All language subtitles for The.West.Wing.S03E18.WEBRip.x264-FGT

Tell me what
the problem is, Toby.

Uh, I'm Sam, sir.

I'm the Deputy
Communications Director.

I'm Leo McGarry--

White House
Chief of Staff.

Well, I'm personal aide
to the President.

But I'm a speechwriter.

I'm the Deputy Chief of Staff.

Which I guess makes me Deputy
Deputy Chief of Staff.

I'm the Press Secretary.

It's an unavoidable conflict
of interest.

I'm Josiah Bartlet--
President of the United States.

Whoever's on the printer,
get off... now.

MAN:
That's me.

Get off.

SAM:
You want to make it clear
that we're pushing for Slovenia

and possibly the
Baltic States--

Estonia, Latvia,
Lithuania.

Not Fredonia? We're going
to leave Fredonia out, there?

The point is, the zero option's
off the table.

* Hooray
for Captain Spalding... *

TOBY:
Can we please...?

Hey, aren't we
pretty much admitting

all the countries we
formed NATO to fight?

Yes.
Then why not
dissolve it?

We like
the bomber jackets.

See, when you
make a joke...

My jokes are funny.

Fredonia was
pretty good.
Heard it.

I'll give you $500

if you perform "Lydia
the Tattooed Lady"

at next year's Gridiron.

She's got to
get in there.

Can we talk
about sugar
subsidies?

We're not done talking
about the summit.

It's a two-day
grip and grin.

And, you know,
you of all people--

the Russians finally
elect a reformer,
and you still...

20 years in the KGB
and an election

that would make
Tammany Hall look

like the League
of Woman Voters?

I'm not sure that
qualifies as a...

C.J.?

There was a fire

at the King Fatah Middle School
in Medina.

17 girls died in the fire
when they were prevented

from coming out onto the street

and rescue workers were
prevented from saving them.

What was
preventing them?

The Muttawa.

The girls weren't dressed
properly.

Don't comment.

I haven't spoken
to the President

to Leo, to State...
to anybody.

You guys want to muzzle me
before I go in there

speak now
or forever hold your peace.

God knows it's not likely
I'm going to.

Let's get a good spot.

( clears throat )

C.J.:
Good morning.

PRESS:
Good morning, C.J.

I have some
schedule details
on the summit.

Air Force One will depart
Andrews at 7:00 p.m. Friday

arriving in Helsinki
4:00 a.m. Eastern time.

That's 11:00 a.m.
Saturday local.

Presidents Bartlet and Chigorin
will have their first meeting

at 3:00 at Mantyniemi--
that's a change.

Photo-op, stills only

at the beginning
of the meeting.

ALL:
C.J.?

What does the President see

as the goals of the summit?

Well, first to meet the new
Russian President

but they share the aspiration

of building a secure
and undivided Europe.

C.J., you're aware of the fire

that happened
at King Fatah Middle School?

Yeah. That's a tragedy.
Chris?

Saudi news is reporting
that rescuers were prevented

from getting to several
female students

by the religious police.

Yeah. I read that, too. Steve?

CHRIS:
Does the White House
have a comment?

C.J.:
I literally just got this
a minute and a half ago.

I haven't spoken
to the President

or Chief of Staff, State
or anyone in Communications.

This is just me.

Well, do you have a comment?

I don't, no.

ALL:
C.J.

STEVE:
I'm sorry, C.J.

but you're not outraged
by this?

( fingers drumming )

Outraged?

I'm barely surprised.

This is a country

where women aren't allowed
to drive a car.

They're not allowed
to be in the company of any man

other than a close relative.

They're required to adhere
to a dress code

that would make a Maryknoll nun
look like Malibu Barbie.

They beheaded 121 people
last year

for robbery, rape,
and drug trafficking.

They have no free press,
no elected government

no political parties

and the Royal Family allows
the Religious Police

to travel in groups of six,
carrying nightsticks

and they freely
and publicly beat women...

but "Brutus is
an honorable man."

17 schoolgirls were forced
to burn alive

because they weren't
wearing the proper clothing.

Am I outraged?

No, Steve.

No, Chris.

No, Mark.

That is Saudi Arabia,
our partners in peace.

Bonnie then Scott.

who worked here
before I did?

Where'd he work?

He worked
for the President.

No. What's his
first name?

I don't know.

A kid wrote a letter
to the President

saying that when he was Governor
and campaigning

that he met his assistant,
Mr. Farley.

It's probably
one of the guys
from early on.

I didn't really
know any of them.

Yeah, except it couldn't
have been that early on

'cause the kid
says they met

when his father
took him to a speech

about the budget,
in Pittsburgh.

You mean San Diego.

He says Pittsburgh.

We never did a budget
speech in Pittsburgh.

This is a little weird.

How many weird letters
does the President get a day?

A couple of thousand
but this one has

the President's
private mail code on it.

That's why I've got it.

Well, how many
confused people

does the President
befriend every day?

A couple of dozen, but
he doesn't give them
the private mail code.

I don't know.
I'm on with the Russians.

Good morning.

I'm Sam Seaborn.

Nickolai Ivanovich.

George Kowzlowski.

Thanks for coming by.

This should be quick.

Let me first say that
President Bartlet's

looking forward to
meeting President Chigorin

and having
a mutually productive meeting.

GEORGE:
Mr. Seaborn

um, we understood that
the protocol arrangements

had been, um... had
been finalized by the...

by the advance
teams in Helsinki.

That's right, but
there are points

I'd like to revisit.

My thinking being

I could relay my concerns to you
at the Embassy

and you could send
them on to Moscow
and hopefully

get an answer quickly

'cause we're coming down
to it now.

I'm sorry. I, uh...

It's coming
up quickly.

The summit.

It's Saturday,
and this is Monday.

Oh, yes, yes.

We've agreed
to a consecutive translation?

Yes.

I'd like to change that
to a simultaneous translation.

They prefer
that the two leaders pause

while their remarks
are-- rendered?--

rendered into
the particular language.

President Bartlet has a rhythm
to his speaking pattern

that's best
if it's uninterrupted.

That's the only reason
I bring it up.

We'll pass that over.

I'm sorry. "Pass it on"?

Yes.
I'm sorry.

It's just that one is good,
and one is bad.

We'd already agreed

on the Grand Salon
in Finlandia Hall
for the 6:00 meeting

and I wanted to change
that to the Hall of Flags.

Hall of Flags.

Didn't we agree 3:00
for that meeting?

It's funny
you should mention that.

I'm sorry?

It's funny...

It's a coincidence
that you should happen

to mention the time
of the meeting.

See, President Chigorin only has
to fly through one time zone.

President Bartlet has
to fly through seven.

Don't get me wrong.

This President can do
three shows a night

but there's no one
in the Western Hemisphere

who has a worse reaction
to jet lag than he does.

Any trip eight hours or longer

and someone gets fired
at the end of it

and it's already been me
three times, so...

We'll pass it on.

I think everyone

on the White House staff
would agree when I say

that one's a
deal breaker.

All right, then.

Was there anything else?

Oh, yeah. We're just
getting started.

Are you guys hungry?

No.

Okay.

DONNA:
You ready?

Yeah. Where are we going?

The yogurt place.

Are those angry faxes?

They're... Yeah, they're
very angry faxes.

From Saudis?
Yeah.

Well, what'd you expect?

Very angry faxes
from Saudis

and angry e-mails.

Look at these.

I'm seeing

some troubling
spelling here.

"Godless" with two Ds?

Let's go.

Hang on.

C.J.?

I saw it.

It's a death threat.

It's not a big deal.

You sure?
Yeah.

Don't tell anybody, okay?

I don't want
a lot of production.

All right.

Thanks.

Josh...
can you come in here

and look at this,
please?

Donna...

JOSH:
Look at what?

C.J.'s e-mail.

( sighs )

Call Frank
Tenney downstairs.

Tell him I want to
talk to him right away.

Yeah.

You take this seriously?

Yeah. It's a
death threat, C.J.

I take it seriously.

I've had some experience
with this.

Thank you all so much.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

What's this one about?

They have a picture
they want to show us.

Of what?

I don't know.

We've got a problem.

Jake Kimball came
to see me this morning.

What's he doing here?

Looking a hundred years old.

Anteras is going to announce
a chip recall on Thursday.

How big?

Everything.

What are you talking about?

They discovered a problem
with one of the...

That's got to be
50 million chips.

80 million.

Leo, how the hell are we...?

I know.

That's the end of Anteras.

Yeah.

98,000 workers.

I think 75,000 in the U.S.

Plus the kidney punch
at NASDAQ?

I think Jake's going
to put a shotgun in his mouth.

I really do.

Sir?

Yeah.

Mr. President.

Fitz, Fitz.

You old polecat.
You old so and so.

You trying to be
one of the fellas, sir?

Yeah.

Well, well-done sir.

Thank you.

This picture was taken
by an SR-71

during a routine flyover
in the Gulf.

This is Bushehr,
and this is what looks to me

like the early days
of construction

on a light water reactor.

Light water is
ordinary water, sir--

tap water...
it's Perrier.

Yeah.

Light water is what's used
for nuclear reactors

and the Iranians have contracted
the Russians to build them

a light water reactor
for that purpose.

What's the problem?

Four intelligence agencies
tell me I'm wrong, and I am.

The Russians are building them
a heavy water reactor.

What do you use
heavy water for?

Plutonium.

TOBY:
Good morning, Janice.

Good morning,
Mr. Ziegler.

Don't you think it's time
we make it "Toby"?

Okay.

That's a nice uniform.

How long have you guys had
that uniform?

About a thousand years.

Okay.

Hey, Toby.

( tones beep )

TOBY:
Excuse me.

I've got to tell you
something. You ready?

What?

I've got
nothing to do.

What do you mean?

I got to the
office at 6:00

and it turned out
that everything that
I was supposed to do

got done by 7:30.

It's some strange fluke
of the calendar.

So I'm just out here
walking around, you know

just being in the world.

In the hallways.

Yeah, well,
you know, yeah.

Well, I'm going to change
all that.

I'd like you to meet
with a Russian reporter
named Ludmilla Koss.

She's the Washington
correspondent for
the Novaya Gazetta.

She wants credentials
and a seat on the press charter.

Why is she asking us?

The Russians have banned her
from the summit.

Why?
She supported
the other guy.

Ah-hah. Time to teach these
Stoli-drinking Tchaikovskys

a thing or two
about free press American-style.

You don't ban those
who-who supported your opponent.

You make them wallow
in their loserdom

by covering your victory.

You-you sit them
in the front row.

You give them a hat.

I will save Ludmilla
Koss, for I am Toby
and in so doing...

Why am I going
on like this?

I don't know.

Set up the meeting.

Obviously, I have
a little time.

Thank you.

Ron?

C.J., Frank Tenney spoke
to me this morning.

Yeah, Josh made me see him
yesterday.

He filed everything he was
supposed to file.

Can I see the message?

It's just, you know...
it's what it is.

Could you type in
your password?

Have you checked your
e-mail yet today?

I just got here.

Okay, he sent another one
at 5:20 this morning.

Have you had
cyber-threats before?

Not explicitly.

And Agent Tenney says

that you don't recognize
the sender's address.

No.

Have you had a... bad breakup
with a boyfriend lately?

God, Ron, I haven't
had a boyfriend in...

I get a lot of hate mail.

After the President, I'm the
single most visible person

in the Federal Government.

I'm... every day, I'm
on TV, and every day

exactly half the people are
going to disagree with you

and some of those people
are going to hate you

and some of those
people are going
to write letters.

Yeah,
this isn't hate mail.

This is a death threat.

Could I use your computer
for a second?

Sure.

( keyboard clacking )

Okay. I'm going to need to take
your hard drive.

Why?

I just used
traceroute tools

and the server
and the IP address don't match.

The address was invented
to disguise the origin.

In my briefing yesterday,
I made some remarks

about a situation
in Saudi Arabia.

I may have gone too far.

I was thinking
about apologizing, and...

Yeah, this-this doesn't have
anything to do with that.

Well, what do you mean?

Muslim extremists
don't get personal.

They don't know your name;
they don't care.

They don't want one person;
they want dozens or hundreds.

That's why
they don't use bullets.

Killing one person
is a waste of a bomb.

He wants you.

Why doesn't he want me?

Someone will be by in a few
minutes to get your hard drive

and we're intercepting all your
e-mails from the address.

Thank you.

NICKOLAI:
The press conference

can be moved
to 9:00.

Thank you.

And... excuse me.

( whispering )

The venue.

Thank you.

And the venue
can be moved to
Hall of Mirrors.

Flags.

Yes, but we need something
from you.

Okay.
On his arrival

and during outdoor
photograph opportunity

President Bartlet
must wear overcoat.

A coat?
He must wear coat.

He must wear gloves.

Scarves and earmuffs,
permissible but optional.

Hang on, 'cause...
yes, 'cause President Chigorin

wants to wear a coat and doesn't
want to look like a wimp.

Sam, it is freezing to cold
in Reykjavik.

It is freezing to cold
in Helsinki.

It is freezing to cold
in Staad.

Why must every American
President bound

out of an automobile
like as at a yacht club

while in com--
excuse... compar...

Comparison.
Compar...

...while in comparison
our leader looks like...

I don't even know
what word is.

Frumpy?

I don't know what frumpy is, but
onomatopoetically sounds right.

It's hard not to like a guy
who doesn't know frumpy

but knows onomatopoeia.

I'll talk to the President
about the coat.

We'll have a final meeting
tomorrow on the last points

and that'll be that.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

What is onomatop...?

Sounds like.
Sounds like.

Well, you were right.

About what?
The President never made

a budget speech
in Pittsburgh.

He's nine; so he
would've been five
or six at the time.

Maybe he thought everything
was a budget speech.

Or maybe it's just
a crazy letter.

It's not.
How do you know?

'Cause I read a lot
of crazy letters.

I got a letter last year

asking me if I would
donate my brain

to a medical
school in Granada.

I'll tell you, there
are days when I think

"Yeah, why not just
get it over with?"

He had his picture taken
with the President.

The advance guys always get
the name and address
and we send a copy.

There's no record of a picture
being sent to this kid.

Plus, his father's in trouble.

Why?
He's a furnace worker

at the Franklin Mill
and the kid said

they may fire him
'cause he wants to join a union.

He spoke to a group called

the Steel Workers Organizing
Committee.

Have you ever heard of them?

Yeah, except they have
a different name today.

What?

The AFL-CIO

and furnace workers
are all unionized.

Hey, Charlie.

Hey.

Ms. Koss?

Yes.

Toby Ziegler.
Come on in.

You write for
the Novaya Gazetta.

Yes.

Your circulation's
gotten huge.

Highest daily in Russia.

And it's hard to
tell whether that's

because of your reporting,
your editorials

or the naked women
on page three.

( chuckles ):
We did not invent
this thing

nor did we invent
the comic strips or Lotto.

Touché, madam.

So, what did you do
to piss off President Chigorin?

President Chigorin
does not like criticism.

Have you met
someone who does?

That is not the point.

No, I, uh, I-I'm just talking.

( chuckles )

( chuckles )

Listen, uh,
you're already credentialed

to cover our President.

It's just a matter
of putting you on the plane

and before I do that, I want to
check with the State Department

to make sure it's not
a grotesquely insulting thing

to do to a new President

from whom the U.S. is hoping
for quite a bit.

Oh, so your First Amendment only
extends as far as is polite?

No, it extends farther than that
but it only protects us.

Believe me, if we
were able to enforce

U.S. law around the world,
I'd retire and go scuba diving.

You like diving?

I've never done it.

I've, uh, never done anything

but I've seen pictures
and it looks fun.

I've seen pictures of people
out there in the world

and they all look
like they're glad they are.

Now, granted when I'm looking
at these pictures

somebody's usually trying
to sell me something

but I'll tell you what,
I'm 44 years old and I'm buying.

I usually don't
talk this much

but I'm having an odd day.

Want to stay for a little

and look at pictures
of scuba divers?

No, thank you.
Okay, then.

We'll talk tomorrow.

Thank you very much.

PRESIDENT:
Well, thank you all

very much.

Listen,
before we go in there

let's take a second
and talk about Anteras.
Yeah.

It's not like there's nothing
we can do.

There's nothing
we can do.

I'm not saying Commerce or
Treasury calls the banks

but an emergency
loan guarantee if we
can get Congress...

Good morning,
sir.
Good morning.

Yeah, we can't do it.

How did it go
over there?

Well, they confronted
the Russian Atomic
Energy Minister

with the photographs.

And?
He denies everything.

That's good
enough for me.

He doesn't deny
that they're building a reactor.

They've had contracts
with Iran since '76

and he says that
Deuterium-based reactors

have been up and running
in Canada for years.

Yeah, well, Canada, Russia

roughly the same relationship
with the U.S.

Fitz, you old horse thief,
you old muckety-muck.

Well, good morning again, sir.

Josh says the director
of MINATOM says

it's commercial power
production.

Yeah, except that there
are no power lines

to and from the site

and there's no
reprocessing facility.

This one's 50
megawatts thermal

which is identical to
the reactor Pakistan's
got in Kushab.

This isn't used
to make the lights go;

it's used
to make plutonium.

Mr. President, I am not your
National Security Advisor

or your Secretary of Defense
or State

but the Russians are giving Iran
the bomb.

( closes book )

Well...
that's what was said

by my National Security Advisor
20 minutes ago

right after it was said
by the Secretaries
of State and Defense

and for what it's worth,
the Directors of the CIA, NSA

FBI and Naval Intelligence
agree.

Leo, isn't MINATOM
in terrible shape?

They lost some customers
after Chernobyl.

Yeah, that's welcome
to free markets the hard way

but my point is, their light
water reactor contracts

are way behind schedule.

There are all kinds
of technical failures.

You think
the Iranians forced them

to build them
a heavy water reactor?

To satisfy their contracts
maybe.

Crap, and even if that were
the case

it doesn't make them
Jean Valjean.

They want to power broker
in the Middle East.

Just what the doctor ordered
for the Middle East.

All right

while avoiding
the biggest diplomacy disaster

since I don't know when,
Josh, Leo

you guys have to figure out
a way to get me out of it.

Get him out of what?

He's not going
to Helsinki.

There's, uh, something
really good on television.

What?
That's why he can't go--
there's something really good

on television and the President
doesn't know how to work a VCR.

No, it's not that he
doesn't know how to work it.

They know
he's got a staff.

They wouldn't buy it.

It's that he
doesn't trust technology.

Josh...

This is insane.

News of the reactor's going
to break-- you know it will--

and it's going to break

at the worst
possible time.

In fact, my money's on

it's going to break
right next to the picture

of him shaking hands
with Chigorin...

while wearing a coat
to protect his MS-riddled body

from the fierce climate
in Finland.

How can you guys, all of you,
be so sure it's not MINATOM

and the other Cold War holdouts,
the ex-Soviets, walking around?

I don't care...
There are other issues
on the table.

There's NATO expansion,
the Caspian pipeline...

You don't get to
put a bomb in Iran!

There are no other issues
on the table right now.

We're going to have
to fly over there
and blow this thing up

and given what they're
manufacturing there

I don't know if
that's possible.

We were all so smart.

Russia's hobbled.

The next conflict's going
to be in the Middle East.

Turns out it is
in the Middle East...

with the Russians.

You didn't answer my question.

What question?

Chigorin just took office
four months ago.

How can you be sure
it's not a rogue thing?

I don't want
a leak, Josh.

Everyone's proceeding
like we're going?

Yes.

How can you be sure?

I can't.

Toby.

Thanks for
coming down.

Is there still
a summit to go to?

I'm sorry, what'd you say?

I'm sorry about that.
I asked because...

Yeah.

I wanted to talk to you

'cause I've been asked
to put a reporter

from the Novaya Gazetta
on the press plane.

That's a mistake.

You understand I'm
talking about a...

pencil and a pad of paper

from which no one
has ever died.

You understand
there isn't a paper

any publication in Russia

that's more critical
of the Chigorin government.

Well, the editorial
judgment aside

what's the damage
assessment?

Well, the point
of the summit is

to build strong bilateral ties
with a new administration, so...

We make it clear
it's not personal.

How do you suggest
we do that?

I don't know. Uh...

What are the things
they could do?

We got about a half dozen

American reporters in Moscow
whose credentials are pending.

Toby, this is like
if they credentialed

the Enquirer
to cover the summit.

If the Enquirer
ever asked us,
we'd credential them.

Making sure the Enquirer
can write whatever it wants

is the only way I can be
sure the New York Times is
writing whatever it wants.

Well, you asked me
what I thought.

I'm 100% against it.

CHARLIE:
Okay.

Thanks.

Good morning, Mr. President.

You're going to get
Secret Service protection

but I can't order it unless
you sign this piece of paper.

So, sign this
piece of paper.

Sir, can I ask why you feel
it's necessary...?

Because Ron
says it is

and around here, we do
whatever Ron says.

Well, I think
it might be

an overreaction.
Good for you.

With all your years of
training and experience

in sniffing out crime

your opinion really carries
a lot of weight with me.

I don't want
to appear fragile.
Are you kidding?

Sir...
We're talking about
one bodyguard.

I have 12, and that's
before I leave the house.

You ever count the number of
guns that come along with me

when Abbey and I take in a
play at the Kennedy Center?

Do I seem fragile to you?

No, sir.
Then...

You're also not a woman
in a man's job

to say nothing of the fact
that you're required by law

to be protected
by the Treasury Department.

You don't have a choice,
and frankly, sir

you and I both know that
you've scored points frequently

with the public
and with the press

by shrugging off your Secret
Service and doing whatever--

going to a bookstore...

I don't care.

Sir...
I don't care.

You're part of my family
and this thing is happening

and I simply won't permit it.

Sign the piece of paper.

Look...
Let me tell
you something.

The last time a member of
my staff got a death threat

they missed him and hit me.

Ron... is there
any evidence...

any evidence at all
that this guy...

Look, I work
in the White House--

everybody knows that--

but is there any evidence
to suggest that...

Where did you
get these?

Today's e-mail.

That's me leaving
my house on Monday.

This one's at
a restaurant

where I had dinner
with my niece.

This one's
from this morning.

It was taken
from about 20 feet away.

Okay, okay.

RON:
Let's go outside
and talk.

Okay.

Thank you,
Mr. President.

Toby?

PRESIDENT:
Yeah.

Morning, sir.

What's going on?

TOBY:
Just wanted to give
you a heads up

the Journal's going
to run an editorial

with regard to broken promises
and fiscal spending.

Oh, man, the greatest
campaign speech ever
about money.

F.D.R. promises
to tighten our belts.

What's he do
when he gets here?

Spends more
than we knew could be spent

and it's 'cause he discovered
it's better

for long-term growth.

The Journal probably
wrote an editorial

about his broken
promises, too.

Hey, I should be able
to reference that speech.

Where did he give that?

It was in the
Industrial Northeast.

Pittsburgh,
Pennsylvania.

Charlie, F.D.R. gave
a budget speech

in 1932 in Pittsburgh.

Can you get your hands
on a copy?

I'm sorry, sir?

I'm said F.D.R. gave
a budget speech in 19...

Yeah.

Yes, sir.

Okay.

Thank you,
Mr. President.

Mm.

Good morning.

How's it going?

Is there a TV show
you really, really like?

No.

Then don't
worry about it.

Let's talk about
something else.

What?

Helping out Anteras.

Ah, was wilst du von mein Leben?

What do you want from my life?

The government can't be in
the business of cosigning loans.

We wouldn't be handing them
a bag of unmarked bills

just backing the loans to
cover the cost of the recall.

It's a subsidy.

It's a small one.

I'm an economist.

Sir, this was not
a failure of business.

It was-- I don't know-- it was
a mistake, it was human error

and Jake's been
completely forthright...

The marketplace will
take care of Anteras.

The marketplace
will kill Anteras.

That's what's
supposed to happen.

It's not like it's
unprecedented, sir.

We helped out steel.

That was an industry

that was hurt by
unfair trade practices.

Anteras was hurt
by their own carelessness.

A loan guarantee doesn't
cost the taxpayers a nickel.

Unless they go under

and either way, we've just said

"We're open for business."

For a corporate icon that
feeds into tech companies

computers, aerospace...

The ripple effects.

Workers losing jobs,
it's a blue chip stock

that's in every major...

They were huge contributors!

How the hell am I suppo...?

The were huge contributors!

Carelessness doesn't have to
exist for a mistake to be made.

What?

You said it was carelessness

and I don't believe
carelessness has to exist

for a mistake to be made.

Jake was a contributor,
and he's never asked for a favor

not even now.

He was a contributor
'cause he knows us

and we know him

and we know
that if a mistake happened

in design or production
at Anteras

it wasn't shoddy...
it wasn't on the cheap.

You know how many chips
have acted up so far?

One.

Dollars to donuts,
he could've gotten away with it

but he wanted to warn people

they may have a problem
before...

I don't even know what happens

when 80 million computers
stop working right

but tell me
this isn't exactly how we want

American business to behave.

I know it doesn't look good--
he's a friend of ours--

but there is a reason
he's a friend of ours.

They're announcing
end of business tomorrow?

Yes, sir.

( sighs )

I'm not saying anything

but grab some people
and put together some numbers.

Yes, sir.

I'm not saying anything.

Thank you, Mr. President.

of recent trade agreement
between Russians and Finns.

However, we'll
take off menu.

Why?

We were asked to.

Mrs. Bartlet likes shrimp.

That is the most ridiculous
thing I've ever heard.

Put whatever you want
on the menu.

Very well.

And I would like
to request

that the press pool be allowed

to take photographs
of the Arctic Peoples exhibit.

Also very well.

And that,
my good friends, is that.

It was a pleasure
doing business with you.

Uh, we have one more.

Name it.

On the issue

of the language
in the joint statement.

Well, I can't negotiate language
in the statement.

It's just a suggestion.

The language has been worked out

by State and Commerce
and Defense.

It's way beyond...

Just hear suggestion, Sam.

Okay.

( clears throat )

"Both President Chigorin
and myself agree

"that we must enter
21st century

"as partners and friends,
not as adversaries.

"We must lead way in
stemming tide of
nuclear proliferation

"and we must start
with ourselves.

"For why should two nations
still possess power

"to destroy each other
ten times over?

Surely, once is enough."

Whose idea was this?

Mine.

Who wrote it?

I did.

You'll, uh...
pass it up?

Yeah.

That's good one, yes?

Yes.

Thank you.

Hello.

LUDMILLA:
Hello.

Here are your credentials
for the plane.

Mm-hmm.

Here's your plane ticket.

Here are your credentials
for the palace

the Saturday press conference

the Arctic Peoples exhibit

the Sunday press conference

and the Hall of Flags.

Thank you very much.

By the way, I found out
why Chigorin and his people

have such a problem with you.

It's because I don't
flatter them.

No, it's because you stink.

I beg your pardon?

You can beg all you want.
You're not going to get it.

Last month, you alleged
that the Chigorin Government

bombed several
apartment buildings

based on an unattributed source.

It was refuted.
You never retracted it.

The Government's case was
all over the television.

Last week,
you wrote a cover story

about President Chigorin's
mother-in-law moving closer

to the Kremlin.

You printed
her home address.

She had to relocate.

Well, that's her decision.

You reported the failing grades

of the Defense Minister's
12-year-old son.

Does that even count
as journalism?

Does that do anything

but bring ridicule
on a defenseless kid?

We've got people like you here
on cable and on the Internet

and there's no one anywhere
on the ideological spectrum

who doesn't roll their eyes

when their names
are spoken out loud.

You know, we've always had
free press here--

we take it for granted--
but how can you...

treat it like this?

You should give up your space

and put another naked woman
in there.

Anyway...

There are your credentials.

The Majority Leader
moves up HMO reform.

He'll do that?

We've talked to him.

He's moved up HMO reform

there's nothing
we can do about it

and the welfare
of your people comes first.

He has a Duma.
He'll understand.

This makes sense.

We save face
and send a strong message.

Anybody?

( affirmative murmuring )

Can I use this to get out
of weddings and stuff?

( all chuckling )

Sam, the Majority Leader's
going to move up HMO reform

and my Duma's going
to vote on it.

What do you think?

Sorry, sir.
Would you hear

what Sam has to say
for a moment?

What?

Listen, I'd like to
tell you about something

and if, when I'm done

you think I sounded
like an idiot

just know that
I'll be feeling
like one, as well.

Nickolai Ivanovich

the senior member
of the logistical
negotiating team

said he had language
he wanted added to
the joint statement

and that he wrote
it, himself.

What's he getting involved
with the language
on the statement for?

Yeah, and what he
wanted added was:

"Together in
partnership

"we must stem the
tide of nuclear
proliferation.

"For why should our
two nations still
possess the power

"to destroy themselves
ten times over?

Surely, once is enough."

Now, I have to tell you, sir

that both these negotiators
had conversational English

but they didn't have
idioms.

I promise you...

"Stem the tide"
is an English idiom.

Yeah, and they don't have

"Surely, once is enough,"
either.

Sir, Chigorin wrote that.

I think he's trying to send you
a message, Mr. President.

He is trying
to send me a message.

( murmuring agreement )

We've been trying to get
nonproliferation on the agenda.

We've been trying to put
those exact words

into Chigorin's mouth.

He's got a whole
Soviet defense establishment

that's trying
to do business.

Wait a second. Hang on.

You're telling me
that foreign policy

of this magnitude is
conducted through Sam

and I'm still alive?

We're pretty impressed
ourselves, Mr. Chairman.

Why didn't he just have
somebody pick up the phone?

It's the old diplomatic corps,
and he can't

trust them yet.
Fitz?

I think he's going
out on a limb.

I think
you should meet him there.

Let's go to Helsinki.

But the reactor's first
thing on the agenda.

Anybody?

( affirmative murmuring )

Thank you, Mr. President.

Thanks, everyone.

Thank you, sir.
Thank you,
sir.

Thank you,
Mr. President.

I've got Jake Kimball
in my office, sir.

I'll be right in.

Sam?

Yes, sir?

Nice job.

Thank you.

Tell me again
why I can't wear

whatever the hell I want?

Well, that's not
entirely true, sir.

The earmuffs
are optional.

Okay.

I probably won't
be wearing them.

Yes, sir.

Whatever happened
to Pong, huh?

It was great.
It was relaxing.

It had that very
satisfying sound.

I, uh, I don't know, sir.

Yeah, me neither.
Leo?

No.

Leo wanted to see if we
could guarantee a loan.

I didn't know that.
I can't ask you for that.

I appreciate it, and I
can't give it to you

but I think I can
do Leo one better.

What?

We'll stay his
biggest customer.

When you announce
your recall

you can announce
you're keeping

your government
contracts.

Leo will work it
out with Congress.

That's very generous,
Mr. President.

I appreciate
your confidence.

Talk to me about
the 75,000 workers.

I won't be taking
any salary for two years

and my managers
will cut their
salaries by 50%

before we even consider
laying anyone off.

All right.

Jakie, this is
the White House.

If we only screw up
twice before breakfast

it was a very good morning.

Yes, sir.

One more thing.

You can't make any more
campaign contributions

to me or any Democrat.

You can vote.
That's it.

Yes, sir.

I knew I'd get screwed
by a computer one day.

I have an important
photo op.

Excuse me.

NANCY:
Charlie?

Mr. Tatum.

I'm Dr. Tatum.

I'm the one
you talked to
on the phone.

This is my father.

I'm Charlie Young.

I'm Personal Aide
to the President.

Yes.

You didn't tell him
anything, right?

He thinks we're on
Candid Camera.

Or that this is
a ruse of some kind.

What the hell...?

It's not.
It's not a ruse.

When you were nine

you wrote this letter
to Franklin Roosevelt.

You met him when he was
Governor of New York and
a candidate for President.

Well, I'll be damned.

You met his Personal
Aide, Tom Farley.

That's me.

Mr. Tatum,
by any chance

the apartment where you
grew up in Pittsburgh

was it 23-45
Northern...?

State Boulevard.

Yeah. That's the only
residential building

in Pittsburgh that's
been torn down recently.

In fact, it was
just two weeks ago.

Somebody found your
letter and put the
right postage on it.

Hmm. Well,
would you look

at what people
will do!

I tell you, none of it
would have happened

except there's
a five-digit code

that Presidents give
out to close friends

and President
Bartlet copied
his from FDR.

For the hundredth time,
it was an homage.

Yes, sir.

Alan Tatum?

Yes, sir.

The White House owes
you one picture.

Oh, my!

Let's go, Dad.

Mr. President,
this is my son, Ted.

Good to meet you.

Same here.

He's a doctor.

Dad...

Oh, God, I'm sorry.
I'm married to one.

Oh, no, you meant that
as a good thing.

Let's go.

( Alan chuckling )

FDR was a fine President--
don't get me wrong--

but if you want something
done right, damn it

call New Hampshire.

( chuckles softly )

Come in, please.

Are you retired,
Mr. Tatum?

Yes, sir. 53 years

on the Spirit
of St. Louis.

From New York
to St. Louis.

PRESIDENT:
Your grandfather was
a furnace worker.

Your father was
on the railroads.

You couldn't find
honest work?

( laughs )

I'd like my
picture taken

with that young man,
if you don't mind?

Charlie...

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Well, thank you
very much, sir.

This was really

a once-in-a-lifetime experience
for both of us.

Where are you going?

You got pictures.
What do I get?

ALAN:
I don't know what...

You were there.
You were at his speech.

You got to tell me
everything. Sit.

We're going to
get some food.

You, sit quietly
over there

and try to resist
the temptation

to bill me
for something.

( Ted chuckling )

C.J.:
"... discharges the company
and the company's directors."

Okay. That's not going
to be in there.

Hello.

C.J. Cregg?
Yeah.

I'm Special Agent
Simon Donovan.

I'm with
the Treasury Department.

Uh-huh. What branch of
the Treasury Department,
Agent Donovan?

U.S. Secret Service.

I don't like
flashing it around--

it gives some people the jumps--

but Agent Butterfield said
you were a reluctant customer.

How does this work?

What is it
you'd like to know?

Well, first of all

from how far away
can you do this?

I can respect a certain
perimeter of privacy.

What does thatmean?

I don't need to see you
naked or anything.

Okay.

Though...
"better safe than sorry"

is a bit of a motto
for us over at Treasury.

I don't know.
You're the boss.

I'll be leading a detail
of four agents

each working a third of the day,
one day off a week.

We've set up a command post
in your apartment building.

We've set up
surveillance.

You can put your car
in a garage.

You'll be using ours.

You can't come in
the Briefing Room.

A crowded room where anyone
can get credentialed

and you're up at the podium?

No, I'm pretty sure
I'll be there.

This is what you meant
by I'm the boss?

Uh, yeah, I guess that's
more of an honorary thing.

This guy isn't
small-time, Ms. Cregg.

You're being hunted.

By the way, I can't
guarantee anything

except to say that
if you're dead

chances are, I am, too.

Well, I guess
it's going to have to be

the little things now.

Yeah. I'm going
to go check in
with my command.