to talk to.

Gary, I...

Look, you're gonna tell him the truth,

you're gonna cut him loose, all right?

David. Mom.

You know, all you people- you're all the same.

Yeah, it's all a big game to you, isn't it, Mom? Mom?

Gary, this is

my son, David.

Hi.

Your son?

Yeah.

David, could you get us a couple of lattes?

Okay.

Thanks.

He's just staying with me a couple of days.

He's, uh...

Why don't you sit down before you fall down?

David just started medical school.

Northwestern.

You're married?

No. I was married 22 years ago.

I'm divorced.

And Fred knows this?

No. I haven't been able to tell him.

Why not?

Well, he thinks I'm 33.

Excuse me?

I'm 42 years old, Gary.

Cosmetic surgery.

Oh.

After my marriage,

when guys would find out I had a kid, they would just run away.

Then I turned 40, and I really panicked.

I didn't really know what to do.

I mean, I didn't want to be alone.

So I did it.

And I haven't quite been able to tell Fred.

Listen to me.

Fred's not doing this for himself.

Fred's doing this out of vanity.

And you got to stop him, 'cause in 40 minutes, he's gonna

go into surgery, and you got to be there before he does.

He'll hate me.

Fred's a good, honest man. They don't make 'em

like Fred anymore. When he talks about you,

his whole face lights up.

Ever since I've known Fred, he's been like a father to me,

and I don't want to see anything terrible happen to him.

And if you can get there

before he goes into surgery, I promise you,

it'll be like you're saving his life.

What have you got to lose?

Mom, you have the, uh,

nonfat decaf latte, right?

We're leaving.

What?

We're leaving.

All right, all right, how about this?

You call the doctor's office.

You tell them that Fred has had a change of heart

and that he's not coming.

And then Fred shows up.

All right, better idea, better idea.

Call him, tell him that Michael Jordan is looking

for a forth at a golf game at the Lake Hills Country Club.

No, because if he's a sports fan... I mean,

everybody knows the Bulls are not in town.

All right, all right.

How about this?

McGinty's.

Chuck, Joanne's going to help.

Great. Yeah, listen, you're closer to the hospital.

We're not going to make it on time,

so I want you to keep him off the table, all right?

I'll keep him on ice until you get there. Bye.

Uh...

Everything looks great, Fred.

See you about 20 minutes.

I'll be right here.

Thanks.

CHUCK Afternoon, Doctor.

Well, Mr. Meanwell,

how are you feeling today, old chap?

Well, you know... Top notch, by the looks of things.

You look absolutely fabulous.

Let's see what we've got on the menu today.

Now, let's see here.

We've got a... upper blasphomasoly,

lower blasphomasoly- splendid.

Well, we're going to be cutting you

from the nape of your neck to the bottom of your bollocks.

Just kidding, sir.

Okay, let's not keep the saw box waiting.

Now, I don't know about whether you know the procedures,

but the first thing that we're going to be doing...

Whoa... oh, sorry about that. Wait a minute - Hold on, hold on.

Sorry, sorry. Hang on. Okey-dokey.

Now, I'll tell you, Here- all right.

the nurse usually does these kinds of things, but she's...

FEMALE OPERATOR I'm sorry, sir - I can't connect you to that room right now.

They won't put me through to Fred's room.

Absolutely old fruit.

You just lie back and make yourself comfy, okay?

Whoa.

Hold on there, chief.

That patient is pre-op.

Right.

The OR is that way.

Indeed it is.

Good fellow.

Well spotted.

We're under the strictest orders

to keep our junior chappies

on their toes, don't you know?

What's your name, sir?

Jimmy. Jimmy, I'll be sure you're sent up

to Obstetrics right away.

Uh, to the right.

Right.

Right it is.

Jimmy, you're impressing me more and more every...

Hey, can you pick it up?

We're running out of time here.

Mr. Meanwell, how you doing?

Oh, okay.

Those drugs kicking in yet?

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good.

Okay, well, I'm going to put you out in a minute.

Okay. All right. Excuse me, uh...

Doctor... Harper.

And you are?

I'm Dr. Livingston.

Listen, I just got back down from Obstetrics.

Oh, man, what a scene.

There was a lady there screaming,

bellowing for her epidermal.

I offered to administer it, but she refused.

Wouldn't let me lay a finger on her.

She insists that you stick her.

Me?

Are you sure?

Yeah, didn't you get the page?

No. Oh, those numskulls.

I'll tell you what.

Uh, you go down there now,

and I'll, uh... I'll hold down the fort over here, okay?

Uh... what did you say your name was again?

Uh, Livingston.

The "G" is silent- but you got to hurry up.

She's going to rip those poor ob-gyns' heads off. Fine.

I'll just mosey on up. Excellent. Okay.

Silvia...

have you ever seen that guy before?

No. Okay... stay calm.

Don't let him too close to the patient.

I'll be right back. Okay.

Uh, you sure these are the largest?

I have massive hands.

Oh.

Clumsy me.

Dr. Livingston, I presume?

Yes, that's my name.

Yeah, let's see some ID, then. ID?

Well, I... Come on.

Fred! Fred, don't let them do it!

Fred, they're going to kill you!

You've got to wake up, Fred!

Your face looks great, Fred!

Some friends you got.

Huh?

What? You sure you want to proceed?

What? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's go for it, huh?

I swear, it's not what it looks like.

I'm actually trying to save a life here.

Sure you are, Doctor.

Come on, he's in OR three.

It's down this way. Okay, I'm going

to inject the anesthetic into your IV.

You'll feel a slight burning sensation,

and then you'll be out.

See you on the other side, Fred.

Stop.

Oh, not again.

Fred.

Joanne?

Joanne? Wh...

Dr. Swenson.

Well... you...

you two know each other?

Yeah.

Dr. Swenson

operated on me a couple years ago.

I had a face-lift.

Eyes, everything.

What?

I'm not 33, Fred.

I'm... I'm 42.

And see that guy over there?

That's my son, David.

Your son?

Yeah. Hey, uh...

why don't... why don't you give them some room?

Give them a... oh, come on, give them a little air

just so they can talk and what have you.

Let's give them a few minutes.

Why, Joanne?

Why didn't you tell me all this before?

Well, I was going to.

I just, um...

I was afraid that I might lose you.

Well, it's...

it's not like you've been totally honest with her, Fred.

I mean, you...

Not that it's any of my business or anything.

I just...

Your son?

Look, if you're going to hate me for this, I understand, but I...

I really don't think that you

should go through with this surgery,

and... and if it is dangerous,

I don't want you to do it.

I love you, just like you are.

Gary?

You want to make yourself useful?

Get that doctor back in here.

Okay, Fred.

Hey, Doc, uh, Fred would like to see you.

What did you decide, Fred?

Jim, uh...

you're going to kill me for this.

No problem.

It happens.

Gary, you happy now?

Yeah.

Folks.

This appears to be a wrap.

Let's get Mr. Meanwell back to his room

and get this OR scrubbed down.

Okay.

Bye, Jim. Here you go.

All right, right behind you.

Doctor, looks like we had a little problem here.

Oh, my God.

It's dopamine.

His IV wasn't attached?

Thank God we didn't operate.

His blood pressure would have dived

right through the floor.

Oh, my God.

He never would have survived.

So, what do you think?

Oh, wonderful.

It's just wonderful.

Well, I... I think it captures the real you.

At least, it did when I bailed you out.

I look insane.

Plus, I have repetitive whiplash injury from being thrown out

of two medical buildings in the same day.

Well, you got your picture in the paper, though.

Oh, yeah, and all my friends and family

are going to see it tomorrow.

Wait a minute.

Where is that photograph?

What photograph?

The original one, from yesterday.

I still got time to get it in tomorrow's paper.

Compared to this mug shot, I look like Paul Newman.

You threw it out.

I did?

Yeah.

All right.

All right, come on, let's go.

Go where?

Come on... they're not going to pick up

the garbage until tomorrow morning.

What are you, crazy? I'm not going in a Dumpster.

Fine, I'll get it myself.

Marissa, what do you say I make us both dinner?

Sure, why not?

The three of us.

All right, dinner for four.

Forget it, man- the food stinks here.

Like I said, it's a competitive world out there.

One day, you're up.

The next day, it's the Dumpster.

Oh, no.

My pictures.

Still, there's always hope...

so keep your chin up.

And don't forget to wipe off the schmutz.

I got your letter of resignation, Fred.

Are you sure you want to do this?

You're a valuable guy here.

I didn't save my job the other day.

Gary did.

I don't know how exactly, but he did.

And it made me realize something.

I don't want this job anymore.

You're not serious.

Fred's going into teaching.

And you made my decision

a whole lot easier, Sandy.

So, you did help Fred make his score.

Fred didn't need his score.

He's going to do what he wants to do.

Don't kid me.

Look, I want a shot at the brass ring, too, Gary,

and I'm not too fussy about how I get it.

I... I don't know how I can help you,

Sandy. Just take a look

at this buy order for Nokatech Systems.

Shall I load my personal portfolio with it?

Look, Sandy, I don't know.

Those are... those are high-tech stocks.

They're very volatile- I...

So, you're saying

that's a good bet?

Well...

I don't know, Sandy.

I mean, it's... it's a very personal decision.

We'll keep this between you and me.

Absolutely.

Thanks.

Hey, give me a call sometime.

I'll show you my upside.

I'll do that, Sandy.

Hey... so what did the Dragon Lady say?

A stock tip, if you can believe it.

Did you give her one?

No, I didn't.

At least, I think I didn't.

Yeah, I'll come by and audit that class of yours, huh?

Gary, you do that, buddy.

I'll see you around.

Take care... take care, Joanne.

Okay. You too, Gary. Hey, you, uh,

stop by the restaurant any time- we'll squeeze you in.

Count on it. Okay... okay.

Bye-bye. See you.

Adi�s.

No one likes to admit it.

It's an uncomfortable truth.

The human face is broadly divided

into two categories: winners and losers.