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What is that,
three in a row?

That would be four,
actually.

- Oh, God.
- Come on.

What do you say,
we go five outta nine?

So you can keep abusing me?
No, thank you.

- I'm done.
- Oh, come on.

I'll spot you three.

Game time's over, Wyatt.
They're here.

They're here?

You can set up
in the conference room.

Yeah.
No, I'm just...

Get set up in
the conference room.

- You did let him win, right?
- It wasn't easy.

The guy has the coordination
of a two-year-old.

I know, the last time these
venture capitalists came in,

I took him boxing to
calm him down.

I basically had to punch myself
in the face to let him win.

I don't get it.
I mean, if he's such a genius,

why does he get so nervous
around a bunch of investors?

Eh, you spend
two years working on

a satellite phone
that fits in your pocket

and then bet
the company on it.

You'd be a little
nervous too, I think.

The prototype...

I can't find it.
I don't know where I--

You mean this?

I don't know
what I'd do without you.

- Fail miserably.
- I would.

- Is that the...
- $20 million prototype, yes.

And you don't even
get to look at this bad boy

until after
we close the deal today.

Wow, they're
like storm troopers.

Storm troopers
don't write checks.

Now all you gotta do
is walk in there,

show them
how the phone works...

Right, and Suntech Digital
will be a new force

in global communications.
Let's knock 'em dead.

All right.

Wait, wait.
Where do you think you're going?

Into the room
with the people.

Wrong, that's
the adult table in there.

And you haven't
earned the privilege yet.

But I played
air hockey with him--

You need to
go back to the office

and file
a patent for the phone.

A patent? I don't
know how to file a patent.

- Figure it out.
- Can't we do that after--

No, and you keep talking,
I'm gonna start billing you.

And my time
runs $1,000 an hour.

But isn't this our time,
Mr. Hand?

I stand corrected.

Your Fast Times
at Ridgemont High quote,

that proves you
belong at the adult table.

Hey,
that's a great movie.

And it spoke
to a generation...

Hey, you busy?

Okay, have you
ever filed a patent before?

I just got back from
this meeting with Harvey

and he wants me
to file this patent,

but I have no idea what
that paperwork looks like.

So...any help in
this arena would be re--

Did Harvey call you
and tell you to do that?

If it isn't the golden boy.

You're Harvey's
project, right?

What's your name?
Mike, Mike Ross.

Gregory Boone.

So what are you doing here?

Weren't you signing some big
deal this afternoon downtown?

Well, evidently I haven't
earned the privilege yet.

Get the adult table speech?

Yeah, instead of
watching the deal close,

I get to file the patent.

Yeah, those suck.

Wait, you--you've done
one of these before?

Like 100.
Why?

Uh, uh, uh, uh.

Now.

It's okay,
you don't have to apologize.

I took care of it.

Patent claim.

I negotiated a deal
to get it done.

What are you talking about?

Gregory.
He agreed to file it for me.

And all I have to do is
proof his Bainbridge briefs.

Ah. That explains
why he said to give you this.

And why he called you a sucker.

He called me a what now?

Mike Ross, allow me to
introduce the Bainbridge briefs.

- Which stack?
- All of them.

Wait a minute,
are these all--

Still printing, yeah.
I'd give it about a half hour.

Um...that's six printers,
23 pages a minute, 30 minutes.

That's 4,140 pages.
Plus all this.

Which means the next time
you negotiate a deal,

I would suggest
to get your facts straight.

Uh...
I am a sucker.

Mm-hmm.

When did that happen?

[Ima Robot's Greenback Boogie

♪ See the money wanna stay
for your meal ♪

♪ get another piece of pie
for your wife ♪

♪ everybody wanna know
how it feels ♪

♪ everybody wanna see
what it's like ♪

♪ living in a beehive,
of your mind ♪

♪ me and Mrs.
busy, busy making money ♪

♪ all right ♪

♪ yes, hey, hey,
♪

♪ Suits 1x02 ♪
Errors and Omissions
Original Air Date on June 30, 2011

♪ Greenback Boogie ♪

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

Nice of you
to join us this morning.

For your information,
Mr. Sunshine,

I've been here
all night proofing.

That belongs to--
okay.

Where's my confirmation?

What?

The fact that you don't know
already concerns me.

Oh, you mean
the patent thing?

"The patent thing"
is the only piece of paper

that's holding up
our deal from yesterday.

Where is it?

It's on my desk.

Well, if it's not on mine
by the time I get back,

I'm gonna feed you to Louis.

No problem.

Please tell me
that you filed that--

Patent?
No, not yet.

I gave it to you yesterday.

At the same time
I gave you my Bainbridge briefs,

which you haven't finished.

I was here all night,
and I barely got through half.

And I was on hold
for almost 11 minutes

before I gave up on your patent,
so what's your point?

I swear I will
finish those filings,

but you have to give me
this patent confirmation

before Harvey gets back.

Sorry, golden boy.
Deal's a deal.

What do you
think you're doing?

Uh...I'm proofing briefs.
Why?

- Is there a problem?
- Yeah, there is.

That's Gregory's responsibility,
why are you handling it?

Oh, I...volunteered.

He didn't pawn it off on you?

- No.
- No.

I mean, he didn't
even want me to do it,

but you know,
I-I-I had some extra time.

So I insisted.

Congratulations.

You've shown loyalty
to your fellow associates.

I know Gregory tricked you
into doing his work.

I wanted to see how you react
when pressed about it.

You held up.

I respect that.

Thanks?

See, but I don't
understand something now.

If you didn't know how
to file a patent,

then why didn't
you just run to Harvey?

He was busy.

But you see, Mike,
that's why you come to see me.

Look, Mike, I know...
I can come across a bit...

Prickly.

But we're a team here.

That means I'm here to help.

Okay, all right.

So can you help me now?

I already have.

Are--

thank you, Louis.

Donna, blue is your color.

Is Harvey back?

No.
Can I put this on his desk?

Yes.

Will you tell him
I put it there hours ago?

What time
you want me to say?

- 11:00 am?
- Absolutely.

And then maybe I can use
my access to his bank accounts.

To buy myself
a house in the Hamptons.

- 12:15?
- No.

You wanted to see me?

Sit down.

I looked through your work on
the Bainbridge briefs.

Spectacular.

You caught the discrepancies

between listed assets and
potential assets.

That had a huge impact, Mike.

Yeah, I know.
Millions.

But anyone
would've caught that, right?

Um, out of the 50 associates
that are under purview,

not one of them
would've caught that.

You just have
this eye for detail, Mike.

I mean, no wonder
Harvey's so crazy about you.

It's amazing.
I mean, I really,

really, seriously
appreciate that.

Hey,
thank you, Louis.

That's nice.

You know that I pick a...

Pony out of the herd
every year, don't you?

- A pony?
- Oh, yeah.

Someone who shows potential.

Stamp my own little
brand on him.

Mm.

Are you that pony, Mike?

I...work for Harvey.

As you should.

Good.

Well, listen,
I have some work to get to.

So maybe we can meet
for lunch tomorrow at the club.

- Say, 1:00pm?
- Uh, you know, tomorrow...

I know I just
posed that as a question,

but I really
didn't mean it that way.

Hey, what's up?

We just heard from Wyatt.

He got a response
from the Patent Office.

And?

It's been denied.

What?

Evidently, there was
a similar claim.

Wait, what do you mean?
Somebody beat us to it?

No, someone beat you to it.

They filed
less than 24 hours ago,

which means you filed a day
later than you said you would.

I tried to tell you that
I didn't know how to do that.

And I told you to
figure it out.

And I did, and it got filed.

After you lied and said
you'd already followed through.

Okay,
what's gonna happen now?

I suggest
you get on the phone,

call the Patent Office,
and find out who beat us to it.

Then you're gonna have Donna
find any judge who will listen,

so we can get an injunction,

and stop whoever it is from
launching their product first.

Okay, got it.

Now I've gotta call Wyatt
and calm him down.

You think that's
gonna be a walk in the park?

Hey, Harvey...

Did you tell him it was me?

Why would I do that?
I'm responsible for you.

It was me.

They signed
the paperwork, Wyatt.

They can't pull out.

The patent dispute
is not an issue, okay?

No, they cut the check.
End of story.

I'm in court right now,
let me call you back.

So it's
Velocity Data Solutions.

Did you serve them
with notice of the hearing?

A billion dollar company.

The bigger they are,
the harder they fall.

Did you not
see the sign outside?

I'm just putting it away,
your honor.

It should already be
in your pocket.

But you were
already running late,

so perhaps
that's why it wasn't.

Let the records show that
the counsel is fined $1,000

for failing to follow
the posted rules of the court.

- Your honor, I didn't mean--
- And for mouthing off.

Mouthing off?

Another outburst like that,
and you will be escorted out.

Wow.

Mr. Salinger?

Your honor,
this is a waste of your time.

The U.S. Patent Office
is the only judicial body

that should be
handling this dispute.

Velocity Data Solutions
requests dismissal.

Your honor.
If I may?

- This injunction request--
- Counsel approach.

That's the exhibit filing?

Why wasn't I
given a courtesy copy?

Given the expedited nature
of this hearing, I--

Hand it to me.
Hand it to me.

And I would've assumed
that a lawyer

appearing before
a judge would come on time,

with his mouth shut, and
prepared with a courtesy brief.

- My apologies.
- Request denied.

Court adjourned for morning.

Better luck
next time, Harvey.

From now on, I want him
when I go against you.

Wait here.

- Your honor, I have--
- Send him in.

Counselor?

You asked to see me.

You must
have something to say.

Excluding
friends, associates,

and the clients
that I represent,

there are very few people

that I'm on
a first name basis with.

And I've never had anyone,

let alone
a judge I've never met,

address me as Harvey
in open court.

But if you're gonna screw me,

I guess it's only fair
that you call me by name.

I could have
you brought up on review

for talking to me like that.

Then we can
get it all on record.

- Get what?
- Whatever it is

that you seem to have against me
for no apparent reason.

I have a solid argument for
any reasonable judge

to grant my injunction.
So solid it begs the question,

why do you have it in for me?

And I don't even know
your first name.

Really?

- My wife never mentioned it?
- Your wife?

The woman you had
an affair with last month?

Hey wait, what happened in there?

Donna, the address for
that fundraiser

at the gallery last month,

I need you to text it to me,
and clear my afternoon.

Hey, where are we going?

You're going back
to the office to file

an interference claim
with the Patent Office.

Okay.
Wait, what's that?

It's how they determine
who wins these situations.

It's not always who filed first,
so we have a chance.

So why didn't we
do that in the first place?

Because it takes longer,

and I wanted to head
Velocity off at the pass.

Hey, where you going?

To iron out a wrinkle.

If you're really interested,
come back tomorrow around 1:00.

The afternoon light really
makes this canvas come alive.

Pardon me, I was wondering,
would I get a discount

for being the guy you
cheated on your husband with?

Can you
excuse me for a second?

What are you doing here?

I had a hearing in front of
the judge this morning,

it didn't go very well.

- Why did you lie to him?
- I'm sorry.

I mean, I recall
you being tipsy that night,

but I'm finding it
hard to believe

that your memory is so cloudy,

you forgot
I sent you home in a cab.

After humiliating me.

I was the perfect gentleman.

Yes, exactly.

I fall all over myself
making a pass,

and you do the right thing
and send me home.

I'm sorry
you felt humiliated,

but I told you, I don't
sleep with married women.

Right.
The moral code.

No. It's too big
of a pain in the ass.

As evidenced by my experience
in court this morning.

What do you
want from me, Harvey.

I need you
to tell him the truth.

- I can't.
- Yes, you can.

- Why didn't you just tell him?
- He's never gonna believe me.

And what makes you think
he'll believe me?

Because he'd want to.

Our whole marriage, Donald's
only cared about one thing.

His sterling reputation.

Never overturned.

I was--when he found out
you and I had...

He changed.

He looked at me
for the first time again.

Like I mattered.

I'm sorry.
I can't tell him.

No, this is a request from
the applicant for--

yes, but I have up
to a year before you--

- hello--no, I can't hold...
- You ready?

I can't go to the club,
I have to do this for Harvey.

Yes, the person before you
said that I had

to file the blue form--
No, no, no, no.

We have a court reserved in
30 minutes, we have to go now.

Yes, I'm trying
to file the oral hearing.

But what you people
keep doing is trans--hello?

Hello?

You work for me, too.

And that means
when Harvey is not here,

you gotta listen
to what I say, Mike.

Louis, this claim needs
to be filed today.

Harvey's orders.

In that case...
Gregory!

I'm on your side, remember?

Watch this.
Yes?

Hi.
Patent interference claim...

Can you have it filed
before we get back?

Cool? Thanks.
Let's go.

What's with the...?

Who's winning?

- You need to warm up?
- No, I'm good.

You serve first.
Come on, show me what you got.

15-love.

All right,
you wanna play like that?

Let's do this thing.
Come on.

Wait, wait.

Hey, Tom.

Game.
Hey, Tom.

We should definitely
have lunch to talk about--

I mean, I have seen
your approach shot, man.

You have really improved.
I'm not kidding.

You know,
maybe you can play now,

me and my associate
were just starting up.

How about you two against me,
I'll just play--

Tom, seriously,
I'll even--

I'll spot you three sets.

All right,
I'll see you later then.

- Isn't that, uh...?
- It's Tom Keller.

Yeah, the premiere
fantasy sports guy, right?

That's him.
Yeah, I play it ever year.

Yeah, you and five million
other fantasy footballers.

I mean, the guy generates
200 million per annum, right?

And he still uses his fraternity
brother as a general counsel.

I mean, someone with that
many assets just makes me sick.

Okay.

- So is it my serve?
- Let's hit the showers.

But, wait...

Sorry, sir, but--

No introductions necessary,
we're on a first name basis.

I brought you a present.

Yours to keep,
after you sign my injunction.

- A pen.
- It's custom.

French.
Le bic.

Oh, my earlier ruling
wasn't clear enough for you?

Crystal, but I didn't
want you to suffer for it.

You see,
if you don't sign my injunction,

there's gonna be a lawsuit.

And when the next judge
sees all the facts,

he's gonna overturn your ruling.

You may be right.

But by then your clients
will have dumped you.

You may be right,
but that sterling reputation

that you value so highly...
Down the tubes.

Which would matter,
except for one thing.

I've decided to leave the bench.

Try my hand at litigation.

And I'm your last case.

Divorce will do that.
Make you wanna change your life.

- You filed for divorce?
- Soon enough.

Perhaps we could discuss

a little quid pro quo
before I do.

I'm listening.

You sign a document that says
you slept with my wife,

I'll give you your injunction.

And why would
you want me to do that?

To prevent her from taking me
for half of everything I own.

So what you're saying
is you'd like to blackmail me.

I'm saying
we could both benefit.

And since you're
the one who screwed me,

I'd say you owe me one.

Harvey Specter.

What are you
hiding from me, Harvey?

Wyatt, do you remember

six months ago
when you got all nervous

and you thought everything
was falling apart?

Yeah, yeah.
But this is a little different.

That's what you said then.

And a year ago,
and 18 months ago.

And we agreed that
when this happens again,

I'll remind you of those times

and I'll hang up.
Okay, Harvey--

Trust me,
it's for your own good.

Harvey,
please don't hang up--

Hey, Tom.
You just missed a great game.

We were, uh...
We were just re--

I was beating him.

You know, ten years ago,

before these dot-com
millionaires,

there were men of substance
in this club.

You know, men who understood
how business gets done.

Well, maybe he's just not
interested in talking business

while he's in a towel.
Like, he's not interested

because he doesn't
think I'm cool.

And he's a pothead who thinks

that anybody who
doesn't smoke is a nerd.

I mean...

so I treat my body
like a temple?

Does that make me uncool?
I don't think so.

No.

But on the other hand...

You kinda seem his type.

- Why do you say that?
- Because you're young.

And you think
of yourself as...hip.

Whatever, I guess.
You know, I'm sure you

enjoyed
the occasional bong hit.

No.
No, I don't smoke.

I mean, that's just
a little strange.

Why is it strange?

I mean, because
the drug test that you took--

well, that I made you take--
would indicate otherwise.

You're not gonna
dispute it now, are you?

Relax, Mike.

Relax.

I'm not offended.

I'm not even surprised.

And in fact,
in this instance,

we can use this
to our advantage.

What are you
talking about, Louis?

I'm just saying,
you know, back in the day,

to woo a client you
would take him to dinner,

you would buy him a drink.

But that's
not gonna work with Tom.

Not in a million years.
Not with me, anyway.

But with
someone of his generation

who shares
the same proclivities?

You saying you want me
to smoke pot with him?

I'm saying you can
help me land him as a client.

That's the only
reason I'm here, isn't it?

No, Mike.
Stop.

Just stop, okay?

I assure you, no one was
more disappointed than me

when I found out the results
of your drug test, okay?

Then I had to say to myself,
"Louis, do what you do,

make lemonade."

And if I don't?

You're a smart kid.

And I really
wanna see you succeed.

Ball's in your court.

Hey, Tom, I was
just gonna tell you,

I wanted to--
okay.

Dude creeps me out, man.

And he never
wears a towel, ever.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Hey, I know you must
hear this all the time,

but totally addicted
to your website, man.

All right, who placed sixth
in passing yards last year?

Carson Palmer.

3,970.

How many sacks
did James Hall have?

11?

Uh-uh.
Ten and a half.

- Yeah, I know, I rounded up.
- Well, your league doesn't

or I would've
come in better than 20th.

Your Ross's Raiders,
right?

Yeah, Mike Ross.

- Tom Keller.
- Good to meet you.

Congratulations, man, you
got a nice little team there.

Yeah.

No, if Roethlisberger
hadn't let you down,

you'd have been top ten
for sure, I'm telling you.

Yeah, well,
that's what happens

when you get high
before the draft, right?

You get high?

Mm.

Oh.

How's it going with Harvey?

Me?

Uh...It's...
You know, it's good.

I'm learning.

A lot of learning.
Bye.

What's black and white
and gonna cost you dearly?

Whoa.

Took me all morning
to file this, golden boy.

You owe me
and I won't forget it.

Oh, God!
Thank you.

You smell papery.

Wyatt,
it doesn't happen immediately.

The paperwork's coming.

Don't worry about it, okay?

Boom.
There you go, look at that.

Wyatt, let me
call you back, okay?

Five minutes.
Bye.

- What's this?
- What is this?

That's confirmation
of the interference claim

which I proofed.
Up top.

What, you think
you're working in a fraternity?

You don't barge in here
when I'm on the phone.

And why you so flushed?

- Why am I so what?
- Your face is red.

It looks like
you've been in the sun.

Um...Yeah, I--

I--this morning, Louis
took me to the tennis club.

He didn't give you
the speech about the, um,

the ponies, did he?
Oh, my God.

How he likes
to cut one from the herd.

The ponies.

Was he wearing the headband?

You know about the headband?
With the...

Oh, my God, are you
kidding me with that guy?

Hey, if you guys were
playing tennis all morning,

how'd you have time
to file this?

Uh...

He--it was this morning--

actually,
I was on the phone with them,

and Louis helped me--
Look at me.

And he did this
snapping thing, and Gregory--

Look at me.

You're high.

Get out.

Harvey, you don't understand.
Louis--

Out.

Donna?

Can you get
Wyatt back on the line?

What are you doing in here?

It's the ladies room.

I'm sorry.

Look, can you do me a favor?
Can we--

can we just keep this
our little secret?

Why are your eyes so red?

I need some air.

You took Mike Ross on
a field trip today?

- Yep.
- Aside from subjecting him

to you in a towel,
what happened?

Well, I beat him in
straight sets,

if that's what you're get--
Don't play dumb, Louis.

Tell me what you did to him.
What're you, jealous?

Harvey, come on, the kid
is starving for a mentor,

someone to give him
some advice.

So maybe if you
just took the time--

I'm telling you right now,
you try to move in on him--

Harvey,
where is this coming from?

Harvey,
I've got the outside counsel

for Velocity on the line.
Put them through.

What happened after
you smoked with that guy?

- Here.
- I just got paranoid.

I felt bad for lying to him,

I told him that Louis
put me up to it

and that he couldn't
trust him.

So what did he say?

He said that Louis
gave him the creeps anyway.

You know,
he's never gonna hire him.

Okay,
you have to tell Harvey.

I tried,
he wasn't listening.

So then go home
and tell him tomorrow.

Oh, God, you should've
seen his face.

- We had a deal.
- What deal?

- Thanks for hearing me out.
- No, what're you talking about?

What deal?
It's nothing.

I just promised that
I wouldn't...

Do anything stupid
and let him down, and I did.

Wait, you let him down?

No, the way I see it,
he let you down.

What?

He's gotta know
what Louis is capable of,

so if he didn't
listen to what happened

it's 'cause
he didn't want to.

Mike, you need to tell him.

I don't know how often
you come across Harvey,

but he's not exactly
the listening type.

Right.

But he's also the first person
that would tell you

never to take no for an answer
from anyone.

Harvey, how you doing
this fine day?

I'm ready to hear
your settlement offer, George.

Cutting to the chase,
I like that.

What's the number?

Ten million.

That's half what we spent
developing the prototype.

And ten million
more than you'll get,

the way the wind's blowing.
Yeah, well, winds can change.

And you and I both know
the injunction

will get overturned
on appeal.

I don't know
anything of the kind.

Then why are you calling
with an offer at all?

15, that's
as high as I'll go.

- Okay, I'm hanging up now.
- 20 million, that's it.

The offer's good for 24 hours.

And I'm sure
I don't have to remind you

that you're legally required
to present this to your client.

Is he free?

Not for you.

How much did he tell you?

He didn't have to tell me,
I read it on his face.

- You heard him.
- Maybe he did the same to me.

Get in there.

And be careful.

Harvey.

We talked about this, right?
Barging into my office.

I'm not leaving
until you hear me out.

- Wanna bet?
- You owe it to me.

- Oh, I owe it to you?
- Yeah.

Look, this is
not my fault, all right?

- Louis made me do it.
- Louis did, right.

He put a gun to your head
and made you smoke pot.

Yeah, he did.
He pulled out the drug test--

which I failed, by the way.

And then he told me
that if I didn't smoke pot

to help him land this
new client, that he'd fire me.

Come on.

It's not so different
than asking someone

out for drinks, is it?
You and I had a deal.

I'm sorry.

And if next time
Louis asks you to do something

that I told you not to do,
what then?

I told you that
I did not have a choice.

Oh, because
he had a gun to your head.

- Yes!
- What are your choices

if someone
puts a gun to your head?

What are you talking about?
You do what they say

or they shoot you.
Wrong.

You take the gun,
or you pull out a bigger one,

or you call their bluff.

Or you do any one of
146 other things.

If you can't
think for yourself,

maybe you
aren't cut out for this.

No, I can and I am.
Look, I did what I had to do.

I made the best out
of a bad situation.

Which is what I am good at.

Which is what you hired me
to do in the first place.

Yeah, I hired you
and I expect your loyalty.

So if Louis asks you to do
something like that,

you come to me first.
Oh, right.

Like when I came to you
and you told me

that I couldn't sit
at the adult table, right.

I remember that.
Or-or when you told me

to go file the patent
by myself, like that?

- Excuse me?
- You know what?

Maybe it's time
you showed me some loyalty.

Do you know how long it was

before I got
to sit at the adult table?

It was when
I brought in my first client.

Which I don't recall
you having done.

And when you screwed up
that patent

and Wyatt
went ape shit on me,

I didn't put that on you,
I took it on myself.

Because that's my job.

And it's your job to do
what I say when I say it.

So if you're
talking about loyalty,

you better goddamn earn it.

You're right.

I said I'm sorry and
I meant it.

Harvey...

I want you to tr--
I need you to trust me, okay?

And I will
work as long as I can,

as hard as it takes
to make that happen.

I mean,

you don't even
have to pay me, all right?

I'll work for free.

For free.

What, I meant...not forever.

Just as, like,
a probationary thing.

Donna,
tell Wyatt I'm on my way over.

Do you never
have to press a button?

Got it.
And Jessica wants to see

Mike in her office right now.

Louis told me
what you did at the club.

I bet he didn't
tell you the whole story.

He told me enough
to impress me.

New business is hard.

People will
promise you the world

but until they
sign that engagement letter,

it means nothing.

Now I don't know
what you told Tom Keller,

but bring a client in
at your age...

That reminds me of Harvey.

Jessica,
before we get started,

there's
something in the retainer

that Tom pointed out.

It's not a big deal, really.

- We were just--
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

Like I said,
we're here to make you happy.

Right?

I thought you
wanted nothing to do with him?

I didn't.
But then I thought about it.

And he might not
be a very good person,

but a little deviousness

is the sort of thing
you look for in a good lawyer.

I mean, the other guy
I was with, he was too nice.

We were buddies,
we went to school together.

It's time I grew up,
got a real shark.

Well, I had no intention

of being that way
to get your business.

That's exactly why I insisted
that you be my point man.

I want someone
being devious for me,

not to me.

- What?
- It's just...

Louis would've never
told Jessica that I existed,

let alone that I helped him
if you hadn't done that.

Hey, the way I see it,
the three of us stick together,

we'll make a pretty good team.

You know,
I got a better idea.

$20 million?

They claim
it's their final offer.

That's what it cost to
make the prototype.

Not to mention my entire savings
and two years of my life.

Wyatt...

They know we're stalled
on our injunction.

Which means, to them,
they're giving you a fair price

as an insurance policy
against the risk of possibly

losing the interference claim.

I don't care
what it is to them.

It's not fair.

Fair or not,
it's their final offer.

You think I should take it?

I think you should tell them
to shove it up their ass.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm terribly sorry,

but we have a problem.

What problem?

We came down here
because you led us to believe

that your client
was ready to accept

our settlement agreement.
And I thought he would.

Look, I took him the offer.

I presented it to him,
and recommended that he take it.

In fact,
I urged him to take it.

You know what he told me to do?

He told me to tell you to
shove it up your ass.

Now I know you didn't have
me come all the way down here

just to tell me that.

You're right.
That's not all Wyatt said.

He said rather than
spending years

fighting this out in court,
in 48 hours

he's gonna put this online.

That's a little rough,
but you get the idea.

What are you showing us?
Is this a website?

Available at
the Suntech domain name.

All the design plans and
calculations have been uploaded.

- Is this online now?
- Can be.

Which means the whole world
will have access to my designs.

They'll be ten knock-offs
of that phone

before you can catch
a cab back to your headquarters.

- We could file an injunction.
- Not before tomorrow.

And once
that technology is out there,

good luck putting
that genie back in the bottle.

Well, then we'll sue.

But my client won't
have any money.

What he will have is credit
for the initial design.

Which, after he incorporates
under a different name,

will be worth
a hell of a lot more money

than the $20 million that
you're offering.

And you're saying that
this was all your client's idea.

Yes.

That's what I'm saying.

Thought you weren't coming.

I had to settle a case first.

You have the paperwork
we talked about?

What is this?

It's a copy of
the judicial conduct codes.

A friend of mine works at
the Attorney General's office

gave it to me.
We had a nice chat about you.

I told him if you were willing
to blackmail someone once,

chances are
you'd done it before.

He's very anxious to meet you.

You think you can
get away with screwing my wife

and then have me investigated?

You actually have it
the wrong way around.

The only thing I've
done so far

is have you investigated.

What?

I never
actually slept with Lauren.

But I knew
you'd never believe me

so I kept my mouth shut.

But now that
she's getting a divorce,

my policy no longer applies.

And of course, she's free to
date whoever she pleases.

And she pleases me.

Enjoy your evening, Donald.

I've always
heard about this place.

Which room is Hoffa buried in?

Not sure, but...

The Arc of the Covenant's
just down the hall on the left.

When you're
finished down here,

I'd like you to come upstairs

and start putting together
a settlement memorandum.

- They went for it?
- Thanks to your idea.

Well, I mean,
it wasn't really my idea--

They're settling for
400 million.

Okay, yeah, that was my idea.

So does this mean
I get to keep my job?

I wanna
talk to you about that.

- Before you do, Harvey--
- Do we have to have

a conversation about
how you keep interrupting me?

Um...

Look, sometimes when
someone pulls a gun on you,

instead of bullets
it's filled with blanks.

What's this?

It's a copy of
your drug test results.

But this says I passed.

You did.

Louis showed me a fake?

I'm gonna go
have a talk with him.

You know what,
why don't you let me do it?

You think you're ready
for the adult table?

What, didn't you hear?
I just landed my first client.

Why do you think
I'm showing you this now

and not going straight
to Louis?

- Go easy on him.
- Nope.

Good boy.

You lied.

That other drug test
you showed me was a fake.

How'd you figure that out?

Someone once told me
I have an eye for detail

when it comes
to important paperwork.

Well, maybe you're not
as good as you think you are,

or you
would've caught it sooner.

Okay, so this was
all some sort of test?

You blackmail me,
you jeopardize my job?

Mike, stop.
Stop.

We all came out ahead,
didn't we?

That new client's
gonna bring us millions.

Jessica knows your name now.

It's a win-win.

You're right.

She does know my name.

Which is why she'll listen
when I tell her

exactly what happened.

Okay,
but before you do that

it is...that time again,
isn't it?

What time?

Pee in a cup time.

Oh.

And now you know I'd fail.

Of course,
you can run to mommy,

tell her your story,
and take your chances.

Or you can
take the test and trust

that I'll keep it to myself
as my way of thanking you.

Ah, you know,
I actually did some reading

of the Pearson-Harmon
drug policy as well.

It turns out that you
have to wait three months

before you can
request another drug test.

See, it's a little detail that
you might've missed.

So, drink up.

Oh, and I spoke to Tom Keller.

He says that he feels
he'd be best served

with a combination of
me and Harvey.

I think you'll get
that call in the morning.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

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