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World of Warcraft - Outland PVP (EU) - Torporr (name) 2 00:01:50,803 --> 00:01:52,759 Well, I mean... 3 00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:55,732 ...isn't everything autobiographical? 4 00:01:56,016 --> 00:02:00,294 I mean, we all see the world through our own tiny keyhole, right? 5 00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:02,519 I mean, I always think of Thomas Wolfe. 6 00:02:02,815 --> 00:02:05,932 Have you ever seen that little one-page "Note to Reader"... 7 00:02:06,235 --> 00:02:08,271 ...in the front of Look Homeward, Angel? 8 00:02:09,155 --> 00:02:13,865 Anyway, he says that we are the sum of all the moments of our lives... 9 00:02:14,243 --> 00:02:17,872 ...and anybody who sits down to write will use the clay of their own life... 10 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:19,684 ...that you can't avoid that. 11 00:02:19,915 --> 00:02:24,625 So when I look at my own life, I have to admit, right, that I... 12 00:02:25,129 --> 00:02:29,441 I've never been around a bunch of guns or violence, you know, not really. 13 00:02:29,842 --> 00:02:33,596 No political intrigue or a helicopter crash, right? 14 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:38,301 But my life, from my own point of view, has been full of drama, right? 15 00:02:39,101 --> 00:02:41,456 And so I thought, if I could write a book... 16 00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:46,002 ...that could capture what it's like to really meet somebody... 17 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,960 One of the most exciting things that's happened to me... 18 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,431 ...is to meet somebody, make that connection. 19 00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:55,618 And if I could make that valuable, you know, to capture that... 20 00:02:56,452 --> 00:02:59,603 ...that would be the attempt, or... 21 00:03:00,289 --> 00:03:02,678 Did I answer your question? 22 00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,684 I'll try to be more specific. 23 00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,847 Was there ever a French young woman on a train you met... 24 00:03:09,131 --> 00:03:11,361 ...and spent an evening with? 25 00:03:15,346 --> 00:03:18,144 See, to me, that... I mean... 26 00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:21,742 ...that's not important, you know? - So that's a yes? 27 00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:26,645 All right, since I'm in France and this is the last stop of my book tour, yes. 28 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,360 Thank you. 29 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,886 Mr. Wallace, the book ends on an ambiguous note. 30 00:03:33,197 --> 00:03:34,471 We don't know. 31 00:03:34,740 --> 00:03:37,208 Do you think they get back together in six months... 32 00:03:37,576 --> 00:03:40,807 ...like they promise each other? 33 00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:43,411 Like they promised? 34 00:03:45,084 --> 00:03:47,678 I think how you answer that, you know, is... 35 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,780 It's a good test, right, if you're a romantic or a cynic. 36 00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:55,966 Right? I mean, you think they get back together, right? 37 00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:57,782 - You don't, for sure. - No. 38 00:03:58,013 --> 00:03:59,924 And you hope they do, but you're not sure. 39 00:04:00,224 --> 00:04:03,739 - That's why you're asking the question. - Do you think they get back together? 40 00:04:04,103 --> 00:04:06,139 I mean, did you in real life? 41 00:04:07,690 --> 00:04:09,442 Did I in real...? 42 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:12,368 Look, in the words of my grandfather, okay: 43 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:15,645 "To answer that would take the piss out of the whole thing. " 44 00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:20,013 We just have the time for one last question. 45 00:04:20,369 --> 00:04:22,007 What is your next book? 46 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,054 I don't know, man. I don't know. 47 00:04:27,418 --> 00:04:30,728 I've been... I've been thinking about this... 48 00:04:31,046 --> 00:04:33,640 Well, I always kind of wanted to write a book... 49 00:04:33,924 --> 00:04:37,439 ...that all took place within the space of a pop song. 50 00:04:37,803 --> 00:04:40,795 Like three or four minutes long, the whole thing. 51 00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:44,496 The story, the idea, is that there's this guy, right... 52 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:47,446 ...and he's totally depressed. 53 00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:51,764 His great dream was to be a lover, an adventurer, you know... 54 00:04:52,109 --> 00:04:54,748 ...riding motorcycles through South America. 55 00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:57,709 And instead he's sitting at a marble table eating lobster. 56 00:04:57,990 --> 00:05:00,948 He's got a good job and a beautiful wife, right, but that... 57 00:05:01,243 --> 00:05:04,474 Everything that he needs. But that doesn't matter... 58 00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:07,663 ...because what he wants is to fight for meaning. 59 00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:10,192 You know? Happiness is in the doing, right? 60 00:05:10,503 --> 00:05:12,698 Not in the getting what you want. 61 00:05:13,005 --> 00:05:16,361 So he's sitting there, and just that second... 62 00:05:16,675 --> 00:05:20,748 ...his little 5-year-old daughter hops up on the table. 63 00:05:21,096 --> 00:05:24,247 And he knows that she should get down, because she could get hurt. 64 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:29,116 But she's dancing to this pop song in a summer dress. 65 00:05:29,939 --> 00:05:31,850 And he looks down... 66 00:05:32,149 --> 00:05:34,538 ...and all of a sudden, he's 6. 67 00:05:35,486 --> 00:05:40,719 And his high-school sweetheart is dropping him off at home. 68 00:05:41,116 --> 00:05:44,552 And they just lost their virginity, and she loves him... 69 00:05:44,870 --> 00:05:48,658 ...and the same song is playing on the car radio. 70 00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:51,916 And she climbs up and starts dancing on the roof of the car. 71 00:05:52,253 --> 00:05:53,732 And now he's worried about her. 72 00:05:53,963 --> 00:05:58,081 And she's beautiful, with a facial expression just like his daughter's. 73 00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,662 In fact, maybe that's why he even likes her. 74 00:06:00,970 --> 00:06:03,768 You see, he knows he's not remembering this dance... 75 00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:07,647 ...he's there. He's there, in both moments, simultaneously. 76 00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:11,294 And just for an instant, all his life is just folding in on itself. 77 00:06:11,647 --> 00:06:14,241 And it's obvious to him that time is a lie. 78 00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:19,007 That it's all happening all the time... 79 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,716 ...and inside every moment is another moment... 80 00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:24,869 ...all happening simultaneously. 81 00:06:25,161 --> 00:06:28,119 Anyway, that's kind of the idea. Anyway. 82 00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:31,857 Our author has to be going to the airport soon... 83 00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:34,966 ...so thank you all very much for coming over this afternoon. 84 00:06:35,296 --> 00:06:38,413 And a special thanks to Mr. Wallace for being with us. 85 00:06:38,757 --> 00:06:40,110 Thank you. Thank you. 86 00:06:40,342 --> 00:06:42,936 We hope to see you here again with your next book. 87 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:52,874 Thank you all. How much longer before I have to go to the airport? 88 00:06:53,189 --> 00:06:54,747 Oh, you should leave at 7:30... 89 00:06:55,065 --> 00:06:57,499 - Seven-thirty at the very latest. - Okay. 90 00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:05,687 - Hi. - Hello. 91 00:07:08,454 --> 00:07:11,048 - How are you? - Good, and you? 92 00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:15,631 I'm good, yeah, I'm great. I'm... 93 00:07:16,545 --> 00:07:18,775 Do you wanna, maybe, get a cup of coffee? 94 00:07:19,632 --> 00:07:21,987 Didn't he just say you have a plane to catch? 95 00:07:23,135 --> 00:07:25,933 Yeah. But, I mean, I have a little time. 96 00:07:26,430 --> 00:07:29,581 - Okay. - Yeah? All right, well, let me... 97 00:07:29,934 --> 00:07:31,925 I'll meet you outside. Okay. 98 00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:36,046 Excuse me. I'm just gonna go get a cup of coffee. 99 00:07:36,357 --> 00:07:38,507 - I'll be back at 7: 5. - Did you sign all these? 100 00:07:38,776 --> 00:07:41,290 - Yeah, I sure did. - Get your driver Philippe's card... 101 00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:44,001 ...so you can call his cell if you're running late. 102 00:07:44,323 --> 00:07:46,791 We'll put your bags in the car so you're not late. 103 00:07:47,117 --> 00:07:49,551 - All right, thanks for everything. - Thank you. 104 00:07:51,997 --> 00:07:53,874 Which one's Philippe? 105 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:15,089 - I can't believe you're here. - I live here in Paris. 106 00:08:16,647 --> 00:08:19,844 Are you sure you don't have to stay? You're not supposed to talk more? 107 00:08:20,192 --> 00:08:22,148 They're sick of me. I spent the night here. 108 00:08:22,444 --> 00:08:25,641 - You did? - Yeah, they got a loft upstairs. 109 00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,432 - How are you? This is so weird. - I'm fine. 110 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:32,291 - It's good to see you. - It's good to see you. 111 00:08:34,832 --> 00:08:37,141 - So you want to go to a caf�? - Yeah. 112 00:08:37,459 --> 00:08:39,734 Okay. There's one a little further that I like. 113 00:08:40,004 --> 00:08:43,713 I thought I was gonna totally lose it in there when I first saw you. 114 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,763 How did you know I was gonna be here? 115 00:08:46,051 --> 00:08:50,249 It's my favorite bookstore in Paris. You can sit down for hours and read. 116 00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:52,509 I love it. There's fleas, but, you know... 117 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:55,041 I know. I think a cat slept on my head last night. 118 00:08:55,311 --> 00:08:57,825 I saw your picture on the calendar about a month ago... 119 00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,902 ...and that you were going to be here. 120 00:09:00,399 --> 00:09:03,197 It's funny, because I read an article on your book... 121 00:09:03,486 --> 00:09:07,320 ...and it sounded vaguely familiar. - Vaguely? Yeah. 122 00:09:07,865 --> 00:09:11,540 But I didn't put it all together until I saw your photo. So... 123 00:09:11,869 --> 00:09:13,939 Did you have a chance to read it? 124 00:09:14,246 --> 00:09:15,599 Yes, I... 125 00:09:15,831 --> 00:09:18,186 I was really, really surprised, as you can imagine. 126 00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:21,015 I mean, I had to read it twice, actually. 127 00:09:21,337 --> 00:09:23,293 - Yeah? - Yeah. 128 00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:27,312 No, I liked it. It's very romantic. 129 00:09:27,593 --> 00:09:30,153 I usually don't like that, but it's really well-written. 130 00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:33,349 - It's well-written. Congratulations. - All right. Thank you. 131 00:09:33,891 --> 00:09:35,688 - Wait. - What? 132 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:39,764 Before we go anywhere, I have to ask you... 133 00:09:40,356 --> 00:09:41,869 Sure. What? 134 00:09:42,107 --> 00:09:44,985 Did you show up in Vienna that December? 135 00:09:46,946 --> 00:09:51,144 - Did you? - No, I couldn't. But did you? 136 00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:54,723 - I need to know. It's important to me. - Why, if you didn't? 137 00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,157 Well, did you? 138 00:09:57,414 --> 00:09:58,847 No. 139 00:10:00,543 --> 00:10:01,976 Thank God you didn't. 140 00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,971 - Oh, my God. - Thank God you didn't. 141 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:07,611 Thank God I didn't and you didn't. If one of us had showed up alone... 142 00:10:07,925 --> 00:10:10,234 ...that would have sucked. - I was so concerned. 143 00:10:10,511 --> 00:10:14,220 I felt horrible about not being there, but I couldn't. My grandma died... 144 00:10:14,598 --> 00:10:16,748 ...and she was buried that day, December 6th. 145 00:10:17,059 --> 00:10:19,527 - The one in Budapest? - Yes. You remember that? 146 00:10:19,854 --> 00:10:22,527 - I remember everything. - Of course, it was in your book. 147 00:10:22,815 --> 00:10:25,966 But anyway, I was about to fly to Vienna, you know... 148 00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:30,197 ...and we heard the news about her, and of course I had to go to the funeral. 149 00:10:30,531 --> 00:10:32,203 Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that. 150 00:10:32,449 --> 00:10:36,044 I know. But you weren't there anyway. 151 00:10:36,412 --> 00:10:38,801 Wait. Why weren't you there? 152 00:10:39,123 --> 00:10:42,320 I would have been there if I could have. I made plans... 153 00:10:42,668 --> 00:10:44,784 You better have a good reason. 154 00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:46,361 What? 155 00:10:48,507 --> 00:10:49,906 Oh, no. 156 00:10:50,634 --> 00:10:52,590 No, you were there, weren't you? 157 00:10:52,887 --> 00:10:55,447 Oh, no, that's terrible! 158 00:10:55,764 --> 00:10:57,402 I'm laughing, but I don't mean it. 159 00:10:57,641 --> 00:10:59,438 Did you hate me? You must've hated me. 160 00:10:59,685 --> 00:11:01,835 - Have you been hating me all this time? - No. 161 00:11:02,104 --> 00:11:03,378 - Yes, you have. - No. 162 00:11:03,647 --> 00:11:05,399 But you can't hate me now, right? 163 00:11:05,691 --> 00:11:08,683 - I mean, my grandma... - I don't hate you. It's no big deal. 164 00:11:09,028 --> 00:11:11,462 I flew all the way over there, you blew the thing off. 165 00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:14,738 My life's been a big nosedive since, but it's not a problem. 166 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,794 - No, I'm kidding. - Don't say that. I can't believe it. 167 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,475 You must have been so angry with me. I'm so sorry. 168 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,182 I wanted to be there, more than anything in the world. 169 00:11:23,459 --> 00:11:26,098 - Honestly, I swear... - You can't be angry, my grandmother... 170 00:11:26,378 --> 00:11:29,893 I know. I honestly thought that something like that might have happened. 171 00:11:30,216 --> 00:11:32,207 I was definitely bummed, but... 172 00:11:32,468 --> 00:11:36,017 Mostly I was mad we hadn't exchanged any phone numbers or any information. 173 00:11:36,347 --> 00:11:38,258 That was so stupid. No way to get in touch. 174 00:11:38,516 --> 00:11:40,746 - Nothing to go on. - I didn't know your last name. 175 00:11:41,018 --> 00:11:44,090 Remember, we were both afraid if we started writing and calling... 176 00:11:44,396 --> 00:11:47,786 ...that it would slowly fade out. - It definitely wasn't a slow fade. 177 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,302 No, it sure wasn't. 178 00:11:49,527 --> 00:11:51,279 We wanted to pick up where we left off. 179 00:11:51,529 --> 00:11:54,760 Which would have been fine if it had worked. Oh, well. 180 00:11:56,242 --> 00:11:57,721 So... 181 00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:01,441 - How long were you in Vienna, then? - Just a couple days. 182 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,193 Did you meet another girl? 183 00:12:05,501 --> 00:12:07,969 Yeah, her name was Gretchen and she was amazing. 184 00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:10,889 The book's really a composite of the two of you. 185 00:12:11,215 --> 00:12:14,844 No, I'm kidding. You wouldn't believe... I even went back to the train station. 186 00:12:15,219 --> 00:12:19,132 I put up signs of my number in the hotel in case you'd been delayed. 187 00:12:19,473 --> 00:12:21,987 - I was a total dork. - Let's go this way. Did you get any calls? 188 00:12:22,476 --> 00:12:25,434 Just a couple hookers looking for a gig. 189 00:12:25,771 --> 00:12:28,205 No, it was awful, I mean, what do you want me to say? 190 00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:29,835 It's so sad. I'm so sorry. 191 00:12:30,109 --> 00:12:33,067 I walked around for a couple days. Eventually, I flew home. 192 00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:35,554 I owed my dad 2000 bucks... 193 00:12:35,865 --> 00:12:37,776 ...who had warned me about French chicks. 194 00:12:38,075 --> 00:12:39,872 What did he tell you about French women? 195 00:12:40,161 --> 00:12:42,152 Nothing. He's never met any French women. 196 00:12:42,454 --> 00:12:44,604 He's never been east of the Mississippi. 197 00:12:44,874 --> 00:12:48,947 Why didn't you put, "Six months later, the French bitch didn't show up"? 198 00:12:49,295 --> 00:12:50,808 No, but I did, I did. 199 00:12:51,088 --> 00:12:53,886 - You did? - Yeah. No. I made it more hopeful. 200 00:12:54,216 --> 00:12:56,650 I wrote this fictional version where you do show up. 201 00:12:56,969 --> 00:12:59,324 - Oh, what happens? - Well... 202 00:13:00,723 --> 00:13:02,281 What? 203 00:13:02,766 --> 00:13:05,644 We make love for about 0 days straight, that's one part of it. 204 00:13:05,936 --> 00:13:08,609 - Interesting. So the French slut, right? - Yeah, exactly. 205 00:13:08,939 --> 00:13:11,328 It's just then they get to know each other better... 206 00:13:11,609 --> 00:13:13,520 ...and realize they don't get along at all. 207 00:13:13,819 --> 00:13:16,970 - I like that. It's more real. - My editor didn't think that way. 208 00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:19,317 Everyone wants to believe in love. It sells. 209 00:13:19,575 --> 00:13:21,486 Yeah, exactly, so... 210 00:13:22,286 --> 00:13:24,754 So things are going well for you, right? I mean... 211 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,152 - Your book is a bestseller in the U. S. - It's a tiny bestseller. 212 00:13:28,501 --> 00:13:30,412 - Oh, come on. - All right. Officially, yes. 213 00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:33,703 Most people haven't read Moby Dick. Why should they read my book? 214 00:13:34,006 --> 00:13:36,156 I haven't read Moby Dick and I liked your book. 215 00:13:36,425 --> 00:13:38,620 - Thanks. - Even though... 216 00:13:38,928 --> 00:13:41,567 ...I thought you idealized the night of it. 217 00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,527 Come on, it's fiction, right? 218 00:13:43,766 --> 00:13:45,358 - I'm supposed to... - I know, I know. 219 00:13:45,643 --> 00:13:48,715 I know. I thought there were times where you made me... 220 00:13:49,063 --> 00:13:53,261 Well, I mean, her, right? No, me. Okay, whatever. 221 00:13:53,609 --> 00:13:56,567 - A little bit neurotic. - You are a bit like that, aren't you? 222 00:13:56,904 --> 00:14:00,021 - You think I'm neurotic? - No, no, no. Come on, I'm kidding. 223 00:14:00,324 --> 00:14:02,121 Where did I do that? I didn't do that. 224 00:14:02,368 --> 00:14:04,962 Oh, maybe it's just me, you know... 225 00:14:05,246 --> 00:14:08,158 Reading something, knowing the character is based on you... 226 00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:11,059 ...it's both flattering and disturbing at the same time. 227 00:14:11,377 --> 00:14:12,810 How is it disturbing? 228 00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:17,126 I don't know. Just being part of someone else's memory. 229 00:14:17,466 --> 00:14:19,980 Seeing myself through your eyes. 230 00:14:20,261 --> 00:14:22,570 How long did it take you to write it? 231 00:14:23,639 --> 00:14:25,357 Three or four years, on and off. 232 00:14:25,641 --> 00:14:28,678 Wow, that's a really long time to be writing about one night. 233 00:14:29,019 --> 00:14:31,579 Yeah, I know. Tell me about it. 234 00:14:31,981 --> 00:14:34,336 I always assumed you had forgotten me. 235 00:14:34,859 --> 00:14:37,498 No, I had a pretty clear picture of you in my mind. 236 00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:40,129 - I have to tell you something. I just... - What? 237 00:14:40,406 --> 00:14:44,035 I've wanted to talk to you for so long that now... It's just surreal, you know? 238 00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:46,082 I feel like everything should be... 239 00:14:46,328 --> 00:14:48,637 How long do we have? Twenty minutes and 30 seconds? 240 00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,151 We got more than that. I wanna know about you. 241 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,972 Tell me, what are you doing? What are you up to? 242 00:14:54,295 --> 00:14:58,732 Where to start? I work for Green Cross. It's an environmental organization. 243 00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:00,407 What are they all about? 244 00:15:00,676 --> 00:15:03,144 We basically work on different environment issues... 245 00:15:03,429 --> 00:15:05,943 ...from clean water to disarmament of chemical weapons. 246 00:15:06,223 --> 00:15:08,578 International laws that deal with the environment. 247 00:15:08,851 --> 00:15:11,126 - What do you do for them? - We're going this way. 248 00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:12,919 Different things. 249 00:15:13,189 --> 00:15:16,898 Like, last year I was in India for a while, working on a water-treatment plant. 250 00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:21,057 Well, the cotton industry there is a major source of pollution, so... 251 00:15:21,363 --> 00:15:24,161 I mean, it sounds like you're actually doing something. 252 00:15:24,492 --> 00:15:27,802 Most people, myself included, just sit around and bitch. 253 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:32,591 You know, how America's consuming all the world's resources, SUVs suck... 254 00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:34,277 ...global warming is real... 255 00:15:34,543 --> 00:15:37,774 I'm relieved to hear you're not one of those "freedom fries" Americans. 256 00:15:38,088 --> 00:15:40,397 Hey, you know... But how'd you get into that? 257 00:15:40,674 --> 00:15:43,825 I came out of political science, hoping to work for the government. 258 00:15:44,178 --> 00:15:46,772 - And I did for a little while. Terrible. - Not good? 259 00:15:47,097 --> 00:15:50,567 Yeah, no. Anyway, I got really tired... Let's go this way. 260 00:15:50,935 --> 00:15:53,130 Having this endless conversation with friends... 261 00:15:53,395 --> 00:15:55,545 ...about how the world was falling to pieces. 262 00:15:55,856 --> 00:15:58,165 So I decided what I really wanted to do was... 263 00:15:58,484 --> 00:16:01,681 ...to find things that could be fixed and try to fix them, you know? 264 00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:05,624 You know, I always thought you'd be doing something cool like that. I did. 265 00:16:05,991 --> 00:16:10,701 Thanks. I just feel really, really lucky to be doing a job I like, you know? 266 00:16:11,121 --> 00:16:12,520 Yeah. 267 00:16:12,748 --> 00:16:17,299 I actually alternate in between thinking everything is irrevocably screwed up... 268 00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:19,865 ...and things might be getting better in ways. 269 00:16:20,172 --> 00:16:22,481 Better? How could you possibly say that? 270 00:16:22,758 --> 00:16:24,476 Well, I just mean, you know, like... 271 00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:28,233 I know it sounds weird, but there are things to be optimistic about. 272 00:16:28,597 --> 00:16:33,113 Okay... I know your book is selling, which is great, I'm very happy for you. 273 00:16:33,519 --> 00:16:36,636 But let me break the news to you: The world is a mess right now. 274 00:16:36,981 --> 00:16:39,370 From a Western view, things are getting a bit better. 275 00:16:39,692 --> 00:16:43,128 We're moving industry to developing nations where we can get cheap labor... 276 00:16:43,487 --> 00:16:46,604 ...free of any environmental laws. The weapon industry is booming. 277 00:16:46,907 --> 00:16:49,740 Five million people die a year from preventable water disease. 278 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:52,955 How is the world getting better? I'm not angry, I'm not angry. 279 00:16:53,289 --> 00:16:55,280 But come on, I want to know. I'm interested. 280 00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:58,939 I realize that there are a lot of serious problems in the world. 281 00:16:59,295 --> 00:17:01,445 - Okay. Thank you. - I mean, I don't even have... 282 00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:04,986 ...one publisher in the Asian market. - Okay. All right. 283 00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:08,634 - Say stop. - What? Stop. 284 00:17:08,929 --> 00:17:12,683 Look, all I'm saying is there's more awareness. People are gonna fight back. 285 00:17:13,017 --> 00:17:15,895 The world might be getting better because people like you... 286 00:17:16,187 --> 00:17:17,745 ...are educated and speaking out. 287 00:17:18,272 --> 00:17:21,469 Even the very notion of conservation, environmental issues... 288 00:17:21,817 --> 00:17:24,092 ...weren't in the vocabulary till fairly recently. 289 00:17:24,361 --> 00:17:28,274 And they're becoming the norm and eventually might be what's expected. 290 00:17:28,657 --> 00:17:31,490 I agree with what you're saying, but at the same time it's dangerous. 291 00:17:31,827 --> 00:17:34,341 An imperialist country can use that kind of thinking... 292 00:17:34,622 --> 00:17:36,692 ...to justify their economic greed. 293 00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:42,129 Is there any particular imperialist country you have in mind, there, Frenchie? 294 00:17:42,463 --> 00:17:44,579 - No, not really. - No? 295 00:17:50,095 --> 00:17:53,451 - So you wanna sit over there? - Yeah, this is perfect. 296 00:17:53,974 --> 00:17:56,613 Oh, wow. Maybe what I'm saying is... 297 00:17:56,936 --> 00:17:59,734 ...the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. 298 00:18:00,022 --> 00:18:02,934 Like, I mean, me, for example. Am I getting worse? 299 00:18:03,234 --> 00:18:07,273 Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier... 300 00:18:07,613 --> 00:18:10,002 ...but I was wracked with insecurity, you know? 301 00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,732 Now I'm older and my problems are deeper... 302 00:18:12,993 --> 00:18:14,790 ...but I'm more equipped to handle them. 303 00:18:15,621 --> 00:18:17,691 So, what are your problems? 304 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:23,645 Right now I don't have any. I don't, you know? I'm just... 305 00:18:24,004 --> 00:18:25,676 ...damn happy to be here. 306 00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,686 Me too. 307 00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:32,911 So how long have you been in Paris? 308 00:18:33,222 --> 00:18:36,498 I got in last night. I've done 0 cities in 2 days. 309 00:18:36,851 --> 00:18:39,081 I'm wrecked. I'm so glad it's over, you know? 310 00:18:39,395 --> 00:18:40,794 I'm tired of being a huckster. 311 00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:42,871 - Hi. - Hello. 312 00:18:43,149 --> 00:18:44,582 What do you want? 313 00:18:44,859 --> 00:18:46,736 A cup of coffee. 314 00:18:50,573 --> 00:18:54,168 God, I love this caf�. I wish they had places like this in the U. S. 315 00:18:54,743 --> 00:18:57,132 Yeah, I missed caf�s when I was living over there. 316 00:18:57,454 --> 00:19:00,207 I mean, I find a few places I really liked, but there was... 317 00:19:00,541 --> 00:19:04,375 - You were living in the U. S.? - Yes, from '96 to '99. 318 00:19:04,753 --> 00:19:06,266 I was studying at NYU. 319 00:19:06,714 --> 00:19:09,228 Oh, God, don't tell me that, Celine. 320 00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:11,506 - What? - No, it's just... 321 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,440 - Nothing, I mean, I... - What? 322 00:19:13,679 --> 00:19:16,910 I've been living in New York since '98. We were there at the same time. 323 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,737 - In New York? - Yeah. 324 00:19:18,976 --> 00:19:23,492 That's weird. It actually crossed my mind a few times that I might run into you... 325 00:19:23,856 --> 00:19:26,086 ...but the odds are so slim, right? So... 326 00:19:26,775 --> 00:19:28,606 I didn't even know what city you were in. 327 00:19:28,861 --> 00:19:32,217 - Weren't you somewhere in Texas? - Yeah, yeah, definitely. I just... 328 00:19:32,573 --> 00:19:35,929 I was for a long time. I just, you know, wanted to try New York. 329 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:39,712 What brought you back here? 330 00:19:39,997 --> 00:19:41,908 I had finished my master's, for one... 331 00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:44,324 ...and no visa, no more visa. 332 00:19:44,627 --> 00:19:48,825 And I was starting to get paranoid. All the violence in the medias: 333 00:19:49,173 --> 00:19:52,290 Gang violence, murders, especially serial killers... 334 00:19:54,053 --> 00:19:55,645 But the final straw was... 335 00:19:55,930 --> 00:19:58,683 ...one night I heard some noise on my fire escape... 336 00:19:59,016 --> 00:20:01,450 ...so I called 9, and the cops came eventually. 337 00:20:01,769 --> 00:20:05,125 - Like three hours later. - Yeah, after I had been raped and killed. 338 00:20:05,898 --> 00:20:08,287 No, but it was a man and a woman officer. 339 00:20:08,609 --> 00:20:10,520 I was explaining what I had heard... 340 00:20:10,820 --> 00:20:13,015 ...when the woman had to go move the police car. 341 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,918 I was left alone with the male cop. 342 00:20:15,157 --> 00:20:19,435 Right away he asked me if I had a gun, and I said, "No, of course not. " 343 00:20:19,829 --> 00:20:22,582 And he told me, "Well, you better think about getting one. 344 00:20:22,915 --> 00:20:26,112 This is America, not France. Okay?" 345 00:20:26,418 --> 00:20:29,410 And I said to him, "I have no idea how to shoot a gun... 346 00:20:29,755 --> 00:20:32,144 ...and I have no interest in firearms whatsoever. " 347 00:20:32,466 --> 00:20:36,095 And that's when he pulled out his gun, like this, and he went: 348 00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:41,703 "Well, one day, you're gonna have something like this in your face... 349 00:20:42,184 --> 00:20:44,414 ...and if you wanna have a long life... 350 00:20:45,104 --> 00:20:48,733 ...you're gonna have to choose between you or them. " 351 00:20:49,984 --> 00:20:54,182 And then they left. And the next morning I called for an application to get a gun. 352 00:20:54,572 --> 00:20:56,961 Me with a gun. I mean, that's really scary. 353 00:20:57,283 --> 00:20:59,319 But then I realized something was wrong. 354 00:20:59,618 --> 00:21:03,008 The way that cop had pulled his gun out, and everything, right? 355 00:21:03,372 --> 00:21:05,124 So I canceled my demand for the gun... 356 00:21:05,374 --> 00:21:08,366 ...and I called the police and tried to complain about that cop. 357 00:21:08,669 --> 00:21:11,137 - What happened with that? - It was so much paperwork... 358 00:21:11,422 --> 00:21:14,141 ...and then I got scared, with my shitty student visa... 359 00:21:14,425 --> 00:21:16,734 - Thought you'd get deported? - Exactly. I gave up... 360 00:21:17,011 --> 00:21:18,729 ...and forgot about the whole thing. 361 00:21:19,013 --> 00:21:22,449 - Well, I guess I never forgot. - Obviously. 362 00:21:22,808 --> 00:21:25,242 But still, you know, I really enjoyed being there. 363 00:21:25,561 --> 00:21:28,553 - There's lots of things I miss in the U. S. - Yeah? Like what? 364 00:21:30,649 --> 00:21:32,162 Well... 365 00:21:32,443 --> 00:21:34,832 The overall good mood people have there. 366 00:21:35,154 --> 00:21:37,145 Like, even if it can be bullshit sometimes. 367 00:21:37,406 --> 00:21:40,079 Like, "How you doing?" "Great. " "How you doing?" "Great!" 368 00:21:40,618 --> 00:21:42,654 "Have a great day!" 369 00:21:43,162 --> 00:21:46,632 I don't know. Parisians can be so grumpy. Have you noticed? 370 00:21:46,999 --> 00:21:49,513 No, everybody seems pretty happy to me. 371 00:21:50,336 --> 00:21:53,134 - They're not happy. No. - They're not happy? 372 00:21:53,422 --> 00:21:56,653 No, they are. I don't know. I just mean French men. They drive me nuts. 373 00:21:57,009 --> 00:21:58,328 What is it? What about them? 374 00:21:58,719 --> 00:22:01,597 Well, they're very nice. They're great, you know, to be around. 375 00:22:01,931 --> 00:22:03,842 They love food, wine, they're great cooks. 376 00:22:04,099 --> 00:22:06,010 But I've had really bad luck with them. 377 00:22:06,268 --> 00:22:07,826 Why? What do you mean? 378 00:22:08,729 --> 00:22:11,607 - Well, I guess they're not as... - What? 379 00:22:11,941 --> 00:22:13,454 What's the word? 380 00:22:14,568 --> 00:22:17,719 - Horny? They're not as horny. - Horny? 381 00:22:18,072 --> 00:22:22,190 Wait, listen to me on this one. In that regard, I am proud to be an American. 382 00:22:22,535 --> 00:22:24,366 And you should be. In that regard only. 383 00:22:25,621 --> 00:22:27,532 Have you ever spent time in Eastern Europe? 384 00:22:28,082 --> 00:22:30,471 Eastern... No, I don't. Thank you. 385 00:22:31,627 --> 00:22:34,095 I remember as a teenager I went to Warsaw... 386 00:22:34,380 --> 00:22:36,814 ...when it was still a strict communist regime. 387 00:22:37,132 --> 00:22:39,407 - Which I don't approve of at all. - Sure you don't. 388 00:22:39,718 --> 00:22:41,629 - No, I don't. - I'm just kidding. 389 00:22:41,887 --> 00:22:44,685 But anyway, something about being there was very interesting. 390 00:22:44,974 --> 00:22:48,091 After a couple of weeks, something changed in me. 391 00:22:48,394 --> 00:22:51,431 The city was quite gloomy and gray... 392 00:22:51,730 --> 00:22:54,369 ...but after a while, my brain seemed clearer. 393 00:22:54,650 --> 00:22:56,242 I was writing more in my journal... 394 00:22:56,527 --> 00:22:59,564 ...ideas I'd never thought of before... - Communist ideas? 395 00:22:59,905 --> 00:23:01,975 - Listen, I'm not... - I'm sorry, I... 396 00:23:02,283 --> 00:23:03,955 - Okay. - Go on. 397 00:23:04,243 --> 00:23:06,711 Okay. I'll send you to a gulag later. 398 00:23:06,996 --> 00:23:10,306 No. But it took me a while to figure out why I felt so different. 399 00:23:10,624 --> 00:23:13,184 One day, as I was walking through the Jewish cemetery... 400 00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:15,291 ...I don't know why, but it occurred to me there... 401 00:23:15,546 --> 00:23:19,255 ...I realized that I had spent the last two weeks away from most of my habits. 402 00:23:19,592 --> 00:23:21,503 TV was in a language I didn't understand... 403 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,399 ...there was nothing to buy, no advertisements anywhere... 404 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,238 ...so all I'd been doing was... 405 00:23:26,474 --> 00:23:31,025 ...walk around, think, and write. My brain felt like it was at rest... 406 00:23:31,437 --> 00:23:34,873 ...free from the consuming frenzy. It was almost like a natural high. 407 00:23:35,232 --> 00:23:39,589 I felt so peaceful inside. No strange urge to be somewhere else... 408 00:23:39,987 --> 00:23:41,261 ...to shop... 409 00:23:41,530 --> 00:23:43,566 It could have seemed like boredom at first... 410 00:23:43,824 --> 00:23:45,542 ...but it became very, very soulful. 411 00:23:46,619 --> 00:23:48,098 It was interesting, you know? 412 00:23:48,329 --> 00:23:51,526 Can you believe it was nine years ago we were walking around Vienna? 413 00:23:52,166 --> 00:23:55,715 - Nine years? No, that's impossible. - No, it was. It feels like two months. 414 00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,917 But it was summer '94. 415 00:24:00,216 --> 00:24:02,411 Do I look any different? 416 00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:05,732 I do? 417 00:24:06,597 --> 00:24:07,791 I'd have to see you naked. 418 00:24:08,224 --> 00:24:10,101 - What? - I know, I'm sorry. 419 00:24:10,392 --> 00:24:12,667 Your hair was different back then. It was like... 420 00:24:12,937 --> 00:24:15,246 - It's the same... Oh, down. - Yeah, take it down. 421 00:24:15,523 --> 00:24:17,195 Down. Okay, it was down. Okay. 422 00:24:17,483 --> 00:24:19,553 Well? Voil�. 423 00:24:19,902 --> 00:24:21,335 So? 424 00:24:23,447 --> 00:24:24,846 Okay, come on. Tell me. 425 00:24:28,911 --> 00:24:31,379 Skinnier, I think. A little thinner. 426 00:24:32,540 --> 00:24:34,019 Did you think I was fat before? 427 00:24:34,291 --> 00:24:37,089 - No... - Yeah, you thought I was a fatty. 428 00:24:37,419 --> 00:24:41,298 No, you thought I was a fatty. You wrote a book about a fat French girl. 429 00:24:41,632 --> 00:24:43,463 - No, listen. - Oh, no. 430 00:24:43,759 --> 00:24:45,795 Seriously, all right? You look beautiful. 431 00:24:46,095 --> 00:24:48,006 Do I look any different? 432 00:24:48,430 --> 00:24:51,820 No. Not at all. Actually, you have this line. 433 00:24:52,184 --> 00:24:54,493 - I know. - It's like a scar. 434 00:24:54,812 --> 00:24:59,044 - A scar? Like a gunshot wound? - No, no, no. I like it. I'm sorry. 435 00:25:00,568 --> 00:25:05,164 I had this funny... Well, horrible dream the other day. 436 00:25:06,407 --> 00:25:10,286 I was having this awful nightmare that I was 32. 437 00:25:10,619 --> 00:25:13,691 And then I woke up, and I was 23. So relieved. 438 00:25:14,039 --> 00:25:16,507 And then I woke up for real, and I was 32. 439 00:25:16,834 --> 00:25:19,189 - Shit, man. It happens. - Scary. 440 00:25:19,503 --> 00:25:22,063 Time goes faster and faster. Apparently, it's because... 441 00:25:22,339 --> 00:25:25,649 ...we don't renew synapses after our 20s, so it's downhill from then on. 442 00:25:26,969 --> 00:25:29,847 I like getting older, you know? Life feels... 443 00:25:30,264 --> 00:25:33,654 I don't know, it feels more immediate. Like I can appreciate things more. 444 00:25:34,685 --> 00:25:37,153 No, me too, actually. I really love it. 445 00:25:37,730 --> 00:25:39,448 I was once... 446 00:25:39,732 --> 00:25:41,051 ...a drummer in a band. 447 00:25:41,317 --> 00:25:43,785 - You were? - Yeah. We were pretty good, actually. 448 00:25:44,111 --> 00:25:48,150 But the lead-singer guy, he was just so obsessed with us getting a record deal. 449 00:25:48,491 --> 00:25:51,324 It's all we talked about, thought about, getting bigger shows. 450 00:25:51,660 --> 00:25:55,016 Everything was just focused on the future all the time. And now... 451 00:25:55,331 --> 00:25:57,128 ...the band doesn't even exist anymore. 452 00:25:57,374 --> 00:25:59,649 And looking back at the shows we did play... 453 00:25:59,919 --> 00:26:02,717 ...even rehearsing, it was just so much fun. 454 00:26:03,005 --> 00:26:07,044 I just... Now I'd enjoy every minute of it. Could I have a drag of that? 455 00:26:07,468 --> 00:26:10,380 Well, your book has been published. That's a pretty big deal. 456 00:26:10,721 --> 00:26:13,838 You've been all around Europe. Are you enjoying every minute of it? 457 00:26:14,683 --> 00:26:16,480 - Not really. - Not really? 458 00:26:16,769 --> 00:26:18,088 No. 459 00:26:18,687 --> 00:26:21,247 - Do you have another one of those? - Yes, of course. 460 00:26:23,442 --> 00:26:24,921 Here. 461 00:26:25,861 --> 00:26:28,853 In my field, I see these people that... Oh, sorry. 462 00:26:29,198 --> 00:26:31,632 Come into it with big, idealist visions... 463 00:26:31,909 --> 00:26:34,548 ...of becoming the leader that will create a better world. 464 00:26:34,829 --> 00:26:36,945 They enjoy the goal, but not the process. 465 00:26:37,248 --> 00:26:39,045 - Right. - But the reality of it is... 466 00:26:39,291 --> 00:26:42,567 ...the true work of improving things is in the little achievements. 467 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,753 - That's what you need to enjoy. - What do you mean, exactly? 468 00:26:46,090 --> 00:26:49,526 I was working for this organization that helped villages in Mexico. 469 00:26:50,344 --> 00:26:52,733 And their concerns was how to get the pencils... 470 00:26:53,013 --> 00:26:55,322 ...sent to the kid in those little country schools. 471 00:26:55,599 --> 00:26:59,274 It was not about big, revolutionary ideas. It was about pencils. 472 00:26:59,812 --> 00:27:03,122 I see the people that do the real work, and what's really sad is that... 473 00:27:03,649 --> 00:27:06,083 ...the people that are the most giving, hardworking... 474 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,476 ...and capable of making this world better... 475 00:27:08,779 --> 00:27:11,771 ...usually don't have the ego and ambition to be a leader. 476 00:27:12,116 --> 00:27:14,630 They don't see any interest in superficial rewards. 477 00:27:14,952 --> 00:27:17,864 They don't care if their name ever appear in the press. 478 00:27:18,205 --> 00:27:20,878 They actually enjoy the process of helping others. 479 00:27:21,208 --> 00:27:23,802 - They're in the moment. - Yeah, but that's so hard... 480 00:27:24,086 --> 00:27:26,884 ...you know, to be in the moment. I mean, I feel like I'm... 481 00:27:27,173 --> 00:27:31,007 ...designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything, you know? 482 00:27:31,343 --> 00:27:33,732 It's like always trying to better my situation. 483 00:27:34,054 --> 00:27:37,364 I satisfy one desire, and it just agitates another. 484 00:27:37,683 --> 00:27:41,073 And then I think, to hell with it, right? Desire's the fuel of life. 485 00:27:41,395 --> 00:27:44,114 You know? Do you think it's true... 486 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,238 ...that if we never wanted anything, we'd never be unhappy? 487 00:27:47,568 --> 00:27:52,403 I don't know. Not wanting anything, isn't that a symptom of depression? 488 00:27:52,781 --> 00:27:56,251 Yeah, that is, right? I mean, it's healthy to desire, right? 489 00:27:56,619 --> 00:28:00,089 Yeah. I don't know. It's what all those Buddhist guys say, right? 490 00:28:00,456 --> 00:28:02,731 Liberate yourself from desire, and you'll find... 491 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,072 ...you already have everything you need. - But I feel alive... 492 00:28:06,420 --> 00:28:09,093 ...when I want something more than basic survival needs. 493 00:28:09,381 --> 00:28:12,100 Wanting, whether it's intimacy with another person... 494 00:28:12,426 --> 00:28:14,098 ...or a pair of shoes, is beautiful. 495 00:28:14,386 --> 00:28:17,776 I like that we have those ever-renewing desires, you know? 496 00:28:18,140 --> 00:28:19,778 Maybe it's this sense of entitlement. 497 00:28:20,059 --> 00:28:23,654 You know, like whenever you feel like you deserve that new pair of shoes? 498 00:28:24,021 --> 00:28:27,730 It's okay to want things, as long as you aren't pissed off if you don't get them. 499 00:28:28,067 --> 00:28:29,864 Life's hard. It's supposed to be. 500 00:28:30,152 --> 00:28:33,030 If we didn't suffer, we wouldn't learn a thing, you know? 501 00:28:34,532 --> 00:28:36,363 So, what, are you Buddhist, or something? 502 00:28:37,493 --> 00:28:40,053 - No. - No? Why not? 503 00:28:40,579 --> 00:28:45,130 I don't know. The same reason I don't really consider myself anything, really. 504 00:28:45,709 --> 00:28:48,985 I decided a long time ago that I was gonna be open to everything... 505 00:28:49,338 --> 00:28:51,727 ...but not buy into any one and only belief system. 506 00:28:53,467 --> 00:28:56,459 I went to this Trappist monastery a couple years ago. 507 00:28:57,179 --> 00:29:00,888 - Trappist? - Yeah, they're Catholic. Cistercian. 508 00:29:01,308 --> 00:29:04,778 - Why did you do that? - Why? I'd been doing some reading. 509 00:29:05,146 --> 00:29:08,821 Thought it'd be cool. Have you ever spent any time with monks or nuns? 510 00:29:09,316 --> 00:29:12,513 - No. It's not really my style. - No? 511 00:29:13,445 --> 00:29:17,324 Well, I expected them to be all glowering and stern, but they weren't. 512 00:29:17,700 --> 00:29:20,168 They were quick to laugh, really easy to be around. 513 00:29:20,494 --> 00:29:23,372 Seriously, very attuned to everything, they were just... 514 00:29:23,747 --> 00:29:26,056 You know, they weren't trying to hustle anybody. 515 00:29:26,375 --> 00:29:28,764 They're trying to live and die in peace with God... 516 00:29:29,086 --> 00:29:31,475 ...or whatever part of them they feel is eternal. 517 00:29:31,797 --> 00:29:33,674 It was just so refreshing to be around. 518 00:29:33,924 --> 00:29:36,313 You realize that most of the people that you meet... 519 00:29:36,594 --> 00:29:38,312 ...are trying to get somewhere better. 520 00:29:38,554 --> 00:29:41,626 They're trying to make more cash, get a little more respect... 521 00:29:41,974 --> 00:29:44,283 ...have more people admire them. It's exhausting. 522 00:29:44,602 --> 00:29:47,594 - No kidding. - And it's exhausting to be one yourself. 523 00:29:47,938 --> 00:29:51,169 There I am, right, you know, all greedy to be more spiritual. 524 00:29:51,484 --> 00:29:54,920 "I want to be a better person," you know? You can't escape. 525 00:29:55,237 --> 00:30:01,153 I had this boyfriend of mine many years ago that wanted to be a Buddhist. 526 00:30:01,785 --> 00:30:04,219 So he went to Asia to visit some of those monasteries. 527 00:30:04,538 --> 00:30:08,087 - I've thought about doing that too. - Yeah, you should. I'll tell you why. 528 00:30:08,459 --> 00:30:11,690 He was good-looking, and each time he went to one of the monasteries... 529 00:30:12,004 --> 00:30:14,518 ...a monk offered to suck his cock. 530 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:16,478 True story. 531 00:30:17,009 --> 00:30:19,807 It all comes down to that, doesn't it? 532 00:30:20,137 --> 00:30:22,207 That's why I really admire what you're doing. 533 00:30:22,515 --> 00:30:24,551 - You know? - What do you mean? Sucking cock? 534 00:30:24,850 --> 00:30:27,887 - No. - No? Wrong answer. 535 00:30:28,187 --> 00:30:31,816 No, I was gonna say you're not detached from life. 536 00:30:32,191 --> 00:30:34,500 You're putting your passion into action. 537 00:30:34,819 --> 00:30:37,379 Well, I try. 538 00:30:38,113 --> 00:30:41,344 You know something? I'm gonna be on planes... 539 00:30:41,659 --> 00:30:43,889 ...and in an airport for the next eight hours... 540 00:30:44,203 --> 00:30:46,478 I'd just love to see a little bit more of Paris. 541 00:30:46,872 --> 00:30:48,271 - Would you walk with me? - Yeah. 542 00:30:48,499 --> 00:30:49,773 - Do you mind? - That's great. 543 00:30:50,042 --> 00:30:51,873 - Do you want to? - Let's do that. Yeah. 544 00:30:52,169 --> 00:30:53,921 What do we owe here? Four-fifty? 545 00:30:54,213 --> 00:30:56,647 No, I got it, I got a little per diem going on here. 546 00:30:56,924 --> 00:30:59,074 - This good, for a tip? - Yeah, that's fine. 547 00:30:59,385 --> 00:31:01,615 - That's more than enough. - Throw that in too. 548 00:31:01,971 --> 00:31:05,327 - Is there anywhere to go around here? - It's sales day today. 549 00:31:05,683 --> 00:31:08,481 - What's that? - It's when everything's on sale in Paris. 550 00:31:09,103 --> 00:31:10,456 It's twice a year. 551 00:31:13,023 --> 00:31:14,615 All right, let's go shopping. 552 00:31:14,859 --> 00:31:17,851 No, no, no. That's a bad idea. I don't wanna inflict that on you. 553 00:31:18,195 --> 00:31:21,949 It's madness. Let's just go to this garden path. It's really nice. 554 00:31:22,449 --> 00:31:24,758 All right. That sounds better than shopping, actually. 555 00:31:25,035 --> 00:31:27,071 Not that I wouldn't do whatever you wanted. 556 00:31:27,329 --> 00:31:30,207 Sometimes I don't even need to buy anything. I just get high... 557 00:31:30,499 --> 00:31:32,217 ...on trying on and looking at things. 558 00:31:32,459 --> 00:31:34,177 Is this where we're going? 559 00:31:34,420 --> 00:31:36,570 - Yeah. - A therapist will tell you that's good. 560 00:31:36,839 --> 00:31:39,114 - Really? Are you ever in therapy? - Oh, no. 561 00:31:39,425 --> 00:31:42,337 - Do I seem like I'm in therapy? - I'm kidding. 562 00:31:42,887 --> 00:31:46,562 - Does it help your sex problems? - My sex problems? 563 00:31:46,891 --> 00:31:48,370 - I'm kidding. - Tell me the truth. 564 00:31:48,642 --> 00:31:50,792 - We didn't have any problems. - No, I'm kidding. 565 00:31:51,103 --> 00:31:53,458 - We didn't even have sex. - That's a joke, right? 566 00:31:53,772 --> 00:31:56,332 No, we didn't. I mean, that was the whole thing. 567 00:31:56,609 --> 00:31:58,565 - Of course we did. - No, no, no, we didn't. 568 00:31:58,861 --> 00:32:01,534 You didn't have a condom and I never have sex without one. 569 00:32:01,864 --> 00:32:03,661 I'm extremely paranoid. There's no way... 570 00:32:03,949 --> 00:32:06,383 I find it scary that you don't remember what happened. 571 00:32:06,660 --> 00:32:07,979 No, listen... 572 00:32:08,204 --> 00:32:10,798 ...I didn't write an entire book, but I kept a journal... 573 00:32:11,123 --> 00:32:14,911 ...and I wrote the whole night in it. That's what I meant, you idealizing it. 574 00:32:15,252 --> 00:32:18,369 All right, listen, I even remember what brand of condom we used. 575 00:32:18,672 --> 00:32:20,503 That's disgusting. I don't wanna hear it. 576 00:32:20,758 --> 00:32:23,192 - That's not disgusting. - No. 577 00:32:23,552 --> 00:32:27,864 Okay, when I get home I'll check my journal from '94, but I know I'm right. 578 00:32:30,935 --> 00:32:32,766 - Wait a minute. - What? 579 00:32:33,020 --> 00:32:35,659 - Was it in the cemetery? - No. 580 00:32:35,981 --> 00:32:38,256 No, we went to the cemetery in the afternoon. 581 00:32:38,526 --> 00:32:41,324 It was in the park, very late at night. 582 00:32:41,821 --> 00:32:43,891 - In the park? - Wait a minute, wait a minute. 583 00:32:44,156 --> 00:32:45,908 I can't... I can't... 584 00:32:46,909 --> 00:32:50,060 Is it that forgettable? You really don't remember? In the park? 585 00:32:50,412 --> 00:32:53,131 Okay. Wait a minute, I think you might be right... 586 00:32:53,457 --> 00:32:54,731 You're messing with me now. 587 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,319 - No. - Are you messing with me? 588 00:32:56,585 --> 00:32:59,622 Okay. No, I'm sorry. I think... I mean, you're right, okay? 589 00:32:59,964 --> 00:33:03,274 Sometimes I put things in drawers inside my head and forget about it. 590 00:33:03,634 --> 00:33:06,194 It's less painful to put things away than live with it. 591 00:33:06,512 --> 00:33:09,106 What, so that night was, like, a sad memory for you? 592 00:33:09,431 --> 00:33:11,183 I didn't mean that night in particular. 593 00:33:11,433 --> 00:33:13,424 I meant certain things are better forgotten. 594 00:33:13,727 --> 00:33:16,116 I remember that night better than I do entire years. 595 00:33:16,438 --> 00:33:18,156 - Me too. - Really? 596 00:33:18,399 --> 00:33:20,469 Well, I thought I did. 597 00:33:23,195 --> 00:33:26,710 But maybe I... Maybe I put it away because of the fact that... 598 00:33:27,032 --> 00:33:30,024 ...my grandmother's funeral was the day we were supposed to meet. 599 00:33:30,369 --> 00:33:33,202 It was a tough day for me, but it must've been worse for you. 600 00:33:33,539 --> 00:33:37,930 It was unreal. I remember looking at her dead body in the coffin... 601 00:33:38,294 --> 00:33:42,492 ...at her beautiful hands, so warm, so sweet, that used to hold me... 602 00:33:43,174 --> 00:33:46,325 ...but nothing in that coffin resembled what I remembered of her. 603 00:33:46,635 --> 00:33:48,148 All the warmth was gone. 604 00:33:48,471 --> 00:33:51,144 And then I was crying, so confused if I was crying... 605 00:33:51,432 --> 00:33:56,790 ...because I was never gonna see her again or never gonna see you again... 606 00:33:57,229 --> 00:34:00,904 I'm sorry. I'm sorry to go on like this. I've been a little down this week. 607 00:34:01,275 --> 00:34:04,153 - Why? - I don't know. Nothing bad, just... 608 00:34:04,487 --> 00:34:06,364 Reading your book, maybe? 609 00:34:06,614 --> 00:34:10,323 No, but... Thinking of how hopeful I was that summer and fall... 610 00:34:10,701 --> 00:34:12,817 ...and since then it's been kind of a... 611 00:34:13,496 --> 00:34:14,849 I don't know. 612 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:19,073 Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past. 613 00:34:21,962 --> 00:34:24,681 "Memory is wonderful if you don't have to deal with the past. " 614 00:34:24,965 --> 00:34:26,557 Can I put that on a bumper sticker? 615 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,394 If you wrote a book about our night, that's a good title. 616 00:34:29,678 --> 00:34:33,387 - And it could be a total different book. - Yeah, there'd be no sex scenes. 617 00:34:34,141 --> 00:34:35,415 - But you know what? - What? 618 00:34:35,684 --> 00:34:37,003 Now that we've met again... 619 00:34:37,269 --> 00:34:39,783 ...we can change our memory of that December 6. 620 00:34:40,064 --> 00:34:43,340 It no longer has that sad ending of us never seeing each other again. 621 00:34:43,692 --> 00:34:47,970 Right. I mean, I guess a memory's never finished as long as you're alive. 622 00:34:48,364 --> 00:34:51,800 Yeah, I know. I have this memory from my childhood... 623 00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:54,627 ...I realized recently never happened. - What? 624 00:34:54,912 --> 00:34:57,745 Well, when I was 8 or 9, my mom was so paranoid... 625 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,793 ...when I was walking home from my piano lesson at night... 626 00:35:01,085 --> 00:35:03,679 ...she'd warn me about dirty old men giving me candies... 627 00:35:03,963 --> 00:35:05,715 ...and then showing me their pee-pees. 628 00:35:05,965 --> 00:35:08,923 She was so obsessed with it that, later in life, you know... 629 00:35:09,218 --> 00:35:12,494 ...I had this image in my head that this really happened. 630 00:35:12,805 --> 00:35:16,195 To the point that I even associated sex with that walk home. 631 00:35:16,517 --> 00:35:20,066 I mean, and sometimes, even now, when I'm... 632 00:35:21,105 --> 00:35:24,893 When I'm having sex, I see myself walking down that street. 633 00:35:25,234 --> 00:35:27,065 I swear. It's so weird, right? 634 00:35:27,319 --> 00:35:31,358 - Is that street nearby? I mean, could...? - Could we? No. 635 00:35:31,699 --> 00:35:33,815 Very far. 636 00:35:35,077 --> 00:35:37,511 Did you ever keep a journal when you were a kid? 637 00:35:37,788 --> 00:35:40,985 Yeah. On and off, I guess. 638 00:35:41,292 --> 00:35:43,362 It's funny, I read one of mine... 639 00:35:43,627 --> 00:35:45,424 ...from '83 the other day. - Yeah? 640 00:35:45,838 --> 00:35:47,430 And what really surprised me is... 641 00:35:47,673 --> 00:35:50,471 ...that I was dealing with life the same way I am now. 642 00:35:50,801 --> 00:35:52,712 I was much more hopeful and naive... 643 00:35:52,970 --> 00:35:57,088 ...but the core, and the way I was feeling things, is exactly the same. 644 00:35:57,433 --> 00:35:59,663 It made me realize I haven't changed much at all. 645 00:35:59,935 --> 00:36:01,368 I don't think anybody does. 646 00:36:01,604 --> 00:36:05,233 People don't want to admit it, but it's like we have these innate set points... 647 00:36:05,566 --> 00:36:09,036 ...and nothing much that happens to us changes our disposition. 648 00:36:09,361 --> 00:36:10,760 - You believe that? - I think so. 649 00:36:10,988 --> 00:36:14,185 I read this study where they followed people who'd won the lottery... 650 00:36:14,492 --> 00:36:16,289 ...and people who'd become paraplegics. 651 00:36:16,535 --> 00:36:20,528 You'd think one extreme is gonna make you euphoric and the other suicidal. 652 00:36:20,873 --> 00:36:23,467 But the study shows that, after about six months... 653 00:36:23,751 --> 00:36:26,902 ...as soon as people had gotten used to their new situation... 654 00:36:27,213 --> 00:36:29,443 ...they were, more or less, the same. - The same? 655 00:36:29,715 --> 00:36:32,787 Yeah. Like, if they were basically an optimistic, jovial person... 656 00:36:33,093 --> 00:36:35,812 ...they're now an optimistic, jovial person in a wheelchair. 657 00:36:36,138 --> 00:36:38,015 If they're a petty, miserable asshole... 658 00:36:38,265 --> 00:36:42,053 ...they're a petty, miserable asshole with a new Cadillac, a house and a boat. 659 00:36:42,394 --> 00:36:45,591 So I'll be forever depressed no matter what great things happen? 660 00:36:45,898 --> 00:36:47,217 - Definitely. - Great. 661 00:36:47,441 --> 00:36:49,079 No, come on, are you depressed now? 662 00:36:49,318 --> 00:36:51,513 No, no, I'm not depressed. 663 00:36:51,779 --> 00:36:54,339 But sometimes I worry I'll get to the end of my life... 664 00:36:54,615 --> 00:36:58,005 ...feeling I haven't done all I wanted to. - Well, what do you want to do? 665 00:36:58,327 --> 00:36:59,965 I... 666 00:37:00,204 --> 00:37:03,116 I want to paint more, I want to play my guitar every day. 667 00:37:03,415 --> 00:37:06,487 I want to learn Chinese. I want to write more songs. 668 00:37:06,794 --> 00:37:10,946 There's so many things I want to do, and I end up doing not much. 669 00:37:12,049 --> 00:37:17,646 All right, well, let me ask you this: Do you believe in ghosts or spirits? 670 00:37:18,055 --> 00:37:19,374 No. 671 00:37:19,598 --> 00:37:20,872 - No? - No. 672 00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:24,695 - Okay, what about reincarnation? - Not at all. 673 00:37:25,020 --> 00:37:26,897 - God? - No. 674 00:37:27,148 --> 00:37:29,537 - All right. - That sounds terrible. No, no, no. 675 00:37:29,817 --> 00:37:33,571 But I don't want to be one of those people that don't believe in any magic. 676 00:37:33,904 --> 00:37:35,735 - So then, astrology? - Yes, of course! 677 00:37:35,990 --> 00:37:37,742 - There we go. - That makes sense, right? 678 00:37:37,992 --> 00:37:41,268 You're a Scorpio, I'm a Sag, we get along. 679 00:37:42,329 --> 00:37:44,081 No, no, no. 680 00:37:44,331 --> 00:37:47,243 There's an Einstein quote I really, really like. 681 00:37:47,543 --> 00:37:50,899 He said, "If you don't believe in any kind of magic or mystery 682 00:37:51,213 --> 00:37:53,932 you're basically as good as dead. " - Yeah, I like that. 683 00:37:54,216 --> 00:37:57,413 I've always felt there was some kind of mystical core to the universe. 684 00:37:57,720 --> 00:38:02,714 But, more recently, I've started to think that, me, my personality, whatever... 685 00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:06,058 That I don't have any permanent place here, you know. 686 00:38:06,353 --> 00:38:07,945 In eternity or whatever, you know. 687 00:38:08,189 --> 00:38:11,864 And the more I think that, I can't go through life saying this is no big deal. 688 00:38:12,193 --> 00:38:15,549 This is it. This is actually happening. What do you think is interesting? 689 00:38:15,863 --> 00:38:17,933 What do you think is funny? What is important? 690 00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:20,435 You know, every day's our last. 691 00:38:20,910 --> 00:38:24,266 When I feel that way, I usually call my mom to tell her I love her. 692 00:38:24,580 --> 00:38:26,138 - Yeah? - And she's always: 693 00:38:26,373 --> 00:38:30,332 "Are you okay? Do you have cancer? Are you gonna commit suicide?" 694 00:38:30,669 --> 00:38:33,183 It's almost not worth it. 695 00:38:34,507 --> 00:38:37,180 So, what about us? 696 00:38:37,468 --> 00:38:39,902 - What about us? - No, what I mean is... 697 00:38:40,179 --> 00:38:43,615 ...if we were both going to die tonight... - Like the apocalypse was coming? 698 00:38:43,933 --> 00:38:47,892 No, that's too dramatic... But what if just the two of us were going to die? 699 00:38:48,229 --> 00:38:50,106 I mean, would we talk about your book? 700 00:38:50,356 --> 00:38:52,995 - The environment? Or... - If today was our last day? 701 00:38:53,275 --> 00:38:55,789 Yeah, what would we talk about? What would you tell me? 702 00:38:56,070 --> 00:38:57,549 - Well... - That's hard, huh? 703 00:38:57,780 --> 00:38:59,054 - No, no, I'll do it. - Okay. 704 00:38:59,281 --> 00:39:01,636 I definitely would stop talking about my book. 705 00:39:01,909 --> 00:39:04,469 - I would probably drop the environment. - Okay. 706 00:39:04,745 --> 00:39:08,533 But I would still want to talk about, you know, the magic in the universe. 707 00:39:08,874 --> 00:39:11,946 - I'd just want to do it from a... - What? 708 00:39:12,253 --> 00:39:13,811 ...a hotel room, you know... 709 00:39:14,046 --> 00:39:17,675 ...in between sessions of us wildly fucking until we die. 710 00:39:18,008 --> 00:39:20,727 Wow. Well, why waste time with an hotel room? 711 00:39:21,011 --> 00:39:24,287 Why not do it right there on a bench? 712 00:39:25,182 --> 00:39:27,457 Come here, come here, come here. 713 00:39:27,726 --> 00:39:30,035 Okay. We're not gonna die tonight. 714 00:39:30,312 --> 00:39:32,268 All right. Too bad. I'm sorry. 715 00:39:32,523 --> 00:39:34,002 That was an extreme example. 716 00:39:34,233 --> 00:39:36,588 - I'm sorry. - Okay. 717 00:39:36,861 --> 00:39:38,453 What I... My point was, you know... 718 00:39:38,696 --> 00:39:41,415 ...to truly communicate with people is very hard to do. 719 00:39:41,699 --> 00:39:44,372 No, I know, most of our day-to-day exchanges... 720 00:39:44,660 --> 00:39:46,139 Yeah, no, I mean... 721 00:39:46,370 --> 00:39:48,884 ...not to bring everything back to sex... - But why not? 722 00:39:49,165 --> 00:39:52,157 No, this example, this friend of mine, she was talking about... 723 00:39:52,459 --> 00:39:55,371 - She and her boyfriend... Problems in bed. - Right. 724 00:39:55,713 --> 00:39:59,069 And how when they had been dating for a year she started telling him... 725 00:39:59,383 --> 00:40:02,261 ...what he could do to please her more, and it freaked him out. 726 00:40:02,553 --> 00:40:03,827 - Why? - Totally. 727 00:40:04,096 --> 00:40:06,007 He thought it meant he was a bad lover... 728 00:40:06,265 --> 00:40:08,062 Maybe she shouldn't have waited so long. 729 00:40:08,309 --> 00:40:10,584 - After a year... - But men are so easily offended. 730 00:40:10,853 --> 00:40:13,242 - What, more than women? - Definitely on that subject. 731 00:40:13,522 --> 00:40:14,841 - You think so? - Yeah, yeah. 732 00:40:15,649 --> 00:40:17,685 Well, maybe it's because, you know... 733 00:40:17,943 --> 00:40:21,822 ...men are easier to... To please. - To please? 734 00:40:22,198 --> 00:40:25,076 - Well, I don't know. - Yeah, they are. They're definitely. 735 00:40:25,409 --> 00:40:27,445 Anyway, this friend, she was telling me... 736 00:40:27,703 --> 00:40:31,218 ...next time she dates a man, she's gonna make a little questionnaire... 737 00:40:31,540 --> 00:40:34,850 ...about what they like and dislike... - What, written down, or out loud? 738 00:40:35,169 --> 00:40:36,841 Yeah, mostly written down. 739 00:40:37,087 --> 00:40:40,602 But it wouldn't be just yes or no. It would be a bit more complex than that. 740 00:40:40,925 --> 00:40:44,281 Like, for example, if the question is: "Are you into S & M?" 741 00:40:44,595 --> 00:40:49,225 The answer could be: "No, but a good spanking once in a while doesn't hurt. " 742 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:53,149 Right, or like: "Do you like talking dirty in bed?" 743 00:40:53,479 --> 00:40:56,789 - That kind of thing? - Yeah, but not just like any dirty talk. 744 00:40:57,107 --> 00:40:59,382 Just "What specific word would you like to hear?" 745 00:40:59,652 --> 00:41:00,926 - What, me? - Well, yeah. 746 00:41:01,153 --> 00:41:03,713 For example what specific word would you like to hear? 747 00:41:03,989 --> 00:41:05,547 I don't know. 748 00:41:07,117 --> 00:41:09,551 What do you feel about the word "pussy"? 749 00:41:09,829 --> 00:41:12,502 I love it. 750 00:41:12,998 --> 00:41:14,590 Good. 751 00:41:14,834 --> 00:41:17,712 It's amazing what perverts we've become in the past nine years. 752 00:41:18,003 --> 00:41:21,154 At least now we don't have to pretend each new sexual experience... 753 00:41:21,465 --> 00:41:23,103 ...is, like, a life-altering event. 754 00:41:23,342 --> 00:41:26,698 I know. By now, you've stuck it in so many places it's about to fall off. 755 00:41:27,012 --> 00:41:30,561 And I can't realistically expect you've become anything but a total ho. 756 00:41:30,891 --> 00:41:34,167 - Yeah, thank you. - No, I'm s... 757 00:41:34,895 --> 00:41:37,773 - That's true. What can you do? - What can you do? 758 00:41:38,065 --> 00:41:41,694 So, what kind of songs do you write? I didn't know you did that. 759 00:41:42,027 --> 00:41:43,176 - What kind? - Yeah, sure. 760 00:41:43,404 --> 00:41:44,996 - I don't know, just songs. - Like? 761 00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:47,799 Like, some are about, you know, people. 762 00:41:48,075 --> 00:41:49,667 Relationships. One's about my cat. 763 00:41:49,910 --> 00:41:52,299 - Sing one. - No, I can't. I don't have a guitar. 764 00:41:52,580 --> 00:41:54,093 - Come on. A cappella. - No, no, no. 765 00:41:54,331 --> 00:41:57,368 I'm not singing a song without a guitar. You're nuts. 766 00:41:58,002 --> 00:41:59,833 Why not? 767 00:42:00,087 --> 00:42:02,442 - No, okay. Not now. No. - One. 768 00:42:02,715 --> 00:42:05,832 If not now, when? You want to meet here in six months with a guitar? 769 00:42:06,135 --> 00:42:07,568 I'll fly all the way over here. 770 00:42:07,803 --> 00:42:10,681 - You may or may not make the M�tro. - Okay, that's funny. 771 00:42:11,182 --> 00:42:13,173 - We've got to get back. - We'll be all right. 772 00:42:13,434 --> 00:42:15,345 - You're gonna miss your flight. - All right. 773 00:42:15,603 --> 00:42:17,355 We can walk down La Seine. It's nice. 774 00:42:17,605 --> 00:42:19,118 Okay. 775 00:42:19,773 --> 00:42:23,322 - So you're flying back to New York? - Yeah, yeah. 776 00:42:25,362 --> 00:42:29,150 So I read in that article that you're married with a kid. That's great. 777 00:42:29,492 --> 00:42:31,881 Yeah, he's... He's 4. 778 00:42:32,161 --> 00:42:34,277 - What's his name? - Henry. Little Hank. 779 00:42:34,538 --> 00:42:37,211 - He's so much fun. - Oh, wow, I'm sure. 780 00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:40,333 - Your wife, what does she do? - She teaches elementary school. 781 00:42:41,003 --> 00:42:43,471 - Do you have kids? - Yes, two... Shit! 782 00:42:43,756 --> 00:42:45,155 - What? - I left them in the car! 783 00:42:45,382 --> 00:42:47,942 With the windows up, six months ago! Think they're okay? 784 00:42:48,219 --> 00:42:50,733 No, I'm kidding. No, but I want to have kids someday. 785 00:42:51,013 --> 00:42:52,810 - I'm just not ready yet. - No? 786 00:42:53,057 --> 00:42:56,094 - I'm in a good relationship, though. - Oh yeah? That's good. 787 00:42:56,393 --> 00:42:58,384 - What's he do? - He's a photojournalist. 788 00:42:58,646 --> 00:43:00,398 He does war coverage. 789 00:43:00,648 --> 00:43:03,116 He's away a lot, which is good because I'm so busy. 790 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:07,313 But isn't that dangerous? Aren't a lot of those guys getting killed these days? 791 00:43:07,655 --> 00:43:10,772 He promises me he doesn't take risks, but I often worry. 792 00:43:11,075 --> 00:43:13,509 He goes in this trance when he photographs something. 793 00:43:13,786 --> 00:43:16,983 - What do you mean? - Well, once we were in New Delhi... 794 00:43:17,289 --> 00:43:18,722 ...and we passed a bum on the... 795 00:43:18,958 --> 00:43:21,108 - A bomb? - A bum. A homeless. 796 00:43:21,377 --> 00:43:22,651 All right, right. 797 00:43:22,878 --> 00:43:26,553 He looked like he needed help, but his first reaction was to photograph him. 798 00:43:26,882 --> 00:43:29,601 He went really close to his face, fixing his collar... 799 00:43:29,885 --> 00:43:31,557 ...totally detached from the person. 800 00:43:31,804 --> 00:43:34,443 But don't you have to be like that to be good at that job? 801 00:43:34,723 --> 00:43:35,997 Yeah, I mean, I'm not... 802 00:43:36,225 --> 00:43:39,217 I'm not judging him. What he does is essential and incredible. 803 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,556 All I'm saying is that I could never do it. 804 00:43:41,814 --> 00:43:43,486 Let's get on that boat. Come on. 805 00:43:43,732 --> 00:43:45,006 - No! - Come on, it'll be fun. 806 00:43:45,234 --> 00:43:47,464 - You don't have time! - They're about to take off. 807 00:43:47,736 --> 00:43:50,045 I've got 5 more minutes. Do you have a cell phone? 808 00:43:50,322 --> 00:43:52,552 - Yeah. - All right, I've got that driver's number. 809 00:43:52,825 --> 00:43:54,895 I can call him to pick us up at the next stop. 810 00:43:55,161 --> 00:43:58,870 I've never been on those boats. It's for tourists, it's embarrassing. 811 00:43:59,206 --> 00:44:00,480 Okay. All right. 812 00:44:03,961 --> 00:44:05,519 No, I'll get it, I'll get it. 813 00:44:06,380 --> 00:44:08,848 All right. All right, all right. 814 00:44:12,470 --> 00:44:13,744 Thank you. 815 00:44:13,971 --> 00:44:16,041 - So are you in love with that guy? - What guy? 816 00:44:16,307 --> 00:44:19,504 - The war photographer. - Yes, of course. 817 00:44:23,439 --> 00:44:25,555 So do you have that cell phone? 818 00:44:25,816 --> 00:44:27,488 Oh, yeah. 819 00:44:27,735 --> 00:44:29,487 - Okay, let's see... - Okay. 820 00:44:29,737 --> 00:44:31,011 What do I tell him? 821 00:44:31,238 --> 00:44:33,354 Tell him to pick you up at Quai Henri Quatre. 822 00:44:33,616 --> 00:44:36,289 Oh, shit. Quai...? 823 00:44:36,577 --> 00:44:39,250 Henri Quatre. Quai Henri Quatre. 824 00:44:39,538 --> 00:44:41,494 Henri Quatre. 825 00:44:41,749 --> 00:44:44,627 What's wrong with you? No, do you want me to...? Henri Quatre. 826 00:44:44,919 --> 00:44:46,238 - Henry Four? - Yes! 827 00:44:46,462 --> 00:44:49,340 - Come on, why didn't you say so? - I'm sorry. Okay. 828 00:45:01,602 --> 00:45:03,433 Yeah, is this Philippe? 829 00:45:03,687 --> 00:45:06,247 Yeah. Philippe, this is Jesse Wallace. 830 00:45:06,524 --> 00:45:07,843 Yeah. 831 00:45:08,067 --> 00:45:12,140 Well, listen, I'm on one of those boats, right? 832 00:45:12,488 --> 00:45:15,286 And we're gonna arrive at Henry Four. 833 00:45:15,574 --> 00:45:18,805 At Port Henry Four. You know what that is? 834 00:45:19,119 --> 00:45:21,508 All right, great. And you have my bags, right? 835 00:45:21,789 --> 00:45:24,622 Yeah, so we'll be there in... I don't know, it's the next stop. 836 00:45:24,917 --> 00:45:27,192 Okay. Au revoir. 837 00:45:28,379 --> 00:45:30,734 - It's okay? - Yeah, yeah. 838 00:45:31,006 --> 00:45:32,883 Oh, wow. 839 00:45:33,134 --> 00:45:35,728 - Notre Dame, man. Check that out. - Oh, wow. 840 00:45:36,011 --> 00:45:39,845 I heard this story once about when the Germans were occupying Paris... 841 00:45:40,182 --> 00:45:41,740 ...and they had to retreat back. 842 00:45:41,976 --> 00:45:43,853 They wired Notre Dame to blow... 843 00:45:44,103 --> 00:45:48,176 ...but they had to leave one guy in charge of hitting the switch. 844 00:45:48,524 --> 00:45:51,482 And the guy, the soldier, he couldn't do it. 845 00:45:51,777 --> 00:45:55,326 He just sat there, knocked out by how beautiful the place was. 846 00:45:55,656 --> 00:45:57,453 Then, when the Allied troops came in... 847 00:45:57,700 --> 00:46:01,056 ...they found all the explosives lying there and the switch unturned... 848 00:46:01,370 --> 00:46:04,885 ...and they found the same thing at the Sacr�-Coeur, Eiffel Tower... 849 00:46:05,207 --> 00:46:07,402 ...couple other places, I think. 850 00:46:07,668 --> 00:46:09,545 Is that true? 851 00:46:09,795 --> 00:46:12,753 I don't know. I always liked the story, though. 852 00:46:13,048 --> 00:46:14,367 Yeah, that's a great story. 853 00:46:14,633 --> 00:46:17,386 But you have to think that Notre Dame will be gone one day. 854 00:46:17,678 --> 00:46:20,715 There used to be another church at the Seine, right there. 855 00:46:21,015 --> 00:46:23,734 - What, right in the same spot? - Yeah. 856 00:46:25,311 --> 00:46:27,666 You know, this is great. I've never done this. 857 00:46:27,938 --> 00:46:30,452 - Yeah. - I forget about how beautiful Paris is. 858 00:46:30,733 --> 00:46:32,291 It's not so bad, being a tourist. 859 00:46:32,526 --> 00:46:34,915 - Thanks for getting me on the boat. - You're welcome. 860 00:46:35,196 --> 00:46:37,994 I think that book that I wrote was like building something... 861 00:46:38,616 --> 00:46:42,609 ...so that I wouldn't forget the details of the time that we spent together. 862 00:46:42,995 --> 00:46:46,590 You know, like, just as a reminder, that once, we really did meet. 863 00:46:46,916 --> 00:46:49,749 You know, that this was real, this happened. 864 00:46:50,044 --> 00:46:51,955 I'm happy you're saying that, because... 865 00:46:52,213 --> 00:46:56,331 I mean, I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like this: 866 00:46:57,635 --> 00:47:00,786 People just have an affair, or even entire relationships... 867 00:47:01,138 --> 00:47:03,413 ...they break up and they forget. 868 00:47:03,682 --> 00:47:07,391 They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals. 869 00:47:08,187 --> 00:47:11,304 I feel I was never able to forget anyone I've been with... 870 00:47:11,607 --> 00:47:16,965 ...because each person had their own specific qualities. 871 00:47:17,363 --> 00:47:21,993 You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. 872 00:47:23,369 --> 00:47:27,362 Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I never fully recover. 873 00:47:27,706 --> 00:47:30,743 That's why I'm very careful with getting involved... 874 00:47:31,043 --> 00:47:32,999 ...because it hurts too much. 875 00:47:33,254 --> 00:47:36,291 Even getting laid, I actually don't do that... 876 00:47:36,590 --> 00:47:39,388 ...because I will miss of the person the most mundane things. 877 00:47:39,677 --> 00:47:42,271 Like I'm obsessed with little things. 878 00:47:42,721 --> 00:47:44,951 Maybe I'm crazy, but when I was a little girl... 879 00:47:45,224 --> 00:47:48,022 ...my mom told me that I was always late to school. 880 00:47:48,310 --> 00:47:50,585 One day she followed me to see why. 881 00:47:50,896 --> 00:47:55,014 I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees, rolling on the sidewalk... 882 00:47:55,359 --> 00:48:00,877 ...or ants crossing the road, the way a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk. 883 00:48:01,282 --> 00:48:03,238 Little things. 884 00:48:03,826 --> 00:48:05,578 I think it's the same with people. 885 00:48:06,162 --> 00:48:08,960 I see in them little details, so specific to each of them... 886 00:48:09,248 --> 00:48:13,207 ...that move me and that I miss and will always miss. 887 00:48:13,544 --> 00:48:14,977 You can never replace anyone... 888 00:48:15,212 --> 00:48:19,000 ...because everyone is made of such beautiful, specific details. 889 00:48:22,636 --> 00:48:25,787 Like, I remember the way your beard has a bit of red in it... 890 00:48:26,682 --> 00:48:29,242 ...and how the sun was making it glow... 891 00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,233 ...that morning right before you left. 892 00:48:33,272 --> 00:48:37,026 I remembered that, and I missed it. 893 00:48:37,359 --> 00:48:38,633 Really crazy, right? 894 00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:43,074 Now I know for sure. You wanna know why I wrote that stupid book? 895 00:48:43,449 --> 00:48:46,247 - Why? - So you'd come to a reading in Paris... 896 00:48:46,577 --> 00:48:50,570 ...and I could walk up to you and ask, "Where the fuck were you?" 897 00:48:51,165 --> 00:48:53,281 No... You think I'd be here today? 898 00:48:53,542 --> 00:48:57,899 I'm serious. I think I wrote it, in a way, to try to find you. 899 00:48:58,297 --> 00:49:00,288 Okay, that's... I know that's not true... 900 00:49:00,549 --> 00:49:02,779 ...but that's sweet of you. - I think it is true. 901 00:49:03,093 --> 00:49:05,448 What were the chances of us ever meeting again? 902 00:49:06,347 --> 00:49:09,419 After that December, I'd say almost zero. 903 00:49:09,975 --> 00:49:11,931 But we're not real anyway, right? 904 00:49:12,186 --> 00:49:15,258 We're just characters in that old lady's dream. 905 00:49:15,564 --> 00:49:17,873 She's on her deathbed, fantasizing about her youth. 906 00:49:18,150 --> 00:49:20,141 So of course we had to meet again. 907 00:49:20,402 --> 00:49:24,156 Oh, God. Why weren't you there in Vienna? 908 00:49:25,491 --> 00:49:29,086 - I told you why. - I know why, I just... 909 00:49:29,411 --> 00:49:31,561 I wish you would have been. 910 00:49:31,831 --> 00:49:33,981 Our lives might have been so much different. 911 00:49:34,250 --> 00:49:36,366 You think so? 912 00:49:36,627 --> 00:49:38,185 I actually do. 913 00:49:38,462 --> 00:49:41,454 Maybe not. Maybe we would have hated each other eventually. 914 00:49:41,799 --> 00:49:44,552 What, like we hate each other now? 915 00:49:45,594 --> 00:49:49,906 You know, maybe we're... We're only good at brief encounters... 916 00:49:50,266 --> 00:49:54,305 ...walking around in European cities, in warm climate. 917 00:49:54,979 --> 00:49:57,971 Oh, God. Why didn't we exchange phone numbers and stuff? 918 00:49:58,274 --> 00:50:00,344 Why didn't we do that? 919 00:50:00,609 --> 00:50:02,884 Because we were young and stupid. 920 00:50:03,154 --> 00:50:05,349 Do you think we still are? 921 00:50:05,614 --> 00:50:07,650 I guess when you're young you just believe... 922 00:50:07,908 --> 00:50:10,342 ...there'll be many people you'll connect with. 923 00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,634 Later in life you realize it only happens a few times. 924 00:50:13,914 --> 00:50:17,384 And you can screw it up, you know. Misconnect. 925 00:50:17,751 --> 00:50:20,060 The past is the past. It was meant to be that way. 926 00:50:20,337 --> 00:50:22,897 You really believe that? That everything's fated? 927 00:50:23,174 --> 00:50:27,008 Well, you know, the world might be less free than we think. 928 00:50:27,344 --> 00:50:28,982 Yeah? 929 00:50:29,305 --> 00:50:33,059 When given these exact circumstances, that's what will happen every time. 930 00:50:33,392 --> 00:50:36,304 Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen, you'll get water every time. 931 00:50:36,604 --> 00:50:39,880 No, I mean, what if your grandmother had lived a week longer, you know? 932 00:50:40,191 --> 00:50:42,705 Or passed away a week earlier? Days, even? 933 00:50:42,985 --> 00:50:44,498 Things might have been different. 934 00:50:44,737 --> 00:50:48,776 - You can't think like that, it's... - You shouldn't on most things, but... 935 00:50:49,116 --> 00:50:54,110 It's just, on this one, it seemed like something was off, you know. 936 00:50:54,830 --> 00:50:58,425 In the months leading up to my wedding, I was thinking about you all the time. 937 00:50:58,751 --> 00:51:02,426 Even on my way there, I'm in the car, a buddy of mine is driving me downtown... 938 00:51:02,755 --> 00:51:05,394 ...and I'm staring out the window and I think I see you... 939 00:51:05,674 --> 00:51:07,744 ...not far from the church, right... 940 00:51:08,010 --> 00:51:10,399 ...folding up an umbrella and walking into a deli... 941 00:51:10,679 --> 00:51:14,149 ...on the corner of 3th and Broadway. 942 00:51:14,475 --> 00:51:17,865 And I thought I was going crazy. But now I think it probably was you. 943 00:51:18,813 --> 00:51:21,327 I lived on th and Broadway. 944 00:51:22,233 --> 00:51:24,030 You see? 945 00:51:25,402 --> 00:51:28,997 So, what is it like to be married? You haven't talked much about that. 946 00:51:30,074 --> 00:51:33,464 I haven't? How weird. 947 00:51:34,119 --> 00:51:37,907 I don't know. We met, you know, when I was in college. 948 00:51:38,249 --> 00:51:44,358 And we broke up and got back together for a period of years, and then... 949 00:51:45,256 --> 00:51:49,295 What? We were sort of back together and she was pregnant... 950 00:51:50,136 --> 00:51:51,649 ...so marriage. 951 00:51:51,887 --> 00:51:53,843 What is she like? 952 00:51:54,098 --> 00:51:57,010 She's a great teacher, a good mom. 953 00:51:57,309 --> 00:52:00,221 She's smart, pretty, you know. 954 00:52:00,521 --> 00:52:02,512 I remember thinking at the time... 955 00:52:02,773 --> 00:52:05,048 ...that so many of the men that I admired most... 956 00:52:05,317 --> 00:52:09,947 ...that their lives were dedicated to something greater than themselves. 957 00:52:10,906 --> 00:52:13,500 So you got married because men you admired were married? 958 00:52:13,784 --> 00:52:19,780 No, no. It's more like I had this... This idea of my best self, you know? 959 00:52:20,207 --> 00:52:21,879 And I wanted to pursue that... 960 00:52:22,126 --> 00:52:24,765 ...even if it might have been overriding my honest self. 961 00:52:25,045 --> 00:52:26,398 You know what I'm saying? 962 00:52:26,630 --> 00:52:30,987 In the moment, I remember thinking it didn't much matter, the who of it all. 963 00:52:31,385 --> 00:52:33,774 I mean, that nobody is gonna be everything to you... 964 00:52:34,054 --> 00:52:36,807 ...and that it's just the action of committing yourself... 965 00:52:37,099 --> 00:52:40,455 ...you know, meeting your responsibilities, that matters. 966 00:52:40,769 --> 00:52:44,239 I mean, what is love, right, if it's not respect, trust, admiration? 967 00:52:44,565 --> 00:52:47,523 And I... I felt all those things. 968 00:52:47,818 --> 00:52:50,571 Cut to the present, and I feel like I'm running a nursery... 969 00:52:50,863 --> 00:52:53,423 ...with somebody I used to date, you know. 970 00:52:53,699 --> 00:52:55,451 I mean, I'm like a monk, you know. 971 00:52:55,701 --> 00:53:00,377 I mean, I've had sex less than 0 times in the last four years. 972 00:53:01,081 --> 00:53:03,549 - What, what? You laughing at me? - No. 973 00:53:03,834 --> 00:53:06,553 - It sounds pathetic? - What monastery do monks have sex...? 974 00:53:06,837 --> 00:53:10,034 Okay, you're right, I'm doing better than most monks. 975 00:53:10,341 --> 00:53:12,730 But I do, I feel like if somebody were to touch me... 976 00:53:13,010 --> 00:53:15,126 ...I would dissolve into molecules. 977 00:53:15,387 --> 00:53:18,026 Well, we're here. We've gotta go. Come on. 978 00:53:18,307 --> 00:53:20,104 Shit. 979 00:53:32,696 --> 00:53:35,529 - I'm sorry to hear that, you know. - What? 980 00:53:35,825 --> 00:53:38,783 You're not that happy with your marriage. 981 00:53:39,078 --> 00:53:41,638 - This friend of mine, she's a shrink... - How's she doing? 982 00:53:41,914 --> 00:53:43,427 She's a mess, but... 983 00:53:43,666 --> 00:53:46,783 No, she said she's been dealing with couples that are breaking up... 984 00:53:47,086 --> 00:53:49,156 ...for the same reason. - What reason is that? 985 00:53:49,421 --> 00:53:52,060 They all expected, after a few years of living together... 986 00:53:52,341 --> 00:53:54,571 ...for the passion, that desire, to be the same. 987 00:53:54,844 --> 00:53:56,243 - Yeah, right. - It's impossible. 988 00:53:56,470 --> 00:53:57,744 And thank God... 989 00:53:57,972 --> 00:54:01,567 ...we'd end up with aneurysms in that constant state of excitement, right? 990 00:54:01,892 --> 00:54:03,610 We'd do nothing at all with our lives. 991 00:54:03,853 --> 00:54:07,209 Would you have finished your book if you were fucking every five minutes? 992 00:54:07,523 --> 00:54:09,991 I might have welcomed the challenge, I mean... 993 00:54:10,317 --> 00:54:12,956 It's natural for your wife after the birth of your son... 994 00:54:13,237 --> 00:54:15,751 ...to give all her love to the little one. - Of course. 995 00:54:16,031 --> 00:54:19,068 If she was obsessed with sex, riding you like a wildcat... 996 00:54:19,368 --> 00:54:21,040 That wouldn't make any sense, right? 997 00:54:21,287 --> 00:54:24,723 Everything you're saying makes sense. It's not about sex. 998 00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:27,156 No, I know. It's obvious. 999 00:54:27,418 --> 00:54:28,931 I... 1000 00:54:30,129 --> 00:54:33,201 You know, couples are so confused lately. 1001 00:54:33,507 --> 00:54:35,702 I think it must be that... 1002 00:54:35,968 --> 00:54:39,756 ...men need to feel essential and they don't anymore. 1003 00:54:40,097 --> 00:54:42,531 It's been imprinted in their head for so many years... 1004 00:54:42,808 --> 00:54:44,446 ...that they had to be the provider. 1005 00:54:44,685 --> 00:54:48,200 Like, I'm a strong, independent woman in my professional life. 1006 00:54:48,522 --> 00:54:50,001 I don't need a man to feed me... 1007 00:54:50,232 --> 00:54:53,429 ...but I still need a man to love me and that I could love. 1008 00:54:54,945 --> 00:54:57,505 - So your driver's here. - Yeah. 1009 00:54:57,823 --> 00:54:59,415 Well, I guess this is goodbye. 1010 00:54:59,658 --> 00:55:01,250 - You better give me your... - No, no. 1011 00:55:01,494 --> 00:55:03,610 Why don't we just give you a ride home? 1012 00:55:03,871 --> 00:55:06,101 - Well, I can take the M�tro. I'm fine. - No, I... 1013 00:55:06,373 --> 00:55:09,206 My flight's not until 0. I'll be arriving two hours early. 1014 00:55:09,502 --> 00:55:10,855 This way we can keep talking. 1015 00:55:11,086 --> 00:55:13,122 - Monsieur, can...? - It's not on the way. 1016 00:55:27,978 --> 00:55:29,809 You told him where you are and all that? 1017 00:55:30,064 --> 00:55:31,622 Yeah. 1018 00:55:35,027 --> 00:55:37,382 - He knows where he's going? - Yes. 1019 00:55:37,655 --> 00:55:39,452 Glad somebody does. 1020 00:55:39,698 --> 00:55:43,657 - But this is better than the M�tro, right? - Definitely. 1021 00:55:46,247 --> 00:55:50,479 I was thinking, for me it's better I don't romanticize things as much anymore. 1022 00:55:50,835 --> 00:55:52,632 I was suffering so much all the time. 1023 00:55:52,878 --> 00:55:56,234 I still have lots of dreams, but they're not in regard to my love life. 1024 00:55:56,590 --> 00:55:58,865 It doesn't make me sad, it's just the way it is. 1025 00:55:59,176 --> 00:56:03,135 Is that why you're in a relationship with somebody who's never around? 1026 00:56:03,472 --> 00:56:07,226 Yes, obviously I can't deal with the day-to-day life of a relationship. 1027 00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:09,551 Yeah, we have this exciting time together... 1028 00:56:09,812 --> 00:56:13,043 ...and he leaves and I miss him, but at least I'm not dying inside. 1029 00:56:13,357 --> 00:56:15,666 When someone's always around me, I'm suffocating. 1030 00:56:15,985 --> 00:56:18,738 No, wait, you just said that you need to love and be loved. 1031 00:56:19,071 --> 00:56:21,790 Yeah, but when I do, it quickly makes me nauseous. 1032 00:56:22,074 --> 00:56:23,473 It's a disaster. 1033 00:56:23,701 --> 00:56:26,261 I mean, I'm really happy only when I'm on my own. 1034 00:56:26,537 --> 00:56:31,213 Even being alone, it's better than sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. 1035 00:56:32,084 --> 00:56:33,915 It's not so easy for me to be a romantic. 1036 00:56:34,170 --> 00:56:37,526 You start off that way, and after you've been screwed over a few times... 1037 00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:41,992 ...you forget about your delusional ideas and you take what comes into your life. 1038 00:56:42,845 --> 00:56:45,234 That's not even true. I haven't been screwed over... 1039 00:56:45,514 --> 00:56:47,823 ...I've just had too many blah relationships. 1040 00:56:48,100 --> 00:56:49,852 They weren't mean, they cared for me... 1041 00:56:50,102 --> 00:56:53,458 ...but there were no real connection or excitement. 1042 00:56:53,772 --> 00:56:55,842 At least, not from my side. 1043 00:56:56,108 --> 00:56:58,668 God, I'm sorry, is it really that bad? 1044 00:56:58,944 --> 00:57:00,900 It's not, right? 1045 00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:04,878 You know, it's not even that. I was... 1046 00:57:05,159 --> 00:57:08,196 I was fine until I read your fucking book. 1047 00:57:08,829 --> 00:57:10,421 It stirred shit up, you know? 1048 00:57:10,873 --> 00:57:13,387 It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was... 1049 00:57:13,667 --> 00:57:15,737 ...how I had so much hope in things... 1050 00:57:16,003 --> 00:57:19,393 ...and now it's like I don't believe in anything that relates to love. 1051 00:57:19,715 --> 00:57:21,626 I don't feel things for people anymore. 1052 00:57:22,843 --> 00:57:26,358 In a way, I put all my romanticism into that one night... 1053 00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:29,069 ...and I was never able to feel all this again. 1054 00:57:29,350 --> 00:57:31,784 Like, somehow this night took things away from me... 1055 00:57:32,061 --> 00:57:34,370 ...and I expressed them to you, and you took them with you. 1056 00:57:34,647 --> 00:57:36,444 It made me feel cold, like love wasn't for me. 1057 00:57:36,690 --> 00:57:39,329 I don't believe that. I don't believe that. 1058 00:57:40,694 --> 00:57:44,767 You know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me. 1059 00:57:45,115 --> 00:57:49,233 It's funny, every single of my exes, they're now married. 1060 00:57:49,578 --> 00:57:52,376 Men go out with me, we break up, and then they get married. 1061 00:57:52,665 --> 00:57:56,021 And later they call me to thank me for teaching them what love is... 1062 00:57:56,335 --> 00:57:58,724 ...and that I taught them to care and respect women. 1063 00:57:59,004 --> 00:58:01,279 - I think I'm one of those. - I want to kill them! 1064 00:58:01,590 --> 00:58:05,060 Why didn't they ask me? I would have said no, but they could have asked! 1065 00:58:05,386 --> 00:58:09,015 I know it's my fault because I never felt it was the right man. 1066 00:58:09,390 --> 00:58:12,462 Never. But what does it mean, the right man, the love of your life? 1067 00:58:12,768 --> 00:58:15,965 The concept is absurd. We can only be complete with another person. 1068 00:58:16,313 --> 00:58:18,588 - It's evil, right? - Can I talk? 1069 00:58:18,858 --> 00:58:22,134 I guess I've been heartbroken too many times and then I recovered. 1070 00:58:22,444 --> 00:58:24,958 So now, you know, from the starts, I make no effort. 1071 00:58:25,239 --> 00:58:27,912 - I know it's not gonna work out. - You can't do that. 1072 00:58:28,242 --> 00:58:30,039 You can't live trying to avoid pain... 1073 00:58:30,327 --> 00:58:32,045 ...at the expense... - Those are words. 1074 00:58:32,288 --> 00:58:33,687 I've gotta get away from you. 1075 00:58:33,956 --> 00:58:35,992 - Stop the car, I wanna get out. - No, don't... 1076 00:58:36,292 --> 00:58:38,089 - Keep talking. - It's being around you. 1077 00:58:38,335 --> 00:58:40,610 Don't touch me, you know. I want to get on a cab. 1078 00:58:43,424 --> 00:58:45,733 No, don't. No, no, keep going. 1079 00:58:46,010 --> 00:58:49,446 Listen, I'm just so happy... Thank you, just keep going. 1080 00:58:49,763 --> 00:58:51,401 All right. 1081 00:58:52,808 --> 00:58:56,403 Look, I'm just so happy, all right, to be with you. 1082 00:58:56,729 --> 00:58:59,960 I am. I'm so glad you didn't forget about me, okay? 1083 00:59:00,274 --> 00:59:02,868 No, I didn't. And it pisses me off, okay? 1084 00:59:03,194 --> 00:59:06,709 You come here to Paris, all romantic, and married. 1085 00:59:07,031 --> 00:59:08,430 Okay? Screw you. 1086 00:59:09,325 --> 00:59:11,600 Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to get you. 1087 00:59:11,869 --> 00:59:14,224 I mean, all I need is a married man. 1088 00:59:14,955 --> 00:59:18,152 There's been so much water under the bridge, it's not even about you. 1089 00:59:18,459 --> 00:59:20,814 It's about that moment in time that's forever gone. 1090 00:59:21,128 --> 00:59:23,926 You say that, but you didn't even remember having sex, so... 1091 00:59:24,215 --> 00:59:26,968 Of course I remembered. 1092 00:59:28,219 --> 00:59:30,528 - You did? - Yes. 1093 00:59:30,805 --> 00:59:34,036 - Women pretend things like that. - They do? 1094 00:59:34,391 --> 00:59:38,179 What was I supposed to say? That I remember the wine in the park... 1095 00:59:38,521 --> 00:59:41,877 ...and us looking up at the stars fading away as the sun came up? 1096 00:59:42,191 --> 00:59:45,422 We had sex twice, you idiot! 1097 00:59:46,946 --> 00:59:50,575 All right, you know what, I'm just happy to see you. 1098 00:59:50,950 --> 00:59:54,226 Even if you've become an angry, manic-depressive activist... 1099 00:59:54,537 --> 00:59:57,893 ...I still like you, I still enjoy being around you. 1100 00:59:58,707 --> 01:00:02,905 And I feel the same. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened, I just... 1101 01:00:03,254 --> 01:00:05,609 - I had to let it all out. - Don't worry about it. 1102 01:00:05,881 --> 01:00:08,395 I'm so miserable in my love life, in my relationship. 1103 01:00:08,676 --> 01:00:11,713 I always act as... Like, you know, I'm detached. 1104 01:00:12,012 --> 01:00:15,049 But I'm dying inside. I'm dying because I'm so numb. 1105 01:00:15,349 --> 01:00:18,944 I don't feel pain or excitement, I'm not even bitter, I'm just... 1106 01:00:19,270 --> 01:00:21,830 You think you're the one dying inside? 1107 01:00:22,106 --> 01:00:26,145 My life is 24/7 bad. 1108 01:00:26,485 --> 01:00:27,759 - I'm sorry. - No, no. 1109 01:00:27,987 --> 01:00:30,785 I mean, the only happiness I get is when I'm out with my son. 1110 01:00:31,073 --> 01:00:32,665 I've been to marriage counseling... 1111 01:00:32,908 --> 01:00:35,422 ...I've done things I never thought I would have to do. 1112 01:00:35,703 --> 01:00:38,536 I've lit candles, bought self-help books, lingerie. 1113 01:00:38,831 --> 01:00:41,106 - Did the candles help? - Hell, no. 1114 01:00:41,375 --> 01:00:43,764 I don't love her the way she needs to be loved... 1115 01:00:44,044 --> 01:00:48,322 ...and I don't even see a future for us, but then I look at my little boy... 1116 01:00:48,674 --> 01:00:51,905 ...sitting across from me, and I think I'd suffer any torture... 1117 01:00:52,219 --> 01:00:54,494 ...to be with him for all the minutes of his life. 1118 01:00:54,763 --> 01:00:56,560 I don't want to miss out on one. 1119 01:00:56,807 --> 01:01:00,959 But then, there's no joy or laughter in my home, you know? 1120 01:01:01,312 --> 01:01:04,861 - I don't want him growing up in that. - No laughter? That's terrible. 1121 01:01:05,191 --> 01:01:07,022 My parents have been together 35 years... 1122 01:01:07,276 --> 01:01:09,506 ...and even when they fight they end up laughing. 1123 01:01:09,778 --> 01:01:13,407 I don't want to be one of those people who are getting divorced at 52... 1124 01:01:13,741 --> 01:01:17,973 ...and falling down into tears, admitting they never really loved their spouse... 1125 01:01:18,329 --> 01:01:23,164 ...and they feel their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner. 1126 01:01:23,584 --> 01:01:27,020 You know, I want a great life. I want her to have a great life... 1127 01:01:27,379 --> 01:01:29,449 ...she deserves that. 1128 01:01:29,757 --> 01:01:32,954 But we're just living in the pretense of a marriage, responsibility... 1129 01:01:33,260 --> 01:01:37,094 ...you know, all these ideas of how people are supposed to live. 1130 01:01:38,974 --> 01:01:42,683 But then I... I have these dreams... 1131 01:01:44,355 --> 01:01:45,674 What dreams? 1132 01:01:45,898 --> 01:01:49,254 I have these dreams, you know, that... 1133 01:01:49,860 --> 01:01:51,771 ...I'm standing on a platform... 1134 01:01:53,155 --> 01:01:56,147 ...and you keep going by on a train... 1135 01:01:56,450 --> 01:02:00,682 ...and you go by, and you go by, and you go by, you go by. 1136 01:02:01,038 --> 01:02:02,835 And I wake up with the fucking sweats. 1137 01:02:03,082 --> 01:02:05,277 And then I have this other dream... 1138 01:02:05,584 --> 01:02:09,259 ...where you're pregnant in bed beside me naked... 1139 01:02:09,630 --> 01:02:13,259 ...and I want so badly to touch you, but you tell me not to and you look away. 1140 01:02:13,592 --> 01:02:17,904 And I... And I touch you anyway... 1141 01:02:18,264 --> 01:02:22,542 ...right on your ankle, and your skin is so soft that I wake up in sobs, all right? 1142 01:02:23,477 --> 01:02:26,787 My wife is there looking at me, and I feel I'm a million miles from her. 1143 01:02:27,106 --> 01:02:30,985 And I know that there's something wrong, that I... 1144 01:02:31,318 --> 01:02:33,229 God, that I can't keep living like this... 1145 01:02:33,487 --> 01:02:35,921 ...that there's gotta be more to love than commitment. 1146 01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,913 But then I think that I might have given up... 1147 01:02:39,201 --> 01:02:41,032 ...on the whole idea of romantic love. 1148 01:02:41,287 --> 01:02:44,438 That I might have put it to bed that... 1149 01:02:44,748 --> 01:02:47,387 That day when you weren't there. 1150 01:02:47,668 --> 01:02:50,307 You know, I think I might have done that. 1151 01:02:51,672 --> 01:02:53,788 Why are you telling me all this? 1152 01:02:54,758 --> 01:02:58,797 I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm... I should... 1153 01:03:00,139 --> 01:03:02,016 I shouldn't have. 1154 01:03:02,266 --> 01:03:03,779 You know, it's so weird. 1155 01:03:04,018 --> 01:03:07,897 People think they are the only one going through tough times. 1156 01:03:08,272 --> 01:03:12,390 I mean, when I read the article, I thought your life was perfect. 1157 01:03:12,860 --> 01:03:16,614 A wife, a kid, published author. 1158 01:03:17,406 --> 01:03:20,637 But your personal life is more of a mess than mine. 1159 01:03:20,951 --> 01:03:23,181 I'm sorry. 1160 01:03:23,454 --> 01:03:26,446 Well, I'm glad it's good for something. 1161 01:03:29,293 --> 01:03:32,410 - This is where you live? - Yeah. 1162 01:03:33,464 --> 01:03:37,457 So you're just relieved that I'm in even more deep shit than you are? 1163 01:03:37,802 --> 01:03:39,599 Yes, you've made me feel better. 1164 01:03:39,845 --> 01:03:41,915 Oh, good, I'm glad. 1165 01:03:42,181 --> 01:03:44,536 No, I really wish you the best. 1166 01:03:44,809 --> 01:03:48,324 It's not because I'm incapable of having a good relationship or a family... 1167 01:03:48,646 --> 01:03:50,682 ...that I wish everyone to be doomed like me. 1168 01:03:50,940 --> 01:03:53,215 I'm sure you'd make... Be a great mom someday. 1169 01:03:53,484 --> 01:03:54,917 - Really? You think so? - Yeah... 1170 01:03:55,152 --> 01:03:58,144 ...a few antidepressants, you know, you'll do great. 1171 01:03:59,073 --> 01:04:01,792 - Okay, say stop. - Stop. 1172 01:04:02,368 --> 01:04:04,962 - Okay. - You ready? Okay. 1173 01:04:15,214 --> 01:04:19,253 - So I want to try something. - What? 1174 01:04:21,887 --> 01:04:26,039 I want to see if you stay together or if you dissolve into molecules. 1175 01:04:27,268 --> 01:04:29,145 How am I doing? 1176 01:04:29,395 --> 01:04:31,226 Still here. 1177 01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:33,550 Good. I like being here. 1178 01:04:37,528 --> 01:04:39,041 Is this your apartment? 1179 01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:40,918 No, I live down there. 1180 01:04:41,157 --> 01:04:43,307 - Down there? - Yeah. 1181 01:04:43,576 --> 01:04:45,965 Monsieur, I'm gonna walk her to her door. 1182 01:04:55,129 --> 01:04:56,403 This is incredible. 1183 01:04:56,630 --> 01:04:59,224 - This is where you live? - Yeah. 1184 01:04:59,508 --> 01:05:02,580 - How long have you been here? - Four years. 1185 01:05:04,263 --> 01:05:06,333 - So tell me... - What? 1186 01:05:06,599 --> 01:05:08,191 Is it all true about your dreams... 1187 01:05:08,434 --> 01:05:11,073 ...or did you say that to hopefully get in my pants? 1188 01:05:11,353 --> 01:05:12,866 I said that to get in your pants. 1189 01:05:13,105 --> 01:05:15,494 - I use that all the time. - Oh, okay. Does it work? 1190 01:05:15,816 --> 01:05:18,569 You know. Sometimes. 1191 01:05:19,862 --> 01:05:23,218 Here's my kitty. Oh, so cute. Look at him. 1192 01:05:23,532 --> 01:05:25,284 You know what I love about this cat? 1193 01:05:25,534 --> 01:05:27,729 Every morning I bring him to the courtyard... 1194 01:05:28,037 --> 01:05:32,553 ...and every single morning he looks at everything like it was the first time. 1195 01:05:32,917 --> 01:05:36,830 Every corner, every tree, every plant. 1196 01:05:37,171 --> 01:05:39,526 Smells everything with his little cute nose. 1197 01:05:39,799 --> 01:05:43,712 Oh, I love my kitty. I love my kitty. 1198 01:05:45,137 --> 01:05:46,934 - What's his name? - Che. 1199 01:05:47,681 --> 01:05:49,478 Che? 1200 01:05:51,227 --> 01:05:53,536 - What? - Commie. 1201 01:05:55,105 --> 01:05:57,983 No, "che" in Argentina means "hey. " 1202 01:05:58,275 --> 01:06:00,584 - Okay. - Yes. 1203 01:06:00,861 --> 01:06:04,456 Oh, baby. Oh, yes, yes, yes. 1204 01:06:07,952 --> 01:06:11,627 We're having a little party. It's so much fun. 1205 01:06:21,966 --> 01:06:23,718 - So... - So. 1206 01:06:39,984 --> 01:06:44,262 You know what? I was thinking, would you play me one of your songs? 1207 01:06:44,613 --> 01:06:46,683 - You're gonna miss your flight. - I won't. 1208 01:06:46,949 --> 01:06:49,747 I'm gonna be in the airport for over an hour, reading... 1209 01:06:50,035 --> 01:06:52,833 ...wishing you'd played me one of your songs. 1210 01:06:53,164 --> 01:06:55,280 One song? Okay, but quickly. 1211 01:06:55,541 --> 01:06:57,259 Okay. 1212 01:07:02,673 --> 01:07:05,745 God, I love these old staircases. 1213 01:07:44,173 --> 01:07:46,368 - Hold this. - What, for me? 1214 01:07:46,634 --> 01:07:48,590 Hey there, buddy. 1215 01:07:49,762 --> 01:07:51,753 Che. 1216 01:08:03,317 --> 01:08:06,946 - Would you like some tea? - Yeah, sure. 1217 01:08:07,613 --> 01:08:09,171 Wow. 1218 01:08:10,241 --> 01:08:13,597 - Is chamomile okay? - Yeah. Great. 1219 01:08:13,911 --> 01:08:16,061 - Merci. - Messy? 1220 01:08:16,330 --> 01:08:19,925 - You think my apartment is messy? - No, no. Merci. 1221 01:08:20,251 --> 01:08:23,641 - Merci beaucoup. - Ah, merci. 1222 01:08:23,963 --> 01:08:27,558 I meant to tell you, your French has improved a lot. 1223 01:08:27,883 --> 01:08:29,157 - Really? - Yeah. 1224 01:08:29,385 --> 01:08:31,853 Yeah, you've really mastered the language. 1225 01:08:32,763 --> 01:08:35,755 All right, all right, what song are you gonna play me? 1226 01:08:38,102 --> 01:08:40,900 No, I can't. It's too embarrassing. It's been... 1227 01:08:41,188 --> 01:08:44,737 Whoa. No way. No way. I came up here, you cannot crap out on me now. 1228 01:08:45,067 --> 01:08:47,023 One song. Anything will be great. 1229 01:08:47,319 --> 01:08:49,037 But listen, you're gonna laugh at me. 1230 01:08:49,280 --> 01:08:50,713 - You think so? - Yes. 1231 01:08:50,990 --> 01:08:52,901 I doubt it. 1232 01:08:55,744 --> 01:08:57,097 Okay. 1233 01:08:57,329 --> 01:08:59,604 What do you want to hear? I have... 1234 01:08:59,874 --> 01:09:02,104 I have three songs in English. 1235 01:09:02,376 --> 01:09:03,695 One's about my cat... 1236 01:09:03,919 --> 01:09:07,832 ...one's about my ex-boyfriend... Well, ex-ex-boyfriend... 1237 01:09:08,174 --> 01:09:10,563 ...and there's one about... 1238 01:09:11,051 --> 01:09:14,282 Well, it's just a little waltz. 1239 01:09:14,597 --> 01:09:16,633 A waltz? Yeah. 1240 01:09:16,932 --> 01:09:18,968 - Play the waltz. - Right. 1241 01:09:19,268 --> 01:09:21,577 I haven't played it in a while. You sure? 1242 01:09:25,024 --> 01:09:26,503 Okay. 1243 01:09:27,318 --> 01:09:29,513 All right, the waltz. 1244 01:09:41,832 --> 01:09:46,144 Let me sing you a waltz 1245 01:09:46,504 --> 01:09:51,055 Out of nowhere, out of my thoughts 1246 01:09:51,425 --> 01:09:55,782 Let me sing you a waltz 1247 01:09:56,138 --> 01:09:59,847 About this one-night stand 1248 01:10:01,101 --> 01:10:06,573 You were, for me, that night 1249 01:10:06,982 --> 01:10:12,659 Everything I always dreamt of in life 1250 01:10:13,072 --> 01:10:16,462 But now you're gone 1251 01:10:16,784 --> 01:10:20,857 You are far-gone 1252 01:10:22,039 --> 01:10:26,510 All the way to your island of rain 1253 01:10:26,877 --> 01:10:32,509 It was, for you, just a one-night thing 1254 01:10:32,925 --> 01:10:35,758 But you were much more to me 1255 01:10:36,095 --> 01:10:38,689 Just so you know 1256 01:10:39,849 --> 01:10:42,727 I don't care what they say 1257 01:10:43,018 --> 01:10:47,773 I know what you meant For me that day 1258 01:10:48,149 --> 01:10:52,779 I just want another try 1259 01:10:53,154 --> 01:10:57,944 I just want another night 1260 01:10:59,410 --> 01:11:05,121 Even if it doesn't seem quite right 1261 01:11:05,583 --> 01:11:09,417 You meant, for me, much more 1262 01:11:09,753 --> 01:11:13,905 Than anyone I've met before 1263 01:11:14,258 --> 01:11:20,333 One single night with you, little Jesse 1264 01:11:20,764 --> 01:11:25,679 Is worth a thousand with anybody 1265 01:11:26,937 --> 01:11:30,168 I have no bitterness, my sweet 1266 01:11:30,649 --> 01:11:35,518 I'll never forget this one-night thing 1267 01:11:35,905 --> 01:11:41,775 Even tomorrow, in other arms 1268 01:11:42,203 --> 01:11:47,994 My heart will stay yours until I die 1269 01:11:52,421 --> 01:11:57,017 Let me sing you a waltz 1270 01:11:57,384 --> 01:12:02,219 Out of nowhere, out of my blues 1271 01:12:02,598 --> 01:12:07,353 Let me sing you a waltz 1272 01:12:07,728 --> 01:12:12,722 About this lovely one-night stand 1273 01:12:30,042 --> 01:12:33,512 - No, one more! Please, please. - No! It was our deal. 1274 01:12:33,879 --> 01:12:36,234 One... One song. No, no, no. 1275 01:12:36,549 --> 01:12:38,983 You can have your tea and then... 1276 01:12:44,515 --> 01:12:46,790 - All right, let me ask you one question. - What? 1277 01:12:47,059 --> 01:12:50,210 Do you just plug that name in for every guy that comes up here? 1278 01:12:50,938 --> 01:12:52,212 Yes, of course. 1279 01:12:52,439 --> 01:12:56,352 What do you think, that I wrote the song about you? Are you nuts? 1280 01:13:00,906 --> 01:13:03,181 Is this you? Little cross-eyed Celine? 1281 01:13:03,450 --> 01:13:05,918 - Yes. That's funny. - Cute. 1282 01:13:07,413 --> 01:13:10,689 - Is that your grandmother? - Yeah. 1283 01:13:12,585 --> 01:13:14,576 Oh, wow. 1284 01:13:15,045 --> 01:13:18,003 - You want some honey? - Yeah, sure. 1285 01:14:07,807 --> 01:14:10,037 Did you ever see Nina Simone in concert? 1286 01:14:10,309 --> 01:14:12,743 No, I never did. I can't believe she's gone. 1287 01:14:13,187 --> 01:14:14,620 I know, it's so sad. 1288 01:14:15,815 --> 01:14:17,214 Thanks. 1289 01:14:17,441 --> 01:14:19,352 It's hot. 1290 01:14:21,529 --> 01:14:24,248 I saw her twice in concert. 1291 01:14:24,990 --> 01:14:27,185 She was so great. 1292 01:14:27,493 --> 01:14:30,371 That's one of my favorite songs of hers. 1293 01:14:46,345 --> 01:14:47,619 She was so great. 1294 01:14:49,598 --> 01:14:51,793 She was so funny in concert too. 1295 01:14:52,059 --> 01:14:56,052 She would... She would be right in the middle of a song and then... 1296 01:14:56,397 --> 01:14:58,194 ...you know, stop... 1297 01:14:58,440 --> 01:15:02,353 ...and walk from the piano all the way to the edge of the stage. 1298 01:15:02,695 --> 01:15:04,925 Like, really slowly. 1299 01:15:07,992 --> 01:15:11,143 And she'd start talking to someone in the audience. 1300 01:15:11,454 --> 01:15:14,685 "Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah. 1301 01:15:15,583 --> 01:15:17,733 I love you too. " 1302 01:15:18,252 --> 01:15:22,530 And then she'd walk back. Take her time, no hurry, you know. 1303 01:15:22,882 --> 01:15:26,238 She had that big, cute ass. 1304 01:15:26,552 --> 01:15:28,031 She would move. 1305 01:15:29,805 --> 01:15:34,435 And then she would go back to the piano and play some more, you know. 1306 01:15:36,145 --> 01:15:37,737 And then she would, I don't know... 1307 01:15:37,980 --> 01:15:40,369 ...just start another song in the middle of another. 1308 01:15:40,649 --> 01:15:44,278 You know, like, stop again, and be like: 1309 01:15:44,612 --> 01:15:48,446 "You over there, can you move that fan. 1310 01:15:49,533 --> 01:15:51,569 You're cute. 1311 01:16:12,681 --> 01:16:14,592 Oh, yeah. " 1312 01:16:18,229 --> 01:16:22,347 Baby, you are gonna miss that plane. 1313 01:16:23,818 --> 01:16:25,649 I know. 113168

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