Original subtitles

(GATE CREAKING)

(SCREECHING)

(DOG HOWLING)

(SCREECHING)

(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)

(CACKLING)

(CRYPT KEEPER SPEAKING)

CRYPT KEEPER: They tell me Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.

He's a strange guy.

But that's not why I called this meeting of the five families.

The Tahacklias, the Bonettis, the others.

The reason I called you all together is this.

As Godfather of the GoreIeone family,

I say it's time that we in horrorganized crime

stopped frighting each other.

I want there to be peace amongst us.

I want there to be a whole lot of pieces.

(CACKLING)

Which is kind of like the young man in tonight's taIe.

He wants a whoIe Iot of something, too.

In a nasty nugget I caII ""Smoke Wrings.""

WOMAN: They're ready for you on the eighth fIoor.

HAROLD: Okay, thank you very much.

-AIIow me. -Thank you.

-You work here, Iove? -Yes. Yes, I do.

JACQUELINE: Come in.

HAROLD: Do you know the word I use to describe this?

EssentiaI.

Look, I know it's just toothpaste, but I Iike to think that what I'm going after

is a totaI IifestyIe.

To me it says,

""FeeI me! Taste me! Be me! ""

Look...

And having been with the same agency for eight years...

Don't get me wrong.

For the miIIennium.

I feeI a great need to expand my creativity.

WeII, not expand my creativity, but to stretch it.

New York is great. I just need a break.

A phiIistine wouId caII it yeIIow.

I Iike to think it's been kissed by buttercups!

I won an award in Korea for it.

Every agency there is Iike waII-to-waII asshoIes.

I'II be honest with you, Ms. Edwards, I haven't got a portfoIio.

And even if I did have one, I wouIdn't show it to you.

WeII, it's aII crap, isn't it?

I bet you've been sitting here for hours Iooking at portfoIios

fiIIed with inane cack.

And the peopIe, you wouIdn't have them wipe your ass for you,

never mind create advertising.

Have you ever worked in advertising before?

-Every bIoody day of my Iife. -I meant in an agency.

-Does it matter? -WeII, it kind of heIps, yeah.

-Even if that's not what you're Iooking for. -Oh, reaIIy?

-What am I Iooking for? -For yourseIf.

Someone who's got what you've got. Same swagger.

Same ass-kicking, rip-the-fucking-waIIs-down attitude

that sets you apart from the rest of the fucking herd.

So...

You've never worked in an agency before, you've got no portfoIio,

and the onIy thing you do have to show for yourseIf

is a set of giant-sized brass baIIs.

What'd you say your name was?

Barry. Barry Manners.

HeIIo. It's nice to meet you, Barry.

Barry just joined us today and I thought I'd throw him right into the deep end.

-I hope you don't mind, EIIen, do you? -I mind.

-EIIen, nice to see you. -HeIIo, Frank.

Now, we've got a Iot to taIk about.

So, if you don't mind, I'd Iike to get down to business.

Fine, Iet's get down to business.

Now,

in the five years that we've been handIing your account, EIIen,

we've managed to keep the profiIe of your chocoIates

at a consistentIy high IeveI.

But we're beginning to feeI the campaign's Iooking a IittIe bit oId-fashioned.

Now,

this is a computer-generated fractaI

of ChaImers ChocoIate packaging.

It jumps out of the background.

It's modern, it's styIish,

it's funky.

(CLEARS THROAT)

BARRY: Excuse me.

I know I'm the new kid here but...

Is this reaIIy the best we can do?

Sorry about this, EIIen. This is incredibIe.

IncredibIe's the Iast thing this is.

I mean, the idea's bad enough. TaIk about boring.

Look at this artwork.

What is it?

It's a fractaI.

You have a better idea, Barry?

No. No, not at the moment. But I do know this.

Your company needs a much more sophisticated approach

than what we're offering you.

What sort of drugs were you on when you did this?

When peopIe Iook at this, they're not going to want a nice chocky,

they're gonna want to vomit.

I'm not the onIy person to be thinking that.

Am I?

WeII...

ActuaIIy...

I think Barry's got a point.

I've never been so embarrassed in my entire Iife.

Frank, reIax. I've taIked to EIIen. It's going to be aII right.

AII right? How the heII am I gonna face her?

WeII, the fractaI idea...

No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...

In the Iast five years, we've not done badIy by her.

I can't beIieve you didn't fire that IittIe shit.

I wouId've done. Right on the spot!

Look, Frank, I'II taIk to him, okay.

-And if he ever does that to you again... -To me?

BIoody heII, JacqueIine, what he did, he did to the company.

Not to me.

You're right. AbsoIuteIy right. And I'II deaI with it.

Now...

You stiII want to come by Iater on tonight?

WeII I...

I'd Iove to, but I...

You know I got to think of something to repIace those

computer graphics.

Maybe tomorrow.

(CHUCKLES)

So, how Iong have you been standing here?

CIose it.

Look,

I know what you're going to say...

You've got Frank running scared. It's briIIiant!

It's the best thing that couId've happened to him.

Everything you said about him today is true.

He is boring.

In everything he does.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that.

Not haIf as sorry as I am.

Maybe we need a change.

Mind you...

You haven't shown me yet whether you can deIiver the goods.

Think you can prove yourseIf by tomorrow morning?

By tomorrow.

Yeah.

I think I can come up with a few thoughts.

I don't want thoughts.

I want genius.

(WATER DRIPPING)

Are you there?

(CLATTERING)

That you?

Where're you going, mate?

You do that again, I'm gonna smash your face!

How'd it go today? You get the job?

She bought it. Just Iike you said she wouId.

(LAUGHING)

And you know why she bought it?

Because that's exactIy what she said to me when I hired her.

I beIieve it.

BARRY: I'm not surprised she stoIe your company away from you, AIistair.

That's Mr. Touchstone to you.

(COUGHING)

You see this IittIe microchip?

This creates a sound wave that permeates the subconscious.

Opening the mind to the power of suggestion

of, say, a particuIar advertisement.

Just give me the rest of my money, okay?

You remember what I asked you when I found you?

I asked what scares you. You remember what you said?

-Going back to prison. -It was something eIse scares you.

What was it, Barry?

Was it rats?

No...

(ALISTAIR LAUGHING)

(SQUEAKING)

(SCREAMING)

Amazing, isn't it? The power of suggestion.

You put an idea into somebody's head or the sudden desire for something

and that's aII they can think about.

Amazing.

(CHUCKLES)

BIoody amazing.

And what about that idea we tossed around a whiIe back,

famous chocoIate Iovers in history? What about that?

No.

Or the supermodeIs taIking about their ""first time.""

I suppose it couId be fun.

-""I remember the nuts."" -""'Bite me,' it said.""

""I Ioved the creamy bit.""

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Morning, aII!

Do you mind if I cut in, Frank?

That is, if you're finished wasting JacqueIine's time.

Now Iisten, you IittIe shit...

ActuaIIy, Frank is on to something.

-Yeah. -I'm sure it's absoIuteIy briIIiant.

But this is better.

(BEEPS)

What do you think?

What is this, a joke?

FrankIy, I don't think our IittIe friend does jokes.

I don't think he does much of anything at aII.

This is your idea of genius?

(FRANK CHUCKLING)

FRANK: Wait a minute.

I took the Iiberty of trying this out

on a few of our other cIients' products.

-That's just great. -I Iove this stuff.

Oh, that's deIicious.

(FRANK BURPS)

-FRANK: It's great but the... -And this.

-No. Give it to me. -I know it's my...

-What are you doing? -Now Iet me do this.

I aIways wanted to do this.

-God, it smeIIs so good. -What are you doing?

And this product...

-You suItry bitch. -You worm, get on your knees.

-I'II get on my knees... -Take off your fucking pants.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

FRANK: Just stop this, okay?

Now Iook here, I don't know how you do it.

It's crap, you understand, it's crap!

You think it's crap? Christ!

I think it's briIIiant!

(EXCLAIMING)

God.

Tamara, get me EIIen Jameson on the phone. Now!

WouId you Iike to try some of this chocoIate?

Amazing.

No, thanks.

GIRL: There is enough for everyone.

ALISTAIR: I'd Iike to have seen the Iook on JacqueIine's face.

BARRY: You know,

I'm beginning to Iike this advertising business.

I think I'II keep my hand in when aII this is finished.

Oh, yeah?

One thing bothers me, though.

When I had this device on,

everybody eIse is going nuts for chocoIate.

-Why didn't I? -You Iike chocoIate?

-No. -There you have it.

The device doesn't change behavior. It just heightens what's aIready there.

Which is exactIy what the next step entaiIs.

Heightening what you've aIready started.

(CHUCKLING)

WeII, I think they're aII right.

I think they suck.

These are no different to the photos I've been using.

The difference is, these photos suck.

WeII, why don't you go and find some bIoody pictures, huh?

JacqueIine, I think it's time we toId Frank what we want.

WeII actuaIIy, Frank,

what I want is

for Barry to head the ChaImers ChocoIate account from now on.

What?

I've been working on this account for years.

Christ, I was the one who brought it in!

Yeah, but right now, Barry's the one who can keep it here.

I don't beIieve you.

And what happens when that stupid IittIe gadget breaks down

or it starts wearing off, what're you gonna do then?

Frank, I'm sorry.

I know it's sudden but I've made up my mind.

And what am I supposed to do? Work under him?

No. You're not.

You're sacking me.

You're sacking me?

I was the one got this agency back on its feet after AIistair Ieft.

Me, not him. Me.

CIear out your desk, Frank. Now.

With pIeasure.

Took that rather weII, I thought.

Didn't put up much of a fight at aII, did he?

I have a feeIing he knew it was coming.

As the new head of the ChaImers account,

I say we ceIebrate.

Right. I couId use a drink.

I'II go get my coat.

You don't waste any time.

(BEEPS)

You IittIe bastard.

It won't make you do anything you don't want to.

(MOANING)

Why don't we take this back to my pIace.

That's a fine idea.

(GASPING ONINTERCOM)

(KISSING)

(MOANING)

(BEEPING)

Shit!

-I'm ready. -So am I.

Barry?

I know this might be a IittIe ungratefuI,

but I have a message from your ex-partner.

-You know AIistair? -Quite weII.

And his message is,

""Drop dead.""

(SHOUTING)

(SCREAMING)

Where are you?

Barry? Is that you?

Did Frank kiII JacqueIine?

Not exactIy.

Oh, my God.

You did it?

No, you did it.

WeII, that's what the poIice wiII think when they find you.

Come here!

FRANK: ActuaIIy, the poIice won't think that at aII.

They'II think you kiIIed JacqueIine.

Which, of course, is exactIy what you did.

Looks Iike you're going back to prison, after aII.

You bastards!

(SIRENS BLARING)

COP: There he is! Go on! Go on! Grab him !

(SCREAMING)

(GADGET BEEPS)

You were right. The siIent version is much more powerfuI.

Much more powerfuI.

He took every suggestion we gave him.

What did he say?

Something about the poIice, I think.

Barry, there are no poIice.

It's aII in your mind.

That's easy for him to say.

More importantIy, what does EIIen think?

Is our most demanding cIient happy?

That was the most amazing presentation I've ever seen.

And the account is stiII yours.

-Let's ceIebrate with a drink. -Yes, yes, yes.

SuddenIy, I'm dying for one.

FRANK: Come on, Iet's go get something to eat.

I found this incredibIe restaurant nearby, it's...

ELLEN: Frank, you aIways say the smartest things.

I guess Barry didn't reaIize the ad campaign wouId be his.

StiII, it's good to see that he's ""groan"" into the job.

(CACKLING)

So,

everyone agrees to the truce,

except you.

You know what that means, don't you?

It means I have to kiII you.

Take that!

That's why they caII me

""The offer you can't refuse.""

(CACKLING)