All language subtitles for The.West.Wing.S03E13.WEBRip.x264-FGT

Previously, on The West Wing:

Your father
used to hit you

didn't he, Mr. President?

Your father used
to hit you, sir?

Yeah.

Not like a spanking?

He hit me. Why?

He punched you.

It was a complicated
relationship.

It was because you were
smarter than he was.

You have stepped
way over the line.

Stanley.

Josh.

Your flight
was all right?

It was fine.
How are you?

Me?
Yeah.

I'm fine.

These are
your things?
Yeah.

I'm going to put them
back in my office.

Should I go with you?

No, I'll be right back.

They'll be all
right back there.

Where should we go?

You ever seen
the White House?

Just the little I saw
when we talked last year.

Follow me.

This is the
communications bullpen

where Toby Ziegler
and Sam Seaborn work.

The rest of the
communications

and speech-writing
staff works

across the alley in
the Old Executive
Office Building.

And here comes the
actual Sam Seaborn.

What's going on?

Leo's reading it,
and we're going to send it out

in about ten or 15 minutes,
so Toby's been banging around.

What are you doing?

Banging around.

This is Dr. Keyworth.

Sam Seaborn.

Nice to meet you.

Did you have
a good flight?

Yes.

Anybody you know
on the plane?

No.

Okay.

I'll see you.

Yeah.

Uh... that's Leo's office.

It has a private entrance
to the Oval Office, but...

we'll go in here.

The driver asked me
the same question.

What?

Did I know anybody
on the plane.

Yeah, he wanted to know

if you had talked
to anybody on the way here.

I didn't.
I know.

This is the Oval Office.

That's the Resolute Desk.

It was build from timbers
of the H.M.S. Resolute

and given to Rutherford
Hayes by Queen Victoria

to thank the U.S. for
finding the abandoned ship.

We're going to go
over to the residence

but I'm going to take you
out through the portico.

Josh?
Yeah?

Wouldn't you like to sit
someplace and talk?

Yeah.

Why the tour?

You don't think
this is interesting?

I think it's fascinating...

If somebody sees
us, I'd like them

to see me giving you a tour.

Who built
the White House?

It was designed by
an Irish architect
named James Hoban

who won the job in
an open competition.

And it was built
largely by slaves.

They just found
the pay receipts
a few years ago.

The slaves were paid?

Their owners.

Right through here.

It wasn't until Buchanan
was visited

by Edward, Prince of Wales

that he decided there wasn't
enough room for guests

but it took another 40 years

to move all the office space
out of the residence.

You're really seeing
something, Stanley.

Tours don't go up into the
second floor of the mansion.

You're sure it's okay?

Yeah. We're going to go
in here now.

This is the
President's
private study.

His private study?

Yeah.

Okay. Should we close the door?

No, that's all right.

So, tell me
how you've been feeling.

Good.

Stanley.

Hey, Leo.

You getting a tour
of the place?

Yeah, yeah.

You show him the
North Portico?

Leo likes to show people

the soot stains
on the North Portico.

From when the British
torched the place.

They haven't repainted?

Not that. You know, when
Dolly Madison heard

the cannon fire,
she evacuated
the building

but she already
had the table set

for a 40-person
dinner party.

So the British soldiers ate and
then set the building on fire.

So... the food
didn't go to waste.

That's right.

How was your flight?

It was fine.

Did you know anyone
on the plane?

You... didn't bring me here
to talk to Josh, did you?

No.

Who did you bring
me here to talk to?

PRESIDENT:
Dr. Keyworth.

Did you know anyone
on the plane?

No. No, sir.

I didn't know anyone
on the plane.

We'll leave you alone.

The speech is going out?

In a few minutes.
Okay.

I'm Jed Bartlet.

Stanley Keyworth.

I guess we knew that.

Yes, sir.

I've been having
trouble sleeping.

I'm sorry?

You understand that this
is an election here, right?

I mean, by itself, who cares?

The President's having
trouble sleeping

he talks to a doctor

but with the MS
and the hearings

and you're
a psychiatrist...

Yeah.

Okay.

I'm not an expert
in sleep disorders.

Yeah.

I'm a trauma specialist.

Yeah, we know you.

You helped Josh
out last year.

Josh was shot.

Me, too.

Is that why you can't sleep?

How would I know?

That's a fair point.

Thank you.

Well, Mr. President, um...

Tell me about the nature
of your sleeping problem.

I can't sleep.

What happens
when you try to sleep?

I stay awake.

How long has it been?

Four nights.

You haven't slept
in four nights?

Right.

That must be hard.

Yeah.

Have you tried taking
a sleeping pill?

The third night.

It didn't work?

Not till the next morning

in the middle of a national
security briefing.

Hmm. Well, that's no good.

Stanley, I think you're
underselling yourself

when you say you're
not an expert in
sleep disorders

'cause you have been
right straight on
the money so far.

How many of those
do you smoke a day?

Not many.

'Cause nicotine will

keep you up at night.

Never has before.

It could be now.

You think if I put this out,
I'm going to fall asleep?

No.

Then let's move on.

All right, um...

let's rule out some things.

Physical factors.

Do you have arthritis?

No.

Heartburn?

No.

Irregular breathing

or periodic
muscle contractions?

No.

All right.

Lifestyle factors.

I'm sorry,
before we get

to lifestyle factors,
I'm just going to turn this on.

It's a closed-circuit thing.
I'm at the U.N. on Monday.

REPORTER:
And when will Air Force One
be leaving?

Leaving Andrews at 8:00 a.m.

for the 9:30 address
to the General Assembly.

REPORTER 2:
And when do we see copies?

When we're done writing it.

I'm sorry?
When do we see copies?

Sunday night.

Has the State Department
reviewed it?

I imagine we'll be getting
their reviews any minute.

REPORTER 3:
Anyone else?
Key members

of House and Senate
Foreign Relations.

And we see it
Sunday night?
You see it Sunday night.

That's it, everybody.
That's a full lid.

Have a good weekend.
ALL:
Thank you, C.J.

C.J.?

Hey, what are you doing here?

Listen, I'm missing a reporter.

Who?
Bill Price.

Isn't Billy in the Congo?

Yeah.

Come back here.

He files stories
by satellite phone

to the New York Bureau
at a predetermined time.

He's missed
two deadlines in a row.

Does he miss
deadlines?

Not one in seven years.

What does State say?

It's Friday night and
I'm having trouble
finding people.

What about the
other end?

I've talked to the embassy
in Kinshasa.

They're getting into it,
but this is the Congo.

What do you think
has happened?

I think he left
the capital.

Without written
permission from
the Ministry?

How would he know
he needed that?

By reading State
background notes.

Does that sound like Billy?

No.

C.J., the first
15 minutes

they're the most critical
in a war zone abduction.

I know.
If we could get him delivered
to someone higher up...

Well, I'm going
to talk to Leo.

I know Billy's been
a pain in the ass

to you guys
for three years

but he's got a wife
and two kids

so if you could see your way
clear to forgetting about...

I don't care
that he's been...

Look, I'm going
to get into this

but, if he's missed
two deadlines

then his 15 minutes
was yesterday.

I know.

I'd call his wife.

Yeah.

Toby?

Yeah?
The pacing.

Yeah.

( sighs )

Okay, now the standing still
is bothering me a little bit.

This is the fifth time
you're reading it.

Are there words in there

you don't understand?

Of course there wouldn't be,
'cause you can't rise

to a position
like yours without...

( sighs )

Look, this is exactly
what we said we wanted it to be.

We said we were tired
of reading about

the President's scattershot
foreign policy.

We said-- you want to filet
me for this, fine--

we said when we go
to the U.N., we were going to--

I think it's great.

We said we were going to...
Yeah?

I do.

You know your wife's
going to have

something to say
about it, though.

My ex-wife.
Yeah.

Why do you call her my wife?

It bothers you.

Everything bothers me.
Yeah.

But you pick that?
Yeah.

Toby, the night of the Iowa
Caucus, when you got back

did you and the President have
a conversation that night?

Yeah.

I...

When he got back, for a minute.

What did you talk about?

Nothing.

He seemed kind of upset
about it.

It didn't go well.

What was it?
It was personal.

It was personal?

Yeah.

Well, that always works well
with him.

What has he said
about the speech?

He thinks it's great.
He hasn't said anything to you?

We haven't talked
in a little while.

Toby, what the hell
went on in there?

Don't worry about it.

Okay.

I'm going to read this again.

Sure. 'Cause it's
that sixth time.

Yeah.

Hey.
Did you read it?

It's great.
Thank you.

Someone's going to get
an ass-kicking from the missus.

Listen--

It's what we asked for,
you know.

We're going to have
to get ready for it.

Yeah. Something else
has come up, though.

What?

Leonard Wallace just
came to see me.

Billy Price is on assignment
in the Congo

and he's missed two deadlines.

He hasn't gotten
anywhere with State.

The embassy in
Kinshasa confirmed

that a Belgian TV crew
shooting outside Goma

saw an American captured
by MaiMai rebels.

Hasn't State had

a travel advisory out
for, like ten years?

Twenty-four.

What the hell
is he doing there?

Reporting a story no one
is paying attention to.

Why don't we talk
to the Congolese attaché?

He's on his way.
Okay.

He liked it.

Yeah?

He liked it a lot.
Mostly what I wrote.

Not so much
what you wrote.

Yeah? So, how long you think
before the old lady comes by

to give you
a whooping?

Her office called already,
didn't they?

You bet, baby.

( sighs )

You probably want to rethink
calling me "baby," right?

( chuckling ):
Yeah.

Whoa, Nellie!

Hello.

Hayes, you could make
a good dog break his leash.

I was at a social function.

Americans for
the Preservation
of Family Values

and White People?

The Federalist Society.

A hootenanny.
I was paged.

I was told to come in.

Yes. 32-50 is a consolidated
appropriations act

that we want to drop

in the U.N. speech
for Monday morning.

I need you to review
the final legislative language

so we can shop it around
the Hill over the weekend.

What does it call for?

Uh, I don't know.
Sam?

It authorizes payment

of $926 million in U.N. dues
over three years

in exchange for a reduction
in U.N. bureaucracy

as well as peacekeeping
assessments

by the General Assembly.

And what are we
concerned about?

Well, the language
was drafted by Republicans.

We're inscrutable.
I just want you to look
for legal land mines.

Like what?
I don't know.

A ban on German food,
or a hidden amendment

saying how annoying
the French are.

How about this?

We drop out of
the U.N. entirely

and use the $926 million
to take everybody

in the country
out to brunch?

Why don't you write
that suggestion in the margin?

I'll be in my office.

Whoa! I didn't even see
that thing from the back.

KEYWORTH:
Well, that takes care

of lifestyle factors.

What about...
environmental factors?

Like what?

Too much light
in the room.

Nah.

Extremes
in room temperature.

No.

Noise.
Noise?

You know, planes flying
overhead, that kind of thing.

Planes aren't allowed
to fly over the White House.

You haven't slept
in four nights.

How much sleep
do you usually get?

Four or five hours.

Well, we've been through
physical factors

lifestyle factors

and environmental factors.

That leaves us with...

Psychological factors.

Yes, sir.

What were the odds?

Right.

DONNA:
Just a few minutes actually.

What's going on?

Well, we're at the UN
on Monday

giving
a new foreign policy speech

that's going
to stir some things up

but the thing is,
it was a relatively

small circle of people

who were consulted
on the speech

and that circle
got wider tonight

so it'll be a weekend
of bartering

and Josh is usually one
of the point men on that so...

You need to get
back to the office.

I have a few minutes.

How have you been?

Great.

You guys survived?

The dot.coms didn't
run out of steam.

They didn't?

Just hype.
I see.

Do you?

No.

It's easier
to start up now.

Why?

There's less pressure
to be a success overnight.

Which brings us to...

this.

"Capitolscoop.com."

It'll track legislation,
profile people in power

shine a spotlight
on special interests
behind the scenes.

Gossip.

Not gossip.
Hard substance.

Public policy.

That's why we need
all the help we can get.

I doubt I can get
Josh involved--

it'd be a conflict.

No, I don't
want Josh.

I want you.

I'm sorry?

I want you.

Well, I don't know
where I'd find the time

for something like...

It's Friday at 11:00.

I'm basically on
a lunch break right now.

You don't understand.

I'm talking about
full time.

Issues Director
for Capitolscoop.com.

Well, I...
I'm... surprised

and I'm flattered,
but I'm, you know

not at all qualified.

That's not true.

You've been Josh Lyman's
traffic cop.

That's like an M.A.
in power-brokering.

You know the Hill.

You know every corner
of the White House.

You know every
pressure point

ten miles from
the Potomac.

Is this your operating budget?

It's your
starting salary.

Ginger?

WOMAN:
She's not here.

Is Bonnie here?

They went to get
something to eat.

Have we met?

No. I'm Celia Walton.

Sam Seaborn.

You're one of the people
who was sent over

for the week?
Yeah.

We appreciate
your helping out.

I go where I'm told.

Do you mind
if I say something to you?

No.

The way you talked
to that woman before...

What woman?

I don't know her name.

The dog on a leash.

That was Ainsley Hayes.

She's an Associate Counsel.

Yeah. It was rude,
it was inappropriate

and it was offensive.

What did I do?

You demeaned her.

No, we're friends.

It's a completely mature...

you know...

Also, she started it.

Whatever.

Well...

Okay.

I wasn't demeaning her.

I was complimenting her.

She's an Associate
White House Counsel

and you're complimenting her
on her sexuality?

She looked good in that dress
I thought.

Okay.

Where is he?

Congresswoman.

Where is he, Sam?

Toby?
Yes.

I do not know.
Liar.

You want to talk
about the speech?

I and members of the House
International Relations
Committee, yes.

I couldn't help but notice

that your fingerprints
are all over this, too.

You and Toby
want to be responsible

for starting World War III?

No.
Well, you're gonna.

I was having
a good night

until, like,
three minutes ago.

Where is he?

I don't know.

You said that already.

But you asked me again,
and I still didn't know.

May I wait
in his office?

Better his than mine.

( door slams )

( sighs )

What were we talking about?

Look, I'm just a temporary
hand here for a week

but I don't think
it's a joke or anything.

And you say Ginger and Bonnie
are out getting

something to eat?

Yeah.

I need these distributed.

Andy's in your office.

You let her in my office?

Yeah.

What the hell did you
let her in my office for?

Okay, well, I'm going
to step out for a minute

and not be
in this area anymore.

( sighs )

ANDY:
I don't get
how you could do this

without consulting people.

Come on in.

I don't get
how you think you can...

We consulted
plenty of people.

What do you think,
Sam and I create

foreign policy
around here?

I don't know.

You, Sam, Abbott, Costello.

We brought in...
for three weeks...

Did you bring in anybody
from State?

Yes.
Who?

The Secretary of State.

Since when do you
get to come in...?

I'm the third ranking member
on the damn committee.

This is a Presidential address,
Andrea, not a camel.

A what?

A camel.

A horse built by committee.

"Freedom must run deeper
than the free flow of capital.

"Freedom must mean more
than the free trade

"of goods and services.

The world will be free..."
I read it.

"The world will be free
when we have freedom of speech

for every nation..."

In fact, I wrote it.
"The world will be free

"when there is freedom
to worship for everyone.

The world
will be free..."
Andy...

"...when we finally shake off
the rusted chains of tyranny..."
Yes.

"...whether in the guise
of fascist dictatorships..."

You getting nervous?
"...or economic slavery,
or ethnic hostility..."

A little nervous?

"...or..."
Wait for it...

"the crushing yoke
of Islamic fanaticism."

Gentlemen,
start your engines.

C.J.:
Billy's wife is already here.

She's in my
office right now.

Is she very upset?

She's...
( knocking )

Leo?
Send him in.

She's with Leonard.

Come in.

Everybody,
this is McKennen Loboko

the Congolese attaché.

McKonnen.

I'm sorry.

Mr. Loboko,
you know our situation.

We've got an American reporter

who we believe was taken
by the MaiMais.

He shouldn't have
been traveling without
proper documentation.

The MaiMai care about
proper documentation, do they?

I beg your pardon?

If his papers were
in order, he wouldn't

have been abducted
at gunpoint?

We haven't been introduced.

I'm C.J. Cregg.

I'm the White House
Press Secretary.

That guy sat in my room
for a year

his wife's sitting
in my office

his two kids are sitting
at home

and I want him back.

You think I have him
in my briefcase?

This is a shakedown

so tell us how much money,
and where does it go.

The Congolese government
doesn't negotiate

with murderers.

The Congolese government
is a myth!

I can't talk to this woman.

Mr. Loboko...

how much money,
and where does it go?

( thunder cracks )

Where have you been?

I told you I
was going out.

For an hour?

Well... yeah.

There's an editorial
on sugar subsidies

in the International
Herald-Tribune.

Make sure Leo
gets a copy.

Also, make sure
you send me home

with a Congressional
facebook.

Why?

I'm still mixing up
Cooper and Hooper.

Why?

'Cause Cooper sounds
a lot like Hooper.

What does it matter? Just...

I got offered a job tonight.

What do you mean?

You know Casey Reed?
No.

We went to college together.

That's where you were?

Yeah.

At a job interview?

It wasn't a job interview.

We were meeting for a drink.

What's the job?

He has an Internet
start-up.

What kind of site?

Commentary.

He asked me
to be Issues Director.

Issues Director.
Yeah.

For an Internet start-up.

Dot.coms aren't dying,
just the hype.

Really?

Yeah.

Sounds like the hype's
alive and well, too.

I suppose.

You suppose.

Yeah.

You can't be thinking
about taking

a job that may not be around
a year from now.

This job may not be around
a year from now.

He offered you money?

Yeah.

Well, all I can offer you
is a title bump.

Like what?

Senior Assistant
to the Deputy Chief of Staff

for Strategic Planning.
That's my title now.

Then I can't offer you
a title bump.

The sugar subsidy editorial
and the facebook, okay?

Cooper and Hooper.

( knock on door )

What do you need?

There's a thing in this
we need to be careful of.

What?

They say they'll approve

a new scale of
peacekeeping assessments

if there's a cost-
sharing mechanism

but it isn't fully
addressed here.

You're going to want me to
rewrite some of this language

before the President
goes to the U.N.

Mm.

What?

Let me ask you something.

Before, when I said
that you were enough

to make a good dog
break his leash

you understand that men

we're the dog, right?

I was the dog.

I understood
the metaphor.

Okay.

The peacekeeping
assessment has to be

based on per capita
income of each country

with Category J
countries paying

the least
at a 90% discount.

I meant it to make you
feel good.

It did.

Although I
certainly meant it.
I appreciate it.

I didn't mean to demean you.

I kind of need you
to listen along.

Okay.

Category A countries
will be paying a premium

actually over-paying
to cover the discounts

for Category J states.

Yeah.

So we
need to be

more specific
about Category A.

It's going
to be important.

I was told that I demeaned you.

You didn't.

I was told that I did.
By who?

By someone named Celia.

She was mistaken.
You sure?

If I felt demeaned

I'd be among the very
first people to know.

Terrific.

Here are my notes.

I'll rewrite them now.

You'll stick around?

What else would I do
on a Friday night?

I don't like to pry.

ANDY:
America doesn't have a monopoly

on what's right.

And even if we did

I think you're going
to have a tough time

convincing the Arab world.

Well, we'd like to talk
to them about it.

That ought to do the trick.

Worth a shot.

The U.S. Constitution

defends religious pluralism.

It doesn't reduce all of Islam
to fanaticism.

Neither does this speech.

It calls fanaticism,
fanaticism.

Toby...
It's fanaticism
whether we

call it that or not, so we're
going to call it that.

We respect all religions,
all cultures.

To a point.

Yes, to a point.

Grotesque oppression isn't okay

just because it's been
institutionalized.

If you ask me, we should've
gotten into the game

three, four decades ago

but they're coming for us now,
so it's time to saddle up.

Toby...

We do know what's right.

This is why they hate us.

There's a lot of reasons
why they hate us.

You know when they're
going to like us?

When we win.

LEONARD:
C.J...

Okay...

Please tell me
what's happening.

Janet, we're working some back
channels right now.

I think if you can make
yourself comfortable here

we might have some news
in an hour or so.

The government's going to
give these people money?

No, we can't buy
them off directly

but what we do is we
offer to withhold money

from their enemies.

And if that doesn't work?

Your husband is employed by
a billion dollar corporation.

Janet, Mrs. Carlson

would pay... whatever.

Ransom.
Yeah.

Let's not get
that far right now.

Listen, your clothes are wet.

Can I get you some...

No, no, I'm fine.

Okay.

Okay.

I-I should stay here?

Yeah.

STANLEY:
Insomnia is a pretty common

symptom of depression.

Are you depressed?

No.

I didn't think so.

Some people are predisposed
to insomnia in times of

acute stress.

Are you under
any stress?

Is there any stress
in your...

...job at all, or...?

But, seriously, folks

has there been an unusual
amount of stress lately?

Well

Congress was investigating me.

Yeah.

And I was censured.

Then I had to give

the State of
the Union.
Yeah.

I'm running for
re-election.

Mm-hmm.

Things are blowing
up everywhere

and I have chosen
the General Assembly of the U.N.

to define
a tougher foreign policy.

Not unusually stressful, no.

I don't like the word "stress."

It's a Madison Avenue word.

It's something that can be
cured with flavored coffee

and bath bubbles.

So you don't feel stress?

I have a job I like,
and my family's healthy.

That doesn't mean you're
not entitled to feel stress.

Stress is for other people.

What other people?
I'm saying

it's not stress.

I was feeling stressed
five nights ago, too

and I slept fine.

So what happened
four nights ago?

I want my money back.

This is a very
unusual conversation.

I get that a lot.

I'd imagine.

So what do you charge?

$375 an hour.

For $375 an hour, you ought
to bring your own damn lingerie.

I do.

There's a great story
about Arthur Miller.

Death of a Salesman
had just opened on Broadway

the night before,
and he was walking around

his old neighborhood
in Brooklyn and he sees

a hot dog vendor that he
went to high school with

and he says, "Hey, Jimmy,
it's me, Arthur Miller."

And the hot dog vendor says,
"Artie, how you doing?

What you been up to?"

And Miller says, "I'm, you know,
I'm a playwright."

And the hot dog vendor says,
"Hmm, play writing.

I should have gone into that."

$375 an hour.

Yes, sir.

For what?

I don't really know.

( sighs )

I can't sleep.

I can't sleep.

I'll be tired and I'll lie
there and it doesn't happen.

What happened
four nights ago?

I won the Iowa caucus.

Anything else?

That's not enough?

Mr. President...

if you were
any other patient...

Say what you'd say
to any other patient.

I'd say, screw around if you
want, but it's your money

it's about to be my money,
and I sleep fine.

I had a conversation
with one of my aides that night

after we got back from Iowa.

He called me on something.

What?

Well, I guess we talked
about a lot of things.

Who we think the Republican
challenger is going to be

and incumbency,
and campaign

strategy, strategic overview

but the long and short of it is,
my father never liked me at all.

Well, at least we're
closer to my area now.

Yeah, I thought
you'd enjoy that.

( groans softly )

Charlie?

Yeah?

Are you in pain?

No.

Charlie?

Yes?

Have you been
playing basketball?

Yes.

Did you get beat?

No.

Charlie?
Yes.

Who'd you play?
Doesn't matter.

Ed?
No.

Larry?
No.

Jack?
No.

Did you get
beat by Manny?

No.

Who?

Deanna.

Your sister?

Yes.

Your little sister?

She plays varsity, Sam.

Girls varsity.

She played a finesse game.

Man, you can't walk.

Yeah.

I don't know
what's happening to my life.

Listen, I can tell

you're down in the dumps,
but let's talk about me.

Okay.

If your sister was
getting ready

for a night out, and I said

"Deanna, you're enough to make
a good dog break his leash"

would you think I was a cad?

I'd think you were a hick.

AINSLEY:
Sam...
Hang on.

Because of the sentiment
or the expression?

It's my sister?
Yeah.

I'd beat you up.
You and how many
Girl Scouts?

If I could stand up...

Sam...
But if it wasn't
your sister.

Then you're fine.

He says I'm fine.

You're not, 'cause this
isn't quite right.

Still?
!
It needs to be clear

that the total assessment
is down to 25%

from 27% for Category A.

We've been in this fight.

AINSLEY:
But if we pay before...

Hang on. Here she is.

Celia, I asked Ainsley

and she said
she didn't mind at all

plus, Charlie said
he's fine with it.

Charlie's a man.

Damn right.

Sam?
Yes?

We need to be clear
we're not going
to take a bath

when other countries can
afford to take on more.

Yes.
This is important.

I also think it's
important to make clear
that I'm not a sexist.

And that I'm all man.

You're Celia?

Yes.
He's not a sexist.

If you're willing
to let your sexuality

diminish your power.
I'm sorry?

I said I'm surprised
you're willing to let

your sexuality
diminish your power.

I don't even know
what that means.

I think you do.
And I think you think

I'm made out
of candy glass, Celia.

If somebody says something
that offends you, tell them

but all women don't
have to think alike.

and when somebody said something
that offended me, I did say so.

I like it
when the guys tease me.

It's an inadvertent show
of respect I'm on the team

and I don't mind it
when it gets sexual.

And you know why?
I like sex.

Hello.
I don't think
whatever sexuality

I may have
diminishes my power.

I think it enhances it.

And what kind
of feminism do
you call that?

My kind.

It's called
Lipstick Feminism.

I call it
Stiletto Feminism.

Stilettos?

You're not in enough
trouble already?

I suppose I am.

Isn't the point that Sam
wouldn't have been able to find

another way to be chummy
with a woman

who wasn't sexually appealing?

He would be able to,
but that isn't the point.

The point is
that sexual revolution

tends to get in the way
of actual revolution.

Nonsense issues distract
attention away from real ones:

pay equity, child care,
honest-to-God sexual harassment

and in this case

a speech in front of the
U.N. General Assembly.

So, you, 25% on
the assessments

for Category A.

You...

I don't know what
your thing is.

And, you, stop trying
to take the fun out of my day.

With that, I'm going
to get a cupcake.

Well, for the moment,
at least

I'm going to do what
she's telling me to do.

We're at O.E.O.B.

Okay.

How you doing?

There.

It's not the best
in the world

but it's hot.

I'm sorry
I didn't ask you

your name before.

Donna.

Really?

Yeah.

Our daughter is Donna.

How old is she?

She's seven months.

And her brother Harry is three.

Three and a quarter.

He'd want me
to say that.

How does it work
with the money, do you know?

I don't.

I'm an assistant here.

Bill's written...

I know he's written
negative things

about the President...

No.

and he and C.J.
don't really...

Nobody cares
about that tonight.

Okay.

And you want to know
a secret about C.J.?

But you can't tell your
husband this, really.

She battles with
them every day

but she loves reporters.

She's very
protective of them

and it, it doesn't matter
whether... you know?

TOBY:
It took... it took...

Andrea, it took three days

to get the language
through NSC and the NSA.

Yes.
It isn't coming out
of the speech.

I didn't think it was.

Why are we here for an hour?

Several members
have drafted an insert.

Will you look at it?

Sure.

This would follow
your paragraph.

"Our goal is neither to preach
nor proclaim American values.

"We have deep respect

"for our Islamic brothers
and sisters

"and we have a great deal
to learn from the values

"of... tolerance and faith

that are deeply held
throughout the Islamic world."

So this is your way of saying
any resemblance

the previous paragraph
may have had to foreign policy

is purely coincidental.

That's right.

Guess what.

What?

Our goal is to proclaim
American values.

The speech isn't supposed
to be about ideology.

It's supposed to be
about reality.

I think the President
will decide

what the speech
is supposed to be about

but the reality is
the United States of America

no longer sucks up
to reactionaries

and our staunch allies
will know what we mean.

We don't have any staunch allies
in the Arab world

just reluctant ones.

We've a coalition held
together with duct tape.

A coalition without
which we cannot fight.

Nobody's blowing off
the coalition

and that coalition
will be plenty strong.

When we win?
That's right.

What's Egypt going
to think? Or Pakistan?

That freedom and democracy
are coming soon

to a theater near them

so get dressed.

Toby...

you guys are on
a thing right now.

And I'm behind you.

You know I'm behind you

a lot of House
Democrats are...

Not enough.

...and plenty
of Republicans

but this one
moment in time

you have to get
off your horse

and just...

simply put-- be nice
to the Arab world.

Be nice?

Yes.

Well...

how about when we,
instead of blowing Iraq back

to the seventh century
for harboring terrorists

and trying to develop
nuclear weapons

we just imposed
economic sanctions

and we're reviled
by the Arab world

for not giving them
a global charge card

and a free trade treaty?

How about when we pushed Israel
to give up land for peace?

How about when we sent American
soldiers to protect Saudi Arabia

and the Arab world told us

we were desecrating
their Holy Land?

We'll ignore the fact
that we were invited.

How about two weeks ago,
in the State of the Union

when the President praised
the Islamic people

as "faithful and hardworking"

only to be denounced
in the Arab press

as knowing nothing
about Islam

but none of that is the point.

What's the point?

I don't remember
having to explain it

to Italians that our problem
wasn't with them

but with Mussolini.

Why does the U.S. have to take
every Arab country out

for an ice cream cone?!

They'll like us when we win!

Thousands of madrases

teaching children nothing,
nothing

nothing but the Koran

and to hate America.

Who do we see about that?

Do I want to preach America?

Judeo-Christianity? No.

If their religion forbids them
from playing the trumpet

so be it.

But I want those kids to...
look at a globe.

Be exposed

to social sciences, history.

Some literature.

They'll like us when we win.

Okay.

Let me take another look
at the softer language.

( sighs )

LEONARD:
How's she doing?

She was asking
how the money works

and I didn't know.

It's not money.

Actually, it's a promise
to honor international sanctions

against the export
of something called "Col-Tan"

by the Rwandan army.

What's Col-Tan?

It's a mineral they have
a lot of in the Congo.

When you refine it

it's a necessary component
of cell phones and pagers

and the Rwandans and Ugandans
smuggle it illegally.

Listen.

What do you know?

Akin Wamba, who's
the MaiMai rebel commander

sent word through a crew

that was filming in Goma.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

He was killed
in an ambush.

Embassy Kinshasa's
going to get the body.

( indistinct voices )
No, please...

No!

No.

Oh, no.

Oh, my... Oh, my God.

( sobbing ):
Oh, God, no...

STANLEY:
It can't be easy being you.

I told you...

I don't mean the job.

I meant, uh, you know,
being inside your head.

What's wrong with my head?

I don't know.

Of course not.

That would be $385 an hour.

They keep moving the goalposts
on you, don't they?

Get As, good college

Latin honors.

Get into the London
School of Economics.

Get a good teaching job

Ivy League school, tenure.

Now you got to publish

now you got to go
to Stockholm.

It's not good for a person
to keep setting goals?

It probably is,
but it's tricky for somebody

who's still trying
to get his father

to stop hitting him.

Well, I'm told that most men
lead lives of quiet desperation.

Yeah, but that's most men.

That's not you.

That's the other people

the one's who feel stress.

You're destined
for something else.

I have abilities.

Mm. And now you have
an opportunity to use them.

I think I have.

That room I passed
down the hall, on the left

it's got a name, right?

I think you're talking
about the Lincoln Bedroom.

Right.

This is a hell of a curve
you get graded on now.

Lincoln freed

the slaves
and won the Civil War.

"Thank you. Next.

"And what will
you be singing

for us today,
Mr. Bartlet?"

"Well, we've had six straight
quarters of economic growth."

That's not easy.

Okay.

It's not easy.

I believe you.

I think I've made
tough choices.

I think Lincoln

did what he thought was right

even though it meant losing
half the country.

I think you don't do
what you think is right

if it means
losing Michigan's

electoral votes.

You don't know anything.

I'll be the first to admit that.

I'm not trying to get my father
to like me.

Good.

'Cause it's never, never

going to happen.

Look...

We're done
for the night.

What?

We've been here
for two hours.

It was a double session.

We're done
for the night.

Stanley,
I hate to put it this way

but I'm me and you're you

and we're done
when I say we're done.

No.

I think you could use some
assistance right now, sir.

Use me, don't use me

but all I can
offer you is this:

I'll be the only
person in the world

other than your family

who doesn't care that
you're the President.

Our time is up.

( thunder rumbling )