Original subtitles

Breast augmentation should proportionally enlarge

existing breast dimensions to maintain aesthetic balance.

Patients understand dimensions more than volume.

Breast augmentation should...

widening the breast laterally and makes the waist appear smaller.

I am whole.

I'm free to love who I am.

My breath is deep and calm.

Find your way in life by finding the new you.

Discover and remember

that you are the world.

Thoughts run freely through my mind.

Release yourself into the rock pool of tranquillity.

Toxins wash away.

Understand and overcome fears, frustrations

- I'm safe. - dependencies.

Food is my friend, nourishing my body.

Conquer those little addictions

- and start to connect to the whole. - Free to love my body

by which we are all lit,

a universal quantum intelligence.

An infinite kaleidoscope of interconnected wave and particle action

- in the zero-point field. - I am free.

Affirm the things that give you pleasure.

My new pink trousers

sunshine

I am calm.

Free to be lona.

Free to be lona.

Mom!

What the fuck are you doing?

Get out! For God's sake, put that down!

Put that down! Put it down!

Get out!

Fuck off.

But, Mom.

Coffee?

No way, baby, I'm married.

Now that was funny.

Quick! Ballpark.

Marcus, 1:00, Puran's Meet you there.

Right. Absolutely. Just finishing off here.

Fuck.

- Hello, pussycat. - Hello.

- Trent. - Hey, Trent.

- Got your Frankenstein fish farm piece. - Yeah?

- Some good stuff in it, but - But what?

Timing's off Guardian ran three evil scares last week.

- Sorry about that - This is a proper fuckin' story.

It's a think piece Not really what I wanted.

Is there a problem with thinking?

- Yeah, possibly. - Wait.

Don't tell me our readers wouldn't be slightly curious to discover

the fish fillet they munch with their requisite glass of chardonnay

came from a two-headed fuckin' mutant from the black lagoon.

Keep it lively, personal, real.

What is more real than a crippled ecology?

Our crippled circulation

I need an old fisherman blokey selling up, heartbreak sort of thing.

- No, I don't write soap opera. - Oh, spare me.

All right, I need something on Ilsa,

the dyke that won the Eurovision Song thing

I need 3,000 words Do it in your sleep.

- In my dreams, you mean? - Them too, Trent Yeah.

Fine one, sir Follow me.

Things all right?

Yes, yes, I'm sorry Sorry I'm late.

- Got a bit hung up. - How's that trainee of yours?

Sarita? Yeah, she's she's great.

Great Bright.

We've been keeping an eye on you, Marcus.

Yes, well, I'm sorry about the, the music I was.

You might want to try the Vieux Télégraphe, if you're having the beef.

It's fuckin' nectar.

Actually, I'm just gonna have some mineral water.

Really? Oh, I'm disappointed.

It's not every day I take an employee to lunch

to formalise their partnership in the firm.

Welcome aboard.

Well, I'm I'm honoured, I'm honoured.

God knows what I'm gonna tell Harrison.

If he had your billings and your client list he'd be a partner already.

You're an asset, Marcus.

Hello? Hel Hello.

No, I have been waiting for ten bloody minutes.

Come on, then Come on, keep up

I'm well aware of that.

Let me tell you, I've been painting up in Cooperstown over 30 years

I know of no notification this area has been reassigned for army use,

nothing to indicate a change in enmity lines.

No.

I'd like you to work alongside me for a while,

get you fully up to speed.

Your father would approve.

He still sits, doesn't he?

Less and less Spends most of his time pursuing unfulfilled creative urges

perched at an easel somewhere remote.

Does he now? Hats off.

Aylesbury.

Oh, for God's sake, like the town, yes.

Because I'm a high court judge

and chairman of the county bloody boundaries committee!

Idiot woman.

Bureaucrat.

Oh, for God's sake.

Yes? Who is this?

Give me a kiss Come on now.

Hello?

- Oh! - Penelope

Penelope

Penelope!

Good God, darling!

Are you hurt? Are are you hurt?

- Are you all right? - Oh, that gave me a fright.

The bloody thing came right off the roof and bang!

- I was on the phone. - It's all right, darling

- I'm all right, just terribly shocked. - Yes, of course you are.

- We could have lost you. - Are the dogs all right?

I'm all right, I'm all right It's just so frightening.

Listen, we must get Chambers onto this.

Look, this whole thing, could be a fault right the way through there.

- We've got to watch that one now. - Sure you're all right?

Just a bit frightened I'm terribly sorry.

Well, you were in the middle of something, and I just.

So how is the Robin Hood of the classical art world?

Alive and kicking I fight the good fight

I've got ginger, lemon, honey, milk.

Couple of anti-depressants? No sugar.

The Prozac's been wolfed, I'm afraid.

There's Seroxat, Xanax If you want to go really retro, Valium,

- or there's some Viagra. - Whatever you've got

I can see Orlando's immersed in the Phoenicians,

proving innate good taste and erudition There you go.

- Thanks. - So I'll be back about 6:00, 6:30.

Is that all right? Do you mind?

What's a godfather for?

Anyway, I've got this amazing Piranesi folio from the office

that we can look at together.

Stunning It's worth more than the flat.

So how are you, gorgeous?

I'm seeing a woman with a moustache about my parenting flaws

and my residual bulimia.

And, I'm doing autogenic self-hypnosis

to try and keep the low self-esteem at bay.

- Think it's working. - How horrific.

Getting back to work But it's just really exciting for me at the moment

because I am beginning to to find the real me.

Sounds terrifying.

So this woman, her moustache,

is it thick?

- Yes, it is, actually. - I knew it would be.

A, B, C, D, E

F F, F, F Forty-nine.

Tell me about Viagra Research purposes.

Yes, of course Well, I've only used it once,

a long time ago.

It was a beautiful boy Spectacular results.

But actually, I don't go for that.

Basically, I don't shag much anymore.

The yogis believe you shouldn't be too profligate with your sexual fluids.

Does that go for girls?

I can't speak for girls.

Mr Griffin.

You're not the first ex-cop.

They usually think this is gonna be easier.

Well, I mean, technically, it was, depression.

They don't like to say "lacking the will to live".

Just kidding I'm fine now.

It's just, you know, finding

what's right for you, what you're good at.

And right now I'm, cruising down Route 66

if, if you know what I mean.

Right OK.

So as a family support worker,

you're qualified now for initial assessments, visits and reports, OK?

Bit of advice: Don't let yourself get too involved.

These people's lives, take it from me, bit of a mess.

They can try and suck you in over your head.

Keep it sharp, all right?

Some people can get into real trouble for stepping out of line.

You probably know all that from being a copper.

- Yeah. - Gloria Garcia Ramirez

de something?

Glorious year.

We sent a letter, no reply, needs an initial assessment.

Single mother, one kid,

housing benefit, income support.

Got hep C somehow That's it.

Right So, when's the next visit scheduled?

Three weeks ago.

Right.

I'm thinking of starting embroidery classes, needlepoint

I don't know, sounds ridiculous, but there's something about

those tiny little stitches I find it appealing.

Of course I'll be hopeless.

Tell me about the bird incident

Orlando.

Well, there was a lot of blood and dirt

and then this lunatic screeching

that just cut right through me.

Try to distinguish between emotion and intellect, lona.

You think there was a good deal of blood, you feel horror.

And the bird was what?

It was dead.

Oh, magpie sort of thing.

- Did Orlando kill it, do you think? - No.

When a child harms an animal deliberately, alarm bells ring.

No, no, no, no, no No, no I mean, well.

We adore him.

Of course I mean.

Of course.

Two-B To be or not to be.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Gloria? GI.

Gloria Gloria Ramirez de Arroyo.

Hello, it's My name is Colin from Social Services.

Hello Are you Gloria?

Fuck off, social! Shitheads.

She stays with me.

- Jesus won't let you touch her. - Right.

Listen, I'm not gonna touch you, either of you,

I promise you Promise you

I just, I've just come to see if you're OK.

Your doctors are a bit, a bit concerned They Hello.

How are you?

What the fuck do you know?

Right If that's OK with you,

I'll just, come come in.

- Just checking, really. - Checking, checking.

- Like a spy. - No, no I have no secrets

I'm I'm just here to say hello.

Oh, hello How nice How are we today?

- Oh, I'm fine, thanks. - Bullshit!

Bullshit.

Actually, I've never done this sort of thing before.

- So see. - Mama.

Hello.

Come here.

We know how it is You send a birthday card,

and inside it says, "We put you in a home".

Right, I see So,

So that's how they do it, is it?

Jesus, are you stupid, or are you just a real sickhead?

I'm not sure.

Oh!

Sorry.

Yeah, one normal.

- Is it real mayonnaise? - Salad cream

I wanted real mayonnaise OK, doesn't matter.

Can I have salmon, please, on brown, lemon, pepper and a Coke

Christ on a bike, it's the Earl of Posh.

Fuck me, it's Marvin Gaye Where have you been, you bastard?

Don't go for the fish, unless you want your kids to have gills.

It's good to see you What have you been up to?

- What's wrong with my fish then? - Don't get me going.

Growth hormones, antibiotics, carcinogenic PCBs

I presume the soapbox you preach from is made from sustainable resources.

Yeah, it is, actually But it should make a good story, though.

What about you? Do you wear a kinky wig?

Wendell Wharton Blunt Financial law.

Yawn now.

You know Actually, they just made me a partner.

Nice Big swinging dick.

Yeah Feels good in the wig, wife loves it.

This is so weird.

Just the other day, I found a couple of old Reptile tapes.

- Oh, no. - My vocals are just criminal.

Some of your guitar playing is actually passable.

- Is it? - Yeah, it's nice and tight.

So how's lona? I should've married her.

- Still might. - She's great, great.

She's really great She's got a lot of business on, modern art stuff she does.

It's unbelievable They're like pop stars now.

Are they? They're like popular music artistes?

You should bloody ask her, then Listen, mate, I gotta go.

Listen, yeah, come and see us.

She'd like that Come up to my dad's place one weekend.

All right Well, call me.

OK I will. I've got your number

written on the back of my eye.

Cheers Good to see you.

See you.

How do you save a lawyer from drowning?

I don't know, Geoffrey How do you save a lawyer from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.

Step inside.

Here That should cheer up a Monday lunchtime.

Well, you didn't think we'd make you a partner

without giving you a little bonus

Jesus, Geoffrey, these are worth £300,000.

An expensive wife shouldn't have to feel like a toothache.

You've earned it.

Bingo.

Careful, that's hot.

- What is this? - Soup.

You think I can't cook

can't feed my child?

Yeah, well, I can't cook either.

That's why it's Cup O' Soup.

You think I'm stupid?

You think you'll get in my pants now?

Yeah, well, now that you mention it, yeah, I thought.

Yeah, Cup O' Soup should do it.

- Get out. - Oh, look, I'm really sorry.

- That was a stupid joke. - Get out!

- OK, I'm going. - Out! Out!

Out! ¡Fuera!

Gloria, Gloria.

I'm sorry.

Sickhead!

Could be.

Could be Rembrandt.

I think it's a 1634.

I bet it is, I bet it is.

And that is quite exciting.

Check your bag please, madam.

Yes, certainly.

Thank you, madam.

- Bye. - That's all right, Mr Tulloch.

- Good night, Michael. - Good night.

What are you wearing?

- Not much. - No, I mean, the smell.

Oh, it's face cream.

It's essential.

It's weird.

Not that bad then?

Not.

- You all right? Sure? - Yep.

Yeah?

Oh I'm knackered.

Night, night.

I just want something a little bit bigger, just a little bit.

Well, we can certainly help you with volume and structure.

Try this one again on the left.

Good?

Good, good, good?

These are a few examples of our work.

And, do bear in mind this procedure is very easily achieved.

We make many ladies much more confident and happier about themselves.

- Yes. - Really.

Piano section upstairs if you're interested, mate.

All right Sorry Can't beat a Gibson.

- How much is it? - This one?

This one's expensive.

A third time, yes.

Perhaps you'd like to tell me whose dick I have to suck to

Clifford, hello! Yes, lona.

Yeah, lona Aylesbury.

Three times, actually.

No, I deal in contemporary art.

Yes.

Oh, no, no, I don't think you'd have.

You'd have heard of them yet

I'm gonna cut straight to the chase because I know you're busy

I'm preparing an article on the cream

of the capital's contemporary galleries,

and, I'd really love to talk to you.

Well, I'm only speaking to the most exclusive

I really do think you would.

OK

Fine Fuck you.

- Wendell Wharton Blunt. - Marcus Aylesbury, please lona.

Oh, lona, hi Marcus isn't here He's, not back from lunch yet.

Well, where is he?

It's half past 3:00.

Sorry, no idea What should I tell him?

Just that I called.

- Thank you. - OK, bye.

Bitch.

Orlando!

Orlando!

For Christ's sake, Orlando, will you please go find Janet?

And the fireman took out his pistol

and shot them in the face Blood was pouring everywhere

- and his eyes were hanging. - Orlando, what'd you have for supper?

- Bananas. - Bananas What is that?

- Some gross deficiency, I expect. - Orlando, come on.

Reading practise.

Come on!

Go on, champ, scram.

You are not my father.

You are not my mother.

You're the weakest link that ever was Goodbye.

Good riddance, too.

It's too much television.

I called you earlier today.

Oh, shit Sorry Sarita said.

- Anything important? - Nope.

I forgot to tell you I bumped into an old mate of mine from college,

Trent Masters He was a singer in our band, The Reptiles Remember him?

Yeah He gave us a salad bowl with a price tag on it.

- He's all right? - He's a journalist now.

Very bright He's gone very political, he's an eco-warrior.

So what do you think?

Do I look all right?

Yeah, you look great.

Big impact Looks good.

Yeah, but do I look sexy?

Yeah Yeah.

Of course you look sexy.

All right, mate I'll see you tomorrow.

Soup man What are you doing here?

Third time lucky You weren't in earlier

I was worried about you.

Where's Maria?

You think I can't look after myself or my daughter?

- No, I was just worried about you. - Piss off!

- Half an hour, I promise. - All right.

When I hear the word "zeitgeist" I tend to reach for my rifle.

- I sense danger. - Oh, dear.

- I want to talk to you about this. - Great Come to the office

I'd love to talk to you about it.

I just bought one of the pieces.

It's beautiful, powerful.

Move the Damian, make some space for it.

- Do you think? - Come on!

This is an incredible piece.

You know it's a solid investment

and we're supporting artists, and I think that's a good thing.

- Right. - You haven't.

You have, have you? Oh, lordy, no.

All right? As long as you had a good night out.

Good night.

You need some help? Something wrong with you?

Well, if you think you're all right.

What do you see? Don't I look all right?

I just work late, OK?

Soup man!

If you want a job, you can look at my sink.

It's better But you need a new washer

I'll bring one next time.

Don't fucking touch her.

Hey, hey Hey, hey.

Easy Easy, easy.

Maybe you should Maybe you should lie down.

OK Let's have you down.

You all right?

- Yeah. - You sure you're OK?

I'm just tired.

OK,

There you go.

Fred Astaire.

Thank you, miss I'm sure you'll be really happy with this.

Of course there's a monthly rollover of 15,000

with an overdraft limit on that account of ten.

Yeah, always good to have a cushion.

Yeah, cushion may be wearing a little thin.

Blimey

Jesus Christ OK.

Well, we better transfer 15K from the savings account pronto if you could.

The minister's here Wharton's in the boardroom.

Yeah, I'm on my way Yeah, good Thanks Bye.

Yeah, bye-bye Shit!

Marcus, Lord Killally.

- Sorry I'm late Marcus Aylesbury. - Robert's fine.

Lord Killally is minister of state for housing and planning,

- and our long-term client. - Yeah, absolutely.

We set up the blind trust that administers all your assets, I remember.

Who runs it for you now, sir?

I've been running it, but I'd like you to take over the reins for awhile.

Supervise the investments, et cetera, on the trust's behalf.

Thank you, sir I'm flattered

I've done a lot of work with the city,

so you should be in safe hands.

Lord Killally's assets comprise 17 listed companies

and a personal fortune of some £400 million.

I don't need to say there can be no conflict of interest

between the minister's role in government and his business affairs.

Of course not

I'm not allowed to tie me shoelaces without asking you first.

In fact, I'm not allowed to ask you at all.

Probably not allowed to wear shoes.

Yes, well, I think we can

I think we can work a middle where you look after Robert's interests

while he looks after those of the nation.

- Bless you. - We aim to please.

Of course you do I'll expect nothing less.

Very good.

Hello.

You're a good girl Yes, you are.

Did you miss me?

Of course you missed me.

You always miss me.

You're a good rabbit, aren't you?

Yes, you are.

You're so fluffy.

You are.

I'm sorry.

That's all right Your breathing is much better Well done.

Listen, sorry about the time We've gone a little bit over.

Don't worry, there's nothing going on here.

Can I take a shower?

Yeah It's, down the corridor on the left, third door

I'll just be a minute.

Munchkin, Mum here Are you there? Over.

Mum here Are you there?

Darling, have you had anything to eat yet?

? It's so boring It's so tedious.

Oh, hi Yeah, we're just working on the Killally contracts together.

Just wondered whether there was an ETA on your return.

Sorry We've got shitloads of this Killally stuff.

Oh Is this gonna be a regular occurrence?

Yes Probably Very likely.

It's expected now at weekends.

They've put my name on the letterheads.

Sure Sorry Well, at least you got your little helper.

Jesus Yes, I have.

Been here since before 6:00 this morning.

- How's Orlando? - Orlando's fine

- I'm just gonna give him his supper. - Give him a kiss for me

- I'll do another hour and head back. - OK Bye-bye

Orlando!

Orlando, I've been looking for you for ages.

What's this?

What is it?

What the bloody hell have you been doing?

Who gives a shit about your rabbit's name!

- What is your problem? - Please don't hit me!

I have never hit you in my entire life though I really feel like doing it now.

What the hell is going on in your head?

Thank you, please!

Year ten, please!

Year ten!

Thank you.

I'd like to introduce you to Mr Tulloch.

This morning Mr Tulloch is going to share with us

some of his artistic knowledge.

- And I wish him the very best of luck. - So do we.

Thank you, Hendrix.

Now, Mr Tulloch works at an auction house,

where he deals with very old pictures

- called Old Masters. - Like you?

OK, Hendrix Because the work is masterful in its execution.

- Welcome to year ten. - Thank you Hello.

- Great Fantastic. - Hi there.

Have some paperwork for you to look over

- I want it centred on that wall. - Right, OK.

Now, a great deal of what we know about these artists

comes from the work of a great Italian historian

called Giorgio Vasari.

- He's got a jacket by him. - That's Giorgio Armani, you prick

Hendrix, please.

- Here's another. - Where's his willy?

Don't do it, sir.

Right there.

Graffiti is one of the oldest art forms.

You have to master the technique of the spray can

just as you have to do with chalk.

And I think we have a few minutes left.

Before we finish,

I know that Mr Tulloch has something very special to show us.

Oh, yes This is something which I've borrowed to show you.

This is by an artist you may have heard of.

His name is Rembrandt.

This is a This is.

A study in hands They seem to be hands at prayer.

How much is it worth, then, sir?

It's worth a great deal I couldn't say for sure.

Hundreds of thousands, maybe.

- Let's have a look! - Hendrix, back!

Don't touch Just sit down and I'll come for you.

All right, that's enough.

Thank you very much, Mr Tulloch.

Next week we're gonna carry on with this Thank you, Hendrix.

The only sound I'm getting is the whirr of your credit cards.

- Can you take that? - No.

Take off the Manolos.

- Can you clear out? Throw stuff out? - Yeah.

- Re-energise? - Yes, yes.

Detox your closet?

Janet?

Janet!

- Yeah. - I'm doing a big chuck-out.

Clothes and things I'd like you to take them to the charity shop.

Sure I'll get the garbage bags ready, shall I?

Yeah.

It's like Bruce Lee, that

Bruce Lee?

Hey, isn't that Hey, isn't that that teacher?

Ex Expensive piece.

Quickly Come on.

- Hello. - Want to buy a car, sir?

- Boys You're in the class? - Yeah.

Oh How can I help you?

- Thought we'd say hello. - I see.

This where you live, then, sir?

You don't have to call me sir You can call me Stephen.

Big house, isn't it?

I don't live in the whole house I have a flat inside.

It's a, Victorian dispensary.

- It's a listed building. - Oh, OK.

Come on, I need the toilet Now.

Well, if you're that desperate, you're welcome to come use mine.

Well, now, can I?

Well, needs must.

Come in.

You like pictures, don't you, sir?

Loads of 'em.

Yes, I do like pictures Well, good ones, anyway.

"All have fallen short of the glory of God."

What?

That's.

That's weird.

Yes I suppose it might be.

Cheers, sir I was bursting.

- Any time. - Come on, lads.

Bye.

Right, everybody, a toast, I think,

to my dear son Marcus

for his recent partnership

with the prestigious firm of Wendell Wharton Blunt.

- Marcus. - Cheers.

Dad, haven't we Haven't we done this once already?

Can't an old man have some pride?

- I mean. - Big dick.

- Jolly good. - You were saying that,

you're not going to plant anything new?

Not initially, no it's part of a five-year program

to run the estate entirely on ecological lines.

It's all Penelope She's brilliant.

The idea is to keep the hedgerows untouched

and have an eight-foot margin either side before the crop line,

and do you know the ground nesting birds have already quadrupled?

Oh, excuse me, this is exactly my field.

It's my job to let people know how important this stuff is.

Really?

We get the loonies ripping out the snares by the lake

I mean, you know, we only set traps to protect wild birds

like lapwings and grey partridges

Penelope manages to keep calm I get I feel hot under the collar.

People position their passions differently.

Usually through blind ignorance

I must say one finds oneself increasingly preferring

the company of plants and animals to that of people.

- Oh, my God It bit Mrs. - Oh, my God

I'm terribly sorry It's blood from the local abattoir.

They spray it in the fertilizer

and it comes this way when the wind's in the east

I'm doing everything I can.

What's this, hurling blood all over the countryside?

You all right? So sorry.

No, I'm fine.

I'm fine I'm fine.

I hope they gave you a damned good handshake.

Look, I've never wanted to be a judge, Dad.

Anyway, look, the point is, he thinks the world of you.

Different style They're a clever firm Everyone says so.

Listen, downstairs is out of bounds at night.

The bugger alarm Bloody nuisance.

Good night.

- Good night. - Good night, Dad.

Englishman's home is his prison.

There's no love lost between your dad and your boss, what's his name?

Wharton He'd sell his grandmother for a pint.

I don't know.

- Give us a drag. - Really?

Come to the dark side, Marcus.

What was that?

It's got to be right now.

- Have you seen Scoogie, darling? - He's right here.

- Oh. - Frightful halitosis, but very happy.

Well, it happens to the best of us.

Look, I may need a day or so in town at the end of the month,

see the chaps and whatnot.

- I'll do a list. - Well done, well done.

Oh, yes, I'll speak to chambers about that bloody stone.

- Good night, darling. - Yes.

It's based on what the Greeks called a paradisos,

which is a perfect balance

between nature and artifice, colour and form.

Well, you've, you've really got that It's amazing.

Oh, it's something of a passion.

Obviously.

No, you can't catch me.

- Oh, yes, I can! - No! No, no!

Yes! And one, two, three!

Morning, sir.

Free Oh!

Fuck! No, stop it! Get off!

Is everything all right, lona?

- Mum fell. - I'm gonna go and change.

Fuck!

Well, you're not appropriately dressed, really, lona.

- What? - You're not appropriately dressed.

- Fiona, it's me. - Hi, Trent.

Why isn't Bushey taking my calls? Why didn't we run the Maycom story?

Sorry I left a message on your machine.

She said our lawyers went bananas Research, sources, I don't know.

- That's bullshit Fuckin' bullshit! - I'm not the one who.

Get Bushey to call me fuckin' back, OK?

Next time don't call my fucking machine when I'm not there.

That's why I've got a mobile Call me on it, for fuck's sake, you stupid.

I found your guitar in all that stuff in the wardrobe and.

Why don't you just come clean about Sarita?

What? What?!

Come clean about Sarita? You're crazy You've gone crazy.

Why don't we start with your out-of-control shopaholism.

Buy, buy, buy!

Honestly, I don't know where to begin.

Bye.

You know, I feel very sexually frustrated

and inadequate.

And I have no idea what you want.

Cancer.

Gloria.

- She's got cancer, right? - Hepatitis.

It's the boy we're worried about, not the mother.

Girl Maria She's fine.

Liver cancer.

That's why we're recruiting We just can't keep up.

She'll need to go straight into hospital.

Four months ago.

Hepatocellular carcinoma.

Six months, they've given her,

and four of them have been sitting in your bloody filing cabinet

I mean I mean

I had no idea.

You should be in hospital.

Don't you fucking tell me what to do!

My fucking thing.

They can help the pain.

They will take my daughter away

and I'm not gonna let them.

You understand that I have no one here.

Can you please get me some more of these?

Please?

OK

Does,

Does Maria know?

Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

Does she have any idea?

I want you to go.

I want you to leave.

Please go.

Please go away.

No, but if Dead Boy Bart's graveyard compatibility is 198,

and Witch Marge's graveyard compatibility is 160,

surely you'd choose Dead Boy Bart over Witch Marge.

- Would I? - Yeah Because his is much higher.

- Duh! - Oh.

I must say hang on, then.

- Stephen, it's Piers - Oh, hello, Piers.

Oh Yes.

No, I have the, I have the supposed Rembrandt with me.

Yes, he's perfectly safe.

For God's sake I just took him to the British museums.

Yes All right Thank you.

Don't worry, it's fine.

And I'll be.

Yeah All right Yes

I'm in a meeting I have to go.

OK Yeah, no All right.

Yes, yes, yes, yes I know, I know.

OK, goodbye.

I used to have better clients

before.

Maria's father, who is he? Do you know him?

Do you see him?

Not for awhile.

He was a client.

A client? How was that?

He was OK.

Does he Does he know?

What do you think, soup man?

I offer a range of services:

Straight sex, blowjobs, fatherhood.

I don't think so.

God Shoot me.

Well Well, I think you're a wonderful mother.

Thank you.

Can you please pass me the shampoo?

Yep.

The doctor said it would be like this.

If you touch me I bruise, like a peach.

I wish you'd go to hospital.

Never.

Not even for Maria?

Don't you want him to know?

Maybe he's been dreaming of a child.

He has children He doesn't want to know about her, believe me.

Maybe he's rich.

Maybe he still thinks of you.

Yeah Whatever, soup man.

Maybe he's in your book.

What do you think?

I'm compelled to suggest that silence

doth give consent.

You know something?

You have funny, ugly shoes.

Yes, that's very possible

I'm touched, very touched you noticed.

Well, we are neighbours I have a reputation to think of.

Oh, yes, yes, of course Thanks for that.

Well, I've I've sorted through your investments.

Once I've lined up the independent analysts in the various fields

- they should give us. - I am a field They're my companies.

Well, absolutely I think that's what I mean.

We don't want anybody thinking you're still actively involved

- in your projects in your position. - I'm not You are.

What I want's all in here.

Robert Can I call you Robert? I don't,

I don't think you're allowed to want anything to request.

It's not a request.

Yes, Marcus

Geoffrey, Killally gave me a list

Phoenix, VLC, Premiere Living?

The list?

Yes, he said the ring road won't be voted through for a few weeks yet.

Presumably you should have a word with him.

- You've worked with him for years. - We're not nannies, we're guardians.

Leave the list with Murray.

Thank you.

Hi Murray.

That's one way of doing it.

"Still holds you in.

Great affection.

Leads me to be compelled to inform you.

But Gloria has no idea that I am"

I'm going to need a copy of that report, OK?

Yeah, OK.

The energy's all wrong here I could have told him that for free

Marcus is a tree, I'm a tree

I always knew that you were a tree

- I just had no idea about Marcus. - He kept that quiet.

Listen, Orlando's dying to see you Can you come over soon?

Well, I love seeing him any time Bring him over.

- He loves seeing you. - Any time I'm here.

He's a wonderful child.

Now listen, did you take my advice about the vibrate option

on your mobile phone?

For God's sake.

All kinds of shops selling all kinds of things.

Please.

If that department's looking very bleak.

So depressing.

Wasn't it Byron who said that all tragedies are finished with death,

all comedies are ended with marriage?

Anyway, look, everyone's wheel turns.

You can have your 15 minutes and I want to be there,

- cheering you on. - Yeah, and I'm sure.

That will be Carl I've got to go.

Lovely talking to you We should talk more often.

Remember, you're beautiful and I love you Talk to you soon Bye.

Bye.

Orlando.

At least a good time, little shit.

Well, hello What a surprise.

- Yeah, we were passing and. - Yeah.

- We saw your lights on. - Oh, you did?

Yeah.

Right So, it's,

It's Tony Hendrix, and,

- Demetrios. - Demetrios.

Right.

That's unusual, isn't it?

It's Greek My dad's Greek.

Oh, I see, right Now I was thinking, well, of A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Shakespeare.

Oh, OK.

Do you gentlemen need anything? Want to use the loo again?

- Have a drink? - Yeah.

- Yeah, a drink would be all right. - Come in.

- You already have. - Cheers.

- You OK? - How's work?

Oh fine, fine.

- How's Orlando? - Orlando's fine.

Sorry.

Listen, I've decided to go ahead with the boob thingy.

Which means I probably won't be able to go to Scotland.

Right OK.

It doesn't matter to me one way or the other,

you know, about your boobs.

They've always seemed fine to me What's wrong with 'em?

What makes you think I'm doing it for you?

No, clearly not.

Just the thought of someone cutting open your tits

sort of repulses me I don't even bear to think about it.

It's not like that, though

I've always wanted to do it

and I just want to.

People do it all the time.

- Well, people are very fucked up. - You should know.

What's that supposed to mean?

What are you saying?

Come on, tell me.

Oh.

So, were you inspired to paint like angels?

We do a different sort of art Old stuff.

Yes, but it's all new when you do it, isn't it?

- What's this, then? - That's a video camera.

You can talk to your friends anywhere in the world

and you can see each other.

Or, you know, you can just watch yourself.

Cool.

So, what do you gentlemen want out of life? Any idea?

Play for England!?

England And what about you, Demetrios?

He wants to be a black belt in tae kwon do.

He's a blue belt He's really good

I'm OK I'm not there yet.

Oh Well, can you show us any moves?

- Here? - I'd like to see.

- It's a bit small. - Show him.

Oh, come on, Demetrios Don't be a wuss.

What is it, courtesy, integrity.

Courtesy, integrity, perseverance,

self-control, indomitable spirit.

Sounds wonderful Let's see it.

Well, I'm impressed.

- Fuckin' bopped him on the head! - Fucking nutter!

Shut up! Shut up!

- Come on, let's get the computer! - Nutter!

Move the fuck out of the way, man!

Let's go, go! Go, man!

- Fucking go, man! - Move!

We have no idea why he'd have a recording like this.

You were the last person to speak to him.

You'll have to make the statement.

Sure Of course.

He was one of my oldest friends.

What were these three boys doing in his flat late at night anyway?

We can't say, but we're taking it very seriously.

Of course you're taking it seriously How else are you going to take it?

It means we won't be allowing Orlando to spend hours on end

with his godfather

if he ever makes it out of the bloody coma.

Hello?

Gloria?

Hello?

- Gloria? - Mama.

- Gloria, are you in there? - Mama!

Hello?

Gloria, darling Come on, it's Colin the soup man.

The man's here.

Fucking stupid Fuckin'

Está aquí.

Stupid fuck.

- Do we have a name? - Are you a relation?

No, no relation I'm a social worker.

Do you have the paperwork you mentioned? Letters from her GP.

No, not here.

Her chemotherapy should have started months ago

- I know. - Does she have family?

No, not that I know of, no.

Try and get that one?

That was a little off.

OK, come on, come on.

You all right?

Marcus.

Here you go.

Are you really all right?

If you say fine again, I'm leaving.

Is it lona? What is it?

You know what? I am fine.

I'm fine, but

unlike my son's godfather, who's been beaten practically half to death

and my wife, who.

- Sorry my chat stinks. - No, it's OK It's OK.

Plus my fuckin' boss and his creepy fucking clients.

"Phoenix, VLC, Premiere Living.

They're my companies.

Tell Wharton the ring road won't be voted through for a few weeks"

I'm his lawyer, not his fucking bag man.

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

Right.

Look, you're not gonna go to jail We all know what lawyers get up to.

You'd be ten to a cell already if anyone gave a shit.

It's a blind trust.

He's a minister He gave me a fucking list of shares to buy.

Now I know it is wrong.

Fuckin' hell Who?

It's a joke, right? It's the ultimate, ultimate no-no.

Shaping the nation's destiny while lining your own pockets.

Sorry, we'll have to kill you now.

- I'm gonna walk home. - I'll drive you home.

No, it's OK I'm gonna I better go home.

No, come on, mate

Marcus It's all right.

- No, it's all right. - I'll take you home.

Leave it, all right?

- I'll be fine, OK? - All right.

Just, take care.

- I'll be fine. - All right.

I made him leave his car, so at least he won't kill himself.

- Are you sure he's OK? - Honestly he'll cool off a bit

and make his own way home eventually I'm sorry.

Oh, it's a nightmare I hate it when he drinks like this.

It's all that Killally stuff he's been doing.

Are you sure he's all right, then?

Yeah He'll be fine Just leave the aspirin out.

You're a star It's great to have you around again.

- Well, thanks Good night - Good night.

Hi, Bushey, it's Trent Sorry to call so late, but it's.

Trust me This one could have everything I'm gonna make some calls.

Ring me I'll be up.

Fat Boy! Crawl out your coffin and pick up the phone.

- Love you, champ. - OK.

There will be some swelling and bruising but pain is usually minimal

and can be controlled with medication.

We can fit you in on the 19th,

and you'll be out the following day

I think you made a choice you'll be very happy with.

OK, if you can make this stand up, I'll take you off your other stories.

- But keep shtoom I want a splash. - All right, but this is mine

I'll bring it in, but you have to let me run with it.

- Sure I'll talk to Peter OK? - All right?

I want backup I don't want Accounts busting my nuts

- about lunches and cab fares. - Sure Yeah.

Break the bank, or us.

You went with Gloria to the hospital.

Absolutely She was out cold.

And then you took her home again?

Yep.

They want her admitted immediately.

There's no one to look after the child,

which means she'll have to go into care

I'll get down there as soon as I can.

Look, I'm gonna have to take you off this now.

It's been a hard one for all of us.

These companies that build houses but don't buy one.

They got court cases up to their ears.

Crappy work, shitty contracts, still selling 40 a week.

Forty times half a million, that's a good business.

No shit, Sherlock.

What exactly are we looking for here?

Anything Shareholders, anomalies.

What's with this ring road he mentioned? Why is that such a big deal?

Ring roads mean commute heaven Lots of yuppies all need houses

I'll keep going through this information Zeroes and ones.

Just gotta look, could take forever, probably will.

Keep going, Fat Boy You know where to find me, on my mobile.

Yeah No shit, Sherlock.

Hello?

Mrs Ramirez, open up, please It's Social Services.

Hello?

- Did you make a reservation? - Yeah, yeah

Astaire Fred, Ginger, and Maria

I need a deposit Cash Hundred and fifty quid for the first week.

You're gonna be OK?

I'll, call back later with some food and.

Hello?

It's nice to hear you, too.

Yes.

That can happen.

Thank you

? Everybody to share rainbow food, rainbow beans

? These are the most painful words you'll ever hear.

Orlando, darling

Orlando, come here a minute I need to talk to you.

Come on Sit still for a minute

I need to talk to you, OK?

Orlando Please, just sit still for two minutes

I have to talk to you Sit down, come on.

Now listen to me

I've got something very important to ask you,

and I need you to be really, really honest, all right?

OK

Mummy and Daddy love you so much.

It's Stephen.

Even if some things are really hard to say.

- Is he going to die? - No, no, no Of course he isn't.

Of course not.

But I do need to ask you something.

Has he ever touched you?

Yes Yes, he's touched me.

Right.

Have you ever.

Have you ever taken your clothes off with him?

Yes.

Not all of them, though.

He's never touched you on your willy, has he?

- Mum! What? - I'm sorry, darling.

You're nuts! You've gone bloody nuts!

- I'm so sorry, darling. - You've gone crazy, Mum

- I'm so sorry. - Crazy, Mum.

- Fat Boy? - Banbury, Ealing, Maidstone.

All want ring roads All waiting for the green light from Westminster.

Killally's companies build crappy houses Go figure.

No fuckin' shit?

- Hi, it's Trent Am I on speakerphone? - Yes.

- Is Bushey there? - I'm with her now,

and our illustrious editor.

Look, you're a lawyer, a blind trust.

How exactly do they work?

- From whose point of view? - You know, our friend the minister

I mean, how blind does it actually have to be?

Bad boy.

As blind as blind justice, my dear.

A pillar of the realm swinging both ways We could all retire early.

Right Thanks, I gotta go.

I like the sound of this.

This is all coming from some friend Is it solid?

Not sure I'll ride him.

Not for the first time I'm sure.

All we need's a first draft I can do the rest.

Can he get something on tape, anything?

Sure Why stab a friend in the back when you can stab him in the front?

Darling.

Little fish.

Let me look at you.

How long has it been?

A long time.

Daddy likes his honey Right?

Yes.

Daddy likes it.

You know, you know.

Yeah, yeah, so, if they OK the ring road,

then the houses that they build

become the hottest properties south of Oxford till they fall down

because they're made from spit and bog paper.

Yeah, I've gotta go.

- Hello Trent. - Hi, mate.

Hey, Marcus Hi.

Yeah, thanks for putting up with all my drink-sodden tales

of self-pity the other night Can we forget it ever happened?

- It's kind of boring anyway. - No, it's not boring at all.

You were in a really bad way How are you? How's lona?

- She's getting her boobs done. - No

I'll kill the man that lays a finger on 'em.

And she blew me out We were going to Scotland deerstalking.

Listen, why don't you come along?

- Yeah. - Come on, city boy, all paid for.

Killing stuff, Arctic temperatures, haggis.

It's very tempting but it's not me, mate.

The voice of the countryside

I bet you can't even tell a stag from a cow.

No, I'm sure it's amazing I actually can't I'm sort of

stressed at the moment Things are crazy right now.

Sure All right, well, I'll see you in another five years, then.

Oh, now, fuck off Look, we can hook up for a drink after work,

get bladdered and we can stick pins in a wax doll of Killally.

How is all that anyway?

You look so terribly thin, my darling.

An old man worries about these things.

Women like to be thin.

Yes, but you don't look well.

Why don't you see a doctor, my darling? Won't you, please?

You can say anything to me, you know.

I don't want you to have any secrets.

What's that?

She's beautiful.

Her father.

Her father was a good man.

Keep it.

There's something for you over there on the side.

Call me if you need, you know.

Chiquitita.

You know how much I love you.

Mummy loves you so much.

Even Even when she's not here.

Mummy loves you forever.

I spoke to my source, he confirmed everything.

This is not a confession but he says what we need

I'm gagging for it, hot shot Just press send.

All right Well, just have a look.

Our lawyer here wants you to stick with him until the story breaks, OK?

We don't want him changing his mind or killing himself,

or worse still, selling the story somewhere else.

Yeah Right.

Come on, Marcus, you've got to admit this wall is a wall of carnage.

You'll love tomorrow, I swear.

The land will power the soul.

And it's a big thing, killing one of these guys.

You know, it might sound strange, but it's.

You know, it'll be the biggest thing in your life in a way.

You're actually serious?

Yeah You know what they say about the deepest of all of man's secrets,

deeper than any role he might play to the outside world

is his passion for killing It's an imperative.

When you hunt the killing's not just about the food, prize, or need to do it.

It's about the ritual.

- It's deep. - Steady on.

I'm just a bit of a wuss about blood.

No, you're not, you're just ignorant about it

I'll give you the eco version, OK? Make you feel better.

You kill the weakest stag, the one that won't make it through winter.

Keeps the herd strong, keeps them surviving.

You have to do it.

I don't know

I don't know, but I I do know

that I couldn't kill an animal like that.

Clean kill.

Straight through the heart.

I don't believe in much.

Whatever I do, I believe it when I'm here.

Funny.

I want to tell Wharton I'm not gonna manage his fucking blind trust anymore

I don't care if he doesn't want me as a partner

I don't care if they don't want me at all.

The thing about you is

is that you're just one of those people everyone loves.

You've got that sort of star attraction thing

that some people are just born with.

Light shining from your brown eye.

- I wish you'd go to hospital. - No

I'm gonna have to insist.

No No.

No.

Never.

Come on What are you doing? Mobiles never work out here

I had two bars a minute ago.

Christ's sake, you can take the girl out of the city.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can you hear me? Good.

All right, I need to make a couple of changes to the Killally story.

OK? Just take out a couple of paras.

I know, but I want to get it right

I'm with my Aylesbury guy and I really don't think he's involved.

So we have to take his stuff out, OK?

It's very important.

For Christ's sake, get Bushey to call me back and.

- Can you hear me? - Sure, Trent.

Don't fuck it up.

Prat.

Now switch in the middle.

Christ! Christ!

Fuck us off again, it's not the stag we'll be shooting.

Yeah I'm sorry.

Mate, come on.

- Are you OK? - Yeah.

I, I need to tell you something, mate.

Now? Could it fucking wait? Come on.

Come on, let's go Let's go.

He's yours Your first.

I can't.

- No I just can't. - Yes, you can.

You can Take him, go on, come on Go on, now he's still Go on.

You've got him before he moves You'll miss him, you'll miss him.

- Go on, hurry Don't want him to move. - All right, OK.

On the front leg, two inches.

He's wounded Shoot again.

Here, give it here, give it here.

Good Good You got him.

Sorry.

Trent, come here Come here.

It's a tradition.

Your first kill.

Wharton.

Well, that's a rumour.

What's in a rumour, Hugo?

Yeah, thanks.

I'll be an hour, tops.

- She won't wake? - Not a problem.

Nice.

What up, mate?

Really, it's OK It was only wounded for a couple of seconds You heard Ronny.

No.

No, it's not fine.

Actually I've, ordered a taxi.

It's gonna be here any minute.

Why?

'Cause.

I just fucked your life.

You know, everything I've taken down everything you told me

and

sold it.

I've destroyed your charmed life

in one shot

beyond your shittiest possible imagining.

What are you talking about?

It's big It's big.

You and Wharton and the shares.

And, everything I could find

Jesus, what are you telling me, Trent? What are you fucking telling me?

- I tried to get you out of it. - You.

And?

What have you done?

- What have you done? - Sorry.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

- Hello! - It's all right, darling I got it.

Hello?

How in God's name?

He knew before he came up He must have known.

Come home, Marcus.

Come down here with us.

Dad, Dad! You know these people Call them.

You can do it Please!

You can call them You can stop them.

File an injunction or something.

Dad? You can do it.

Give me half an hour and I'll call you back, all right?

Just hold on.

My God.

Dad?

It's too difficult and it's too late I can't do it

Christ, Dad, you're a judge.

Oh, I can make a fuss.

But when they ask me if it's true I have to say yes.

You said so yourself.

Look.

If I could make it my face instead of yours,

you know that I would.

But we can't lie.

Can't we? Why not?

You lie.

We all lie.

We can't lie here.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Morning, Mrs Aylesbury If I can get you to pop down these.

Just a little pre-med I'll be back in a tick

over the scandal surrounding Geo Wharton and Marcus Aylesbury

of Wendell Wharton Blunt, one of the city's most prestigious law firms.

The sensational revelations that Lord Killally and his solicitors

abused a blind trust have produced calls for an inquiry

at the highest level.

Killally used his position as minister of housing and planning

to force through a controversial transport bill.

When the go-ahead for the Banbury ring road was announced,

the share price of Phoenix PLC, a property company owned by Killally,

rose 30 percent

senior partner of the firm that bears his name,

has represented the interests of Lord Killally since 1994,

and that's the year Killally first made donations to the Labour Party.

Special report following headlines.

The tabloid paper that printed the allegations

claims to have a confession from one of the lawyers involved on tape.

His father, Edward Aylesbury, a high court judge,

has been connected with call girls.

Photographs of a prostitute leaving his flat in central London.

Marcus Aylesbury, recently made partner,

is the alleged point of contact with Lord Killally.

As a partner he stood to profit tens of thousands

from the share purchases.

Marcus Aylesbury and the other partners at Wendell Wharton Blunt

face heavy jail sentences.

- Where is he? - Just ran off

Orlando!

Come on.

You didn't, did you?

No No, I didn't.

Hello?

I tried to stay awake with her, but I.

I felt she didn't need me then.

For the last bit, anyway.

I, I stayed with Maria,

took care of the arrangements.

The home is,

The home is,

- Do you have children? - No.

I've thought about trying for custody, but I...

I'd...

I'd never get it.

Do you have any idea what that would mean?

Look,

I shan't bully you again.

No one need ever know I was here.

Chambers never did get around to shifting it.

My rock.

- Who was that chap? - Journalist.

"Dear Mr Griffin,"

I have been instructed to establish a trust fund

for Maria Garcia Ramirez de Arroyo.

Sir Edward Aylesbury wishes to appoint y...

you... as a trustee of the fund.

If this is agreeable to you, would you be kind enough

to make an appointment at your earliest convenience?

"Yours sincerely, DA Frischman".

Darling boy.

You know what I think I'll do?

What do you think you'll do?

I'll read War and Peace again.

Why don't you?

Yes.

I think I will